Hello, welcome to another episode of Unpacking Neuroqueerness. Today, I have another guest on the podcast my friend Andrew
Forster
Andrew and I met at an autistic meetup of Square pegs autistic meetup up in Seattle a couple weeks ago
Welcome Andrew
Yes, thank you for coming on
So I'm gonna ask Andrew today a few different questions
Special interests and then we're gonna talk about like a little bit about a
Few other things as well and just go from there. Anyways my first
But my first question for you today Andrew is
What is I like to ask this because it's weather is one of my special interests. So what is your favorite kind of weather?
That's a very good question
Depending on the season and time of year. I prefer dry weather
less on the
Community side because I'm still not used to it even though I'm originally from
It's been kind of part of these
ways of surviving in a way how to describe it, but
It's been living with humidity. It's been very uncomfortable for me
Yeah, so that's that's definitely a good thing about living in in Seattle because you don't get I
Mean I guess humidity. Do you mean like the heat and humidity or just humidity in general?
Oh here in Seattle where I've occurred living in its humidity in general
Cuz the higher amounts only occur
When the overall temperature is low
When it's 40s 50s 60s, I have a rough time being out there trying to enjoy the nice weather
Cuz I feel drained within the first five ten minutes at most
Yeah
And another thing I don't like about it when it's said that humid out there
Around the run the temperature level it makes it difficult to stay awake for a certain day to get myself
motivated to do other things
Yeah
But when it comes to drier
Weather or drier heat when it's in the upper 70s or somewhere in the 80s to a certain level
That I can even find almost out at Arizona level. Yeah, so like
Higher temperatures and lower humidity
Precisely, yeah
Yeah, definitely I can relate to that also I generally
tend to prefer cooler weather
But if it is warmer, I like it dry
Um, because yes
Cuz yeah, if it's too humid
Then it gets so uncomfortable and sticky and I'm sure you've
Being from Chicago, you've experienced very hot and humid
Many times during the summer. It's really not worth it. Yeah
I mean if it was drier during the summer there, which is hardly ever is
Then I would enjoy it better. What's this it hasn't been when I was there?
Yeah, now what do you?
What do you what's your favorite season? What would you say is your favorite season in Chicago and your favorite season in Seattle?
I see my favorite season in my hometown Chicago
It's actually a tiebreaker. It's between
the end of winter start of spring and
the
Midpoint of fall
to the start of winter
Cool, so that's like when it's starting to snow. Yeah, cool. Yeah
Yeah, so they've survived school but he blisters. Yeah
Do you do you think which one do you think is worse the winters or the summers in Chicago?
Both yeah
Equally it's just like I said, it's not worth it. Yeah
Well, the difference on my favorite weather is
There's spots or fair seasons here in Seattle
Actually any season
There's a bit to me from my observations for 12 years living out here on my own
Drub serving every single season I've been through since I moved out here
That's been very evil, especially during the winter time
Yeah, even when it snows here, which hardly ever snows
It doesn't feel as chilly as how it would
Yeah, yeah, that's why I wanted to rare
Few of how many are out here that we're sure it's all year round
Yeah, yeah
that's
For sure, I can see I can see that how it's a
lot milder in the summer and
Like still comfortable but not oppressively hot and how it's
Milder in the winter too where we're like you said it gets
Yeah, it can snow a little bit but not as much and that it doesn't feel as chilly
Yeah, even though from a few years back
we had a
Blizzard of sorts here during that one winter it did close a lot of roads and a lot of businesses for
for the length of time but like
On the actual impoverished self
It still wasn't I didn't feel it that cold at all. Yeah, I mean being hot-blooded inside
It's not yeah
How cold like what's the coldest it'll usually get in Seattle in the winter
If we have snow it would probably be in
either teams 20s or low 30s definitely below freezing
In Chicago can get
Yeah
Like negative
Negative 10 or 20 yeah, sometimes you can be a little lower than that
location
Yeah
Yeah, the people keep on me and that global warming is becoming a big factor to this
Maybe it is maybe it's not I don't know
What people keep telling me yeah
Well, what I've what I've observed is that I think there's more extremes now. There's like more
Extreme cold and there's also more extreme heat
It seems like it's
Like at least in some places it used to
Not fluctuate as much and I feel like it's fluctuating a lot more now I
Have
Noticed it that much yeah
How it fluctuates up here
Maybe down in your area, but not up here. Yeah
Yeah, I think down here. It's been fluctuating more recently
What are
Okay, so what is your my next question is what is your favorite or most intense weather related memory?
Surviving the largest
Thunderblizzard back in Chicago before I moved out here in 2011
That was the most strongest
Kind of weather system I can recall in my entire lifetime
Everything was shut down including make sure it dried even that made the news
I
Could I had to miss at least two weeks of college
You know because I couldn't get done there by car by other means of transportation
Couldn't do nothing but even get to work on time either. So yeah, that was so
That was the worst one I can recall
How long was was everything closed like how long with her like power outages to yeah
There were some power outages here there. It didn't affect the house where I was living at though, but
Surrounding other blocks they get affected by it because a lot of the power lines were so frozen someone in broke
to a point but
There was so much fetus stow out
There was so much fetus stow out there. It was about as bad
As I think the storm in 67 or 79
From what Bob and pop can tell me well. Yeah. Yeah, that was that intense but
That one on four weeks
Were you in Chicago for this?
Do you remember anything about the heat wave of 1995?
Yeah, I was there. I
was
graduating from
elementary school starting up high school
that year
That summer was cheese
We made a lot of record highs during that summer. Yeah, I
Remember watching yeah, right. We went to great America
And that was a bad time ago. We got totally sunburned. Well, yeah
It was I
remember watching like a documentary on the weather channel a long time ago
about the 1995 heat wave in Chicago and
how it was
Like the heat index was almost like a hundred and twenty degrees or something
It would that was out in the suburbs
Yeah, but that index level because I was born in the
Obscurrence of the city in Northwest side in that area it
Barely made the index of a hundred
From what I can recall. Yeah, but it did last for almost the entire summer. Yeah, well, yeah
My next question for you
More about your special interests. What are your favorite special interests and when did you get into how and when did you get into them?
Well, first off for me being on the spectrum video games
My entire life long thing involving technology since I was a little kid
Yeah, he's from a great first
Computer system from way back when to first Atari first Nintendo systems
Pretty much a little bit of everything cool. Cool. What are some of your favorite video games that you've had?
Plus this has been a fan of the retro ones
Seeing more your cart start off
What else
The cruise in series who cruise in USA to the most reason one
What else
Extreme G collection that was a bit racing collection
And then there are a couple of retro shooters I like the doom collection series Sam
A little bit of halo along with it. Do no, actually that ties along with the doom guy right there. Ah
And there are a couple of puzzle games I like to dimensional tech trees. Dr. Mario
2048
Sudoku
I have mixed feelings for that one from time to time, but it's it's up there. Yeah, right
Yeah
Just recently I started to get into RPGs and JRPG's but that was so long
But other than that
Certain John Ray's really caught my eye
And every so often as I got an older I've been kind of changing into a different John Ray and so on and so forth
Hmm, but I but currently right now. I've been going back to retro stuff. This is
Yeah
nice
What what would you say is your favorite if you have any like what is your favorite and least favorite?
Autism TV representation
Like show like if you've seen any shows with autistic characters and
What you don't like about those shows and what you like about them
Good example, but I like to spring big
Big bang theory. Yeah. Yeah, I had some interesting characters in there
Especially one that he doesn't he does put kind of portray someone who's on the spectrum
And I do learn from him on how he performed that character, but then there are times he kind of goes a
Little too far on overactive. Yeah, I agree. I
In the later episodes. Yeah, I really I did watch the big bang theory a lot when I was younger because I did also
Relate to
Sheldon the main character. Yes. Yeah
Yeah, cuz I there are just a lot of things that
stood out like
He also had a hard time like understanding like these
social codes and stuff and
and
Saving yeah, and it like
Things that yeah, it's just a lot about him like
Sensory stuff and
Like being like having special interests and being really
Focused on his work and like
Yeah, and I also have this similar feelings like I think a lot of it felt pretty accurate like in terms of
at least my experience and things that I could identify with and
There were also some parts where it felt like they were stretching in a little bit where I
Feel like for me and I've heard this from like a few other people too is that
he would say something
Out loud about like a certain situation that I necessarily it's like I'm thinking that in my head
But I don't usually say it and I think that's
Somewhere that was
That they missed like like Sheldon would always say it and so I felt like that was like you said a little bit over
Active or over over over acted. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, and
Gosh, I had another
Thought it escaped my head, but
Do you any other like shows with autistic characters that you related to
Monk Monk cool. I don't think I've seen I've heard of Monk. I haven't seen it. But what was your?
the character himself on how he
able to
solve each mystery
by using a lot of his phobias and
Help him think
And figure it out how the clues add up
And who was the actual suspect to each one that kind of thing well
He was trying to solve the ongoing murder of his wife
I see yeah, yeah that I can relate to like wanting to solve and like
Investigate and having a very curious mind
What are some ways that you feel?
misunderstood and
You wish that like what are some of the things that you struggle with the most?
With when communicating with neurotypicals and that you wish that they did a better job of understanding
I've always been misunderstood by a lot of neurotypicals
been trying to get to know them better and hang out with them and what but
This is still very difficult to this day. You can't do
Can't be on the same page with
Yeah, whatever they're talking about. Yeah, I tried my best to get to that same level with you
No, it turns out they keep telling me I'm more smarter than they are so I try to dump myself down and I can help
See expect me to do yeah, I feel like it's really complicated because
She's the same thing with my family
I'm trying to be on the same page with them and me being the eldest son who's on the spectrum
Whatever they try to bring up
It's not being on the same page what I'm trying to do
But it's talking about the same top
And whatever I'm at the same page with them they get upset with me
Yeah, no, I relate a lot to like being
told that I'm doing
like I'm overthinking something or
I'm getting
Like I'm doing too much of something or I'm not doing enough of something like it's exactly what I'm going to yeah
It's really fun training because it's
Yeah, I
Yeah, it does. Yeah, because it's like you can't because like we're trying so hard to
To find that balance and it's really hard because it's just like I can't I can't seem to get it right either
That's how I feel every time every single day
Even the most simplest things
You become complicated
Yeah, it's yeah, it has a lot. Do you also struggle with?
being told that
Being told that you're
That like people thinking that you're lying because you're yes, yeah
Yeah, cuz cuz they think that because we communicate so directly and they're
constantly like looking for
Subtext they think that we're like saying they're like looking for things that we're not
Saying and they think that we're hiding something
But we're just
Yeah, they're using us
For us being the exaggerators even though we're trying to be truthful and honest about whatever it is
The arguments about yeah, but they're not believing
Yeah, they soon when exaggerates
Yeah, exactly
So yeah, no, it's um I
Experienced that too where like I'm exaggerating or I'm
Yeah, like I'm overthinking or I'm
Yeah, like I'm projecting
But I'm just like thinking of I'm just seeing the reality. I'm I'm just like trying to say yeah
Like this is what we need to do because this is what's happening
This situation
When whatever the topic is that turns out to be an argument
Whenever I try to bring my side of whatever it is to get done the same page there
They automatically stop me right there to assume you're exaggerating. We don't believe a word what you say
That's when I get super defensive and overreact and overthink or whatever
And it drains energy out of me to get their attention that I'm not
Doing that. I'm being honest and truthful to be on the same level as you guys
But they don't believe
Yeah, it was the point
Yeah, it's really frustrating and it is like I've had a lot of
People that I just kind of
Gave up on on having any kind of relationship with or because they don't yeah
Have there been any
Have you have like over time have you come across any people that
Like made some effort to understand you and like they've and what are
Like has that happened with any people?
My artistic friends who get along well with me. We get along the same level and page all the time. Yeah
And that seems to be the only group I'm familiar with now. I also find that
Most of the people like I'm
Lucky that like there's some
Some neurotypical people that I know that I feel like they
They make a little effort to understand me and I think they're getting a little better, but
It's they still it's hot water
I feel like the people that I feel that I can relate to the most
Are autistic people because we're just thinking like we're on the same frequency. We're thinking on the same level
Even people with ADHD that aren't autistic. I feel
A little more understood than than I do with neurotypicals
Yeah, right, but I think
It with autistic people is where I feel the most
Comfortable like I feel I just feel like we we're on the same level and we we get it like we
Like even though we all have different experiences with our lives
It's it's sort of like we speak the same language
In a way, yeah, yeah, I did learn something though throughout my lifetime when it becomes to
At least trying my best to be on the same level with anyone who's not a spectrum. I know who's not
Theater comedy theater
That improved my self
I
Improved my self
Outside of that
To be more myself
And to make them understand more but
Even though it's more entertaining in a way
From their point of view
When I'm trying to get the same meaning same seriousness as they are when I am
Yeah
Yeah, so you feel like when you're doing comedy and comedy theater, they're more
It's easier
Just anything involving a big life
While trying to be serious
It does make it entertaining at all
But I'm still trying my best to get the point out there
Yeah, even with some kind of facial reaction
You know, comedically reaction kind of thing
Yeah
Yeah, that's good. That's another really tricky part is their the facial reactions going back to like
How neurotypicals can misunderstand us a lot is I feel like they're
They think that
Like they have this idea that certain faces will always correspond to certain feelings and like sometimes
Like what happens to me is that sometimes I'll be really I'll be actually like excited or happy about something
And I'm just not showing it like my face isn't as excited doesn't maybe look as excited as I am
And then they interpret that they think that I'm not excited or they think that I'm lying if I tell them that I am excited
And
So I don't know like it that's something that that's happened with me before
But it depends like sometimes it's also something that I've been able to kind of like
Over time figure out like these different expressions and like how they use them and then kind of apply that also and then
Some days I actually have more more success with that but
It just makes me think a lot about how
Like we're usually the ones that have to do all that work
With like trying to understand them and trying to adapt. Yes. Yeah
And another thought
It just came briefly in my head but then
Yeah
Well I've learned recently
Yeah, I've learned recently
I've learned recently
To rely less on thinking because
Like you mentioned at the beginning that we overthink too often
So what I've learned philosophy philosophically is to rely less on that
And just observe through your eyes
Yeah, as you find anything that catches your attention to your eyes only
Then there'll be something to talk about
It may be ongoing, maybe a short one, who knows
But you could do it that way
You have to write them on detail
You know what you're observing
Relying less on thinking about it
I mean still think about it but not
Think about it too much
Then maybe the neurotypicals might be able to understand
Whatever the heck it is you're talking about
Yeah, yeah, no that makes sense. Yeah, because I do get
I feel like a lot of it is like when I go to talk to someone that's neurotypical
I feel like I kind of tense up and I like start thinking a lot about
About trying to script what I'm gonna say and how it's gonna go
But if I just go more naturally from what I'm feeling and not thinking too much
It does make it easier
Yeah, because I've also learned when you overtake it does make your head hurt
Yeah, oh my gosh, yeah definitely
I've experienced that
I did remember what I wanted to ask
Oh good
Gifting because that's okay another I was wondering if you struggle with receiving gifts as well
Because
Like the they
What happens with me is they want to see they want me to open the gift in front of me
And I get really worried about how they're gonna interpret my reaction
I was wondering if you experienced that too
If you feel shy when opening gifts in front of people
When it comes to opening gifts I don't like doing it anytime because I receive them quite often
I'm always happy for it
Yeah, no, I think it's like the the receiving the gift itself I like
It's just sometimes like
Opening it in front of people makes me makes me nervous because I worried that they're gonna
I
Never know
Okay, yeah
No, I've always been the very source full type of a bit
For being on the spectrum is just even though that's the total opposite
What
It's just one of things that I seem to overcome
Throughout my life
Yeah, it still is
So I see well that's yeah
One of the pipes about that is once you get to meet and read other people's
No matter where you live in it, especially here
Eventually they help you out in return
Yeah
In unexpected moments
So that's that's one of the pipes of surviving on your own living independently
A lot of free stuff
Yeah
It's very useful to you do not
He's the thing
Here's what I do not to suggest to look at
Do not take advantage of it
Do not think of it as a thing advantage of anyone that they could try to get to know
Never look at it like that
Yeah
Just look at them as neighbors friends just regular people always looking out for you
Vice versa
And that's what I've been doing living on my own for 12 years
And every so often
They help me out with whatever I'm going through
Yeah
It's just like they're treating me as family
Yeah
Family guy
Yeah
Yeah, I think it's always nice when you're able to develop
A connection enough of a connection with someone and then like
Helping them out with certain things that it ends up
They're more inclined to help you out when
When they're more than a cent
Yeah
Makes sense
Gosh, I'm still trying
I have a few more questions planned too
But I'm still
I still keep trying to remember what I wanted to ask you about the big bang theory
Right
I hope it comes back to me at some point
Yeah, well
Yeah
Well
I hope it comes back to me at some point
It will, it will eventually
Yeah
I wanted to ask you also more about like just in general
Because I know we talked like weather related things in between
Yeah
Chicago and Seattle or the West Coast
But
Why?
What do you like to if we if we think of it more just like in general
What are some of the things in general you like better about Chicago
And that you like better about Seattle
Well I like to buy Chicago for the important race from
These
These two people, certain types of people that I've met over the years
Well the important race
Who would hang out with, who would try that kind of thing
I always wanted things I enjoyed
The other thing to tie along with that is a lot of good eateries
When they were around
When I was a child to a teenager
To a teenager
But as I got older to a young adulthood
When I was a great turn 21
Things just kind of
Based out in a way to a point that it was going to be my time to
Start moving out and living on my own and trying something different
And that's what I've been doing ever since I
To where I'm at now
But in relation to that
I've actually been familiar with the Seattle area
Since our first family trip back in 88
Wow
So technically I know this area way back then
I see
What made you, what prompted
What did you really like about
Seattle that prompted you to decide to move there from Chicago
Location, air quality, people
A lot more work opportunities
Just felt like my second home
Yeah, nice
And what would you say are the main differences like
Culturally like with the people
Like the main differences that you like better about
Seattle people than Chicago people
From my experiences with Seattle people
We get along really great
Yeah
But with the people in Chicago
There are certain types we do get along great
But that percentage is very small
Here it's a lot more wide open
Yeah
They really look out for you
Especially in the area that I live on the
East side of Lake Washington
They really look out for you
Possibly there are some I know
On the other side of the lake in the downtown Seattle area
Or north of that
But while I'm currently living there right now
I've been in much better
There's people here understand
Yeah
And I understand them
So you feel a lot more understood in Seattle than Chicago
Yes, I've been in wave
Yeah
Even though mom and pop still want me to move back home
Because they're old and retired and all that stuff
And me being the oldest son and all that jazz here
But I love them dearly
And I keep telling them
I'm already rooted out here
My younger brother who lives here right by you
He's already been rooted out there in the same time zone
So we ain't moving back anytime soon
Yeah
Gosh now I
So I think
I'm like trying to remember that
That thing about the Big Bang Theory
Let's see, I think it was
I mean this might be a different question
But maybe it will lead me to the original one
What was, how did you discover it?
Like when was the first time you saw the Big Bang Theory?
Probably when we still had
Cable TV
So that was, oh gosh
I think the first episode was aired in
The mid-2000s
2007 I think
Yeah, so we was around the time when we were
Ending to have Cable TV
And that's when I saw a couple of commercials about it
But I didn't have a chance to actually see the episodes then
Until many years later
Yeah
Cool, I think it was around that same time that I
Started watching it as well
It was also like I saw it on Cable TV
Like I would see a few episodes
And then I think I ended up watching them
Like later on
And
Yeah, I could relate
Sheldon of course was the main character that I
Related to
And then of course some of the other characters also
Like you said, what were and what were
What were like some of your other favorite characters and why?
The other main protagonist
The one with the glasses
Yeah, he was one of my other favorites
Every time when he would get an argument with Sheldon
Or with someone else, depending on using the terminology
Or just being himself
I can really do this level
Yeah, I liked the other two
Yeah, but for the other one
I can't
I don't know
Howard or Rej?
Howard, yeah
I can also relate to him during the first two seasons
Before he met his girlfriend
They would always have trouble finding that right one
Yeah
Yeah, exactly, yeah
I can relate to that too
But with Leonard when he
You know, I just connected with Paulie
He just wanted to do this
Penny
Yeah, thank you
Yeah, when he got connected with her
It was like
I know how to do it now
Yeah, yeah
I remember Leonard and Penny
He had a crush on her from the very beginning
And then she was dating a bunch of other guys
And then they ended up getting together
And then eventually Sheldon
Ends up dating Amy
What do you think of Amy?
She's a definite match for him
Yeah
In so many ways
Yeah, I agree
I remember watching their first date
And I was like, wow, yeah, this is like a
Basically a woman version of Sheldon
Yeah
Questions
What were some of your favorite parts of the show
And would you say in general?
If you had any
Each episode by using the scientific terminology
And see if there was an exact meaning
To each episode in relation to the title of it
Yeah, I think
What was your...
Is there one in particular you remember?
There are a couple
They were from the first and second season
Because I'm in the third one right now
You know how I'm involving the different techniques
Or how to keep a relationship stable
Or how to say hi
That kind of thing
Yeah
What are some of your...
Back to when you were talking about Chicago
And food and everything
What are some of your favorite foods?
Sushi
Yeah, I like sushi too
That's my number one favorite
What would you say is your number two?
Definitely on the healthy side
Salad
Or sometimes when I go to Subway
I get one of those there
Or Jersey Mike's or any kind of sub place
I have a good presentable sub
For like a six inch or whatever
But I would have to write balance of protein
And salad and material together
Yeah
Is there a difference from Subway in Chicago to Seattle?
Or would you say it's pretty similar?
But for trying it out here in Seattle
To pay that which location you go to
They actually do it a little bit differently
They even give the ingredients
Taste a little bit fresher here
Then they did post visiting back home
While back
What are some other favorite foods
That you really liked in Chicago?
Hot dogs
Cold sausage
Smoked sausage
Sometimes brats
Tambies, cheese bites
Pizza, pasta
Seafood
Especially what I've remembered
What I've been able to raise is
Going out when it comes to seafood
We would always go to Red Lobster
Or a few crab places
That were on the suburbs
That were so often
I miss going to Dulles
Especially some of the good crab places
Like Bob James' crab house
That was fun
Any good seafood
I'm sure you've found any good seafood places
In Seattle too
And around here
That are about as good
And you do get a bit fresher here
Because it's closer to the ocean
For one
But
Atmyspherically
It doesn't feel the same
This is what I can remember
From my experiences
Back in Chicago
Yeah
Mm-hmm
Any other cities that you've been to
Outside of Chicago and Seattle
That you really liked?
San Francisco
Cool, yeah, San Francisco
Yeah, San Francisco, Richmond
Los Angeles, San Diego
Beverly Hills, Hollywood
It's like a think of
The lights gray season in California
In Arizona, there's Phoenix, Tucson
A few other small towns
I've been to once
That was a year ago
That was fun
Austin, Texas
Once many, many years back
Wisconsin
Lake Geneva, Williamus Bay
Green Bay, Milwaukee
Madison a few times
Michigan, there's Detroit
Lansing, one of their small towns
What do you call the names of?
Indiana
There's Gary in Indianapolis
I've traveled to so many different states
The only ones I've ever been to yet
Was Florida
Both of the Carolina states
Maine
Vermont, New Hampshire
Is there a favorite out of all of those
That you've been to?
Well, if you want to go by favorites
In the East Coast
I've actually enjoyed Massachusetts
The Boston, Cambridge area
What were your favorite things about Massachusetts?
Family
Along the Cape
Even the area over there is good too
They've got really good sequel games
Especially
Genuine, authentic New England clam shout
The white one, not the red one
Yeah, the white one, I like the white one too
I don't like the red one that much
I've tried the red one a few times
It was a bit too salty for me
It's just like for me it was too soupy
I remember it's just because I really like
How the white one is creamy
Supposed to be
Yeah, so
I remember ordering, it was actually one time
That I ordered the chowder
And I didn't know that it was the red one
I thought I was like expecting the white one
In my head
So then it came and it was the red one
It was not bad, but it was
It was definitely an adjustment for me
Because I had been expecting something from Maine
Yeah
That's another thing I should mention
Not being on the spectrum
How to accept change
Yeah, that's a tough one, yeah
But it depends on the type of change
That's going on
What is the kind of...
The ones I'm still having trouble to this day
Is life changes
With people or with jobs
What are you talking about?
There are certain things in actual life
I still do not accept change
I just...
Even though I'm hearing a lot of good things about it
And trying to accept it
No, yes
Will not accept it
Are there types of change that
Have been easier for you than others?
Back then they were
The way before COVID they were
But not at COVID
They are gone
This is...
Such a big impact
I still don't accept it
What were some of the toughest things about
COVID or during the height of the pandemic
That you...
Besides being unable to socialize with anyone
Finding a stable job
Had to rely on unemployment
For that special moment there
Which did help a lot
But the downside about it
We owe them so much money
Back in return
The next year which was kind of...
Okay
So...
I mean it sort of made sense
But...
Yeah
It was just not a good time
And even nowadays
It was still come back
To a point where I still won't accept that change anymore
It's just...
They already made a big impact
People are still not going back down things were
So because they chose to accept this new change
That's how we feel more divided than being together
Yeah
On the topic of people
Do you...
Have you struggled with getting really attached
To certain people and having a hard time
Like letting go of them
If they...
Like having a system...
Quite frequent
Even though I don't show it
But it's coming from within
Yeah I feel that really deep
Attachment inside also
I feel a deep attachment to somebody
And it's really hard when you know that they don't feel
The same way about you
Like even not necessarily romantically
But even just like in friendships and stuff
Yeah like I struggle a lot with that
And then also
Perception, being really sensitive to things
Like with a friend or whatever
If I text them something and I don't hear back from them
I'll start projecting like I think that they're upset at me
But sometimes they're just really busy
And they just haven't responded
But I catch myself getting really anxious
Yeah
Yeah that's one thing that's...
Like because we were talking earlier also about change
And so I feel like another thing that was really hard for me
Like one change that was hard was
When I was...
I did like an acting school for two years
And I had these people that I got close to
And we would like see each other every week
Or like twice a week
And then everyone kind of goes their own ways
And then like we don't...
Like some of them I don't really see or hear from anymore
And so I remember that was just kind of...
It was weird for me
It took a while for me to adjust to that
Like I...
It felt really...
And it's not even only about like
My connections with people individually
But it's just like the feeling of...
It was a structure
Like I had this structure that I knew that I was going to see them
It's also like I get really used to structures
When I have like a program, a class or something
And it ends
Because then it's like I end up...
Like I have to restructure
Like I just end up doing other things
And moving on to other projects and such
But it like that transition is tough for me
Yep, I can relate
I feel like I...
I feel like I've...
I don't know, like I...
There's another thing that I had thought of
I can't escape my head again
Did you have any other...
I wanted to open it up to you a little bit
If you had any other topics you wanted to talk about
Well, going back to video games
Has been one of the unique individuals in the spectrum
Actually, work in the industry for almost a decade
Yeah, how's that?
What's that been like for you?
Yeah
Let me put it this way
After getting my feet in the door by not knowing anyone
Was such a challenge
I thought I was not going to get it
I was not going to get in at all
Just because of who I am
And from the amount of knowledge that I had
Prior to that
Even with the college degree that I was aiming for
At the time too
But I had a good feeling back then
Or a small good feeling that I was not going to get in at all
That was just going to be a waste of time
But I proved myself wrong
And everyone else wrong
And I got accepted like that
Just for being myself
I had to get my feet in the door
And as I started to learn more about how it's done in the industry
Working there
Being trained to do what needs to be done at the time
I made such a great first impression
Not just towards me
But towards anyone who I worked with
Even with the executive staff
Superb if anyone
They've been living up to me
For certain things
Even though I was one of the low-end people
Just for doing content work
During my time spent there
And that moment on I just got let go
Or laid off during the midst of COVID
And I was 21
I've been such an awesome legend there
They've been bringing me back to visitations
Just to see how am I doing
See how they're doing
So on and so forth
And ever since then
My name has been more reachable
Back in my hometown
People still ask about me
Talk about me
Just because of working in the industry
Yeah, that must feel good
It feels great
It feels awesome
But we're very humble about it
It was one of the best life-long experiences
That I've been through in my own entire lifetime
That I've been a mentor to others
Who are trying to do the exact same thing
Which is how we're difficult to get in
Do what I did
Get your feet in the door
By not knowing anyone at all
Just be yourself the entire time
Just show them and prove them wrong
Yeah, definitely
So you gotta go from there?
Yeah
Well, that's amazing
That's really good
Yeah, I think definitely
When we get to a point
Where we're somewhere
We can just be ourselves
And then embrace that
And be accepted for it
Or like, not always accepted for it everywhere
But at least in certain places
That's always good
Like when you have that
Wherever it is
When you have that group
Where you're somewhere
Where you have that group
That accepts you
That's good, yeah
Well, unfortunately, I couldn't remember
That other question I wanted to ask you
And I guess I can always message you
If I remember it
But that's pretty much all that I had
In terms of questions for today
But I wanted to thank you again
For coming on the podcast
This was a really...
Unless you wanted to add something
It's been my honor of joining in
As I've always enjoyed being a guest
For anyone's show
Yeah, thanks, yeah
I really enjoyed having you on
And I will...
I will let you know when this episode is out
And thank you everyone for listening
I hope you enjoyed this conversation as well
And I'll see you guys next time