Let's do this.
Oh, so welcome back from Ohio.
Thank you.
How was it?
I'm happy to be back.
I know you are, man.
I know you are.
So last we spoke, you were talking.
You enjoy your steak.
I enjoyed my.
Oh, yeah, I had a steak.
I had all that.
Listen, I got a wagyu fillet.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, hard, hard on your own.
Did.
And I'll tell you what I said.
I was sitting up at the bar by myself, surrounded by a bunch of men.
Right.
And they were just like, totally admiring that you were just on your own.
No, my steak.
Oh, OK.
You know, we have like probably the best of the best.
They were probably like, good for her.
That was a fantastic piece of steak that I had.
Yeah.
And they were up there having a little appetizers.
And then I'm there by myself.
I'm like, give me this.
Give me this.
And be that wagyu.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
So you I'm glad you did that.
So it gave us this idea, which is why we have a guest today.
This is our good friend, Leanne.
Say hi, Leanne.
Hi, Leanne.
So we Leanne is single.
OK.
And we were talking on our last episode, Leanne, about how
what are you doing?
Dear God, she can't get in the zone.
I'm always in the zone.
I'm zoning.
Anyways, we were talking about how you like what do single
doesn't make you sad when you're when you're single on Valentine's Day.
Right.
And so I was like, well, let's talk about love this month of February.
And so we're bringing Leanne in from a perspective of like some online dating
shit.
And so tell us a little bit about yourself, Leanne.
Wow.
Sell the crowd.
Nothing like putting her on the spot.
Good Lord.
Thanks for the pre-list of questions.
I should have requested that in the contract.
I should not agree to anything with you.
OK, I can fill them in.
You can tell them.
You want me to read my profile?
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
What dating apps are you on?
Let's just go into it.
So my current profile, the only thing it says is I am pretty awesome.
OK.
I decided, you know, these motherfuckers don't read it.
Like, they don't.
So you're so right.
Like as women, you know we're reading them bios.
Right.
But you're right.
I think it's the men.
I swear they don't.
Because I'm like, they'll ask questions and they don't know.
I'm like, that was in my bio.
Right.
So I deleted the old one and, you know, started a new one and.
And kept it simple.
I like it short.
Hold up.
OK.
I want to know if I'm the only petty one here, because, you know,
I'm done online dating a time or two.
And I know that when you delete a profile and create a new one,
like you lose all your matches.
Right.
So there have been times where I would have recreated because like I got off
and I got back on and the dudes that I had been talking to were back on there.
Like they never came off.
I don't understand.
Like, I think it's to me, it's a thing.
Like if you meet somebody on a dating app, like if you're going to try to do
something or not, like usually you both come off the dating app.
Oh, OK.
You know what I mean?
Like, pause it so nobody else can see it and like nobody new can match with you.
Whatever.
Oh, so the guy you're chatting off the dating app with.
Yes.
Is still on there active.
Yes.
Oh, so are you.
Right.
But usually by the time I reinstall it, by the time I reinstall it,
I already know I'm going to be sticking a fork in that thing anyway.
So obviously he can fill that.
Well, this leads me to a very good point.
Or maybe he's just used to being ditched and he just keeps it there.
Exactly.
You know?
There are all sorts of problems.
The only way you can be upset, I feel, is if you had a committed talk.
I agree.
That is the newest trend of 2023.
I did a little research.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
So the newest trend of 2023 is called guard railing.
And it's all about how you set the boundaries and the expectations from the jump.
So if you want to know why the hell they're on it, you say, hey, I put my I redid mine
and saw you were on there.
Might sound petty, but like to be authentically you.
That's 100 percent me this year.
Like, I mean, so it says like it's all about.
I don't get many second dates.
Right.
They're like, if you are not super clear on your expectations, no, there's a I'm sure
there's a balance like there is to everything in life.
But for the most part, like, ugh, so guard railing is what you failed to do, Jonna.
I know.
But I like in hindsight, looking back, I'm like, that is like one of the most important
things is setting boundaries upfront.
Like, you can even put on those stupid profile pages what your intentions are.
And so many times it kind of piss me off because like somebody would say they have long term
as their relationship goal.
And yet their real intention is just, you know, casual.
Right.
They know good and well, they only want casual.
But they say long term to bait the good ones in.
They be bread crumb in you.
Yeah.
Look, I got a whole list of terms.
Claire's got a whole new bread crumming.
It means Cindy flirty stuff to see if they are interested.
That's all they was doing.
Right.
No, that's not, that's not the same because he's saying she's saying he's saying he's
one commitment when he's not really you're saying he's kitten fishing you.
Kitten fishing.
Okay.
So kitten fishing is when you use big filters.
Okay.
Like the filters on your face.
It's when you say that your job is more important than what it is.
So like if you're a mailman, you say you're a postmaster.
When you're looking for a quick bang.
So that would be kitten fishing.
I cannot believe you just reeled in another one of your ridiculous.
Yeah, I got more for you.
I got more for you.
Did you spend all afternoon on Urban Dictionary?
No, I wanted to like bring something to the conversation because I think it for I mean
you are boot up now, right?
You know it.
But you had this like epiphany and I think you're having it too.
And like I can see you on the verge of it.
So why not talk about real ass subjects like the terms that people are freaking using for
this shit.
Every this is insane.
This is so complicated.
When was dating not just will you like we fucking around.
Yes or no.
You want to bang me after school.
Yes or no.
Like they want a serious relationship.
But the first thing they do is send y'all a dick pic.
What?
That was the first red flag.
Well, shouldn't it be?
I mean, I don't know.
It depends on your priorities.
Yeah, let's back up.
Maybe it shouldn't be the first thing.
Right.
Like Merry Christmas.
Unless you're looking for cash.
If you're looking for cash, why not?
Yeah, absolutely.
So, Leanne, what do you look for on you mentioned earlier that you have a very simple profile.
What do you take time to read the guys profiles or no.
So I have a filter that I go through.
Okay.
You develop a process over time.
I'm sorry.
Like there are certain things like I'm not even going to bother fucking reading it if
like these other things are not in that.
Okay.
I think that's good.
That's immediately guard railing yourself.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just knowing what I want.
Yeah.
Johnny, you said you had the same thing too.
You have like a list of three.
If he appears to be someone that's on drugs or is only looking to bang or has children,
a little ass kid.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
So done raising kids.
Next.
Right.
Yeah.
So you have, do you have, so how many do you have?
Because at one point, Jonna, didn't you have like 30?
Like I don't have it listed like she does.
We talked about me doing that.
I literally wrote my list and folded it and put it in the window.
I am Lord Jesus, please come down.
Maybe you can write your list and put it in a window like Jonna did.
Maybe it'll work.
The cupid will come by.
No.
So, so you look at the criteria, everything else you don't really care about.
Well, I mean, then I, you know, I make sure that he meets the criteria and like, does
he come across as like someone I'd even be interested in just by his photos that he puts
out there, you know?
Well that is an interesting thing because the other trend that's really popular in 2023
is called open casting.
And it means you step outside of your box.
So maybe you like his profile, but not his picture.
You give him a go.
Well, and I do, I do give him the benefit of a doubt because, you know, some people
do not photo well.
I don't really think I photo well without a little bit of editing.
Can I tell you that I have actually done that?
I did that before that was a word.
Open casted?
Yeah.
We know.
And what ended up happening was I felt like a BI yacht because I knew all along that that
wasn't what I was looking for.
And they were so fricking nice.
And I just had to like end it because I'm like, I can't really get past this thing.
Yeah.
But there's a, like, there's a guy who was like the way he held his neck was ugly.
He was so nice.
But his neck was so ugly.
So I dumped him.
So that I always feel like a shallow asshole.
So it's not good for my mental health.
What about you, Leanne?
How is your, you have been open casting lately.
How has that been going?
Tell us because you went on some open casts recently.
We'll not talk about the most active one.
Right, right.
The other one you basically said what she did.
Right.
And you were just like, I can't.
Yeah, yeah.
It was way outside my comfort zone.
Right.
Like I thought, well, you know, I like, you know, what's that show with the smart guys?
Big Bang Theory.
Yeah, I love that show.
You know, like maybe I could like a geek.
You know, let me check out the nerdy guys, see what they're like.
And you're like, absolutely not.
And then I was like, oh, this is so not for me.
I need like a man.
For real.
I need you to be more manly.
Right.
Oh, damn.
Why is it sad that I know exactly what you're talking about?
Seriously, because it's a whole life culture.
And please don't let me know more about how to do something than you like, man, like,
you know.
He was getting kitten fish.
I knew that right away when you showed me that picture.
Kitten fish.
Yeah.
He, she, she was trying, he was trying to get him a kitten.
He tried.
She was like, nope.
I was like, he does not own that business.
He lying.
Yeah.
I ain't never even heard of it.
It's okay.
Anyways, so when do you decide?
So what is like your go to?
Do you wait for them to approach you or do you approach them?
So as far as where do I go to swipe?
I look at the ones that liked me.
Okay.
I, and until I run out of those, like if I have a late night.
I'll go to the others.
This little do.
Well, I mean, you know, I shopped the ones that liked me first.
Okay.
And wait, isn't there, isn't that the premier plan on Tinder?
Oh, no.
I don't know nothing about Tinder.
I quit, I quit paying for them.
So currently I'm just using that basic ass Facebook shit.
Oh, hell nah.
It's fun.
Yeah.
She's real fun.
It's comical as hell.
Yeah.
Like what else are you going to do?
Oh, you get some good ones.
Don't I?
I was sent you guys a picture.
You have sent me some really good pictures.
She had a guy the other day who was laying on his, on his motorcycle with this cowboy
hat like tilted like this.
And so we're on this group chat with Annie and Mandy and Annie says, dare you to go outside
and do reenact it.
Oh my gosh.
And then seconds, seconds Leanne's out there on her motorcycle with her, with the cowboy
hat.
I sure was.
And like, how do you, how do, how do men, what advice would you give men about their
profile?
Please let me speak up.
Yes.
Okay.
First of all, the ugliest angle you could ever take your picture is with it underneath
your chin.
Yeah.
Do not do that looking down and then like having the most blank look on your face.
Like you're not even trying to smile or you look mean or mad.
Okay.
Ew, don't do that.
Like I don't want to see the mean guy.
I want to see like the happy guy.
It's going to make me happy.
Yeah.
Why do I want to look scared to you?
Yeah.
But then wouldn't there be the guys who are like cheesy happy?
So you have to find a balance.
Maybe ask a friend.
There's some that can go over the top with him pictures.
More natural photos.
Right.
What about the photos where they like obviously like scribbled out their X way for their X
or X.
Oh my God.
I've seen those.
Or I'm sorry, group photos in general, because it's really annoying to go, well, which one
is he?
Well, don't you think it's the ugliest one?
So the group, okay, so correct me if I'm wrong, but the group photo picture should be the
second picture they go to.
Oh.
The first one should be that.
Or the bottom.
The bottom.
If you're going to put it in there, put it at the bottom.
So you know, I'm dating and you don't have your...
I'm cool with knowing you have friends.
Yeah.
I like to know that you have friends.
Yeah.
It's weird to me if you don't have people.
Okay, so put it on like the fourth or fifth picture.
Like the last picture.
I'm good with.
Yeah.
But that way people know really what your face is by the time you get to the group photo.
Right.
All right.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
So number one is do not take a picture below your chin.
Well, just take a picture that looks nice and it's not like that angle.
Okay.
Lift your phone up.
Why do they always want to do it down?
I don't know.
They're looking down at the phone.
Do the opposite of that.
And no kitten fishing.
If you're 60, do not put your 45 year old picture.
Yeah.
Please use recent photos.
Like please don't like, you know, dot...
You used to dye your hair and then like...
And now your balls.
No.
And then now you quit dyeing your hair.
And like you show up in your like solid gray and you're like, who the fuck are you?
Are you his dad?
Right.
You would have been okay with the solid gray.
I would have been.
I totally would have been had I known what I was expecting.
Right.
Exactly.
That's good one.
What else should they not put on their profile?
Oh my God.
Please if you show your whole head.
Like I'm okay with knowing your bald, but I want to know what I'm going to see.
Yeah.
Like I'm...
If you're receding, rock it.
Rock it.
Let me know it's coming.
Yeah.
You got mail pattern, but I need to know what kind of bald spots I'm working with.
Like don't leave me much to question.
Right.
Like I want to know what I'm getting into.
What do you think ghost Brad from man, silent Brad's joining us over here cracking up from
a man's perspective, do you have any idea what goes through a man's head when he does
profile pictures like that?
I don't.
I don't either.
Like really unbecoming pictures.
Don't you know when you look ugly?
I think you should.
I feel like you should, but I've seen some pretty garbage looking profiles.
For real.
Like this one guy had like dirty ass kids.
This whole dirty family in their dirty house.
Why did you like my profile?
That's so horrific.
Look at my face.
Oh, y'all done lost it.
Oh, no.
We lost it.
That is crazy.
That is like going, taking a selfie in the bathroom and not making sure that the shit
in the toilet.
It's like having dildo and everything y'all on the counter.
For instance, I would rather see your dildo out on the counter than see your dirty ass
family.
Keep those last gremlins to yourself.
Don't nobody want those.
Those would be the red flags then right?
Like there are there any other ones?
How should you approach a woman, Brad, when you were online dating?
Because he was before he met me.
Oh, shit.
Bumble Brad.
Yeah, Bumble Brad.
All them honeys wanted to pay for that.
I was old.
I did that.
I was like, no, I'm good player.
I did that old ass app.
That match.
Oh, my gosh.
He's so sweet.
Of course he was a match.
He's taking bitches to Vegas.
Hey, listen, I was on that match back in the old days too.
It is still the number one app that people actually meet their Pearson.
Okay.
You have to pay for it.
So you got to be kind of serious about it.
Yeah, you got to pay for that pussy.
How much is it?
Like $15 a month or something?
Something like that.
I don't remember.
You could give it two months.
I mean, it's not crazy expensive.
Usually they make you either do one month, three months, six months.
Oh, well, you ain't got 30 bucks.
You ain't got 30 bucks.
Oh, well, you ain't got 30 bucks.
How long you plan on being single?
You can put it on pause.
You're setting the standard.
No, that's probably the average it takes to meet somebody is three months.
Or realize if you like somebody or not, because when I was doing my little date and shit whenever,
it was literally amazing if we made it to 45 days.
Usually it was around the 35th to 40th day.
It was Splitsville.
Right.
So like 45 days was like a big deal to me.
She was giving them balloons and happy anniversary gifts.
She did some shit like that.
We made it to seven days, baby.
You want to move in.
Love.
Okay.
What was the question I asked you about your dating online with Match?
Come on.
It was a good one.
You asked him what he was looking for or something.
What was your red flags?
Or what did I ask?
You remember?
No, I don't remember.
You're like from a man's perspective.
I thought I answered it.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
He said I thought I answered it.
I think he did.
Did he?
He might have.
I'm trying to get better at going back to the original question.
When you're editing this, you'll figure it out.
Yeah, I will.
Yeah, because I just got totally lost in that maze of conversation.
I'm just saying where we just come from.
Brad was taking bitches to Las Vegas though.
What?
You took a hold of Las Vegas?
Yeah, he did.
Snaggletooth McGee.
I remember you, Laurie.
I see your pictures.
Did that just call some girls Snaggletooth?
No, his boys called him her Snaggletooth, actually.
His boys were like, oh, when they met me, they said, oh, you're not Snaggletooth anymore.
Oh my gosh.
Nope, it's me now.
So when do you decide, oh, no, no, no.
What was your lead in, Brad?
When you would approach a woman on match, what was your lead in?
I'm curious.
And Leanne, Jonna, I want to know what your funniest lead ends you've gotten.
Like I can remember.
Yes, you can.
Shoot, I don't think I even remember, but I'm sure it was probably like this.
Hello.
You know, that's exactly what you were saying.
Yeah, I didn't.
Not hi, not hey.
I didn't try to use no lines or nothing.
I'm not that type of person.
So would it attract you if you got one word message that said hello?
Oh, I'd be pissed off.
Me too.
I would be like, like, all you got for me is hello.
That's it.
I don't remember being a problem.
Beautiful.
He said, I don't.
I got a response usually every time.
Yeah.
I had his little dimples out.
Exactly.
He's so handsome.
He was wearing shorts.
He was probably carrying his ring with his little shirt wrapped up in it.
You know.
Cabana boy.
Cabana Brad.
Thirst trap.
But he was like, yeah.
OK, so that's another good advice.
Don't lead with just hello.
Yeah, just be like.
Unless you got a good profile picture.
You get away with a lot more when you're pretty.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Damn.
Johnny used to get dick pics less left and right.
And we realized that was because of your meme sharing.
Right.
Don't you agree?
I feel like my level of memes would be surprised though.
It gets misunderstood.
I don't understand that.
People think all of a sudden it's a green light to be all creepy and weird.
OK, just because I have a creepy and weird sense of humor does not mean I want you to
be creepy and weird to me.
Right.
Just because I wear a mini skirt doesn't mean when I have sex with you.
OK.
What do you think, Leigh Ann?
I think it definitely opens up the door for it.
Well, no, that's what she realized.
I don't share it unless I want them to respond in a creepy and.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So I mean, if that's what your goal is.
So what's your experience then, Leigh Ann?
Do you get dick pics without asking?
Most certainly.
OK.
So it doesn't matter, really.
I mean, it just depends on the kind of guy it is.
I mean, do you ever ask for him?
Just wondering.
For a friend.
For my friend wants to know.
One time I may or may not have been under the influence.
I may or may not have asked for a specific video and got it in return.
Dang.
Dude, because of TikTok.
Oh, what's that?
What is it?
Is it a TikTok trend?
There was something about.
No, there was a TikTok I've seen that's something about people asking for cum shots.
And I was like, I never had anybody ask me for that or ask anyone for that.
So I kind of just did it.
And I got one back.
I was like, well, that's cool.
That was interesting.
I'm not going to lie.
It was hotter than I expected.
Good.
It didn't.
There's a lot of times I'll listen to myself on here and I'm like, what the hell was I
even talking about?
And I know when Brad and Johnna think that same thing, because this is what Johnna does.
Yeah.
I have learned so much about myself doing this podcast.
Oh, man.
Okay.
So when do you decide when it's time to go on a date?
Well, for me, I always request 100% of the time you and I are going to video chat.
Yo, we're going to get to the video chat, like willingness to video chat, just to make
sure that like Leigh Ann said, you're not, you know, looking some kind of crazy way.
That's a good idea.
Catfishing somebody.
And so, yeah, so I always FaceTime them first.
I bet it's hard in this day and age though, too, because people are so used to texting.
Do you ever get people who call and then you're probably freaked out like, why the fuck are
you calling me?
Yeah, I've heard the excuse.
Okay, listen, every time I'm told, oh, I don't really like video chatting, video chatting
is not really my thing.
You're always lead me on in some sort of way.
For real, some troll motherfuckers.
Yeah.
You know, do you do that?
Leigh Ann?
Do you have a rule?
I honestly am not a fan of video chatting myself, so I don't request them.
Right.
But you send selfies.
I mean, I have, but yeah, I'm more about I want to get it.
I want to get a good current selfie and we can talk on the phone and and then, you know,
we're going to meet somewhere.
But my first meeting is almost always something short.
I don't want to go to dinner.
Yeah.
It's something I can dip out on if I want.
Like just go meet for a drink.
Yeah.
And that way you're not committed to sit through a whole meal of food.
Do you follow?
Well, I think you have to listen to your instinct when it comes to your safety.
Don't you?
And you have to be careful what you say.
Yeah, I agree.
Don't mention that you have to go somewhere afterwards and end up with somebody following
you there.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good good advice.
Yeah, it is.
That's what I was gonna say.
I would think that you that's when it's important to like stay sober enough to kind of know
your whereabouts and know the vibe from the person because really our first instinct of
people are usually true.
They're creepy, they're creepy.
You know what I mean?
I think well, I was thinking more like in the instance of the one particular day I had
that followed me to a store afterwards, he invited himself to come along.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And it was cringy.
The whole the whole date was cringy.
I mean, oh, I need to probably get your location when you go on dates.
I mean, he totally lied about his height and then, you know, it is awful for me to say
at five feet.
But I should not be looking a motherfucker in the eye like you told me it was at least
seven inches taller than me.
You could have at least said five three.
But we're eye to eye, bitch.
And then, you know, to make matters worse, he followed me to the hardware store to more
so turn me off.
Yeah, he didn't really know that store well.
I got to lose often.
Right.
She's a do it yourself.
You've had some situations like that too, that you probably don't even like.
I've been in a couple interesting situations that were not ideal, but I'm relatively unscathed.
Do you think you have to just not be afraid to like set to guardrail at first and be like,
look, I might come over to your house, but this isn't happening.
Like would you in retrospect, would you have done anything differently in the situation?
Number one and ever, ever, ever go to a dude's house for the first time you're meeting him.
Yeah, for one.
Right.
You know, I treat everybody like they're going to try to human traffic me and harvest my
organs like until I figure them out.
Like that's the status that they're on.
Like that's their main objective.
Yeah.
In my head.
You have to do, the world is weird.
Right.
But I admittedly have totally ignored my own rules in the way of saying, well, I'd rather
go do something fun.
Yeah.
All right.
You know, let's meet up with this guy and go ride bikes together.
And then later on figure out that, well, he's an ex con and you probably shouldn't have
like been hanging out with him or invited him back to your house afterwards.
Cause you guys were drinking a lot.
Oh, don't go, you know, Hey, I wouldn't be a smart single person.
I wasn't a smart single person.
I just lucked out when it came to Brad, like finding him for real.
I'm like, I just did.
I'd be like off somewhere.
It would be bad for real.
I'd be skiing or something in the corner by yourself.
Nevermind.
Were you talking about jerking off two dudes at the same time?
What?
I missed that little thing.
Why do I keep laughing like that?
I was going like this.
Boy, I really thought you meant skiing.
Yeah.
Like I'm a skier.
Okay.
Like for fuck's sake, have you seen me ski anything?
I drink ski.
I just drink it at my grandma's house.
I've never seen a slope.
Brad, if you weren't in Claire's life, she'd be whacking two dudes off at the same time.
I saw an old friend from high school.
So you know what I, do you know what I said to him?
He was like, yeah, I was really short back in the day, but he goes, I should have taken
it from the girls when I could have gotten it or something like that.
And I was like, it's okay.
And I'm trying to make him feel better.
I'm like, it's okay.
I should have taken it less.
And then I just stood there awkwardly like, and then I was like, I know exactly how awkward
that moment was.
It was dude.
I had so many awkward times that night where I was like, what in the freaking sober am
I doing?
Like I would like, oh, that's a whole.
No, I have none.
I'm like, I am the weirdest person ever, but I'm just going to embrace it.
So thank God again that I looked out onto B Rad.
You're a lucky man, babe, because Lord knows.
You won the prize.
Cause I would not know what the hell to do with myself.
What did I say when we met?
Just don't know.
No, when we met, uh, your sister-in-law at the time introduced us on the dance floor
because I had told her she was pretty in the bathroom.
And then she finds Brad and says, you know, you know what happened, babe?
You should put your time.
I don't know what I said.
I think she was like, this is Brad and he wants to dance and Brad, this is the nice
girl from the bathroom.
And I was like, Hey, and then we just like, and then Brad said, hello.
He probably didn't say shit.
He probably did.
Hello.
That's exactly what happened actually.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
I think, I don't know.
When I look back at the timeline of that, actually, it was only 39 minutes that I had
after I had met you.
Cause I took a picture of all of us in there.
39 minutes later, I'm hanging on this dude like kissing his face.
So damn.
So that hello, apparently, apparently if you have a nice face, you can just say hello.
Anyways, what else?
Wait a second.
Were you guys that disgusting couple that's just like making out hardcore and nobody else
like everybody else is there to see it?
Dude, I knew it.
It is so gross when I think about the night we met, like for real is gross.
It was, it was cringe worthy.
I was drinking out of, I brought a fifth of fireball and had it in my satchel.
And instead of like hiding it, I would just take the satchel up to my mouth like this
as I'm talking to Brad.
I was not at a good place.
I'm glad to have this woman.
This one right here with the fucking fireball in her purse.
I said, do you want to saw it?
And he's like, I could just buy it.
We were all buying drinks and her whole crew were all carrying, carrying fireball with
them in different containers.
Hey, I was going through a divorce.
Okay.
I was on a budget that night.
I was like, we'll just get something that's cold.
You totally do.
That's probably when I started making out with you.
Actually, I was probably like, okay, he got money.
He reached Danny.
He's buying my fireball.
He's got a Columbia fleece to hide around his waist like a tourist.
And he's offering cold drinks.
Sign me up.
Do you think authentically meeting people like that is a thing?
Very rare.
I mean, often.
I feel like it has to be rare.
You think it's just rare?
I think it's very rare.
I do.
Do you think 10, 15 years ago, it wasn't rare, but I guess there wasn't the apps and then
Corona virus didn't hit where it made everybody even more.
Yeah, it made it way worse.
Although I will tell you, I had one of those moments and I ended up with my oldest son.
What moments?
Corona virus?
I'm so lost.
My mind went the wrong way.
What?
In the fuck?
Epidaphile?
What is going on?
He's a bitch.
He's my strong boy.
No, we were literally just talking about how rare you and Brad's connection was.
We were literally just talking about that.
And so what I said is that I had a connection like that, like an immediate one.
It's like as soon as we met, it was just like an explosion.
Yes, that's Nick's dad.
Oh, do you think you would still feel that way?
No.
Obvious.
No, I would not.
So you mean you did it on the first night?
Well, we didn't do it on the first night, but we just had a seer, like an immediate
deep connection.
It felt like I had known him my whole life.
That was how it was when I met Tony.
Yeah.
So we exchanged phone numbers that night.
And then the next night, and this should have been my first red flag, but you know, I was
stupid.
So we meet the next night.
Okay.
And we meet at the same club.
And why is he wearing the exact same shirt, but in a different color?
That's weird.
No, is it?
It was literally Abercrombie.
Yeah, that's really weird.
It was an Abercrombie red t-shirt.
I'm going to say Abercrombie across the front.
That was your red flag.
This was 2003.
Oh, okay.
You know what I mean?
And so then the next day it was the literal exact same cut, exact same print, everything,
except it was a navy blue shirt.
You like that?
Yeah.
And I was like, that's kind of weird.
That was two for 25.
Maybe they had them on sale.
You buy two for a certain year.
Old color pack.
Or at least wear a different shirt the next day you're going to see me.
Those were his two best shirts.
He just bought them.
It might have been one of those Ross Dress for Less five packs.
Ross Dress for Less.
They didn't sell no Abercrombie there.
Oh, there's some more five packs.
They did.
Do you say Abercrombie?
Yeah, it was an Abercrombie shirt.
Or Air Apostle, because that would make a difference too.
Like two for 40.
Yeah.
I mean two for 50 or was it two for 25?
It's the Abercrombie.
And all of his jeans came from the buckle.
He was a special boy.
Oh Lord.
Yep.
That's your second weird thing.
There's sparkles on it.
Buckle, buckle.
Yeah.
But that was my connection.
Lansman wouldn't have ever been seen with buckle pants on.
Yeah, I'm not into the buckle pants.
But since you're open casting, if he had all the other things, right?
I mean, trust me, I'd made some.
She's such a bitch.
Are you doing that on purpose?
She definitely is.
Dude.
She's over there.
With her 90s pound cut.
She's got her 90s pound cut.
I completely forgot.
I really did.
Like I don't have to edit your t's out enough.
Why don't you go ahead and edit.
I barely mentioned that.
My mouth's too dry to smack.
I'm sorry.
So you could do the buckle jeans.
I don't know.
I mean, how many sparkles are we talking?
Like I'm really not into sparkly jeans.
He's more like rhinestones.
Yeah, I'm not into that.
Oh yeah, bedazzled.
I mean, did you remember like the affliction stuff?
I don't.
Because I have some people that still wear that shit.
I'd probably accidentally fuck him up in the washer or something.
I definitely hid a pair of somebody's pants for a long time.
Ooh, I have a good thing.
If you like a girl and you creep her on Facebook and see who her exes were and what kind of
style they had.
That's kind of creepy.
That's some deep, like you dig so deep.
That was like a red flag.
I know.
As a detective, like if you don't need to know anything, Claire's your person.
You dig so deep.
Like that was a simple process in your head, but everybody else is like, what the fuck is
she talking about?
Like that's deep digging.
Have you ever been guest fed?
A million times.
Let me tell you some of the reasons I've been ghosted.
Do it.
Tell us.
One is a guy that he sent me a picture of himself, selfie.
And his eye, he had one eye that was swollen and one that was normal.
He obviously had like pink eye.
And so I sent him a text back in response to his picture.
Ouch, that looks painful.
Don't you know you're supposed to wash your hands before you finger blast your asshole.
And then he proceeded to, our conversations were blue and then they went green and I never
heard from him again.
I really love that guy too.
How long had you been talking to him before you made that comment?
Well, that's an even funnier story.
Like was this a first or second comment or?
No, no, it was not.
No, we had already spent, I brought him out here.
I remember.
I brought him out here.
We went on a boat ride.
They had a lovely time.
We all liked him.
And he didn't know your sense of humor by then?
He knew my sense of humor.
We would make jokes all the time.
Then why would that make him ghost you?
Because I think he really did finger blast his asshole.
Oh, okay.
Or I mean.
Did he give that kind of vibe?
I don't know.
There's some weird ones out there.
She kind of has a type for men who would like their finger banged asshole.
Okay.
People are having some weird shit.
Yeah.
And a lot of people have been exploring their butt holes lately.
So I think rap music has normalized.
Manila Green.
What?
Was it rap music?
It was rap music.
That rap music.
It was a particular song that was pivoting for that?
It wanted everybody to have truffle butter.
Yeah.
Truffle butter.
That's what truffle butter was and then Lil Wayne started thinking about it.
Now everybody knows what truffle butter is.
Because of Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj, right?
That's what he's saying, right?
I'm not going to lie.
I first heard that they had a song about truffle butter.
Oh yeah.
There's something about it.
I probably only knew because of Jonna.
I'm sure your husband probably likes that song too.
Do you?
I know it, yeah.
Yeah, he does.
Sorry, man.
Yeah, he does.
But they talk about, Nicki Minaj always talks about eating ash and sodas.
The other one, Cardi.
Well, good for them.
Butt holes and stuff.
And I think that that has normalized it more to where people are more open about talking
about butt hole stuff.
Yeah, probably.
That's our deep, deep part of the conversation today.
Have you ever ghosted anyone?
Me?
Yeah.
Definitely.
In retrospect, would you continue to do that?
Because why?
I don't do it intentionally.
The conversation just dries off.
Am I supposed to tell every guy that I said hi to that, hey, I decided not to say hi anymore?
If he came to you and said why, would you at least?
Yeah, 100%.
Or if we've been on dates, I guess if we've been on a couple dates, then no, I would feel
like I would owe him a hey, just not feeling it.
Right, bye.
But ghosting in the way we've been chatting, but we haven't met, no.
I think for me, if I'm chatting with somebody and we've just been chatting for a couple
days and we never actually met and they ghost me, I'm like, well, whatever.
No one bites the dust.
But if we've actually met face to face and we're on the same page allegedly and then
all of a sudden you ghost me, I'll be salty.
What about the submariners?
What's that?
Oh, you don't know?
No.
How does the married one know all the terms?
She Googled it.
So it's also referred to as paper clipping, but they're the people who ghost you and then
they come back.
Oh, hell no.
And they act like they never did anything wrong.
Or they match with you again.
Yeah.
I have a guy that's done that to me and I admittedly have pretended to be interested
back a couple of times.
Well, you can be.
To continually do it because I didn't like how it felt when he did it to me.
And so I'm petty and I keep, oh, you want to come back?
Okay, I'll reel you in.
Right.
And it entertains you.
Tease you with a few lines, but you're not going to get another photo of me.
You're not going to, we're not going to actually commit to anything.
Right.
Like I'm kind of over it.
Yeah.
You know, you probably shouldn't have let me know it was that small early on.
And he was the same guy who he was the only plans guy, right?
Another term.
And then I'm like, what's the only fans guy?
He was the only plans guy.
Oh, only plans guy.
So what's the only plans?
Someone who plans like planet and he then he's like, Oh, I broke my foot.
Oh, my mom came over with dinner.
He never ever like he just, he never, he planned and executed the first two.
Okay.
And then after that, it was more of, um, never really like we should do this, but never like
this weekend or a date.
I tell my friend that all the time he does the bread crumbing thing.
I know he does.
He breadcrumbs.
He's like, well, we were supposed to, and I'm like, did you give her a date?
Did you say, Hey, does this date work?
Yeah, no, I'm not going to chase after girls like to be chased after boys.
Not game playing, but just want to be told.
Do you want to?
Right.
Please.
It's nice to take the guesswork out of it.
I mean, let me know I'm interested, pursue me.
Right.
Cause you guys have both had the heat domain.
What the hell?
Where does that?
You guys have both had heat domers.
What's that?
This is the, when someone dates you specifically to enjoy what you have around your home, what
you have, like for instance, a comfy mattress or hot water, maybe you have a pool or a gym
or a motorcycle.
What the hell is that called?
A heat domer.
It's called heat doming.
Oh my gosh.
But for real, we know somebody who fell in love with a heat dormer.
We know a few people who did.
What are you talking about?
Who are you talking about?
Well, you're a heat, you were a heat Domi.
Oh, we had a heat.
We know a for real heat domer, domer in Kokomo, Indiana.
Oh my gosh.
So, you know, I know.
And if I see you dating one of my friends, motherfucker, there's two of them.
I know two heat domers.
I will bless, bust you out.
I will not be nice to you.
That's right.
Period.
Who's the other one?
But yep.
Okay.
The damn domers.
Yeah, because those are the ones who are always like, the heat domers are the ones who want
to take you on inflidates.
You know what I mean?
Oh my God.
They're like, they're like, they come on.
They are.
They're the ones who come on the strongest.
Like they are.
They want to hit all the like good things.
Yeah, they're, they're gonna, they're gonna do the research.
Just because they can talk to you.
Yeah.
Well, they have something to gain.
Yeah.
Well, absolutely.
They need a mom, apparently.
I mean, geez.
Did I heat dome you baby?
No, I moved up here.
No, he moved his ass up here.
He heat domed me.
Then he paid the bills though.
Yeah.
The inflidating.
Have you heard of that?
Okay.
Let me guess what it is.
Okay.
Let me get, cause is it when you just want to go on a date so you can take a good Instagram
picture?
No.
Infl.
I have no idea.
Like you're inflating your...
Apparently it's the new term that millennials are going to use or Gen X or what are we?
Millennials.
And the next one's Gen X, right?
Or are we Gen X and they're millennials?
I don't really know.
I'm just borderline millennial.
Okay.
Then we all are borderline.
So the older ones are Gen X.
The younger ones.
No.
The older ones are Gen X.
Those are like some other generation.
You are definitely a millennial cause you're going to be.
Gen Z.
Gen Z is the new ones.
Like our kids.
That's okay.
Okay.
All right.
Got you.
Our kids are Gen Z.
So they're calling inflated dates because inflation.
So they're trying to like take you on like cheaper dates.
Oh damn.
Like picnics or like borrow, like pick you up on a bike.
Here's...
We're simple people anyways.
I am and I always feel bad.
That's why I want to go just to the bar and have a drink and talk and figure out if I
actually like you.
Then after that, we're going to do some fun shit and you're going to probably have to
pay for it.
Right.
Ooh.
What do you do on that?
What?
Do you end up paying for your own dates?
I have done a couple just to be.
I won't judge.
I'm just curious.
I have intentionally bought my own to put across a message a couple of times.
Yes.
What about you?
Brad, does that send that message to the men or no?
Or just like...
I mean, some, I don't know.
I always paid for it.
If I'm into them, I'll let them pay.
That was part of it.
There's so many rules.
But if I'm not real sure and like I'm just going to get this drink, I'll like go ahead
and give my card and pay for it and be like, we're just friends right now.
Yeah.
Okay.
That makes sense to me.
Like, okay, thanks for the casual date.
We could hang out again sometime.
Yeah, because then it does take away that awkward moment when the bill comes.
What about you?
Did you ever get stuck paying for a date?
Hell no.
By the end of my adventures of dating, my intention of going out with people was for
a relationship.
Right.
Regardless of what their goals were.
They was going to love me.
I had my goal and so I always let them pay.
Yeah.
Shows them that you are prepared for something serious too.
It's not like a casual thing.
Some guys look at it kind of like it's slap in the face if you.
Right.
Because maybe by date two or three, you could offer to pay for theirs.
Maybe.
You know what I mean?
Would you do that?
Yeah.
If we're meeting pretty frequently, I'll offer to split.
Right.
Split a date or whatever.
Because of the inflation.
That adds up.
Yeah, probably.
I mean, it does.
Going out adds up.
It does add up, but that's because you're a wonder lover.
How much better off is he financially though?
Because I mean, he's better off.
Not that I'm scoring any dudes that are better off financially.
Because I'm not.
Let's just make that clear.
I don't know where they're hiding at.
For real.
They're hiding on match.
They're hiding on match, bro.
Go ahead and get you some e-harmony.
No, but you're a wonder lover.
I know.
She won't stop.
Somebody take that paper from her.
Nope.
Not going to happen.
Dating someone not in your area.
You didn't do that very often, right, Jonna?
No, I really didn't.
It's really hard to find someone to swipe right on in Pokemon.
Yeah, I know.
It's really hard.
Because they all know somebody.
Yeah, especially because you're talking to everybody.
What's your max?
Because don't you have a three hour radius?
No.
I would prefer them to be around here.
Around an hour.
At least.
I would prefer not more than an hour.
But I have, obviously, about an hour and 45 minutes a few times.
That's just too much.
That's a lot.
It is, but you're also not.
I have the ability to go.
That's what I was going to say.
I can go away for the weekend.
Right.
Why not?
And if they can too, then it should work.
Well, you would probably know almost immediately if you spend the weekend with somebody if it's
going to be a thing or not.
Oh yeah, it definitely helps you learn everything about them in the past.
Really quickly, I'm sure.
Because by Sunday you're like, oh, I'm going to kill this motherfucker.
Okay yeah.
I like that you're clean, but oh my fucking god.
Right.
Like you're wearing me out.
Can we sit down?
Can we sit down and do nothing for a minute?
Yeah, I don't know.
The dating world is crazy.
I think, I think, I mean, it's entertaining.
It's entertaining when it's you guys.
I haven't had to do it in a while.
The stories, I feel like my dating horror stories are always uncomfortable in the moment,
but afterwards I'm like, on the way home, I'm like, I can't wait to tell the girls.
It's a horrific date I just had.
Right, because what else are you going to be doing?
As long as it's not putting you in a bad state of mind, I think it's okay to, right?
I mean, wouldn't you agree?
As long as you're not letting it affect your mental health.
You have to go through a lot of them to find a good one.
That's the hope, right?
I guess.
But I've definitely slowed down on, like, I won't communicate with more than one at
a time because that gets.
It gets confusing.
Well, I noticed that I don't, it's hard to put focus on if it's going to work, then you
need to put focus on it, right?
Right.
Be intentional about it.
Being intentional because there's nothing more embarrassing than getting somebody confused
with another person.
That too.
For real.
I know you both have done that.
Oh yeah.
And it's happened to me too.
Yeah.
It's happened to me.
Oh yeah, I've definitely received some responses that I was like, I have no fucking clue what
you're talking about.
Yeah, we just talked about that a couple nights ago.
I'm like, yeah, that was definitely not me.
So you know he's just like copy and pasting his conversations.
That's not a good feeling.
A lot of them in the beginning, especially the long ones, I feel like are all copied
and pasted.
Like we have to like check back in.
Maybe you'll be boot up by then.
If anybody's listening and you want your acquiring.
What?
Dear God.
Yeah, you heard it right.
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Please tell me you're kidding.
I did not.
Of course I'm kidding.
She's the dumbest.
My ovaries have fucking rusted out.
They've been pounded too much.
Those thing up in her.
That's my thurbing.
They've been the.
Oh yeah.
Do you even have a cervix?
Probably.
Didn't you have a partial hysterectomy?
Hell no.
Oh, huh.
I just had my tubes like.
Why do I?
Singed.
Tied.
I had them singed and tied and I could smell it.
So I know she really did it.
You could not smell it.
Yes you can.
Really?
I'll give that to my boss.
You can smell it?
Yeah, they see it.
They pull out like a little tube and they burn that shit right now.
I get that.
I get that he did.
But was you awake when they did yours?
Yeah, I had Connor's cesarean.
So while he was in there may as well burn that shit.
Okay, that makes sense.
I was so confused.
Yeah, I was.
I was too.
Because I think if you just go in for that surgery.
Oh, I'm sure they would knock you out.
I was thinking she was having an out.
I was like, what the hell?
Who singed you?
They did it wrong.
Obviously they did something right.
I haven't had any more kids.
Oh, thank you, Lord.
Don't you let her un-sing those things.
Trust me, I am trying to have no more kids.
We already have enough between the two of us.
I know.
He got little ones, Sony.
I know.
That's pretty good.
I'm going to go ahead and put this on my phone.
I will say this coming from somebody and I don't know if this will be helpful to you or not.
I can genuinely say in every relationship that I shouldn't have been in, I knew.
I like I look yeah I really seriously though I like I think that when you feel that way and you if it
you know oh yeah I don't have to know if that I hope he feels that I know you have that feeling
right now. So my point is is you're at the age where why wouldn't you move fast? I don't know.
Yeah what do I got to lose? I mean shit. I mean if it feels right. If it feels right.
Like I would rather be alone than to compromise my feelings for somebody at all. Like maybe she's
just like well they don't really have everything I'm looking for but I'm gonna date them anyway.
Like I'm not doing that shit. Right. So if they aren't 100% so I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna give
you a plug. So if you are interested in this cute chick she is ninja nana on TikTok. Am I right?
Is that the ninja nana? She's cute little blonde about five foot. She owns her own home. Fancy.
She's feisty. She's probably kind of gonna bully you. You'll like it. You'll like it. She's cute.
She's got great friends. Great kids. Oh she's a nana. Her kids are grown. But she ain't nana age.
My kids are not a problem. No hell no your kids are not a problem. They're amazing. The baby daddy
is out of the picture. She's a widow. He gone. He gone. Aw man. See him. This savage is funny.
That would be how you would say it too. I know. I would be like I'm a widow and you two are like
he gone. He gone. They're just as sad but they just do things the right way. Yeah. You propped
us and you handled your grief your way. Yeah. I'm so freaking lately and that's so. So the ninja
nana. What else? I'm not gonna tell you her last name. You can hood us up on broad minded. Yep.
Just slide in our DMs and say who's that hot one girl. Who's the hot ninja nana? So what let's
manifest her ideal guy because remember we did this right before Jonna met her guy. What are your
things they have to have? No like ideal man. Close your eyes. See him. What does he have to offer?
Besides a bearded yoke. I mean besides that I mean that's pretty no. Good job.
Funny. Definitely be financially sound and not need me for that. So handle your shit.
Just don't have a lot of debt and need me to fix it. Right. As long as you're handling your shit
I'll handle my shit. I'll handle mine. I got you. Let's not have that worry in life please.
I was gonna say you have a perfect credit score but then I was like nope you're gonna have those
hot domers coming after your ass if I tell her. I mean my credit score is very nice.
She would like someone who has one as well. I would like to have another excellent person in
the household. Right exactly. At least be very very good. Right right mediocre. Here's what I
found. You know how they have like the crazy hot chart? Oh yes yes. Okay so there should be a chart
like that for like dudes. Yeah. Oh my gosh you guys let's make that we should try that. Okay.
That shit. Okay I'm gonna show you when we're done. I think it lost a lot of it has to be driven by
their penis size. Like the larger smaller the penis. And oh yeah she doesn't know what we're
talking about but I'm gonna show you. It's the crazy scale. It's a video on YouTube where the guy
says you either have to be like I'll just I'll show you. Yeah we'll show you. We'll have to
demonstrate it visually. Yeah so um. But what were we just talking about? About what she needs in a
man. I'm gonna say I'm gonna manifest she needs somebody who will give her shit but not get offended
in her shit. Like like be able to be like hey too far without it being aggressive but also be able
to give it back to her. Right. Well I like to call it you know what the young kids call it being in
your masculine energy. She needs a man in his masculine energy. For sure. But not too masculine.
No. I don't want to gym rat. No. Well that's. I don't mean gym rat by masculine energy. But you're
right. I mean it's the way they carry themselves. Yes have confidence. Yeah. Please have confidence
in yourself. Like if I say oh my god you're so cute please do not be like oh I'm just
not that cute. Do you like compliments? What's your love language? Let's let them know. You know I
like all of those languages. I was very deprived for a long time. Well that's what John and I were
saying. If you come at me with any of them I will like it. At this point just come at me brah.
But number one is touchy-feely which is why I don't touch unless I really like you. Yeah.
And then I'm slow to touch and then once I do touch and I'm like
you're probably gonna be like get the fuck off me. Right.
Man isn't it weird to think of like seriously when you when you think about and this is another thing
but when you think about the habits we've taken into our relationships they started
when we were young. Right. Like even perfection was a thing for me that I thought you had to have.
I didn't know that anything else but it. But that was a thing that you could survive. I don't know.
It's just crazy because that's a whole nother deeper dive. But anyways. But what I was gonna say is we
were talking about that one time about love languages. Remember Johnna because I was like
dude at the end of my marriage my 12 year marriage I was like I don't care what you do. I'll just take
one of them. Right. Like yeah this is what it is but if you can't if you can't give me that that's
okay too. I'll just take one of them. Right. Put a rock on my dresser and say it's from you. I'm fine
with it. You know. I didn't think touch was like a one of mine but when I was going through my first
divorce and then shortly after I deployed I was so deprived of touch. Like I just wanted to be
touched. So I'd pay for a massage at the shopping center. Once a week. Once a week. Where? In India?
No when I was well I was in Guam. What is a UAE? Stop trying to show off.
Like many of us know what the fuck UAE is. Yeah nobody knows what that is. United Arab Emirates.
Okay I knew but that wasn't. He did not pay attention in geography or whatever.
So you were in Hawaii then?
United Hawaii of America. Oh UAE. I don't know. What are you talking about? Oh my god.
Oh fuck. No but I was in the Middle East though whenever I was paying for those massages.
Oh did you ever get a happy ending? No he didn't do anything like that but he did get really close
to my outer lip so that was pretty cool. So did you have to change? Well you didn't have underwear on.
What he did? You knew she didn't have underwear on. Give me the play by play. He lifted my knee
back to my shoulder. Pushed it back a couple times and then he took and he spread my knee
open exposing everything in there and then proceeded to rub very slowly and nicely up my
thigh and around the way and again and again and I was like oh my god I will be back next week.
So no he never touched anything other than like close to my outer labia. Labia minora.
Labia majora. So when you did this did you go home and pleasure yourself later? Probably. Oh yeah you
would have had to if you was in the U of A. No I was in the UCA LA. Qatar. So it was kind of like
foreplay like just a tip. Well yeah I mean it was something I really wanted to be touched so
I don't like nobody so I paid for somebody. That man had no idea but. Daddy Kane knew.
Close to your. No I mean he had no idea how much I needed to be touched.
This is it. Why does. When you kept coming back every week I bet you knew. I'm like I want him.
We have a standing appointment one o'clock every. I think men who want I think men need to know
every part of a woman's vagina too by the way. Yep when I say vulva you have to know. Brad can
you name four parts? I don't care if they can name them. They just need to know where the magic part is.
Because I hate how many guys do not know how to do it. What is it? Yeah thank you. What is it? Find
the spot. Okay I want to teach you guys something I learned on the art of orgasm. It was a show that
I watched on Netflix. I think that's what it was called and it was really really uncomfortable to
watch but I was glad I did it. Women have a it is there's no rhyme or reason for it. They have a
ball of nerves that is to the right of their clitoris and if you get right on it it is like a
button. I taught Brad and I was like. I literally the day he found it I was like yes that's where it
fucking is. Do you think on the inside or the outside? Outside. I'll show you not on my vagina but I'll draw a picture and show you.
On the outside? Okay so it is a spot and now I'm gonna have to google this. Oh I'll just google it.
Okay it's a the only ball of nerves on your vagina. Google that. Everybody google that instead of
getting information for me. I'm just gonna give you information to google. Okay google the ball of nerves by my vagina.
Can't be expected to know everything. I don't know why this is on your list of
definitions. Exactly I already did definitions. I don't know that one. Name all the parts of the vagina.
Bradley. There's a Volvo that he talked about. The what? The Volvo. Okay. Like the car.
The car. The Volvo. Okay. Drive that Volvo up in there. Okay what's the second part? Oh there's your lips.
If you're out there lips I guess. What's that fatty part around? The G spot. The lips do you know what they're called?
Or they just called lips? It's like a lady or something. Yeah. Okay what's the other part?
Another one I don't know. Your G spot is that a part? It's a part. It's the good part.
Don't forget about the nerves. Okay it's clitoris. Hood. Hood is that actually one?
I think the Volvo is the hood. Oh my god this is terrible. See you all don't even know so how am I supposed to know?
Exactly baby you're right. I'm so sorry. I just know about you. I'm googling it right now. Brad just said I just know it by feel.
It goes down there all bloody. Brad and I. You can't see nothing now. Baby I got a new game.
I'm about to blindfold you and you're about to name my parts. He needs to get one of Grant's headlamps.
Ew I would never. There is no baby caught down the well. You can't even name all the parts though.
No okay clitoris. Volvo. Look them up. Labia. Labia manora. That's a um. The skinny lips. Labia nanora. Majora.
Majora and that's the majority of your lips. That's the major one. That's the bigger one.
And then the minor one which is the minor to the big lips. Right so the major is the outside lips. That's the big bitch lips.
Oh shit. Okay what else? None of us know. And I think none of us are gonna. Mons pubis. What's a mons pubis? That's the hood.
Oh my gosh. It's the mons pubis. Um. So down the skin above your clitoris directly atop your pubic bone.
Who comes up with these names? Yeah who named all those things? The Lord. So stupid.
He wanted to make sure it didn't sound very thick. Go ahead and get you on that mons. Get you on that purr purr.
He didn't. Whoa. Okay. The glands clitoris. The urethra. The vagina. Also known as the entrotis.
I didn't know that one. The outer part is the vulva. Sometimes called the vestbula. Surely I'm making that up.
You guys are not being helpful. Around the opening of the vagina there are two sets of. Well.
Nobody? Okay well. See this is what happens. Look I was counting on you. The perinum. The perinum. The perinum.
Is that your taint? Oh get you some perinum. Is that your taint? Oh my god. I need to. Listen.
In the next episode I'm going to know all the parts of the vagina. Oh my gosh. What if I was going to turn my boyfriend on and I was like I'm going to lick your perinum.
And you'd be like what is that? And you'll be like don't forget the mons pubis lying down there. Don't forget to shave your mons pubis.
Are you sure you don't have a clit though?
You got me ugly crying dude. I know. Oh shit. Okay so next time on Broadminded.
Well first of all Leanne we want to thank you for letting. For coming and bullshitting with us and laughing with us. I think this could be good Leanne. We might have helped you get Buddha you know what I'm saying.
Send your resume to. We're working on it. This one's going to blow up. My mango. My mango is to blow up and act like I don't know nobody.
No no. What the hell. Alright somebody take me home. Alright thanks for listening. Can't wait to talk to you again someday. Bye.
Peace out. Deuces.
Oh she did deuces.