Welcome to the Tales from the Crypt podcast. We are an actual play podcast featuring a
revolving cast of players making our way through micro RPGs, highly narrative tabletop games,
and the more popular and less known RPG systems from a wide variety of genres. Content may
not be suitable for children and content warnings can be found in the description. I'm Riley
Groves and I'll be your host, your guide, your GM on this episode of Tales from the Crypt.
Previously on Tales from the Crypt.
At least this guy washed up on shore.
Hi Max, what's going on? Are you okay?
I'm fine, yeah. I guess Mr. Smith died last night.
Yeah, so when Bonnie and I were crossing the creek last night,
um, I definitely saw the things that ate Samantha and probably killed Mr. Smith.
What things?
Um, they were fish-like, but terrifying. Like evil mermaids.
And as you peek around the wall, you hear multiple people shoving and pushing each other
in the line. You can feel the tension rising. And as you're looking around the corner,
one lady wheels around and accuses the person from behind her of pushing her.
Are you trying to cut me? And the other lady just said,
no, get the fuck out of my face. And they begin fighting. And then multiple people begin fighting.
More and more fights break out in this line. This house must not be destroyed.
Surely you've seen some of the other ghosts that wander these halls.
They don't seem very nice. They're not nice.
So? I've locked them away here.
However, my power continues to wane. Okay.
How do we protect the seals? They must not be destroyed.
Okay. Don't let the house get destroyed. Okay.
So
hello, everybody. Thank you for joining us today on the Tales from the Crypt podcast.
Today, we will be continuing our play of BadgeQuest. And at the table, we have returning
as Maxwell, Tim. Hello. Returning as Vivian, Anna.
Hi there. And rounding out the Brave Blossom team
is Bonnie, played by Rebecca. Hello.
I know we're excited to get back into it, but before we do, let's get to know each other a
little bit better. With a question from our pod deck interview deck, the question for today is,
what is your most treasured possession? I'll go first.
Okay. Mine is my Lord of the Rings hardcover book
that I got all four of the hobbits to sign. It's pretty fucking awesome.
It is pretty awesome. And I had a feeling you were going to say that one.
It was the first and only thing I thought of. Excellent. Who else has a most treasured
possession? Mine is also books.
Okay. I have a whole series of Edgar Allan Poe stories and poems that are little tiny like hand
books from like 1902. That's super cool.
And I got them from my grandpa. That's awesome.
That's fantastic. I have a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, like Bible. I'm pretty
stoked about that. It's got like seven different books in it, I think. And one that I had never,
I didn't even know was part of it until I came in that little bit. So that was cool.
That's rad. Cool.
Is yours also a book, babe?
Ah, you know, I'm trying to think so that I'm like the cool kids. I have a lot of cool books,
but none of them are old or like super special additions. I don't know if I have a treasured,
a most treasured possession. What do I like? I have no idea.
So when I was first thinking about this, I was like, okay, is this like the one thing I run into
the burning house to grab? And I was like, well, no, that's my dog and cats. And I was like,
They don't count.
I don't think they count as possession.
Because then we'd also all count them too. It's like no contest.
Yeah. Everyone's first answer. So yeah.
Nothing with life in it, I think.
I was feeling like that was really the only...
Yeah, it was a tricky one.
You have a lot of stuff, Riley. There's not one thing that...
No, like, I don't know. Most of it's replaceable, if I'm being honest.
In that case, you waste a lot of money.
If you can't think of one possession you love so much, we should stop buying.
There's that game, you're a game boy from childhood that you were super
focused on in the drawer.
It's right there. My Pokemon.
I mean, that's something I spent a lot of time with. That might get close to it.
Yeah, that's pretty close. My original Pokemon Red.
My original N64. Probably my wedding band though is the only one that I would actively...
Yes, thank you. It's the only one that I actively, you know, would probably run back in.
But you would never not be wearing it though.
That is true. I'd probably have to leave my whole hand inside, in which case my hand would become
probably the reason why I run back inside. I don't know. Things are really cool and I like
buying them, but I'd have a hard time saving them if they were on fire.
I think the wedding ring is a good thing to settle in.
Thank you. Yes. Okay. So now that we've passed that mushy part of that and I didn't have a good
book to say, let's get back to playing Badge Quest. All right. All right. You guys ready?
Hell yeah. Let's get into it. Ready to die.
Yep. Probably. Vivian already almost did. Maybe she actually is invincible or immortal.
She thinks so. She thinks so. We will find out now.
Did we have the Grim Reaper's number? Can we like call him somehow to like help us fight this
dinosaur? I don't think so. But maybe the fact that it's not a natural part of nature,
will bring him back. We already know him. So, you know, it's like maybe you could call him.
Anyone you could. She's got the death mark on her.
Yep. I'm ready. He shows up. Just kidding. Can you help us kill this dinosaur?
Oh, we can hang out at the fucking old folks home.
Oh my God. Just wait for him to show up. Hey, hey.
We need your help. Come here.
Okay. Well, I can't wait to find out. But before you get there, you guys are facing down
an angry pterodactyl. It has just swooped over top of your head, making a terrifying screeching
noise. And it was wheeled around. You three are the only three that are in this trailer park
currently. And this pterodactyl has its sights set firmly on you. Would you please roll an
initiative roll for me? Five. That's a one.
That's a two. All right. So the pterodactyl is definitely
going to go first. He is going to act in the fight phase. And I think you'll probably find
that most of the dinosaurs are going to act in the fight phase because they lack the skills to
negotiate. Yeah, that makes sense. They're big and dinosaurs, so they probably don't want to run.
More like aggressive negotiations. Always with the Obi-Wan quotes.
Actually, that's Anakin. He said that to Padme. Yes. I couldn't remember if they said it in
episode one or not. They might. It sounds right too.
But okay. Anyway, sounds like Qui-Gon would say that.
They had the weirdest bedroom talk, those two. Yes.
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Oh, I was thinking Padme. Sorry.
Yes, they did. Oh, Sans is so crunchy.
Anyway, it would be the declaration phase now. So which phase are the three of you going to act in?
Should we run from the pterodactyl? I mean, I do have a pillow gun, but
I have to be a pretty good shot. I guess we'll do fighting. Why not? Vivian's always up for a fight.
Yeah, I feel like Vivian would really probably act in a fight, especially because she just got
a new rifle. Yeah, she wants to try it out. I feel like you should hide under her trailer and
snipe it. When one of us takes the high ground and the other two attract it toward you.
Or if I get on top of a trailer. But then you're not much closer to the pterodactyl.
I guess that's true. He already landed on one. That makes sense though. You have the best
advantage with the high ground. I also have rope and can't get the idea of a lasso out of my head.
Oh, okay. I don't know why. I know that's a bad plan. What if I try to shoot it in its eye and
then when it's coming down, you can lasso it. Okay. Okay. So I think that would put you in the
fight phase as well. Okay. Maxwell? I guess I'm going to be left running around trying to keep
it distracted from them so that they can take aim and get lassoed. All right. You're the only one
acting in the run phase, so you're actually going to go first. Okay. These human beings don't run.
We ran once, I think, from the house. Well, we also ran from the big dino as well. Yes, that's true.
I ran from most things. I think I had to stand up to Bernice because there was nowhere to go.
He got knocked unconscious. I remember at one point we all really went into it and then
it worked out. I can't remember which one that was though. Maybe it was the little dinosaurs?
Yeah, we did pretty good in that fight. Yeah, that was cool when you locked them in the garbage.
That was a good fight. I'm sure they would have died in there. Oh, well, no. Someone would have
eventually... Maybe it is best that we ended up letting them back out because some poor...
Just throwing the trash out. Yeah. Had a shit day at work, poor tips, opens it up and then just
gets bit in the face by a dinosaur. That'd be pretty awesome. Okay. So Maxwell, you're going to
act in the running phase. So let's say that the pterodactyl is now swooping about 50 yards away.
It's fully turned and it's coming to make an attack at the three of you with Maxwell acting in
the run phase and the two of you probably hiding in the bushes. Okay. So the two of you break off
on opposite sides of the trailer park. Okay. One going behind one trailer, one going behind another.
Maxwell, this pterodactyl is facing you alone. It's acting in the fighting phase. So you're going
to go first. I need you to make a toughness check. What exactly are you trying to do?
All right. So Maxwell is going to take off running down the center driveway-ish area where there's
trailers off to every side. He's taking down the center running. There's trailers that he's passing
on the left and the right and he's going to take off running down the middle of the road.
He's going to take off passing on the left and the right and he's going to time it. So as the
pterodactyl gets closer and closer, he's just going to dip off the other directions who escape
real quick, hide behind a trailer and then do the same thing. He's going to turn around and run up
the other way. All right. Cool. So make me a toughness of six. Six and a three. All right.
So you take off fast as Maxwell can run, getting this thing's attention to follow you down through
trailers and past your friends. It's going to act first in the fight round and then the two of you
can act. The pterodactyl catches up to you at the last minute, swoops down its giant beak,
brushes the back of your shirt and rips a hole in the back of it. However, his beak does miss
jamming into you and grabbing you. Vivian and Bonnie, can you guys make me some rolls for what
you're trying to do? Toughness checks, please. So I'm going to try to load my pellet gun and aim for
one of the pterodactyl's eyes. Okay. So you go first. Six, six and a five. All right. Good deal.
It's now a pyrodactyl. It's only got one eye, like a pirate. If I get it to swoop really low into the
swing and get it, then it would go in circles around it until it gets stuck at the top and
strangled to death. All right. With that roll, you got two sixes and a five? Yes. Man. All right. So
you crit on your roll, shooting it directly into its eyeball. And like, it's not just superficial
damage. You pop this pterodactyl's eye. It screeches as it collapses to the ground. You do two damage
to the pterodactyl. Bonnie, will you please explain what you're doing and make your roll now? As Vivian
shot the pterodactyl, I swung my lasso and tried to lasso it. Okay. A six, a four and a two. All
right. Another success. Fuck yeah. You lasso this pterodactyl around the neck, like as if you're
some sort of lasso-ing person. And you cinch it up and you have this pterodactyl tied up by the neck.
Is there anything like a big tree or a flagpole that I could tie the other end of the rope to?
What about the swing set? I'm worried a swing set wouldn't be strong enough. Also, I'm worried
Bonnie's not strong enough to actually hold this down if it flies away. Yeah. I don't want to go
flying. If that's up to code, it should have all four ends in cement piers. So it should be. Yeah,
we'll say that the swing sets and the slide down there are up to code. Up to code. Yeah. You know,
Jim Mortenson and the crew down at the zoning committee make sure that things are taken seriously.
I mean, that's why he's been able to hold that position, you know, reelected for five years
running now. You know, you can't knock the guy for following codes. So I will say though that you
probably will need help to drag the thing there and tie it up. Great shot, Viv. Can you guys help
me drag this thing? I should probably tie it up. Damn, you're like little Annie Oakley. Yeah, I
guess. I've never even thrown a lasso before. That's wild. Yeah. It was like right out of a rodeo.
Thanks. I should probably move out west. Where the buffalo roam. Yeah. And the deer and the
hansel o'er. Wow. What a great song. For not being in public school. I know that one. The pterodactyl
begins to pull on the rope. You're still in a scrap. The pterodactyl is going to act in the running
phase this time. Should I try to kill it? I have a knife. Are we doing that? I guess I'm gonna,
yeah, I'm gonna fight. Okay, fight. If you're gonna hang on to it, I would say you probably have to
act in the fighting phase as well. That's all I'm gonna do. I don't think Bonnie would try to kill
this thing. Actually, you'd probably act in the running phase. You're trying to move. Okay, yeah.
So, okay. And Vivian? I think Vivian, she's still got her baseball bat from her brother,
so she's going to try to hit in the head. Okay. Two for the fighting phase, two for the running
phase. So, pterodactyl is going to go first, Bonnie. And try as he might. He flails and his wings
begin to beat. He drags you slightly, but he's not able to free himself or pull you off the ground.
It seems his injury to his eye is pretty extensive. Would you please make me a toughness check to see
if you can get that rope to the end of the swing set? Two fives and a one. Close, but you're still
fighting it. So, you aren't able to get it secured around anything, but you are still holding onto
the rope. I need someone to help me. The two of you, you're now acting in the fighting phase.
Tell me again what you're doing. Then give me some rolls. Okay, I think Bonnie's going to take the
baseball bat and try to hit where the damaged eye is. So, it's already painful and make it worse.
Okay, give me a toughness check of six. I'm going to see all the way to laughter. No, no successes.
And three. Okay, so you got a one and there are two. So, you fumble your baseball bat and you miss
cracking it against the ground and you actually snap your baseball bat. Oh, that's upsetting.
Oh man. Maxwell. All right, seeing that the pterodactyl is trying to escape and could
potentially do that and fly away. Maxwell is going to run with his knife to try to cut a big hole,
like, you know, like tear out that sail portion of the wing so it can't get away. All right,
make me a toughness check. That's only one die. I probably should have done the other. Oh no,
you're using your knife. So, that'll still be two. Sweet. Give me a six. Three and a four. Three and
a four. Okay. Not a great round for us. Not a great round. It is, you know. But that first one was
epic. The first one was really good. And so you guys are still going. The pterodactyl, its next
round that it's going to act in is the fight round. What about you guys? I'm going to still try to tie
it up. Okay. So, you're acting in the running phase. Will someone help me try to tie this thing down?
I'm going to give Bonnie a hand with that. Okay. I agree. I'm going to lend my hand to
holding onto the rope. Okay. So, the three of you are going to act in the running phase and the
pterodactyl is going to act in the fighting phase. Cool. All three of you. Is there a way that by
working the rope correctly, if we could get it tied down, that that would resolve the scrap? Well,
my thought was if we tied it to the swing set, we could just walk out of range of it. And then wait
for the lady to come? Yeah. That was my thought. What was the astronaut's name again? Margaret.
Oh, Sullivan. Oh, right. The grand, grand, grand, granddaughter. Yes. The great, great, great,
great, great, great, grandmother of Margaret and Sullivan. All right. All right. Maxwell and
Vivian are going to run to the end of this rope. Come at the end of my rope.
And help Bonnie. Everybody give me a toughness check. I have so far not gotten a six. Two and
a six. Sweet. Two twos and a one. One, two, three. Doesn't affect my six though. No, Maxwell,
with your six, you get success. Puberty hits and you're really strong. Your balls drop and your muscles grow.
Guys, guys, something happened to me. What happened? Who is that talking? Why does my voice sound like this?
You are able to tie the rope around the swing set. So the pterodactyl is now secured by this rope.
However, with Bonnie and Vivian's ones that they rolled, the two of you trip as you guys are pulling
this rope and are now weighing on the ground in this trailer park. The pterodactyl does turn and
he is acting in the fight phase. So the pterodactyl comes at Vivian and Bonnie swooping down. Oh my
god. He jizzes all over. Oh god. The pterodactyl. Oh no more rope. It's his kink. It's like there's
rope shooting everywhere. I can't tell which is which now. Why is it so sticky? Does this make me a mom?
You could have a human pterodactyl hybrid. A hybridactyl. That's kind of awesome. Or pterahuman.
Aren't we already pterahumans? Oh yeah because of earth. Yeah okay. The pterodactyl makes its way
swooping down towards the two of you. It tries to grab both of you with its footy claws. However,
you're able to roll just in time to miss it and it begins to take off still tied to the end of this
rope trying to pull its way out and as it's trying you hear the sound of something like powering up
and as you look to the side you see Margaret O'Sullivan standing near the playground with you
and in her hands she has a large minigun looking apparatus and it begins to power up and you see
lights emitting from it and then you watch her pull the trigger and it lets out this little
sputtering noise and then smoke begins to flow from the end of the barrel and she just goes
shit i'm sorry keep fighting it i'm gonna work on this future sucks yeah Vivian's gun is way louder
and i actually hit him yeah pretty consistently hit him again then we have been the pterodactyl is
gonna act in the running phase again hmm hey lady if we get that device back that brought it here
can you send it back to its home i don't know i've never tried that i'm gonna blast any of them that
come through here as soon as i get the stupid gun fixed okay well how close does the person who has
the dinosaur here how closely have to be here for the dinosaur to be here i don't know they could
have opened a portal a while ago i guess oh i'm gonna shoot his other eye so you're gonna act in
the fight phase again yes okay it's like if a christmas carol met that movie with the other
christmas movie with the man that hides in the vents i don't know that christmas movie what
fucking christmas movie are you watching someone with the big bald man mr big mr clean guy and he says
uh something about yippee ki-yay yeah that one mother something mother truckers yeah i got you
i know what movie you're talking about that one that's not a christmas movie hot topic okay hit
us in the comments okay maxwell and bonnie what are you acting in acting at all i don't know bonnie's
not acting at all i think she's kind of panicking because she doesn't want to kill it but i don't
know okay maxwell so if she has no idea where the person with the remote is it doesn't seem it's
feasible for us to be able to find this person except by unhappenstance because portals can be
just opened anywhere and the dinosaurs that we see aren't necessarily from an immediate portal
we got to kill the dinosaur otherwise no telling how long it's going to be out so
uh max is gonna i guess try to go for a killing blow okay all right so he's gonna act for us
he's gonna act in the run phase and try as he might that poor little pterodactyl can't pull
himself free of this rope so um maxwell and vivian tell me how you're gonna vivian you're
gonna shoot him again i'm gonna try to shoot his other eye okay you're gonna blind the pterodactyl
okay give me a toughness check two fives and a two okay you get close but you do just miss
hitting this pterodactyl maxwell max is gonna run toward his chest with his knife in his hands
so it is in the air oh it's flying i thought we had it tied down no you have a tie to the playground
so i can't do any harm to it i mean you could try to pull it down maybe or like throw stuff at it
my slingshot use a slingshot you could make a ranged attack yeah yeah hey vivian can i borrow
your slingshot we gotta take this out yeah absolutely take a shot awesome thanks do i
have anything cool in my pockets that i can no i don't have anything cool i could shoot at it
aside from rocks but i don't so we're gonna shoot rocks okay all right yeah i'm gonna try to shoot
it five and a four five and a four maybe it's that you're not that experienced with the old slingshot
but you send one of these rocks whizzing past its head again i'll get it on the next go the
trick is to aim at it oh well how do you aim i thought how do you aim it pull it back to your
ear and look down and then bonnie are you still not acting oh god i'm gonna do something wild here
i'm gonna try to pull it down and untie it and let it go okay so you'll act in the fighting phase
too okay maxwell and vivian what are you guys doing um i'm gonna try to still shoot it in the
other eye i'm gonna go for another bullseye yeah i'm gonna reload the pterodactyl turns
realizing that it can't pull itself off this rope and begins to make a rapid descent down towards
the three of you coming beak first as he does he just narrowly misses skewering maxwell however
he does knock all three of you around with his wings but he doesn't do any damage who's gonna
go first well since rebecca's trying to let the thing go i guess i'm gonna try to shoot out
before she does that and vivian give me your rolls first to attack it now that it has come closer to
us it's down i'm gonna pull my knife out and try to stab it okay five two and a one two and a six
all right maxwell you run up and fucking stab this right in the chest right in the chest
as close as i can get for being a child and it's a full-grown pterodactyl yes it is pretty large
uh when you get up there you really see how big it is in relation to you which is like pretty much
the same height as you when it's standing maybe even a little bit taller with how its head shaped
and it lets off this screeching claw noise as you step and it takes a fluttery step backwards
bonnie go ahead and tell us what you're doing i'm gonna try to rush up to it faster than uh
maxwell can try to stab it i know he already did but that's okay and i'm gonna untie it real quick
what do i roll for that yeah you'd probably have to roll a toughness for that too maybe a skill
oh i was supposed to get a plus one dice to toughness when running phase oops oh well next time
what did you say skill or toughness yeah let's do toughness a six a two and a one okay yeah so you're
able to untie your knot that you made in the end of this lasso and the wounded pterodactyl begins to
pull away and starts to flap its wings to try to fly off go free go free i'm sorry this was a mistake
guys look how majestically it is why did you do that well i could we had it i couldn't kill it
i don't like to kill things bonnie it tried to eat you i know but it's just an animal it doesn't
know any better you hear margaret o'Sullivan yell what the fuck are you doing and then her gun begins
to make that charging up noise that it did before and several laser bolts blast out the end of it
however they all go in the incorrect direction and her gun begins to smoke again and she just
gets pissed off and tosses it into a field you know lady it's your fault that these things are
here and i think you should at least try to get them home this is your mistake not theirs okay
this is not my fault i mean kind of it might have even time travel's not a good idea this is what
happens when you time travel yeah but there's not much to do in the future well not much to do yeah
everything kind of goes downhill and so we like take vacations by going back in time
your vacation was to dinosaur who doesn't want to see dinosaurs well and you weren't even there for
anything important you were just there for vacation kind of a sightseeing trip yeah okay
anyway i think that you should be responsible and you should take care of your mess and we will help
you yeah i'm going to i'm gonna go fix that gun and i'm gonna blow the rest of these fucking
dinosaurs away you shouldn't say bad words to kids did you go on the trip by yourself
yeah so then who stole the device again if it was just you with the dinosaurs nobody stole it
i got hit when i was time right before i hit the button and as i shot through the time vortex the
thing fell out of my grip and then we both popped through whatever portal we are in now so it's just
an innocent civilian around town like a local who has this and doesn't know what it does yes that is
correct oh oh so it could be anybody could be one of your friends could be your parents are time
travelers allowed to mess up the timeline it's not really how it works actually there's no time
police no so you're just going to get away with this this is ridiculous there should be someone
we can go to yes you thought you were an agent i thought you were a good person i thought you
were a blossom from margaret o'Sullivan and you're just a monster how am i a monster i'm just trying
to keep you guys safe are you you wanted us to help you kill dinosaurs you told us to fight a
dinosaur we're children it doesn't seem very safe but we will help you if you try to get them home
instead of killing them all okay i'm going to make sure that none stay in your town and kill all of
you you guys help me find my chrono vortex we can shut the portal and all of this is behind us new
plan you don't go looking for dinosaurs anymore you come with us and we look for this other thing
together or you tell us a better way of finding it well that way she's not out killing dinosaurs
yeah that's true plus you can be an adult to kill the dinosaurs and you can explain while we're not
in school you can't whisper what i'm whispering to her that's rude okay yeah that's the rules of
whispering i guess it's a whole point why i was whispering to her why am i whispering to you yeah
i don't know why we're whispering at all there's no but there's literally nobody around you're not
really whispering that much help us you have to help you have to help me we're in this together
you got some brave blossoms well so am i but you're old i'm not that old you blossomed so long ago
oh my god we're next oh that was really harsh bonnie so technically if you help us get the
portal gun there'll be less portals for less dinosaurs which we are actually doing you a
favor because now you don't have to run around killing so many dinosaurs yes but what i'm gonna
do is fix this gun up it's almost night we haven't seen any portals get open at night yet so that's
good i'm gonna fix my gun and then we can hunt person with my chrono vortex down get it back
make sure all the portals are closed and i'll go home and we can all act like we never knew each
other okay and we can find it by taking your space watch and rewiring it so that it picks up
the same we can triangulate it with the signal of the portal gun i think i heard something like that
on a sci-fi movie yeah it sounds really smart good job you can do that right uh it's your
technology i mean it's not mine like i'm not the creator of it i bought it what is your career
in the future that you're vacationing from wasmo world security card you gotta be kidding me
what that's a very valid job in the future for it's one of the three corporations that are left
on earth in the future not surprising they have everything they do and they own like 86 percent
of everything in the future if it's a material good wasmo world owns it huh yeah well anyway
them and glizzy max own the food market well how so can you get us deals at wasmo world probably
not i don't think i'm registered you have your employee card yeah i don't that's not how it
works in the future hmm so what's the plan here are we gonna go we're gonna go find the portal
person well it's getting pretty late yes we said that yes so i'm gonna go fix up my gun have some
food did you bring the mermaid people here too mermaid people yeah there's mermaids in the river
creek they're in the creek which is even crazier they're eating people i don't i don't think you
should ask her any she doesn't know she doesn't know anything yeah we thought you were a lot higher
status wow sorry anyway we thought you were a lot smarter i guess then you wouldn't like give better
instruction but we'll find the remote thing listen we'll all meet up in the morning where
junk and stuff network junk oh there's a mob you shouldn't hang out near there there's nobody there
what about the dog the dog's there but i've been able to like i'll meet you outside the gate no i
didn't kill the dog the dog although not friendly has left me alone i stay over behind a bunch of
dilapidated cars okay that sounds good to me we'll see you tomorrow then okay adios children bye
guys should we just sleep at the clubhouse so that we don't have to go home and get yelled at
are we really gonna meet up with her do you think that she really knows what's going on
i don't know what she thinks but or max because should we go to your house we could do that
there's a lot of stuff that's been happening but i'm sure everyone's gone um we just have to be
really quiet but you know mrs smith is now a widow oh yeah we'll be respectful yeah i should call my
parents from your house so just tell them where i am we're not gonna hunt the fish people tonight
do you want to i mean technically i i probably i can get away without being late i doubt that she's
gonna even know if i'm there or not to like let my parents know i'm not there or not so yeah okay
yeah let's go do that well now that i'd hear from them for like seven business days anyway yeah you've
got plenty of time max well they'll never know about this for another week let's hunt some fish
people finally don't forget your rope yes i will go get it and i go back to the swing set and get
the rope all right so the three of you are going to go to maxwell's house for the night yeah before
or going prep there we'll have snacks fish people hunting and then go okay cool i imagine maxwell
has like pizza bites and stuff i don't know i guess you'd have to ask maxwell what do you got
more like bagel bites bagel bites are good they are good i mean if you make them i have like the
bags of mini bagels yeah and cheese and sauce and then anchovies of course and um anchovies
just kind of on theme for the night although gross well yeah i figured how better to kill fish people
than to have the power of fish and we are people with the fish in our bellies yeah maybe our
brothers smell all fishy so that we'll blend in with the fishy oh yeah we are good bait we are
yeah we'll be bait we should talk about a plan while we eat that's a good that's a good idea i
think if we just eat first we can do that really quick and then talk it usually takes longer to
talk any and you can get acid reflux or you choke on your food okay i think you're overthinking it
but that's okay we can eat first in silence yeah i hope you put some eating sounds in here well
those came out pretty good i forgot i only had cinnamon raisin bagels but like it was still
pretty good it was kind of like breakfast pizza it was sweet and savory sometimes work not this
time but sometimes okay we have our flashlights we have our rain gear we have a rope a knife a
bb gun did we get fire crackers oh yeah and the earplugs yeah we need earplugs did we get those
yeah we got them at the wwe yep oh yeah we got it when we got the gun yep i forgot i think we got
a gun on sale because we bought the earplugs first they came in the kit oh yeah oh is that
where they came from well that saved us a few bucks i have a crowbar and pepper spray if that
helps also a rope i got my rope back well i have the fire crackers and i was thinking we could
stun them once we lure them out of the water kind of throw it into their face that's a good idea and
blind them momentarily yeah we could use the rope to make snares that's a good idea too that way
when they get close they just get snared yeah and then i don't have to run the risk of trying to
throw a lasso again because i never did that before and i doubt i would roll as well this time
you would what what i thought i heard you say something about dinner rolls oh god that would
be good do you have dinner rolls no i'm still i have some of those uh the the same raisin bagels
but they uh they're cold oh that's okay i don't need more bagels all right but thank you though
you're welcome i'm ready to go hunt those fish people okay i'll tie this snare as we go i brought
these bagel bites as bait so we can put them next to the snare to lure them in oh like bread with
ducks oh that makes sense i still have my worms too yeah and the worms oh that's perfect you can
make little worm bagel sandwiches that's a good idea fish people love worm sandwiches perfect what
time do you guys wait till to go mermaid hunting eight o'clock nine ish yeah eight nine okay so when
you leave maxwell's house you can still hear fighting coming from around the town although
it's much harder to see because it is dark you hear shouts close and far away from the town it
sounds like there's fights still breaking out all over the place guys maybe we should go get a juice
honey no you have a serious problem no it's not a problem i just tasted real good and i wanted to
go get some more why would the sound of violence make you think of a refreshing drink well it makes
me think of working out and being sweaty and then i want a refreshing drink i don't know those people
don't sound like kiwi i've never had one but that's what i guess it tastes like you did have one
no i had a juice i mean a kiwi oh i've never had a kiwi so i thought this is probably what kiwis
taste like when i drank it it's probably human flesh bonnie oh my god why would you say something
like that because it gives you mad cow disease that's why everyone's fighting they're mad cows
smart super smart maybe for a second before they go nuts i guess they're cows so you'd never know
definitely sounds like there's mad cows yo i don't know but we should go check it out
no we're hunting the fish people okay the bar is probably closed anyway with all the riots
well then it's a good time to find out if there's human flesh in there or whatever you just said
maybe after we're done with the fish people will break in there and find out what it's made of but
not drink it okay we may never have this opportunity with the distraction of everyone
yelling and i really think we should figure out what that's about why is it still happening so
late at night yeah don't these people go home shouldn't they be in bed or like watching tv or
or have broken into the place by now to get whatever juice they're trying to get this place
must be impenetrable i don't know it sounds like they're arguing there's a lot in much more areas
than just the brain freeze it sounds like they're all over town oh okay well what's the plan then
i guess try not to find the fighting people with direct contact but observe and try to see how bad
it is i don't know what if it's zombies i mean vivian just said how it's probably human flesh
in the so they're probably all in the juice everyone's drinking the juices turning on
tiffy and she drank the juice she's turning into a zombie i'm not a zombie if she's a zombie i'm
killing her we're whispering bonnie sorry but please don't kill me i didn't say i didn't say
it you're whispering what do we do just wait until she turns and then i'll shoot her
okay i think you just have to make sure she's my best friend i gotta let at least let her turn
all right i could like cover your eyes if you don't want to watch no it's okay we're really close
okay um i'll probably cover my own eyes then that's um but yeah but only only if we have to
okay bonnie um i heard all that it was terrifying but i'm glad you'd kill me if i was a zombie i knew
you'd like that maybe let me eat some people because that'd be kind of fun well maybe the fish
people oh cool oh that's what yeah so juice bar to get the zombie virus then to the fish people
to get the fish people eaten i don't think we should detour okay fish people first all right
okay so while there are screams going off all around us we make our way to the river creek
creek okay the three of you manage to avoid any of the citizens of kleinville that are actively
fighting one another as you make your way down to the crafters kill as you get closer to the water
you begin to hear some far-off singing put your earplugs in yeah okay is there enough for everyone
i think the kit what kit came with extras yeah sure they're just like the cheap ones came with
plenty like a 10 pack yeah they're just a little full ones that you roll up and put in your ears
okay should we turn our flashlights off i don't know do you think that if we keep them on they'll
just come to us anyway i guess we want to build those snares we should turn them off yeah we
should turn them off and sneak the moon's bright enough let's set the snares above the log that's
down so that when they swim at us they get the snares perfect i mean i guess i'm assuming they're
coming from the north direction i don't know why they're coming downstream what do we want to do
is that the snares yeah yeah who has their snare badge i do not have a snare badge oh but she did
that lasso perfect so i'm assuming you can do a snare okay i'll try to tie up the snare to this
little tree i guess give me a skill test of four okay it's a two you only got one in skill yeah
wolf i only have a plus one to identifying tracks and a plus four to puzzles and recall you don't
have that plus four anymore that was for your brain juice so you try to set the snare up um and it's
up it's not like the best so it might capture something if it goes through but with enough force
it'll probably tear it right apart if these things aren't strong i think i've got this do you have
any extra rope i can show you a different way to do it that i saw naked in a frayed season six
okay well if you want to just untie and retie mine i don't think i have more rope this is what
i've got up to you you want to try to retie it you should try to retie it it's not very good
let's see yeah i just watched it like the other week i should remember this i've been watching them
on on youtube nice i don't have my not tying badge yet so this is the lasso was a coincidence i think
a good coincidence though yeah it was it was good that it worked i guess i mean i untied it so i
guess it didn't matter this would be building technically right sure cool i get an extra plus
one with if i use my swiss army knife to build a snare okay which uh i'll need some sticks to
hold down this rope so no did you not get a four how many dice oh i got a five oh well a five is
higher than a four a two and then two ones okay but you were able to success so awesome yeah you
were able to set a really nice snare perfectly matching the one that you saw on naked and afraid
season six nice job max that's way better than what i did they came out better than i thought
those naked fish are gonna be really afraid cool you should show me that some other time absolutely
maybe when we can actually have the lights on so you can see exactly what i'm doing yeah i didn't
really see any of that but cool next time would each of you please make a charm test of four for
me i got a five i got two fours and a five okay i got two sixes and a four all right all right
good time to roll well as soon as you're done setting the snare and having this short conversation
about teaching bonnie how to make better snares the singing that you started hearing very low far
away from you you notice that it is much closer and much louder you may not have been able to hear
it increase as much because of your earplugs but it is right down the stream from you now however
your earplugs do protect you from any of its charming sing songs guys we should get to the log
okay i was thinking about tossing worms in like kind of far out to get their attention
okay i just realized can we talk because uh oh yes but you're probably talking louder than
you realize so we're just screaming pretty much yes oh what if we're just like kind of sign
languaging it well then you would need to tell me that i guess i'm gonna i'm gonna wave my arms a
little to try to get their attention point up at the log thing and we all shake our heads very
exaggeratedly because it's dark and we can't see all right i'm heading back to the log what's your
plan here i'm gonna wait on the side of the creek like you know i could take one step and be on the
log but i'm not on the i guess like once there's caught in the snares we jump out and we yell
gotcha you've been punked ashden kutcher shows up ashden kutcher is the fish man oh man cool
you've been punked i was thinking about using the firecrackers to get them to go towards the
snare i guess like toss it on the opposite side so it would push them into it okay all right smart
and what's bonnie doing i don't know i'm just at the log i don't have anything that can help really
and what's maxwell doing hiding behind the log just waiting to uh see if anything happens i think
if we catch one i'm gonna pepper spray it season it up even if it's only half of the human bonnie
will still murder it i keep forgetting it's half you well you don't nobody actually knows that
vivian's the only one that's actually seen them at all so the three of you retreat back towards
the log hiding vivian you're the only one that's acting so give me a toughness to huck one of your
firecrackers i have a six a one and a two all right with a six the ultimate success you toss
one of these firecrackers in the dark it's hard to tell one from another but you can kind of make
out a group of them and you toss your firecracker into this group and it makes a loud popping
cracking noise obviously as it hits the water and you see several of the shapes switch direction
and begin going back downstream but one jumps forward catching itself in your snare and it is
tied up now is it hanging out of the water how do you set your snare up maxwell assuming that the
the water is deep there it would have been floating just on top of the water and like a ring so they
would have come up through it into the shallower end and popped right through the top okay so it's
still in the water yes okay so you have caught one of these creatures and it is flailing about
on the top of the water however it is fastly secured on the other end should we just untie
the rope and pull it out of the water no more untying ropes okay sorry should i pepper spray
it right in the eyes do we see if it even understands us maybe we can just talk to it
no it's eating people it's right in the eyes maybe if we take it out of the water we can talk to it
we haven't seen it eat any of it tried to eat me so was it trying to eat you or i don't know i
wasn't really there for that it made her go unconscious and then it was going to eat her
so we kill it yes okay pepper spray it's funny how you kill this thing that's part human
listen the pterodactyl was magnificent and beautiful and it's just the aminal and you know
what margaret brought it here it doesn't belong here these don't belong here but i don't have
anyone to blame for that oh i forgot you were under the trailer look what i did to my shirt
oh my god yeah i gotta get a new shirt this thing is screeching and clawing at the rope and as you
guys get closer you can see it has large long claw-like fingers and then it's trying to tear
at the rope bonnie give me a toughness roll of four to pepper spray this thing i got a two
a four and a five all right as it's shrieking you run up and pepper spray its face and eyes
which causes it to shriek even more and flail around however now i can't see
fuck these things guys they're monsters they're not part human they're part fucking monster
you are the monster oh my god that does talk i'm gonna back up i told you we should ask you
questions hey did you see a young girl and a guy that was fishing and like have you seen have you
been taking humans from the river puny human come here this creature dives as far out of the water
as it can which isn't too much but it like pulls itself towards you before flopping back in i think
vivian will pull out her pellet gun and aim it at the creature and be like excuse me sir when you're
gonna ask some questions you're gonna answer them and stop being so rude i'm not rude you're rude
you humans are always rude i don't think that's true we're gonna ask some questions though um did
you eat people yes you ate them yes it's like you killed them yes and i will kill more until i get
my son back who's your son i don't believe you anymore i don't know how to answer like it can
give you a name but like i'm sorry maybe that was too where is your son you humans have captured him
not us go on i don't know what you're talking about more details i don't care who it was if
we get him back will you leave i would okay if he is still alive one of you humans fished him out of
the lake days ago and i have not seen him since do you drink your urine for energy what i just
maybe he's the one in the juice bar no i think that's a different line of questioning oh he's
sorry about it jumps out of the creek again lashing at you guys trying to trying to grab you but
unsuccessful that was a sincere question you didn't have any options i think vivian's gonna
let off a warning shot next to his head i will kill humans every day until i get either the man
who caught my son or i get my son okay but who took what did he look like did he look like mr
mortenson what was his name jim mortenson i do not know these things it's probably mr martenson
what about the husband of the lady that you live with no he's dead oh yeah okay that makes sense um
um okay well don't kill anybody give us like 24 hours i'll kill you and it jumps out of the water
no you're tied to a rope you can't get me anyway um you're a smart fish you'll get out of it we're
gonna go find your son thanks bye just leave him tied up he'll get out okay as soon as you say that
um its claws dig through the rope clawing it self-free and it flops into the water and then
swims downstream i was told you we should have dragged it out of the water but did we find its
son now where do we look i think mr martenson would be the one who has the son yeah i think
so because the bait guy was like he caught something big and that's true but he was at the lake which
is really far away but he's not gonna be tomorrow night at the zoning board oh my god it's all
coming together all right so we go home we get some rest and then we meet up with margaret o
sullivan the sixth and then uh later in in the after we solve our portal problem we solve the
fish people problem at the same time just about yeah and then we can finally see what this juice
is about oh and all those people i can still hear screaming yeah there's definitely still people
screaming and fighting well this town has really gone nuts lately yeah it seems like a nightmare
but at least it seems like there's pretty much one solution to a bunch of the problems
and we're gonna solve every single one yeah the best bray blossoms ever i know we should get like
a mystery badge for solving mysteries a human being badge for being good humans can we get fish
people badges fishing badges probably oh all right maybe a snare badge maybe a knot badge for you
oh i want a dinosaur badge oh i don't think that's in the book but we should add it we should add it
there's dinosaurs in the world now can we add them guess i don't know how to make a patch we'll just
have to ask miss beans i'm i'm sure she'd understand she could make patches we say as we walk back to
max's to go to sleep oh so you guys spend the night at maxwell's house so the next day would be
tuesday yep i think this week is cancelled because of the riots right bonnie like we're not going to
try to go to school today yeah it seems dangerous to walk there let me check the local news station
very conveniently when you turn on the tv the news the very local news is talking about
kleinville's current situation and announces that all public schools are closed today hooray yeah
it's like a snow day due to the ongoing violence the violent day riot day riot day this is so
exciting i can't wait to wander through the rioted streets yeah the reality of how sad the situation
is is kind of slowly sinking in but i am really stoked to not have to go to school oh wait i don't
go to school well you have to go online school so you could just put it off i'll pretend the internet's
fighting too yeah the internet's not working because of the fighting most people are just
fighting on there anyway they knocked down the power pole they don't have any power yep that's
true all right well let's let's i guess we go check out junk and stuff finally do you think
we should bring trench coats just in case the mob is there we want to like do you have any trench
coats yeah that's a good question rain jackets should we stack on top of each other and wear
a trench coat so that we look like adults oh if we're taller don't leave us alone one and a half
because three of us on top of each other is too tall that is a little too tall yeah i mean we'll
just say we're in the nba i think matumbo was like that tall i saw it on an internet fact video
okay maybe we should just go there it's a riot no one's even gonna notice should we just go yeah
let's just go okay you guys leave maxwell's house and bob's junk and stuff is not far away as you
pass troop leader marla bean's house which is right next to where maxwell is currently staying
you hear a smash from a window at marla bean's house and she forcibly is pushing someone outside
one of her first floor windows until they go tumbling out hitting the ground good morning
miss beans who's your friend you kids better get off my lawn i swear to god if you don't get away
from here right now i'm gonna come out there and crack your heads why are you so mean to us
i don't think you can say that that was mean are you okay who's that guy mrs beans is just a little
tired right now and a little on edge and that guy well let's say i'll never take a date from grumble
again oh online dating is not a good idea on miss beans obviously you tell that to him did you drink
the juice is the brain juice back open uh not yet i heard they're going to be closed until their
shipment gets delivered in a few days and you like just hear her hooking out inside hang in there
miss beans we'll see you later guys this is a real problem yeah we should go to the juice bar no
that's the problem i know that's the problem but that's where the solution will be we're meeting
margaret o'Sullivan i just really want to go to the juice bar one thing at a time bob's junk and
stuff okay bob's junk and stuff everyone has their raincoats to hide from the mafia yes yep
purple is an odd color for hiding but it's the only one i got wow mine's yellow yeah mine's red
so we'll be really noticeable it's a chunky yard i'm sure there's plenty of different colored stuff
we'll hide in fine just let rub some mud on it we'll be good okay we'll splash in some puddles
on the way i'm just gonna do it right here drops into the mud and rolls around oh my gosh you're
dirty i saw my tongue at the that's what it is it's gotta keep rolling and then yeah that's it
then you just stand up and wipe it all around and it's good that was from the predator movie
yeah i did see that one but i'm not gonna put on my face because uh well why would people do it oh
yeah that's true that means it'll be like dog poop and stuff you you already rolled all over a bit
it gross all right let's go meet margaret oh oh so live it yes that is her name you're really
having a hard time on that one i mean i didn't remember the statue either so that's okay let's
go heading down to bob's junk and stuff you guys can see there's a section in the corner closest
to 1212 junk street where you saw margaret o'Sullivan before that like there's lights and
noise and like sparks coming from that section and there's actually a hole cut into the fence
down in the bottom corner i guess this is her front door yeah this seems like as good a place
as any to get in i guess there could be a dog around here right so we should be careful
yeah let's army crawl yeah that's right so i brought this beef jerky in my pocket oh yeah i
think that has the opposite effect yeah it'll draw them in but you should throw it as soon as you see
the dog i was just to make him happy when he sees us so that he identifies us as friends that's a
good idea hmm dogs love treats i'm not gonna crawl on the ground though well you gotta crawl
to get through the hole well i'll do that but i'm not gonna do the rest of the way okay it's really
fun down here though i'm just crawling around here you near your feet just around bonnie you're
getting under my feet yeah i know but i'm also covering up this brightly colored rain coat
that's true oh you could just roll in the mud that high that does it yeah but now i'm like an army man
oh look at me go they move so fast like this all right let's get in the fence that's a lot
bigger in here than i thought it would be yeah it is margaret o'Sullivan margaret sully margie oh
that's a good one too maybe maggie oh maggie maybe marge sully back here kids i'm back here
we found her it's margaret okay and it's only margaret oh i like margie well if you answered
the first time we wouldn't have to make up nicknames for you why do your kids just go
around yelling everywhere well why are you like to yell you said we'd be okay here we get excited
you are okay here besides the dogs and the dandelions what's wrong with the dandelions
if you see them stop on them i don't care what's going on with them if you see them stop on them
what does that even mean that means what it means stomp on the dandelions okay did you fix your gun
almost and she picks it up and you hear the same noise that charges up
so
and it fires a few shots this time straight right into one of these dilapidated cars that's like
stacked on top of each other i've almost got it it's almost working exactly how it should it just
keeps shutting down after only a couple shots so i just need a few more adjustments and then i'll
be ready to rip it's got to make the shots count that's right any closer to triangulating your
remote control yeah i don't know how to do that so so how are we supposed to know you guys are the
ones that came up with that idea i did not say that that was a possibility how do you propose
that we find it well we walk around until we find it i guess wow that seems really not great as a
plan we already did that before when we had to find the old vivian strouse and it was not
fun or easy but did you see it almost everybody's passed out all over town do you know if we met at
the diner we could be having coffee to go look at them there's no reason for us to be here so you
want us to pickpocket the passed out people i don't even think i had to roll in the mud like i did
probably not i was wondering about that one you are pretty dirty well it seemed like we were going
to do like a mission or something important i thought i'd be prepared i mean we are let's go
missioning okay we'll follow you stick this hold on i need i need a few more minutes and she picks
up some of her tools and keeps working on her gun we wait impatiently like children are you done yet
this is taking forever she tightens one last bolt yep all right she sticks in a giant duffel bag
okay do you have other weapons in there that we could hold on why is the bag so big if the gun is
so small the gun's rather large actually it's like oh a pretty good size she goes oh i forgot to
attach this thing and she clicks two parts together she goes there it's much bigger oh yeah now it
seems oddly proportionate yes and other weapons for you guys no i don't have this is all i've been
able to piece together okay all right so let's uh go around town i guess did you guys hear all that
fighting all night yeah i think it's because of the brain juice place oh the juice bar and that's
where you guys told me to go there they were very violent there yeah we're trying to get back there
i'm trying to get back there all right are we trying to go to the park to look for the the
where do we think the best place is to search for this remote well maybe we should look where we've
found dinosaurs all right they seem to come from between the park and the juice bar so far okay
well we can see the churlar park from here it's just the other side of the fence and i don't see
any there so we should head to the second place we saw them which was the juice bar and then we
can head to the original place we saw them which was pickle park yeah that makes sense what if we
go to bulk hogan's house and sell him more cookies and see if he has it okay yeah that couldn't hurt
bulk hogan likes to buy cookies that's kind of on the way i mean yeah sort of then we can pass that
gas place that apparently is so important in the future right margaret yes glizzy maxx express is
super important in the future cornerstone of nutritional excellence it's really hard to believe
you sometimes my feelings are hurt well you know you should have been more honest with this right
from the get-go i don't know what i was dishonest about well you showed up in fancy clothes talking
about the future and you're an adult and you kind of just made it seem like you really knew what was
going on and then it turns out you're kind of just bad at planning here's a little nugget of
information kids just because you're an adult doesn't mean you got your shit together it happens
the years start coming and they don't stop coming and no matter how many times you hit the ground
running and getting new starts it you know it just keeps happening to you and we're all not that
great at stuff i'm just a normal person on holiday i thought time travelers would be so much not
normaler listen there's like 1400 people in the future we can all time travel it's not that big
of a deal 1400 people total yeah like i said things go downhill pretty quick oh wow
so does that mean you have a lot of land because there's not a lot of people almost no land left
no no land oh it's a water world not i think more like toxic wasteland well still land there's still
land big pools ass anyways you guys don't have to think about that because we don't make it in the
future well i'm from like the year 3000 and something so no is the mcguiness family still
is the mcguiness family still around oh no yeah yeah i don't i don't know everybody that's alive
in the future it sounds like you could yeah it's not good guys so wow that's been macabre so um
thank you for telling me the horrible horrible future you know what we make it by it's not so
bad we come back here every once in a while um we should get our environmentalist badges vivian
and maxwell the futures bleak yeah i think i'm gonna pick up all the litter by the creek
yeah let's start small and do better anyway to the juice bar yeah i thought we were going to
bulk hogan's house oh yes okay eventually to the juice bar you know that stuff's gonna make you
sick again right listen maybe if i'm smarter we can figure this out better well i think the
smartest thing you could do is not have anymore well we'll figure it out when we get there huh
yeah you know what once we get to bulk hogan's house there'll be two adults and we can ask their
opinions on whether you should do any sort of juicing drugs performance enhancing substance
okay i think the answer is yes but okay let's go i heard he's the purist so you guys make your way
down the street towards bulk hogan's house on your way you see people collapsed everywhere the town's
actually pretty terrifying there's cars off the road you guys want to loot yeah i would like to
check their pockets for the changer yeah we should start checking all the bodies for the changer
yep anybody i walk by i'm gonna split the road i'll take this side you guys take that side okay
all right you guys spend a large chunk of time checking everybody's pockets because there are
just so many people around that are passed out but you do not find the changer on any of these
people this seems like a huge waste of time well it's less people we have to search or ask
that's true i agree we should keep doing this somebody's got to have the remote i forgot you
were with us yeah i get that a lot all right let's go knock on mr bulk hogan's door yep you guys
knock and you hear from inside who's at my door hey mr bulk hogan it's us it's the blossoms oh
hello children hi do you want more cookies not right now do you see what's going on out there
i do everyone's napping you shouldn't be out there in these trying times it's always good to
go to something familiar like cookies well i agree and those protein cookie monster things whatever
they were really were quite delicious we still have more okay everybody make a real quick charm
test of a five i got a five i got a three a five and a six i got a plus one to recalling facts and
details so i was like if i just make some stuff about nutritional facts does that mean i'm recalling
details but that's not i know it's not how it works it's more of a persuasion check
344 okay vivian he buys one box from you and he buys three boxes from bonnie and he looks at you
maxwell and sorry kid that's all my money that's okay it's five dollars per box i'll see you next
week yeah that sounds good we could do a weekly order sort of thing sure well yeah yeah how else
are you gonna keep all that energy he rips one of the boxes open and eats an entire handful of
cookies at once you kids shouldn't be out on the streets right now it's really dangerous out there
i know at the rate you're going you're gonna run out of cookies real soon you should probably
buy some oranges to be safe stock up not yet okay did you have any brain juice no i didn't touch
that crap oh okay we should we're gonna look into what's in it do you have any new probably
chemicals okay i told you he was a purist yeah i guess so do you have any uh new devices that
you might have picked up off the street or anything weird like that yeah i have the old lady's
wheelchair actually they just left it in the street after you guys found her i don't know what you
guys did but i was like man that could come in handy and now when i do leg day i don't even have
to walk the next day i can just ride around my house hmm that's not really what i meant by weird
devices but it is weird electronic yeah it's electronic no not the wheelchair did you find
any small changers remote control have you seen anything looks like it's out of a sci-fi movie
i recently purchased a flip phone perfect but not not exactly what you're talking about oh
but that's great flip oh did it swipe no oh it tapped it tapped okay yeah i have a bop it if you
want to borrow it that's a weird electronic but is that what you guys are talking about
now spin it oh it brings dinosaurs i gotta skip it i use it on leg day have you seen any dinosaurs
yeah really yeah i went to the museum a while ago they had this big one with a big flat head
reminded me of myself then they had another one and uh he had a big shell and a big club tail
and uh that reminded me of myself were they alive no they died did you see any alive ones around
town no i haven't seen any live dinosaurs none like walking out of mysterious circle vortexes
that just seem to appear in the air out of nowhere i did see some fossils no okay thank you for your
time though oh man we appreciate your patronage yeah uh come back in a week buy more of these
protein cookies yes sir mr hogan sir it's always a pleasure yeah it's been it's been a good time
i suppose uh yeah bulk out next time and he closes the door okay i don't think he's seen it so
maybe this side of the town doesn't have dinosaurs yet so where should we go now to the juice bar
yeah well let's just see what's going on over there yeah let's go i don't like this idea maybe
there's a lull in security today and i can finally see what's happening in that back room we can
finally see how the cookies are made how the juices are juiced how the kiwis are juiced yeah
i think that's what i'm saying are skinned oh that's definitely not the same vivian it's not even
close i think it's there's more than one way to skin a human oh i yeah that's it yeah so let's go
to the brain juice bar making your way to the brain juice bar there's the highest number
of people that have either bought themselves to exhaustion or been knocked out from fighting
around the juice bar you can not take too many steps without stepping over people
i'm gonna check them all for the changer as i go through the juice bar i'm gonna check them all
for the changer as i go around back is the juice bar open for business it is it is not open okay
should we just throw a rock through the window well uh how's the police department look right
now they're right across the street aren't they all tired and weird margaret turns around and
looks and like there's some cop cars that are crashed onto the yard and one that's overturned
and there's several cops that are passed out on their way in and out of the police station
margaret uh i think we are probably by ourselves on this one hi ho the dario smash the shit out
of the viv all right i'll get old sling out and get a big rock to okay give me a toughness of a
four six six and a five all right yeah you smashed this window and like you hit it perfectly in the
middle where the entire window shatters and then falls out of the frame and you guys have an entry
way into the juice bar that was like magic that was really cool this was so much easier than the
locked door all right i'm gonna go right to that back room we gotta see what's going on margaret
looks at the three of you okay you guys go do whatever juice thing you're doing i'm gonna keep
checking pockets out here good idea all right i'll save a lot of time okay good you guys head in and
as you head into the brain freeze juice bar all the lights are off it's kind of creepy inside
there's nobody left there's like juice sprayed all over the walls everything's kind of smashed
inside but you do hear a noise coming from one of the back rooms what was that see this is what i'm
talking about we should go check that out let's go quietly though yeah definitely you guys head to this
room and upon opening it yeah you realize it's a basement door and you hear the sounds of things
mixing and clanking and smashing and somebody lowly grumbling why do they always do all the creepy
stuff in the basements you know why can't they do it on the nice sunny second floor balcony i know
we've already been to so many basements i'm tired of basements this is a different basement perhaps
there is not evil ghosts down there oh perfect it sounds like you're saying you want to go first
yep i think so too okay we'll be right behind you you have the slingshot and the gun yeah i'm
gonna bring the gun out okay you take your gun out and head down the stairs first yep as you do
there's like a dim light that's flashing in this basement and as you the three of you hit the bottom
stair and look into the room you see a lady standing on a small bench holding a mixture up
and as soon as you guys come down she drinks whatever is in the speaker and throws it to the
ground and she says i will save my husband and as you're staring at her her head begins to ripple
and change shape and it grows and just where her brain cavity would be seems to grow to two then
three times its size and you can see the veins in her head and face begin to pulsate and she gets
a large number of wrinkles as it looks like her brain itself is pressing against the top of her
skull and she begins to levitate off that stool that she was standing on i'm gonna tap vivian on
the shoulder and then give her finger guns do any of us notice this person like at all notice or
no no do we uh do we know who this person is do we recognize her yes vivian and bonnie would
recognize her as their across the road neighbor dr rider oh shit so you're you're finger gunning
me i yeah i was i think until i realized who she was and now i'm like with my arms up shrugging
like i don't know what to do hmm i'm not sure that i would just want to shoot her since she's
like a recognized adult she did just drink a bunch of brain juice she doesn't count as an elderly
person pretends no yeah i didn't think she's not she's not elderly middle elderly maybe i should
try to talk her down yeah maybe you should mrs rider doc doctor who's there and she spins and
as she does and she moves her one hand um she knocks a bunch of things away from the wall that
are nowhere near her but telepathically she tosses them in a startled manner mrs rider it's just it's
me it's your neighbor um bonny you've come to stop me haven't you no i don't know what's happening
we've come to help you there's no helping me i am the help i'm gonna save my husband get out of my
way and she reaches her hand out and before you know it the three of you are pulled deeper into
this room so that's gonna end today's episode and we will see you next next tuesday
the tales from the crypt podcast is recorded in the wolf beard game studio in upstate new york
if you've enjoyed hanging out with us please subscribe on whichever platform you listen to
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find us on instagram at tales from the crypt podcast we've enjoyed our time with you today
and we look forward to seeing you next time at tales from the crypt
so
what can i say besides welcome i don't know man i get hung up on those things too
i've said hello or hello there every time greetings salutations greetings and salutations
everyone welcome back to tales from the crit i wasn't supposed to say welcome the whole point
was not to say welcome i have 435 confirmed kills in the future why you work at wasmo i'm a security
guard why do you kill everybody we take theft very seriously murder no we should get out of here guys
i don't like this anymore i shouldn't have put that part in no wind that back she's not a murderer
and why do they have belly buttons it's a good good question i don't know more breasts at all
yeah they are not mammals unless the bottom half is human so do they breed like fish like they just
know the bottom half is fish that's the whole point well i'm just saying that only the opposite
makes sense with the belly button and boobs imagine a fish top half with boobs human boobs
and does it have human legs yes but human boobs and the rest is fish some high heels yeah
oh you could probably find something like that online i don't want to google that we put a list
those are like the spongebob pc uh npcs they had human legs and fish tops yeah they did but not
no boobs i mean they just had shirts on do you think they spawn like sand like do they lay all
their eggs and then another male mermaid yeah they have to just ejaculate yes oh my god that'd be a
fantastic animated short right there how much do you think that caviar would cut that that
mermaid row that sounds foul half as count as being half cannibalistic sort of though
it's a gray area yeah it's a muddy gray area what do you think mermaids do taste like do they taste
like fish or do they test taste like octopus depends what have you eat so you're telling me
they change from red meat to fish meat yes yes that's what it looks like good thing i have
nimble fingers that's what my mom says all right so god he's already tied to the swing set oh we did
that sorry i missed that somehow yes i got distracted with the exciting conversation yes with a comb