Welcome to the Tales from the Crypt podcast. We are an actual play podcast featuring a
revolving cast of players making our way through micro RPGs, highly narrative tabletop games,
and the more popular and less known RPG systems from a wide variety of genres. Content may
not be suitable for children and content warnings can be found in the description. I'm Riley
Grubbs and I'll be your host, your guide, your GM on this episode of Tales from the Crypt.
Previously on Tales from the Crypt.
From the bushes jumps a fully grown Dionysus, which is like a velociraptor type dinosaur.
Jesus Christ. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. I don't know what to do about this.
I don't want to kill shit. We got to go. I'm not fighting this. We turn and run immediately.
Before you get the chance, somebody else busts from the bushes near the dinosaur and it is a
fully grown woman. Her clothes looks like futuristic. She's got like plasticky looking
armor. She's got lights glowing from her long brown hair and she runs and tussles with the
dinosaur and as she does, she yells, run, I'll find you later. And her and the dinosaur go tumbling
into the bushes. You guys open it up and it is medical test results for Mr. Rider. Mr.
Rob Rider, who you guys might know as Joyce Rider's husband. And it's a lot of medical
stuff and test results that you guys don't quite understand, but at the end it does have a
recommendation that he continues his recovery at home and possibly seeks the care of hospice.
You shoot your slingshot and it makes the loudest noise as you miss the door and kind of smash
through one of the windows. And upon doing so, breaking one of the panes, you see that same
ghostly apparition that you guys had all saw the last time you rent this house a few hours ago,
actually, come to the door. And this time with the window broken, she mouths something once again,
but you're able to make it out and she says, protect the seals. And then she disappears.
The seals? Into the house. Like an aquatic animal seal? Children! Oh my God, a ghost lady!
No, no, no, no, over here! Oh God, someone in the bushes. Stranger danger! Identify yourself!
Points a flashlight at the bush. Me too. It's going to be kind of strange.
I'm Margaret O. Sullivan. What? No. Who's that?
Welcome back to Tales from the Crit. We are continuing our playthrough of BadgeQuest and
I have at the table returning Anna. Welcome to me, yeah. Tim. Howdy, howdy. And Rebecca.
Hello there. Resuming the roles as Vivian, Maxwell, and Bonnie. We have special guest
Ewan McGregor here as well. Thanks. The negotiator. I'm not that cool. Unfortunately, none of us are.
So before we get back into the episode, let's get to know each other a little bit better.
Today's question from our pod deck interview deck is, if there was a sandwich named after you,
what would be on it? Okay, I guess I'll go first. All right. So on my sandwich there would be hummus,
spinach, cucumbers, and tomatoes with fried tempeh. Okay. And I would call it the veggie poet.
Veggie poet. Even though it's not named after my name. That's what I would name it. You know what?
That's all right. I think if the sandwich was named after you, you could rename it. Yeah.
All right. What is tempeh? It's like a grain protein thing. They make it with soybeans and grains
and it's essentially like another form of tofu. Okay. But it's firm. It's very good. Right on.
My sandwich would be a grilled cheese, peanut butter, and jelly sandwich on potato bread.
Potato bread is specific because that helps with the overall moisture level of the sandwich. But
you essentially do an open-face style PB&J, slap in some cheese. Swiss is really fun. Provolone
can be interesting too. And then you close it and then you slap the outside with mayonnaise,
throw in a hot skillet. It's amazing. And that sounds pretty great. It's one of my go-to snacks.
All right. Rebecca, what about you? Mine would be ham, turkey, bacon, pickles, and Russian dressing.
And if I could change the name, I'd call it the meaty Russian. I like that name. I'm not Russian,
but you know what? I like it. It's got the dressing on it. Yeah. Nice. I would call mine
the fire bomb. It would be buffalo chicken tenders, breaded buffalo chicken tenders, blue cheese,
two slices of pepper jack on a whole wheat wrap. And then you'd have to chase it with a nip of
fireball. Whoa. Oh my God. You have to. You have to. It's a requirement. The entire sandwich or
like each bite? The entire sandwich. When you finish, like you got a pound. Woof. Yeah. See if
it stays down. That's the real challenge. Oh, I thought it was like a special palate cleanser
or something. Somewhere around there, there should be like one drop of Dabam hot sauce too,
just to make your life a little extra miserable. Somewhere random too. It's never in the same place.
Yeah. It's just whatever. Chef's choice. You left the salad kid, the kid that's doing the salads,
put it on there. Dropped into the shot of fireball. Oh yes. You definitely won't keep that sandwich
down. That'll be disgusting. All right. Let's get into the episode. Vivian and Bonnie, you head back
taking the creek pass, which you have taken numerous times. However, this time when you get
towards the edge of the creek, both of you begin to hear some low singing and then it begins to
intensify. Both of you give me a charm test of five. Bonnie, it'll be a six for you. Nope. Five.
Vivian, you're passing all the checks today. All of a sudden, Bonnie collapses next to you. Oh my God.
And you can see- Like on the log? Yeah. We'll say on the log. Like halfway over the log, she begins
to collapse and grab for you. And coming from up the stream, you begin to see several large
figures. It's quite dark, so you can only make out that they're breaching the water and getting
closer and closer to you. Okay. I am definitely going to sling a rock at one of them. Make me
a toughness check of six. So you sling a rock in and then the singing begins to intensify as it
gets closer and closer to you too. Can you make me another charm test this time of six? Six. These
things begin to get closer and the singing then turns into a more skin crawling hiss and shriek.
And all of a sudden, you can see several creatures with fish-like tails, but human-like bodies
and large claws making their way up the stream towards you. I'm going to grab Bonnie's
unconscious body and try to drag it over the log. Yeah. You're able to get her off the log. Okay.
Just in time as these creatures get to where you just were. Yeah. And I'm going to guess you
just keep dragging or- Yeah. I think we're going to get a safe way from the water. I can't imagine
they can come out of the water. I'm not sure about that though. Crocodiles can do that. So I would
want to get a little far away. At this point, they don't follow you out of the water at least. So you
seem like you're safe, but you're continuing to drag Bonnie who is limp as a boned fish.
Bonnie, you're so heavy. You're lucky I like you. Should I try to slap her awake? I could do that.
I have a first aid kit on me. You would know that. I would, but am I allowed to use it?
I mean, yeah, you can do a skill check to try to bring her back out. You could call me for help on
the radio. That's true. Well, let's see if I can get her awake. Okay. Give me a four. Nice. Five,
five, five. Nice. You know from earlier that Bonnie used the smelling salt to rock Maxwell back awake.
You were able to do the same and Bonnie, you shoot awake. Oh my God. What? What? Did you hear that
singing? Yeah, I did. Oh, that hurt my head so much worse. I also saw what was singing and that was
far more terrifying. What was singing? Um, fish people things. Mermaids? Kinda. Oh my God. They
had a lot of claws and teeth. I thought mermaids were nice. I think they ate Samantha. Oh my God,
you're right. There was the big fish and then the splash. Oh my God, she got eaten. How are we gonna,
the cops are gonna think it's me anyway. They're not gonna think there's fish people. I mean,
they find her bones at the bottom of the river. I don't think they're gonna assume you ate her.
God, I hope not. I would never eat a person. You were with us the whole night anyway. We're your
alibi. Oh, thank goodness. That's true. Okay. Vivian, do you think you could sleep over tonight?
I know it's in school night, but maybe our parents will let us do it because the cops think we're
murderers. Well, they think I'm a murderer, so maybe my parents will let me sleep at your house.
Why don't we try that? Okay. Okay. And the two of you make your way to Vivian's house for the night.
And after a fraught night of sleep, Maxwell, you are the first one that wakes up. And as you are
laying in your bed, you start to see red and blue flashing lights coming through one of the windows
into your room. And upon inspection, there are several cop cars outside of your house.
Oh, man. That's my landlord's died. It's just my luck. Probably brought a ghost home or something
with me that went upstairs and... I'm gonna hit the radio. Bonnie, Vivian, are you there? Over.
Did my parents let me sleep at Vivian's? Yeah, sure.
Vivian, that sounds like Max. Bonnie, Vivian, are you there? Over.
I'm gonna scramble over and grab the thing kind of hanging off the bed all sleepy.
Max, what's... It's 6 a.m. Hey, so I just... There's a lot of police outside.
And I'm not sure if they're here for me or maybe I brought a ghost home, like a parasite,
and it killed the people upstairs. I know that's dark, but we had a lot of dark stuff happen
yesterday. And, you know, I ate a lot of sugar before I went to bed and that tends to give me
weird dreams because there's the form of chocolate. I'm getting sidetracked. Max, did you... Do you
have windows? Can you get out the back of the house? That's what I was gonna ask. Do you guys
think I should talk to the police or like try to get out of here? Because the last time we talked,
they didn't really seem to like me. If you run immediately, they're gonna suspect you.
This is true. You hear a scream come from upstairs.
Hey, it was definitely that one with the ghosts. All right. You should get over here as fast as you
can. I gotta go see what's going on. Over. Okay. And I run. Baby, and we have school.
Where do you run? Is there a connecting door that goes... Like, is there like some weird door that
goes to the upstairs? Otherwise I'll just leave through the whatever might exit. I mean, I guess
there's probably a door from your basement apartment up to the first floor. Yeah. Maybe
it's got some weird like keypad and they're like, this is the code, but don't ever use it unless
it's an emergency. This is not for... It will let us know if you use it. We will know only for
emergencies. So I'm gonna type that code in and then I'm gonna... I think halfway up the stairs,
I'm gonna start running as quietly as I can, kind of realizing like, wow, this is a scream and I
don't know what happened and I don't like the ghosts, so I don't really wanna. So then I'm
just gonna kind of quietly try to open the door to observe through the slit in the opening.
Okay. Upon opening the door and let's see. So looking around, you see several police officers
walking around the house, the first floor of this house, and Mrs. Smith is sitting at the kitchen
table crying as one of the lady officers has her hand comforting Lee on her shoulder and... Okay.
I'm gonna close the door quietly, turn the volume down on my walkie talkie.
Guys, I snuck upstairs and I took a peek and Mrs. Smith is crying really, really a lot and the
police are talking to her, but I can't hear what they're saying. What do you think I should do?
Listen to see if a dinosaur ate her husband. Oh, that's a good point. Or a ghost. Cat. I hear cats
eat things when they die sometimes. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna keep observing and try to see if I can
hear any of the conversation. Okay. You hear two cops talking. They come like kind of towards the
door, not knowing that it's open. They're just like meandering around and you're able to overhear
their conversation and the one goes to the other in between donut bites. Can you imagine that
another person's drowned after that girl went missing? We never found her, but it's kind of
strange that two people went missing in two days. At least this guy washed up on shore. Okay. I think
that's enough. So Max is going to close the door and actually start making his way back down into
the apartment and uh, Hey guys. Uh, so two things. Um, one, uh, they just said that another person
drowned in the river, uh, implying that, that, that girl that we saw the other night, she drowned.
And then they said that he washed up on shore, which I'm assuming is Mr. Smith. So, um, yeah,
I think Mr. Smith died last night. Max, this is crazy. You got to meet us at the clubhouse right
now. We have so much to tell you about the water. They're not drowning. I'm going to sneak out the
window just so I don't know. I just don't want to get roped into any of this. I'm on my way. Come on.
And I'm going to try to, I'm assuming there's got to be some egress windows legally. So I'm
going to try to sneak out of whichever one is on the opposite side of the house that the cops are.
I'm assuming they're not like casing the place. They just wanted to do some questioning. Yeah.
They don't look like they're actively investigating anything. So like, it's probably more suspicious
that you're sneaking out of the house, but you don't get seen. You're able to get through the
door and go about your day. Are the two of you going to take the same path that you usually do?
Um, I would say yes, but I'm going to take my brother's baseball bat with me.
Yes. We're going to tell Vivian's mom that we're walking to school today.
Oh yeah. It is a school day. So add your baseball bat to your inventory.
Okay. Vivian, do you have something I could maybe take to like a knife or something very, um,
what about a tire iron from the garage? Okay. I'll grab that on my way out. Do you have a crowbar?
I can break. Oh, I'm sure my dad has one. Let's go look in the garage. I think it'll be easier
to carry around. I can hide it in my sleeve. He's got a bunch of tools. You could take a hammer
if you want it. I don't care. You can take whatever you want from his garage. He's not going to notice.
He's hardly in here. I love the crowbar. This crowbar is nice.
Viv, it's time for school. We're going to walk to school, mom.
Walk into school? Yeah. We need exercise. How unsafe. Although I am a fan of exercise.
Yeah. And it's a buddy system. We'll be fine. Are you guys going to make it on time? You
better get going. We're going to power walk. We've seen you do it. You're such a pro.
I am. You know what? I'll escort you girls. Let's go. No, how about we just borrow your
sweat bands? You can't just borrow the sweat bands. You got to live the sweat band life.
We'll live the life, but we need to live it on our own and go off and be free. Mom,
do you know how embarrassing it is to walk with your mom when you're almost 11?
You're embarrassed by your mother? When you're almost 11 years old,
you don't walk with your mom to school. That's lame. That is true.
Well, now I want to do it even more. Oh no. Go get Andy up. He's sleeping.
He's got to get ready for school. Go bother him. Andy's got the day off. He's sick.
From what? We'll make him a smoothie. You have to stay and take care of him.
Make me a charm roll of a four. Five.
Five. I suppose you're right. Okay. You girls have fun. However, what's the need for the
baseball bat and the crowbar? The crowbar is hidden in my sleeve.
She can't see it. I'm going to try it for softball after school.
Okay. Interesting. Andy said I could borrow it.
All right. Well, he doesn't need it today. Okay. Goodbye.
Bye. I would imagine Vivian's mom is used to seeing her walk out of the house with various
things that could be happening. It's probably not too shocking.
Do you guys meet at the clubhouse? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
We take the water path, I guess. We're still not allowed to walk on the road.
Hey guys. Hi, Max. What's going on? Are you okay?
I'm fine. Yeah. I guess Mr. Smith died last night.
Yeah. So when Bonnie and I were crossing the creek last night, I definitely saw the things
that ate Samantha and probably killed Mr. Smith. What things?
They were fish-like, but terrifying. Like evil mermaids.
Evil mermaids? Yeah. Not the nice ones from like
Peter Pan and stuff, but they were scary, she said.
And they were singing, just like Samantha said. Yep. I heard it. It hurt my head real bad.
Even worse than the juice. Probably why you passed out.
Yeah. Oh wow.
I had to drag her across the log. It was not safe.
Well, what should we do about- should we tell somebody?
I feel like we have a lot on our plate between the dinosaurs and the haunted house.
I'm not sure if they're going to believe that we saw evil mermaids.
Well, they already think I killed herself. They'll think I'm full of excuses.
What if we use the dinosaurs to eat the evil mermaids?
I like that idea.
We're not sure how we're going to do it, but it seems like it'd be a good plan.
It does seem to solve one problem with another.
Yeah, we gotta get the portal by the river.
But wait a minute. So wherever the dinosaurs are is where the person with the changer is?
I bet it's Bernice.
You think it's Bernice? I hope she got eaten instead.
Would she go to our school if she was in a different troop?
Bernice does not go to your school.
Okay.
Are you guys inside their clubhouse?
In the garden, probably.
Yeah, by this ruined statue.
Okay, standing outside of the garden, you overhear a couple people outside on the street,
and their conversation starts to get pretty aggressive.
And you hear the first one, bro, I'm gonna knock your ass out if you keep this bullshit up, man.
I'm tired of you always fucking talking.
It's nonsense. All you say is nonsense.
I can't fucking take it anymore.
And the guy just punches the person that he's with.
And they began to fight right in the middle of the street.
This is how the brain juice makes me feel.
I don't know if you noticed, but I've been pretty angry about it.
Should we break the fight up or let them deal with-
No, they should deal with their own problems internally.
But also, I want you to know that I really want another brain juice,
even though it makes me want to punch you both.
Okay, well, I'm gonna make sure you don't drink another brain juice.
I feel like that's counterproductive to what we need to do, and that's working as a team.
We'll just see if we go buy it.
We'll see if we go buy it today.
We never go buy it.
Well, we might.
We never do.
Well, we'll see.
We had to go out of our way for that.
We'll just see what happens.
Anyway, that's definitely what's going on out there.
But that seems like a them problem.
I still would like to know what's in the brain juice.
I would do another taste test.
If you need to do-
I'm not asking you to do that, Bonnie.
Just do it.
That is not- no.
Well, we'll just see about that.
Anyway, first things first, the dinosaurs and the cops and the drownings-
And the haunted house.
We have to stop that.
That too.
Maybe if we started the city hall, we could get in line first?
At least that seems like a good idea.
At least that seems the most easiest to solve at the moment.
Yeah, that seems like the most direct thing we know to do.
Mrs. Beans comes out into the garden.
Uh oh.
Children!
Hi, Mrs. Beans.
You're supposed to be in school.
What are you doing here?
We're going to a special field trip to the town hall.
That's not what's going on.
You guys gotta get to school.
Maxwell, you need your education.
Do you go to the school with them?
Children, get to school!
You can't be here.
Mrs. Beans is going to get in trouble if you're here.
Okay.
We'll see ya.
Why are you going to get in trouble?
Allowing kids to skip school and hang out at the clubhouse with an adult is a weird thing.
We're not skipping.
We're- have a special field trip.
Vivian, you are a consummate liar.
Please get it.
Just go away.
But Mrs. Beans-
Should we just tell her?
Do you have a controller in your possession?
Oh.
A controller?
Yes.
Of what?
Like a fancy TV changer.
One that seems mysterious.
I have a universal remote, yes.
It's mysterious to me, but mostly because it goes on HDMI 1 and I don't know what that means.
Well that just means you're in the wrong input.
You gotta push the input button.
Okay, well anyway, so it's not like a special medal or anything.
I believe it's plastic.
Have you seen any dinosaurs?
Children, is it possible that maybe you're suffering from some sort of group psychosis?
The things that the three of you have been talking about lately are not really in line with what
I historically know you two to talk about.
It's your friend Maxwell.
Nah, he's cool.
Okay.
He taught us a lot about stuff.
He watches documentaries.
Yep.
Okay.
And he knows a lot about aliens, which we thought we had a problem with,
but really it's just time traveling.
And dinosaurs.
I'm gonna call the school and let them know that you're gonna be there very soon.
Yes, sure, you tell them that.
And I'm gonna drive you to school.
No, don't do that.
We have to go to the city hall.
Bye!
I'm gonna call your parents.
We're gonna start walking away.
We already told them we're walking to school.
Bye.
We're going to school now!
We leave.
We're walking away.
I don't know how to handle this.
That was why you just have to agree right in the beginning,
because adults think that you're just gonna do what they say if you agree right away.
Oh, okay.
That's a good tip.
I learned that the easy way, yes.
But yeah, we should speed walk now.
Make sure we have to walk up Junk Street, though,
so it looks like we're heading to the school.
Yes, and let's be careful when we cross Main Street and go straight to the city hall.
Where is the city hall?
It's right past the freaking juice bar.
Of course it is.
Oh, cool, we're gonna go right by the juice bar.
We're on a time schedule, Bonnie.
We're not stopping.
Okay, we'll get it on the way back.
There's always a line.
We're not waiting that long.
We have to stop for the freaking juice.
Vivian, you don't get it.
You didn't try it.
It was really good.
And now you're miserable.
Yeah, well, you're always miserable.
And I don't need the brain juice for that.
Well, that's what happens when you're mean.
Okay, are you really getting more juice?
Yeah, get it on the way back.
Let's just go to the stupid city hall.
All right, good.
God.
You want to go up through this spot since we already know that
instead of walking the whole way up Main Street?
Just sneak through that back alley that we already know behind the ice cream parlor?
Sure.
Yeah, because we're trying to save time, right?
We just got yelled at by multiple adults.
Yep.
Okay, you guys make your way up past the ice cream shop in the alley behind the juice bar
and begin to make your way kind of through that towards the town hall.
And as you're in this alley, all of a sudden you hear a little scraping.
And as another fight breaks out next to the juice bar, kind of causing a large distraction,
as there is quite a line of people, as you guys are behind the juice bar, all of a sudden three small,
but raptor-looking dinosaurs standing about one foot tall jump out of this bush in front of the
three of you.
Are they like compies, like in The Lost World?
Yes.
Where they eat that girl?
Yes.
I'm going to start kicking at them.
Okay, we're going to move into a scrap.
So everybody roll initiative.
Four.
Two.
One.
Okay, so nobody rolled a six.
So these three dinos are going to go first and they are only acting in the fight stage.
So we're in the declaration phase, which means the three of you get to say which phase you are
going to act in.
That would be the think phase, which would be to try to talk your way out of or use a
charm to get out of this situation.
There is the running phase, which you could try to improve your position or get the fuck
out of there, or there's the fight phase.
Vivian's going to do the fighting phase because she's got the animal taming badge, so that
adds a die to my fighting animals.
Okay.
I want to also fight.
I'm going to kick these little fuckers.
Okay.
I'd like to try and resolve this scrap using my Just Say No badge to charm them.
I do have a specific thought in mind.
I hope you have like a pile of meat in your pocket.
I thought I was thinking...
Well, I assume...
It's a mistake.
I was thinking this is from the back alley.
There's got to be that dumpster right there.
So, if I just kind of open the side hatch of the dumpster and it's like...
Food.
Smelly food in here.
Yeah.
It's too bad you didn't get that steak from the doctor last night.
Mmm.
Probably would have been bad by now.
Perfect for compies.
You don't care about that.
Yeah.
Spoiled.
But yeah, fighting isn't really going to do me too much good.
I only get two dice if I use my knife.
Well, there are three, so I guess maybe I should join in the skirmish and just go for it.
I don't know how you're going to talk to them, so...
Yeah, I know you're going to do the dumpster.
The charm is just the action, yeah.
We don't have HP in this game, right?
Gentlemen, would you please mind stepping aside?
We are in a rush to the town hall.
You don't really have...
I'm HP.
Okay.
Democracy is very important to us this day.
Children love politics.
That's historically accurate.
Mm-hmm. Phantom Menace taught me that.
All right. So, Maxwell, because you're the only one not operating in the fight stage,
you're going to go first.
Okay.
Which phase are you acting in?
The think phase?
I guess think, yeah.
Okay.
I want to try to resolve the thing that hasn't started yet before it starts.
And how are you going to... what's your plan?
Well, so I'm assuming that there's a dumpster in this alley, potentially,
next... close enough where I can kind of just like open the side of it and just...
I'm kind of hoping... essentially, I'm hoping that they will smell food out of this dumpster
if I allow somewhere for the smell to waft out of.
And then they will just go for the food over...
The challenge.
Yeah, instead of us.
Okay.
Yes, there is a dumpster that's established that there is a dumpster in that location.
Go ahead and give me...
Let's see if I think that would be a charm.
Strange.
Give me a charm of four.
And for every success, you will lead one of these little dinosaurs away.
Oh, right.
Cool.
I got a two, a five, a five, and a six.
Shit.
Okay.
Full success.
Nice.
So you are able to lure all three of these little dinosaurs into the dumpster.
Oh, into the dumpster?
Oh, and just shut the door.
Shut the door.
Okay.
And you've locked the three dinos inside.
Hey, we should call that lady on our...
Yeah.
First of all, I can't believe that worked.
But then we should call that lady on the... call her on the radio so she can come...
Find the thing.
We gotta find the person that has the changes.
But she said if we found dinos to call her.
Okay, let's call her.
And we can also search around for whoever has a fancy changer in their hand.
Do you think...
Oh, you think they're close to here because the dinosaurs are close to here?
That's what she said, right?
I think so.
They'd be nearby.
Because the portal would have to be close.
Okay.
Let's make our way around the next corner here and kind of peek at Blank Street.
Maybe... maybe they're in the line for the brain juice.
That would make a lot of sense.
Then I could get a brain juice now.
No, Bonnie.
Oh.
We're not doing that.
We don't want anyone in line to see us.
We just want to spy on the people in line to see us.
We're just spying on the people in line to see if anyone has some weird looking phone?
Maybe I could do some recon in the line.
No, Bonnie.
Okay.
It's for your own good.
I just really want some.
You still have a headache.
You guys are so annoying.
Fine.
We'll just look with our eyes.
It's not...
Not get any juice.
It's not you talking.
It's like that Snickers commercials, you know?
Yeah.
No, I'm just hungry.
It's just your addiction talking.
Okay.
Let's go look and see who's in the line.
Maybe it's someone that works there.
Oh, that means we have to get inside.
I'll go inside.
No, Bonnie.
You stay outside.
You ask the people in the line.
Someone else will go inside.
Yes.
I'll go get in line.
Vivian.
Vivian, why don't you...
You do...
I'm so flustered.
Okay.
Let's just go check who's in line.
You're making me nervous about wanting to go into that state again,
because maybe that's what made you vulnerable to the singing fish ladies.
But I think that I'll try to get into the back door to do some snooping in there.
And then if I get in, I'll give you a hootie-hoo over the radio,
and you can sneak in this way.
But in the meantime, you should monitor that line and see if anyone has some sort of
device that looks like it's from 200 years in the future.
Okay, let's go.
I'm going to go sneak over there and look around.
I'm going to peek at the line.
How close do you get?
Um, I'm like against the wall, so no one really notices me.
So I'm close to where the line starts, but probably not close to where it ends.
As you peek around the wall, you hear multiple people shoving and pushing each other in the
line. You can feel the tension rising.
And as you're looking around the corner, one lady wheels around and accuses the person from behind
her of pushing her. Are you trying to cut me?
And the other lady, you're saying, no, get the fuck out of my face.
And they begin fighting.
And then multiple people begin fighting.
More and more fights break out in this line.
And then the soundtrack slowly fades in.
Let's start a riot.
Maltav cocktails come out of nowhere.
Is there anyone in line that's not fighting?
That's just like standing quietly.
At this point, no, there's no one standing quietly.
Anybody that's in this line is getting pulled into a scrap.
So the only people that aren't fighting are trying to get away from this place.
And the people that work there are not fighting.
They're fearing probably for their lives.
So Bonnie, what's happening?
It sounds like it's getting really loud over there.
There's a big fight going on, but I don't see anybody that has the controller.
Well, this is a perfect time for a distraction.
I'm going to go for the back door while no one's paying attention to what's happening over here.
Good idea.
I'm going to try to get into that back door again like I did earlier.
All right.
What are you trying this time?
We're going to try the platinum card again.
No, use the chip that the Margaret O'Sullivan gave you.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe one of those those little coins will turn the lock.
Okay.
Give me a skill and it's still at a six because that's what it was last time.
A four, a five, and a five.
Can I reroll for this puzzle as I'm a detective?
Go for it.
I'll give it to you.
Let's get a six.
Let's get a six in here.
No, even worse.
Two, two, and a four.
I should have left it on a high note.
You, for the third time, break something off into this door.
They're going to have to call a locksmith.
I'm really doing some damage.
Oh, am I in a vandalizer now?
Hey, I didn't find anything, guys.
The coin isn't as strong as I thought.
It just snapped right off.
You broke a cool alien coin?
Well, I mean, it might not be alien.
I kind of think that she just escaped from a place with white shirts and a lot of crayons
and she made these out of something weird like blue Hershey's candy wrappers or something.
Oh, man.
Well, let's call her about the dinos anyway.
Yeah, definitely.
You want to call her?
Yeah, I'll call her.
Margaret, are you there?
Gotta say over.
Over.
I almost didn't hear you.
Over.
But yes, I'm here.
Over.
Okay, we found some dinos.
Over.
Good.
Did you take them out?
Over.
They're in a dumpster.
Over.
Do we need to always say over, by the way?
You're saying it.
I'm saying it.
I was only, I was only, I don't know why I fell into this child's trap.
I don't think I need to say over.
My walkie-talkie is pretty high tech.
10-4, good buddy.
Okay.
Yeah.
Did you kill the dinos?
They're not dead.
They're in a dumpster.
Why are they in a dumpster?
Kill them.
Um, okay.
Wait, don't we have to, are you gonna come?
Where are you?
We're at the juice bar.
Okay, yes.
I'll be there in no less than 45 minutes.
Oh my god, why?
The town isn't that big.
I've got a lead on some of my old tech.
I've been trying to track it down.
The continuum of transfuncture?
Yes, that.
Oh.
To run into my Quasma-Rady magnet gun.
The guy's gonna be gone by the time you get here, whoever has a controller.
I thought you were looking for that.
Chase him down, get it.
I don't know who it is.
You gotta help.
I will be, okay, well, I can't just make it happen.
I don't have the controller to open the portal.
I don't understand you.
I'm gonna kill these little dinos for you,
and you can't even come here and look for a guy with a remote.
I will be there in no less than 45 minutes.
That means it could be more than 45 minutes.
Well, it's gonna be even longer.
Okay, Space Lady, thank you.
We probably won't be here, but, you know, the dumpster's at the fruit bar,
and you can call us when you get over here and tell us what's hap- what's up.
The fight from out front of the juice bar begins to spill into this back alley.
Okay, does anyone have a way to create fire?
I say we just throw a match in the dumpster and walk away.
Oh, I have my baseball bat.
I was gonna bash their lats.
Oh my god.
I like the fire idea.
I was thinking dinosaur barbecue, and you're thinking that came when the heads pop up.
Yeah, whack-a-mole.
Whack-a-mole.
I have no stake in this argument.
I don't want to kill anything, but I do want to find the person with the changer.
As far as I'm concerned, I think these dinosaurs are about as real as those apparitions.
Who knows if a bat will even hit him?
It might go right through the head.
Vivian's gonna slide open the dumpster and start bashing with her baseball bat.
Okay.
All your hard work.
Okay, Vivian, give me another initiative roll.
And I'm fighting an animal, so I get another die.
Nice.
That's a two.
Okay.
The three dinos, as soon as you slide this open, all turn their head and look at you,
and start making like this little noise.
They're all going to act in the fight phase, so they're all going to go first in front of you.
I thought they were happy and eating.
It's their mom.
Thank you, thank you.
Roll the charm.
So three of them jump at you.
Can you roll a d6 for me and see if you can defend?
That's a six.
All right.
So all three of these jump at you, nipping.
And none of them manage to land a bite on you at this time, but they are like clambering
out of the dumpster and are like around you guys now.
So it is your attack, so you can try to hit one of them.
Okay.
Yeah, I think maybe one of them's like on my bat, so I like whip it off of it and then
smash it against the pavement.
Okay.
Make a roll for me.
That would be toughness plus my one die, right?
Not ideal.
I have three twos and a four.
Can we jump into this battle?
You can now.
So you do not smash this one into the dust like you had hoped, but they all are, all three
of them are now around Vivian.
The crowd is also spilling into the alleyway, right?
So there's feet maybe stomping some from the riot.
I mean, there's fights happening.
I don't know.
I would say at the moment they're mostly concentrated around you.
The fight hasn't spilled in.
The dinos are still kind of a you guys issue.
I rolled a six for initiative.
Okay.
So you're just going to jump in.
Oh, okay.
Well, then I rolled a six to attack.
I only used one dice though.
Okay.
So you just hold on to that for a moment.
Maxwell, what are you doing?
I guess I got to fight dinosaurs now.
All your hard work.
He's got a door open.
But in a very cautious manner.
Yeah, this is going to go terribly.
He's not a fighter.
Okay.
Vivian, can you roll to defend again?
Just like a single die?
Yep.
It's just one d6.
Um, that's a four.
Sorry.
All your toughness.
Okay.
And I can still use my one because I'm fighting an animal.
Right?
Sure.
Two fours, a two and a one.
Okay.
You let out a shriek as one of these dinosaurs jumps up from behind and bites you right above
your hip, gnawing a little piece out of you as it jumps off with your little bit of flesh in its mouth.
What are your ability scores?
Uh, toughness of three, charm of one, and skill of three.
Okay.
So you're going to take a minus one to your skill at the moment.
So bump that down to two.
And then it is the three of your guys' attack turns.
Oh, we're all in.
Oh, we're all attacking now.
So now if you're all going to attack, and then you'll all act in the fight.
I got a one, a three and a four.
Okay.
No attacks.
No good attacks from you.
Two and a six.
Okay.
Good attack there.
Uh, six, five, four and a two.
I am stabbing with my Swiss army knife because that's my bonus die.
I'm stomping but missing everything, apparently.
I'm swinging with my baseball bat.
Good call.
Okay.
You each do one point of damage to these little dinosaurs and the scrap continues for
at least another turn.
So they're going to go.
They're going to act in the fighting phase again.
What about you three?
Still fighting.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bonnie, make me a defense roll.
Two.
One of these little dinosaurs runs up ripping into your shin with its claws and its teeth.
And it's going to take one away from your toughness.
Oh no.
Okay.
And then it's the three of your guys' turn.
I got a six and a three.
Two sixes and two ones.
Okay.
Two threes.
All right.
Two sixes and two ones.
And what'd you get?
A three and a six.
You were able to stomp on the one that just bit at you, mashing its little body down.
You hear some, no, you feel some bones break underneath your heel.
Vivian, I'm guessing you're smoking one with your baseball bat.
Oh yeah.
Yeah. You smash this little dinosaur's neck and head with the bat as you continue to bash it down.
And yeah, they super run away after that.
So the one.
The two are dead, right?
One is like supremely injured and not dead.
The other takes off into the bushes.
Yeah.
You get out of here, you little scamps.
We did good.
We did really good there, guys.
Yeah. I felt that one's gross little bones crush under my feet.
I hated it.
It was thrilling.
It was disgusting.
Ew.
I'm just glad I finally did something aside from run away.
I usually just run away.
Yeah. You kicked ass.
Yeah. I should probably wipe the blood off this knife.
Yeah. That's a good idea.
We're already accused of so many things, I feel like.
Where do I rub it?
I can't wipe it off on my...
I don't have a towel.
On the grass.
There's probably a dirty napkin in the dumpster you can use.
That's a good point.
I'm gonna check the dumpster for a dirty napkin.
Or a newspaper.
Stick your arm in the side hole.
Anything.
Yeah, sure.
I'm gonna look with my eyes first.
It is a dumpster.
You look with your eyes and you see that there's a bunch of trash in here.
But there is some trash that I guess is less trashy than others.
And you can use that to wipe the blood off.
Sure.
I'm gonna look at this as half full.
I'm gonna grab the cleanest trash that I can find.
There you go.
And wipe the blood off of the blade.
And then just put that...
Because I don't want to...
You know, that's gross.
I'm gonna throw it right back in.
Awesome.
And at this time, the fight continues to spill into the alley.
And you guys can hear it.
The fight going on inside the brain freeze juice bar as well.
And you hear a big loud thud come from that door that you've been trying to hack into.
Can someone else please try to open this door?
I am not good at it, but I'm telling you, there's something on the other side of this door.
Sounds like they're gonna bash right through it.
I'll run at it.
I'll run at it and try to hit it with my shoulder.
That's a toughness check.
It's a toughness of a six.
Oh, no.
I crashed into the wall really hard.
Ow, that really hurt my shoulder.
I'm really not doing so good.
I think it opens from the other side, Bonnie.
Vivian, do you want me to patch that big hole in your back?
Um, maybe put something on it like hydrogen peroxide, because who knows what's in that
dinosaur's mouth.
All right, I'm gonna patch up Vivian and myself.
I get my skill back, my skill point back if you...
I don't know.
Yes.
I'd like to kind of whisper to Vivian, just kind of like,
do you think maybe Bonnie does need another brain juice because she just ran into a door?
I was concerned because it's like a steel door,
and I don't think it was gonna break like that, but um,
I don't think she should have another one.
No, okay.
Yeah, she kind of ran before I could say stop, but...
It's like deadbolted.
Yeah, that's right.
I'll talk fast.
I'll get it.
I'll get it next time.
Your first aid kit only has two more uses.
I know, I'm trying to get it.
Okay.
Hey, uh, Bonnie.
Yeah?
Do you remember what day it is?
Yeah, it's Monday.
Do you remember what we did yesterday?
Yeah, we did a lot of things yesterday.
That's true.
Okay, I think we're good.
Okay, I'm good.
We're good.
I didn't look at the door.
I thought it would just be a wooden door.
I didn't look before I ran.
I know the classic question is like, who's the president?
But um, I don't know in this universe, so I didn't want to bring it up.
I don't...
Nixon.
Always Nixon, though.
Never not Nixon.
Robo-Nixon.
Oh.
So at this point, the brawl is like all up in the alley, and like you guys are starting
to be affected by it as they're bumping into you, and there's like full grown adults brawling
all around you.
Maybe it's time to just go to the city hall?
Yeah, we might as well.
We got time to kill.
Yep, let's run, go to run away from this fight.
Okay.
As you head towards city hall, cacophony of sirens are going off as the police make their
way to the juice bar, which is devolved into an all out brawl, and lots of police officers
are making their way down and trying to get everybody off the street.
You're able to make it to the town hall.
It's a buzz with what's happening.
I think we'd like walk in and find like there's a front desk situation?
A clerk to help us?
Yes, Mrs. Schnurdly is the front desk clerk.
Schnurdly?
Schnurdly.
Schnurd.
Schnurdly.
Schnurdly. She's German.
I think she just sounds like Beaker from Muppets.
Schnurrda burrda burrda.
Schnurdler.
Hello, how can I help you children?
Yes, Mrs. Schnurrblab, do you have um?
Schnurrdly, it's S-C-H-N-E-R-D-L-Y Schnurdly.
Okay, lady, do you have like a committee on?
Mrs. Schnurrblab.
Okay, do you have like a committee on like demolishing houses?
Probably.
Editing session?
Can we go talk to them?
That's probably something that has to do with the zoning board.
Okay, where is that?
They meet every other Tuesday.
Is that this Tuesday?
In room 337.
Okay, like this, like tomorrow?
On the third floor.
Okay, uh, like tomorrow?
Do you have like the head committee members number?
Head committee members number?
You're looking for Jim?
Jim?
Jim.
Jim Mortensen.
Jim Mortensen, okay.
Do you have like a phone book or something?
They do meet tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night is late though.
Okay.
Can you tell us if that house is going to be demolished anytime tomorrow?
If that house is going to be demolished anytime soon on Junk Street?
Well, I'm not part of the zoning commission.
I'm just the front desk receptionist.
Well, then you can see the paperwork, can't you?
No, you'd have to file it.
Yes, you'd have to file a request for an injunction.
You need to fill out form 331B for access to the public records.
It's very urgent that I know if the house is being demolished because there's something
in the basement that I need to retrieve and I don't want to go in there when it's being,
you know, brought to the front.
The house is to be demolished, yeah.
Yeah, when?
Well, I don't know.
You'd have to fill out form 331B.
But we don't have time for this.
Where is Mr. Mortensen?
Can you call him?
Jim?
Yes, can you call him?
He fishes on Mondays.
Where does he fish?
Well, I don't know.
Do I look like an atlas?
He can't go fishing.
It's dangerous.
Is he at the creek fishing?
Fishing isn't dangerous.
But the swimming is.
Who said anything about swimming?
So tomorrow night then, the zoning board, what time is that?
630 PM.
Okay.
To 638 PM.
Oh, it's a quick meeting.
There's not much to talk about usually.
Just the one house, really, I guess.
It's been the item of discussion for a few meetings now.
Yeah, do you have any vested interest in the house?
No one does.
That's why it's getting demolished.
Well, we think you should historically-
Preserve.
Yeah, you gotta preserve the historic-
Protect.
House.
Well, if you're concerned about historically protecting,
then you need to go and talk to the Historical Society.
They meet every third Thursday on floor two in room 226,
and they meet from 735 to 814 PM.
8 what?
814.
Oh, I thought you said FURF-teen.
I didn't know what that meant.
English isn't my first language.
Oh, it seems very much like it is, but okay.
It wasn't.
Okay.
Anyway, is this the third Thursday?
The third Thursday was last Thursday.
Oh, crap.
Who runs that?
Anna Morrison.
Oh, is that- though that was Mortensen.
Yeah, it seems a lot of people that run things have names that start with M.
And are almost exactly the same.
It's close.
Funny how names work.
Okay, bye, Mr. Schieble.
Like mine is Mrs. Schnerbly.
Goodbye, Schieblers.
Okay, we leave.
I'm leaving.
Okay, that didn't work at all.
What is with government?
Oh, that sounds awful.
We can't get it historically preserved.
We have to just talk to the zoning board without doing that.
Okay, do we know where Mr. Mortensen lives?
We could just go to his- we don't want to wait till tomorrow.
I have a feeling all these adults are getting a little angry with the fact that we keep
going to their houses for business.
Well, you know, I don't know.
Well, they said he was fishing.
We could look at the creek.
That's true.
Oh, or maybe he would be at the bait shop.
Oh, where's the bait shop?
It's over past the school.
You just have to go over the bridge.
Or it's like right across the street from where you guys live.
We passed the school.
They'll catch us and we'll have to go to school today.
Max, you might even have to go to school for some reason.
Grown-ups are weird.
Well, that's okay, because if we go to the park, we can try to find where the dino was
yesterday that we saw and maybe-
Oh god, that dino was much bigger.
Okay, let's go.
It was a lot bigger.
Wow, maybe it will seem smaller and it won't see us as much.
Oh, are we gonna meet Margaret back at the place with the dinos?
Was she coming?
Has it been 45 minutes?
Talking to that lady must have been at least half an hour.
Oh, it took forever.
And she didn't even tell us really anything.
She spelled her name out four different times.
I don't care what it was.
It was Snee-sneeters or something.
Oh god.
Anyway, how long has it been?
Like 10 minutes.
It's like 10 minutes.
Yeah, it really hasn't been long at all.
Yeah, I think we should start-
Go to the bait shop?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think we should go from Town Hall through this back alley, through this parking lot,
and then sneak in through there.
And then cross that rock path.
And we'll stay like just in the tree line so the school doesn't see us.
Okay.
You guys make your way back to Pickle Park.
Awesome.
Yep.
Are we going to try to look for the dinosaurs or just make our way along the edge?
Are we going to go back up into here or are we just-
Our main goal right now is that fishing shack looking for Jim Mortensen.
Yeah, I don't think we should go looking right for the dinos.
Yeah, I agree.
They just might be in the park.
They can find us, I think.
Yeah, they'll find us.
So do I actually have to sneak down and crouch like you guys are?
I don't have to be there.
So if they see me, they're not going to say anything.
I don't- they don't know who I am.
But they might make you go.
They might make us go.
If they catch you, we'll be caught while I'm going to crouch.
They can't tell just from looking at you that you're homeschooled.
I mean, kind of.
Well, if I don't look familiar, I would just go to a different school.
Anyway, they wouldn't know that from this distance, though.
That's a good point.
I think we should just creep into the tree line and beeline it for that-
the path, the rock path across.
All right.
Okay, we have to be very careful.
Plug your ears so you don't hear the sirens when we get there.
The mermaid people.
I thought that was down by the bridge.
They-
Well, it's all water.
I don't know.
I'm sure they can swim the whole length of the creek.
I don't want to die.
That was really scary.
It hurt a lot.
You didn't even see them, Bonnie.
Well, they hurt my brains.
They did do that.
I'm gonna pull a tissue out of the pocket tissue pack that I have
and make little things to put in my ears while we're making our way to the stream.
Yeah, you guys make it across the stream without any real issues.
The rocks are pretty large, pretty stable and dry,
so you guys can skip across and then you're behind John Boy's bait and tackle.
I wonder if the mermaids are only out at night,
because we've never seen them in the daytime.
That's true.
Interesting.
Let's go into the bait shop.
What?
Oh, stop.
I'm gonna pull those earplugs out.
Oh.
I put tissues in my ears because you said the things were-
We had-
Yeah, I was just telling Vivian I think maybe that's a nighttime problem.
Oh, that-
So maybe you don't have to worry about that.
Okay, we should definitely get real ones anyway.
They're not as effective as tissue pieces.
Maybe the bait shop has earplugs?
The bait shop has earplugs?
They're more like a hunting thing, but we can try.
Yeah, there are-
Or the WWE probably hasn't.
Yes, that is true.
But we're over here now, so-
Yeah, no, it'll be like later.
Yeah, let's- we'll see here.
Cool.
Okay, we go into the bait shop?
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
Okay, it's a pretty typical bait shop and standing behind the counter is none other
than John Boy himself.
Howdy, kids!
Hello.
Hello, mister.
How are we doing today?
We skipping in school to do some fishing.
Oh yeah, you know us.
Don't love that fishing.
Fishing's the best.
You gotta say, you probably should go to school and get yourself some education.
Well, actually we're Brave Blossom, so we're working on our fishing badge.
Well, howdy.
Nothing John Boy likes more than education than selling some bait and tackle to some
would-be anglers.
Yep, Mr. Mortenson said he was gonna teach us how to fish.
Mr. Mortenson?
You're going out with Mr. Jim Mortenson?
I haven't seen him since last week.
He was going on and on about going down to the lake, because he did see something big
down there and he was saying he was gonna catch it.
And boy, howdy.
I got a friend to call from him saying he caught the biggest fish of his whole life,
but he ain't come around to show me.
Was it at night that he was fishing?
Well, I don't know, but he didn't call me during the night, so I'd have to probably
assume it was during the daytime.
Okay.
Well...
Well, saddle up here, y'all.
What y'all need?
You need your fishing poles, you need some worms, some tackles, some hooks, some lines,
some...
What do you got going on?
Well...
I have earplugs.
Earplugs?
For fishing?
Yeah, I know it's not...
Now, when you're out there in the fishing world, boy, howdy.
You just want to take it all in.
And hearing is part of the experience.
You gotta hear the water and hear the fish flopping around and hear the diving of the
birds and the calling of the eagles.
I think Maxwell had a question for you.
Yeah, we were pretty good on the gear.
We mainly just needed to know where his spot was because he told us to come here for anything
and then we'd meet him at his spot.
Well, howdy, I can't imagine Jim Mortenson asking you to go fishing with him.
He leaves at like three o'clock in the morning, so you're quite a bit late.
He's down at the Lake Mose Mondays.
Oh, okay.
And then most days after that, too, you know, that zoning board pays pretty well.
John boy should get on a zoning board.
But they only meet once every other week.
Politics is funny. Them boys make more money.
Oh, that doesn't make sense.
That's the thing about politicking.
It don't make much good sense.
Huh. Anyway, thank you for your help.
Well, can I sell you some rods and reels, maybe even just some worms or some live baits or
maybe some treble hooks or some, you know, some plastic worms or some barbars or something?
I'll take some worms.
All right.
Maybe, yeah.
Some regular worms or some plastic ones?
I don't want the plastic ones.
All right.
So the regular ones.
All right. Here's two buckets of worms that'll cost you five bucks.
How big are these buckets?
They're not bucket size.
This is what John boy calls a little container.
They're mini buckets.
Sure. You can have my $5.
All right, then.
Should we get a fishing pole and some hooks?
Oh, are we actually going to fish?
Well, maybe we can catch some.
I was going to use the worms for the dinos.
Oh, okay. I thought you were going to try to catch some mermaids.
What's y'all going on about dinos and mermaids over there?
There ain't none of that out there.
You just got to go out there and catch yourself some fish.
Maybe some bass, a large mouth, a small mouth, maybe some rock bass in the creek back there.
Yeah.
You know, chain pickerel.
We got some nice little.
See, it also looks like she has a question. Not really.
Oh, all right. Well, all right then.
Okay. Thank you.
You can add. Do you need to know any more information about fishing?
No, we got the worms. We're good.
Well, all right then. You're John boy to it, I guess.
Okay. Bye.
Hey, if you all come back, mind bringing me a sandwich and one of them brain juices?
Oh, sorry.
I heard they are the lickety split.
You should not drink those, sir.
Well, John boy be the author of zone fate there, children.
I'm just saying there was a riot that broke out because of the addicts.
If I stop and get one, I'll get one for you too.
Well, thank you. That's all I want. Plus, plus.
Plus a veggie poet sandwich from down the shop. All right.
All right.
That's the gross kind with all the vegetables.
Well, what's some call gross others called poetry in your mouth.
Interesting. Weird. Bye.
All right. Boy, bye now.
See you later, mister.
All right.
Thanks for the worms.
Yeah. Anytime you come back and get more when you throw all them in the water.
Yep.
Absolutely.
All right.
And then we leave.
Okay.
Where's the leg?
Wait is further down. This stream is not pictured on this map or any map that we've created for
Kleinville. It's a good distance away, conceivably further than the three of you could travel
without some sort of motorized transportation.
So we could steal like a go-kart or we could hitchhike.
Oh, no, I don't want to hitchhike. That's so scary.
No, we won't. We won't do that. I think we should just wait till Tuesday night when he's
at the zoning board because we can walk to the town hall.
So we should deal with the dinosaurs then?
Yeah.
Okay. Sounds good to me.
Yeah. I don't know what else to do for the house today.
Oh, I kind of forgot about the house. We should probably meet-
That's what we're doing here.
Why did you think we wanted to see Jim?
I think about the dinosaurs or something.
No, the house that's haunted. He is the head of the zoning committee.
Oh, I was thinking about that guy who was sick in bed.
No, that was the doctor's husband.
He was doing something, Diane. I don't know.
He's in a coma.
Yes.
Yeah, I got confused. I didn't start that conversation in character. I was just going
to do a quick talk and then you guys went in character and I was like,
I'm just going to try to keep up here. And I had no idea what we were talking about.
All right. So you want to wait for him?
Yeah. I don't think we're going to drive to the lake or hitch a ride.
Okay. So we're going potentially back to Pickle.
Yeah. To look for dinos, I guess.
Or did we want to meet the lady?
That's probably time to meet her.
Or we could just tell her we're at Pickle Park because we have the walkie talkie.
Yeah. I mean, she was going to go there because we said the person with the changer was there.
Yeah.
But we don't actually know that.
We don't know that at all.
Let's look for some dinosaurs and then we'll radio the lady if we find them.
We could also try to set up some sort of trap to catch the merpeople.
True.
Spend the next amount of time.
That's true. Yeah. Cause then by time nightfall comes, we can have a plan for them.
Right. Because some supplies from the store, sell some actually sell some cookies.
Yeah.
Maybe try to.
Yeah. So maybe we'll spend the rest of the day doing that. Selling cookies and buying traps.
Well, I already have the worms. So that's the bait.
Do you think merpeople like worms?
I mean, they're fish. Kind of.
They've been eating people.
True. But this is two buckets of worms.
That's true.
We should bring pork because it tastes most like human.
Okay. But we also need like what? Like a net or something?
Like a net or something to like catch them.
That's why I said we should get a fishing pole.
Oh no, that's terrible.
That's not a net.
We just catch them like fish.
Oh man.
With a single hook, you're going to try to pull this like huge creature out of the water.
I never saw them. I don't know how big they are.
That's true.
We have no plan really.
Hey, let's go make some money by selling some cookies.
Okay. That sounds good.
Might as well get something out of this day.
Yeah. We'll sell cookies to everywhere on the way to the Wally world.
Wasmo world.
Isn't that where we're going? That's what we just said, right?
Yes.
Okay. So everybody make a...
Let's do four hours of cookie sales.
Everybody make a charm test of...
I believe it's five for regular cookie sales.
I got a four and a five.
Okay. Nice.
A five.
Nice.
Two threes and a two.
Okay. So Bonnie and Vivian, the two of you are able to sell a box of cookies each.
For five dollars?
Yep.
Cool.
All right. Making your way to the Wasmo world.
It's like getting pretty scary as fights continue to break out all around town.
Not everybody's fighting, but there are fights almost everywhere you go,
including the Wasmo world Emporium.
But you're in there and they have quite a few goods on their shelves.
As nobody is paying attention to shopping, they're mostly paying attention to fighting each other.
So what do we need for a trap?
Welcome to Wasmo world.
Hello.
Hi.
Hello.
Good to see you again.
You know, I had a great time eating those chocolate cookie blasters.
That's awesome.
Do you think you could come back on Friday?
I'd love to buy some more, but I don't get paid until Friday.
Absolutely.
All right then.
Can I point you children in the right direction?
Yes, we need weapons.
Do you have explosives?
And explosives?
Well, I think you're looking for aisle six.
Sweet. Thank you.
Thank you.
We head there.
What a wholesome conversation.
That man was so nice.
He was really nice.
And helpful.
Yes.
How exciting.
We already have our first pre-order.
We haven't had one of those yet.
That's very exciting, Max.
Yeah.
That's like your...
Oh, sorry.
Go ahead.
It is your first sale.
It's your customer.
You know, we should try to do that more often when people say no.
Just tell them we'll meet them on Friday.
When they get paid.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
We'll come back on payday.
Do you want to get the pepper spray together, Max?
Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great.
I don't have very big pockets, though.
That's okay.
I can hold on to that.
Awesome.
I'm totally getting these firecrackers.
Whoa.
Those are dangerous.
That's going to be cool.
Cool.
It's for the merpeople.
Yeah, we could scare those fish boys right out of here.
That's a great idea.
Or lady people.
Fish people.
Did you want to make a net with this rope?
That's pretty good thinking.
I was going to get a net at the fishing place,
but I realized I just didn't think you'd be able to do that.
I just didn't think you'd be big enough to catch people.
Yeah, probably not.
This rope says it's 50, I don't know what that means.
50, 50 feet?
Is it 50 feet long?
Oh, oh, yeah, that made me make sense.
Nice.
Okay, we can make a pretty good sized net.
Or we could just do like a big hole, like a lasso.
Try to trap them.
We can make snares.
Oh, that's a great idea.
I don't know how to make that, though.
I don't have my snare batch.
Well, it probably tells us in the in the in the blossoms book.
Okay, yeah, that's a good idea.
Way to be innovative.
Do you think they sell nails here?
Oh, that's a great question.
No, like hammer and nails.
Three inch carpenter nails.
Probably in the in the home building spot.
I want to modify my baseball bat.
Oh, I was thinking of all those home.
You wanted to fix the condemned house so they don't knock it down, huh?
That's kind of what I was thinking.
That's a big project, I think.
I think my project's easier.
Yeah.
Oh, maybe we could tell the committee we want to make a project of the house.
Oh, make it safe.
Maybe the community could help rebuild it.
Well, I don't know if we should invite people into it.
We could invite people into it, though.
Yeah, they're gonna mess with the seals and then all those ghosts would be let out or whatever.
I kind of forgot all that was visible.
Yeah, maybe just children see it.
I don't know.
I don't know how ghosts work.
Anyway, you want to go have these on this rope, everybody?
You mean three waysies?
Whatever.
That's $20 for each of us.
Oh, I got $20.
Oh, total.
Oh, you have $20?
And I'll have more on Friday.
Okay, that makes sense.
So you're gonna pay for the rope?
I'll hold on to it.
Okay, after you guys have bought those items, how much money does every...
It is...
Do each of you have?
I...
Sorry.
I have $40.
I'm down to $65.
$65.
Maxwell and Vivian, both of you, make a charm roll.
That's a two.
Three, four, five.
Okay.
Vivian, as you're saying that, and you're all looking at the different things that are
presented to you in this store, out of the corner of your eye, you all of a sudden catch
a glimpse of someone that's peering down the aisle, and he leans in, and he's a Wasmo World employee,
and he goes, oh, children.
Did you know that Ruby Red Rifle pellet guns are on sale this week?
Oh.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Tell me more.
Yes.
And for the low, low price of $70, you can get yourself one of these beautiful Ruby Red
Rifle pellet guns.
It even comes with a box of pellets.
Oh, I must have misheard you.
I thought you said they were on sale.
They are on sale.
$70 seems awful steep.
Well, imagine what it must be priced usually when it's not on sale.
What is it priced usually?
Much more than $70.
Take my word for it.
I'm a salesman.
But $70 is a lot of money anyway.
Sounds like you must not have $70.
It sounds like you don't have $70 if you're working here.
Oh, I have plenty of money.
It doesn't seem that way.
I work here for fun and community.
Why are you being so weird?
I have to be honest.
I've never actually had someone try to give me a sales item here.
Yeah.
Well, you haven't come to aisle six.
I'm the official aisle six sales person.
Anyways, I was talking to you, miss.
You look like not one of like these children here, but one who embraces adventure and is daring.
You're picking the wrong tree, bud.
I don't understand that reference.
You'll find out.
If we could barter, maybe we can make a deal.
Well, what do you have in mind?
Uh, $65.
All right.
Let's head up to the register.
We'll get you rung out right now.
Awesome.
I want to lean into Max and be like, I don't think she should buy this from this man.
And he escorts you to the closest register, which is not far away,
has you exchange the money.
You are the owner of a beautiful new ruby red rifle pellet gun.
This guy's freaking me out.
He's just a sales guy.
Okay.
Bonnie imagines punching this guy and running away.
Okay.
And as you imagine that he hands the rifle in the box with a box of pellets to Vivian.
Perfect.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Have a great day.
I don't like this.
I'm watching you, buddy.
He wanes to his other friend.
That's how you get commission right there.
He's undersold it.
He's sold it for cheaper than what it was on sale.
Bonnie, do you think that you should tell your parents about what just happened?
Cause I feel like we should tell some adult.
That a man is pushing guns on children.
I don't know.
The whole situation was weird.
You seemed uncomfortable too.
I didn't like any of that.
Yeah.
We should definitely say something, but I guess bigger fish to fry right now.
Let me use this good for fish man.
Yes, literally.
Anyway, let's go to the water.
As you guys exit the Wasmo world Emporium, looking down, you see a large shadow pass
over top of the three of you.
And when you look up, you see a pterodactyl making its way across town.
The same way as us?
It is headed towards the Shady Acres trailer park nearby.
I'm going to buzz on my walkie to Margaret.
Uh, Margaret, over.
No response.
This is the human beings over.
Yes, I am a human being too children.
I'm in a little bit of a situation right now.
What's the sitch?
The sitch is I'm being attacked by a lot of people by this juice bar where the three of
you said you were earlier.
Oh, grab me a juice.
Well, there's a pterodactyl over town now.
Follow it.
Go follow it.
Okay.
Tell me where you find it.
I'll meet you there.
Okay.
It's by the trailer park now.
Okay.
Head towards it.
Okay.
I'll be right behind.
Okay.
I guess the fish people will wait and we will go to the pterodactyl.
I think it's a pressing matter.
Okay.
You have a gun.
We can shoot it out of the sky at some point if we need to.
And then we can spray it with pepper spray.
Yeah.
Throw firecrackers at it.
This is great.
Tie it up with the rope.
Well, some of this has to be used for the merman.
Yeah, I know.
I'm just getting excited.
Well, we could always sell more cookies if we had to and then we can come back that way.
That's true.
I wonder if we could skip school again tomorrow.
This is fun.
I love skipping school.
I mean, there's a riot in town and dinosaurs.
This is not like a normal day.
Seems like there's no rules.
Perched upon one of the trailers, you see this large pterodactyl looming.
There's nobody else in the trailer park at the moment.
All the cars are gone.
Everybody's at work.
It's a Monday and this pterodactyl is just on top of one of these trailers making a screeching
pterodactyly noise.
The three of you can see very easily that it has spotted you and it launches itself
off the trailer swooping down low right over your heads before spinning in the air and
coming right back towards you.
Margaret, we have made contact with the pterodactyl at the trailer park.
Over.
Well, now she knows, guys.
Before you get a response, the episode ends.
Oh, let's see if anybody got any badges for your brave deeds.
Vivian, you are going to take a researcher badge.
Okay.
Actually, because you succeeded on a skill test to perform research on a subject related
to a mystery and we're going to give you that for finding the seals upstairs.
Cool.
Very cool.
And this one might be a stretch, but I'm going to give it to Maxwell, the negotiator badge
for successfully talking your way out of a scrap.
Nice.
Although that doesn't super apply.
You did get you guys out of the initial scrap with the dinosaurs by locking them in that
dumpster.
Successfully exiting a scrap.
There you go.
And you're going to take a plus one die to charm tests made to talk your way out of a
scrap.
Nice.
And then do you think it's okay to just add it into the just say no badge because that's
also to charm when resolving a scrap.
Kind of the same thing.
Yeah, same thing.
I would stack them for sure.
Bonnie, apologies.
No badges for you this time.
It's okay.
But that's going to wrap it up.
So guys.
See you next Tuesday.
You're so sloppy.
Yeah, I totally did that.
Good job.
Good job, guys.
The Tales from the Crit podcast is recorded in the Wolfbeard Game Studio in upstate New
York.
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Tales from the Crit.
Oh, man.
Brad Pitt died.
Because it's Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Anyone see that movie?
Yeah.