Welcome, my little critters, to Tales from the Crit Season 2, The Level Up.
We're an actual play podcast with an ever-changing cast of players making our way through a bunch
of different RPG systems, from micro-RPGs to some of the more well-known role-playing
games out there, and the occasional highly narrative tabletop game.
Content warnings can be found in the episode's description.
My name is Riley Groves, and I am the Crit Keeper on this episode of Tales from the Crit.
Last time, on Vault 69, a displeased Gulea Roberts gets fed up with the customer service
while the gang was visiting shops in the Red Rail Station.
In the hubbub of the altercation, Old Tallman gets caught trying to loot another nearby
shop and is quickly surrounded by guards before he can escape.
Gulea and Old Tallman make light work of those guards, however, in a horrifying act of violence,
leaving all of them dead.
Marvin and Augusta search for the brothel in another part of the town, but only manage
to find Gules.
The gang then flee the scene of the crimes and heads to a new area, to lick their wounds.
Welcome back to Tales from the Crit.
I am the Crit Keeper, Riley Groves, and I have my delightful co-hosts here with me,
Rebecca.
Tim.
Hello.
Mikey.
Hi.
And Derek.
Hello.
And before we jump back into Fallout, let us answer a question not from our pod deck interview
deck, but from our ultimate campfire RPG card deck thing here that we've been using.
You're going to answer a question about your character, not yourself this time, as a reminder.
And the question is, I can never forgive somebody who blank and why.
That's more of a statement than a question.
That's easy for me, but Marvin couldn't forgive somebody that would maliciously hurt a robot.
Or even not maliciously, just anybody that would hurt a robot.
It says so right in my bio.
It enrages me to no end, to the point where I might just go into a blind killing fury.
All right, awesome.
No forgiveness.
No surrender.
No one gets left behind.
Thunder gun.
I'll come back for you.
I think Gulea can't forgive the person that made her a ghoul.
Maybe I'm mixing that up with zombies, but I think that's how it works in this world.
In this world, the ghouls are just people from pre-war that have been affected by radiation.
So their cells are just overly irradiated and they just don't die until they go feral
and they don't die.
I thought it was they took a serum that healed their wounds and the serum hadn't been fully
tested and that was a side effect, was that you slowly turned into a ghoul.
I think that's probably more of the TV show.
Oh yeah, that was...
Why do they do this?
That was the only new thing that they introduced in the show, was that weird ghoul serum.
So that it makes sense to people that are watching.
I hate when they rewrite stuff like that.
It's so confusing to hop into lore and then you're the dumbass.
Well, you know what?
In all actuality, because this is a podcast, this is a whole separate medium.
So we can make it however we want to make it.
Then I say zombie ghouls, because that makes more sense for me.
The thing is you've never been able to play as a ghoul really before until 76 came out
and this might just be a...
And that was a recent thing, I believe.
And it might just be something that they're adding in now that you can now be a ghoul.
If we were to number them, numerical releases, what number is 76?
Just curious.
Six.
Oh wow.
It would take a long time to add that into the franchise.
And that's been out for five years now.
Okay.
Because it went Fallout 3 and then Fallout New Vegas, which would have been the fourth
game out.
Oh no, then it's seven.
Oh wow.
Because one, two, tactics, three, New Vegas, four, 76.
Fallout shelter is a mobile game.
Don't count that.
So are you saying you got bit and turned into a ghoul?
Sure.
Yep.
That's how this works in this game.
Okay.
Sure.
It doesn't make sense with this backstory that I'm reading because I think my whole
family's ghouls are some shit, but I don't care anymore.
Your whole family got bit by a radioactive Jeff Goldblum?
Yep.
Yes, it was Jeff Goldblum.
So I can't ever forgive him.
You could have been bit by a glowing one there.
Highly radioactive.
It was a dark stormy evening.
He told me life finds a way and then he bit my arm.
Well, it was really, it was really life finds a way.
I was paraphrasing.
I think that Augusta would have a hard time forgiving anyone that was intentionally trying
to harm the process of the evolution of AI.
Okay.
This is a big part of her backstory that I just read and it seems important.
Here we are standing at the end of all things and we finally read our character sheets.
We have truly found ourselves on a journey.
I was just so excited to play.
I think I just kind of skimmed it and went, got it, rebelled from a vault.
And then there's that second paragraph and I went through that and I'm like, much more
detailed information about what happened after the vault.
All right, cool blue suit.
Fuck it.
Let's go.
All right.
I think old tall man would not be able to forgive anybody who destroyed pre-war sources
of knowledge.
It seems to be one that likes to read up on history and culture and science and anything
after the war is kind of easy.
So he spent some time in the Boston library looking for stuff.
So like anyone who destroyed something of significance of pre-war knowledge, he would
be upset about.
All right.
Be able to forgive them.
Awesome.
Let's get into it.
All right.
So it has been 16 hours now and you guys are in section six with the irradiated lake.
Tall man regenerates health from radiation.
How much?
You regenerate one health for every three points of radiation.
Cool.
I'm going to walk into that lake as we pass it.
That seems like a bad idea.
It feels good at first.
You can recover two HP as you get in here.
Your injury does not heal.
I'm also going to down the iguana I have.
As you're munching on iguana, wave past your waist deep in this with your one broken arm,
you feel both of your legs get pulled out from underneath you.
You guys here.
And suddenly you guys don't see anybody in the lake.
That weird ripple spot.
Wasn't that where tall man just was?
Yep.
Did you just kill me?
I'm going to aim my hunting rifle at that area.
Yeah, I've got the disintegrator or the atomizer pointed right up where he disappeared from.
I'm taking this as a sneak attack.
Your legs get pulled out from underneath you as you feel the toothy maw of an angler wrapped
around one of your legs and you get yointed underneath the water and it's large fish like
reptilian like body drags you further into the water and it hits you for eight damage
to your leg.
Oh, wait, I have eight.
So you're dead.
No, I have a resistance of one.
So I have one.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, I'm alive.
And for every second in there, you just gain an HP.
Yeah.
Until you can't breathe.
How much how much is like blade where if I just keep drinking the irradiated water as
fast as I can, I'll heal faster than the damage.
Drowning is a good thing.
I don't think you'll be able to drink the water fast enough.
It is your turn.
Cool.
I'm going to shoot that thing in the face with my electric.
Oh my God.
Tesla rifle.
You can't.
It's a broken arm.
Get out of there now.
OK.
Oh, he can't even swim.
I am going to stab it with the machete for a double crit and a success.
So how much damage do I get to give it on that?
How much does your machete does?
Five plus a two to melee.
OK, so add another two on top of that on top of that.
Awesome.
Three heads, a shot, four heads, a single and a double for four heads and six and seven
shots of damage.
All of a sudden you see that thing's head just explode.
You do stab it pretty well.
Let's see where.
Well, I mean, if it bit me, I feel like the only place I'm going to be able to strike
it is its head.
It's got me by the legs.
I'll give you that.
It does let go.
However, it does have a huge physical damage reduction.
So it takes decent damage and it does let go of you with its jaws, but it is not dead.
Is it enough for me to try and get the hell out of there?
It's not on you because I haven't had any movement yet.
Could I use part of my movement to get out or get away?
You can try.
Your arm is broken and you are in deeper water.
So give me a strength and athletics difficulty of two.
Author successes.
You're able to get yourself out of the water.
Yeah, I should not go in there.
As soon as you come up, she shoots at you.
I shoot at you.
Don't go in there.
I wasn't gonna.
You know, there's big fish things in there.
Yeah, there's a sign right here that says swim at own risk.
You see its head pop up out of the water and it goes hawk.
And now we shoot at it.
Now we shoot at it.
It sends some of its flaming spit at the three of you however it does miss.
And then it recedes into the lake.
I mean we were ready to shoot at it.
Do we get a shot?
I wouldn't waste the shot.
If he's out of the water, I'm not worried about it.
This isn't a creature that can come onto land, I'm assuming.
It can definitely come onto land.
Yes, it can.
So let's just get a lot of here.
Yeah.
Oh, don't forget everybody was supposed to take a, I guess it would be a plus one dollar
stats meaning it gets harder.
Or a minus one, no minus one.
It's only the excess.
I'm going to scoop up tall man and just start moving as he looks real rough and I have this
extra strength of body suit.
Yeah, we just keep going south.
Oh yeah, because your leg would be crippled too.
So you have a broken arm and a broken leg at this point.
On the same side?
While we're moving out, can I fill the empty container I had from the purified water with
dirty water?
If you stay here, you will be attacked and we will leave.
Okay.
It however, has now been 16 hours.
Where are you guys going?
South to Maslow's.
How long do you think it'll take us to get to Maslow's?
Another four hours.
Okay.
I think that since we haven't actually been there, maybe we should like spend the night
resting.
Well, I don't really need HP.
It's you that needs HP, but it would be nice to have some better stats if we run into shit
at Maslow's Motel and it'd be kind of nice to have our tank character if we run into
shit at Maslow's Motel.
As you know.
You're the tank now.
I can't do any damage.
Can you just carry him and he could sleep?
I'm more like a mobile wall.
Like a baby?
Oh, can we do that?
I mean, it's still going to affect you.
That's true.
It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
I don't know how that would work.
He's bigger than you still.
Even in the suit?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's huge.
He's twice the size of a suit of armor.
So like, I'm not saying that you couldn't carry him.
I'm just saying I don't know how he would recover.
Good point.
Health.
That makes sense.
And he's still mobile.
Just not.
I like the idea of limping out of here and then sleeping before we get to the motel.
Or scoping it out before we head into the motel.
Yeah, I definitely want to setting up a camp to allow you some rest would be a good idea.
In section six still.
What is your energy weapon skill?
Do you have a plus on that?
I have a one ranking in energy weapons.
Then why don't you take the Tesla gun right now?
Sweet.
Okay, what exactly are you guys doing?
Camping in section six.
Is that what we're deciding?
Otherwise, it's back to the Red Rocket Station that we already cleared out.
Yeah, I was just going to say the Red Rocket is probably a safe bet if we wanted to have
four walls and a roof.
Yes, but the issue is that it was going to take the four more hours and it takes that
whether we go to the Red Rocket Station or Maslow's because we're crossing into a different
section.
Yeah, there was something different at Maslow's Motel.
Yes, we don't want to go into room two.
Oh, I missed that note.
Then why don't we head towards Red Rocket?
We know it's a safe.
If you guys are going to push on through the night one more time, you're going to take
another minus one to all your skills.
So you'll be at minus two except for Marvin.
We won't make it to Red Rocket before nightfall.
I mean, you're almost so you'll be at 20 hours.
Then why don't we rest on road?
Mm hmm.
Doing that doesn't necessarily recover you will say to HP because you're pretty fucked
up.
Your injuries are not healed.
Guli Roberts, I don't think you took any damage.
Nope, I'm good.
Okay.
And Augusta, I think you're all right.
We're all good except for one.
Can I perform a medicine thing on him?
I have a three in medicine.
Yeah, that'll help him recover some HP, but his injury won't heal like that.
Okay.
I'm more for the HP at this point.
Let's do it.
I'm assuming that would be intelligence and medicine.
Yep, intelligence and medicine.
Oh yes, that's right.
One success, one failure.
While these guys are resting, can I maybe put some of my armor plating on?
Can you do it?
I don't think you can.
I have a pincer arm.
I can put some, I probably put some things on and I have a three in repair.
Riley's face says no.
And two in science.
Either way, if we can't, no big.
Yeah, I don't think you'd be able to just because of the lack of like having one arm.
You could pretty much put something on, you know, an arm, but you couldn't hold it to
them like do manipulate something.
You could spot load it with the flamethrower.
Yeah.
Okay.
Intelligence and medicine will heal a number of HP equal to your rank in medicine.
So what's your, what's your medicine?
Three.
So you can recover three HP.
If you did want to spend an action point to increase that you would increase one HP for
every AP spent.
Yeah.
Let's spend two.
Okay.
Thank you.
I was actually incorrect.
You could do intelligence and medicine tests to treat an injury sustained from a critical
hit.
You would also need a first aid kit.
It's fine.
We can just stick with the HP.
I do not have a first aid kit.
I have Stimpak.
Oh, they had tons of them at the Radrail station.
Stimpaks fix injury.
I think all injury, but I don't know how many you have.
I got two.
Let's use a Stimpak.
Is that cool, Riley?
Each Stimpak will heal one injury.
One injury?
One injury.
Okay.
And any HP or no?
Four.
Okay.
So it would be either your arm or your leg.
I'm going to take the arm so I can use the two-handed weapons again.
Thank you very much because I basically, I'm just one shy of full health with all that.
Nice.
So that's good.
And you guys hunker down for the night?
Yep.
So it's the morning of the penultimate day?
I have the 28th, but-
Well, two days would have just passed.
So it is the 29th.
Yeah.
So tomorrow is the day, the 30th.
Yeah.
So you're the morning of the 29th.
Yep.
What do you guys do?
You're still in section six.
I think we better start hoofing it down to that farmhouse.
It'll take us eight hours to get there?
An old day to get there.
Yeah.
Let's get there.
You bypassed Maslow's?
Yeah.
Right?
I'm fine with that.
We don't have any reason to go-
Not unless there's something crazy we don't know about in there that's beneficial, but
yeah.
I think we heard the opposite.
Yeah.
I feel like it's-
We also just went to the beneficial place and made it the opposite.
So-
Yeah.
We did good.
I never get to be the wild card.
I wanted to explode something needlessly.
Tim and I are the ones like being the voice of reason.
We're like, no, just go to the store and get what you want.
That's usually me and I pay for it like I would in real life.
And this time I was like, nah.
Thank you for the backup.
All right.
You guys move through the day through section nine and into section eight.
So you guys passed by the Red Rocket Station that you were at earlier in your adventure
here and you make it to section eight, which is nicer than other places.
There's like a little bit of grass growing, not much, but a little bit of grass.
You come across a large farmhouse as the night of the 29th.
All right, guys.
I think this is what we've been looking for.
So well, is it tomorrow that it opens up?
Tomorrow morning, I think.
All right.
Well, we need to figure out what's going on in there.
Checks for traps.
And I would also like to get this armor plating on me and I need help.
Oh yeah.
Guleya, do you want to go with me and check around the area while these two work on the
armor and Melvin over here?
I think we should make sure the farmhouse is OK to get into so I could start working
on them before you guys do too much.
Oh, that's what we were going to go check out.
Oh, I figured you would work out work on him outside outside.
Or if we found something else, but not necessarily in the farmhouse, because I don't know, that
could have a vault door in the inside of it and not actually be a house.
OK.
Sorry, I was rereading this journal that I found and hoping that because I thought I
remember that we said the door was in the farmhouse, but this doesn't say that.
So then I'm like, not sure where we got that information from.
Yeah, it just says the old farmhouse is not what it seems.
And rumor has it that vault 69 is located in section eight.
So it doesn't necessarily mean it's a farmhouse.
So we'll go check it out and if it's something you guys can move into or we can stay in the
night in.
All right.
We'll check out the farmhouse.
Yeah.
All right.
You guys move towards the farmhouse and it's really pretty untouched.
The paint's still on it, even though weathered with time.
And as you come up, one strange thing is you can't like see through the windows.
They're pretty dark.
They look like they've got a tint over them.
Well, that's odd.
This seems kind of suspicious as though why would people not want.
Huh.
This is so that we can't look in or that other people can safely watch what's happening outside.
How many doors are on this building?
This house?
Three.
Okay.
So there's the, I'm guessing there's a front, a back and a side.
Yeah.
So there's a back.
No, there's three front doors.
Next to each other.
No.
Yeah.
I was going to say, do you need to see a picture of what that?
No, they are, they are spread around the building.
Okay.
Can I check the frame around the side door for any traps, trip wires, hinges, you know,
any of that booby trap type?
Yeah.
Give me an intelligence and.
Survival?
Yeah, I guess we'll go with survival.
We've done that one a line.
All right.
Uh, I have a success.
You see that funnily enough, there is a lack of hinges and you try the front door or you
try the door knob, like just gently, not, not actually, you know, attempting to open
it, but like the door knob itself doesn't move.
Not even like a little play.
It just doesn't seem almost like a false door.
Looking at it, you can tell that the whole thing's been painted.
Like it, it doesn't look like it's ever been opened if it was a door.
Okay.
Can I investigate like the foundation of the house?
I'm starting to wonder if the house is the vault door.
The foundation of the house is just made of concrete block.
Okay.
So there's no like hinges implying that the house is just going to raise up like a door.
Correct.
There's no giant hinges.
There's no comically giant hinges.
I'd like to tap on the window and see if it sounds like a normal window.
You tap and it sounds really pretty echoey.
Doesn't sound like there's, there's too much inside.
Oh, yeah.
What does it, does it tap?
It seems like normal glass metal.
It's glass.
Okay.
What is the, I would like to inspect the front door, see if that looks like it's been used.
If there's any, like if it's a basic block, how what's going on there?
Yeah, you go up and you try the different handle or you try the handle and you look
around and similarly to what Mr. Tallman experienced on the side door, it doesn't look like it's
an actual functioning door.
At this point, I want to start just slowly searching the perimeter all the way around
the house, all sides, looking to see if I can spot any type of potential area that responds
to like old vault tech that I would be familiar with.
Yeah, give me a intelligence and a science.
I needed a 12.
I got a 16 and a three.
I have a three rank in science with a tag, so that's a crit.
Awesome.
So looking around, walking around, I'll say what you do find is a window that some of
the tint may have been like peeled up from the inside or is missing and you can see just
in.
So inside, instead of there being a floor, you see a gigantic vault door inside of this
farmhouse.
All right, guys, it's definitely inside of the house, the vault door.
We just have to figure out how to get into the house.
Can't we just break the windows?
Let me be more specific.
The vault door takes up almost the entire floor space inside of this building.
Oh, so it's a horizontal door?
Yes.
The doors would open and elevator would rise up from the bottom.
That's what it seems like.
Yeah.
The door is flat to the ground, parallel to the ground.
And it probably drops down to.
So why don't we just wait until they start coming out tomorrow and we can just snap them
out of the doorways?
I'm not opposed to that.
I'm just wondering if we want to have a way into the building.
Yeah, we should stage inside.
So we can be inside.
This is the person rigged the door to automatically open, which doesn't necessarily mean people
coming out.
So we just go in.
And it does not specify which door is going to open.
If it's one of these on the outside or if it's just the vault door itself, there also
might be some sort of mechanism where this house itself will move in some manner to allow
exit from the vault.
Maybe this is just to hide the door and it'll move out of the way when it opens.
We just burn the house down.
It's always an option.
Why don't we prepare for that situation, but wait till the morning to see what happens
through this little window pane here we can spy through.
Fire can't go through walls.
It's not ghosts.
Marvin, you say the darnedest things.
I say we work on getting him up to snuff and.
Yeah, I'll just start working on him on the front porch.
All right.
So let's suit up Marvin and get him ready installing all of his armor.
Marvin, your defense is going to get boosted up to a two.
And then it is nighttime.
So essentially, do I get increased physical damage resistance or energy damage resistance
or anything from on my parts?
I gave you a plus one to all physical.
And you also have a defensive two now, which is equally if not better.
Those will all be three and that'll be a two.
Cool.
Maximum maximum HP remains the same.
Yes.
All right.
They would just set up a watch until morning and wait to see what happens.
Take turns alternate to awake to sleep.
Sure, I'll stay up first.
Yeah, works for me.
I mean, you all need sleep.
I don't.
So yeah, we could just set him on sentry mode again.
I'll check the perimeter.
All right.
Thanks, Marvin.
I feel stronger now.
I've got armor.
I'm less scared of everything now.
Yeah, no death clause.
Where what?
Why would you say that?
I was just trying to reassure you.
Oh, man, I was feeling good.
Now I don't feel good.
Well, they definitely won't be in there.
Oh, God, you don't know that.
You don't know that.
I know that for sure.
I'll check the perimeter.
Perimeter secure.
Squirrel!
Every once in a while throughout the night, you guys get waken up.
Quick by flamethrower blast.
Yeah, hearing Marvin's different guns and accessories go off sometimes is a flame that
goes off too close to the house.
Other times, it's an alien fucking atomizer.
Sometimes you just smack in the ground with a baseball bat.
Just anything you can do.
However, you all do get a night's sleep and it becomes morning of June 30th.
Yeah.
It's like I don't need sleep and I'm a robot, but you can see that there's bags under my
eyes just from fear and anxiety.
And as the four of you are standing outside, you see in a very kind of humorous fashion,
the entire house gets lifted up on this vault door and it opens slowly and the house stays
attached to it as it becomes erect and the vault door is open.
Are we going in there guns blazing?
I think we should at least go in there and investigate.
Well, I guess, do you know what vault dwellers are up to?
Actually, no.
Okay.
The complete opposite, in fact, from my experience, whatever they say they're doing is probably
the opposite of what is happening inside of the vault.
So shoot first and trust no one.
Maybe not the shooting part, but trust them to a very tiny amount.
Be on your guard and assume that there are nefarious things in play.
They're nefarious.
They're bad.
All right.
Well, if we want to cut to the chase, this says that the treasure we're looking for is
on level 13.
How many levels did your vault have?
30 dozen, which is 12.
I think that's a regular dozen.
I don't know.
That's just what they call it.
Well, this is a Baker's dozen.
13.
That's where we're going.
Well, I mean, there could be a 14th or 15th.
You never really know what these faults were designed for.
One way to find out together.
Let's go in.
Maybe we'll get lucky and they become less terrifying the lower the number.
And so this is six lower than my old vault.
So six times less terrifying.
Of course, I also have armor and four friends with guns.
So I think this will be a much easier time.
All right.
You guys make your way into the vault.
And for three of you, it's the first time you've ever been in a vault.
It is giant in size.
It's very mechanical.
Marvin, you're intrigued by this.
This is this is what the inside of me looks like.
No, I've been in there, buddy.
No, there is a spot for an elevator and you can hear it making its way.
You hear the mechanical sounds of it making its way up and up.
All right.
I suggest that we all pick a side aimed to the middle and just don't hit each other.
Maybe we take two sides and for the opposite two sides where no one are.
And then and then we will have both sides covered the middle.
OK, I'm going to take this side over here.
I will join you.
Are you hiding or just standing?
I am going to get as close to the elevator as I can because I don't have a gun and I'm
going to hide myself under debris.
Seeing that this is now the thought, I guess I'll try to hide from my understanding.
There aren't really places to hide.
Yeah, there's not too much debris.
It's just kind of like I can't find any debris to hide.
So the house is flipped up.
We could hide two on one side, two on the other.
And then the lift is coming up.
So there's like right.
Oh, there's a platform.
Yeah.
So the vault door opens.
I should have described better.
And there's like a staircase that descends down into the vault where there's like a central
catwalk that leads only to how I should have done a much better job of saying this earlier
that we're hearing the word catwalk.
I would remember.
Yes, I'm sorry.
I did a bad job.
Go down the stairs and there is a essentially catwalk that leads to an elevator.
And you would know this, Augusta, because that's what was at the top level of your vault
as well.
The difference here is this door opens up vertically where most are just stay horizontal.
So probably should be on a platform on each side of the catwalk then.
I feel like one of you two should be available to talk because maybe the ghoul and myself
are going to scare the shit out of anybody who's coming out of the vault.
Yeah.
Yes, I think anyone even in the vault would know a Mr. Handy Robot and perhaps a fellow
vault dweller.
I would have to agree with that.
If not, they would at least recognize the suit of armor you're in.
Potentially.
We shall be the greeting envoy.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
That sounds like a plan.
What's going on?
I mean, for all we know, maybe it's just an empty free ride down and we don't have to
talk to anybody.
Let's find out together.
All right.
You guys, you two hide and let's see what's going on.
Perimeter secure.
As the elevator reaches the first floor here, the first level onto the catwalk, you hear
a rather nasally little man go, stupid, vault door has been on the fritz lately.
What are you doing open, big guy?
We need to get you closed.
And he walks out of the gate and then sees the two of you.
Did you guys open the door?
Yeah, we were just looking to say hello.
We were here when it opened and we waited.
We heard the workings of mechanical parts inside and figured we'd wait if somebody
came up to greet them.
Oh, that's great.
Yep.
OK, just one minute.
Hold on.
I'll yeah, we'll get right in.
And he kind of shuffles over towards this control panel.
Yep.
Can I shoot him?
I'm going to walk.
OK.
Yeah, I was.
Oh, shoot him.
I was just going to hold a gun to his head.
Coolia Roberts is going to act for it.
Oh, God, sorry.
Well done.
We just jumped the gun again.
Big time.
I think we shot the gun, fired the gun.
I have one success.
You shoot this vault dweller.
Why don't you go ahead and roll for damage?
Your vault dweller are very squishy.
Two heads and an explosion.
One shot.
Here, roll the location die to find out where you shoot this poor man.
His right arm.
All right.
You shoot him in the right arm and it spins him in a 360 as blood begins to pour out of
the back with his arm now completely broken where it meets where the arm meets the shoulder
or his shoulders completely shattered.
And he goes spinning down to the ground, no longer reaching for the control panel, and
he begins to scream.
I'm going to jump right out of the mech suit, run over and do some medicine on him.
Try to get my bad folks.
I was aiming to hit him.
Sorry about that, Mr. You did seem like you were about to do something dangerous.
For fuck's sake.
Yeah.
Raiders.
Oh, no, sir.
I am a vault dweller and these are my companions, but I wouldn't use that term.
Destroyer of villagers.
I mean, we can say it, but you can't.
He starts spitting out blood.
Oh, you know what?
I'm just going to keep this for someone that probably won't die.
You know, resources.
Or do you have some more down there?
Because then you can just let us down there and I'll get more after I bandage you.
Let us help you get inside your vault and get you medical attention.
He is still inside the vault.
The control panel is inside the vault, so he's on the catwalk.
So you would be inside it as well.
Yeah.
So let's get you down to is there a medical, do you have a hospital level?
Why don't I have to be against the cough up blood?
We're looking for level 13.
I'm just going to go out, take the initiative, get back in my body suit because I have decided
not to waste supplies on the dying man.
I would like to pick his body up and then move him outside the vault.
And then, all right, guys, now we're going to go down.
We'll just we bump anyone.
We didn't see anybody.
All right.
Right, Guglia?
Oh, I didn't see nothing.
Does he have anything on his person that is useful?
Not really.
Okay, I was just wondering.
Does Guglia want a pit boy?
Pit boy, impact, nine millimeter pistol.
I mean, he does have a pit boy on him.
I have a pit boy now.
Yes.
You cut his arm off?
I mean, I shot it off mostly.
It has a clip last.
His is.
His is sewn in.
His is solid on.
He was born with it.
Yeah.
Maybe it's Maybelline.
You now have a pit boy.
All right.
I don't know what this does, but shall we take that elevator to level 13?
Yes.
Yeah.
Rob these fools blind.
You get in the elevator and there are 12 buttons, numbered one through 12, obviously, levels
three, levels four and levels eight all have just like tape over top of them.
Kind of indicating that you don't go there.
Level two says security.
Level five says dorms.
Six says farm.
Seven says medical.
Nine says dorms.
Ten says dorms.
Eleven says mechanical and 12 says lab.
None of those sound like 13.
Should we take out the security before we head in so they don't trap us down there?
Yeah.
Not a bad idea.
Is the floor labeled security?
Two.
All right.
Well, two is right next door, so we might as well go there.
Let's drop down.
We have an elevator.
We're in the elevator.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Beep boop beep.
You arrive on the floor two and there are.
Maybe Augusta should go first with the big armor and he can have the big gun and.
Oh, I almost thought about disguising you as the guy that we you shot.
Have you walk in?
Have you looked at me?
I'm a ghoul.
Yeah, with a lab coat and a hat on.
But Scare them.
Be like, I stepped outside for five seconds and this happened to me.
Oh, that's not a bad idea.
Look at my skin.
It's all gray.
You do that?
You put on the vault jumpsuit and go into the security room?
Oh, God.
Is that what happens?
No, I didn't want that.
I was thinking we should just go in like bank robbers and be like, nobody touch anything.
Stand in a straight line so we can waste less bullets shooting you.
I'm OK with whatever you guys want.
OK, you head in and there are five vault dwellers on the security floor and.
Nobody touch anything.
It's just a stick up.
Shady.
They kind of look around at each other for a second, seeing the ghoul and the super mutant.
Is the fucking door open?
And they all reach for their pistol.
I swing the bat at the closest one to me.
Roll initiative for everybody.
Mine's 12.
11.
10.
I don't want to give them a chance to pull.
I agree.
I have a pipe wrench.
That's mainly what I just fill the room with fire.
Let me see those damage dice.
I think you should use the gun and not the flamethrower in confined spaces with the rest
of us.
OK.
My mechanic and I'll be fine.
Two out of the five vault dwellers do get the drop on you guys.
However, they all miss completely, sending shots all around the room.
And it is Gullia.
You've got the highest initiative, correct?
Or does Marvin?
Mine's 12.
Gullia, you're up first.
I'm going to grab what looks like the head guy and I'm going to put my gun to his head
and kind of be like, nobody to do anything or I'll blow his brains out.
Nope, I'm just blowing his brains out since Derek.
All right.
Do whatever you want.
Yeah, you do you.
We did come here to take out security.
All right, fine.
I'll grab him and I'll shoot him.
OK.
Shoot first, apologize later.
What gun are you going to use?
Do you have a close range gun?
Yeah, the pipe gun.
OK.
So yeah, you'd have to use that one to accomplish this.
I succeeded once and I crit because I have a tag on small gun.
OK.
So you're going to use the explosion point and then roll your damage.
Five shots.
You blow his brains out.
All right.
You let his body fall limply onto the ground.
And this shocks in horrors all the other vault dwellers who all pulled their guns now on
the four of you.
So now the remaining four all have their guns out.
All right.
I'm going to point my gun at the next person, but that is my turn.
OK.
And then it is either Augusta or Marvin's turn.
Just remember that you shot first.
That is one success, one failure.
OK.
You go ahead and roll your damage.
You've got the Tesla rifle.
They've only got a.
Oh, I was using my ship.
I'm sorry.
Can I switch and use the Tesla?
Yeah, sure.
That's what it's there for.
You didn't specify what gun you were using.
Wow.
I don't think so.
Cool.
I was thinking pistol in my head.
I forgot all about the Tesla.
No, you got the Tesla now.
All right.
That's five bangs and a head.
OK.
And that does arc.
Oh, one shot just drops the whole room.
I mean, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing.
I've it's yeah, I've done it in the game.
I can't wait to go home and play Fallout 4 after this.
I did that.
I built Marvin in game.
Awesome.
Like the Red Rocket.
Like everybody starts their first base is the Red Rocket.
So I've got the robot workbench set up there and there's probably like now like seven or
eight like Mr. Handy variants just fucking popping around my Red Rocket.
Oh, wow.
And they're all like, are you ready to leave?
Are you ready to leave?
Take me with you.
My favorite design for your thing is the thrusters with the you can protect Ron body and the
assault Ron head.
It's just a floating bazooka.
Yeah.
And it opens up and shoots out like a Death Star laser.
Yeah.
But like the one I have right now, there's like the Marvin 2.0.
He's got like instead of three eyes, he's just got the one eye and you can take where
the two eyes are and you can give him arms.
So he's got a Gatling laser and a Gatling gun, the thruster and all of his armor is
decked out as like hydraulic supported.
So he's got like infinite carry weight, bright yellow tractor paint.
Then he has arms and his eyes.
He's only got the one eye, but he's got arms instead.
And still the three like arm.
Yeah, the three arms.
So he's got five arms.
How many successes or how many hits did you do?
Five bangs and a head.
You kill three of these security guards with one hit and they get electrocuted to death
and it's grotesque and their bodies flame and you can smell their flesh cooking from
the inside.
Does anyone ash with a little tinge of ozone?
The middle person is ash and there's one left.
Do we threaten him?
No, it's my turn.
It is Marvin's turn.
I use the alien atomizer.
That's a critical fail and a fail.
Critical fail and a fail.
Is this the first time that you've actually gotten to fire it?
I think I've fought.
No, yeah.
I don't think I fired it at the death claw.
You shot it once.
I thought you shot it once.
Because you missed.
Yeah.
Because you missed.
Okay.
Then yeah, this is the second time firing.
Remember it fired into the ground one time.
Okay.
Yeah, you completely miss that and you actually damage your arm in firing it as well.
So go ahead.
Roll two damage dice.
A head and a blank.
Okay.
You're going to take one damage to your arm and it's going to negate your armor.
Okay.
All right.
So the rest of the security floor is cleared.
All right.
I'm going to go right to the computers.
No, there's still one guy.
Oh, sorry.
Yes, there is still one guy.
Sorry.
Mr. Tallman's like itching to bash somebody's head into death.
You do it like this.
Wait, ask him where floor 13 is.
Get a crit fail.
You got a crit fail.
And a fail.
And you have to, with your bat?
And is your arm the thing you, yeah, uninjured?
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah.
Roll me four damage dice.
As you swing at him with your field dressing to heal your arm, did you get at least one
head?
Three heads.
You break your arm again as you swing this bat and completely miss, shattering it against
one of the terminals and your arm-
Bat's gone too?
The bat breaks, your arm breaks, everything breaks.
It's very painful.
You take two damage.
Now that we've scared them good, we should be able to ask about level 13.
It is their move.
They're gonna just sit there and piss themselves.
I hope they, yeah.
Very dexterously, they make their way, try to get past all three of you to get out of
the room.
And however they're able to do it, they manage to get out of the door and to the elevator.
However, that's as far as they get before it's back to your guys' turn.
I wanna run and tackle them.
Okay.
That's unarmed.
That's strength plus unarmed.
Yes.
I'm gonna spend one to the eagle.
I failed worse.
Okay.
I failed.
I can do that.
You go crashing onto the elevator, but you trip because your leg still hurts from your
previous injury.
You're on the elevator too, but you are prone.
All right.
I'm gonna go right to the security computer and shut down the elevator.
Make me an intelligence and science role?
Yep.
That's two successes.
Okay.
And you're able to temporarily cut power to the elevator.
Perfect.
And I look at tall man and I say, all right, go get them, but don't kill them.
We have to figure out what's going on with the 13th floor.
Marvin's gonna go first.
Okay.
I'm just.
I want to kill him.
He's got a death claw tattoo on his neck.
Death claw under his neck as he lifts up his neck beard.
Yeah.
I'll fly into the elevator and I want to bash his brains in with a baseball bat.
Okay.
Make an attack roll unarmed plus strength.
Yeah, the bat broke.
He's got a bat.
I have a.
Oh, he's got his own bat.
Derek's bat broke.
He's had a bat.
I didn't know that.
Oh, look at that.
It was the very first thing anybody actually used in this game.
And a formal hat.
All right.
Make your attack roll.
Well, I have a success and a critical failure.
Okay.
Cool.
He has a critical success and a critical failure.
I would have those two things cancel each other out.
You just reroll.
No, you just nothing happens.
I don't do any damage.
No, you've critically failed and you're critical.
So I can have you do damage, there'll also be a large penalty.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or you can negate the two and not do anything.
I have Slayer.
When you inflict any damage with an unarmed attack or melee weapon, you may spend one
luck point to immediately inflict a critical hit and therefore an injury on the location
hit.
But I don't want to like lose my bat or anything.
So I'll just take the nerf.
You can spend an action point.
I will spend an action point.
Roll me another die.
Nine.
So, yep.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm going to do a lot of damage.
Baseball bat damage five.
So how much damage did you do?
A head and two shots.
All right.
And I'd like to spend a luck point to make it a critical.
Okay.
You break his leg and he drops down to the ground next to Gullia holding it and crying
now that the elevator did not respond when he was hitting the button and you beat the
shit out of him with a bat.
He's still alive.
I'm going to walk over and pick him up by the back of his lab coat, carry him over to
Augusta.
All right, buddy.
Sorry about the leg.
Marvin.
Well, he doesn't like people that put us in danger.
What's going on with the 13th floor here?
There's no 13th floor.
There's only 12 fucking raiders.
Yeah, no, no, we know how to we know what's going on here for real.
What's the 13th floor?
I don't know what you're talking about.
There's only 12 and he tries to like pull himself towards the nearest other vault.
Well, he tries desperately, but old Thalmann's holding him in place.
Perfect.
How do we get to the overseers?
They'll tell us where 13th floor is.
The overseers would be in the dorms.
Which dorms?
There's a bunch.
I don't know.
Why don't I just kill you?
I don't want that at all.
Well, then where are they?
I think that someone that wants to stay alive would start answering questions.
You're just going to kill all of us anyways.
I saw what you did to my friends.
What experiments are going on in the labs?
There's no experiments.
I don't know what you're talking about.
That's bullshit.
What do you do in the lab?
I'm not in the lab.
I'm in security.
Hey guys.
Not for much longer.
Remember how I was in a vault and I had no idea what was actually happening until I accidentally
found out.
You're in a vault?
You're Brotherhood of Steel.
Well, sort of.
Should we just use the security cameras to see what they're doing on these levels?
We are on the security floor.
Great.
I don't even say anything.
There are no cameras.
Oh.
Well, I wouldn't know that.
That is true.
Julia would have no idea.
Although I guess why would I know about cameras?
I don't know.
It doesn't appear to be any cameras.
All right.
I guess we head down.
Can we seal the vault door before we head down?
I do.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You can do that.
All right.
I'm going to seal the vault door.
And then, yeah.
So do we want to go spot by spot until we find the overseer?
Is that what the note says?
The note says that the overseer will know what's going on.
The overseer has told me to stop telling the other people about the treasure because they
said it's theirs, but it should be everyone's.
That's essentially what it says here.
So we want to round up the whole vault.
We want to go floor by floor.
I don't know.
And that's where we're going to pause for today.
And we will come back and we'll probably finish up.
Next next Tuesday.
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I'm killing Tim here.
I know.
I'm just like, I'm just going to strip.
It came in one big wave.
I was like, all right, it was getting warmer.
Now I'm hot.
Well, like I said, we're getting old.
You're reaching an age, you're getting the flashes, the changes upon you.
They're the worst.
I didn't realize your nipples were out.
And now this has changed.
Did you just see the haystack?
This happened first.
It's getting hot in here now.
You're trying to distract me from killing there.
Somebody's dying.
This camp is gay.
No right now we are on the 13th floor.
That don't make any sense.
No, the real treasure was getting out of the vault.
That would be right in line with the fallout.
Bees, sons of bitches.
Getting the fuck out.
With one hostage.
One lightly used hostage.
Can we call him Todd?
Riley's going to fix it in post anyway.