Welcome, my little critters, to Tales from the Crit Season 2, The Level Up.
We're an actual play podcast with an ever-changing cast of players making our way through a bunch
of different RPG systems, from micro-RPGs to some of the more well-known role-playing
games out there, and the occasional highly narrative tabletop game.
Content warnings can be found in the episode's description.
My name is Riley Groves, and I am the Crit Keeper on this episode of Tales from the Crit.
Previously, on We'll Call Them Pals, Maple, George, and Poplar started getting up to no
good, making trouble in another neighborhood.
Caught in the middle of a professional and personal battle between two rival restaurateurs,
the boys may have done more harm than good to the local townsfolk.
Only time will tell.
They also fought a giant beast from a well, met a scientist, and headed back to the playground,
for some fun in the Thunderdome.
Welcome back to Tales from the Crit.
I am very excited to continue to play this game today, and returning to the table I have
Stefan.
Hello.
Connor.
Ahoy.
And Tim.
Oh, you know it's me.
They sure do, and they're reprising their roles as Poplar, George, and Maple, but before
we do that, we're going to get to know each other a little bit better.
And our question for today is, if you could have any famous singer sing in a party you're
throwing, who would it be?
Tom Waits.
Okay.
Oh, shit, was there more?
I was going to say it could also be a band or like any sort of...
Too late.
Tom Waits.
I think it's a great answer.
All right.
Fantastic answer.
Yeah.
That is a pretty good answer.
Living?
The question I guess didn't have those parameters, so no, it doesn't have to be, I suppose.
We got projection technology.
You can go crazy, man.
Yeah.
I saw Tupac on stage.
I don't know.
I think I'd go with Depenso.
I'm throwing a party?
You're throwing the party.
And they're singing all night?
They're singing all night.
Anything I want?
But it's them singing?
I mean, any of their songs.
Yeah, I would assume.
Oh, they have to sing their songs?
Yeah.
Those are the parameters.
See, I was going to say, because that's the question behind it, because I was going to
say, I'd go with Frank Sinatra, because I would love to hear him sing some Wu-Tang Clan
or something fucking crazy, like some Snoop Dogg.
I thought you were going to be like, yeah.
I thought you were going to be like, I want Donald Duck singing all of Frank Sinatra's
music.
Donald Duck singing all of...
That would be fucking terrible.
That'd be awesome.
Yeah.
I wish I could do a Donald Duck impression just to sing, I did it my way.
You're close, yeah.
Hang on.
I used to be able to do it.
Pretty cool.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Way better than I could do.
Connor, how about you?
Oh man, I didn't think it was a singer-athletic band.
I would probably go with...
It could be a band.
Yeah, Frank Zappa, that'd be pretty cool.
Be at a Zappa performance, especially if it was at a private party that I was hosting,
and his stuff gets pretty weird.
So at some point, I'd like, I would just turn the weirdness up.
We got to wrap it up.
I'm done with these people.
Fucking solid.
Yeah, I was thinking about the Wu Tang once you said it too, but I've always wanted to
have Nathaniel Radcliffe in the Night Sweats play at a party.
I feel like it would just be an overall very enjoyable experience for a lot of people.
Can I change mine?
Did you say Daniel Radcliffe in the Night Sweats?
Nathaniel Radcliffe.
So a totally different person?
It is not Harry Potter.
Okay.
Is it Radcliffe or is it Ratliff?
It might be Radcliffe.
I don't know.
I'm really bad with all of those things.
I figured if I just threw the whole name out there, there's enough pieces...
Definitely close to it.
Oh yeah.
There's enough pieces that other people can put together, do some of the work themselves.
So I would not want to hear Sinatra.
Like that's why I said, if you would sing other songs, I'd do Sinatra.
But if I had to listen to one band play all night, it'd probably be Queen.
Okay.
Yeah, it's a solid answer.
Fuck yeah.
All right.
And with that, let's get into this game.
To the playground.
The playground has some special rules to it.
It is an explorable zone like the other one.
You can check it three times either for items for pals or yeah, that's it.
Or you know, I know you guys have this super duper special plan about a thunderdome situation.
So in that case, have some special rules for that.
You can interact with anything here.
And if you fail a rule, you may attract the attention of somebody else in the playground.
Oh shit.
Probably that guy that lost his Jimmy.
I'm gonna use Ewook in the thunderdome.
All right.
So is that the first thing we're going for?
Yeah, I'm gonna throw out the crick hopper.
Are you guys doing the lure plan as well?
Yes.
So we have an Ewook, a crick hopper and Connor, what are you gonna bring up the seahorn and
a seahorn in the thunderdome already?
Do you want me to just use my lure?
What does the lure do?
Is it gonna do what it says on there?
So I assume from what he said, like we're allowed to investigate an area for like three
rolls.
This says you get three extra uses.
So I'm assuming that would make it so that I would have six and then they would also
still have the three or like maybe it would bring in two pals into the fucking thunderdome.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
So basically with the lure, when you go in and check a place, remember you roll one d20.
If you roll above a 10, you find an item or a pal.
If you roll below, you're shit out of luck.
So with the lure, in this situation, I guess I would let you each roll with advantage for
your check for a pal, if that's what you're trying to do to attract it to the thunderdome.
So I say we can use them one after another, then we'll see how we're doing.
And we're gonna play like we can each just roll once with advantage and that's the three
uses.
Yeah.
Okay.
So yeah, that works.
So climb the thunderdome, throw our pals down in, which one are you choosing?
Choosing the seahorn.
Seahorn.
All right.
Give me two d20 rolls each.
That's an 11.
12.
And a two.
And an 11.
And a 12 and a 13.
Okay.
So everybody passes.
All right.
Cool.
So everybody give me another d20 and we'll find out what crawls into the thunderdome.
15.
17.
8.
And then we'll see.
Either we just made like the worst plan ever or this is gonna be fun.
I mean, if it's a bunch of pals and we can all attack a bunch of them and then get a
bunch of experience and then go talk to a nerd.
Well, don't forget, you have to catch one.
Yeah.
What was her name again?
She still didn't tell us her name.
Maybe she did.
Did she?
I don't think you guys ever asked.
We definitely didn't.
Oh no, we didn't ask.
Between Maples, Stranger Danger and telling her he wants candy.
All right.
Coming into the thunderdome, the first one to pop in is a level six Skeeter flies in
through the bars.
It's looking pretty grossly and gorgeous.
Definitely the largest Skeeter that you guys have ever seen.
From the ground floor also are two pals that you have not seen yet.
They have black and pink speckled bodies.
They're quite bulbous.
They have eight legs and eight eyes.
The nose of a pig and the mandibles of a spider and these are Spiglets and a level six and
a level four Spiglet have entered the thunderdome as well.
Okay, my first reaction was like, we got to kill them.
They look like spiders.
But then I heard the name and now we got to keep them.
It's how awesome is Spiglets.
Are they the size of pigs?
Smaller pigs, yes, but they're probably if you were to lift them up, they're some of
the heavier pals you've ever seen.
Not as heavy as the Bradpole, but like maybe a good solid 80 pounds each.
However, they're very, very quiet and very menacing looking.
Spiglets.
I got a six agility.
I have a two.
I have a nine.
All right.
The Ewook is going to go first and then it is going to be the Seahorn and then it will
be a smattering of wild pals and Crick Hoppers and all that.
Ewook, what you doing?
All right.
Ewook starts stretching his flippered feet as he warms up to use a normal attack drop
kick.
Oh yeah.
Got a five.
So plus my strength would be a 16.
Okay.
And who are you looking to hit?
Oh boy, I didn't think about that part.
It was a mosquito or a pesquito or the...
A skeeter.
A skeeter or a Spiglet.
Two Spiglets and a Skeeter are on the field.
I'm going to go for the flying one.
Okay.
The Skeeter.
Whatever you rolled hits.
Okay.
So one D6 damage.
So I got a two.
And this is a normal attack over a Bug type.
So that does double damage.
Awesome.
So you actually do four.
Seahorn.
The Seahorn is going to use a horn smash at the Skeeter.
That's a 11.
Yeah.
That definitely definitely hits the Skeeter.
All right.
And with my normal type horn smash, we got a three for damage.
So that doubles and does six and you with your horn smash, knock the Skeeter out of
the air and onto the ground and it has been defeated.
Take that.
Everybody gained eight XP.
Leaving just two Spiglets in the field.
Oh, my Crick Hopper leveled up.
Oh, sick.
Doo doo doo doo.
Nice.
I figured I'd mention that.
I'm going to level up in six experience.
So let's smash a Spiglet.
Solid.
All right.
Your Crick Hopper and one of the Spiglets has a tied agility.
So just give me a roll of a D20.
Eight.
No shit.
I rolled a nine.
One of the Spiglets is going to go first.
His agility just went up.
No, no, I know.
Oh, that's why we tied.
Oh, that's what it was.
It was two before.
Oh, right.
Yes.
Yeah, sure.
I mean, that's what it says on the papers.
So yeah.
All right.
The first Spiglet is going to attack your Crick Hopper.
Does a nine hit?
Yes.
Oh, wait.
It's a special attack actually.
So agility does a seven.
Yes.
All right.
So it sends a disgusting goopy pink web out of its rear end and just completely covers
the Crick Hopper.
The Crick Hopper is going to lose its next turn and the next damage you take is going
to be two times damage.
Oh, that's heavy.
It's a spider against a bug.
I'm not surprised.
Then the second Spiglet is going to go and it is going to target the Seahorn and is going
to try to attack.
Does a nine hit?
No, my defense is a 10.
Okay.
For its turn, it covers itself in a bunch of leaves and disappears under the ground
cover.
However, it is not going to hit when it comes back out.
And then we're back to the Ewoks turn.
All right.
I'm going to swing at one of the Spiglets.
Do I notice that one of them has already been hit?
Neither has taken damage.
Okay.
And one's hiding in a hole.
All right.
I see one.
I'm going for that one then.
And I am going to go with my special attack.
So seeing the spider create a trap, Ewok starts digging a pit and uses the move pitfall, which
reduces the target's attributes, all of them.
Oh shoot.
Okay.
It's a special attack.
So that would be my agility, which is nine plus one D six, which is three.
So 12 against your strength.
Yes, that would definitely hit.
Nice.
All right.
So you reduce all of that Spiglets attributes by one.
Correct.
And it is the Seahorn's turn.
And this Seahorn is going to drive its Seahorn with a horn smash rate into that Spiglet.
Eleven?
That hits.
Yeah.
So a one for normal damage.
All right.
The Spiglet that is still visible leaps out to hit the Crickhopper.
Does a six beat your defense?
It attacks with poison strike.
So that's one D six damage.
So you're going to take three.
So six.
Yep.
So you're going to take six total and you're going to decrease your strength temporarily
by two.
Oh, the second Spiglet leaps from its ground cover at the Seahorn.
However, it misses its attack.
And we're back to Ewok.
All right.
Ewok is going to.
Your turn got skipped because you missed your next turn.
Oh, no, you should go.
Yeah, I should have one before him, right?
Sorry.
Because last turn and then the double damage.
Yes.
So I should have one, right?
Yes.
Sorry.
You do.
Oh, yeah.
I don't probably know you're going to hit.
Oh, nine, nine hits.
Yeah.
Oh, come on, Crickhopper.
Do something.
One.
Normal damage.
Right on.
Yeah, my Crickhopper.
This is.
Yeah, this is actually a plant and bug type.
So it gets hit for double damage.
So it took two damage.
Now it's the Ewoks turn.
All right.
So I can't battle and use a Palletrap, correct?
Correct.
I'm going to throw a Palletrap at the lower, the one that looks weaker that we've been
kind of picking at.
Go for the level six.
Wait, this would be our 10th pal.
Yeah, I'll go for the level six.
OK.
16.
All right.
You throw your Palletrap and it bops the Spiglet on the head and all eight of its eyes
look up before it turns into light, lands in the Palletrap, which hits the ground.
It bounces three times and then it settles.
I'm your new dad.
Dad.
That's your fourth pal, though?
Yes.
So at that point, at that point, Maple is going to do what he knows is the right thing
to do, which is to just casually set the rock pet that he has somewhere near a pile of rocks
so that it's discreet.
You're not letting it free, right?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm going to let it...
Wee.
I know.
All right.
We'll let you resolve that in a minute because there is still some fighting happening here.
So Seahorn, it is your turn.
We'll unpack the rock.
Should I try and catch the other one?
I got some weak ass pals over here.
This one has not been hit yet.
So I'd give him in good condition.
Right?
Yes.
Yeah, sure.
I'll throw a paltrap at him.
All right.
Let's see it.
No, that's a six.
The paltrap hits the spiglet and it turns to light, but only for a moment.
And when it hits the ground, the spiglet pops back up, oice, in anger.
And then its mandibles chitter together.
Should have smacked him up more.
And then actually it's the spiglet's turn.
Did you say I was poisoned for two turns?
Just one.
So it begins to exude some more of the sticky web from its back end.
And does a 14 beat the Ewook's strength?
Yes.
All right.
You are covered in this sticky web-like substance and Ewook's agility is going to decrease by
half, rounding down.
Wow.
That's wild.
Not cool.
This is only temporary though.
Just remember.
So as soon as you're out of this battle, it'll return back to regular.
And now it's the crick hopper's turn.
So poison wears off for it?
Yep.
Okay.
Cool.
Yeah.
I'm just going to do the pinch attack.
That's a six.
Yeah.
That beats the spiglet's defense.
Those things are weak.
Tim just got one.
Two normal.
Okay.
So it's actually going to do four.
But its poison ability seems pretty awesome.
That web slang ability seemed pretty freaking annoying.
We're back to the Ewook's turn.
Okay.
I'm going to throw another pal cube there.
Pal trap.
Okay.
Yeah.
I got a four.
Unfortunately, your pal trap hits it, barely turns it into light before the thing materializes
again on the ground.
Seahorn.
What do you think guys?
Should I just try and destroy this one?
Or do you want to lend me a trap, Maple?
Oh, I definitely have a trap for you.
We're going to try once more.
Okay.
Oh, that was a 17 before I flipped back over to that seven.
That hurt to watch.
Is that your last collective pal trap?
No.
I still have one.
All right.
The pal trap captures the spiglet and it hits the ground.
And after two shakes, the spiglet breaks free, destroying the trap.
What a monster.
It's the spiglet's turn actually.
I hope it gets one and kills itself.
I'm just going to attack it again.
Oh, I think I still want to kill myself.
That's actually a 20 for a special attack against the Seahorn.
Oof.
Damn.
A special attack?
Yeah.
Does that beat your strength?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
All right.
It shoots a big globby piece of web at your Seahorn, completely covering it.
And you are going to lose your next turn and the next damage you take is going to be times
two.
If you take damage before your next turn though, you won't miss it.
So there's that.
Is this real Thunderdome?
Because if there can only be one, I'm going after George.
I think it's just in the idea of pal v. pal.
I don't think we're going after each other.
Oh, okay.
Thank you for clarifying that because otherwise I was going to go after George because there
can only be one.
In reality, I would say that your Krakhopper is probably not the one.
He's like half defense and fucking double damage.
But we're the three brothers that, you know, are adults now, so we're not attacking each
other.
I mean, families do fight.
Yeah, in the Thunderdome, but not-
This is the Thunderdome.
No.
There can only be one.
One next to one next to one more.
Oh, so we just have to win.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
This is more of about the whole family thing.
This is about capture versus the world.
Oh yeah, because you guys have the same last name as me.
I forgot about that.
Yeah, actually for this season, it would be, it would be pal world, capture the world as
the subtitle to the season.
Wouldn't it be like capture the palmon?
Captured the pals in the world, the pal world, capture the pals in the world of captures
in the pals of the world of captures.
What captures versus the palmon?
All right, I'm just going to attack the-
Yeah, the wild spigot's just like kind of looking around at the three of you guys now
not doing nothing.
I'm going to attack.
Seven to hit.
Seven hits.
Four damage.
Well, no, not four max, just four overall.
He rolled it.
I rolled it too.
Okay.
Because it's using that pinch tag.
Because that's the only thing that it can do to fucking do damage.
All right.
Trainer maple.
I see my moment and I take it.
I throw a pal trap.
Let's see it.
I thought he was going to attack you.
I see my moment and I take it.
Lucky 13.
Lightning 13.
Pal trap hits and the spigot kind of curls up a little before turning into light and
then it goes into the box and the box hits the ground and shakes once, then twice, then
a third time before it sells and the spigot is yours.
Captures take over the world.
Here we go.
We win Thunderdome.
So everybody takes 18 more experience on top of all that.
All right.
Here are all three pal traps that I used.
We have 10 pals now, all right?
11, I believe.
Anything with you releasing your rock?
Oh, that would be 10.
That levels up the seahorn to level six.
My Ewok just went up to level seven.
Damn, that's awesome.
I just have to figure out how all the math works because I keep losing.
I'm not looking at the right chart.
That's why.
Two overall plus one each, right?
Two health and then plus one to one of these.
Oh, it's only to one?
Oh no, I don't level up again.
I forgot that the original 40 is spent.
So I have to cross it out and start over.
So I am actually at 18.
Or we could say that you didn't use the bucket of chicken until...
Oh, right.
I used the bucket of chicken.
I didn't use my points.
So I just used my points now.
The points you had on the creature before.
Right.
The points that I had previously.
So far I only used the bucket of chicken to level up from five to six.
So that's just automatic.
That doesn't get rid of my experience, right?
We did have a conversation about this, but that would...
Using the bucket of chicken on the pal puts it back to zero from where it was.
So it does erase progress.
So what he's saying is he didn't feed the chicken.
I will allow you to not use it yet if you want, unless it's changed the past fight.
Probably didn't.
No, it wouldn't really have.
No.
Like your pal wouldn't have gone unconscious.
Yeah, no, my agility didn't really change or anything.
Everything was pretty normal.
So yeah, no, it wouldn't have made any difference.
Even the HP, I didn't actually get any damage.
So it wouldn't change any of the statistics there.
Okay.
So if anybody else wants to do the same thing, I will allow that as well.
I'm sorry.
I heard when you said that when it levels up, when you use your points, they're all gone,
but I didn't understand it was going with the chicken bucket.
That's all right, my man.
Yeah, I'm going to use my chicken bucket now after I have leveled up the Seahorn.
I still have 12 extra XP, but I can sacrifice those for the quick level up.
So I didn't read the instructions super properly when it came to leveling up.
I thought it was one across the board for all the attributes.
It's one picked attribute.
Super juiced one of your pals.
Yeah, my squirrel was like super juiced and I was like, yeah, fuck yeah.
Like this thing's got like 10 defense, 10 attack, 10 agility.
Can't wait.
And then it's like, nope, you misread your instructions.
It's that parenthesis.
Yeah.
Level ups, our moves reset too, right?
Yeah.
Everything resets when you level up.
So what's your Seahorn at now?
Level seven with 19 health, nine strength, 10 defense and seven agility.
All right, sick.
I feel like you hate your Turducken, like with a passion, man.
No, I use it for specials.
It's most like, that's like a support creature.
So like I remember I used it for the log thing.
Yeah, I think so too.
All right.
That's going to be a nice one for inside of the gym.
That's going to be like my first pullout for the gym.
You do have two more things you can do here in the playground.
It's on YouTube because I did mine.
If you want to consider it like that.
Oh yeah, no, I'm down with that.
Unless we're continuing a Thunderdome excursion and then I guess we're all going to roll at
the same time.
I mean, I felt like that would be the thing to do again.
Just grind an XP.
Yeah, I'm down with that.
Yeah, I want to get, I'm going to see if Ewok has a second level.
Okay.
Lure.
All right.
And then we're going to look for some fights.
Thunderdome.
Two.
16.
Six.
So you used a lure.
Yeah.
So roll twice and we'll take the highest.
20.
Do I need to roll again for 16?
Oh, you got a 16.
I thought you rolled a six.
Nat 20.
16.
Nat 20.
Two Nat 20s and a 16.
Dude, we don't have any fucking traps.
You have to fight humans.
No.
You rolled too good.
It's the guy that left the Jimmy's going to come out of the playground.
Hey, what are you kids doing over there?
We're not kids.
It's the captures versus homeless man.
I got these new little rubber punching hands here and I'm going to slap you in the face
for both of them, you see.
All right.
So you rolled 20s, I'm going to ask, do you want three creatures to come out that are
all similarly leveled or do you want two creatures to come out that will be higher level?
Yeah, just roll a dice.
Just roll a dice.
Five.
I got a six.
So that means higher level creatures.
I interpret their dice rolls.
Okay.
All right.
There you go.
I like it this way.
Oh, and then just so the listeners are aware, as I obviously now have five of these pals,
the rock pet is going to go back to the pal center storage as well as the lowest level
of the spiglets, which is a level four.
You're not letting your rock pet free?
We don't have time.
We're in the middle of a battle.
Besides, I don't want to catch him again since we're throwing lures.
That would be funny.
It's agility is three.
I mean, it's a rock.
My Crick Hopper's agility is three.
And what?
Do you keep using it?
I used it to level it up and now I'm probably not going to use it again for a wheel.
Let me put it in a different light.
My loglet is agility 12, strength 12, defense 12, HP 30, level 10.
I mean, it's just-
Yeah, your loglet's a level 10, dude.
Yeah.
I mean, when I get to level 10, I'm not having 30 HP.
So I'm going to say this.
I think you jacked up on your Bucket-O-Chicken because you already had a level 10 fucking
pal.
And if you would have bucket a chicken to it, it would have gone to form two.
No, that's from level nine to level 10.
This already is a level 10 and form two.
The loglet.
The loglet is the evolved form, excuse me, the level up to form of leaflet.
Did we ever fight a leaflet?
I think so.
Yeah.
I think somewhere around zone one or two.
It was right in the beginning of the zones.
I don't remember.
Areas.
God, I keep using the wrong fucking words.
It's hard to remember.
Isn't the English language fun?
Isn't trying to stay in a copyright free zone fun?
It's more, we're just trying to be very respectful of everyone's intellectual rights.
Making their way into the Thunderdome, a loglet actually rolls itself one end over the other
and slides in and loses a level 10 and then leaping gracefully through the bars is a level
eight bubcat.
I don't know what that is, I don't need that.
Oh, the bubcat.
Have you guys not seen one before?
I think we have seen the cat before once, like a trainer had it maybe.
I don't know if we've seen a wild one.
It is a black and white cat.
It has a very menacing look on its face.
Its teeth are very pointy and it is wearing a sparkly wizard's hat.
Yes, because I wanted to steal the hat.
We have seen one of these before.
All right, let's go down.
Who's got the highest agility?
The loglet has 11.
I have seven.
I'm using the buzzyl and the buzzyl has four.
I'm using the ewook who has nine.
Okay, so the loglet is going to go first.
I just realized I wrote, I had gained 18 experience in my loglet and instead of writing plus 18
I wrote experience 18 plus.
That is the wrong interpretation of what is happening.
Okay, does a 16 beat the ewook's strength?
Oh, yeah.
The loglet blusters up a bunch of leaves and sends them at the ewook's face and your agility
is going to be, or your accuracy is going to be impaired on your next attack.
Okay.
And I believe it is the ewook's turn.
All right.
I'm going to use pitfall.
Special attack reduces all of the target's abilities.
So it is going to be my pal's agility, which is nine plus one D six, which is a six, so
15 versus your strength.
And which one, the loglet or the bubcat?
Oh, bubcat?
Okay.
Yeah, that does beat, well, it beats all of its stats.
So it takes a minus one to all of its attributes.
And the bubcat leaps forward at the furl and begins to attack with all four claws using
kitten men's and it attacks for a 13.
Does that hit?
Oh yeah.
Those things got super weak defense.
We don't have any pals, huh?
We don't have any, not pals, pal.
No, we don't have any pals.
So we're just here to kick some ass.
Yep.
All right.
So it does damage and reduces your defense by one.
For the battle?
Yeah, until the battle's over or, you know, you use it.
The bubcat's dead.
So your agility is a seven.
So you're going to go next and then it's going to be the buzzyl's turn.
Awesome.
I'm going to use the char attack against the loglet for a 13 to hit.
13 hits, yeah.
Two damage.
That's what I rolled.
And that's a fire move, right?
Yeah.
It's a four damage, right?
Yeah.
So I'm going to use the char attack against the loglet.
And that would make it the buzzyl's turn.
I'm going to just have to go with a shocker attack on the bubcat.
I got a 10 to hit.
10 hits, yeah.
And then that's two electrical damage.
Okay, solid.
Now it is back to the loglet's turn.
It's going to launch mushroom missiles at the Ewook.
Does an 18 beat your defense?
Oh, yes, by more than double.
Okay, it does eight damage and you're going to reduce your strength by one.
Y'all are punching up on these ones.
These guys are a little bit tougher.
Let's get the big three.
Get the big two.
Well, luckily it is just the big two and not a three, I guess.
Three might have been easier.
Overall, like level fours or twos.
But then would we have gotten sufficient amount of experience to make us prepared for the
strong boys?
Oh, I fucked up.
You can use your turn by switching them out.
Actually, I'm going to do that.
So it is the Ewook's turn.
Ewook is going to do a...
I'm not feeling very confident in this.
You can switch out your mons to your pals.
Yeah.
I am.
I'm going to take my turn to swap out my pal here.
I'm going to take the Ewook out of play and put the loglet into play.
Okay.
And that'll be your turn.
And then it will be...
Well the Turducken is on the field.
Oh, not yet.
It's still the furl's turn.
Yeah.
My furl will be coming back and my Turducken will be going out.
So that's my turn.
Okay.
So the bubcat raises its fur up on the back of its neck and shoulders and begins to purr
loudly and kind of like goes down into a nice stretch.
And then when he comes back out, he looks leaner and meaner than he did before.
And it is going to boost its own strength by one.
And now it would have been the furl's turn.
So you're going to switch out to your Turducken on your turn?
Yeah.
So it's the buzzyl's turn.
All right.
The buzzyl is going to try and attack the loglet with the shocker attack.
Does a 10...
No.
A 10 does not hit.
I should have attacked the cat.
Womp womp.
Back to the loglet's turn.
Hey, Maple, what's your loglet's strongest move?
1d8.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
As far as like singular move with no reason other than base damage.
The loglet lets out several very sharp leaves and they fly hitting the Turducken for four
damage on the assumption that an 18 hits.
Okay.
All right.
Now back to your turn.
My loglet is going to have some vines that come up to form some compressed leaves that
shoot toward the other loglet.
Okay.
Doing a...
Using deconstructed paper cut, which is a plant attack.
It would do 14.
A 14 hits.
Yeah.
Cool.
It slid from a four to a one.
Okay.
So one damage.
Woo.
Woo hoo.
One step at a time.
Yeah.
Chipping away.
That is the correct term for it.
All right.
After that, it would be...
It was your turn originally or does the bobcap go before you?
My old thing was a seven.
Yeah.
So the bobcap goes before you.
It begins to roll around on the ground looking extremely overstimulated.
And when it comes back up, it looks more mischievous, menacing and angrier than ever.
However, it does not do anything else on its turn.
Now it would be the Turducken's turn.
Yeah.
So I'm going to use a charge against the leaf, the log.
What's charge do?
Charge special attack reduces targets accuracy.
Okay.
So it's 13.
Yeah, that hits.
So its accuracy is going to be impaired.
And now it is the Buzzil's turn.
Buzzil is going to launch an electric attack with the shocker at the cat for an 11.
An 11 hits.
And that's six damage.
All right.
Do I get to explode that and do more damage?
Yes, yes.
It's a crit.
Yeah.
Finally, you guys did some good damage.
And a four more damage.
That's 10 total damage.
So the shocker hits and it definitely lights this little bubcat up and his several of his
hairs are like burning.
And it's that very cartoony thing where you see his skeleton for a moment when he gets
shocked.
Excellent hit by the Buzzil.
The cat wasn't ready for the shocker.
It wasn't.
And the loglet is going to sprout a bunch of mushrooms and it aims towards the Turducken.
Does a 13 beat the Turducken's defense?
Yeah.
Okay.
So that's two damage when those mushrooms hit.
However, you are going to have your strength reduced by one as well.
And now it is Maple's loglet's turn.
All right.
Loglet is going to use mushroom missiles.
Or attempt to.
That is 17 on the other loglet.
17 definitely hits.
And one D8.
So that'd be a four of plant damage plus reduce the target strength by one.
All right.
A good hit.
The loglet is still looking pretty good.
The bubcat is not so much.
How red is the bubcat's turn?
He's going to leap at the Buzzil with his little kitten mittens ready and tries to attack
with all four claws.
Does a 14 hit?
Yes.
Okay.
Because he is overstimulated.
He's going to do double damage.
So he is going to do six damage through his kitten mittens.
And it is the Turducken's turn.
How bad's the cat?
Looking really pretty bad.
I just 10 on my last turn to it.
The Turducken's going to furiously peck the cat.
That's a four to hit.
Oh, well, 10.
10 to hit.
10 hits.
Yeah.
Ooh, four.
Four.
Three.
All right.
You do 11 damage, which is critical damage to it.
And the bubcat drops his little wizard hat, falls off his head, and then both dematerialize
into a strange light.
You just watched a bird kill a cat.
Surreal.
And you're each going to gain 11 XP from that one.
And the loglet is still left.
My Turducken just leveled up.
My Buzzil just leveled up.
Solid.
Yeah, it would be the Buzzil's turn.
All right.
Now that he's a little bit stronger, the Buzzil's going to attack the loglet.
Does a 10 hit?
It does not.
Shucks.
It is the loglet's turn.
Isn't your attack eight?
I rolled a two.
Yeah.
Okay, does a 17 beat your loglet's defense?
Yes.
Okay.
It sends a deconstructed paper cup back your way for five plant.
But then it is your turn.
You want me to boost?
Well, if I boost yours, then I'm getting off the field.
Yeah, it's taken a whole turn to boost.
What does it boost all?
What does your Sparkle do?
Boost all abilities, attributes.
So it would make you a nine, seven, and...
I am going to use deconstructed paper clip right back.
So that's a six that I just rolled.
So 18.
Yeah, that definitely hits.
Now I'm going to roll another six so I can go critical.
It hits a two.
So close.
Just sending paper cuts back and forth.
Turducken.
I'm going to switch out for my Crick Hopper.
Back to the Crick Hopper.
Wow.
Okay.
There is a reason.
When you take XP next from this, it's going to be split up between the two.
Or if this one gets knocked the fuck out, all of that will go towards, or whoever you
put back on the field.
Turducken.
Yeah, I got what you're saying.
Okay.
So then it is the Buzzil's turn.
All right.
Let's go and try again.
Is it strength 12 or 13?
Right now its strength is 11.
11.
Okay.
So I have an eight strength.
I can do it.
Okay.
I'm going to try and attack it.
You got this.
Three.
Eight.
Eleven.
All right.
Yeah.
Yes.
And three damage.
All right.
Let's go Buzzil.
I know it may not feel like you're doing much or hit much, but I will say that you've done
a lot of damage so far in this battle.
And it feels slow, but it doesn't change the effectiveness.
It's working.
Even at a fucking like max roll to hit, my creature can't hit it.
Oh no.
Can't wait to hear what your plan is.
Does an 18 beat your strength?
Yes.
Yes, it does.
Yeah, I thought so.
The loglet sends a bunch of leaves your way, blustering them up from the ground.
Your accuracy is going to be impaired on your next attack.
Okay.
And then it is the other loglet's turn.
All right.
Loglet starts sprouting some mushrooms that start to launch their way over toward the
other loglet.
13.
It does beat its defense.
All right.
I think actually your loglet and my loglet will always hit each other because they have
the same.
It should work that way.
Yeah, it should.
I rolled a six, but I'm supposed to roll a D8.
Five.
No, that's pretty cool.
So we're respectable damage.
And then reduces target strength by one.
Excuse me.
Okay.
It's one.
And it is the crick hopper's turn.
All right.
So I'm going to use the Screech of Dismay.
It reduces targets AG by one.
Okay.
Yeah, that's five.
You win.
Yes, I do.
Yes.
Yes, the loglet does.
It is unaffected.
And now it is the Buzzyl's turn.
Okay.
I wish we could have used your squirrel, dude, to light my log on fire and just roll my log
into the other loglet.
I kind of just want to put like my bug in front of your log so that it just hits the
bug rather than the log.
Because literally, even if I roll max, I don't think I hit.
I'm going to go with the electric attack.
Okay.
Nice.
Of the shocker.
Shocking.
On the loglet.
And I got a one plus an eight.
So a nine.
A nine does not hit.
Darn it.
Does my accuracy go back to normal now?
It does.
Yes.
Any accuracy unless otherwise stated only affects for one turn.
What's its defense?
12.
Does the 16 beat the Crick Hopper's defense?
No, no.
Yeah.
How much damage?
Hold on.
It sprouts tiny little mushrooms, which it launches at you for seven damage.
And Crick Hopper's dead.
Bummer.
Loglet is going to attempt to use deconstructed paper cut.
Vines start stretching and shooting out leaves that compress.
And that would be an 18.
That hits.
Yep.
And another six.
All right.
Blow that shit up.
And a two.
So eight damage.
This log is looking really pretty run down and beaten.
Who are you throwing in next?
Furl.
Okay.
Mr. Squeakers.
Your furl goes in.
That's going to be its turn.
And now it is up to the buzzy.
All right.
Back to normal accuracy here.
Fry that log.
We got a 10 to hit.
10 does not hit.
I thought your strength was down to a 10.
The strength is a 10.
His defense is a 12.
Oh.
Shit.
Mm-hmm.
And it is going to send for a 13 deconstructed paper cut at the buzzy.
Oh boy.
However, it only does one damage, but it is a plant versus a water type, right?
Electric water type.
Yes.
Electric water type.
So it's only going to do two damage.
A very ineffective paper cut.
Maple, your loglet.
Did you say plant against water?
Yes.
Oh, my chart says strong.
Plant is strong against water.
Yes.
That's why I did double damage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you said half.
I was...
No.
Sorry.
If that is what I said, I apologize, but it would do double damage.
I've also just been reading about when damage is halved, so there's a strong chance that
my brain just threw that right on there.
End is your turn.
Sick.
We're going to do the same thing.
We're going to go for that deconstructed paper cut.
13.
13 hits.
Six.
All right.
You blow that shit up too.
Two.
Eight damage.
This log deflates almost and materializes into a light and disappears, and each of you
are going to gain 11 XP.
All right.
So would that be seven to one and six to the other?
Sure.
Well, because you said they split, right?
Correct.
Five and a half to one.
We're going to take a quick break to listen to an ad for another show on the Wolfbeard
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Where's everybody at now with their pals' levels and stuff?
I've got a...
You've got a level 10, so you've got a ways to go.
42.
What level is the buzzy?
The buzzy is level four.
All right, solid.
And it has 17 experience to go before it's level five.
17.
Wow.
Okay.
I don't want to do the Thunderdome again.
You said you don't want to do the Thunderdome?
No, I need to heal.
Maybe I can look around for items, but I don't know what kind of items would.
Maples Europe for whatever we're doing in this area.
Oh, I definitely don't want to Thunderdome again.
I just see if I see any pals.
Or items, excuse me, items.
I'm looking for items from the top of the Thunderdome.
Okay.
I see anything in the grass.
From the top, I will give you advantage on your check.
So go ahead and roll two D20.
Nat 20 and an 18.
Fuck yeah.
Do you find something better than...
You do spot something.
You find a gun.
It was right there next to the swing set the whole time.
Honestly, if you look at what we just did, we made an animal fighting ring as children
and stood above it and watched animals fight to the death.
I mean, there's a huge controversy whether pals are actually animals.
We watched pals fight.
They're not animals.
Animals aren't...
Are they even in this world?
It's what they like to do.
They fight anyway.
I know.
I'm just saying we literally...
Yo.
It's not like we forced them.
They came over on their own accord.
They also fought...
We forced these ones, but that's different.
What if we sold tickets to events like that?
What if we made this an event?
You mean you want to get some of the local Rapscallions involved in this underground Thunderdome
league?
First rule of Thunderdome, we don't talk about Thunderdome?
Yeah.
We can make a fight club.
We're never leaving Chillyville, which is soon to be Wingville because Chilly's going
to go out of business.
Talking about fight clubs and all the things you're going to start here, you do spy a couple
things in and on the ground that you didn't see before.
One is a pair of boxing gloves and the other is a very handy square belt clip.
So useful.
Wow.
What'd you find there, Maple?
What you got?
It looks like I can always hold onto four pals now with my new belt clip.
It gives me some extra room.
And I think I get to teach one of my pals a new move.
Super pal punch.
Hmm.
What's the rule of change to the attack?
Does it change it?
Does it change or does it add on to existing?
So it'll either, if you have four, it will replace one.
If you have less than four, then it just gets added on.
Okay.
Let's see.
Loglet has four.
Ewok has four.
And the big spider has four as well.
Hey question, what does it do?
The super pal punch is a normal attack.
It's 1d8 damage and it reduces the target's defense by one.
And it does a...
Buy that from me for 20 bucks.
You have five of them.
That bouncy ball I found earlier also gives a pal a new ability where it can learn the
bouncy ball move, mega bounce, where you can bounce way up in the air and then come crashing
down on your enemy for 1d6 damage.
And you stay aloft for one turn before coming down.
So you don't take damage.
That's cool.
That is very cool.
While Maple is making the decision, what about Poplar and George?
We're just playing around on the playground while he's over doing what he's doing, right?
If you're playing on the playground, make me an observation roll.
10.
A three.
Does anybody have any of their pals out still?
Loglet's out.
The buzzy loglet's still out.
Okay.
Buzzing around.
Very strange to see a water creature just buzzing around on the playground.
It is staring at the swing set longingly.
Oh yeah, my furl said it wanted to play around, so that would be running around.
I would have let it finally get some fun after coming at Chilly.
You're gonna let it play on the playground?
Yeah.
Okay.
Your furl gains 10 XP.
What?
Because that was nice to it?
Yeah.
Bring the buzzy over towards the swing set.
Do you put it on a swing?
I'm gonna put it on a swing.
Okay.
It planks pretty much when it's on there, and you send it swinging.
It has a look of utter jubilation on its face as it too gains 10 XP.
I have loglet.
This is obviously not gonna work.
Breaks the swing.
What about your...
I mean, you could try, but...
That'd be funny.
Give me an observation roll.
Actually, let me see something.
14.
You notice that there's two peculiar holes on loglet, and both of them are pointed towards
the spinny mario go round thing, although it does not have eyes.
So you're not entirely sure if it's actually looking at it or if you're just anthropomorphizing,
anthropopalphizing this.
Loglet, do you wanna go play on the playground somewhere?
It does a full barrel roll.
Well, I'll follow you.
Lead the way.
And it rolls over to the mario go round.
All right.
And from here, it's up to you, because you are way bigger than me.
It hobbles one end up and then hops the other one over, and it just sits in the middle of
the mario go round.
Nice.
Let me give us a spin for you.
As you spin it, it looks happier than you've ever seen this loglet, and it too gains 10
XP.
Right on.
Bro, I don't know if I'm gonna use the punching gloves, because I was thinking about throwing
them on the turdak.
It's a tough one.
Well, you can throw it on the squirrel.
Yeah, the squirrel already has claws, though.
So it's the same damage.
I have four on every one of them, and I don't see any that I really wanna replace, which
is why I'm kind of willing to pass on the boxing gloves to someone else.
The squirrel's only got three.
Throw it on there.
It's a free potential eight damage, and it's normal damage.
What's your squirrel?
Fire and normal.
Eh, it fits the print pretty well.
See, I was thinking about throwing it on a loglet or something random that didn't have
normal attacks, just to like...
Well, I was thinking about throwing it on my turdak, because the turdak's only got a
peck attack, which is a 1d4, and I was like, oh, more damage, but then it's like, that's
got 20 uses, this has only got five, and then it's like, oh, looks like that's gonna be
nothing but a support character.
Yeah, it's hard to get rid of any of those high number attacks.
I'll think about it.
We all gonna go to the PAL Center and heal now?
George and Poplar still have a turn as you search for PALs, so you guys can still do.
Um...
Item.
Still look for items, or...
Yeah, sure, I'll look for some more items.
I mean, I guess I could fight more PALs and get some more experience, but this one could
level up, but it's pretty hurt.
That's true, I feel like we could do the experience.
You know what?
I'm gonna use a sports drink.
Oh, God.
I can use items, because we're at knock-and-com, right?
Yeah.
I'm gonna use a sports drink to bring my Buzzeel back up to full health.
Okay.
Of 12.
And I'm gonna teach it the bouncy ball move, mega bounce.
The Buzzeel's gonna mega bounce?
The Buzzeel's gonna mega bounce.
Dude, fuck yeah, I wanna see that.
All right.
I wanna see that.
All right, so what are you two doing?
I'm gonna look for a fight.
Look for a fight?
So are you looking for a PAL?
I'm looking for a PAL, yeah.
All right.
Do we have two more turns to do stuff, or just one?
Like, is this my last one?
So this would be your last one, because we counted Thunderdome as one turn for everybody.
Okay, yeah.
So then I am gonna, yeah, look around for a PAL.
I got a five.
Okay.
Are you looking from the top of, sorry, are you looking from the top of the, no, you were
playing, nevermind.
I was playing on swings, yes.
I was looking from the top, the apex of the swing set.
That's gonna use that word.
Okay, if you're looking from the apex of the swing set, go ahead and give me a roll of
advantage.
18.
All right, solid.
That's what you get for being an apex predator.
Poplar, do you wanna say what you're doing now, too?
I was gonna, I was actually gonna see if there's any people around, like, rather than just
a wild PAL.
Okay.
Because there might, no, two.
So anytime you fail a check to look around in the playground, actually, you do find a
trainer.
So we'll resolve, we'll resolve George's thing first.
You're old and 18, right?
So you found a PAL.
I got jumped by some random person on the fucking playground.
Pretty much.
And I found self-defense weapons.
And you found a pair of oxy gloves.
Did you use them?
Are you gonna use them?
If not, I'll take them back.
Yeah, you can keep them for now.
All right, a wild Spiglet appears in front of you, George, and it is actually at level
eight.
Oh shit.
What is the Buzio's agility?
Four.
I've not been putting any points in agility.
All right, so you and I are actually going to have to roll to determine who is going
first.
Two.
All right, the Spiglet got an 11, so it is going to go first.
It begins to formulate this mucousy web out of its asshole.
S-end.
And it shoots it at your Buzio.
It had too much Pepto Bismol.
I'm wondering why they're pink.
Is it like bacon string?
Oh, it's all the Pepto Bismol.
Does an eight beat your strength?
An eight is my strength.
So the roll goes to the tagger.
Yes.
I thought it went to the...
It always goes to the player.
Yeah, right.
The Buzio gets smacked with some of this pig web, and it wraps around, and it is going
to decrease your agility by half, rounding down.
Remember, you can always call for help as well if you want it.
But it is your turn.
All right.
I'm going to do a mega bounce.
All right.
Does a nine hit?
It does.
Okay.
So you'll hit on your next turn.
So for the Spiglet's next turn, you are essentially gone.
So I come down for four damage.
All right.
A solid hit.
The Spiglet is then going to try to do the same thing that you did in a different way.
Does a nine hit?
Yes.
The Spiglet goes underground cover and completely covers itself in some foliage nearby, making
it invisible.
And on its next turn, it is going to spring out and attack.
But for its current turn, it cannot be attacked, as you don't know where it is.
Hey, guys.
I'm in a fight over here.
Do you want to come help?
Yes.
Stop on this pig spider?
I'll be right there.
Wait a minute.
Can I use the mega bounce and fly away when he's not here and then come back and hit him
when he comes out of his hole?
Absolutely.
That's a classic fly versus dig scenario.
I'm totally doing that.
Sorry.
I didn't even think.
That's all right.
13.
That definitely hits.
So your buzzy rolls itself into a ball and bounces up high into the sky.
When the Spiglet jumps out to attack, there is nothing there.
Just then the buzzy comes flying back down from the sky for four damage.
All right.
Another fucking good, good hit.
The Spiglet gathers up a ton of pig web at its rear end and shoots it your way or the
buzzy way.
Does a six beat your strength?
No.
It turns a globby mess of pig web flying straight past your buzzy.
Oh, that was close.
End is your turn.
All right.
I'm going to use the electrical attack shocker.
I have an 11 to hit.
That hits.
Oh, it's a six.
Critical.
All right.
It's nine damage.
You hit this Spiglet with the shocker and its eight legs go out to the sides in electrical
bolts and it drops to the ground and fades away.
And you are going to take 12 XP.
Nice.
Now I'm level five.
All right.
And then that leaves Poplar.
Go ahead and roll me a D6, my friend.
Let's find out who you find in the tall grass.
Six.
Fucking eight.
That's awesome.
You hear you hear and you wonder how you didn't see them or see him before a very tall person
in a trench coat come walking your way.
And as they're walking towards you, all you hear is whoa, whoa, as like their bottom half
and their top half seem to be disjointed.
And then wandering up to you is three kids that are clearly stacked on top of each other
in a trench coat.
Three children in a trench coat.
My furl's already out and running around.
They throw their pal out as well.
And hitting the ground in front of you is a Lavamander, a very large Lavamander.
And you would know that this is the same creature that works at pigs or at Wings Pop.
This is not the same one, but this is the same type of pal as the one that is the head
chef over at Wings Pop, and it lets out a large fireball into the air as it hits the
ground.
I should fucking get those box of clothes.
Should we run over to help?
I got this.
Someone should run.
I should.
I'm going to fight it.
If I need to call for help, I'll yell for help.
I'll be around.
If we all fight, do we all get the same amount of experience?
That's Rainer.
That's the way we've been doing it.
Yeah, we should help.
What's the agility?
12.
Here, I'm going to see if I can.
Okay, so you would go first.
He wants to go first?
No, no, no, you would go first.
Then I'm going to scream for help.
And then I'm going to scream stranger danger for these two to fucking run over.
Okay.
I think my fucking throat.
Please yell those exact words.
Stranger danger.
Stranger danger!
I need an adult.
Fuck.
You can always need an adult, even if you are an adult.
Like a dentist, mechanic.
Two situations that I know of where I hope they're an adult.
Barber.
It would be preferred.
You don't need a haircut.
Yeah.
It would be preferred if it was an adult.
I don't know.
Hayden cut my hair.
If she's going to say a kid can give a haircut, that means it can be a good one.
Yeah.
I'll just think about scissors near my ears.
Why the hell would you give a child scissors next to your face?
Exactly.
I don't think it should be a child.
It should be an adult.
This lava mander, the fire around its toes flares up and it has like steam geysers that
begin to spray steam into the air before those flare up as well.
And it looks like it pumps itself up as this red energy kind of flows into it and all the
fires around it grow and it becomes a deep shade of red.
And you can even see, you know how like sometimes in movies when like a dragon's about to spit
its fire, like the stomach area or the throat kind of glows red.
That is what this thing is doing.
But it is your turn.
Hey guys, stranger danger.
Help, help, help.
He's got fire.
Free candy.
I'm definitely going over there.
Candy, candy.
I need an adult.
I'm an adult.
All right.
Who are the two of you throwing into the fight?
Seahorn.
All right.
Back in action.
Because the buzzy doesn't know any one.
Definitely not.
So I'm going to throw out Ewok.
Okay.
You're gonna throw it out your frog.
Frog is just for show.
The frog is there to take a hit.
Does the Ewok or the Seahorn have higher agility?
I think the Ewok has higher.
I have seven.
Agility?
Yeah, nine.
I have ten.
So that would be, it would be that thing, right?
The Lava Man is going to go first, always.
And then you're going to go second.
And then Maple's going to go third.
And then George.
George is going to go fourth.
So going third is the Ewok.
All right.
So I'll just come right in attacking.
That's totally cool.
Yeah.
I'm going to do a, I'm going to try to do a Spark Attack.
So that would be a 15.
That hits, yeah.
Awesome.
And then 1d4 damage.
That's a four.
Nice, that blows up.
Two or three.
Seven total.
I'm very stoked to have done seven damage with a d4 roll.
Yeah, no, that's fucking awesome.
It's electric damage.
I mean, that does nothing to.
Nothing additional.
This is a pure fire type.
All right.
Seahorn.
The Seahorn is going to use its special attack.
Ice Cube.
So it's 13 against your strength.
Yep, that hits.
Okay.
So minus one defense.
What's everybody's HP at?
Nineteen.
Eight.
I came in at 11, I was already almost half down from the previous battle.
Okay.
The Lavamander rears up and opens its large toothy maw.
And you see a giant fireball form at the end of its snout and it shoots it out and it does.
Yes.
It does 15 damage to the Ewok.
Ewok is gone.
Ewok is knocked out.
So you can throw your next one out on your next turn.
All right.
And I think then it makes it the Furl's turn.
Yes.
I'm going to have the Furl do, what's its strength?
Its strength is 10.
So I'm going to do the distracting tail against it, which is a special.
It reduces, I mean, it reduces its strength by one if it works.
Fuck.
I did an eight.
An eight versus my strength?
Yeah, that doesn't matter.
That would be Maple's turn to throw out their next pal if they wish.
I'm going to throw out my Spiglet.
All right.
Your level six one.
Level six Spiglet.
And then it would be George's turn with your Seahorn.
All right.
The Seahorn is going to make a squirt attack.
Squirt all over it.
So that's a four on the dice plus nine for my strength for 13.
Yeah, that hits.
All right.
We got 1d4 water damage.
All right.
It'll be doubled.
Oh, that's a one.
Oh, man.
Still two damage.
Rough.
Okay.
You get some water on it, but this Lavamander is so hot right now, it boils it into steam
really pretty quickly.
Darn it.
And does a 15 beat the Seahorn's strength?
It does.
Okay.
It pours steam out of these holes on its back, kind of filling the entire area.
It seems to affect the Seahorn more than anything.
You're going to decrease all your attributes by one.
Really?
Really, really.
What's that thing's defense again?
Now it's nine and it's the Furl's turn.
My hand clause that automatically hit because I'm a 10 attack.
Oh, yeah, that would hit.
Right?
You know, I'm going to roll the D six.
I mean, I did.
Yeah, it does make any difference.
So that's the only fucking oh, wait, the eight not D four.
Big difference there.
Yeah, too.
All right.
So much power.
That's something.
That's what I did last turn too.
I was hoping for like an eight and then like another eight and like.
All right, Spiglet, let's see it.
All right, Spiglet, it's going to start.
You see its abdomen start pulsating as it squirts out more pigweb than you have seen
yet come out of the back end of one of these piglets for the more pigwig pigweb special
attack.
It's a special attack with BD six plus agility.
Agility is two plus six.
So eight versus my strength, right?
Oh, yeah, I guess so.
That's not going to work.
No, it does not.
It is not effective.
The pigweb hits the lava mandarin.
It just immediately melts.
None of these are going to work.
Does it smell like bacon?
The pigweb does really smell like some bacon, too.
Yes.
I'm just wondering why it's pink.
Like, I'm really wondering why the webbing is pink.
It feeds on cotton candy.
It dreams it eats plankton like a flamingo.
So I think it's pink.
They shrimp shrimp.
Close giant plankton.
No.
Yeah.
But it's a spike.
How would a spider eat a shrimp?
Probably its mouth.
All right, seahorn.
All right.
The seahorn feeling unhappy about what just happened to it.
It's going to come back for another squirt attack.
I think so.
That's an 11.
That hits.
Yeah.
OK.
Four.
All right.
That blows up.
Six.
So six and then times two because it's a water attack, right?
Yes.
All right.
So that does 12 damage.
Nice.
Yeah, that's a good hit.
Get it.
Squirt Squirt.
Does the you said it was a trench coat.
Three kids in a trench coat.
Yes.
Correct.
Like kids kids.
They're not nine.
They're still kids.
Can I leave the battle and then just push them over physically outside of.
Oh, dude, I'm kicking their ass.
We're done with this battle.
Oh, wait, that's that's child abuse.
Because we're adults.
But we could pretend to be a child.
The three of us in one trench dress coat.
You could.
OMG, still a little boy.
Whoa.
Does a 14 beat your defense on the furl?
14 like triples it.
This thing's got such low defense.
OK, the lava mander lurches forward and scratches you with its flaming claws.
However, it only does two damage because you are also a fire type and it doesn't dig in
that hard.
Yes.
And it is the first turn.
It's going to scratch back with the stone cloth.
For one day.
Are you sure you hit?
Oh, yeah, you do.
Yeah.
It's nice about the fucking strength, but it has no defense.
OK, it's big.
All right.
Spiglet is going to try poison strike.
So it's little mandibles get all wild and start doing some excretions.
And then it takes its little peg hose on the end of its eight little feet and wipes them
in the poison on its mandibles and then strikes with a eight.
Eight, and eight just misses.
Good try, though, Spiglet.
Seahorn.
All right.
The Seahorn is going to come back around and try to have another successful squirt attack.
Got a 11.
That hits.
Yeah.
All right.
And a rule to two.
So four damage for the water attack.
OK.
This Lavamander is looking really pretty rough.
It rears up on its back legs again, and you see this giant fireball reach into its stomach
and come out of its mouth.
And it hits you for nine fire damage.
And it does ignore type of disadvantages.
So even though you are water, you're still going to take nine.
And I missed something earlier.
This thing's first attack, it used flare up, and that was supposed to do three times the
damage.
You whacked it, Wolfie.
Yes.
It should have actually hit you for 40 something damage.
That's fine.
It died.
I mean, it's going to sleep either way.
Yeah.
You swacked that thing.
All right.
Furl.
Are we going to take it out?
What's going to happen?
Claws.
Six.
Six damage?
Yeah.
And that blows up, doesn't it?
No, it's an eight.
Oh.
I wish.
Well, either way, that is enough.
And this Lavamander lets its last fire flaming shit out of its body and goes back into its
peltrap.
And as soon as it does, the three boys hop off each other's shoulders and scatter into
the tall grass.
Get back here.
We have some stern things to say to you, you young children.
Each of you take 16 XP.
Is there anything in the pocket to that coat?
The coat does go trailing behind the tallest one.
Bastard.
Can I have the Furl Char, like, at the children for a six to attack?
You can.
So they each drop one D100s worth of cash.
So you guys can roll that and add that to your...
Nice.
Get the money.
Hey, so question.
Um, the pig spider thing.
Spiglet.
I haven't seen the illustration.
Does it have spider feet or pig hoofs on spider legs?
Technically, it's just eight rather basic appendages, but I thought it would be really
cool to have little pig feet on the bottom of the spider legs.
That's how I imagined it, certainly.
So you see an eight legged pig track.
Yeah, I mean, I was really thinking more about the ability to tap dance.
Oh, dude, I bet you I could river dance like a mother.
Mm hmm.
Now we're on the same page.
I was picturing like gross, like hairy spider legs though.
I didn't think about the hair aspect, but yeah, it probably has all those little feelers
on there that are rather...
He said it had like a...
It has a pink dot, like so it's like black widow pink.
Like it's like a black window over all in pink.
I just described it, how it came up into my mind.
Wow.
Black and pink.
Yeah, so I'm like, I'm this...
The real trick is that once you see the photo, you just kind of try to fill in some blanks.
That makes it easiest for you to fill in the blanks.
That's why I wanted to make sure that my blank was filled.
And that's where we're going to end the session for today.
So until next time, we'll see you next next Tuesday.
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Climb to the top of the...
What the hell would you even call it?
Jungle gym?
Thunderdome.
Yeah, I'm a nine year old adult.
I call it the Thunderdome.
I thought spider pig.
It definitely is a spider pig.
Yeah.
No, no, like, like from The Simpsons.
Oh yeah.
The Simpsons.
Spider pig.
That is why this came to be.
But I was thinking more like Frank Reynolds when he plays Man Spider.
So I was like, this is like pig spider.
Now it has three agility.
Oh, that was...
On mine, it's like a fucked up looking colon.
An electric get...
That's so stupid.
It's not going to do nothing.