Welcome, my little critters, to Tales from the Crit Season 2, The Level Up.
We're an actual play podcast with an ever-changing cast of players making our way through a bunch
of different RPG systems, from micro-RPGs to some of the more well-known role-playing
games out there, and the occasional highly narrative tabletop game.
Content warnings can be found in the episode's description.
My name is Riley Groves, and I am the Crit Keeper on this episode of Tales from the Crit.
On the last episode of We'll Call Them Pals, the boys continued on the road to Chillyville,
encountering many new and exciting pals along the way, as well as new and exciting people,
some friends, some foes, some nude.
On their travels, they have caught new pals and grown closer to the pals that they have.
We pick up now, with them facing a very angry loglet.
Welcome back to Tales from the Crit, continuing our playthrough of our unnamed story arc.
I have Tim, Connor, and Stefan reprising their roles as Maple, George, and Poplar.
How are you guys today?
Doing alright.
Fantastic.
Alright, I know you're all eager to play, but before we do, let's answer a question
from our pod deck interview deck, and that question is, what is the most important thing
that you carry with you all the time?
My trusty cane.
My social security card.
Yeah, I know, you're not supposed to keep it on your person, but it has been in my wallet
for fucking 12 years.
I've had it in my wallet since I turned 16, and it has never left my wallet.
I've never lost it.
I've never lost my wallet.
I always keep my wallet on me, and I always put it in the same spot every day.
Mine is probably just my wallet in general.
No, my EpiPen.
That's probably it.
That's really important.
One may save my life if I am in financial danger, or it might fail me.
The other will buy me 30 minutes of life if I need it.
I would have to say ChapStick.
I was just quoting a movie from what I said at the beginning.
Okay.
What was the question?
What was the most important thing that you carry with you at all times?
Yeah, ChapStick sounds right.
It's a solid fucking answer.
I was going to just go with my bag.
It is where my ChapStick would be, but also my multi-tool and probably my wallet.
Everything.
Yeah, that's a good fucking answer.
All right.
Well, that was an easy one.
Let's jump into it.
Sounds good.
As you're stomping around, you see a very strange log, and you kick it, and suddenly
it shakes before it begins to roll.
It rolls right at your feet, and you're able to jump over it.
It presents itself as a standing log, and it's covered in vines.
In front of you, you see a very intimidating pal, probably the largest that you have seen
yet today.
Wow.
Yes.
Do you know what type it is?
It is a plant type.
Straight plant type?
Straight plant.
Okay.
I'm obviously going to attack with my Ewook.
Guys, there's a big one over here.
I think maybe we should try to capture.
Let's go with just a straight normal attack.
Okay.
Rolled a six plus my 11 strength is a 17.
Okay, that hits.
Then I will roll a D6 for damage, and I got a three.
Okay.
Largely, this loglet looks unaffected.
It absorbs the blow pretty easily.
And then the vines that are wrapped around it begin to unravel, and you see several mushrooms
protrude out of part of its bark, and it launches them at you.
Does an 18 hit?
Yeah, against whatever of them.
Okay.
It does seven damage.
Oh, wow.
And reduces your strength by one.
As these mushrooms make a direct hit, spraying spores all over your Ewook.
We got to help, Maple.
Yeah, that's a pretty big pal over there that he's fighting against.
This is a level 10.
A level 10?
Yes.
Right in my wheelhouse.
It is not.
Do I have any boosts?
I don't really have any boosts, huh?
I'm going to send in the Bog Frog.
Okay.
The Bog Frog joins the fray.
I'm going to throw in the feral.
Feral?
Feral.
Okay.
I'm going to call him Mr. Squeakers.
Okay.
He should be at five HP.
All right.
What is everybody's agility at?
Nine.
Two.
Seven.
Okay.
So the loglet goes first, so the Ewook will go second.
The feral goes third, and the Bog Frog goes last.
Sounds accurate to me.
Maple, it is your turn.
All right.
I am going to boost my defense by one.
So for the boost, I have to roll 1d10, and I have to get less than my agility, which
is a nine.
Correct.
So I rolled a zero, which is super far.
I rolled a 10, which is the only number above nine.
What a bummer.
Yeah, that sucks.
So no boost.
No boost that time.
Okay.
Feral.
Well, because it's a plant, I'm going to use the fire attack.
Okay.
Five.
Plus its strength.
Oh, five plus seven.
Twelve.
Okay.
So that's a tie.
So it does hit.
That's a four.
Okay.
A four.
That explodes.
So go ahead and...
And a one.
Okay.
And that is fire against a plant, so that is going to do double damage.
So you actually do 10.
Mr. Squeakers is the man.
And it is the Bog Frog's turn.
The Bog Frog is going to use rapid hops to try and reduce the target's accuracy for their
next attack.
And that is a five plus my agility, which is two.
So a seven versus opponent's strength.
That does not hit.
Okay.
Is that a two or a five?
That's a five.
For agility?
Oh, that's a two.
Right?
Yeah, that's a two.
Yeah.
It's got a pretty low agility score.
Okay.
So that is the loglet's turn.
Oh, I probably should have ran away.
I'm about...
Whoopsie.
Many of the vines that are wrapped around this loglet begin to shed their leaves and
it creates a large pile before a mighty gust of wind blows them at the furl, trying to
decrease its accuracy by using bluster.
Does a 14 beat your strength?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
So your accuracy is going to be impaired on your next attack.
So you're going to roll two dice and take the lower one on your next attack.
And it is Maple's turn.
All right.
I'm going to go for another...
Or go for a drop kick, which is a normal attack.
Okay.
I got a five plus my strength of 11 to be a 16.
Okay.
That hits.
And it'll be one D6 damage.
And I got a five.
All right.
A very good drop kick to this loglet.
And it is once again the furl's turn.
Fire right?
Fire.
Definitely fire.
But yeah, just careful.
It's a six to hit.
Well, six plus seven.
So a 13.
A 13 does hit.
That's a three.
Did you roll two D6 and take the lower one?
Your accuracy is impaired.
Oh, fuck.
I forgot about that.
That's a 10.
So I missed.
10 does not hit the loglet.
And it is the Bogfrog's turn.
I'm going to try and use rapid hops again.
Okay.
Although I feel like what is that thing's agility or strength rather?
12.
Yeah.
So there's no way I can hit with that actually.
So I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to attack with my squirt attack.
And that is a 12.
Yeah, 12 hits.
How much damage do you?
Let's see here.
One damage.
All right.
The loglet gets a little wet from the squirt and it doesn't look too worse for wear.
It looks pretty all right still.
And it sheds some more leaves and it aims them at the Bogfrog.
Does a 16 hit?
I like how you ask.
Does 16 hit?
Yes, 16 does hit the Bogfrog.
With your five defense.
So it sends several of these leaves.
It uses deconstructed paper cut and it comes and it slashes up your Bogfrog.
He takes 10 damage as it's a plant type move.
Yes.
We'll see as the maximum HP the Bogfrog could have right now is eight.
Seeing as he currently only had one, he has returned to his palatrine.
Yes, he definitely has.
And it is Maple's turn.
All right.
Does anyone have anything to weaken its strength?
I guess I have pitfall.
I could take it down a little bit that way.
Yeah, I'm going to use a special attack, which is going to be 1d6 agility plus 1d6 higher
than strength.
Yep.
Higher than my strength.
Oh, than your strength.
My strength.
What is your strength?
Twelve.
Oh, I got a 14.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that reduces my strength?
Reduces target's attributes.
Oh, all of them.
Awesome.
Stefan handed me the beefier of the first three Pokemon options I feel without realizing
it.
Oh, dude, I didn't look at the stats.
I looked at the picture and I was like, I think Tim will like this gingerbread looking
snake man.
So they all have, you know, different things that they do well.
The turdocking can learn any move.
So when you replace one, it can learn any type, which is special because I know it doesn't
have that many attacks.
Yeah, it's mostly like a support looking like creature.
It could learn any move from any pal that's currently in this universe.
There are items where you guys could find to add attacks to different pals and the turdocking
can learn any of those too.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
I should stop it for pals.
All right.
I believe the furl is the next to go, if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah.
Okay.
Please let it on fire.
Yeah, I'm going to try to.
I mean, it's got a bunch of leaves still over all of its face, so it's not really doing
very good.
And that's a, that would be a five and seven to hit.
12.
And then a four and seven.
So a 10.
It only accurately only affects the next hit, so you're good.
Oh, one pack?
Yep.
He goes back to normal.
So yeah, so the first one there.
That's your original roll and that hits.
Yep.
Okay, cool.
Three.
Okay.
Fire.
So six.
I don't think I would ever give a squirrel fire.
That was what was so exciting about it.
Yeah, but just like think about like, think about a realistic, like a squirrel, like a
squirrel on fire.
Yeah.
Like running around the woods.
Yeah.
Legit, right?
With other fiery squirrels.
They live in plenty of fiery squirrels.
All right.
I take it plants here aren't very flammable.
If there are more than three running in a group, they're called a blaze.
I like that.
All right, George, what are you doing now that the bog frog has been knocked out of
contention?
Um, I'm going to send in the buzzy.
All right.
The buzzy is going to use the shocker electrical attack.
Okay.
So that's a seven to hit.
Seven does not hit.
Unfortunately, the buzzy shock misses the log.
And we're back to the log.
Let's turn.
And it's still looking about the same, right?
It's looking pretty beat up at this point.
Wouldn't you have to get rid of one of your things?
You're like, Oh, I already know the one I'm going to get rid of.
I have two.
You only have two.
I'm going to get three.
I gave George my third.
Oh, it begins to lay down and from it, moss begins to sprout out of different holes and
cover the entirety of the log.
And in doing so it's increased its defense back to its maximum of 12.
Hmm.
Like a chia pet.
Yes.
Similar to a chia pet.
Back to 12, you say?
All right.
I'm going to go with my special again.
So I'm going to roll a D10 for the special.
Okay.
Nope.
Sorry.
It's a D6.
D6 plus agility.
Plus ability.
Or excuse me, agility.
I rolled a six.
So a 15.
Yeah, that'll do.
So that decreases its attributes by one again.
Yeah, I just keep stacking those, right?
Yeah.
Awesome.
We're going to make this thing easy to catch.
Easier if we're alive still.
It is the furl's turn.
So the distracting tail, like it just says reduce targets ST by one.
Is that strength?
Yep.
Oh yeah.
So in order to do that, that's a special attack.
So you'll roll one D6 plus your agility and try to beat the loglet's strength score.
Okay.
That's a five and a seven.
So that's 12.
Yeah.
That reduces it down to a strength of nine.
Yes.
All right.
Buzzeel.
What you got going on over there?
I'm going to use light show this time.
Okay.
And is that a special attack?
It is a special attack.
Okay.
That it's successful reduces the target's agility by one.
So a four plus my agility is three.
It's a seven again.
Okay.
The loglet is unaffected by the light show.
Maybe it's due to its lack of eyes.
Yeah.
Really low level heal.
It's not very agile.
And the loglet pops back up opening a hole in its moss and producing three more mushrooms
and it shoots them at the furl.
Does a 12 hit the furls defense?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
Well, it doesn't have too much effect as the furl is a fire type and this was a plant type
and it hits for one damage, but also reduces your strength by one.
Damn it.
Maple.
I'm going to use a sports drink on Ewook.
It has been down at five and I feel like I've been very reckless the last four turns not
doing anything to bring it back up.
So I'll add 10 HP from that sports drink.
So I am back to my full health of 15.
Okay.
Awesome.
And poplar.
Are you trying to capture this thing?
I think we should.
You want it?
I want it.
I want to catch this thing.
I want it.
I'm waiting.
All right.
I'm going to do a deal again.
That is only a eight.
Right?
Or no, is it agility?
Agility plus one D6.
Oh, so nine.
Nine ties its strength.
So that does succeed.
So that reduces its strength by one.
Yeah.
Okay.
My turn?
It is your turn, George.
Okay.
I will try and catch it.
Okay.
It is an 18.
An 18 to catch it.
You throw your pal trap at this loglet and it takes longer than the three shakes before
it settles down.
But by the seventh one, you have yourself a level 10 loglet.
So everybody take 10 XP for whichever pal you still have up and fighting in case one
of them went down.
And then it is down to only five HP right now, George.
But here is your level 10.
I am full.
So Maple, I think this is for you.
Oh, thanks, George.
You did a lot of work lowering its strength as well.
He also found it.
But that 10 XP brings my level one buzzy up to level two.
All right.
Nice.
So it gains two HP and plus one to each attribute.
Plus one to one attribute.
You can pick that one.
And that's our first level up of the game.
So when he first described the buzzy, like it sounded like something else in my head.
And then after learning its movesets, it sounds like something even completely different again.
And then looking at the picture, it makes me wonder what the fuck my mind is thinking.
Your mind didn't jump to an electric eel.
No, no, my like I knew you were going for electric eel.
But like when you first described it, it somehow sounded like a really disgusting like gooey
worm type thing.
And then after hearing the other things that he had, it made it sound more like a bedroom
toy like shocker and buzzy.
And I'm like, hmm.
I mean, I got squirt shocker, horn smash.
All right.
And I believe you're the only one that took a turn so far, Maple or?
Yeah, I believe so.
The first draw is the last.
I can't remember.
No, I did mine because I got the furl.
So I think it was the last.
I think he is the last.
Right.
You missed.
I missed.
Yeah, we're down in the darker area.
You didn't find anything.
I got the furl and then he got the loggy.
That was area seven, right?
Correct.
Yeah.
So you guys move on your way triumphant from such a glorious catch and you move into area
eight, which is equally as dark.
However, there is a small pond that adjoins this one.
So if you wanted to look for water type pals, you have a chance.
I'd like to look for an item.
Okay.
A six.
Unfortunately, you don't find anything in here.
I'm going to look for a water pal.
A 10.
Okay, a 10.
You are successful.
You borrow the kids fishing pole and cast it into the water.
It begins to shake.
What do you get?
Give me one D8.
A four.
If it's something we've already seen, I'm totally going to safari zone this and just
run away.
We throw a rock at it.
You got to grind out some experience, man.
That's true.
How do I get my trainer level up?
So you will get your trainer level up by beating gyms.
Okay.
Or strong boy centers, as they're known in this universe.
Okay.
Or strong girl centers.
They're, who knows?
The first one's just a boy.
Strong people?
Yeah.
Strong people.
You yank out of the water.
A bog frog.
It lands with a plop.
Takes a deep breath and blows itself up to twice its size.
Does it spit the hook out?
It sure does.
I'm going to attack it with a turducken.
It has a 12 agility, so it is going to go first.
It begins to rapidly hop around.
Does a 16 beat your strength score?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
It reduces your accuracy on your next attack, so you're going to be impaired on your next
attack.
Okay.
That's, oh, I'm going to roll twice.
Nine.
Nine does hit.
And four and three.
You critically hit this bog frog and it lets out its puff of air, but it still is hopping
around and it turns and from its mouth protrudes a gout of water and does a 10 hit your defense.
It shoots you with squirt for three HP damage.
Dang.
Are you in need of assistance?
No, I can kill it.
I think I can kill it.
I can kill it.
I got it.
All right.
So that would be eight.
Eight does beat this bog frog's defense.
Okay.
And three.
It lets out the rest of its breath and it collapses onto the beach here and you have
beaten this bog frog.
You are going to take three XP.
George, you have yet to go, correct?
Correct.
I will look around for a pal.
I rolled a 10.
A 10 is a success.
Are you looking in the water or on the land?
On the land.
Okay.
Give me a D8.
A three.
While you're kicking around looking for pals, you hear the unmistakable buzz of a giant
Skeeter and from the tree line, a very large Skeeter comes your way and it looks very thirsty.
You can see its little tongue flicking out the end of its protruding needle-ish beak
as it flies up to you, George.
Looking like perhaps it'll drink your blood if it could.
Oh my.
Well, I'm going to send out my buzzyl and my agility is three.
So I imagine that that thing goes first.
The Skeeter has an agility of eight.
Do you want assistance?
Yes.
Its big fat body lumbers over to your buzzyl and it tries to stick its long needle-ish nose
into you.
Does a 12 beat your strength?
My strength is five, so yes it does.
Okay.
It delivers a nasty disease to your buzzyl.
You're going to reduce your highest attribute by one.
So my defense and my strength are both five.
Okay.
Your choice on which one you want to...
My defense to four.
Okay.
And it is now your turn.
And Maple, you said you were going to throw in on those two?
Definitely, yeah.
Okay.
So George will go first and then Maple will enter you in.
All right.
I'm going to use the Shocker.
I rolled a four plus my strength of five for a nine.
Yep.
It hits.
Excellent.
Does 1d6 damage.
That is three electrical damage.
You shock this Skeeter and you see the electricity flutter through its wings and out of its body
as it takes its damage.
Maple, you're now in the fray.
All right.
I was going to throw out Rockpet, but I'm not going to.
I'm going to throw out Ewook.
Okay.
As I'm so close to getting that level up and I really want that.
All right.
Ewook is going to use Spark, which is an electrical attack.
Okay.
Which is a two plus 11, a 13.
That hits.
And then that's a 1d4, which is a...
Fuck.
I rolled a four.
That explodes.
Yeah.
And it's electric.
So then I'll roll it again.
I got a three, so 14.
I don't think you guys were trying to capture it.
I think you were ganking it.
Oh, okay.
It was definitely ganked.
Wait.
I don't have any traps left, but I don't think electric does anything like that.
I thought it was a water pal.
No, he checked the land.
So it's a bug type.
I was stuck on frog.
Sorry.
Right.
So just seven.
Just seven.
With that, you knock it out of the sky and its little body actually fries as it loses
its light and its big glowing red eyes turn black.
Each of you gain four XP.
How much HP does everybody have?
Eight total.
Okay.
Four and four.
I think that the buzzyl didn't take any damage after leveling up.
So it's full at eight.
Nice.
And the sea horn is also full at 15.
All right.
Both Ewok and Rockpet are full.
I don't know what I got loglet at.
I'm going to use my last soft drink for Turducken.
Okay.
To put it back to 14.
And you guys have cleared area eight.
Hooray.
Awesome.
Let's go bros.
On to the next area.
Boy, if we have to go through one more area, I don't know if these donuts are going to
be good enough to sell.
Donuts?
Cookies.
I thought they were cookies.
They're cookies.
You were paying attention.
I thought they were biscuits.
As you move into area nine, you can see the backs of two people going through the tall
grass.
They look like they're hunched over.
They're feet away from each other.
So it's not, they're not like one, it's not under the other or anything.
So, but that's all you can see as you're make your way into this section.
We're going to take a quick break to listen to an ad for another show on the Wolfbeard
Games podcast network that you are sure to love.
Hey there, how's it going?
I'm Carl and this is my drive in movie theater.
Been running this place for 10 years now.
Business has been really picking up the last six months, which is great.
The first nine and a half years though, not so much.
Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie, get Josh out of the radio and tell him to pay more attention
to trucks.
I just saw three kids hop out of the truck and that blue boat of a car over there.
Come on, Josh, remind him what we've talked about, Julie.
Holy biscuits.
I wish I had the A team here tonight, but they're recording a new episode of their podcast,
Bear Museum Theater.
And I can't be mad because it's a good show and those kids deserve to have fun.
They work hard.
Not like Josh.
I got to keep that kid on the ticket window or he eats all the popcorn.
And he thinks I don't know, but I do know.
I do know Josh.
He leaves marks everywhere.
I can track him with minimal effort.
So I started putting more butter in the popcorn in the first place.
Anyway, you make sure to go listen to Bear Museum Theater, a podcast all about seeing
if the movies you remember being your favorite still hold up.
I don't want to spoil anything, but the first episode is Rocky and Bullwinkle.
And that's a movie that I had never seen before.
Didn't even know it was a movie.
It's a classic TV show.
Why did they want to make it into a movie?
All right, I got to go.
Got a business to run.
Make sure to listen to Bear Museum Theater, available wherever you can get podcasts.
I'm Carl.
This is my drive-in movie theater.
And remember that every spot is the best in the lot.
Already know how this is going to go.
Ewok, attack.
I think that you've got the right ticket, Maple.
I'm going to send out a seahorn as well.
I agree, George.
Poplar, let's go.
Feral.
Mr. Squeakers.
Oh, Mr. Squeakers.
Mr. Squeakers.
Yeah, I've renamed him.
OK, cryptozoologist Jane and cryptozoologist Jim jump out of the tall grass.
One has a magnifying glass and says, you've got bug eyes before throwing out a rocket.
And the other says, I didn't see you until I had my magnifying glass up.
And she throws out her bog frog.
I saw you both.
And that's why I'm here.
I heard we had to beat people named Jim.
Very nice.
What's happening?
And I'm here too.
Pretty much.
It just seems like every other adult wants to kill us.
So they didn't tell us.
They all became adults at nine, just like everybody else.
Yeah.
And that's what they learned.
And it's been pretty rough.
I feel like I missed some important lessons throughout my childhood.
I really should have been paying attention.
Like did you guys know that it's just a murder fest out here?
That it's Hunger Games?
Yeah.
In real?
No.
It's a very...
Everybody in town seemed so nice.
Like, I would watch them.
They would all play around.
Nobody was really trying to do anything terrible.
I think mom's in denial.
If it's like this out here, dad probably, you know...
Died.
In case that one...
Oh.
Nine areas have taken control of Maple.
I went up real quick.
Maple is coming out of that shell.
All right.
Let's see.
Let's run down the agility order.
Who's got the highest?
Nine.
Okay.
Six.
Seven.
All right.
This is going to be easy.
It's going to be Maple.
Did you say six or seven?
Six.
And you said seven?
Seven, yeah.
Okay.
Maple, Poplar, George, Cryptozoologist Jane, and then Cryptozoologist Jim.
What?
So they have bug type Pokemon?
They have a Bog Frog, which is a water, and they have a Rock Pet, which is a Psychic and
Rock.
Okay.
I'm going to go right to the Rock Pet with Ewok, and I'm going to do a Drop Kick, which
is a normal attack.
Okay.
Two plus 11, a 13.
That hits.
All right.
And I got a six on a D6.
Solid.
And because it's a Psychic type, normal actually does double, so go ahead and explode that
dice.
Two.
All right.
So you do 18 and then multiple, or you do eight and then multiply that by two.
16.
You one hit this Rock Pet.
Everybody take one XP from that.
And Cryptozoologist Jim says, Rock Pet, that was very good.
Come back.
And Rock Pet retreats into its ball and he throws out.
I don't think you're doing it right.
Don't worry.
My peck it will take over.
And he throws out his second pal.
I hate this one.
And you know what a peck it looks like.
It's got swirling maniacal eyes.
Its beak is covered in specks of blood and it floats about three feet above the ground
in front of you.
And it would be the Furl's turn.
I'm going to attack the peck it with Mayhem Claws.
That's a six and seven.
13.
A 13 definitely hits the peck it.
So I think that's the strongest attack we've got so far.
So that does one D8.
Five.
A good hit on the peck it.
And it gets knocked down to the ground momentarily before its eyes begin to swirl even faster
and it takes off back into the sky.
And it is the Seahorn's turn.
George, what do you got for us?
Let's see.
The Seahorn is going to propel itself up and use Horn Smash on the peck it.
All right.
That is a 13.
That hits the peck it.
Yeah, George, smash the peck it.
And a three for damage.
Yeah, you guys are beating this peck it up pretty good and it looks rather terrible already.
However, the Bog Frog jumps in and begins to rapidly jump in circles trying to distract
all of you.
And he's going to target the Ewok.
Does a 12 beat your strength?
Yes.
OK.
You're going to reduce your accuracy to impaired on your next hit.
What does that mean?
You roll 2D6 to hit and you're going to take the lower score.
Gotcha.
Just for the next one?
Just for the next one.
OK.
The peck it lunges forward, its eyes spinning and its beak dives into your Ewok.
Does an 11 beat your defense?
Yes.
It sucks one HP out of your Ewok and bolsters itself.
And now it is the furl's turn.
Char attack against the bird.
I mean, roasted bird.
Roasted bird.
Yeah, eight.
Eight beats its defense.
Ah, OK.
Two.
You singed some of its feathers off, but it still stays flying.
Ewok, you would go next.
I think you should have went before.
Yeah, I think so.
The furl.
OK, I am going to attack.
Who's last right now, the bird or the bird?
The bird, definitely.
I don't think the Bog Frog has actually been attacked yet.
All right, I'm going to go for the Bog Frog because that's a water, right?
It is, yes.
Yeah, perfect.
So yeah, I want to do an attack with my electric attack.
I'm going to try.
It's the worst of two.
Yep.
Would be a two plus my strengths would be a 13.
Yeah, that still hits the Bog Frog.
Awesome.
So it would be a D4.
That would be a one.
And what type of move was that?
That was an electric attack.
OK, so that is actually two.
All right, Seahorn.
What are you doing?
Seahorn is going to use another horn smash on the peckett.
And that's an 11.
Does that hit?
That hits the peckett.
Yeah.
All right.
For four damage.
You knock the peckett out of the sky with this horn attack and it goes back into Cryptozoologist
Jim's Paltron.
Everybody gained two XP.
Guys, we defeated our first Jim.
Awesome.
Man, we're doing great.
I can't wait to tell mom about this.
It's way different out here than she had said.
I'm not out of the fight yet.
Bog Frog, squirt.
Does a nine beat the furl's?
Yeah, that's OK.
George has got a pal that squirts.
It does four water damage.
Dead.
OK, your furl goes unconscious and reverts into its paltron.
Even if it was just a straight four, it would have still knocked it, but like, because it's
fire and water.
All right.
So you can throw your next pal out if you want, but you're going to miss your turn.
Yep.
I'll bring out Turdakken for my next turn.
And then it would be the Ewook's turn.
OK.
And what are we fighting?
Sorry.
Let's head with it.
The Bog Frog.
That's a Bog Frog still.
All right, cool.
I am going to go for another spark.
Four plus my strength of 11 is a 15.
Yeah.
The Bog Frog doesn't have great defense.
All right, it's my D4.
And I got a four.
All right.
And a one.
OK, so that's a five total and it was an electric attack.
Yes.
All right.
You do 10 damage and you shock this Bog Frog and it sizzles as it lets out its breath and
it passes out reverting into its own paltrap.
You each take one XP.
I heard it tastes like chicken.
It's kind of like chicken in a box.
Cryptozoologist Jane goes, I'm not done yet.
And she throws out her next pal.
Hang on a minute, Jane.
I am getting packaged.
Do you think we can eat these things?
Like eat their stuff?
That wouldn't be like, you know, like murder.
They're maybe the wild ones.
I'm saying you think we can eat a pal.
Here we cook a pal.
Could we use our pals to cook other pals?
You got that fire squirrel.
I think you're on to something.
Fire squirrels.
You can't eat the cookies because that's we need the money.
But we can eat a pal.
Do you have any fish pals, Jane?
I'm going to take offense to that.
Is that a cow wearing a fucking birthday hat?
It is not.
It is a cat wearing a wizard hat.
And she throws out a wild bub cat, which is a magic normal cow type.
Nice.
Who knocked it out?
Oh, yeah, me.
Okay.
With the electric attack.
So it is going to be you skip your turn.
It is going to be George's turn.
All right.
I'm going to ice cube it.
So it's a special attack.
That's going to be a d6 plus my agility.
That's a nine.
Does that beat its strength?
It does.
All right.
That is minus one defense.
All right.
And then it would be the bub cat's turn.
It begins scratching furiously at the ground and you see its hair on its back raise up
from its tail to the top of its head.
And it opens its mouth and you can see many jagged teeth form an evil smile as its eyes
slant down and it looks extremely menacing and it begins to glow.
But that's all it does on its turn.
And it is now the Ewoks turn.
Let's charge it.
Dropkick the pussy.
All right.
So what is this?
I'm sorry.
What type is this?
Magic and normal.
Magic sucks against normal.
Wait.
Magic strong against normal.
All right.
I'm going to Ewok come home.
Rockpet go kick some ass.
I'm going to put out rockpet instead.
Do the old switcheroonie.
All right.
Is that my turn or can I attack?
That'll probably take your turn.
Yeah.
So then it would be back to poplar.
I'm going to do a Faracle which it's boost one target's abilities all.
So I'm going to do that on the, actually you do psychic so your low level rock.
Yeah.
I'm going to do it on the rock.
It's not the best stats.
It's just a rock with googly eyes.
Yeah.
But it'll boost all of them up long, right?
Yeah.
Strength, defense and specifically agility which is only a three.
So having a four would probably be very handy.
Yeah.
So for a boost you have to roll one D10 and come in under your agility.
Oh, D10.
Mm-hmm.
Six.
Which my agility is 11.
Yes.
The Dredacan almost always passes its special or its boost with its agility unless it's
impaired.
So the rockpet will increase all attributes by one and then it would be the seahorn's
turn.
All right.
So the seahorn is going to horn smash the cat.
Ooh.
It's a nine to hit.
A nine does beat its defense.
Excellent.
And a five for damage.
A solid hit.
Suddenly the cat unleashes all of its energy and hurls itself towards the seahorn with
improved accuracy.
It was a trap.
Does a 10 beat your defense?
A 10 ties my defense.
Okay.
Yes.
Wait.
Did you...
Oh, you put up all his stats.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
No, no.
It's all good.
I was thinking of doing yours, but then I was like magic, physics, or his is psychic,
right?
No, you made the right choice.
Yeah.
So I was like, oh, he'll do like more damage and like the likelihood of his character actually
hitting is better now?
The seahorn only takes two damage, but it reduces its defense by one.
Then it's back to maple.
Is that the first damage that thing's actually taken?
Yes.
Out of all the battles it's been in.
Rock Pet is going to attack with rock toss.
Gets a six plus strength of 10 plus one is 17.
Yeah, that hits.
It's one D four.
We're going to keep rolling with the red one.
It's been nice and lucky.
And we'll get a two.
Okay.
Two psychic damage.
Well, no, because now that I'm looking at it, it's attack type is specified as rock.
It doesn't have any psychic moves.
Yeah.
Bugger.
Yeah.
I will be going back to see something.
All right.
I can't go back.
That'd be a waste of what you gave me.
You slam into this cat.
Well, the rock pet slams into this bug cat and you hear a little crunch and then the
rock quickly rolls back into its starting position.
Turducken, what do you have for us?
I'll attack with the pack attack.
That's a 10.
All right.
10 beats its defense.
Three.
I really hope that we get to like one of those pal sadders soon.
It's like, otherwise my thing's going to be eating food.
Your pack makes the bug cat wince and his face gets even angrier.
However, it is the seahorn's turn.
All right.
The seahorn is going to go for another horn smash.
It's worked out well so far.
That's a 13.
Yep.
And a six.
All right.
Blow that dice up.
One.
So seven damage.
You horn slam.
Yes.
Horn smash.
Horn smash into this bug cat, driving the horn through the center of it.
And before anything gory happens, it turns into light and goes back into its pal trap.
And each of you can take four XP.
Great job, seahorn.
Get back in your little box thing right now.
George, as you've made the last attack to knock him out, go ahead and roll 1d100.
80.
Each of the cryptozoologists throw $80 at you, one in singles, one in 20s, and then
they run off into the woods and off of the path.
You hear some screaming, but you just dismiss it.
Why was the one carrying $80 in singles?
I think we know why Jane had $80 in singles.
It was from Jim.
Oh, I think we know why Jim had $80.
There are very few, very limited ideas.
He obviously is a big fan of vending machines.
Oh, gosh.
We had lakes of sweets.
And area nine is now cleared.
How do we want to do that money?
160 divided by three.
That's 40.
Oh, 50.
Nope.
53, 33.
We can each take 60 and then put 40 into the group account.
Sure.
Nope, that math doesn't really match either.
No?
It's 160 bucks.
I'm at 40.
Sorry.
We should take 40 and then throw the other 40 in the...
Yeah, that math writes.
Yeah.
Yeah, that one does.
Yeah.
Okay.
Right?
Each take 40 and then throw 40 in the communal coffer.
That's 160.
Yeah.
So that puts us carrying at like 90.
Yeah.
What's your XP out for the Ewok, Tim?
So actually it is at 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 37.
37.
Not right.
What's yours for the Turducken?
31.
What's yours for your Seahorn?
26.
Well, you've leveled up some other ones.
So you guys are free to explore area nine.
All right.
I would like to search for an item and by golly, this would be awesome if I got one this time.
I feel like I've been searching a lot.
Nice 14 you got there.
All right.
So roll 1d20 for an item.
A nine.
While you're searching around in the tall grass, your hand bumps something sharp.
Ow.
And out of the bushes, you pull a half-filled syringe of steroids.
Oh no.
Guys we gotta go see Dr. Woodtree again.
I think I might have an infection.
The liquid inside bubbles in a weird brown viscous liquid, but you know, it doesn't look
too terrible.
Maybe.
All right.
I carefully put it in my backpack.
George, what are you doing?
I'm going to look around for an item as well.
Okay.
It's probably fine to stick the half a needle into, you know, your pals.
They won't mind.
Not for you.
You don't have to be that worried about the cleanliness of it.
We got a 19.
All right.
Roll again.
Let's see what you found.
I got a 10.
Do you guys want to fight something still or nah?
If I remember correctly, we're almost there, right?
We just did area nine.
We have one more area and then town where we have to beat the strong boys.
Boy, boy, boy, boy.
So you're not sure what the hell happened here, but you find an inhaler laying on the
ground.
Oh my.
Makes sense for the singles now.
And poplar.
What are you looking for?
I'm looking for items.
All right.
13.
That is a success.
So give me a D 20.
That's a six.
In the grass, you find an empty peltrap.
Oh, cool.
I found a peltrap.
Oh, nice.
Maybe I'll get rid of the turducken.
It was a joke.
I'll take your turducken.
You can have this rock pet.
I don't want the rock.
Very quiet.
He just kind of hangs out.
All right.
And that's all the area nine has for you.
We're almost there, guys.
We can almost sell mom's cookies.
Yeah.
And you make it to area 10.
There's nobody else in here yet.
You can hear the sounds of town not far off.
I'm going to look around for another pal in this last area before the town.
I got a seven.
Harry, you could just use that.
Oh, he gives you a lure.
Why don't you go ahead?
Oh yeah, I have a lure.
Oh, there you go.
Just drink one of those real quick.
They smell it through your sweat.
I use the lure to reroll my hunt roll.
That's a 17.
All right.
That's a success.
Go ahead and give me a D10 or a D8.
My bad.
Whatever it is.
It's a two.
And from the bushes comes a familiar looking cat.
It's white and black dotted and is wearing a wizard's hat.
It grins mischievously and bears its teeth.
Oh my, it's one of those cats.
Do you guys know what happens?
Can we only carry three or can we catch this kitty and save it for later?
I think you could just take a turn and throw a...
I'm just going to...
Yeah, I'm assuming you could pick just...
If you pick one off your belt, when you go to pick up the other one, you can take and
then replace it, right?
This one, if you catch it, will be stored at a PAL center automatically.
So you could rotate it over.
I was just going to get rid of Rockpet.
I was going to get rid of the Grasshopper.
I haven't even read its stats either.
I was about to do that first.
I think we should all attack together.
Yeah.
Not like at the same time, but...
I'm definitely going to attack with Ewok.
Okay.
George, you're throwing Seahorn out there?
No, actually, I'm throwing out the Buzzeel.
You're throwing out the Buzzeel.
All right.
Turducken.
And you're throwing out the Turducken.
Not a fan of the old Crickhopper, huh?
It's dead.
Oh yeah.
It's not alive.
So it's unalived right now.
All right.
So, George, you're going to go first because you found it and then Poplar, you're next
and Ewok, you are up last or third.
The Bupcat will be up last.
Okay.
I'm going to roll to shock it with my electric attack for a six.
A six misses.
I'll pack attack it.
That's an eight.
An eight ties its defense, so it does hit.
Two.
All right.
Another pack landed into this Bupcat.
Well, the first damage landed into this Bupcat.
A furious pack by the Turducken.
What is the Ewok doing?
Ewok is going to use Pitfall, a special attack to reduce the target's attributes.
Special attack is the d10.
Nope.
The special attack is agility plus one d6.
13.
13 does beat its strength score.
Yes.
Awesome.
So it reduces all its attributes by one.
Yes.
Okay.
And it is the Bupcat's turn.
It attempts to use Kittenman's and jumps on the Ewok, attacking for a nine.
Against strength?
Defense.
Nine against defense.
That hits.
It blows up on four damage.
It does six damage and reduces your defense by one.
Not good.
Kittenman's.
And that is back now back to the Buzz Eel's turn.
All right.
The Buzz Eel is going to try its special attack out.
Light show.
Special attack with a five against strength.
Five does not do it.
No.
So it resists that.
Turducken.
Going for it, boys.
Okay.
You're going to throw out a Palletrap.
Give us a d20.
Wow.
Get it.
Three.
All right.
So your Palletrap hits it, hoppers over it, and then the Bupcat quickly busts back out
and your Palletrap explodes.
Damn it.
Ewok.
I'm going to use Dropkick to do a normal attack.
Okay.
That's a six plus 11, 15.
Nice.
D6 of damage.
One.
A pretty ineffective Dropkick overall, but the Bupcat does take some damage.
However, it's going to attack back and it's going to attack the Buzz Eel next.
Does a 10 beat the Buzz Eel's defense?
Yes, it does.
However, it only does one point of damage, but it does reduce your defense by one as
it latches on with its Kitten Mittens continuing its attack and it's the Buzz Eel's turn.
The Buzz Eel is going to use the Electric Attack Shocker.
Now roll a six against its defense.
It's got a defense of seven.
Okay.
So it resists with the Shocker?
Yes, it resists the shocking damage.
Turducken?
Peck Attack.
Furious Pecking.
Ten.
Ten would hit, yep.
Four and three.
With the seven damage done from the critically hitting Peck Attack, you knock this Bupcat
unconscious and its little Wizard Hat falls off its head and everybody takes four XP.
Can I take its Wizard Hat and put it on the Turducken?
No.
Damn it.
The Turducken already has a Santa hat on, so.
Yeah, you could be wearing a Santa and a Wizard.
Double hat.
Let's see, was that?
That was me finding it.
That was George's turn?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
And everybody went?
Poplar, did you go?
I think I was the first one.
You were the first one to go, George?
Yeah.
All right.
No, you found out.
It was that last turn.
I think that was last turn.
Last turn.
I rolled for something and I didn't.
You got steroids.
Yeah, you got steroids.
You got an inhaler.
You got a pal trap.
Okay, and then he got the cat.
I'm looking for an item.
Okay.
18.
All right.
Hold me a d20.
See what you find.
7.
You find another bottle of lure.
Lure.
And maple.
It is your turn.
All right.
I'm gonna search for a pal.
Okay.
17.
All right.
You find one.
Let's see what you found.
8.
Awesome.
You stumble upon another loglet laying here in the tall grass.
I'm gonna run away.
You shuffle away and the loglet barrel rolls back into the bushes.
Perfect.
And that was everybody's last turn in area 10?
Yeah.
Yep.
The three of you, now full blown men from your day's journey, walk into the town of
Chilliville as it begins to get to be evening.
The town's bustling with lots of people.
It's a beautiful town, much bigger than your last one.
It has a strong person center, a pal center where you know you could go and get your pals
refreshed.
There's also a store and several other buildings here.
And as you gaze around, looking at the first town you've seen besides your own small town
of Wingdale, you're all at awe.
It's so much colder here in Chilliville than where we come from in Wingsville.
Wingdale.
Wingsdale.
I pronounce my D's like V. You know that that's a thing out in Wingdale.
Or Wingvale, as I like to call it.
It was a small town.
I know you had to make up a lot of your own lore and tradition about the place because
it was kind of boring.
It was extremely boring.
I mean, technically my village I grew up in was a 20 foot by 20 foot home.
So not a lot of life experience.
I would like to go heal my pals.
Okay.
The three of you walk into the pal center and head up to the counter.
And there's an elaborate healing machine that will just accept your pal traps and recoup
all lost HP and attributes and bring back to consciousness any knocked out pals.
Back to 100% for free.
Isn't it amazing how these pal traps sit perfectly on this tray?
Can you imagine if they were a different shape?
They'd be rolling all over the place.
They'd probably just make the receptacle a different shape.
There you go again, Poplar.
Just overthinking it.
We never thought of a different shape.
A very joyful nurse says from behind the counter.
Yeah, he was saying you could do like a star or a triangle.
Triangles are the strongest things in the world.
Yes, but they're not great for catching things.
Yeah, but they would also stab it and throw it.
You could ignore him.
He's an adult.
As of today.
Oh, it's your ninth birthday.
It's our ninth birthday.
Are you boys striking out on your own?
We're moving.
Excellent.
Do you have a gift for us?
The gift is free health care.
Oh, that is a gift.
That is a gift.
What do I have to give in turn for this free health care?
You're kidding.
Nothing.
You just have to be a citizen.
Of course, it's not free health care for you.
It's free health care for your pals.
Oh, but what if they're citizens of my hometown of Wingdale?
What?
Wingdale?
That's fine.
It's universal.
Oh, that's what that word means.
Yes.
I am only nine years old of an adult.
Starting out right at the beginning.
Do you want to buy some cookies?
Do I?
No, I'm watching my figure and she steps back and she has a very tight white nurse's outfit
on.
You look familiar.
Didn't we?
Didn't we see you earlier?
Me?
I don't think so.
I've been here all day.
What's your name?
Nurse Euphoria.
Okay.
I'm nine.
So that works for me.
We met a nurse happy earlier.
Oh, yes.
She works here.
When's she going to see the doctor?
She's a traveling nurse.
Oh, what was her name?
Nurse Happy.
Oh, right.
You were there.
You got stuff out of her bag.
Yeah, I just thought it was odd that this one knew that we met the other one.
George just said that.
Oh, but it could have been any nurse.
Well, if you're coming from Wingdale, nurse happy went that way earlier today.
I was talking to her before she left.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Sure does.
Don't overthink it, kid.
First law of being an adult.
Oh, I will remember that.
Good.
Write it down.
All right.
Now run along.
Thanks for the help with our pals.
You're welcome.
Have a great night.
We got to go sell these cookies now, I guess.
Oh, yeah, we should go to the store and sell these cookies.
Is that where we got to sell them?
Okay, good.
I forgot.
I thought we were going to sell them.
Oh, I thought the store was going to buy them from us and then they were going to sell them.
That sounds better.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what she said.
I've been listening to her for years because she talks to herself and I grew up in a 20
by 20 foot home.
I heard a lot of her business plans over the year.
I'm starting to merge characters.
I don't know anything about business.
You guys depart from the PAL Center and head over to the store?
Yeah.
Inside is a pretty dirty convenience store and standing at the front counter is a large
man and there's not many customers inside.
The shelves don't really have too much on them.
There's much of what you would find, much of what you saw in Nurse Happy's bag.
The man at the counter looks very gruff.
He's large.
He's wearing a red tank top.
It's pretty dirty.
He's got a cigarette in his mouth.
We're here to sell our mom's cookies.
What cookies?
We're here to deliver cookies to the owner.
Could we speak to the owner?
I'm Yoko, the owner.
Step up.
Show me your cookies.
These are-
George.
Here you go, sir.
These are Wingdale's finest spiced cookies by our mother.
Your mother.
What is her name?
She made this for our birthday and we brought them here to you.
That's an excellent treat for me.
What is your mother's name?
Mom?
We never called her anything other than mom.
Oh, it's Mrs. Capture.
Well, no, Miss Capture.
I'm sorry.
She would be really mad if she heard me slip up on that.
Oh, is she single now?
No.
Oh.
Well, how do I know these are her cookies?
Pass one over here.
I need to try it.
All right, but it is $50 to try it and then we get the other 50 once you've confirmed
these are our mom's cookies.
I tell you, I'll give you a thousand bucks for the box of cookies just if you just try
it.
Let me try one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, here.
And he munches down one of those cookies.
Yes, just how I remember Mrs. Capture's cookie.
This is delicious.
Pass the box over.
Here is the money.
Thanks.
And he just hands you a wad of money.
All right, now go on.
Get out of the store.
Oh, did you have anything for sale involving cows?
Oh, I have plenty of stuff.
Yes, I have lots of stuff.
What are you looking for?
Oh, I'm looking for a pal section.
Really actually.
Yeah, anything to do with pals.
Oh, it's all for pals.
Nothing here is actually for people.
Oh, strange enough.
Very difficult.
Besides these cookies that I will sell tomorrow.
Oh, okay.
At this point, I thought that they were personal cookies for you.
No, I wouldn't spend a thousand dollars on this cookie.
You just did.
I suppose you got me there.
Anyways, make a roll for me, just a 1D20 roll.
17.
You're a funny one.
Go grab something off the shelf.
Thank you, sir.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to go grab another of the drinks, please.
Oh, sports drink.
Yeah, very good.
They're the PoundMe brand.
Yeah, it's one of my favorites.
Though sometimes I'll get the spread them because it can be a little bit cheaper.
Yes, that's why we don't carry that inferior product.
Well, I meant in price.
It's just harder to find because they just started out.
It usually has to be a more populated town.
Perhaps you'll have to go to the next town over.
Yeah, but you know there's-
Balgradia.
Balgradia?
Yes.
Oh, well anyway, yeah, spread them.
Just dump it down your throat.
You know they're brand new.
Yes, what an excellent slogan.
Yako liked this very much.
Yeah, you should sell them in your store.
Maybe if I ever get over to Balgradia, maybe I'll pick some up.
Now you boys going to buy anything else?
How much are your Palletraps?
Yeah, I'm just going to see if I can-
My Palletraps are $30.
There's someone undercutting Yako?
Yeah.
I mean-
Back in the last town, they were only 15.
Actually, she's from this town.
Who is it?
Who has Yako got to visit?
She was awfully happy.
Wink, wink.
I feel bad saying the real name because you look really mad and she was kind of nice and
I don't want you to tell her you don't know who I am, do you?
I don't know.
Well, I know that you're Catcher's Boy.
Yep, that's too much information.
He knows that we're all Catcher's Boy.
You're all Catcher's Boy.
That's why you look identical.
I have it now.
Well, if he didn't know before.
We could have totally gotten away with some crazy shoplifting.
No, not from Yako's store.
Well-
Seahorn Attack.
If we buy three of the Palletraps, do you think that we could get a little bit of a
discount because we're buying so many?
Yes, I will give you three for $100.
He takes a long drag from his cigarette.
About five for $100.
Yako is processing.
Can I just get like a 10% discount on one, so like 20 bucks for one and-
Why would I give you that?
It's my birthday.
Okay.
It's all of our birthdays, technically.
I will give you four for $100 if you all succeed in a roll.
Let's roll a D20 and see if you get above a 10.
Four.
18.
Eight.
Too bad, boys.
You're not convincing me today.
Okay.
Here's $30 for one.
Yours is a Palletrap.
Likewise.
Same.
Would you like anything else?
I have lots of stuff, inhalers, steroids, rice balls, sports drinks.
I also have some rancid food and a lure and a laser pointer.
How much is the laser pointer?
The laser pointer would also be $30.
Generally, most things are $30.
And what's the use on this?
One time.
It dies after one use.
Unfortunately, yes.
Do you sell an extra set of batteries?
You know what?
I could.
Do you have anything to like...
$50 and I'll give you two uses.
Do you have anything like bath salts or something so you can bring the POW back from being unconscious?
I do.
Yakko has some mysterious white powder, actually, that would bring it back from unconsciousness
and also recover its full HP.
How much for some of that?
$100 for a bag of mysterious white powder.
Am I buying drugs right now?
What are drugs?
It's PAL medicine.
PAL medicine.
Oh, can I snag $100 from our joint account?
Yeah, sure.
Well, actually, no, you owe me $100 for mom's fucking bill.
So I'll just give it back to $100.
Well, technically we got $1000.
It's only $100 from mom.
So we have $900.
Actually, your mother offered you $100 to share while you wired the rest of it back to her.
We'll just tell her we misunderstood.
Oh, I thought she was giving us $100 each.
So I was thinking...
Oh, I thought she wanted...
So she wanted $700.
So we're sending her $700.
And each of us got $100.
But I'm buying the cocaine.
It is not cocaine.
It is a mysterious white powder.
Yes.
I'm buying the PAL powder.
What if it's a bad kind of mysterious?
PAL powder.
He said it's good.
He said it's great.
Very good.
Yako uses it all the time.
Yako uses it.
On his PALs when they're...
Yeah, yes, yes, exactly.
All right.
How are we dividing this money?
So we each are taking $100, sending $700 back to mom?
Yeah.
I think that's what she said.
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Would you boys be interested in anything else?
No.
Well, okay then.
Can I buy a sports drink, please?
Yes, you can.
$20.
All right.
Here you go.
Now, have you ever thought about adding a rock pet to your personal collection of PALs?
I don't want another rock pet.
I've already got all those Furbos over on the shelf and they didn't sell.
They were a terrible toy.
Wait, you have the Furbo PALs here?
I have a Furbo, yes.
I will gladly give you money and this rock pet for the Furbo.
I've been wanting one of those since I was...
I didn't realize they were...I've always seen the commercials for the toys on the TV and
I didn't understand that they were based on these real creatures.
You're telling me this is a real Furbo?
Go look on the shelf so you're not confused as to what I am telling you I have.
I'm gonna go look on the shelf.
On the back shelf, it's pretty dirty and there's just like empty boxes around, but there are
two Furbos, which are these disgusting looking imitations of PALs.
They have beaks for mouths and their eyes would normally open and close.
However, they both seem like they're half shut and bloodshot.
They're excellent to use to absorb a blow in a battle if you just throw it out onto
the battlefield.
It may protect your pet, but other than that, they're awfully creepy.
How much for one of those little Furbos?
$30.
I want to get rid of them.
Well, if you want to get rid of them, I'll give you $40 for both.
That sounds fair.
All right.
Just get them off my shelf.
Did he just buy a Furby?
Two.
All right.
And he reaches into a bucket of chicken wings after putting out a cigarette and begins to
eat.
Are you boys done here or is there more that I can do for you?
I'm good.
I think that's it.
Well, all right.
Have yourself a good time.
Have yourself a good night.
Bye.
See ya.
George and Poplar, give me a roll.
13.
12.
While the two of you are leaving the store, you each notice that there's a chicken wing
that had fallen out of the bucket that the man was eating and they're laying on the ground.
You determine who gets what.
Bucket o' wings.
Yeah, you take the wing.
I get the drum.
I'm older.
I didn't read what it does.
I don't know.
This one permanently raises one pals use of one move by two.
Permanently increases one pals attributes all by one.
Oh.
Permanently?
For real?
Like a permanent boost?
All right, guys, I think there's only one thing left to do.
Yeah, I'm going to feed this chicken dumpling to this chicken thing to my squirrel.
And then after that, there's one thing we should go to the strong boy center.
I for one think that I am a very strong boy.
Well, I'm not.
I'm a man now.
So we should be able to easily defeat the strong boys.
We are nine year old men.
Adults.
That's good logic there, Maple.
I, you know, I wasn't sure at first, but I agree we should go beat up these boys now
that we're men.
As you leave the store and you stand outside the strong person center staring, debating
what your next steps are.
The night falls dark and the lights go out at the strong boy center.
And that's where we're going to end it for today.
Awesome.
We will see you next next Tuesday.
Tales from the Crit is part of the Wolfbeard Games podcast network.
We hope you've enjoyed today's episode.
And if you have, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts.
To stay up to date on any news about the podcast, follow us on Instagram at Tales from the Crit
podcast.
Check out our YouTube channel with the same name and most importantly, tell a friend.
What is the current HP?
11.
Think of it as TMS, I guess from the Pokemon.
TM TM TM.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't remember.
They're just moves that you're like here, Pokemon, learn this.
Oh.
And if it's the right type.
Yeah.
I remember that portion of it.
I just don't remember TMS.
Oh, that's how they pronounce my name down south.
TM TM.
Awesome.
Shocker.
Hit that button.
I guess it'd be the one all the way in the bottom left that time.
Yeah, that'd be the laugh track.
Oh, middle one.
I mean, middle bottom.
Is that the want want?
Because it's electric.
Unfortunately, the loglet is.
Fuck I feel bad, man.
My brain is crying right now.
It's so hot in this room.
I'm just desperately holding on.
Why don't you ask to open a window?
Yeah.
Keep going.
You're doing the right thing.
Or maybe not.
Maybe go.
It's stuff.
That's what she said.
It's hot and it's stiff in here.
I'm having a hard time wanting to fight a cat.
What the fuck is that?
Looks like Lady Grimace.
It looks like Pac-Man Ghost meets fucking something weird.
It's perfect.
I know exactly what these are.
I can still hear it.
Boys to men.
I cannot believe you got that reference in there.
It was right there.
I didn't even see it.