Welcome to the Tales from the Crypt podcast. We are an actual play podcast featuring a
revolving cast of players making our way through micro RPGs, highly narrative tabletop games,
and the more popular and less known RPG systems from a wide variety of genres. Content may
not be suitable for children and content warnings can be found in the description. I'm Riley
Groves and I'll be your host, your guide, your GM on this episode of Tales from the Crypt.
Previously on Tales from the Crypt. So as you're eating pizza here at Bonnie's house,
you guys can hear commercial for the Brain Freeze Juice Bar comes on and it's like,
get your brain juice now. Guaranteed to make you smarter, stronger, brighter, and better.
Breaking news, over the skies of Kleinville, two shooting stars hurling coming ever closer
to our town. Hey Louise. Hey Dougie Doug. Listen, we got a bit of a situation. You know
Samantha from across the road. Yeah, of course I know Samantha. Well, she never came home
last night. What? Woman that you see gets a little bit more clear and she's like got
super long dark hair, very pale skin. She's wearing an off-colored white gown and in a
flash she rushes towards the window that you guys are down below and then stays there for
a moment. She mouths something and then disappears. Uh, guys, I think that was a ghost. You brandish
your knife. You hold it out, like you said, with both hands in front of you and she takes
two steps forward and she swats your hand down, knocking the knife out of it and comes
across with a monster right hook, nailing you right in the face and the lights go out
for old Maxwell.
Welcome back to Tales from the Crit. We are continuing our playthrough of BadgeQuest and
back at the table I have Rebecca. Hello. Tim. Hello there. And Anna. Hi again. Playing
Bonnie, Maxwell, and Vivian. Before we jump back into the episode, let's grab a question
from our pod deck interview deck to get to know each other a little bit better. Today's
question is, which band or artist, dead or alive, would you have play at your funeral?
Okay, I want to go first. Okay. I've thought about this before. Okay. Um, My Chemical Romance
would play Helena and you'd have to rent a ballerina to do the thing down the aisle.
Very specific and cinematic. Thank you. I also liked Norman Greenbaum doing Spirit in
the Sky would be pretty cool. I don't know if he's alive or dead, but doesn't matter.
Either way, it works. He'll be there. Okay. Maybe he'll be playing it as a spirit in the
sky. Cool. I went with the band Emery. Okay. Any specific song? Just their whole catalog.
Oh, they just got to like start from the beginning and work their way up. Nice. They can stop
any time after this second. Right on. So is your funeral also a concert? Well, yeah, I
thought that was the whole, that was the first thing I thought. I was like, sweet, we never
get this band on the East coast. What an easy way to do it. With my death. Awesome. Anna.
So, I chose Cage the Elephant. Okay. And they can play Ain't No Rest for the Wicked. Good
choice. Nice. Leonard Skinner would play Freebird at mine, extending my funeral procession to
like an extremely long amount of time. And hopefully Johnny Cash would make an appearance
and just like somehow slip in there and do some vocals with them. Nice. Yes. How do you
always like pick more than one thing? So I really reined it in on this one because like
I've got some other people that I was going to introduce to the scenario, but I decided,
you know, to keep it realistic. I also wanted to do Creedence Clearwater Revival. Oh yeah,
a little CCR. That'd be pretty great. They got some good songs. Have you ever seen The
Rain? Great funeral song, I guess. I feel like you all put a whole different way of
thought into this. Like I did not think about what other people would enjoy. Oh, I don't
think mine wasn't really enjoyment. I guess like I'm not going to be there. So I guess
it wouldn't matter who actually plays. I like to think you get to watch your funeral. Whatever
happens after you get to sit in and watch. You deserved it. Yeah, I mean, I've earned
this. I want to see how many people go. Who's going to cry? I hope I don't care at that
point. Who's going to fake cry? Who's going to show up for the food? Well, now that we've
talked about our own deaths, maybe we'll have some character deaths. No, no, not in Badge
Quest, not with these tiny little kids. I mean, what could possibly cause them harm?
Except all the things that are inclined. All the things in Kleinville cause them harm.
So let's find out what some of those things in Kleinville that are causing them harm are.
And we're going to pick up with Maxwell face down in the dirt, unconscious. So I guess
we'll actually start with Bonnie and Vivian running through the woods, presumably going
to find Maxwell who ran off ahead of you. Bonnie, I think we should find Max really
soon. He sounds like he's in trouble. Okay, so get our flashlight sounds. Oh no, it's
not that dark. It's daytime still, I think, right? Like early evening. Yeah, right around
five o'clock, maybe five thirty. Well, let's run over there. Okay. And we run. Okay. So
you guys take off into the woods. It's not really not hard to find Maxwell because he
didn't make it that far between when the raccoon jumped out of the bush and you guys attacked
it and all that good stuff. So it doesn't take long to find Maxwell and you find him
and he's unconscious, laying on the ground. Is the girl still there? He is by himself.
The girl left. Yeah, I mean, yes, she's not there, but Vivian may not really know that
she was a girl. Well, I'm just saying if like I can I was going to take out my sling and
be like, hey, bitch. Oh, yeah. No, he's by himself at this point. Okay. I have my first
aid badge. Okay. And what does that do for you? I automatically pass first aid checks.
So I'm going to try to wake him up with like a smelling salt. Okay. That is a wild first
aid kit to have a smelling salt. I have a first. Well, yeah, I don't know. That's fine.
So you automatically pass that and you're able to rock some consciousness back into
Maxwell. Maxwell, are you okay? Oh my god. Oh, I just had this crazy dream that there
was something like sulfur and I was in hell. It smelled so bad. I just immediately woke
up. I had to get out. Oh, it's still here. It's still it's just this. It's not sulfur.
Oh, that's all right. That was a bad dream anyway. What happened to you? You didn't pass
out from the raccoon, right? No, this big girl came out of the bushes and hit me. Bernie,
Bernie's. I bet I bet Bonnie and Vivian would know Bernie know of Bernie's at least. Right?
Yeah. You meant you guys made no Bernie's. I told her I was a killer and I was going
to murder her and she didn't believe me and I could see why. Yeah. She's quite a bit bigger
than you. Huh? She's bigger than everyone. Yeah. I was pretty honest that I've never
actually used a knife either. That probably didn't help. Oh, that. Yeah. You shouldn't
have told her that. Keep that out next time. I will. As you guys are discussing this from
back in the woods where Bernie's had come from when you encountered her, Maxwell, you
hear a very loud rustling and like sticks begin to snap and there's like a lot of very
disturbing noise coming from that immediate direction. I jumped so that I am behind the
two of them and that's exactly where she came from. It was right in there. She's probably
coming back. Maybe she's got more from her troop. Oh God, what should we do? You want
to fight them or run away Viv? Well, there's plenty of rocks around here and I got old
slang. Yeah, I'm kind of done with this. I'm going to find the biggest stick I can. It's
time to end this. Oh gosh. Okay. I'm behind you guys. There's only one group of three
human beings that could sell cookies and that's us and us alone. Yep. And you can't punch
out the competition. Plus it'd be kind of cool if I actually became the Pickle Park
murderer. I mean, just in theory. Oh my God. I thought that was just a threat. Well, it
was until right now. Okay. The rustling gets closer and closer and louder and suddenly
from the bushes in front of you guys, I'm assuming you're all three are like huddled together
ready. You have a giant stick. Maxwell, Vivian's got her slang pulled back. I just have a big
rock I'm going to throw. Okay. From the bushes jumps a fully grown Dionysus, which is like
a velociraptor type dinosaur. Jesus Christ. What the fuck is that? Holy shit. Holy shit.
Holy shit. Holy shit. I don't know what to do about this. I want to kill shit. We got
to go. I'm not fighting this. We turn and run immediately. Before you get the chance,
somebody else busts from the bushes near the dinosaur and it is a fully grown woman and
her clothes looks like futuristic. She's got like plasticky looking armor. She's got lights
glowing from her long brown hair and she runs and tussles with the dinosaur and as she does,
she yells, run, I'll find you later. And her and the dinosaur go tumbling into the
bushes. I don't want her to find us. Fucking keep running guys. Definitely keep running.
Oh my God. Okay. And you guys run? We run. We've run very far. Okay. Where do you run?
Further into the park or? No, probably back out the way we were. Back this way. Okay.
Right this way we came in. So you guys, yeah, you're right here. So you can run back out
of the park. Here's a rock crossing in the creek as well. I drew there, but. No, we're
going to go where there's people around. Yeah. I agree. Okay. So you guys bust out of the
park. What just happened? I don't know. I have a lot of mixed feelings on this. That
was a dinosaur. We just saw a dinosaur and an alien future lady fighting a dinosaur.
That was really weird. I don't, I'm going to stop. I don't know, man. Was it this juice?
You guys didn't drink the juice and you saw that. Did you spill any on me? No, I don't
think so. I dropped them when the raccoon thing happened. Yeah. Other drops. I feel
like I should start checking for drops. Maybe we're all infected with the juice. I don't
think it's that. Maybe they came in the things in the sky. Oh my God. Aliens are definitely
here. Sky-nas-ors. Oh my God. Great name. I've heard about these. You have? Yeah. On
some documentaries. Oh yeah. Dinosaurs may be from a parallel universe. Maybe it slipped
into our dimension. Oh my God. I can't even comprehend this. But it really doesn't explain
the weird lady. Especially how she seemed to know us and said I'll find you later. That
was a little disconcerting. I don't want her to find us either. No. Where should we go
that she won't? A clubhouse. Clubhouse. The mafia? Oh, or Max's house. Maybe we should
use some of our cookie money and pay for protection. Oh, that's a good idea. The police don't seem
to want to help us. They're all angry with us because we don't know enough about the
girl who got lost. And then, I don't know, none of the adults seem to. So maybe this
is a time where we actually have to take advantage of capitalism and make it work for us. Okay.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I don't know how to find the mafia. It's just kind
of known that they're around. Do you think they're going to do business with a bunch
of kids though? I don't know. Money talks, I think. That's true. I've heard that. If
we express it strictly for business, I think it would be in our favor. No one's going to
believe that we saw a dinosaur. Well, no. But we could at least see how much, well,
I have like $30. We might have $100. That might protect us for a day. I have $65. Oh,
we have maybe two days. Like an hour. This is the mob we're talking about. But it's
a small town mob. Maybe they have discounts on community members. I will say I don't want
to spend all of my money because I also still want to win the cookie selling contest. That's
a good point. Our lives are cookies. Usually cookies, right? Yeah. I have started to change
my mind on that since I've learned this business. Oh. Well, maybe you're not cut out for cookie
sales, Max. Oh, I just meant that it does seem that cookies are most important. Oh,
oh, I took that the wrong way. Anyway, yes, let's head to the junkyard, I guess. Bob's
junk and stuff. We should look at that haunted house again when we pass. Oh, God, that was
scary. Maybe it was some sort of those Hollywood tricks with a screen projector or something
and the mafia really is inside, but they don't want anyone to get inside. So they have a
projection of a scary ghost lady. Yeah, like in Home Alone, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe someone's in there pulling strings. We should watch Home Alone later. I agree.
Okay. To cleanse the palate. Yeah. Nothing like a Christmas movie. We should get some
milk for some cookies when we watch. Definitely. Bonnie, is that this moment that you begin
to develop a splitting headache? Wow, my head hurts. Bonnie, what's wrong? I don't know.
My head just hurts real bad. Brain juice. And it causes you to get quite a bit more
irritable, even with your friends. So for the next 24 hours, you are going to take a
penalty to charm tests. They're going to be one harder. Okay. Okay. Is it still like plus
four to everything though? No, that's worn off too. So. Oh, no. That only lasted for
one hour. See, Bonnie, you shouldn't have drank that. Yeah, whatever, Viv. Easy for
you to say. You should put a cold compress on your head. That can help headaches. Do
you have one? Doesn't seem like you have one. The stream's right there. Bonnie, you
have the first aid kit. Oh, that's true. Fine. I'll take some pills. I hate taking pills.
I'll take a Tylenol. Okay. Just one though. Okay. You're still going to be irritable.
Your headache does subside a little bit. That's a little better. So where do you guys go?
Well, I still have that crumpled piece of paper that I got from the raccoon. We didn't
look at that yet. Why don't we head to see that doctor that we found on that bill and
then we can swing on over to the junkyard and see if we can find the mafia. What about
the doctor? She lives on our street. The doctor's the one on that weird paper that we got out
of the raccoon's mouth from that dumpster. The dumpster behind the juice place with the
juice that made you feel really good until it made you feel bad, which is kind of the
definition of how drugs work. And then she is a doctor. So maybe it is some sort of drug.
I thought Anna said she never looked at that paper. No, the address I think we saw in the
dumpster, you were looking at garbage in the dumpster and we saw the doctor's address and
we wanted the clump of paper because we thought it was important, but we haven't actually
looked at it yet. Oh, okay. That was confusing. Uh, Vivian, what's, what's that in your hand?
Oh my God. I totally forgot about this with the dinosaur. Let's look at it.
Okay. You guys open it up and it is medical test results for Mr. Ryder, Mr. Rob Ryder,
who you guys might know as Joyce Ryder's husband. And it's a lot of medical stuff and test results
that you guys don't quite understand, but at the end, um, it does, uh, have a recommendation
that he continues his recovery at home and possibly seeks the care of hospice through
his final days. Yeah, Max, maybe you're right. Maybe we should go see the doctor. This is
weird. Where'd you find this? In the dumpster behind the juice place, which doesn't seem
like the place you would find medical test results. No, yeah, that's super weird. And
the doctor office isn't anywhere near that juice place. Hmm. Well, let's go talk to her
and see what this is. At least, you know, at minimal we'd be doing our duty as scouts
to make sure that she's okay. Cause this seems kind of sad. And that other people don't read
this medical information. Very true. We'll make sure it's back into the responsible hands
of an adult. And a doctor no less. And the patient too. Okay. So where are you guys headed?
It seems like a breach of confidentiality. To the doctor's house. Can you be your house,
your spouse's medical physician? Probably not. A conflict of interest if anything. Yeah.
Okay. So you guys are going to go down to Joyce Ryder's house, doctor Ryder's house?
Yeah. Which is like across the street from Vivian and Bonnie's house. Okay. Yeah. You
guys head towards your home. I mean, it's like probably around six o'clock by the time
you get there. So it is getting to be evening. Let's, let's start with the guys who've selling
cookies and maybe sell some cookies and then talk about the medical stuff. Well, I was
going to say we could use your headache to be like, Oh, you need help. We'll get inside
and then maybe we can sneak around. Yeah, that is a good idea. Let's go in and we knock
on the door. Uh, you knock and it takes a little while for somebody to come down and
answer the door. It is definitely not doctor Ryder who or her husband who answers the door.
A middle aged man opens and hello. Hi, you're not the doctor. My head is hurting. Can I
talk to the doctor lady? Oh, doctor Ryder's is not in right now. She, I believe she's
at work today. Oh, who are you? I am Mr. Ryder's hospice nurse. Oh, can we see him? No, definitely
not. Do you want some cookies? I am confused by your question. We're Brave Blossoms and
we sell cookies. Oh, uh, I am not in any position to buy cookies at the moment. I don't believe
I have any cash or my wallet on me. Oh, the doctor could cover you. I'm not entirely
sure. I'm going to the doctor and then she can reimburse you for them. You know, perhaps
it would be better if you guys, it seems like you might know her. You know, she's a doctor.
Seems like you guys might be better off coming back when she's home. Seems like you'd be
better off coming back when she's not home. Okay. That's going to get you far with selling
cookies. I'm sure. My head really hurts. I just really want help. Perhaps your own mother
or father. Are you like a doctor? No, I can't. You're a doctor, right? If you're taking
care of the guy, you know, medicine. I do. I would suggest you go talk to your parents
and find out what they want you to do. We came here though. Okay. And you're going to
leave here next. No, I would like to go talk to Mr. Ryder and I'm going to roll a charm.
Okay. That's a six for you. Two is I roll with two dice, right? Nope. Yeah. You're not
going to talk to Mr. Ryder. In fact, there is no talking to Mr. Ryder. Did you kill him?
No, Mr. Ryder is in a medically induced coma. Why? I am not the one that should be discussing
this with you. I apologize. You'll have to come back when Dr. Ryder is here. Why can't
you tell us? Because it's none of your business. We're pretty much adults, mister. You can
be frank with us. We totally understand medicine. You know, I almost died last week. You all
sound like a tremendously strange bit of children. I can say for the large boy, you should put
maybe a frozen bag of corn on your eye. It looks quite swollen. Why? For you. Why didn't
you guys tell me my eye's swollen? Well, it looks really cool. Little child who almost
died. Glad you didn't. Well, I'm a mortal now, so it's fine. Okay. This is getting weirder
and weirder. Sir, I'm going to need a steak. Pronto, please. A cold one from the fridge.
Once again, this is not my house, so I'm just going to back up and close the- Please, you've
done only half the diagnosis. Clunk. What about me? And you hear like several locks
lock on the door. Why would he say something like that and then leave? Oh, he was not a
good doctor. No, not at all. No bedside manner. I guess that's why I can't see so much in
the one eye. Yeah, your one eye's really swollen. I just thought it was tired. We need an actual
doctor. Want a Tylenol? No, I'm fine. It doesn't really hurt that bad. Well, just ignore it.
It'll be fine then. Right? I'm sure. If it doesn't hurt, it's okay. Why don't we go peek
through the windows and make sure he was telling the truth? That was really weird how he just
left us and locked every single one of the locks on the front door. Yeah, let's peek
in the back window and then we'll cross the creek to get on with the mafia haunted house
situation. Yeah, we just need to make sure Mr. Rider's okay. Yeah. Because that guy was
strange. I think so too. Well, Max, you're the tallest. You could probably look in the
windows. Yeah, apparently I'm large. I don't understand why he had to say that. That was
a weird way to put whatever that was. I think length, not width. I don't know. Physical
descriptions was a weird way to make conversation as an adult. He could have just said young
sir. Anyway, I'm going to look through that window. We got to catch this strange man in
the act of whatever this horrible deception is. Okay. And so you scoot around the back
and try to peek in a window, huh? You don't really know what window is what because you've
never been to the Rider's house. However, you do manage to find a bedroom in the back
corner and upon peering through the window, you see the man that you just converse to
you. Lightly dabbing Mr. Rider's forehead while he weighs motionless in a bed. And he's
dabbing it with like a washcloth or a sponge or guys. He's trying to chloroform them. We
got to break into this house. No, what? He's killing him. I think we should go and move
on from this. And he begins to wash like Mr. Rider's arms and upper body. I don't think
we want to see this part. Yeah. I don't think that's how you apply chloroform. Anyway, you
want to cross the creek? Yeah, this is getting a little weird. We should just tell him to
tell his wife because there's a stranger in her house. He can't tell her anything. Look
at him. He looks like he's not doing so good. He's sleeping really, really hard. Yeah, it
looks like a peaceful sleep. Yes, it does. Let's go cross the creek or stop somewhere
and get flashlights or something. Yeah. Okay. Onwards. Yes. So we're going to the junkyard.
Yeah. What time of year is it again? What time does it get dark? March. March. Yeah.
Getting later into March. So it's a couple of weeks then. Okay. Yeah. Let's go to the
haunted house and swing by the clubhouse and get flashlights. We don't have to do all that
for it. Didn't we have a bunch of flashlights for when you got them, when we went across
the stream? Yeah, but that was a week ago. Or like two nights ago or something. Yeah.
It was literally, we have made it about 12 hours since when you guys got arrested. It
is the same freaking day. Yeah. I just assumed that we would still have them on us. Yeah,
we have not made it very far. You guys have gotten four hours of cookie sales in. As we
cross the creek, I would like to look with my flashlight into the creek to see the big
fish. Okay. You do not see the big fish. Okay. Although it is starting to get dark. It is
not dark yet. And you guys cross your makeshift bridge? Okay. And I guess the street lights
would probably start flickering on. So we can just walk right down the street to a certain
point. You guys cross the bridge where you hit the street. Where are you going to look
first? Going to start walking down to 1212 Drunk's, Drunk. 1212 Junk Street. And okay,
so last time it was the three of us that all went up to the front door. Maybe this time
someone like one person should go to the front door and one person should like watch their
side window. And maybe one person watches the back door and we can try to see these
special effects that the mob is using to hide the fact that they are in this house and using
it as a headquarters. Dibs on not going to the back door by myself. Well, you could probably
stand off of the back door. I think they'll know I'll do the window. I don't want to go
to the back door. Nope. This house is scary as I don't like to swear. I did it that dinosaur,
but that was scary. So so is a haunted house. Well, I'm trying to save my F words for when
they're important. Well, I could use my slingshot to knock out the door from afar. Good idea.
All right. And then I guess that leaves me with the window, the back door window. Oh,
right. The back door. Yeah. I'm gonna go kind of hiding the bushes off back there and look,
see it's scary. Isn't it scary to have that you have to go back there. I'm just gonna
hide behind that bush. I see. I think I see it's a little dark. We'll see what happens
when I get there. Okay. You got your walkie talkie, right? Yes. Channel 6.9. Yep. I got
that to you. All right. Make sure to keep your flashlight pointed right at the ground
so they see as minimal light as possible. One, two, three, human beings. Human beings.
Okay. And you guys surround this creepy house. Everybody make a general toughness roll for
me. A two. A one, three and a four. I got two ones and a two. That is not very good.
No. Okay. Vivian, did you go up to the door or did you shoot your slingshot? No, I'm gonna
shoot my slingshot at it from afar. Okay. Well then on a four, we'll call that a success.
So you're the one, you shoot your slingshot and it makes the loudest noise as you miss
the door and kind of smash through one of the windows. Okay. And upon doing so, breaking
one of the panes, you see that same ghostly apparition that you guys had all saw the last
time you were at this house a few hours ago, actually, come to the door. And this time
with the window broken, she mouths something once again, but you're able to make it out
and she says, protect the seals. And then she disappears into the house. The seals?
Like an aquatic animal seal? You can probably deduce that she doesn't mean the aquatic animal
seals. Oh, I was immediately staring at that map. I was like, are we near the fucking ocean?
I also thought real seals. I was like- Is there an aquarium? She was an activist ghost.
She just really cares about the seals. Save the wildlife. They're endangered. Save the
seals. Save the world. Yeah, she does not mean real seals, probably. Most likely she
doesn't, but I guess we can't know for sure. She means loose seals. Yes, loose seals. They're
all hiding at the ball. Oh my God. Sorry. What have I done? Okay. So I guess I'll call
over my walkie because the other guys wouldn't have heard that. Definitely not. Hey guys,
I just saw that ghost and she said something. Vivian, I'm not even at the window yet. Okay,
well I still saw it. Oh, okay. I'll come back, I guess. You guys have to pause between talking.
I only caught short clips and then don't forget to say over, over. Over. Over. Yeah, that
works. Over. Hey, wait, what was the plan? Over. Come to the door. Over. We all go to
the door. I go to the door. Yeah, I'm going to make my way around to the front door, a
nice wide traversment, keeping at least 10 feet between the side of that house and myself.
Okay. And you all meet at the front door. Do you meet where Vivian was or have you walked
up to the front door? No, I probably waited for them to meet me and we'll all go up together.
Okay. Vivian, what's up? So I saw the ghost lady again. Oh. And she said something. She
said, protect the seals. And at first I thought, what seals? Like the animals? Yeah, like flipping
paper. Oh, there's no zoo here. No. Okay. So she has to mean something else. Like a canning
jar seal? Like the doors are sealed? The door is not sealed. There's broken windows. That's
a window. Well, that's true. Duh. Well, if the doors are closed, that would mean that
they are sealed. So maybe we have to make sure no one opens the doors. Why would she
tell me? I just tried to break her window. Maybe if we go inside, there's more answers.
She said, don't worry about the windows. Protect the doors. So do we go in? I guess. I don't
want to do this. Do we see her through the broken window? You do not see the ghostly
lady any longer. Well, I guess we got to kind of chase her down and ask for more information
on what the seals are. Vivian, should you try to hit the door again? Maybe she'll come
back. Okay. It's like a mafia button. I'll put two rocks in my slings. It'll make it
easier to shoot the door two more times and it slowly creaks open. Well, it definitely
wasn't sealed. So it can't be the door. I think that's an invitation to go in. All
right. I'll follow you guys. Avoid stepping on the doormat. Sometimes that's where trapped
doors are. I saw it in a movie once. Good idea. Can I stay in the middle? I'm so scared.
I'm going to put more rocks in my pockets. Okay. Good idea. Should I put that in one
of my item slots? Rocks. You know, you're kidding. You can hold rocks and you guys make
your way up the front porch and to the door and you go in. Presumably. Yeah. Nudge the
door open with my foot. Okay. Yeah. It creaks open the rest of the way wide enough for the
three of you to get in. And so that would mean Maxwell's at the back. Oh, I pictured
we were like Wizard of Oz styling this and just like arms locked. I'm kidding. But it
is how I keep picturing it. I know it's not how it happened, but I'm like, man, that'd
be really funny if we just. Maybe we're trying to do that, but it's a narrow hallway. So
we're like still in front of and behind, but arms are linked. Okay. Even better that your
art guys' arms are linked as you come through here. I'm going to imagine Bonnie's or Vivian's
art link cause she's ready to fling a rock. Right. So it's probably more Maxwell and Bonnie
that have linked up arms. So you guys come through the door kind of together and as soon
as you're through, it slams shut behind you. Okay. Okay. How many seconds are we going
to go before we start yelling? I don't know. What do we do now? What are we doing Vivian?
Hello? Oh God. Okay. Light up as much space with the lights as possible. Don't go in the
same area. Let's see if we see anything. Yeah. Your lights are the only things that are like
making light in here as it continues to get dark outside. Inside this house seems like
extremely dark. Um, and when you call out, hello, Vivian, you hear several fuzz upstairs.
Okay. Um, let's go upstairs then. We should turn our flashlights off so our eyes adjust
to the dark and they don't see us. Well, I want to go up the stairs without tripping.
We'll just go slowly. Okay. And while we're going, try to think of what you want a secret
knock maybe cause we'll probably need to use this as a password to get into the mafia place.
So just try to think of that. Okay. Really I'm just trying to think of anything except
for the fact that we're locked inside of a dark creepy house and there are a lot of password
choices out there. So that's keeping me a little calmer. Yeah. Well you keep thinking
about that, but also stick to the corners and the dark sides of the wall. Okay. All
right. So we're going, uh, we're going to go up the stairs. Yeah, let's go up. Okay.
Vivian, how are you so calm during all this? I, uh, yeah. Well, she kind of looked like
my mom is comforting. Okay. Your mom looks like a ghost. I don't think. Have you seen
her after Zumba class? No. You guys making your way up the stairs. Give me another toughness
check. Uh, we're going to set it at a, let's give it a four. I got a one, a five and a
six. Okay. Got a five. Okay. Six, three and a two. Okay. So the three of you, as you're
making your way up the stairs, see another ghostly figure move in front of the staircase.
Not the same one that was at the front door or that you have seen multiple times, but
a much older timey looking gentleman with a large hat and mustache. And when he turns
to you, his eyes are quite red and he lets out a maniacal laugh before disappearing. Grandpa?
Is this your family's house, Vivian? No, I've never been here, but he looked just like my
grandpa. That's crazy. Are you like haunted forever now, be that you almost died? Cause
like now your family is here and they don't belong here. This wasn't their house. Why
would they haunt it? Those are a lot of ideas that I'm not sure coalesce, but um, yeah,
they're haunted. I don't think so. I'm sorry. I think your eternal life is haunted. All
right. I think it's a hologram and they're just trying to scare us away from finding
out what's in that room up there. We have to, we have to keep going on. It's just like
Disney world. Yep. Except like that scary, scary Disney ride. Probably no sort of OSHA
safety standards. That's probably not a thing at Disney world either. I guess it's just
really up to luck. Well, let's try our luck. I guess each stair that you step on moving
up creeks in a different, more maniacal way than the last. Um, the air begins to smell
quite musty and stale as you move up. Um, everything in this house is kind of degrading and you
know, it's all decorated in old Victorian style, but it's all dusty and, and, and falling
apart. And as you get to the top step, you hear a cat screech in one of the rooms. And
when you get to the top of the landing, there are several different doorways that you can
go through. Well, at least we know something in here is alive aside from us. Yeah. Oh God.
Okay. Are they open doors or two are open? One is closed. Well, let's go to the closed
one. I'm trying to stay, uh, what are they like? Is it like one door on each side and
one in front of us? Are the two, there's open like, so if you come up the stairway, right?
And then there's, there's a wall. There's one at the top of the stairway to the right.
There's one to the left and then there's one on the same side to the left, just like down
the hall of it. Which one's the closed door? The one at the top of the stairs to the right.
Okay. The only door, the cats probably stuck in there. We just gotta let them out. Well,
and if that's where they're hiding, you wouldn't hide behind an open doorway. So it does seem
like that'd be the room that's occupied. They can talk. I'm going to peek into the door
that's open across from the door that's closed. Okay. Make a toughness check of four for me.
No, one, one and a three. Okay. When you go to peek through this door, it's slam shot
in your face causing you to take several steps back. Okay. I guess they hide in the open
doorways too. Everything's terrifying in this stupid place. I hate it so much. Vivian, are
we opening the store or what? Yeah. I want to save the cat. Okay. Do it. I think the
cat just closed the door on Bonnie. No, that was the ghost. Oh, okay. Bonnie's just going
to kind of like drop down into a low fetal position and sort of hide a little in the
dark corners. Okay. Vivian, you open this door. Yeah. It's not locked, right? It's not
locked. No. Give me a toughness check of five. No. Okay. Maxwell, you give me a toughness
check of five as well because you're standing presumably behind Vivian at this point, right?
Yeah. Doing too many toughness checks for my one die. You know what? But you've been
killing it. Two. Okay. So when you guys open this door, the cat comes flying out, right?
In like a panic. It's a black cat and it comes tearing past you and maniacally screaming
the entire way down. And then when it gets to the bottom of the stairs, it just runs
into the wall and disappears. But that is enough to send you guys back down the stairs
from this second story. Oh, the cat was a ghost too. I'm getting less convinced that
these are holograms. Well, a hologram couldn't pass through a wall either. We also didn't
find any seals. I don't know what's happening. Do we want to try to... Was the stomping the
cat too? Was the stomping like cat sounds or was it like... No, it was like, you know,
if somebody runs... People. Yeah. Across the floor above you in a not well insulated hotel.
Okay. Here's my guess. The stomping was also a ghost person. This place is not okay. I
guess that seems reasonable. Max, what do you think? I'm kind of torn between all of
it to be honest. Part of me wants to leave, but part of me wants to figure it out because
otherwise I'll be scared of this building forever and that seems kind of uncool and
I could probably do better than that. Got to face your fears and all, but maybe tomorrow?
You know what? Maybe it's like Scooby Doo and this is just like, you know, there's going
to be a guy in a mask. Okay. Let's just pretend we're like the mystery gang and we should
get a dog. Guys, we should get a dog. Oh, there's one at the junkyard. Oh, not that dog. Oh,
I'm going to pretend the man with the glowing red eyes was Don Knots. Okay. That's a good
idea. He's funny. Very, very non-threatening. Yes. What if I bring my cat to the haunted
house and it befriends the ghost cat? I think your cat's already here. If your mom and grandpa
are. Are you sure that wasn't your cat that just ran through the wall? No, my cat's orange.
Oh, that wasn't orange. Maybe we'll bring him back next time, but do we want to try
the stairs again or see a different door for a seal? Maybe they keep seals in the basement
where there's like a pool or something. A basement would be where you keep special things. That's
where I'd keep a seal if I had one. I mean, if there's like wine and stuff down there,
that has to be sealed. Yeah, that's a seal too. What if it's like a letter that's sealed?
A letter would be in a bedroom. There's no furniture in this house. Where are we going
to find a letter? Maybe one of these rooms has a desk or something. Okay. Maybe each
of one of us charges up to stairs and runs into a different bedroom. Oh, and then we
can look at a bedroom all at the same time and then run the heck out of there together
too. Okay. Yeah. Just keep your radio ready. Okay. I'm ready. Ready? You know, we're pretty
close to each other. We probably don't need a radio. I'm sure we'll be able to hear you.
Yeah, I'll hear you. If I heard the ghost on the stairs, I'll probably hear you talking,
but ghosts probably definitely hear us. Well, the speakers could be anywhere. Anyway, let's
run upstairs on the count of three. Ready? One, two, three. Okay. I thought we were all
going to yell. Sorry. Okay. And you all run up to this, up the stairs to different doors.
There's still one open at this point. Everybody give me a toughness check. Oh, I got two fives
and a three. Four. Two sixes and a three. All right. Sounds like Vivian credits. So
you guys split up into your different doors. Although all of you are not terrified because
nothing really happened. Vivian, you are the one that makes it into your room and can stand
in there the longest. And on the opposite wall is a large glowing sigil. It's glowing
orange. You can't make out anything that it says obviously, but you get the feeling that
maybe this might be a seal. Guys, I think I found the seal. Oh, thank God. I didn't
find anything. I was too scared to look. When I'm looking in that room, is that technically
an observation? I'm asking because I have the detective skill, I guess, where I can
reroll on observations or puzzles. And I didn't know if there was a way that I could reroll
to scan my room for having a weak toughness rule. So you won't need to. There's nothing
else in this room that's like, you know, of any importance. Right on. Guys, come on, check
out the seal. Coming. Yeah, I run in there. Okay. I definitely follow right in. Whoa.
What did she say about this? We have to protect it. Oh, have you tried touching it yet? Um,
I don't think that's protecting it. I have the innate desire to poke it. I think he shouldn't.
I also kind of think we should, but we should definitely not. Like I want to, but that doesn't
sound protective. Vivi, do you have one of those stones? Oh, yeah. Can I see the stone?
Sure. That sounds protective either. I'm just going to gently toss the stone at the thingy
that I just assume is a magical porter portal because it's glowing and it's a round object.
Okay. Yeah. So you throw the stone. I'm immediately thinking Stargate. I'm just like, oh man. You
throw the stone and it hits this portal and it acts exactly like a stone hitting a wall
might and it falls to the ground. Is the portal like in the middle of the room? Nope. It's on the
wall. So it's basically like, Oh, bummer. That was anticlimactic. Yeah. Um, okay. So how do we
protect it? We have other stuff to do. Maybe it needs to touch of human flesh. Oh God. I drank
the juice. I think you guys should touch something. I'll touch it. It looks cool. Oh God. Well,
what if we all hold hands and the person on the end touches it? And then if anything happens,
it happens to all of us. Like electricity? Hopefully not. Cause then the person on the
end is going to be the one that gets affected. Oh yes. The middle people do. Okay. I think. Why
are you trying to be in the middle all the time? I'm not trying. I'm not going to hold your hand.
You just touch it by yourself. Maybe. Okay. I can do that. Okay. Okay. I mean you go up to this wall
and standing before this glowing sigil, this seal, you reach your hand up tentatively at first and
then you place it on this magical seal and it feels just like a wall. Okay. So you mean like the
wall, the rest of the wall, it doesn't feel different from that. It's no different than if
you were to place your hand on the other wall next to it. But I can still see it. Yes. Nothing
happens. Okay. Well, I don't think touching it works. Oh, that's weird. Can I search the room to
see if there's anything that is like casting this onto the wall? What would your observation
probably fall under skill, right? I would imagine. Okay. So give me a skill roll. You know, say it's
observation so you can use your fancy observation guy badge there. Would you say this is researching?
Probably more detective. Well, okay. Yeah. At least I get the re-roll. Yeah.
Two fives and a two. All right. When you start observing this room and you're turning around
looking for a projector, you do see a guy standing in the corner of the room, but he is once again,
an apparition and he is holding his head in his hands at his side. He's a portly fellow
and he just begins to laugh more and more intensively as soon as he knows.
Everybody make a toughness check. I think this is funny. Oh, two fours and a six. Six five and a four.
Five. It begins to rain intensely outside. You got a five. What'd you get Vivian? A six five and a
four. Six five and a four. Two fours and a six. Two fours and a six. Okay. So you guys aren't scared
out of this room immediately, but you do hustle your way out of this room. Vivian, throw the rock.
Okay. I'll try. I'll sling a rock at him. Okay. And this rock goes through the apparition and
hits the back wall like a rock hitting a wall. You never know. I thought maybe it was like a
Scooby-Doo thing. Hey man, do you know anything about the seal? He just begins to laugh louder
and louder and louder. Did you hear my question? Does he count as an elderly person? Can I use my
elder care to roll plus one die to charm with the elderly? Definitely not. Damn it. Definitely not.
He is not elderly. He is dead. He is a ghost. I scream and stumble backwards out of the door of
the room. Thank you. I did not realize that his head was off of his body in his hands. Yes, it is
like he is holding it at his side. Like he is not. I thought he was like, oh no guys. No, no.
I thought he was. His head is decapitated. The first one was scarier to me when I couldn't see
his face and he was just staring at the floor laughing at the floor holding his head. I was
like, that's terrifying. Oh, maybe next time. Who knows? But this guy's. No, I mean, I'm just saying
I was scared either way. So we are scared of the room or we're not? Cause didn't we all meet the
check? You did. You're not like scared of the room where you're going to run out of the house,
but you're scared enough of the room. So we're in the hallway now. Yeah. You don't want to be
with the headless guy. Okay. So we found the seal. How do we protect it? That guy seemed to have
that unlock. I think like he got it. I'm, I'm not going to tear this house down, Bonnie. Okay. Well,
who do we do? How do we, how do I deal with that? I barely know anything. We just started learning
about government. Where's the town hall? We'll go there. Okay. But they're probably not there now.
It's nighttime and a weekend. Okay. Well, we'll go on Monday. A lot of skip school. Well, after
school, I'm sure they're open at like three o'clock in the afternoon. Yeah. I don't know. I'm jumping
to conclusions, I guess. I'm very tired. I'm getting really grumpy guys. I could probably just
do a sick day and, and, and go while you guys are in school. It's pretty easy for me to catch up on
my classes. They're all online. Oh, that's true. That's weird. I feel like we should come up with
a different reason why the house shouldn't be brought down though. Telling them that a bunch
of ghosts are in there probably won't convince them. Well, if there's ghosts, that means it's like
historically important probably, right? What if we tell them there's like a whole herd of kittens in
there and if they break the house, then all the kittens are going to die. Oh, what about the seals
in the basement? We didn't even check on them. Should we go to the basement and see if there's
seals in here? I think the seal is in that room that we were just in. That looked like a seal.
I was just really hoping to see some actual seals. She did say seals, plural. Oh, I think that
getting downstairs would be good. All the, all the crazy weird wild stuff seems to be up here.
Let's go check out downstairs, at least like the main floor and then find that basement. Okay.
Yeah, let's go back downstairs. We hurry down the stairs. Okay. So you guys hit the first floor.
It's pretty large. There's a number of rooms. Anyone in particular you guys are looking.
Probably go to the kitchen because the kitchen usually has a door to the basement.
Yeah, I was thinking that too. Okay. Good call. So you guys are approaching the kitchen. Everybody
give me a toughness check of a four. I got two sixes and a three. Four three and a one. Three.
Because two of you made it, Maxwell, you're very hesitant to go too much further,
but you're still willing to because your two friends are so brave at this point. But when
you get into the kitchen, you see a bloody knife stabbed into the middle of the countertop
and a bunch of moldy decaying food laying around that looks like it's been there for too long.
But there is another one of these seals by the large antique cooking stove. So they have another
seal in the kitchen. So is there one on each floor maybe? Oh, that's a good call, Bonnie.
Oh, well now we know there's two and so we can just leave and do that town hall thing.
Because I think we're I think we did it. We did it. Hooray. Do we know enough about the situation
to say we did it though? I feel like we don't. We have to go downstairs.
Has to have to. Do you want to guard the door up here and we'll go down? Oh, I'm not going anywhere
alone. Yeah, you'd have to be alone. No, you could use that bloody knife for protection if you got
scared. You know exactly what's gonna happen when I touch that there's gonna be some crazy thing
that flies out of the rotten fruit and tries to stab me or something. Well, that does track. Yeah,
probably. Maybe don't touch that. But if Bernice comes in here, she'll definitely believe you're
a murderer. I start walking toward the basement door. Okay, that the mere mention of the steroided
girl schedule. I must exit. As you guys walk towards the basement door, the knife suddenly falls
out of the countertop. I freaking told you guys. I told you. I told you that was gonna happen.
Well, we didn't even touch it. We don't have to. There's something that's touching it. And there's
nothing coming out of the fruit yet. That's true. They're probably gonna start like get animated
and sing some song about morals. Sounds like veggie tales. Just as you say that, the food on
the table begins to sing. Hallelujah. Nope, begins to rive and maggots and flies begin to erupt out
of it. It's actually worse than my nightmares. Oh, that's gross. Should we just leave in general?
Let's just go to the basement. We're already here. Okay, this is a scare tactic. The house is trying
to scare us. Okay, ready? 123 run. You guys run into the basement. And who's who's the last person
through the basement door? Probably Max. Okay, Maxwell, as you run through the door, it slams
with such force behind you that you propel both Bonnie and Vivian down the stairs and the three of
you tumble all the way down the staircase to the bottom. Ow! Guys. Max, what the heck? You tripped
all of us. Yeah, that hurt. Someone slammed the door on me. Yeah, okay. You heard it slam. What the
best is happening? I didn't slam it. So last thing I want to do is close the door to a creepy basement
behind. Well, I guess it would be a good idea to separate us from the fruit. I thought I'm not
really angry that it happened. I am sorry I fell on you and I swear it wasn't me. I'm gonna turn my
flashlight on. I got it on the whole time. All right, and you- Bonnie, stop turning your flashlight
off. I told you we should hide in the shadows. You've had it on this whole time. Yes. I thought
there was gonna be like real people in here that might see it. Anyway, let's look around. It doesn't
take you guys long to find another seal on one of the basement walls. Okay, that proves that. There's
definitely one on each floor. Should we just go now? I concur. I agree. Well, okay, but I still
don't feel like we know enough about it. What else? What do you want to know? Children. Oh my god,
what the fuck was that? Children. Yes, hello? You should not be here. Yeah, we're protecting the
seals. Yes, you must protect the seals. And suddenly the first ghostly apparition appears
in front of you. Holy shit. Okay, it's your mom. Hey mom, you told us to protect the seals and I
just like you gotta give me a little bit more information. I'm not your mother. Oh, sister?
Possibly, but not at all. Okay, well anyway. This house must not be destroyed.
Surely you've seen some of the other ghosts that wander these halls. They don't seem very nice.
They're not nice. So I've locked them away here, however my power continues to wane. Oh,
is that why the seals don't do anything? The seals do everything. The seals are keeping them here.
They're what's keeping us all from getting out. Why can't you get out? Because of the seals.
Are you a bad guy too? No. Okay, how do we protect the seals? They must not be destroyed.
Okay. You cannot let them be destroyed. But the longer you stay here, the more danger you are in.
You shouldn't be in the house. Well how are we supposed to know what to do without coming in
the house? I tried to scare you away and tell you to protect the seals. Well we didn't know what that
meant lady. I thought you had seals in the basement. You know like arf arf. You thought I had seals.
Well what else would I think? Children, you must get out of here now. Time is running short. How
do we protect the seals? Don't let the house get destroyed. Okay. And she begins to fade. But why?
Thanks Auntie. As you guys are standing here and she starts to fade, it feels like the entire house
is being affected by an earthquake and begins to shake and everything that's on the walls or
countertops begins to fall off. Everybody make me a toughness check. Is this one of those basements
with those slanty doors that go to the outside? No, there is no bilko door. There's only one door
that you can see that you know leads in and out. Three. Two sixes and a two. I got a two of four
and a five. Okay. Vivian, you're the only one that can that like isn't completely freaked out.
Maxwell, Bonnie, you guys are terrifying. I'm gonna scramble for the stairs. Uh huh. Yeah I'm
right behind her. I'm trying to get out of here as fast as possible. Vivian, you linger for a moment
longer and suddenly not just the guy holding his head in his hands comes out of one of the walls
but he is joined by several more ghosts including the cat and another boy who's crying holding his
head in his hands although his head is still attached and then several more ghosts begin to
pile into this basement and begin to chase you and Maxwell and Bonnie. Okay guys just calm down. You
know you can stay here. We're leaving. I'm getting out of this place as soon as possible. Okay yeah
go push on the door. It is locked. Well it feels locked. Guys help me push on the door. There's
something wrong. I can't get it to open. Okay let's throw shoulders against it. Yep. Oh my
one two three. Yeah everybody let's do a combined toughness check here. Five and two two. Six.
Three two and a four. Okay good enough to bust this door straight open and you guys don't stop
pumping those little legs of yours until you are back out this front door. Oh my god what was that?
So we do have to go to the committee. Okay I don't really know what committee but I guess we'll just
figure it out on Monday. Oh. Go to the town hall. Monday's tomorrow by the way. Okay tomorrow.
Tomorrow. You know if we hang out here I guess you know we'll have to analyze what we're more
afraid of but uh we should lure Bernice here and then and then just kind of close her down in the
basement. That'd take care of a lot of problems. Oh my god I don't want to go back in there though.
Look at my face. Oh I see the face. I think there's better ways that we can deal with that.
I'm sure the dinosaur got her anyway. Yeah that's probably true too. Did she run off that direction?
Children children children. Oh my god the ghost lady. No no no no over here. Oh god
someone in the bushes. Stranger danger. Identify yourself. Points the flashlight of the bush. Me
too. It's gonna be kind of strange. I'm Margaret O'Sullivan. What? No. Who's that? You're a statue.
I'm not a statue. Yeah. You're thinking of Margaret O'Sullivan my great great great grandmother.
I'm Margaret O'Sullivan her great great great granddaughter. I need a glass of water. Your family
needs more names in it. It had several in between me and me and great great great grandma. Okay so.
And she stands up and she is she is wearing the futuristic armor. Why are you from the future?
That is pretty that's just it. I am from the future. Yeah I know I can tell by your clothes.
Why are you guys in that house? Why did you have a dinosaur? Okay yeah that's a big problem right?
Yeah it seems like it. Probably. Yeah I didn't have a dinosaur. I was making my way. Downtown?
No. Back through time I was visiting the dinosaurs and when I went to leave I was attacked by a
pterodactyl on my way out and it kind of messed up my chronovortex and somehow I ended up here.
All of my tech is smashed. I don't have my chronovortex anymore. You broke the statue. Yeah I
fell right into that thing. How are you gonna fix that? It hurts. Mrs. Beans is really upset about that.
Okay we have many bigger things. Did you mess up the timeline? I didn't mess we haven't messed
anything up quite yet. Wait who's we? Are you with other people? No. Are you with us? How many of you
are there? It's just me. I meant in general. Just like the royal we? Yes. Oh sure. We're getting
dragged into this. Well you guys are the only ones I think that have seen the dinosaur. Yeah. Bernice?
Did you see Bernice? I don't know what you're talking about. I think I have plausible deniability.
I got hit in the head pretty hard. I didn't see a dinosaur. Probably didn't see a dinosaur. I need
your guys' help. Okay. Why? We need to get my chronovortex back so that no more portals open.
Is that like a part of your brain? Nope. Okay can you help us with this house if we help you with
that? Do you know about ghost seals? No. Oh. No I don't. I don't care. What's... I don't care about
this house. Do you have a strong hand at the city hall by chance that you could get some legislation
passed? I'm from about... Do you know the lottery numbers for next month? I'm from about 200 years
in the future. So you do have the lotto numbers. I definitely don't. Okay. Children get on task.
Okay. Oh you're right. Have you tried any of these cookies? Would you like to buy some? We have
quite a variety of flavors. Yes and all in our wagon right over here. They'll probably make you
feel better. You don't have the wagon. You carry it everywhere with us. Up the stairs in the haunted
house. Down the stairs in the haunted house. No wonder we rolled so poorly. I don't want any
fucking cookies. Oh wow that's really... Okay all I've heard about my whole life is fucking cookies.
Okay. She's swearing a lot. I whisper to Vivian. Listen. She seems angry. Listen. I need your guys'
help. Okay. Okay. With the spiral vortex. Chrono vortex. Okay. It's a handheld... Radio? No no.
Looks more like a controller or something. Oh okay. So we could just get the tv remote.
No. Okay. It needs to be my chrono vortex. We should go to Wally World. They might have it.
No. I need you guys to be on the lookout for any more dinosaurs. Definitely. If there's a dinosaur
nearby. Run away? No. Fight it. Oh my god. The chrono vortex has to be near where any dinosaurs
come from. It opens portals. That's what's letting the dinosaurs in. We need to stop that before
whoever has it opens a large enough portal to where dinosaurs are going to stream out and wipe
out everything. The dinosaurs messed up your portal but someone has control of the portal?
It's just a controller. They like bumped me and I hit the wrong settings and ended up here.
And now the dinosaurs are pushing the buttons? No. I'm confused. Somebody has the controller.
Mrs. Beans has it. Let's go ask her. Yeah she knows everything. Let's go find Miss Beans.
Come on. Come on lady. I'm not coming. Everybody is looking for me here. Why? Because I'm very
strange looking and I don't have other clothes. Who else have you seen? I don't know. I heard it
over the newscast and then I heard some people talking about a stranger when they were walking
away from the juice bar and that must have been me. I'm gonna lay low. I have to find some things
to help fight the dinosaurs so that if any get through we can handle them. The smaller ones
aren't such a big deal but you know there are quite a few large ones out there that if they
come through the portal you three aren't going to be able to to handle them. I don't know why we can
handle them now. Are we talking herbivores, carnivores, like what kind of dinosaurs are coming through?
I mean egg eaters. Whatever decides to come through the portal. I don't know. Can I ask you
one of the more rational questions I've had today? Sure. Why are you coming to three children instead
of police? Or Miss Beans. Can you imagine if someone walked into a police station and said
hello I'm a time traveler and I need to get my remote control back to stop the dinosaurs from
coming through the portal? Well tomorrow we have to go talk to the town hall about how they can't
knock this house down because there's ghosts so I think we can kind of relate. Why don't we go
together? We'll support you. With the both of us having rather unique stories they'll have to
believe one of us maybe. Maybe one will make the other story look better. We will all end up in the
psych ward and that's not something I need to get my thing back so if you guys aren't willing to
help me then I guess just forget that you ever said. We'll help you. We'll help you geez. Where
do we go to help you? Find the dinosaurs? Find the changer? Find the dinosaurs? Find the chronovortex.
Okay that sounds dangerous. Let's go find- where'd you find- Can you at least buy a box of cookies
from us? Also did you know it's Sunday? It's a school night. I just remembered that. My parents
are gonna be so mad. Yeah that's pretty late. Uh anyways yes I have no food. Sure I'll buy some
boxes of cookies. Everybody make a charm test for me of a four. Yours is a five because you- I got a
five. Okay. I got a four. Okay. Got a four. Okay. The three of you hand her three boxes and she gives
you three very strange looking credits. They're blue metallic definitely not American dollars
and she goes thank you I'll be around Bob's junk and stuff. I'm trying to fit something together
to make a weapon so I'll be in here. The mafia might have one you can borrow. You three children
have wild imaginations my god. Wild imaginations? You're telling me about dinosaurs and time
traveling. It's probably a good thing we have wild imaginations or we we probably would tell the police
to put you in the psych ward. Yeah last week we met death so I mean- Yeah Vivian became immortal.
Who's crazy now? She's haunted but she's immortal. You children have a lot going on. Find the chronovortex
let me know. Yep. If you if you see any more dinosaurs. How do we let you know? I'm gonna be around the junket
side. You'll find- I will have to come back here. You don't have a walkie talkie. You should get a
walkie talkie at the wall in the room. I do and she like she does something on her arm and it like pulls up the
radio chain. What radio channel are you guys on? Yeah 6.9. That's a funny number. Okay there. Okay. Radio me
only if you need me. Okay well we should probably go to sleep tonight. Can we wait and find dinosaurs
tomorrow? Probably. Okay. All right we'll regroup. Okay find me tomorrow. Okay. Don't don't radio me
unless you find dinosaurs or the chronovortex. Okay. Okay and she hops over the fence.
Maxwell's gonna bite one of those space coins like you would a gold coin to make sure it's
real gold. Okay. Not that he knows what it is but he's just gonna give it a little
little you know. Are those euros? Can we count these toward the cookie sales? It is definitely a solid
metal whatever it is. I'm not sure but it tastes unlike any coin I've bitten before.
Do you eat a lot of coins? No eat them. You just have to bite them to test them for something. I saw
in a movie. Oh just to see how coin-like they are. Everyone I've bitten has uh it's always worked when
I go to use it to buy things so I guess the technique works. Maybe it's to see if it's not
a chocolate coin. I was just thinking that. That makes so much sense. Yeah if it just bites then
it's not worth money but it is chocolate. Cowboys were smart. They were. I gotta go to bed. Yeah I'm
very tired. I'm tired and scared of stuff. I'm really angry and scared. I have a lot to process.
Okay let's go back home and go to bed. Goodnight Max. Goodnight. Okay and you all head off for a
bit. Do you guys cross the creek? Well yeah we'd have to. Yeah we're not supposed to. I don't have to.
I head right up Bleak Street. Maxwell goes back to his house and Vivian and Bonnie you head back
taking the creek pass which you have taken numerous times. However this time when you get towards
the edge of the creek both of you begin to hear some low singing and then it begins to intensify.
Both of you give me a charm test of five. Bonnie it'll be a six for you. Nope. Five. Vivian you're
passing all the checks today. All of a sudden Bonnie collapses next to you. Oh my god. And you can see.
Like on the log? Yeah we'll say on the log. Like halfway over the log she begins to collapse and grab for you.
And coming from up the stream you begin to see several large figures. It's quite dark so you can
like only make out that they're breaching the water and getting closer and closer to you.
Okay um I am definitely going to sling a rock at one of them. Uh make me toughness check of six.
So you sling a rock in and then the singing begins to intensify as it gets closer and closer to you
too. Can you make me another charm test this time of six? Six. These things begin to get closer and
the singing then turns into a more skin crawling hiss and shriek and all of a sudden you can see
several creatures with fish-like tails but human-like bodies and large claws making their way
up the stream towards you. And that's where we're going to end today's episode. See you next next tuesday.
That was pretty good. That was good. Good job Kat.
The Tales from the Crit podcast is recorded in the Wolfbeard Games Studio in upstate New York.
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I need to look up how to pronounce this thing's name. I apologize.
Let's keep picturing Roger the alien. Hey guys!
That would be so good. Have you met my friend Bernice? He is Bernice.
Why is it so large? That's what she said. Ba dum ching.
I'm just curious how long it'll take my mom to leave. Like two songs?
So you're thinking you're gonna go sooner than later? No no no he's saying at the funeral how
long will his mom hang around until she is tired of the music that he has chosen to play him off.
Yeah and two songs I think is stretching it. I do too. I agree. Honestly if she held on that long.
If she held on until the band got there that would be interesting.