Welcome, my little critters, to Tales from the Crit Season 2, The Level Up.
We're an actual play podcast with an ever-changing cast of players making our way through a bunch
of different RPGs systems, from micro-RPGs to some of the more well-known role-playing
games out there, and the occasional highly narrative tabletop game.
Content warnings can be found in the episode's description.
My name is Riley Groves, and I am the Crit Keeper on this episode of Tales from the Crit.
Previously, on Tales from the Crit.
Triplets Maple, Poplar, and George awaken on their ninth birthday.
Little do they know that this day is one that will change their lives forever.
Now that they're nine years old and have hit adulthood, their mother expects them to
set out to forge their own destinies.
The first step of their journey takes them out of their hometown of Wingdale for the
first time in their lives to go visit the next town over, Chillyville, and sell their
mother's famous cookies.
Before they left, Dr. Woodtree, a local scientist and doctor, has given the boys some gifts,
their first pals.
With their newfound fighting friends in tow, the trio sets out to meet new people, find
more pals, and have a grand adventure.
Welcome back to Tales from the Crit.
Before we get playing our game today, I have Tim at the table.
Howdy.
Connor at the table.
Hello.
And Stefan at the table.
Hola.
Reprising their roles as Maple, George, and Poplar.
But before we get playing our very super special homebrewed game today, we're going to get
to know each other a little bit better using a question from our pod deck, interview deck,
and that question is, what are you superstitious about?
So I know this is going to seem kind of weird.
So like planetary alignment.
Okay.
Like solstices, star locations, and like, astrology?
Yeah, like astrology stuff.
Like for me personally, like I've had things like full moons.
Usually I have a lot of energy around that time of the fucking whenever it happens.
And like it literally makes it so that I can't sleep.
I have lucid dreams on certain moon phases.
Like I believe that like there's powers working inside of things that we don't understand.
Very interesting.
Connor, what about you?
I don't think that I'm really have many or any superstitions, but kind of in line with
what Stefan just said.
I have given more thought lately to how there's probably lots of things that we don't understand.
And I wouldn't be surprised if there was more to planetary alignment or just other things
of, you know, how nature is aligned with itself that might have more to it than we're currently
able to measure.
But I do find myself to be very scientifically minded and a lot of superstitions are things
that can't be measured in means that we typically think of measuring things.
But I do believe that we probably aren't able to measure everything that can be measured
at this point, which could explain some superstitions or some paranormal things.
All right, yeah.
I guess, you know, when things are going swell, I am prone to attempt at not acknowledging
it.
And if I do, I do feel that I must indulge myself by knocking on some wood.
Okay.
Otherwise there goes the good streak.
Ah, gotcha.
Solid.
For myself, I'm not really superstitious.
I don't do any of those things, but I do have like, I follow gut feelings.
That's my one.
If something tells me, hey, I should take this route instead of another, yeah, I'm all
for it.
I'll divert my path from my original trajectory.
Stuff like that really gets me.
So you don't like bang your like roof at like a, when you're running a yellow light so that
doesn't turn red type.
No, I don't.
You don't even like those things.
No.
Oh yeah.
It's like a fun little thing.
It freaks everybody out in the car.
You're going through a yellow light that's turning red and you just, bam, smoke the roof
and everybody kind of jumps a little bit and they're like, what the fuck's going on?
See I think I drive a bit more aligned like Tim does, which is rather around the speed
that I'm supposed to be going.
So I drive way too much for work.
I don't try to get tickets.
What is the superstition behind punching the roof of the car?
And it's when you're going under a yellow light.
Yeah.
So the light doesn't change.
Oh, that's the superstition.
Yeah.
So one time I was going to Bombers and the person who was driving the car did that and
we're like, what's that?
You know if someone else is in the car and they don't or something, they owe you good
sex or you're going to get good sex for a long time.
And I was like, that's a weird superstition having to do with going through the cars.
And this person was also a former teacher that we had all had who was in the car.
It's like, this is a weird conversation to be in.
That is very weird.
That would make me not do what they were saying 100%.
I was like, and superstition, just I'm done with that one.
Solid.
All right.
Let's get playing.
This doesn't sound good.
We got to run over there, Pop.
Make sure the maple's okay.
Did he say flip?
And I say, maybe.
Tell me a joke.
Suddenly the other one who's a female goes, I want to juggle you.
Tell me a joke.
And then they each throw out a pal and in front of you is one rock pet and one skeeter.
Do either of you want to help out here?
Are you going to leave maple to it?
Oh no, I'm running in and throwing my seahorn out.
Yeah, I'm throwing my turducken too.
No one's getting flipped over here.
So how the initiative, if you want to call it that, is going to go, it's going to go
down the order of highest agility to lowest.
So who has the highest?
I have an 11.
Nine.
Six.
Okay.
So it's going to go turducken.
Turducken, then ewook, then circus folk dawns skeeter and then seahorn and then circus folk
dance rock pet.
So I know like off of seeing the ewook, like you have fighting a bit, like that little
teddy bear can fight better than like mine because I don't really have attacks.
I'm actually like a support creature.
I don't know, I didn't read it.
It would just like trade with me and I was like, before I get attached here.
Do you guys want to take a second and tell each other what you can do?
I think it'd be a great idea.
The listeners might appreciate it too since it's all original content.
That is true.
All right.
So let's do a rundown of what your different pals could do.
Why don't you tell us what the turducken does first?
So it seems like it's mostly like supporting.
It's like birdsong which boosts one target's accuracy.
It's got a pack which is pretty weak.
Sparkle which boosts one's target's abilities, all of them.
And then charge which special attack reduces target's accuracy.
Okay.
What's seahorn do?
So the seahorn has a horn smash attack which is a normal attack that does 1d6 damage.
Icecube which I had used where it does attack one target for minus one defense and it's
a special attack.
We've got squirt, the water type attack that does 1d4 damage.
And slipslop, boosts its own agility.
Okay.
I have spark, an electric attack, 1d4 damage.
Natural camo, boosts own defense by one.
Trollkick, a normal attack, 1d6 damage.
And pitfall, a special attack, reduces target's attributes.
Alright.
Reduces all the attributes?
That's pretty cool.
Yeah I have decided for those who are wondering, picture kind of a gingerbread cookie in your
head but it's like got scales and flipper type feet and this weird stiff abrasion of
skin over the back of the head and around the facial area.
So it's more of a humanoid lizard type creature with flipper type feet.
I think he was going for hair with the scales.
But it's my imagination Stefan.
That is true.
This is how I see it.
This is so much worse.
This is your special Ewook.
Whatever you want it to look like.
I just want it to be more terrifying than originally thought.
It's not cute and cuddly.
It's this offensive snake lizard man thing.
Is this some animal thing or is it a weird evolution of man that has been captured in
a forested fire?
You are the less intelligent humanoid.
You must battle for me.
By the way I am an adult.
Nine.
Oh god.
Alright so the Turducken's up.
Alright so I'm gonna I'll use a bird song and I'll increase the accuracy for Ewook.
That's a boost?
Yeah it says boost one targets accuracy.
Okay so for a boost it has slightly different rules.
You're gonna roll one D10 and try to get under your agility.
Yeah you definitely roll under the Turducken's 11 agility so you are able to boost the Ewook's
accuracy.
So on your next attack you're going to be able to roll your attack dice twice and take
the higher score.
Cool.
And I do believe it is the Ewook's turn.
Alright I am going to fight the not the rock thing.
Okay the giant skeeter.
Just like a mosquito only huge.
Perfect.
That is the only description I can give because that is exactly what it is.
I feel that something that would get its attention and do a good amount of damage would be Spark
the electric attack.
Like one of those bug zappers.
So that's a 1 D4 damage.
Okay so roll for you to see if you hit first.
So that's a D6 plus my strength.
Yep.
That's gonna be a 13.
Okay and you can actually roll twice and take the higher one.
Oh that's gonna be a 17.
Nice what did you roll?
I just rolled a 6 that time plus my 11 strength.
Okay so roll for damage.
Alright it's gonna be 1 D4.
Three.
You send a shower of sparks at the skeeter and you see a well placed hit and its wings
begin to crisp up and it recoils.
As it's now its turn it flaps its wings and comes flying right back for your Ewook.
Does a 14 beat your strength?
Yes.
Okay.
It's going to reduce your highest attribute by 1 as it delivers a nasty disease into your
bloodstream.
And does it stay in effect until healed?
Once you're out of battle it will revert to normal.
Okay.
And then it is the Seahorn's turn.
Okay Seahorn you've seen one of these before.
Hit that rock with your squirt attack.
That's a special attack.
Oh no it's just a water attack.
So is it a D6 plus my strength?
Yep.
It's a 10.
That definitely hits.
Okay.
Does 3 damage?
Okay.
Water damage.
Oh and it's a rock so it doubles that.
And you soak this rock and you watch its googly eyes go spinning around in circles.
In retaliation it hurls itself psychically.
Does a 9 beat your defense?
No.
It hurls itself psychically and completely misses, actually landing between the three
of you before it whips itself back into its starting position with its mind and its eyes
go swirling in circles.
And it is the Turducken's turn once again.
Um, turkey attack mosquito with peck.
Okay.
That's 11.
And 11 hits yeah.
And 1 damage.
1 damage?
Well it is also a bug type being attacked by a bird type so you do double damage which
is the exact amount of HP that this skeeter has and it falls from the sky, its eyes lifeless
and it reverts back into its owner's paltrap.
I didn't know that was a thing.
Way to go pups!
Yeah I forgot that I have a normal electric Pokemon and I was doing normal against bug
damage so it should have been doubled.
It is on here?
Yeah no I just saw it.
Oh.
It was like oh man I should have read that.
My bad I didn't read it.
No no I think it's I should have known I didn't realize the attributes were there I was like
oh yeah.
Yeah so on your rule sheet there at the bottom it shows you what your strengths and weaknesses
are.
I use a chart like this daily playing the other game go on the mobile.
Nice.
Like constantly looking at what I need to just make it as fast as possible.
Right on.
So yeah I very much enjoy a list like that.
It is now the Ewook's turn and the single opponent is the Rockbat.
Which is what type?
Psychic and Rock.
Awesome.
Okay I'm gonna drop kick it which is a normal attack so d6 plus my strength which is minus
one so it's at a ten right now plus two is twelve.
Okay that hits.
Alright so I'm gonna roll d6 for attack five but it's normal against psychic.
So it does double damage and you watch the Rock's googly eyes spin in three circles before
it sinks to the ground and gets sucked back into circus folk dance.
Here's the punch line.
I win.
Well rats this place sucks.
Back to the circus for us.
And they go storming off into the woods.
Each of you take seven experience points for your pals.
Why did they attack us?
Because they saw Maple and they thought they had a chance.
Good job brothers we showed them what was up.
You look just leveled up to level two.
I thought they started at level five.
Why was I level five?
Oh where's the level?
Oh I'm at level five.
I just assumed because there was a one.
That's where we were at baby.
Alright so my bad level five.
They're at level five yeah so you have a ways to go.
Yeah I got further to go sorry for the false alarm.
I was just so excited.
I was very excited too.
Where do you find the leveling?
Page three.
Oh there's a third page.
Huh what the?
That's grasshopper.
Grasshopper.
Is it under your map?
Yes.
Maple because you landed the last blow why don't you go ahead and roll a D100?
Do I roll a D10 with it?
Nope.
We'll just keep it a round.
Nice round numbers.
70.
Alright these three throw 210 dollars onto the ground as they roll as they run away.
Nope 210.
There's two of them 140 dollars onto the ground as they run away and you guys are able to
split that however you wish.
If you wish.
You don't have to.
I guess.
We just leave it there and don't touch it because it's not easily divisible by three.
Just just just pick it up and put it in your pack.
It's our birthday.
You're not running away from us are you?
You wouldn't survive out there.
That's what mom always said about dad.
I can't believe you'd say that about me.
You know that I don't drink milk.
I'll never leave for the milk.
George you want to take the money?
Sure.
George can carry the money.
George seems like...
I'll take everybody's money if you want.
No I'm keeping the 50 bucks mom gave me.
I'm gonna go buy something fun.
I thought it was a hundred.
I thought she gave us 50.
Fifty each.
Yeah.
Oh.
And then we just picked up a hundred and forty.
Cool.
And you'll get a hundred when you sell the donuts.
She'll let you keep a hundred.
Not the donuts.
When you sell the cookies.
She was gonna let you keep a hundred.
Well if anyone knows from the last cookie selling podcast I was in, I wasn't so good
at the selling cookies part.
That is true.
And with that you guys are gonna move out of area three and into area four where you
once again have a free turn to look for items or look for pals.
That's right.
I haven't caught one yet.
I'm gonna keep searching.
I am determined that I need to find another one.
Okay.
Roll me a d20.
Eight.
So my question is, is if like, can we, you think we can get two of them to come out if
we both look for one at the same time?
Maybe.
Let's try.
We're both gonna.
We're gonna fight each other.
I got an eight.
I got a nat 20.
Okay.
George, you're kicking around over near maple and neither of you seem to find the grass
with the pals in it.
However, Poplar, you are able to stir up another one.
Why don't you roll me a d8 so we can find out which one it is.
That's a 10.
Damn it.
Which one's the eight?
That's a seven.
So you're kicking around and you're stub your toe into a very large rock.
And it spins and it's googly eyes rolling circles as it looks up to you.
And it's mouth just curves into a large smile.
Guys, I found another one of the rocks.
Oh man.
Pet rock.
Get this one.
You can do it this time.
Catch it.
Keep it.
Capture it.
Like our last name.
All right.
Be true to yourself.
I got 11 for agility.
I'm assuming I'm going for rock.
You definitely go first.
The rock pet's got an agility of three.
All right.
Turducken Peck Attack.
That's a fucking eight.
An eight does hit.
Yep.
Amazing.
One.
Okay.
It's not super effective.
It's not very effective against the rock.
Just kind of peck your beak against it.
Bird pecking a rock.
Exactly.
And the rock, maybe this time it'll hit, hurls itself at your turducken psychically.
Does a 12 hit?
Oh yeah.
This rock slams into your hand turkey's face doing three damage.
Turkey no.
Should have caught it like a catcher's mitt.
Oh, that'd been awesome.
Just turned sideways.
Maybe once you level it up some more.
Guys, I don't really fight rocks very well, but Maple, George, anybody?
Yeah.
Ewok is definitely going to go over there and give it an attack there.
Okay.
So Ewok's going to join in and go second because your agility is second highest.
So turducken goes first.
10 for a peck.
That hits.
Four for damage.
All right.
And it is the Ewok's turn.
The rock pet is looking like it's lost about half its luster here to fight.
Does anyone have a rock pet?
No, I got a grasshopper.
So I do not know statistics.
I haven't been listening to count the math either.
It's okay.
There's actually no way of knowing.
So all right.
There's no health bar in real life.
I'm going to attack it with spark.
13.
Yeah, that hits.
Two.
Okay.
It's the electric attack on the rock.
You shower the rock with these sparks and it does some damage, but it's definitely not
the more effective element against it.
The rock shimmies or the rock pet shimmies in the ground and closes its googly eyes for
about six seconds and suddenly it looks a little brighter and it's smile a little wider
when it opens them back up.
I'm going to jump into battle too.
Okay.
Let's have you go now.
Okay.
And then you'll be third in the order on your turn.
I'm telling you guys with these rocks, you got to hit them with the water attacks.
Seahorn show them how it's done with a squirt.
That's a 13.
Yeah, that hits.
And a one.
Okay.
So that does two.
We're getting there.
All right.
It looks just about like it did before it closed its eyes and it's the Turducken's turn
again.
I thought, Maple, you wanted a new pet, didn't you?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I'm trying to catch this one.
That's why I-
Yeah.
I'll see if I can catch it for you.
I could have had Ewook do his special, which would have probably broken into powder or
something.
So-
I'll try to catch it for you.
That's a d20.
Yeah.
Throw a ball, right?
Is that what it says?
It says roll a d20 versus Pals-
Oh shit.
I was using a d10.
Staff plus HP.
Am I supposed to use a d10?
I don't know.
I guess I don't have one in front of me.
Does it say d10 or d20?
It says d20 on mine.
Oh shit.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's a one d20 versus Pals strength and health points.
Right on.
I thought it was a d10.
I apologize.
I've lied about the rules now the entire time.
I'll roll a d10.
Okay.
Now we'll go with a d20.
I owe you some Pals probably.
That's all right from that.
So go ahead and roll a d20.
17.
I only threw one Paltrap, so-
Right on.
Maybe we both just found a Paltrap.
You know what?
That sounds fair after this.
So you throw your Paltrap.
Is this your second one?
Yeah, this is my last one.
Okay.
It hits and it hovers above the rock pet for a second and you see it become a beam of light
and it goes inside.
The Paltrap hits the ground, shakes three times and then ceases.
And the rock pet is yours.
Everybody can gain four XP.
Maple, you want this beat up rock?
Yes, please.
Here you go, buddy.
Give me your 50 bucks.
No.
I'll give you this normal rock I just found on the ground.
Just take the rock.
It currently has an HP of two.
And as you guys are kicking around over here, you do find each of you another Paltrap, except
for Poplar does not find a Paltrap.
For the table where it says XP needed, so from level two to three, do you need to get
an additional 15 experience or just when your total experience hits 15?
It resets.
So every level-
Yep.
That's what you have to hit.
So I think it's 40 for a level five to level six.
I'm going to feed my grasshopper one of the sports drinks that says pound me.
Your grasshopper is completely unconscious.
Oh, it's unconscious.
It won't even take it.
It won't.
I'm just shoving a cannon into its mouth.
I would like to give a sports drink to rock pet.
Okay.
And what does the sports drink do?
Recover 10 HP for one pal.
The HP is 12, but it's currently two, so I'm going to put it back up to 12.
Nice.
Huzzah.
And with that, this area of the map seems to be exhausted and you move forward into
area five.
All right.
Let's see if there's any pals in this area.
Is that a D10?
It's a D20.
This one's been rolling really good for me.
Don't touch it.
Well, I rolled a two.
Shucks.
All right.
I am going to kick the weeds.
Look for a pal.
Okay.
Let's see a D20.
Three.
Curse on these dice.
I'm going to look for an item.
Okay.
And are you looking for a pal or an item?
Item.
An item.
Cool.
Give me another D20 roll.
A seven.
You do find a bottle on the ground that says pal attractant on it.
You open the top and it's very sweet smelling.
On the back it says this is lure and will attract more pals.
Okay.
As you guys are walking around this area, suddenly you hear a person whistling as they
come up the trail from the other direction.
And it's a woman.
She's dressed in a awkward white nurse's outfit and she carries a large bag.
She goes strolling through the middle of this area and she...
Good morning boys.
How are you?
Good morning.
Technically we're men now.
Most excellent.
I'm Nurse Happy.
Hello Nurse Happy.
My name is Maple.
Nice to meet you, Maple.
These are my triplet brothers and it's our birthday today.
Oh, that's fantastic.
Yeah.
And what are you doing way out here?
Well, we're just visiting everyone so they can give us gifts for our birthday.
Interesting.
You must come from Wingdale.
We do come from Wingdale.
How'd you know?
It seems to be the only place that's this direction.
It's a good guess.
Yes.
It is behind us.
It is.
That's where I'm headed.
Only for a short bit to go see the doctor.
Oh.
You know Dr. Woodtree?
I do.
How do you know Dr. Woodtree?
We work together on several projects.
Oh.
Well he gave us these pals this morning as his present to us.
Excellent.
I hope you take good care of them.
Would you mind looking at mine?
He looks a little tired.
Yeah, sure.
Let me see.
Oh yes, he looks a little beat up here.
You'll have to take him to the PAL Center.
The PAL Center?
Yeah.
Oh.
I just assumed because you were in the attire of a nurse that you would be able to help.
I don't have the right equipment here, but I do have some stuff that you could buy that
may help.
Oh.
Okay.
What do you have?
Oh, here.
Look at my satchel.
And she opens up her satchel and she has about eight items.
She has some sports drinks in there, a few rice balls wrapped up in plastic wrap.
She has a few loose PAL traps in there, a laser pointer, just like the bottle that Poplar
just picked up, a half-filled needle, some rotten looking food, and an inhaler.
All of this is very helpful.
Well, I think that some of that would be a great birthday present for us.
Yeah, thank you.
And I reach for the bag.
Oh, you can't have them all.
That's for sure.
Oh.
I'm so confused.
Why were you...
Is she a real nurse?
These aren't your presents for us?
They're not presents.
Dude, this is the second person today who didn't have presents for us.
The first person tried to attack us.
Are you going to attack us too?
I can assure you that I'm not here to attack you.
I'm here to sell you stuff, maybe.
How much is it for a sports drink?
20 bucks.
How much is it with my birthday discount?
I'll tell you what, because it's your birthday, I'll give you all the chance to put one thing
out of my bag for free.
Okay.
This one.
Okay.
Roll...
I mean, roll a d20 for me.
Is it like a grab bag situation here, or like I can actually look at what I'm going to
grab?
A five.
Okay.
An 18.
A 12.
Okay, because two of you were successful out of the three, you can each get one item out
of her bag.
I'm taking the inhaler.
This is going to increase your pal's agility score by five for one battle.
Oh, I didn't know what it actually did.
I figured person walking through the woods with an inhaler, I'm taking her inhaler.
Good thing it's not for me.
She also has a laser pointer, which will either let you improve your pal's accuracy on its
next attack or decrease an opponent's accuracy on its next attack.
She has half used steroids, which will increase your pal's strength by five for one battle.
She has a bottle of lure, which we already know what that does.
The rancid food reduces a non-owned pal's strength by three.
And then she also has some pal traps and some sports strengths.
I'll take a sports drink, please.
Here you go.
And I'll take the lure.
It seems like you need it.
All right, well, the rest will cost you.
Do you boys want anything else before I go?
How much for a pal trap?
20 bucks.
All right, I'll take one.
I'm out anyway.
I would also like a pal trap, please.
You got it.
Why don't I take those out of the 140 that we got from that other person?
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, take it out of that 140.
I don't want to get to do math, too.
You want one, too?
Yeah.
So, you want $20 out of that 140 we got from the clowns?
Yeah.
Sounds great.
Perfect.
Here you go.
Those are tech-mishappies.
Anything else I can do for you boys before I go?
Say hello to the old man for us.
Okay.
Do you mean the doctor?
Yeah, Dr. Old Man.
I don't know if he was a doctor.
I don't think he was a doctor.
Did he do doctor things to you?
The wizard?
Say hi to everybody.
Especially our mom who kicked us out this morning because we're nine.
Oh, yeah.
Time to strike out on your own.
Totally acceptable and normal.
Perfect.
I'll stop by and say hi and I'll eat one of her cookies.
But not one of these ones.
We got to go sell these ones.
Ooh.
You guard those carefully.
The road gets more dangerous up ahead.
What do you mean it gets more dangerous?
There's lots of people up there.
Bad people?
Well, they tried to fight me, but I said, I'm Nurse Happy.
Okay.
And that's where that conversation ended.
Okay.
They know not to fight me.
All right.
That's good information to know.
Yeah.
Thanks for letting us know.
All right, boys.
You have a grand old day.
Okay.
Bye.
Happy birthday.
Oh, yes.
Happy birthday, boys.
Thanks.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
That's a weird way to end a conversation.
Yeah.
I can tell that she works with that other guy.
It's nice she let us know what the password is up ahead so we can get through though.
I agree with that.
I don't think she was a nurse.
I'm just going to keep walking away.
But it's not Halloween for another few months.
Yeah, exactly.
So she'd have to be a real nurse.
Look at what she had in her bag.
Some rotten food.
Bad food, drugs, balls, drinks, nurse's outfit before Halloween.
We'd go to see a doctor in our town, but we'd never really leave.
I don't know.
I've never really seen a nurse before.
Just Dr. Woodshree.
He was a doctor and a nurse.
And a scholar.
And a gentleman, says Mother.
She does refer to him as the gentleman every time he calls.
The three of you and Nurse Happy leave this section going different directions.
And you make your way to areas six.
We're going to take a quick break to listen to an ad for another show on Wolfbeard Games
podcast network that you are sure to love.
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This is my drive-in movie theater.
And remember that every spot is the best on the lot.
When you enter Area 6, you notice that there is a large lake that has a small beach right
off the side of this clearing with some tall grass.
And in the water, you can see two people swimming.
One male, one female.
Ooh la la.
Should we go peek at them?
I'm a nine-year-old adult.
This seems like a reasonable question.
Are they swimming like a couple or are they just swimming around?
They're pretty close.
They're definitely together.
Like hot tub couple, like hot tub together or like...
Maybe this is what they mean by private beach.
Maybe we're not supposed to be here.
Maybe they're just looking for some pals in the water.
Oh, water pals.
They don't want to be too far from each other and get cornered by the pals.
George has a water pal.
We should go look for more water pals.
Yo, send your water pal to bite them.
It can't bite, but it can smash.
I heard it.
With that horn.
With the horn.
Yeah, let's go check out the beach.
You want to go to the beach?
You look like you want to go to the beach.
I want to see if I can catch a water pal.
Okay.
So you head to the beach?
Oh yeah.
All right.
As you get to the edge of the water, these two spin around and you notice that they're
not wearing any clothes.
And the girl yells out, you creep, I'm going to kick your ass.
And she storms out of the water and grabs a towel and picks up a pal trap from her pocketbook.
I don't fit in there.
You don't.
And she throws it at the ground and out of it comes a leaflet.
As you can remember from Mr. Old Man, it is a bundle of leaves that whirls itself into
a tornado.
And in front of you is this swirling plant type pal.
Wait, if they are both, they're, they're both naked.
There's going to be a naked man coming out of that water.
Go Ewook.
Okay.
The leaflet has an agility of three.
Nine.
Okay.
So the Ewook is going to go first.
All right.
So I want to use, we're on the beach, we're not in the water.
Correct.
All right.
I am going to use natural camo to boost my own defense by one.
Okay.
So you're going to roll a D10 and try to come under your agility score.
Three.
All right.
So go ahead and give yourself a boost that by one.
How long is that for?
The remainder of the fight, unless it gets altered.
Sweet.
The leaflet begins to bluster itself up and turns into a large cloud of leaves and it
uses some wind to hurl itself at your Ewook.
Does a five beat your strength score?
No, strength of 11.
Okay.
It fails its bluster attack and it regroups into its spiraling.
Ewook is going to use spark against the leaf.
Okay.
It's an electric attack.
I'll roll my D6 first.
D6 plus strength.
14.
Yeah, that definitely hits.
Rolled a three.
So I'm going to roll a D4 and two damage.
All right.
Solid.
This time this thing shoots several leaves out at you.
Does a nine beat your defense?
Yes.
Okay.
It's deconstructed paper cut attack hits you for four damage.
I'd like to use an item for my turn.
Okay.
I'd like to use the sports drink to add 10 HP to Ewook, bringing him from four up to
14.
All right.
George, you think I should help him?
You should get in there and help him, yeah.
See if your introduction can pump up the Ewook.
Are you joining the fight?
Yeah, I'll join in.
Okay.
You're going to go at the top of the order.
So does a 10 hit your Ewook?
Defense?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Seven.
It shoots several more of these deconstructed paper cut razor leafs out at you and it does
another two damage.
And then it would be the Turducken's turn.
I'm going to have the Turducken do a pack attack against it and try to eat some of the
leaves for him.
14.
14 hits.
Four.
Okay.
And then because you are a bird attacking a plant, it does double damage.
And as you send your hand turkey Turducken in to pack this pile of leaves, it does so
and the leaves fall to the ground before being absorbed back into Skinny Dipper Tammy's paltrout.
Nice.
That wasn't very nice.
And her brother storms out of the water.
You know, we've been through an awful lot this year and we didn't need this.
And he goes over and gets his towel and picks up a paltrap and throws it out.
And from it emerges a small frog.
It's my birthday and this is the worst present ever.
It's also my birthday.
And I agree.
This is a terrible present.
And I throw my paltrap out and unleash my seahorn.
Okay.
So all three of you are throwing out your pals now.
Yes.
Okay.
Are you concerned that their family members swim in together?
They didn't have bathing suits and made do.
Oh.
Hmm.
We're not going skinny dipping after this, right?
It says on that sign over there, you have to move your clothes so that the undertow doesn't
drown you.
Okay.
But we're not going skinny dipping after this.
I wasn't planning on going in the water.
Just next to it.
Okay.
Yeah.
We could just throw a stick or have Ewook go splash around in the shallow end to stir
up some pals.
But I don't think we actually need to do what that sign says.
Or we could just disobey the sign and then find out for ourselves if there's actually
an undertow.
Maybe there's not.
Maybe they just looks around them, looks for binoculars.
Maybe it's not a real sign.
I wonder if Mr. Oldman comes this far up north.
He probably could be another kind of trap.
I have a feeling it is.
Okay.
The frog's agility is three, so I'm assuming it goes Turducken, Ewook, Seahorn, Bog Frog.
Yeah, I've got six agility.
Okay.
There in front of you is a white and black speckled frog, and it takes a deep breath
in and puffs itself up to twice its size.
However, the Turducken is going to get the first move.
I'm going to have the Turducken do its special, which is charge reduced targets accuracy.
Okay.
And it's going to obviously target the frog, so it's going to charge the frog.
I don't know what I roll.
Okay.
So you roll agility plus one d6 and try to beat its strike score.
That's a 14.
Okay.
That definitely hits.
And so what does that decrease?
Reduces targets accuracy.
Okay.
Awesome.
Ewook.
All right.
I am going to use Spark and electric attack.
So I'll roll a d6, which I got a six plus my 11 is a 17.
All right.
So when you roll max damage, has anyone else rolled max damage yet?
I don't think so.
Not max damage.
Max damage, yeah, but not max like roll.
Okay.
Like going forward on a crit on max damage, your dice is going to explode.
So you're actually going to roll it again and add that to your attack.
So right now you're already doing 12 because it's electric move against a water type.
Go ahead and roll that d6 again.
Oh, the d6 was just the, uh, oh, to hit, to hit.
Yeah.
Right.
My bad.
What did you roll to hit?
Oh, four.
So that will still apply because that was a d4 is rolled.
So I did crit.
Okay.
Awesome.
So you do, do eight damage.
Go ahead and roll that d4 again.
Two.
All right.
So you do a total of 10 damage and it's super effective against this bog frog and those
sparks light up its tiny little frog body and it quickly collapses and reverts back
into skinny dipper Tommy's pal trap.
And each of you take three XP.
All right.
Don't you folks know you should always keep your clothes on in the water?
There's wild pals out here.
What we didn't think about that, we were just having a nice time enjoying a swim after a
hard year.
Speaking of wild pals, here's a towel.
Thank you.
I needed this.
This one was way too small.
It was so small.
I didn't even see it.
Anyways, free your birthday.
The towel.
Thank you for clarifying.
I was ashamed there for a moment and embarrassed.
I just didn't see your towel.
Well, here's a birthday present.
Or a reason to wear one.
Oh God.
You guys are kind of mean.
Because you're really handsome.
I don't do that.
I take it back.
I'm a nine year old adult now.
You can't look at me like that.
Even though I am an adult.
I'm a nine year old adult and we all know the rules on nine year old adults.
Well, is a nine year old too old to use this kid's fishing pole?
Did I say nine year old adult?
I meant adult.
Yes, I can use that fishing pole.
Okay.
Well, here you go.
Happy birthday, kids.
Sorry you had to beat us up.
That was really mean of you.
Well, she did attack us first.
We were just coming over here to look for more pals.
You were being creepy.
No, you were being creepy.
We weren't the ones out in public in, you know, without the clothes on.
You could have just stayed in the water.
You didn't have to come out.
It's true.
Exposure is nine tenths of the law.
And you would know that because you're nine.
Yes.
And they both have a nine.
Anyways, we're out of here.
And that's also why the nine tenths law is what applies to today.
But next year, when I'm a 10 year old adult, we know what that means.
Do we get any money from them?
Get a fishing pole.
I don't know if they're going to drop money when they leave for you guys.
As they had very little clothes, it seems the fishing pole is the only thing they had
with them.
Wait, where did this fishing pole come from?
It was sitting here on the beach.
Oh.
With their towels.
Oh, next to the purse.
Right.
Precisely.
But now you guys can explore this area if you'd like.
I'm going to go send Ewok to splash around in the shallow end and see if I can stir up
some fish pals.
OK.
Give me a D20.
18.
The Ewok goes in stomping around, stirring up all these different pals that may be in
there.
And do you use the kids fishing pole as well?
Yes.
OK.
You cast it in there and give me a D8 to see what you catch.
My pal there is doing what we call driving the fish toward where my fishing lure is.
I got a one.
You feel a tugging at the end of your pole.
Go on.
And it's a feeling you've never felt before.
Continue.
It's almost electric feeling.
It lights your hands up.
And it feels amazing for a moment before a shock goes through.
And as you yank on it, out comes a buzz eel.
And this is an electric and water type eel.
And as it lays on the beach fighting your fishing hook out of its mouth, it angrily
spits it out and it gnashes its monstrative jaws together and stares down your Ewok preparing
to fight.
I was certain it was going to swallow.
All right.
Water.
Electric.
So they're both electric.
So that's interesting.
I can't believe they were swimming around naked with things like that in the water.
I was trying to tell them and they were mad at us.
We just walked into the path.
Is this one of those things where you catch a goldfish and it's just they're going goldfish,
goldfish, goldfish, goldfish, goldfish and you just go, I'm going to leave and walk away.
No, it has actual moves.
So.
OK.
All right.
I'll do a pitfall.
A special attack that reduces the target's attributes.
Yeah, that's super rad.
OK.
So a special attack that's going to add your agility plus one d6.
Four plus my agility of nine.
Thirteen.
Yeah, that definitely succeeds in reducing its attributes by one.
Awesome.
The Buzzyl's body begins to light up from the tail to the head and it starts slow, but
then begins to rapidly increase in speed and it's throwing off little sparks and lights
everywhere.
And it is trying to do a light show, which is a special attack to reduce your agility
by one.
Does a five beat your strength?
No, I have an 11.
Your Ewook is unaffected.
All right.
I'm going to go for a normal attack.
My drop kick move.
So attack d6, which I rolled a five plus my strength of 11 and a 16.
Yeah, that hits the Buzzyl's defense.
All right.
So we'll roll a d6 for damage.
I got a three.
Can I throw my...
Oh, wait, yeah, which one?
On your turning.
You can.
Sure.
The Eel lights up and shoots a small lightning bolt at your Ewook.
Does a four hit your defense?
No.
If you're unaffected, the lightning kind of lands around your Ewook, not hitting it at
all.
My Ewook is electric, so it's definitely not wouldn't be affected very much.
I'm going to throw a I'm going to throw a pal trap.
Okay.
Give me a d20 roll.
Nine.
You throw the trap and it shakes three times.
Once it consumes the Buzzyl before it stops.
And you now have a Buzzyl.
You can gain one XP.
Awesome.
So how many do you have now?
This will be my third, so I can't carry any more.
Does anyone want a Buzzyl?
Probably going to return it.
Kind of do one of those release and capture things.
Capture and release?
Why would you capture it then?
If you didn't want it.
I'll take it.
I can go with my other water pal.
They can be friends.
Fish friends.
Here, I'll even trade you.
Oh, you didn't have to do that.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay.
One pal trap for one Buzzyl.
Does everybody now have two or seven?
Do you have three?
I have two.
Okay.
And George and Poplar, you each have a turn.
All right.
I'm going to play around on the beach looking for like things in the sand.
Sand crabs.
Are you looking for pals or items?
I'm looking for a pal.
That's a 17.
Will you roll me one d8?
Six.
While you're looking down, searching for crabs, you feel the wind blow up the back of your
hair and you recognize the feeling.
And as you look up, you see another menacing peck it with its swirling eyes and its red
spotted be staring at you menacingly.
I'm going to throw out the Turducken to grab the packet.
I want to catch the packet too.
All right.
The packet has an agility of eight, so I think your Turducken is going to go first.
Yeah.
11.
Peck attack.
Five and seven.
That's 13.
Yep.
A 13 is a successful hit on this packet.
That's one d4 damage.
Two.
You successfully peck this packet and it lets out a menacing squawk.
Does an 11 beat your strength?
Yes.
Okay.
You're going to reduce your defense by one.
And it seems the Turducken is a little shook by this life draining woodpeckers squawk.
I'm going to have an attack again.
10.
Okay.
10 hits.
And three.
You land another good packet and the packet goes falling out of the sky, hitting the ground
for a moment before regaining its stature and pulling itself back up.
And it flies directly at the Turducken.
Does a 10 beat your defense?
Yes.
Okay.
And it moves its beak into your Turducken and begins to suck some of its blood.
I will never get used to seeing that.
Why does that keep happening?
It's a blood sucking woodpecker.
I want to-
That must mean it's getting weak and it needs to replenish itself.
I want to throw Rock Pet over there.
Okay.
You throw Rock Pet into the fray.
I would like to do that, yeah.
And what's Rock Pet's agility?
Three.
Okay.
Rock Pet can go now because that's the lowest and then we'll go back to the top of the order.
Fantastic.
Quick question.
How much damage does-
Sorry.
Packet does two damage to your Turducken.
Thank you.
So what is Rock Pet going to do?
Attack.
So it's going to be Rock Toss.
Roll a five plus my strength is a 15.
Okay.
That hits.
Yeah.
And then a D4.
A four.
Okay.
So that explodes so you can roll a D4 again.
A four.
Damn.
I don't know what to do in that case, but it's already dead or unconscious.
And your Rock Pet hurls itself psychically over at the packet, knocking it out cold as
it goes careening into the bird's skull.
And the packet falls onto the beach a little less bright than it was before and it is unconscious.
I'm pretty sure we could just carefully squeeze it into the box and then I'll use Rock Pet
to just bang it closed around the bird.
I think we tried that before and it didn't go great.
It seemed like I was really close to getting it.
I think that, you know, we probably shouldn't try that again.
But hey, it was pretty cool to finally see that Rock Pet hit something.
I've seen it fly around a bunch, but that was the first time I've actually seen it do
something.
I'm glad that it missed the first couple of times.
I think it just needed some support.
That could be it.
Ones in the wild are used to just, you know, being in the bottom.
That would be support, I guess, if they were in the bottom.
The other kind of support.
Being used to just being, you know, kicked around in the dirt.
All right, George.
All right, I'm also going to look around for pal.
Are you using the fishing rod or are you just playing around on the land too?
Can I send one of my pals into the water to look around?
I mean, I'll say you all like have a combined fishing pole.
So, you know, yes.
It's a 10.
All right.
A 10 is a success.
So with your one pal, which one are you got in the water?
The Buzz Eel really injured right now.
Buzz Eel had two HP when it left.
So the the Seahorn is in the water then.
Using the same similar tactic as Maple did with his Ewok, you have your Aligned Cast
in there and the Seahorn drives something to the end of your line and it begins to shake.
And as you pull it out of the water, roll me a D8.
It's a one.
He fucking pulls out the goddamn Loch Ness Monster.
It's your dad.
It's your dad's body.
Reanimated.
I guess he really was getting dinner.
He said he was going to get cigarettes.
He said he was going to get milk.
He said he was going.
Yeah.
You yank a Bobfrog out of the water and it plops onto the beach in front of you, letting
out a Ribbit and spitting out your hook.
It takes a deep breath in and it is now twice its original size.
Oh my God, Seahorn, there's some weird frog thing.
It's got all poofed up and full of air.
Use your horn smash and pop it like a balloon.
That's a 13.
13 beats its defense.
Yep.
And a four for damage.
Okay.
You hit it and it exhales and it goes back to its original unpuffed up form and its eyes
look pretty droopy.
It looks pretty messed up.
It musters all the strength it has and begins hopping around rapidly.
Does a five beat your strength score?
No.
Okay.
It exhales its rapid hops move to decrease your accuracy and it is once again your turn.
All right.
I'm going to throw one of these Palletraps at it.
Okay.
Let's see it.
D20.
So 14.
All right.
The Palletrap hovers over top of the Bobfrog for just a moment before it turns the Bobfrog
into white.
It shakes three times and settles to the ground.
And the Bobfrog is now yours.
Boss frog.
I got the two XP.
There's a squad over here.
We get anything from the XP from the Sap Sucker thing?
Yes.
Sorry.
The peck it would have given four XP.
I think I may have been tracking level ups incorrectly.
Okay.
Is it a giant pile of tallies or which pal you are fighting with?
So it should be which pal you were fighting with gets the XP.
So you're rock out for.
I guess it's the first time I followed my rock.
Cool.
So I'll just add all the rest on to the other dude.
Perfect.
How much do you guys have now anyways?
I'm at 20.
That's a total 22.
Okay.
18.
Just for Seahorton.
Solid.
My Turducken is half cooked for next level.
What's the HP at?
Seven.
Okay.
It's pretty beat up.
Getting down.
Probably going to make it drink one of those power drinks.
Yeah, you guys can do items outside of battle.
You don't have to do them.
I've gotten pretty lucky.
All of the pals have failed to hit my super agile Seahorn.
That's awesome.
Your Seahorn's not that agile.
I know.
Yeah, I think it has the worst starting agility out of the three, doesn't it?
Yes.
Yes, it does.
So are you becoming a water specialist over there?
It does appear that way.
Yes.
It's about halfway through the day and you young men have battled bravely through the
day and you decide to leave area six and head into area seven, which along the way
you get to follow the lake and the sun beams off it.
Bring some pretty good feelings.
However, when you get into area seven, it gets a bit darker and it's deeper into the
woods and the lake has faded away behind you.
What do you want to do?
Becoming nighttime?
No, it's like midday.
It's just dark woods.
I'm going to look for some items.
Okay.
I got a one.
You don't find shit.
No items here.
I'll look for a pal.
14.
You find one.
14.
You have been rolling good.
Okay, roll me a D8.
That's why I told Connor not to touch my dice.
I rolled a five.
Is that a fire breathing squirrel?
Yeah.
I want it.
Okay.
As you're kicking around in the tall grass and the woods here, you see that there are
several piles of leaves that have been singed and little footprints that have been burned
into the ground and in front of you spins around a very evil looking squirrel.
And as it lets out a breath, you see flames emit from its nostrils and its mouth.
I'm telling my Turducken to go peck it.
I have 11 for agility.
Okay.
The Turducken goes first.
Six for a peck attack.
To hit?
Oh wait, that would be a 12, 14, 13.
13.
Any of those hit.
That's a one.
The peck is not very effective on this furl and it lets out another burst of flames out
of its nostrils and then it springs forward to attack.
Does a 10 beat your defense?
Yes.
It rapidly slashes away at you with its claws and deals seven damage.
Damn.
Good thing I gave him that drink.
And it hops back into its original position and singes a few more leaves in front of you.
I'm going to attack it again with another peck.
That's a seven and five.
So 12, three.
Okay.
It spits out a fireball at their Turducken.
Does a 13 hit?
Yeah.
Okay.
So it does one damage to your Turducken.
I'm going to try to catch it.
Okay.
How many Paltraps do you have?
Just one.
Okay.
Well, that's a 12.
It's a 12.
You're going to gain three experience as your last Paltrap hovers over top of this furl,
converts it into light and the Paltrap shakes three times before settling to the ground
and you got yourself a furl.
Furl.
And Maple, I believe you are the last one to go.
I thought it was feral squirrel.
I'm going to stomp around, kick some grass, look for a Pau.
All right.
Let's see it.
11.
Yeah.
You were able to stir something up.
Let's find out what it is.
An eight.
Oh shit.
Good roll.
Thanks.
As you're stomping around, you see a very strange log and you kick it and suddenly it
shakes before it begins to roll and it rolls right at your feet and you're able to jump
over it and then it kind of presents itself as a standing log and it's covered in vines
and in front of you, you see a very intimidating Pau.
Probably the largest that you have seen yet today.
Wow.
Yes.
Can I know what type it is?
It is a plant type.
Straight plant type?
Straight plant.
Okay.
I'm obviously going to attack with my Ewok.
Guys, there's a big one over here.
I think maybe we should try to capture.
It's good with just a straight normal attack.
Okay.
Rolled a six plus my 11 strength is a 17.
Okay.
That hits.
Then I will roll a D6 for damage and I got a three.
Okay.
Largely this loglet looks unaffected.
It absorbs the blow pretty easily and then the vines that are wrapped around it begin
to unravel and you see several mushrooms protrude out of part of its bark and it launches them
at you.
Does an 18 hit?
Yeah.
Against whatever of them.
Okay.
It does seven damage.
Oh wow.
And reduces your strength by one as these mushrooms make a direct hit, spraying spores
all over your Ewok.
We got to help, Napl.
Yeah.
That's a pretty big pal over there that he's fighting against.
This is a level 10.
A level 10.
Yeah.
Right in my wheelhouse.
It is not.
All right.
And that's where we're going to end the session for today.
So until next time.
See you next next Tuesday.
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Check out our YouTube channel with the same name and most importantly, tell a friend.
Oh, ok.
Praphal trap.
P yummy.
trap yeah you supposed to say a perv cube and I was like that was not the one I
don't want your flashlight if it's not a crab I'm leaving it alone I'm kicking it
it's probably one of those people crabs what the fuck's a people crab they look
like people but they taste like crabs I think you should re-change its name to
suck it that's a vacuum in the office universe