Welcome to the Tales from the Crit podcast. We are an actual play podcast featuring a
revolving cast of players making our way through micro RPGs, highly narrative tabletop games,
and the more popular and less known RPG systems from a wide variety of genres. Content may
not be suitable for children and content warnings can be found in the description.
I'm Riley Groves and I'll be your host, your guide, your GM on this episode of Tales from the Crit.
Welcome to Tales from the Crit. I'm very excited for this one as we're going to begin playing our
first episode in We Deal in Lead today at the table. I have Rebecca. Hello. I have Mikey. Hello.
Thanks for having me back. You know what? Anytime you can make it work in your schedule,
Mikey, there's always a microphone for you. The least I could do. It is. You do the least. Yes.
Perfect. And for the first time, very excited to have our good friend John here with us today.
Hello. So before we jump into doing some character creation and some introductions and some world
building and stuff like that, we're going to get to know each other a little bit better using a
question from our pod deck interview deck. And that question is going to be, if you had someone
following you around all the time, what would you have them do? And it sounds like in this scenario,
like it's wanted. It's not a stalker. It's somebody that we've hired or a fan club or something. I
don't know. It's not nefarious or weird. My first thought was go away and please leave me alone.
Understandable. Who's got a good one? Oh, I would have them be a driver. Oh, I mean,
they're following you around. So I guess they could be theoretically. They're going where I'm
going anyway. Why not? You know, just I'll tell them where I'm going. I'll tell them where we're
going and who those drive me around. Basically like best butler ever. I guess if they're following
you around wherever you go, I guess it means like, do they, are they literally following you? Like,
do they have to follow you or can they like advance in front of you? Can you acknowledge them as far
as car seats? Is it a ghost? You know, there's not that many limitations here on the question. So I
don't have the parameters really. I guess they could follow you by being in front of you. I mean,
I'm thinking of like, if it were like a follower, like in Skyrim, like you have a follower and it's
just like somebody you can give direction to or, you know, they can hold some of your stuff or do
certain actions. Oh, yeah. I want a driver. Yeah. The thing I want to get away driver. Like, yeah,
you know, sorry. No, go ahead. I would just have them carry all my shit. Man, being a girl, I got
no pockets. Nothing has pockets. I hate purses. They're so weird and annoying. I can't do a fanny
pack. That can't happen. Get yourself a pocketbook. No, I don't like them. I don't like any of them.
Get yourself a follower. I just want somebody to carry my stuff. Like, here's my phone. Here's my
wallet. Just, I mean, assuming it's not nefarious and they're going to run away with my wallet.
Not that there's a lot in there. It's kind of disappointing. That's kind of also your job too.
Like, oh, I carry a lot of stuff. You are her husband. I am her Lydia.
Lydia. That was her name. Just constantly staring at you. I often block doorways she's trying to get
out of. Always. You know, trap her in rooms that she doesn't want to be in. Just totally unresponsive.
Yeah, pretty much. I will carry this burden for you. I'll go. I guess mine would probably be just
kind of a joke one. Maybe I'd probably have them hold doors for me unnecessarily far ahead of the
time and keep people out of the way until I approached. Nice. Just not for any other reason
that it just seems weird and funny in my mind. Just to have someone just like hold a door for a
long time even if no one's coming and then eventually some guy walks through and they
let it, you know. Because other than that, I don't think of anything else I'd want someone to do
all the time for me. That would seem a little like. It's a little creepy. No matter what,
it's a little creepy. Yeah, I was going the jokey route too. I would have them like pretend to sneak
behind me a lot so that anybody that was looking like behind me saw somebody like very obviously
sneaking around. It would make me seem like there's a lot more going on in my life that would be like
important or cool and that's all I, that's the best I can wish for is the error of being important
or cool because it'll never actually be. Yeah. Yeah. No. No. Yeah, I guess another fun one would be
photographer. That's a good one. That's a fucking useful one. That would be useful. Yeah. Shit. Can
I change mine? No. No, driver's good. I choose driver. I mean we could have gone with like
something sick like a ninja. That's kind of his. I know. Have a Ronin follow you just like or a cowboy.
Just a guy in a duster with a couple of six shooters just walks behind you.
Constantly walks back to back with you though. Back to back. It's Chuck Norris. I want to change
my answer. If it can be Chuck Norris. I want Chuck Norris to follow me to punch anyone that gets
within COVID distance of me. All right. Now that that's out of the way, let's do some character
creation and build some of this world that we're going to be playing in and we deal in lead and to
do that we're going to start by you guys making your characters. So we eat. So first thing we're
going to establish. What is everybody's name? I guess I'll go first. So my character's name is
Betty Bob Cocker and that's right. She is a female gunslinger. Do I describe you want me to go into
description or just say just name? We're just doing name right now. Sorry. It's all right.
We'll do traits all at the same time. Gotcha. So yeah, character's name. Betty Bob Cocker.
All right. Mikey, who are you playing tonight? My name is Cal Calvin McRae. Cal McRae and Rebecca.
My character's name is Jesse Jane. Perfect. All right. So let's get into everybody's background.
Betty Bob Cocker. You're an interesting one. Why don't we go into some background stuff for you?
Sure. How deep are we going? Are we doing a deep dive? What are we doing?
Oh, much as the surface stuff. I got this. We got it. We went deep, bro. You know what? Give me
all you got. Give me all you got. Cover my face and background stuff. All right. I'm going to warn
you. What you have, I have significantly less. No. You like to use that invisible ink. All right. So
Betty Bob Cocker, a very, very attractive, buxom, brunette female gunslinger. She's 26 years old,
a young force to be reckoned with. She trained long and hard to be a reverse cowboy.
And she grew up in a tight knit family in the mountains. Her father, Dirk Cocker, he disappeared
leaving her mother, Sue Bob, to look after the family. And Sue Bob had many of the gentlemen
call her, one being Bill Haight. That was around when Betty was around 15 years old. And really,
she thought he was very kind and liked him a lot. Yeah. And as far as Betty, she's dressed in all
black and red leather with a really tight knit corsety vest and black boots. She's got that red
sole on the bottom of her boot. You know what I mean? Just classy and a large silver belt buckle
with her initials on it. So, um, BBC. So yeah, yeah. And then other than that, um, she, Bill and Sue
split up, um, but she said, stay close with Bill. And then her family name, uh, it was a little bit
sullied by her mother, mother's permiskewity. Uh, she seemed to, you know, she wants to rekindle that
family name and that honor. And that's why she's, you know, out there gunslinging.
Fuck yeah. I like that a lot. Mikey, do you need the book to go over your background? Like,
or do you have that fleshed out? Cause you can like roll for it too. Let's roll. Okay.
Did come here to roll some dice, right? I mean, that's what we're here for. That is what we're
here for. All right. People want to hear the dice on the one to hear the clickety clack of the math
rocks. The clickety clack. Here's how it goes. Okay. Big boy. You're going to roll a D 10 for
your background. I'm a hunter. Then you're going to roll a D 10 for your physique. I'm a brawny
hunter. A D 10 for your skin. But my skin's a little pockmarked hair. I have wavy hair,
face, eyes, speech, but a bony face. I have a bony pockmarked face with wavy hair. And I'm a
brawny hunter so far. I'm searching eyes, but I speak eloquently. Okay. Clothing.
We're flowing clothing. I imagine it's like a, let's, it's gotta be flowing. It's just
going to be a long duster. Okay. Are you sure about that? Or a ghillie suit?
Virtue, vice, reputation, and misfortune. I am ambitious, but aggressive.
You would roll again. So you roll one D 10 for one side and then roll again for the other side.
Okay. So I am ambitious and aggressive, but my reputation, I am boisterous and abandoned.
I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right. I'm right. Well, did anybody else write that down?
Cause I wasn't writing anything down. I was just going to go the whole time. You're Tommy Lee Jones,
bro. Thanks, Betty. You're welcome. You haven't met Betty yet. You know of Betty. You haven't
met Betty yet. Well, everybody knows who Betty is. All right, Mikey, anything you'd like to add to
your backstory? Does that help you flesh out your character anymore? Yeah, no, he sounds like a hell
of a guy. Do you want to reroll anything? I think you could have one. Boisterous yet abandoned.
Who abandoned you? Who abandoned you? I don't know. I just thought about, I was just like orphan.
Straight up an orphan. Yeah. Okay. That sounds character building. Yeah. Like in the old west,
like I feel like it was maybe, uh, the way I was looking at it was this guy was, you know,
he lived in a small town and something bad happened in that small town. Somebody got kidnapped and he
was part of a posse. And, uh, but he was apparently a pretty good hunter and, uh,
would ride out with the posse to find whoever kidnapped, whoever bring them back home safe and
sound and deal out justice. Like a, like a Texas ranger, like an orphaned, an orphaned character who's seeking justice.
Yeah. Never been created in an RPG game before. And just happens to have a, a long black flowing
duster. Yeah. He was the only thing that left and he was wrapped in the duster as he was left as an
orphan. Swaddled on the dust in the dust in the duster on the church steps. Yeah. I grew into this
duster. Never took it off. Speaks eloquently. I like that. Me too. I'm excited to see how you're
going to play that one. Yeah. Fancy pants. I don't know what you thought I was going to play.
My god, speak like I did, but eloquently. All right, Rebecca, tell us about Jesse Jane.
Well, speaking of orphan characters who are seeking justice, I will say, uh, Jesse is at least seeking
vengeance, not justice. Jesse grew up on a ranch until the age of nine when her parents and siblings
were murdered by a gang. Jesse vowed to avenge her family and will use her father's trusty weapon to
carry out her vengeance. Nice. So it sounds like Bill Haight is a father figure going to end up
being a father figure to almost everybody. Yes. He took Jesse and lynched him. He found her. He's Tom
Sawyer, bro. Or what? Yeah. From Lost. Tom Bombadil? No. Did you guys watch Lost? Yeah. Yeah.
He's Sawyer. But he's like the real Sawyer, like Sawyer's dad because he's John Locke and
everywhere. It's crazy, man. Do you want to talk about it? No. Only up until the last season that
I don't ever want to talk about it again. So I guess I should change Bill Haight's name from Bad
Bill Haight to Daddy Bill Haight. Oh yeah. Yeah. I forgot to say, well, how I met Bill Haight in my
backstory was, uh, he was part of like one of the posse's that, you know, go find somebody or he
came in his outside help to help, uh, rescue somebody or, but I knew he had, he was better
with a gun and better with a lot of things and a lot of people. And I wanted to learn that from him.
Nice. So what we're going to do now is establish ages of everybody. I think John, you said,
you know how old she is? 26, if that's okay. That's perfectly fine. All right. Okay. Mikey,
if you don't want to make a specific age yourself, you can roll for that. No, I'll just say he's
probably like 30. Okay. Wait, how old were you? 26. Yeah. No, I think, I think Cal's probably,
no, he's a young, he's a young kid. He's helping out. He's probably early twenties. Okay. And how
old is Jesse Jane? 19. 19, 26 and early thirties. Twenties, early twenties. Oh, early twenties.
Yes. He said early thirties, but then he decided, I backed up. Yeah. Let's call him 21. All right.
To be young again. Let's find out how old bad Bill Haight is real quick. He's got to be,
he's like 32. He's 107. Oh, he's a thousand and 32. Bad Bill Haight is going to be
52. 52. Makes sense. On the older side. Gotcha. Cool. Does anybody want to flesh out any more
traits like Mikey did for their character? Anybody interested in doing that? Yeah, we can do some of
that. I don't mind rolling some stuff. What are the traits? Oh, he's, he's still writing. No,
he's just drawing a picture actually. Okay. Pass the book to somebody else, please. Hold on.
He's drawing. Hold on. I'm on my 15th wiener. Give me one second. This is the most notes he's
ever taken in a session. Each pockmark has its own penis. That's true. All right. Yeah. I'll just
take one, take a look, see real quick. So, okay. So physique we got, that's, that's kind of,
yeah, figured, figured that out. Let's see what, how virtuous one may be. Uh, oh, a 10.
So, uh, pretty humble. Does that fit your character? No. So I'm going to go with the vice,
which is arrogant for that role. And then, uh, let's see, see what else we got here.
So yeah, uh, rolled 10. So I think tolerance, yeah, which is a tolerant, um, I think, yeah,
I think, I think Betty would be pretty tolerant. She had to put up a lot in her life. So, uh,
tolerant, but arrogant at the same time. So she understands that.
Understands, but is unwilling to waver from her own opinion. Exactly. Exactly. And then, uh,
let's take one look at this reputation here. Uh, let's see what people think. So that's a nine.
Respect it. People respect Betty. I like it. I like it. As it should be. As it should be.
And as a misfortune, uh, cursed. Uh, yup. That works. That makes sense. That makes so much sense.
Yeah. Uh, you have no idea. You'll, oh, okay. Yeah. That's great. Can I just go through the
ones I want to roll for? Yes. Hold on. I re rolled my face from whatever it was and it came out as
pale. I'm pale faced. Oh, you're pale instead of pockmarked. No, pockmarked was different.
No, yeah. I'm pockmarked and pale. Dude looks like the moon. Yeah. I think I need,
I think I need a mask. Fucking hopefully you rolled to have a bandana to you that you can
just like pull all the way up over your face the whole time. Over my face. Over your face.
Two bandanas. Cut out eye holes. But you can see the mouth part. Like a ski mask. We'll see.
Okay. Rebecca, you wanted to roll some traits? Not really. No? Okay. I love rolling for things,
but I don't want to be tied to any of this. All right. We'll flesh it out as we go. Okay. I mean,
I know some stuff. I know she has red frizzy hair and she's freckled and I know she has a
scar across her face. And what did she get her scar from? A hunting accident. Okay. Cool. So next
we're going to go over guns and grips. Does anybody know what gun they want? Wait, did you say grit or grip?
Grip. Oh, grip. Oh, okay. Cause there is a grip thing and I'm like, okay. There is a grit thing.
We're going to get to that too. It's down a little bit more. Gotcha. Okay, cool. Okay. Did anybody
pick out a gun that they want and that fit it best for their character? I picked a repeater.
Okay. Yeah. Betty doesn't believe that you should ever use a gun small enough to not be held in two
hands. Okay. Does it have a specific grip on it? Well, the repeater itself is probably like a nice
dark, dark mahogany. Maybe with like a, like a walnut, like a dark walnut. Yeah. Okay. But there
would be probably like a leather grip over it too. Probably with black leather to match the rest of
her stuff. And maybe with some like red gemstones in it, get a little flashy. All right. Sounds just
like Betty Bob Cocker. Yeah. Mikey, do you know what gun you want or do you want to roll for one?
What was the one longer than the repeater? It was the marksman. The rifle. Yeah. The marksman rifle.
Yeah. I'll have that as a hunter. All right. And do you want to roll for a grip?
And an engraving. Yeah. If you have an engraving, her initials are also there too. In big letters,
I can only imagine. They're subtle. Subtle? Yeah. They're not, they're not right in your face.
Okay. Yeah. I feel like it would be, it would be a rosewood grip with a sword engraving. Okay.
Beautiful. Nice. Beautiful piece. And Rebecca, what about you? What's a scatter gun? Shotgun.
Shotgun. Or a blunderbuss. Okay. I want a shotgun. Okay. It's got a silver grip and a rose engraving.
Perfect. Okay. That concludes part one. Part two is about ability scores and we're going to roll
those all together. There is strength, dex, and heart. Strength is your brawn, your prowess,
and your resistance. Dex is going to be your agility, your sneaking, and your reflexes.
Heart is resolve, charm, and your will. So in this order, you're going to roll three, D six,
starting with strength. And then we total it or does it, do we have to do something else afterwards?
Nope. You're going to total. Sweet. So that would be 10. All right. So don't write it next to your
strength yet. Just write down a 10. Okay. Mikey, will you roll three D six please?
And same with you, Rebecca. Four, six, and two. 12. Okay. So write down a 12. Right now,
these are going to be your strength scores. You want the total? Yep. 11. Okay. So write that next
to your strength. Okay. Everybody roll three D six again. Where's my strength? Oh, sorry.
Wait, sorry. 10. Another 10. Cool. Eight. Okay. Six, six, and three. 15. 15. All right.
Fucking huge numbers. And go for heart. So another three D six.
That would be a 11. Perfect.
Seven. 10. 10. Okay. So the way this works, you're allowed to switch two of those.
Like reroll switch or just like switch to around. Switch to around. So if you want to swap
whatever your strength score is for your deck score or your heart for a strength,
something like that, you're allowed to move two of them. Gotcha. Gotcha. What is heart? Your
resolve, charm, and will. Oh, the charm. Yeah. I'm keeping strong. It's the charm, my highest.
That's cool. I'm going to keep mine the way they are. Okay. I think mine's accurate. If heart is,
you know, that and I'm kind of weird looking, I think seven is appropriate.
Yeah. I feel like if I'm going to switch anything, I'll be stronger than I am dexterous
being brawny. All right. So I'll be 15 in strength and 12 in decks. Nice. Nice. You got really good
rolls. For those two. Yeah. And then there's that seven in there, but yeah, cause I'm, cause I'm
hideous. Quasimodo over here. I was thinking more of like Phantom of the Opera. Just like,
look at that fucking weird face. At least he wears a mask. Allegedly. Maybe I should, I have to
think about masks. That's going to be your entire character arc. Looking for a good way to cover
your fucking face. Your hideous, deformed, disgusting, pale, pockmarked, dick covered face.
Yeah. I'm ambitious yet aggressive, boisterous yet abandoned. I'd say, oh, it's like, once I get that
mask, like I can be boisterous. All right. Let's roll for grit. So everybody roll me two D six.
Everybody go ahead and roll two D six for me to get our grit scores.
Big numbers. Yep. This is an important one. So roll big or go home. All right. Eight. I got a seven.
Seven. All right. Good. Um, grit is like an additional kind of HP bar. Like if you think
about it in the way of a video game, it's going to be kind of your shield. Um, so anytime you take
damage, it's going to come off your grit first, um, after being subtracted from your defense,
although guns bypass defense. So just keep that in mind. Nice. All right. So now that we have that
out of the way, let's go for starting gear. Everybody has 12 inventory slots. As you can see
on your character sheets, it's important to know there's certain tags with different
inventory items. A small item does not take up any inventory slots at all. A regular item will take
up one and a bulky item will take up two and be kind of difficult to carry. If you, at any point,
your inventory fills up, your grit drops to zero. It means you are over encumbered. Okay. So keep
that in mind. Your fatigue, which we'll get into too, is may affect your inventory slots. We'll
see how much we get into, into that. So we're going to go over first your hat, your armor,
and your tools. Well, let's start with hats. Anybody know what hat they want or already are
wearing? She would probably be wearing like, not so much as one of the curved, like up cowboy hats,
but maybe like one of the flatter ones. Maybe a little curved to the side. Definitely like a,
more like a, oh, there's a list of them. There is a whole list with pictures. Wow. Because it's
probably there. I just don't know the name. Yeah, no, it'd be the, it'd be the howdy one. Okay. The
howdy one. Yeah. The one that looks more like a crocodile dundee. All right. Yeah. All right. Go
ahead. Mikey, why don't you pick out your hat? Cal would be wearing the stand hat. It would be sharp,
like sharp around the corners, like so he could bring his scope up. Okay. Rebecca, what would
Jessie Jane be wearing? I think she would also be wearing the howdy hat. Okay. Did they have stats
and stuff or they're just? Your hat's just a hat. Okay, cool. Oh, okay. So don't, don't you worry.
Yours is functional though. I like how you went with the functionality of it. Yeah, it had,
like it was, it had a hard, harder crease in the, in the front. The last two things that I'm going
to have you guys decide on the rest we're going to roll for is going to be your armor and a mundane
weapon. So the armor choices are a reinforced leather jacket, a padded poncho, waxed cotton
duster, thick furs or nothing. Meaning you could, you'd still wear clothes. You just wouldn't have
anything to defend yourself with. I'd like the poncho. Okay. I think I'm going to go for the
reinforced leather jacket. Okay. Seems very hairstyle. I feel like there might be a tassel or two
on your reinforced leather jacket. Probably. Yeah. Probably a tassel or two with like a silver
turquoise beads on them. Silver ruby turquoise beads. Yeah. A little, well definitely some red.
Yeah. And there you've already made your choice. Waxed cotton duster. Duster all the way.
Gotta keep that flow. Billowing. Flowing was the term. Same thing. Billowing's good. All right.
Your mundane weapon. So this is basically a melee weapon or something that is not your gun that you
can also do damage with because lead is the most valuable resource in this world. You have the
option of a spear, a saber, a machete, a bull whip or a dagger. So in which case I would probably
say instead of a dagger let's make it a bowie knife. Okay. Yeah. Something a little more
less because that's not a knife. Man, that's not a knife at all. Could I have two if one of them's
not being used as a weapon? What do you got in mind? Like a bull whip but not a weapon, not used
as a weapon. No, I'm just kidding. Well there may be ways for you to. No, I'm taking the bull whip.
Okay, you are taking the bull whip. Okay. You can have the bull whip too. I mean,
you can have whip fights. You can have more than one. We can whip it together. I was gonna,
I'll take a bull whip. Okay, two bull whips. I'll take a bull whip too. No, I'm just kidding.
No, come on, you should know. We could do like a bull whip high five in the air,
like from a distance away like crack. It is funny because when I rolled earlier for
bad Bill Hayett, he too has a bull whip. Oh God, do I, should I have the bull whip?
Our dad is fucking Zorro. It's up to you.
I want the machete. Okay. Good, it makes sense. I like it. You probably get tired of our like
whip shenanigans. Oh yeah, it's ridiculous. I'm threatening to cut them off all the time. Awesome.
Okay, cool. So from here, we're going to add some expeditionary gear and some tools and some
trinkets to everybody. Everybody give me a D20 roll. Gosh, with the, okay, get them out now.
Actually, no, in the, I read a little bit in the game, I want low rolls, but I don't want them now.
What'd you get? I got a one. So you actually make out pretty well. You are going to take a lantern
and oil. A lantern and oil. Yes. Okay. I rolled a nine. You rolled a nine. So that's going to give
you a bandolier. That's super helpful because your lead actually does not take up an inventory space
now. Is this under, is this under inventory items that we're writing this or? Yes. Okay. Also a nine.
Okay. You also get a bandolier. Awesome. All right. Everybody give me a second D20 roll. If you roll
the same thing as you did the first time, reroll. I got an eight. An eight. That gives you a bedroll.
Something to sleep on. Yes. Yep. Boogie bitch. 14. You get a gun care kit.
It makes sense as a hunter. Yeah. Look at that. Super important. It's really coming together.
The dice are for me in this character at least. They want Calvin McCray to do well. I got an 18.
You get a large trap. Awesome. Whatever the fuck that means. We'll find out later.
Betty has one already. Betty has it.
God damn it. That's awesome. All right. Let's go over some tools you guys might have. So everybody
roll me a D10. Roll in a D10. I got a five. That is going to give you a pick. A pick. Hmm. Like
an axe pick. You know, like a pickaxe or a guitar pick. Or a toothpick. Or a guitar pick. Lots of picks.
Last thing I would give you. Could be, yes. It could be the short, the PIC. I got some picks.
The pick of destiny. Yeah. That's your magic item. Do I get to go first in the draft? Do I get to pick
first? You may because there's actually nothing in here that says what a pick is. I'm guessing
or is it an ice pick? I bet you it's a pickaxe. Yeah, something like that. Like a prospecty,
old westy. No, because that would fall under bulky and it's definitely not that.
Like a hand pick like Andy Dufresne had in the book? You know, maybe it would be better if you
rerolled that dice. I was going to say, because a pick sounds real lame, bro. I don't want a pick.
Like a toothpick? I pick to roll again. All right. I think that's what it definitely means. So I got
a six. You get a chisel. To go with your pick. All right. I'm into woodworking. I like it.
The chisel is infinitely better than the pick. We all know that. Absolutely.
Mikey observes his D10. Making sure it doesn't come above 10. Making sure it's a D10 and it's
not going to screw me, but it looks like it wants to screw me. That's an eight. An eight gives you
fishing line and a hook. Look at it. Hunting and fishing. Look at you. Rebecca, give me a roll of
a D10. I get a two. You get a hammer. Awesome. Straight up. Whatever you want that hammer to
look like. Claw hammer, ball peen hammer, sledge hammer. Not a sledge hammer. I don't want a sledge
hammer. All right. Cool. So let's go over some trinkets that you guys might have. Give me another
D10, please, John. All right. Five. You get some spectacles. Some spectacles. Okay. Are they shaded
spectacles? They can be. Sure. Yeah. We got shades now. All right. 100%. Are they the circle ones?
Yeah. Like, like Wild Wild West style. Yeah. Totally. With the blinders on the sides.
Dude, I remember I went to the Wild Wild West movie and got the ones that like came from the movie.
No, you were the coolest kid that day. And ever since. I mean, yeah.
Eight. You get a horn. Like, it could be whatever you want. You can run with it, man. Like an animal
horn. I was thinking of maybe a bugle. Or maybe like a horn of Endor or something. Yeah. I think
it would be like a ram horn. Like that. Yeah. That drinking horn. Something. Powder horn.
Yeah. Okay. Cool. All right. Three. Hey, you get a bandana. A bandana. Damn bandana. Okay. In
addition to all that, you are each going to take three days of rations, which is going to take one
inventory slot. Did any of those things take up an inventory? They all did or? So yeah. Hold on one
second. Let's just make sure. I don't think anybody had anything that would be listed as small, which
you may have actually. The chisel might be small. No, it does not. There's a full size fucking chisel.
Full size chisel. What about the spectacles?
I think you wear that. So it shouldn't be inventory, right? I mean. Same as your coat and armor.
I don't write the rules, buddy. Spectacles. No, I just break them.
Um, spectacles are only listed as rare, so they should take up an inventory spot. Should. Should.
Okay. But they are rare, which is cool. Cool. Um, so the lantern and oil and bedroll all are also
one item as well. Yeah. Yes. Okay. The bandolier, the bandoliers are small, so they do not take up
an inventory spot. A bandana is small, so it does not take up an inventory slot. Gun care kit. Gun
care kit is rare, so it does take up an inventory slot. Okay. The hammer takes up an inventory slot.
Fishing gear. Obviously would definitely take up one. Definitely takes up an inventory slot,
and your horn takes up an inventory slot. Cool. So. What about my large trap? Is that two? Oh,
um. They're right, it is. It is only one. Oh.
Aw. All right. How's it, how many inventory slots does everybody have filled up? So,
do we, do guns, armor, and mundane weapon all count as items as well, or no? Okay. So those
don't add into your inventory. So one, two, three. I only have four items right now. All right. Cool.
Four here. Four. Could I ask for one more? Yeah, sure. I just want some tobacco. If we're gonna,
if we're gonna do this. Chewing or smoking? Uh, I roll it. Tobacco is a small item, so like.
It does not take up. It does not take up an inventory slot. I'll write that down. You can
list it. That's okay with you. Yeah, absolutely. Just don't fill in one of your little dots. Okay.
Cool. Okay. I'm cool with that. Thank you. There, I mean, you guys can take some other stuff. I don't
mind, but you just don't want to weigh yourselves down. Did everybody take a torch already? I will
have the one ring. Uh, no, no, I did not take it. We had, I had a lantern and oil, but I guess a torch
as well. Okay. Everybody starts with. Everybody starts with a torch. If you want to forego your
torch, that's fine with me. I don't mind if you don't want it to take up an inventory slot. Torch
does take up an inventory slot. It does. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just stick with the lantern and
the oil. Okay. That's cool. So Rebecca and Mikey, add a torch to your inventory. Got it. It does
take up a spot. And then everybody grab your 3d6. This is the granddaddy of all roles. This is the
big one. This is the determine how much lead you all start with. Oh, and lead, lead's important
because lead is how you fuel your gun. Lead is how you buy things. Lead is what is in your pencil.
It's in the paint. It's in the paint. Even our old schools and classrooms that made us so bright.
Yeah. Eager to learn. It's made us into the people we are today. It fuels the fire. It fuels the brain
molecules. All right. Everybody roll it once. Let's get it done. May the force be with you. Three, two,
one, go. 12. I got 16. Whoa. Eight. All right. Okay. Not too bad. Not too bad. You may want to be a
little conservative with your gun. The way lead works is yes, it is money. It is also how you
reload your gun. That doesn't mean you have eight shots. It means you can reload your gun eight
times. So depending on how many bullets your gun holds, that is how you use your lead. Is there a
way to gain more lead? Lead is rare, but can be found around the world. Gotcha. Okay. Gotcha. Cool.
So let's go into the relationship and rumors part. We're going to actually steal some prompts from
kids on bikes because I very much like the way that they set up their characters. And that was
well, the first one that Mikey was on and the first one that Rebecca was on. Cause it was the
first one of the podcast. So yeah, that's the first one I listened to. Oh my God. It's the first one
that I recorded too. My God. Season one. All right. That's true. By a lot. It was not the first one.
So we recorded one. It went really cool. It was really awesome. We all were here like late at night.
It was only like 30 minutes long at that. Yeah. And it was really fun. And then we were like,
let's do it again. And we all die in five fucking minutes, instantly wiped out. I have no idea how
it happened. So then we recorded the next time and I recorded it. We recorded two whole episodes of
two systems and I didn't have the right input on the fucking thing. And I used to have the computer
sitting behind me. So it was out of the way. And for four hours, I didn't record a single fucking
thing and we lost everything that we fucking had. I remember that. That was a really good arc too.
It was fucking awesome. We also used to have girl on the couch. You used to just sit on the couch
all the time. Yes. I didn't like to be recorded. So that's why some like random episodes talk about
people on the couch. All right. So the way we're going to do it, we're going to do three questions
a piece. So you're all going to answer three questions. Obviously the three of you know each
other. You also know Bill hate. Okay. Okay. Oh, in game we know each other. Are you saying yes. Okay.
Yes. In game. Yes. We all know each other right now and we all also know each other in the game.
Yes. Okay. So we're going to answer three questions. We're going to go in a circle. You can pick a
positive question or a negative question. Okay. Out of the three, you have to pick at least one
of each. Meaning you can't just pick all three positive or all three negative. Okay. Okay.
So how this works is somebody's going to give me a D20 roll.
It's John's first time. John gets to go first. Your player one.
That was cocked but it was a three. Okay. It was cocked. Yeah it was it was closer to a three than
a 16. So it was a 16. I mean it's really not. It's not a it's not a good or bad kind of thing. So
just you know do you want to answer a positive question or a negative question.
A positive. Let's be positive. Okay. And who are you going to answer it about. Oh is this my
character talking about someone else's character. Yes. Gotcha. It's your character's point of view
of the other people in your order. So you can choose to answer a question about Cal, about Jesse
or about Bill Haight. I'll do Bill. Okay. Positive about Bill. Positive about Bill. What great
kindness did this character do for you that they don't even remember but you do. There was one
time where for some reason Betty was very upset and all Bill did was just pat her on the shoulder
and say it'll be okay as he was walking away and that was enough. That was just in a moment in her
life when she was like someone cared. So awesome. Yeah. All right Mikey. Give me a D20 roll
and you want to answer a positive question or a negative question.
Positive. Okay. And about Bill Haight. About Bill Haight. 16. What would losing this character mean
to you? It would hurt. It would hurt a lot. He saved my life on a rescue attempt and he's been
helping me out and teaching me the way of the gun and just making me a better hunter. All right
Rebecca your turn. Are you going to answer a positive question or a negative question?
I'll keep the tradition of the positive about Bill. Okay give me a D20. Eight. What is the
private nickname for this character and why? Would you like me to go over Bill Haight's character
sheet quick? A little. Yeah that would be helpful. I think we should just all call him fast Willy Bad
touch. Oh my gosh. That would change. I'm going to delete everything we've done so far. Bad Bill
Haight. He is a hunter with an imposing physique. He has weathered skin and oily hair. A fierce face
with keen eyes. He's blunt when he talks and he wears practical clothing. His virtue is that he's
disciplined. His vice is that he's vengeful. His reputation is dangerous and his misfortune is that
he's maimed and missing an eye. He wears a six shooter with a walnut grip and the engraving of a
bumbler on it. He wears a howdy hat, carries a bullwhip, and wears a reinforced leather jacket
and he also has a bumbler named Grull. A bumbler? What per tell is a bumbler? Yeah bumbler is a
hybrid animal which is a cross between a raccoon and a dog. Oh so like the raccoon dogs that they
have. Yeah. Yeah like kind of like yeah yeah a bumbler dummy. It's silly me. Just trying to
think of a real world animal because there's nothing called a bumbler. They're tough,
squat, tenacious dog raccoon hybrids and they are attuned to detect agents of chaos. Oh so a chihuahua
the honey badger. Makes for the raccoon. Yes yeah. I'm gonna call him teddy bear bill. Oh all right
and you definitely bear. Do not let him hear that. No I can only say it to him when no one else is
around. Awesome. What's your nickname for him? It wasn't my question I don't have to think of that but.
That is correct but it is your question now so roll me a d20. Do you want to answer a positive
question or a negative question? Let's switch it up let's do negative. Okay and who are you going
to answer it about? Oh uh let's go with uh let's go with my boy over here uh what's clay? Cal. Cal.
Cal yeah negative about the guy I don't even know his name. All right. It's a seven. What do you need
to take from this character for their own good? Do I need to take from this character? The picture
of Bill Haight they keep in their uh locket that they have around their neck. Which is now a canon
item. All right awesome we'll get back to that at some point. Mikey give me a d20 roll tell me
positive negative and who you're answering about.
Eight and I'll do a negative about Jesse. How did this character betray you the last time you confided
in them? She was the only person that saw me come back to camp after a hunt and I didn't clean my
gun I just put it away and I went to bed and she told Bill that and he chastised the hell out of me
and I had to clean every gun in the camp and I lost a lot of sleep over it and I knew she was
the only one that could have saw me do it. Now that's a good one I like that. Sorry about that
Cal I didn't mean to spill the beans. Yeah yeah. Rebecca give me a d20 roll positive negative and
who do you want to answer a question about? I'll do a positive about Cal. Okay. One. What did this
character do for you that makes you owe them a debt that you cannot repay? It's the exact opposite of
my question. You cleaned your gun that one time. He cleaned all my guns that one time. He cleaned
every goddamn gun in the house it was like wow good job. I think Cal maybe caught Jesse with a
boy that Bill didn't like so much. I forget the question. What did this character do for you? Oh
and he didn't tell. He didn't tell on me. Yeah and you fucking told on me after. I think I told on
you first. Yeah. And you were you rose above and you kept my secret. Well sounds fun. All right last
round of questions. Oh okay. John go ahead give me one more d20 roll. All right so let's do a uh
let's do a positive about Jesse. Okay. It's gonna be a 13. What about this character always makes
you happy? I think it's the fact that we are the both the gals of the group you know Cal and Bill
have their own thing going on whatever that is and you know we stick together a lot. We go out on the
town and we have a you know good time together. Awesome. The Cal's of the group. The Cal's of the
group. All right Mikey go ahead give me your last d20 roll. Great nine. Nine. I'll do a positive
about Betty Cocker. What is the nicest thing that Betty Cocker Betty Bob Cocker has ever done for
you? I'd rather not say. We'll leave it at that. Rebecca roll me a d20 and tell me would you like
to answer a positive question and negative question and who it would be about. I'm gonna do a negative
one about Betty Bob. About Betty Bob. Sorry Betty Bob. No it's okay. I got a two. What secret are you
keeping from this character that you would be devastated if they ever found out? Should I leave?
I don't know if I can handle this. Oh man. That's an intense amount of pressure. It is. I don't have.
I don't know. Bill Haight is her real father. Oh shit. Dun dun dun. Yep. All right that's a good one.
Thank you. Awesome. So that is going to complete our setup episode. Nice. And on the next one
we'll dive right into playing our characters and we deal in that. So for now we will see you next
next Tuesday.
The Tales from the Crit Podcast is recorded in the Wolfbeard Games Studio in upstate New York.
If you've enjoyed hanging out with us please subscribe on whichever platform you listen to.
If you really like us also leave us a review. It's very helpful. If you want to follow us more you
can find us on Instagram at Tales from the Crit Podcast. We've enjoyed our time with you today
and we look forward to seeing you next time at Tales from the Crit.
I walked on the beach with Chuck Norris and then there was suddenly one set of footprints and I
said why? He's like because that's when I carried you. Thank you Chuck Norris. God bless you. Okay
I'm having that moment. I lost my vape and I'm freaking out. Oh god. You're rolling a lot. It's
I think it's like five d12s or something. It should be four man but like I'm just gonna say
Bill Haight has to be older than you because I just rolled and he was straight up 34. I mean
it could work. Yeah he fucked your mom and you know like 26. I don't know they just had a
relationship you're assuming a lot. Yes so she was dating an eight-year-old boy. Well I was I said I
was 15 at the time. Yes so that's 10 years he would have been 24. Okay my mom listens to this podcast.
Oh it's all right. My sister goes through and skips parts. Oh yeah. For her yeah. Yeah she listens.
You just need to make a redacted version of it. Yeah. I did version.
Maybe that you know she's really a dude.
A guy with tattoos. Well I mean it. Guys theater of the mind here.