Welcome to the Tales from the Crypt podcast. We are an actual play podcast featuring a
revolving cast of players making our way through micro RPGs, highly narrative tabletop games,
and the more popular and less known RPG systems from a wide variety of genres. Content may
not be suitable for children and content warnings can be found in the description. I'm Riley
Groves and I'll be your host, your guide, your GM on this episode of Tales from the Crypt.
Previously on Tales from the Crypt. And a very loud splash into the creek ahead. I think Samantha
just fell in the water. Yeah we should probably make sure she's not drowning. Yeah we definitely
can't let her die. I got startled by something I thought I saw in the water and so I threw a
giant rock at it. Well did you hit it? I think so. I think I see some smoke. Oh gosh. From the water?
It's coming from the troop club house. Mrs. Beans what's going on? Who's there? Who is it?
It's us. We're you know. Oh. You girls. What's happening? What happened to the statue? The
statue I think it had to do with whatever crashed in the town and our beloved statue. It's she's gone.
Oh no this is terrible. We have to find who did it. You do not see the fish. However you do see in
the brambles a flashlight on in the water. Can I throw a rock at it? Yeah you nail it with a rock
and you send the flashlight floating on down the stream. Was that Samantha's? Uh oh. Did one of you
say you saw Samantha last night? Yeah maybe earlier. She never came home last night.
Welcome to Tales from the Crypt. We are back to playing Badge Quest so I have Anna at the table.
Back again. All right. Tim. Howdy. And Rebecca. Ready to rock. Picking up the roles as Vivian,
Strauss, Maxwell, Cowell, and Bonnie McGuinness respectively. Before we jump back into the episode
let's take a question from our pod deck interview deck. This question is what's your recurring
nightmare? Who wants to start? I could go. All right Anna. I have a recurring nightmare that um
I'm like having a regular dream and then all my teeth fall out and I can feel like my gums. You
can feel the gums? Yeah. Like the dream sensation of yes. Have you ever lost a tooth as an adult?
No. I have all my teeth but I did um I was at a birthday party. I don't know how old were like
10? It was my birthday party. Yeah it was your birthday party and I lost um three molars. At
the same time? Yeah because I had a tootsie roll and it pulled all my molars out. It was so bloody.
It was gross. That's intense. You know it's terrifying. It's crazy that we harbor uh fear
of something that happened like a very long time ago to all of us and like it really wasn't that
big of a deal when you're a kid. You're like oh my tooth fell out. Like it becomes so common
that you're like oh I lost a tooth. Well they say when you dream about losing your teeth like that
it's a feeling that you're out of control of your life. Oh. I don't believe that. Follow up question.
No. No but that's that's wild. Okay I guess if it's a current reoccurring nightmare
um the one I actually had it last night where I dream I have these dreams where I'll be somewhere
with Arlo and I lose Arlo and I wake myself up crying. I'm crying so hard that I wake myself up.
For the listener Arlo is Tim's dog. Oh Arlo's my dog. Yeah that would be a very tough one
like to deal with. I would I would not like having I hate even having any dreams about my dogs because
they're mostly like make me sad. Yeah I get like wildly distraught. It's it's it's uh very
uncomfortable. Yeah. Uh mine is similar to Tim's but mine's kind of more of a waking nightmare.
Oh. Um so my little cat likes to sleep with me at night but when I wake up and he's not sleeping
with me I like get freaked out that I left him outside or something which is weird because he's
not an outdoor cat but like I just can't get past that he snuck outside and I can't sleep again
until I go downstairs and find him and pet him and know he's alive and then I can go to bed.
It's the worst thing ever and it happens at least once a week. I can relate to that. Yeah because
I sometimes I can kind of fall back asleep and I dream that he's like getting attacked by something.
It's awful. So it's worth it just to get my ass out of bed and go downstairs and find the cat.
Yeah. Wild. Um for me mine stems back to a real life event. Back when I was young my dad and I
used to go fishing in the Great Lakes a lot and uh we one night we were down there or over there
and we went to this small food shack and like it was cool. It was like just a normal little you know
you get chicken tenders or burgers or something I don't really remember but then all of a sudden
my dad's like you know look at that spider and I looked up and there was just like a gigantic
big fat gray spider and as I looked around there were just more and more of these
fucking spiders everywhere and this is when I actually developed arachnophobia at the same time
like was because of this. I was like oh my god these things are huge and I am terrified and um
and so I've been you know that's when it started but we found this little cat a kitten at this
food spot and my dad was like we're gonna take it home with us so like we drove home with it
um when we left and we had this cat and once we got that cat all of a sudden every year I've had
those big fat gray spiders on my house like they were not here before but they were here once we
brought the cat and I'm sure you guys have seen some of them they make the gigantic spider webs
they're out at the shed they're out on my porch they're like everywhere and so I'm legitimately
terrified of them so I would take a lot of precautions to not let them get into the front
of the house because like they're huge and awful um and they scare the shit out of me but so since
then every few weeks months something I have a dream that like I am somewhere in my house
in my house some house and these spiders just start appearing like I'll look up and I'll see one and
then all of a sudden I'll look around and they're fucking everywhere and next thing you know on the
in the dream I'm like hunkered down on the floor pretty much crying at one time it was I was on the
top bunk of a bunk bed and I woke up and there were like a bunch of them inches from my face and like
so this happens every couple months freaks the fuck out of me every single time we also like
shakes and stuff I have to wake them up the bunk bed thing was that real no that no that's a dream
no the spiders in no way have actually done anything in a nefarious or like yeah no they
have they followed you home yes and now they haunt you every year that's real for more than 20 years
like it's pretty intense and they're they're a type of orb weaver spider I've looked it up and
like dude golden orbs are the first spider I saw when I was a kid on my grandmother's hill or I
was like holy shit look at the size of that spider and then all of a sudden my eyes started focusing
in and I realized they were everywhere around me and it was terrifying exactly yeah so that's the
exact same thing that happened to me why I have arachnophobia really fucking hate spiders he once
left me in a moving car because of a spider I popped that bitch in neutral and jumped out the
driver's door I have a friend that swerved off the road into a tree because there was a spider
that dropped down from his rearview mirror and he just went nope and then just crashed his car
immediately oh my gosh yeah he will listen to this episode and and what's up Justin love you buddy
dude one time I had a bat in my car while I was driving I didn't know what it was I saw something
streak across my back my rearview mirror and I was like huh must have been a bird out at the back of
my car or something well suddenly like in a movie comical setting I see something black streak across
the mirror again I'm like what the fuck was that but like you know I'm driving so I looking around
I'm like I don't see anything and so I'm driving I'm driving and then I look over and on my dashboard
over the driver's side is a fucking bat passenger side passenger side sorry is a bat and he's
staring right at me just like sitting there and I was like fuck what do I do like there's a bat
and like I'm kind of close to home and like four minutes from my house and I'm like fuck what do I
do okay I'll get home and I'll just like roll the windows down or open the doors and just like leave
the car and it will be okay as long as I can see the bat then I'm fine right and then I know he's
not coming at me so I was like okay conscious decision I don't want to look him in his eyes
I got to drive so I like picked up my phone turned on the camera and like kept him in view so that I
could you know not make eye contact with him and piss him off turn him into a real-life vampire who
kills me or something and I was like okay so as long as he's there we got this buffer of my phone
I'm driving I'm getting a little closer to home I look over and he's not in the camera lens anymore
so I like put the phone down still driving like an idiot instead of stopping and like he's not on
the dashboard and all of a sudden I felt um little fucking something crawling into my collar on the
back of my shirt because I was wearing a dress shirt dude I fucking lost it slammed on the brakes
ran out of the car I'm out in the street ripping my fucking shirts off and the bat was like gone
I never I never seen him never saw him I'll try not to act like a hillbilly never saw him again
and uh yeah that was fucking terrifying that picture is actually up on my on my Instagram
way back in the early days those are one of the few yeah anytime I've encountered a bat I've
immediately dropped to my belly and left the room as quick as possible every time you can ask Bree
you can ask my friend Collie and you can ask Arlo because he watched me break down two years ago
and just cry at like one in the morning as I screamed at this bat and I was like can't you
leave I need to fucking sleep the bat's like can I leave I'd really like to go fucking eat
I had the windows open and everything he just kept hiding behind the curtain and I'm like it's
right there let's go out the window you're so close dude yeah that's terrible we used to have bats
come into the house this is now a National Geographic podcast yeah I know deep dive on
bats this has turned into your deepest fears okay I'll save I'll save the bat stories for another
what goes bump in the night oh maybe we'll find out in today's episode
Bum bum baaaahhh Bonnie where were you those stupid popos kept me at the at the barracks
forever man what did you say I think I'm going to juvie I think they think I killed her which is
really crazy because like I can't kill somebody we didn't even see her after she said she was
gonna go home but her flashlight was in the water and there was that big splash and and I don't know
man she could have just dropped it I don't know man the cops don't think that I'm innocent it seems
and they took out a big chunk of the cookie selling day so if we could just not talk about it and get
Maxwell and just sell some cookies okay yeah my sales are down yeah let's go sell cookies okay
let's circle around with Maxwell do you take Biggles Bridge or do you take the wooden log bridge
across the creek log I think we always take the log yeah I think the the tree the road is like a
not option for us it's mostly a car bridge yeah our parents don't like us up there okay although
I am spooked by going over this bridge right now hmm yeah it's a last night give me a toughness
check oh four both of you a one a three and a four oh a toughness I didn't even I should have three
two twos and a five okay you both get over the bridge without too much trauma okay we don't see
like Samantha's shoe floating stuck on the rock chunk of her hair yeah nope nothing horrifying
good floating body on we go to Maxwell well let's do you want to investigate around the statue we
might be able to see more than it's daylight now yeah on our way through I think we look at the
the statue area and the surrounding areas okay and what are you looking for alien stuff
I'm just looking for stuff that looks unearthly uh both of you make a skills check for me of a five
I got a five a six a five and a three okay as you guys are rifling around
you both pretty much at the same time bump hands as you see something shiny pick up the glint of
the sun and you find it's a small piece of warm metal it's warm to the touch oh this is weird
this definitely came from space yeah I know the sun's not even out metals doesn't just be warm
in general we should show this to max maybe he'll know about it yeah let's go and we scurry on off
to max's house oh hey guys good you're finally here okay come inside yeah we have something crazy
to show you okay I have something really cool to show you first and I hand them each a two-way
radio I went to wazzo world emporium and I have decided there's too much stuff that happened in
the last 12 hours that uh we need to be able to get in touch with each other no matter what
so these are good for easily around town and you hit that button and it makes the call and then we
just we always stay on this channel and that way we can get a hold of each other so we can always
talk because last night was crazy yeah that was awful that was a good idea max these are really
smart awesome thanks yeah hmm so on our way here we we looked around the statue and we found this
weird metal look how warm it is wow that's really weird why I know was it sitting in the sun no the
sun's not even out today that's crazy I think it's part of that thing that hit the statue did you
keep it in your pocket wait wait how big is it yes it's probably like a handful right like you
said it was a piece yeah it's a piece it's it's like um no bigger than an inch in any direction
oh I was picturing like a frisbee shape no it's small it looks like oh I won't tell you what does
it look like I want to roll to see what it looks like I would have looked at it it's a six for you
for a skill yes it's a six it looks like it definitely got broken off of something is it
looks like a corner it looks like the corner of something do you think it's from the statue
no definitely not that's made of some kind of stone this is definitely metal GM you're going
to continue telling me what I saw but uh I got you off no damn okay incorrect get more out of them
maybe we should go back and start searching around the area for more pieces if there's one
piece maybe there's more yeah let's go the long way though and sell some cookies has Maxwell ever
owned an RC car I have the one from the Toy Story movie okay the Fisher Price one actually I have
two of those in a box at my house from when I was a kid that I plan on fixing fantastic they've been
in that box for eight months now cool but I'll get there at some point you make me a skill check of a
six as well and you can use your researcher die for that all right bummer 2344 rough okay disregard
my inquiry and the way that money and stuff works in this world is you actually can spend your cookie
money okay and walkie talkies are an item in here I just use my parents emergency credit card because
this is an emergency okay we will we will put it at from here on out your credit card's probably
maxed at the moment more than you want to spend just like my name that's right maxing out credit
cards Maxwell okay so mark down walkie talkies I'll give you all three in our inventory yep so
you're just gonna have one what channel are we on six six six point nine I knew it yep oh my god I
didn't even think about it I was just we don't get it we don't get it I didn't get it when I said it
but now I get it that was great maybe you heard some high schoolers say it and giggle and now you
think it's funny but you don't know why 69 is the funniest number okay so this is going to take up
one weight and your carrying capacity is twice your toughness score so I'm full up because my
toughness is two so I have the Swiss Army knife and a 2a radio and that's it well mine is twice
your toughness score your toughness is two no my toughness is one oh yes yeah you are at your
limit I can carry six things so if you have other stuff I so can I okay and you guys have the wagon
which will allow you to carry ten frog I found in my favorite matchbox car and I like this CD
it's kids bops you like kids pop well I get the real ones get the now CDs they're so much better
I'm not allowed to listen to that stuff but they don't even swear they're all edited
plus your parents won't even know oh well I they they'll see it all of everything I get is on their
their car yeah but we have cookie cash oh there is cookie cash you can spend your cookie cash it's
just not a great idea we should get ice cream more often because I'm not allowed to get a lot
of ice cream but if I'm using this cookie cash and it's untraceable ice cream time yeah I agree
let's get some ice cream later it's been a really tough weekend my favorite place is right at the
top of Main Street yum mine too or I guess bleaker street bleak street ooh what's bleaker street
is that Sherlock Holmes yeah anyway okay let's do a cookie sales check for your next four hours
okay tell me what part of the map are you guys going to try to sell cookies at I was thinking
that we would go this way to go back to investigate in here but if we're going to get ice cream maybe
we go bloop bloop bloop so we can hit all these houses and then hit the ice cream joint at the
end of the shift okay let's do a cookie check it is your charm nice it is a five or higher a six
will get you two boxes sold we got one five I got one five Vivian sold no cookies okay oh that's a
first that is so Bonnie and Maxwell you each sell one box of cookies so add another five dollars to
your total and seems you guys are swinging down around that way on your way down to the end of
bleak street near Bob's junk and stuff but mostly junk when you get down to the end of bleak street
it's like the first time that you guys notice the house at the end of the road at all
you know it's been there so it's not like it just popped up but it's the first time ever that it's
gotten your attention it has one big red X now across the front door and tape it's like taped off
1212 junk street it's technically on junk street but it's at the end of bleak street it looks
abandoned and it's quite creepy looking do we know anything about it or like it's not like
you know kind of infamously run down or condemned or anything nope so this is the like this is the
first time you've really even ever thought about this house or heard anything you just don't
remember it ever coming up Vivian have you ever even noticed that house right there uh well I
don't really like to come down this way so not really either that's weird I've never even noticed
it I noticed it when I was sneaking around the junk and stuff checking out for the mob the other
maybe that spooky house is where the mob actually is and they're not in the junkyard it's got a big
red X on it I bet someone died in there oh I just thought it meant the mob is here or not
X marks the spot maybe that's why they keep their treasure you know what that seems kind of silly
though because don't the mob not want you to know where they are maybe it's their treasure
X marks the spot it's like a map should we go check it out what if what if there's a million
dollars in there I would really like a million dollars you're gonna steal it from the mob though
well I mean they probably don't get it through legitimate I'm gonna stop focusing on that train
of thought I think just yes we should we should check that out oh well knock on the door maybe
they'll want to buy some cookies yeah we could try that okay what do you think we should check
we could try that okay what do you think the big you really think the big X means I don't know what
it means I don't either it probably doesn't mean people are in but I'm still gonna knock because
I'm polite and I don't I don't want to just be breaking and entering we did that to the old
Vivian's house and we weren't supposed to and then we had to kill her kinda we kind of like robbed
and murdered her yeah we did kind of sick death on her oh that puts it all in a very different
perspective than I had before yeah our adulthoods are gonna be difficult I don't think we're
children anymore I think we're adults now I can feel my mental health dying do you think this is
why the police were asking us about Samantha they are aware that we had old Vivian murdered by death
wait can death be the murderer this is very confusing to a 12 year old brain I'm confused
anyway I'm gonna knock on this door now okay so do you read the X that's across the door do I read
it it's just an X is there a sign on the door like a condemned sign or something yes it says condemned
and it says to be demolished by Freeman's construction but there's no answer at the door
it says it's gonna be demolished oh well there's no one here to buy our cookies then
are the two are Maxwell and Vivian are you guys on the front porch are you yeah we would have
followed her okay I don't know why I want to go in here so bad well it's not like we're breaking
and entering because no one lives here look that window over there is already broken so really we're
just entering yeah but there's glass there we don't want to you know we could get cut I have a first
aid kit as you guys are looking at the broken window you see what looks like the outline of a
woman in the window I duck down guys there's someone in there I duck as well we just knocked
well maybe she ignored it I got a lady in there all of you roll a toughness check of six no no
I forgot what color I rolled but there's no six in here so we should be good okay I gotta pay better
attention to that okay as you guys duck the woman that you see gets a little bit more clear and
she's like got super long dark hair very pale skin she's wearing an off-colored white gown and
in a flash she rushes towards the window that you guys are down below the front door so you
can see her through it and then stays there for a moment she mouths something and then
disappears uh guys I think that was a ghost that was definitely a ghost that was really an angry
ghost is there a wedding in there I don't know I'm real freaked out right now more freaked out than
I was with the cops you know that last part when she like disappeared disappeared yeah I couldn't
tell if I blinked did you all blink at the same time as I did please say yes I don't know bad
yeah sure if that makes us feel better makes me feel better we were all blinking and then she
walked away I really want to run away from the house yeah I agree okay and something crashes
inside the house oh my god oh god this is haunted as fuck yeah bye run sorry sorry I didn't mean to
swear again it's getting to be a really bad habit I think that was the perfect situation okay to use
those words that was really scary yeah that was scary as all heck okay let's let's go sell cookies
to someone alive sell cookies let's go let's go get an ice cream and settle our nerves that was crazy
yeah definitely I thought we were gonna check out the garden on our way to the ice cream place
we were gonna do a whole bunch of things before ghost loud noise yeah I'm gonna peek in the window
one last time just just after you ran away you're gonna go back no you're right we ran away we ran
away we're already away player me is very interested in what player really wants to scout this whole
thing out but my character specifically it's like no toughness of one because of fear so no
I'm very tough but I don't know being an 11 or 10 year old or whatever 11 I'd be pretty fucking
scared yeah yeah so maybe that's why you guys don't sell many cookies in this time period
because uh you book it over to the ice cream shop which has no line there is nobody at it however
there is a line of people down the street around the corner from main street on to blank street
leading into the brain freeze juice bar you who wants juice over ice cream all those weird fatty
you know f-a-d-d-y like the adults that are into fads all those people yeah small minds
ice cream so much better than that way better and better for you you hear a kid walk by he goes I
feel so smart after this and two for ones you got to try this brain juice bro are you talking to me
are you talking to me uh no I don't even know you oh who are you talking to my buddy I'm sorry I
didn't see him there two for one brain juices bro what the heck is that you haven't heard of brain
juice no you drink it it's it's it's a juice and man you just you're smarter is there pulp in it
does it taste like ice cream better than ice cream and no no there's no pulp in brain juice
is it somebody's brain juice because I don't care if it's Albert Einstein's brain juice I am
definitely smarter okay what's one thousand times two oh shit two thousand sorry guys bro I told you
twice as smart if I ever was I'm not good on the spot with math I'm not good at any point with
math I'm sorry maybe you can be you could be if you drank some brain juice like I said two for
ones I want ice cream yeah we're I mean we're gonna get ice cream first and then maybe again
after if the juice doesn't taste good you want to get that stuff it looks gross all right bye
children I don't know I thought you were a fellow child I am a child oh but you guys are really kids
getting ice cream over brain juice wow really condescending man go be an adult I guess I know
what that word means now that I've drank in my brain juice well I know it without it and I'm
eating ice cream think about all the words you could know if you did drink the brain juice
I'm gonna lean into Vivian and whisper to her this guy seems like he should be really dumb
but he knew a thousand times two he's awful pushy though I don't like people telling me what to do
I'm not gonna get brain juice cuz it just cuz he says so that is a good point I am having a hard
time coming up with something better than that him and his friend just like punch each other in the
arms as they walk down the streets as kids do I guess I forgot what it was like to be a kid but
they do stuff and they chugged her one kid rips the top off his brain juice and just like pours it
into his mouth to the point where it like leaks out his cheeks and down onto his shirt it leaks
out of his cheeks no no no like his mouth gets so full it leaks out of his mouth and down his
and down his it's going through his body so fast it's already leaking out of his cheeks
would you say that he is doing he is drinking it this quickly out of joy or out of an almost
unwanted need of consumption some might say that but should they who's to tell something's in the
juice if those guys got that smart imagine how smart we could be you want to stand in this line
maxwell for ice cream maxwell comes back with a very large chocolate ice cream scone
scone oh yeah you got a chocolate ice cream cone uh with with uh sprinkles on it and he's just like
guys you want to talk about smarter i just waited for 30 seconds and got one of the best treats
i've had in a long time that's smart that's true and max knows his business i mean i told you i
wasn't gonna not get the ice cream you know what's even better didn't spend my money that was ice
cream money wait did i just spend our profits you spent your profits perfect and subtract five
dollars five dollars it's 2023 bro five dollars for an ice cream that's that's a running price
definitely not you gotta go to king cone and pitsfield you think today it's still five dollars
i went there like last year a year before and it was very i was shocked at how reasonable the prices
were for the amount of ice cream you get as well like a large is like a foot and a half i mean it's
like 18 inches tall it's impossibly but we're also children so we don't understand this is a
fantasy world and you know it seems weird to be like subtract three dollars and 79 cents plus tax
from your thing then we'd have to get into what the tax rate is in the town of kleinville what
stage it's in i was thinking like ohio not ohio like another yeah like a midwestern yeah definitely
anyways your ice cream is five dollars um at this point you guys see somebody holding a brain juice
walks up to this outdoor chalkboard and you see them look at it for a moment and then they pick
up a stray piece of chalk and they begin writing frantically across it and at the end they they go
yeah that's right and they write an answer down circle it and um it looks for all intents and
purposes like they just solved whatever was on this chalkboard well somewhere town just has a
chalkboard yep just outside street chalkboard okay it's probably one of those like sandwich
boards for advertising and they just went and scribbled on it anyway okay something like that
yeah guys i think we should i'm gonna try the juice you don't have to wait for me but i'm gonna
get the juice i'm gonna sell some cookies in this line too in case other people don't like juice
that much i agree with the second part but i really don't think you should drink that juice
it seems i'm drinking it man these people don't seem normal this town isn't normal we've seen a
ghost our friend might have died um well at vivian almost died that old lady vivian definitely died
you guys have lived here a lot longer than i have are you saying that's not normal
not that i've experienced it's not that normal but it's normal lately so whatever i'm just gonna
get this juice i don't even remember this juice bar being here what i only remember ice cream
not the surrounding snacks it did just open fair this is starting to feel a lot like the twilight
zone i haven't seen that show it's really old oh i don't like old things it was one of the only
ones i was able to watch before i found my birthday was my parents password because it was on this old
movie channel so they didn't care if i watch stuff on it oh if it's black and white it's probably not
scary anymore i guess are you guys in line yes at the okay at the juice bar two people walk by um
and they speak a language that you guys have no real clue what it what they're saying the one
lady goes wow i didn't know i knew mandarin before this speaking of mandarin would you like to buy
some of these delicious cookies i hear it's a very smart thing to do and i elbow bonnie and vivian
like watch what's gonna happen can't make a charm of six 335 uh i'm sorry i cannot eat cookies
anymore i think it's brain juice from here on out this has expanded my mind and she walks away
well that was strange that was strange and you want to drink this stuff that's making everyone
seem just a little off but what if they're really smarter that lady was speaking some language
i have an idea uh-huh i hear that if you know what it's made out of and you know that it's safe
and since there's no ingredients on the cups everyone has we should just sneak into the back
and see what they're putting into this and then we'll know it's a okay but don't ask them because
something seems weird okay but i don't want to lose my place in line so maybe you and vivian
should go viv you want to go check this out i think we should investigate this seems weird
drinking that juice me neither if you seem weird we're gonna tell your dad why okay sorry i don't
mean that i mean i value our friendship but ducky doug was really nice last night i mean your dad
nice he's pretty cool he's so scary he dropped me off and he said have a good night and that was
pretty cool yeah i guess for dad the bare minimum yeah oh well i don't see my parents very often
it's really angry so it's crazy that he said anything really yeah and the vein was slowly
going away whoa that's crazy next next please is that me oh yeah that's the counter what can i do
for you brain juice what is a secret recipe yeah but i have food allergies so what is it um what's
in this it is a proprietary blend of leaven herbs and fruits and vegetables all things with many
antioxidants what are accidents and why don't i want them you don't want them they run through
your body and they are not good not good do you want the brain juice or not the line is out the
door how much is a little brain juice five dollars five dollars okay it's two for one
okay i'll i could i only want what my friends don't want any do you want some he fills up too
i don't know it here okay now i have two yes okay go drink them goodbye we walk out of next
we were already we were already scooting around yeah we're not there we were going around back
two of these i guess i'll sit on the bench and wait for my friends to come back the two of you
skirted around the back okay you find a very large solidly locked metal door are there any windows
no windows it's like a brick building okay i would like to pull out my swiss army knife okay and find
i'm gonna pull out the toothpick okay try to pick this lock okay yeah it's gonna be a six and it's
gonna be a skill all right one four five okay which little piece of your swiss army knife did you
pull out the toothpick it snaps in the lock well i don't think that worked no you should shoot at
it with your slingshot maybe it looks pretty old maybe you can break it and then you can just
you can break it you have like a steel ball bearing i actually have the sleuthing badge and so i could
probably figure out how to get this open or some clues at least oh well i wish i hadn't jumped on
it so quickly i might still have my toothpick because sometimes i can kale in my teeth
yeah that's sad that you lost it in the lock i don't think you're getting it back
maybe i could still use the thick part oh probably not yeah well what do you
yeah check it out what do you think about the lock can i like okay what's your sleuth badge too
it gives me a plus die to related so if i were to i don't know a skill to like determine
something like i don't know a clue okay um yeah give me a skill check of six
six five and one okay so you know by researching it do you have an older sibling
uh i probably have an older brother okay would he be college age probably like late teens like 17
okay you remember him showing you on a door similar to this one time that you can in fact open these
if you have a very sturdy credit card oh okay and you you just have to do it right however you've
never actually tried it but you're pretty sure if given the right tools maybe you could get this
bad boy open okay you know it's funny my older brother andy showed me how to pick a lock with a
credit card you have your parents credit card right oh yeah and even better it's uh it's an
actual platinum card made of platinum which i think is kind of weird but yeah it's super sturdy here
okay let me see if i can replicate what my brother showed me should i do another skill rule
yes so she has your credit card credit card now um skill yep give me a five because
well because you have an idea how to get open
no your credit card snaps in half no well you know it was maxed out so probably for the better
sorry i'll just email them and they'll get it in like seven business days i thought i could do it
it's okay i'm not worried about it well uh that's not gonna work so no hey i got a quick idea
and i look over at the dumpster and i slide the side panel out and i just kind of poke my head in
there and see if i see anything weird make a toughness check of four for me oh no
six okay you slide this open yeah and with reflexes that you didn't know you had you dodged a raccoon
that comes flying out of the dumpster directly at you and it hits the ground and scurries away
it's a live raccoon and it runs away huh huh i think i just saved a raccoon and in fact you saw
it run away with a ball of paper in its mouth
huh i think i just saved a raccoon and in fact you saw it run away with a ball of paper in its mouth
huh that was so weird i wonder what i got carefully look in there to make sure there are no other
raccoons that might get me in the face i feel like i wonder i wonder what else is in there
okay um and looking in dumpster there's a bunch of boxes it's really kind of gross because it's
you know food stuff um there's some kale ends and some leek bits and some other stuff but you find
one bill that's been uh like kind of ripped in half and the name on it is joice rider md that's
the only thing that makes sense on this bill and it gives an address on strock street all right
bonnie you're sitting out front have you drank in any of this brain juice yet
no i'm waiting for my friends they were gonna find out what was in it all right i'm gonna pull
my hat out uh vivian i found this uh i found some information um but i'll be honest it doesn't look
like much and uh and it's just really stinky in there and um yeah the door probably would have
been a better idea i mean that was the trash that you were looking at
yep and that's what you found um so i guess the raccoon had something in his mouth though
what was that about i'm not sure it looked like a balled up piece of paper or something
did you see which way you know what maybe we should go get bonnie and then try to find the raccoon
yeah let's meet up with her but she should not drink that juice i think i don't think so either
but i really can't find a reason why because there was nothing crazy in the dumpster and this letter
doesn't seem nefarious but i i i mean i agree i agree i don't think she should what did the letter
say um it just has a woman's name or it might be a man i don't really know i've never met anyone
named joice but it says joice rider md which uh normally stands for medical doctor but i'm not
sure if it does and then um there is an address as well okay well yeah let's go find bonnie i will
read the address later when it's important because i forgot to remember it it was something on
strach street yeah strach street was all he said vivian and bonnie you actually know
dr rider lives here so she lives across the street from you guys oh oh you would have known that was
our street too yeah probably he may who knows yeah oh i like to think that bonnie was handed these
juices in an awkward way that she's stuck holding them because there's two of them and i only have
two hands and there's also no caps on them and they're cheap plastics if you squeeze them at all
they're just gonna dump juice out of the top so that's why i sat on the bench and waited because
i couldn't walk anywhere without dumping them everywhere oh hey bonnie you know you could put
those down i know i don't have the hands to move correctly to not dump them everywhere oh okay can
you guys take one of these so i could like move my head yeah let me grab this one and then i
accidentally drop it on that just it clumps oh god that was exactly what i was trying to avoid
but okay this stuff smells weird what does it smell like smells like apples apple and pineapple
pineapple apple pineapple apple it's pineapple flavored sounds gross did you figure anything out
um i figured out there might be a pretty healthy raccoon population in the area and um speaking of
raccoons we gotta go chase that one because we think it had evidence okay well i can't chase
anything with this cup in my hand set it down and let's go oh shit okay you slug it and as
soon as you finish your brain feels like it is open in ways that has never been open before
this is what drugs is this is what drugs is you start to have thoughts about the universe and
life that you've never thought i think i'm losing my childhood as we speak it'll be okay and i take
her arm and i nod toward vivian to grab the other one okay we should probably get her out of this
he you do not feel like you need help in fact for the next hour you're going to take a plus four
dice to any skill check that requires puzzle solving or recall facts okay do i have to track
the hour or will you i will tell you when oh thank god okay guys i'm good i feel great this stuff is
really disgusting but my brain feels bigger i don't know you might have forgotten but in
your little ramblings there you just said something about losing your childhood and that was kind of
nerve-wracking my mind is opened now to bigger concepts i still feel like you shouldn't have
drank that i probably shouldn't have but you know what i feel great about it now i think that's what
people on substances say well i'm just gonna say you should totally try the substance okay well if
you're that much smarter where did that raccoon go earlier i bet up a tree well that was a smart
guess it was a smart guess do you go look for tracks maybe yeah definitely where show me where
it was it's over by this dumpster okay i roll a plus four yeah so you're gonna take a four skill
yep so whatever your skill is take an additional four dice and it's gonna be at a four is the check
okay i got a six
and another six the rest were all ones you know like when you play role-playing games and you
have like one mission let's say sky was a perfect example and so you're going to like that pinpoint
then you go you're like oh i'll stop over here real quick another one opens up yeah i feel like
if we were to go to like our mission list in our menu right now we've got like five or six open
it's just like shit did not mean to make this happen it's just all over the place i get stuck
in the caves and sky room they're my favorite part yeah it's good the case can be fun bonnie
yeah you are able to follow the tracks of the raccoon and it runs down the alleyway it went this
way we definitely have to go find it yes and it runs further down the alleyway away from main street
and then you are able to follow the tracks past palo's paints and crafts and um even across the
street and you are able to follow the tracks all the way to pickle park this raccoon got really far
it's a nice walk though yeah the park's really nice today bonnie you are tracking really well i have
to say thank you i'm like aragorn and lord of the rings do you have a tracking badge i don't
that's wild we should get you one vivian and i will wait is that can we like suggest to miss beans
if that happens is it miss or misses i keep calling her miss beans but i don't know the
difference i just say whatever i say i think one means you're old i was gonna say old but i didn't
want to be mean well i don't know she is people call us miss and we're young so like it must be
age so she must be mrs beans yeah that makes sense sometimes it's just hard to add the extra
this is sound so you just kind of lazily say miss and move on but i think maybe mrs is right
is right mrs sounds right mrs beans mrs beans yeah that's a good amount of syllables
you guys realize where we are yes we are in pickle park but it's daytime it is okay yeah i mean it'd
be like early evening probably that's good about that because we didn't get out of the cop place
till noon-ish and then we sold cookies yep and cookies taste four hours so you're somewhere
around yeah you're probably you know between four and five right now all right we we we should we
should be careful how long we follow these we don't get i mean i know i told the other troop that i
was the pickle park murderer but i'm not but yeah i didn't think you were that didn't make any sense
no i'm not i was just trying to scare them yeah oh they're safety and numbers so we should be
fine as a group and we have like two hours before sunset maybe three i don't know i don't really pay
that much attention to it yeah let's find this raccoon all right i'm gonna keep tracking him yeah
keep that brain juice flowing well i guess not flowing because you already drank it but uh moving
rotating yeah you shouldn't have dumped out that other one nah i think that was a good choice i
don't know it tasted like butts but it was really cool well i'm really nervous what happens later
you know when we're old no once once the benefits wear off most substances are addictive because
once it wears off you needed to have it again to be whatever so in this case smart so i'm just
worried about you why do you know so much about this i watch a lot of documentaries oh i've traveled
a lot oh do you hang out with a lot of drug addicts no oh that's good we have lived in some impoverished
neighborhoods at times oh that's i didn't i didn't expect that from your family i guess well by we i
mean me because it was kind of a situation this one time it was kind of like what happened with
the blossoms uh they didn't really check all the details and then the house they sent me to
uh they went they didn't they didn't search the right spot but it was okay i just kind of told
them what was happening and they got me a new spot it just took a couple weeks and i saw a lot
and i feel like i grew up a lot in those two weeks that sounds really scary you have such a dark
backstory yeah what's what do your parents do um they travel for business i think oh you
oh you guess you're a snap in the woods did you guys hear that yeah it was probably that raccoon
i can get with my slingshot oh you're gonna hurt the raccoon well just stun it you know it's big
if i use a small rock it's not gonna kill it okay try to hone in on the direction of the snapping
okay you see some bushes rustling up ahead let's surround the bushes okay and then she can
vivian will shoot into the bushes to try to scare it out and then we can grab the paper
what paper what are we doing here why are we chasing this raccoon oh is that you swearing off
oh i don't still remember why we were doing this because of the evidence of uh well the
raccoon had paper and it came from the dumpster and i don't know it was just our first potential
clue we're not even really sure if it's a real clue but it's uh the closest we've gotten so far
to figuring out what's in the juice huh okay well that sounds good let's surround the bushes
and i'll get old sling out got old sling out everybody make a toughness check of four
two i got two fours and a six oh almost you got six yeah i got two fours and a six and you got
a four two fours and a two okay and i said four right yeah about to get fucked up by this raccoon
maxwell you get freaked out you see the bush start rustling like quite a bit and you're fairly
certain that you know this raccoon is going to jump out towards you which sends you running
from the bush into pickle park maxwell come back this was your idea yeah i gotta go the
raccoon busts out of the bush between vivian and bonnie does it have the paper in its mouth
you don't see it but it's like a split second like he's right there what do you do can i shoot him
with my slingshot sure toughness of a five i got a six i don't know if raccoons throw up
but you hit him in the side with your slingshot and he'll and he barfs up this ball of paper and
then runs off into the woods perfect got him right in the stomach gross maxwell you're a little
deeper in pickle park it's a little dark in here and still march and you run for a while when you
you come across some footsteps or some footprints in the mud and they're leading just like a little
a little further into this dense part of the part of the forest and all of a sudden a large girl
comes out of the bushes next to you like from where the tracks are emanating from yeah pretty
much the same in the same spot as though they're following the tracks or they are where the tracks
stopped she's coming out where the tracks had went in okay i'm going to she has seen me we've made
eye contact or do i have a chance to hide she sees you as soon as she comes out um hey twerp
i'm moving to immediately reach for my radio hey hey this is a direct connection to the police and
um i'm gonna use it to call for help i have been on the lookout because the police sent me for the
murderer and you look a lot like the pickle park murderer i look like the pickle park murderer well
for all i know because they're no one knows what they look like and it could be you and you just
came at me aggressively in that tone of voice dressed in a troop two five six sash and brave
blossoms you are way too big to be in a brave blossoms i don't think there's a size limit
well you know age-wise you're so old i'm 12 oh i'm 12 boy 12 comes in all shapes and sizes she is
noticeably larger than you you're in you're in brave blossoms too huh yeah can't you see my uniform
is that true six two six i'll be honest there's so many numbers going around with these troops
i just i just associate with you're either in the brave blossoms or you got any cookies on you
of course not got any money no she takes two steps closer to you i have this and i pull out my swiss
army knife with the knife out i've never had to use this so you better be careful and i'm calling
the police and i hit the button i hit the call button sorry so it makes vivian and bonnie's
walkie-talkies ring and then i say uh hey police i think i have found the pickle park murderer and
she is disguised herself as a brave blossom over i think me and vivian just kind of look at each
other for a minute and we're like what i am in need of assistance with the pickle park murderer
over roll initiative vivian why don't you grab that gross crumpley paper and let's go find max
you have to roll it's just one d6 you have to roll a six to go first no more blue dice because
that blue die has been messing with me green die roll the one okay um declaration phase are you
going to act in the think run or scrap or fight phase uh which was which again so think is if you
would try to talk your way out of a situation or talk somebody down is this skill that's charm
a charm okay run away is you try to run away and that one is probably skill okay and fight
would be fight is toughness i'm going to use skill okay because i have a three in that and then i
also have a badge i have a running badge which is plus one d6 uh toughness tests during the running
phase okay so okay so we'll call running toughness too so okay so you're gonna act oh no then i'm not
if it's toughness hell no okay i'm also smaller there's no way i'm going to get away i have to
think my way out of this one i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna try to diffuse the situation or i guess
maintain the mental part of this because she's just thinking physical i'm i'm one step ahead with my
walkie talkie and my fucking knife out yeah she is much larger than like a good 60 pounds at least
and like inches inches taller yeah max is a really slight deal little dude there have you ever seen
dodgeball one of my favorite movies you know the how they play the girl scouts in the beginning you
know bernice this is this is bernice she is the one that i've modeled this character off of so she's
got a unibrow that's so i'm like everything so you're you're in the talking phase she is not
so how do you try to talk her down or maintain the current situation she's already moving at me
boy this is a tough thing yeah trying to think about how like if so if there are she's already
moving and there's like there's really nothing that i could say apparently to get her attention
told her i talked to the police made a call to the police i have a knife out doesn't get much
more talkie than that um i don't want to run with a knife because that could end up poorly with a
bad roll i guess i'm gonna fight with a knife okay you're gonna fight so if you're acting in
the fighting phase oh i do get plus one to attack at least so that's okay so she's gonna go first
because you failed the initiative role so she's gonna quickly close the gap between the two of
you and she's gonna make her fight roll first she did get a six so you have a chance to defend
yourself you never split the party we'll be there in a second right are we heading over yeah we're
definitely so the weird message you have no idea where i am the only way that you can get there
would be like if you guys hit the call button maybe you'll hear i can't be too far away yeah
it's not like i ran a half mile away so maybe we'll just hear it in the distance and you can
try to find me that way or you start shouting as writing i've been shouting you guys maybe
it's kind of an open park you could probably hear that far away okay you need to make a toughness
role to defend so if you get a six you're gonna dodge this attack then you're gonna make your
toughness i got a three okay and your toughness is a one correct okay i don't have any additional die
added to defense do you think the knife would help with that i mean at this point i should be able
to just kind of hold it out in front of me yeah are you gonna stab someone he's working himself
up to it you're gonna become the pickle park murderer you've like self-prophesized maybe after
i finally use the knife once i'll be able to use it again again again you'll realize i love doing
this yeah i should be using this with everything with peanut butter mayonnaise these brave blossoms
are really getting into a lot of murder yeah really early on like really quickly this escalated
quickly you brandish your knife you hold it out like you said with both hands in front of you
and she takes two steps forward and she swats your hand down knocking the knife out of it
and comes across with a monster right hook nailing you right in the face she's going to do one damage
to your toughness which drops you down to zero which with that amount of stress when one of your
skills drops to zero you become unconscious and the lights go out for old maxwell did we hear this
do you hear someone getting punched i mean well like he was shouting and stuff you hear him yeah
you definitely heard him shout and then you hear the shouts not continue okay well we're running
in that direction okay and that's where we're gonna end the episode all right so save max um
yeah actually let's give you guys some badges it's been two episodes so let's resolve some um we'll
give you guys any applicable badges uh anna you are going to earn the animal tamer badge cool for
successfully dealing damage to an animal during a scrap all right so you're going to get a plus one
die to skill or toughness tests made while fighting against animals that's cool i like that bonnie
you've earned the tracker badge by succeeding on the skill test to identify animal tracks
and you're going to earn a plus one die to skill tests made to identify tracks um and actually
both vivian and maxwell earned the just say no badge for avoiding peer pressure to take drugs
or some other harmful substance you're gonna get a plus one die on charm tests made for resolve
during a scrap cool plus one died to what charm tests used to resolve during a scrap okay so like
in the thinking phase you get it yeah okay and uh maxwell already has the researcher badge is that
right yes okay and that's where we're gonna end that episode so um tune in next time to find out
what happens in the world of kleinville or the town of kleinville the eerie town of kleinville
and to our characters getting spookier by the minute if there's a lot happening in kleinville
not what i expected me either but uh i guess we'll have to wait until next time to find out what uh
what goes on so we'll uh see you next next next next next tuesday next tuesday
so
tales from the crypt podcast is recorded in the wolfbeard game studio in upstate new york
if you've enjoyed hanging out with us please subscribe on whichever platform you listen to
if you really like us also leave us a review it's very helpful if you want to follow us more you can
find us on instagram at tales from the crypt podcast we've enjoyed our time with you today
and we look forward to seeing you next time at tales from the crypt
so
you saved the cheerleader save the world no it's supposed to be
we gotta go it's the junkyard dogs why did they put him in this house
i guess this is where the junkyard dogs live
oh
fuzz you gotta run we got them right behind us run let's get on that horse
this is a clip at the end this minute
welcome back to tales from the crypt we are continuing
yes
we're trying to sound like a robot no did it come out of it i don't know welcome to the podcast
yeah all right we'll try that again with a little less flair this time i guess