Songwobin Presents The Lanaya Expedition
A Level Up, Advanced 5th Edition, Actual Play Campaign
Episode 16 – Kul Anura
You can catch us live every Sunday at 8pm EST on Twitch.tv slash Songwobin Show or watch
the video version of this podcast on YouTube.
Thanks for listening.
We are joined by...
I'm not sure.
Not sure what the Q is.
Coming in!
Via Ninja's throwing smoke bombs at the entrance.
The smoke alarm has gone off, the emergency number was called, but that doesn't matter!
And she's here!
It's Jenny Shiror!
Is that what you want me to do?
No, you usually do the left to right thing.
Oh, that does it!
Introducing from...
That was great!
Introducing from left to right!
I'm Jenny, and I just...
There were smoke bombs.
I'm pleased to see you here.
The fire marshal has come!
You shunned down the stream!
The fire marshal has come in the form of Jean Claude, and it's me, Eva Moster!
He would be the fire marshal!
He would be!
Timmy, what did you just chat?
Huh?
What was that?
Did you...oh, why is my resume in the chat?
What?
Tim, take that out!
Take it out!
What was that?
My resume is in the chat, take it out!
I'm banning Tim from my website!
I'll find a way!
Prison break, Amy!
Prison break!
Hi, Dragmire!
Thanks for coming by, everyone!
I missed you all, but I didn't miss this!
Oh, sorry!
I was trying to make a bot, and then I just couldn't do it in time!
You need a bot!
It was gonna be for what stream?
Oh no.
We're songwove, and we're completely professional here!
My hip!
Welcome back to Scuffleland!
You can delete it, JT, if you do whatever brings everyone joy today.
Brings everyone joy?
Mostly Emma.
No, please don't.
No more resumes, please.
I actually have been updating my site because Timmy's going on it.
I saw the Ivanova thing, I was like, wow, it's new! I saw that!
I have photographic memory of your website!
No, no, no!
Actually, I think you should hire Tim.
I think you should hire Tim if anyone's like, man, I'm not sure if my credentials are ready to go.
He'll find them.
I'll read it online.
If it's outdated, that's on you.
It's outdated on you!
I'm a private detective, but for yourself, please hire me to get shameful secrets about you.
I don't want to do anyone else.
You'd be great for people going on first dates, too. You'll be like, all right, let me...
Yeah, let me...
Here's a picture for them in middle school. Do with that what you will.
Can you really trust a Scorpio?
First, professional opinion.
I have this exact outfit on, I have a little orange Hawaiian shirt.
You've got a fedora. You can dip the fedora in.
It's Coach!
All right, everyone, I have really unfortunate news to start off this broadcast.
I'm really sorry to say this, but it's not pronounced ballet.
What?
It's not pronounced ballet.
According to who?
I was prepping according to the guy who made it.
What's it called?
It's called a boule.
And I can't stop thinking about Michael Buble.
Wait, wait, that tracks though, because we only let Michael Buble out once a year at Christmas time.
We only let the boule out.
I like ballet better. I think boule is like, I don't know, that sounds like a very Jean-Claude thing, and this is not his realm at all.
This is very serendipitous because something later you'll see.
Boubliert.
No, that's bad. It's a different kind of dungeon.
You somebody's...
Also, here at Songwobin, we do our own shit.
Where's the T's though? There's two of them. T-T. This is my initials. T-T. T-T. T-T. Two letters next to each other.
I just want to point out that sometimes the pronunciations aren't reliable because D&D Beyond, in my opinion, pronounces Sawagan wrong.
They have Matt Mercer confidently saying, Saw-hoo-agan. And I'm like, no, it's Sawag-an.
Saw-hoo-agan? Saw-hoo-agan?
Yeah, if you listen to it, it's like Matt Mercer saying, Saw-hoo-agan. And I'm like, no.
Saw-hoo-agan, Sigel.
I like ballet. I like ballet, and if we want to, Jean-Claude can say boule.
Boulay.
Oh my god, no! Tell me a reason! Um, actually! Um, actually?
Mero shows up. Um, actually!
I'm old. Um, actually! Little May-chan.
Genuinely, it would be an Augustus thing.
Um, actually.
We love our NPCs so much. We are the Adventurers League!
And we are a League of Adventurers!
Adventurers!
Adventure is a legacy!
You have to put that as our intro next time, Tim.
It might be copyrighted.
I took that right from Heart-Sun and I replaced explorers with adventurers.
Okay. We'll work on a cover.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta get a cool instrumental.
Which TT will provide for us, no doubt.
Okay. Um, so, one more thing. Hey guys! It's Pride Month! Whoa! Crazy!
Yay!
Just like how you don't need a birthday to celebrate yourself, you don't need a month to celebrate who you are or to have pride in who you are.
We said this before, but we are welcome. We are absolutely welcome of all of creeds, of whoever you love, of what you love and whatever you believe yourself to be.
You are starlight in an inkwell. You are lightning in a bottle. I stole that from Lex Olden from Game Wolven. Love them so much.
And you are way more beautiful than a binary answer.
So, absolutely, really glad to have you all here, no matter who you are.
And we're kind, courteous, and gentle with one another. Everyone's gonna get along and we're gonna have a great time.
And everyone in TTRPG's is just a little gay, you know? Just how it is. Just a little snitch.
Just like theater.
This is like theater.
You know?
That was all. Happy Pride.
I love all of you, except for those in chat.
Just kidding. Just kidding. I guess. I think.
And I don't love all of you. I'm just really selective.
But I love all of you.
Very mixed messages here.
I think he's gonna fight you.
And he'll lose.
You're a leader, Dragmire? That's awesome.
Yay! Well, yeah, one time Dragmire was doing full-on Shakespearean verses in our chat.
Oh, yeah.
I remember Dragmire was really affected by the House of Waffles.
I was gonna say he was really trying to help us out there.
He was a diathic pentameter.
Alright. Yes, it is.
Oh, no, not the House of Waffles again.
Jerry Prentiss, Jerry Prentiss.
Jerry Prentiss!
Okay. Serious. Serious now.
Serious mode. This is a very serious game.
This is a very serious game.
Alright, everyone.
Now that we're here, it's time to do...
It's time to settle down and get back into yet another session of Songwolf and the Lanaya Expedition.
In our last session, our intrepid duo here...
I need a burp.
That was bad. That was bad timing.
Her...
Okay.
Do you want me to read the recap?
Thank you, please.
Claude and Cecilia take the Scout Yim back to the Adventurers League where he lives and the pair is recruited into the League.
They take up a quest to recover a missing member who has not returned from the swamp.
There they... nope, I can't read.
There they encounter an Umber Hulk and fight it briefly until a Boulay appears and kills the Umber Hulk.
They find their way to safety and with the help of a Bullywug.
Also, who was the hot... the woman? Who was the lady?
I have to think of price.
I know which one you're talking about right off the...
Elise.
Yes, they met Elise who is very exhausted.
She's like... I want to say she's the stage manager of the Adventurers League.
The official is the provost of the branch. They handle all the administrative stuff.
And then we met Admin who is Elise and then we also met the head of that particular branch who is this really cool half-orc in a wheelchair.
Love him. He was very cool. He got the glen. Dean?
Dean.
Dean Mardikin.
We... yeah. And we had a rockin' time in the woods and then we panicked and climbed trees and escaped with the Bullywugs who are kind of our buddies right now.
Buddywugs.
Buddywugs. They're our buddywugs.
And Cecilia is in it for the points.
I think we should get points for the Umber Hulk because we did most of the work. So anyways...
Who you appealing them to?
You'll see in our invoice.
So as our intrepid duo has joined the boisterous Adventurers League, the Valorous Adventurers League is what it's called,
and set off on their very first official quest to see what is happening with the Bullywugs and to find... oh my notes. Oh gosh.
Everything gets so... where is my...
The Milla?
The slag is there.
My cursor's gone! My cursor's gone!
To find Willa.
Yim's... what's the word for it?
Shulph.
Please submit monster extermination invoices to trash folder at AdventurersLeague.com.
Switch to GT Road in the chat.
To find Willa and to find a researcher, inventor named Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Oh that's right, that guy.
And with that, let us head back in.
Gosh, everything is so... why is everything not organized? Where's my cursor?
Every time I minimize my OBS, cursor just goes away!
You don't need it.
I need music!
The speeder of the m... I need my music!
Okay, there we go.
It's spooky.
So.
We're in the trees.
I love it.
Venturing quickly, kind of like in a hunch, trying to... especially you Jean-Claude, with your standing up a full...
It's huge!
...standing up full-sized, your head would be hitting the branches.
Don't, don't, don't!
The two of you rush off behind a... a bouldy-work wearing tattered clothing, holding a spear.
The two of you rush away from the scene of the... of the victorious monstrosity.
A boule.
I need that clip!
Jesus!
It's during this rushing away from the scene that this adrenaline that's pumping through you...
One of you wearing, like, a fair amount of wounds on you.
I believe someone got hurt, right?
I think it was... was it me?
Did you even get hurt?
Because you didn't even use the temporary hit points, I think.
I don't think... I think I was fine.
Oh, I missed every single one.
Yeah, we didn't get hurt.
Okay.
Yeah, that's...
It was like Romero.
Wearing...
Wearing... wearing the fatigue from the previous harrowing encounter.
Something happened!
You guys are affected by it, okay?
It was scary.
We're emotional...
To be fair, we were emotionally affected.
Wearing the emotional damage from the previous harrowing encounter.
The two of you follow this Bullywog that's scampering across these tall wooden, like, structures that are built around these trees.
In this very thick swamp where now it's much...
Where now it's... even though the sun is out, it feels dark.
It feels dark in here with thick thickets hanging overhead.
And a very... just a very overwhelming humidity hanging in the air.
You follow these really like rickety, sort of like, kept together by chains and wooden slats.
Going from tree to tree.
And you see... and as you're making your way down that way, all these interconnected trees,
you see more Bullywogs who are sticking their head out from behind trees.
And you see that the Bullywog that you're following communicates in croaks.
They communicate with... obviously they're only the one that tried to speak to you before, but none of it was getting through, of course.
And it seems like all of them seem to like, join while another handful of them seem to be going towards the scene of where the boule was.
Bully.
I'm sorry, I'm just...
We're just saying BULLET.
I would say... Jocka would say BULLET, but everyone's saying BULLET.
BULLE.
BULLEON. Okay.
BULLEON.
BULLET.
As you... eventually... and this is a really long stretch of constructed platforms that are suspended in the air, connected to every tree.
For you, Jean-Claude, it's a little... we'll see you too, Cecilia. This was obviously built for smaller creatures.
I would say Jean-Claude probably has to bend in half.
She has to bend in half, and every time you walk on those connecting wooden platforms, it kind of sways a bit.
Cecilia's usually pretty clumsy. She's got negative dexterity.
So that's the ripping things, trying not to...
Hug it and just crawl on it?
I also think we both wear heavy armor, so we both have... it's a mess.
It is eventually that when you get towards the point where everything seems to be...
You are far distance away. It's been like a five minute rush.
The Bullywog turns around, looks around, looks down towards where the Bully was, and just goes...
Jean-Claude just looks at Cecilia and goes, hey, hey, just don't go down, I assume?
Down, we, walk, don't.
Yeah, no worries, by the way, we had no plan on going back down there.
Yeah... I mean...
Yes, you, together, walk, yes, we'll walk with you.
Jean-Claude is going to slowly turn and go, Cecilia?
Well, no, not that I think we should have done that, just...
Did you see that thing?
It was ancient.
No, I didn't want to fight it.
It's ancient in one bite.
Yeah...
Similarly, like... would you say that, Cecilia?
You see the Bullywog in front of you kind of sits for a moment, leeches into this little haversack that he has on his hip,
and he pulls out this really crusty, muddy badge. It's a merit badge that has a tree on it.
And it says Mud Eater on it, like the little letters on the bottom, and he just...
She looks at it, she goes, is this... are you part of the Adventurers League too?
Oh, it's not... well, it's not mine.
That's very kind of you, thank you so much. We're looking for someone who has a lot of these and points to the badge.
Where did you get it from? Come with you? Okay.
It starts waddling away.
Jean-Claude lees over to Ceilin and goes, they're really accommodating now.
Like, before they were kind of accommodating, but they were a little aggressive, but they're like our buddies right now.
Yeah, it feels kind of weird to talk about them right in front of them.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, fuck.
All good stuff, all positive!
Can you say it's coming? Eventually, as you sort of like crest in or towards the swamp,
there seems to be like a dismounting point, as you see the Bullywug looks around, just for you to follow him, and then just jumps down, attaches himself to a tree,
jumps down to another tree. He's descending, basically, from this 20 foot tall, 15 foot tall tree, and it gets on the ground, and then he just looks up.
I thought you said we shouldn't go down there!
It's good here, okay. All right, give me a second to... how are they going to get down?
She's like, are you going to do it the way he did it?
Celia, listen, there are some things we have to do as adventurers, and I think this is one of it.
And he's going through. Unless there are stairs, which I assume there are not.
There's not?
John-Claude goes, okay, it's never a bad time to mention that I'm afraid to fight.
Wait, really?
Yeah, you know, as the Groven Girls, we don't really climb the trees, we just kind of chill out in the bottom of them.
But you know, there's something we're all about facing off against today.
So I'm going to, and you see him tentatively try to put a foot out, to kind of reach for the tree, but he can't get it, so he's just pulling at the air with his foot,
trying to watch under the tree. If you give me a second, I'll get there. Maybe I should go first, and then I can help you.
You know what? Let's help each other. That's right, Celia, we're a team this way.
Okay. The bully wall comes up underneath you, John-Claude, and just...
Uh, buddy, I might kill you on impact. Wait, how far is the drop?
It's 20 feet! Oh, it's 20 feet!
The fact that John-Claude's scared of heights and it's 20 feet!
He goes, you know what? It's okay, move away. He says to move back to the bully wall. He's like, I'm just going to jump. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm setting my prime.
Kind of high to just jump off.
And a what? And it's... Yes, he's right. Okay. And he like, plucks his nose like he's going to dive.
He goes, shoot out there, Celia. And he...
Good job! Make it a comedic strike!
Oh, John-Claude! And that is a 15!
And he's wearing heavy armor. You land right on your feet, John-Claude, and whoa, that was a little bit forceful, but as you land, like, you're okay. Whoa.
Oh, your legs are numb. I was going to say, probably like his legs are just shaking from the impact of hitting the ground. Oh, no!
You take one point of falling damage. It's halved. That's okay. Because you succeeded. I'll take it. I'll take it.
And then he'll go, okay, Miss Cece, I got you. Oh!
No, no, buddy. What? What? Is that what you were allowed to do? He goes behind a tree. He... You fucking shitted me. He takes out a ladder.
God, fucking dead.
One more thing, it's cool. Are you okay, by the way?
I am so good, and you hear a pop from one of his knees.
The ball he was looking towards, you know, that's what you're supposed to do.
Jean-Claude gives him a look and goes...
Climb down.
He climbed down, no check needed.
Fucking ladder.
Just 20 foot tall. This is a constructed ladder.
And then the bully looks towards you with concern again, Jean-Claude, before walking away a little bit and just watching if you follow, if you're able to use your legs.
I think he definitely, like, his upper body's got the swag, but he's slowly dragging one of...
A bit of a limp. Also, JT, JT in the chat.
Man, if I had a nickel, every time JC didn't have a ladder when he needed one, I'd have two nickels. So throw back to when he couldn't get the ledger on top of the roof.
I think this might become a recurring theme sometime.
Some people are not meant to have ladders in life. JC is one of them.
Anyways, the bully walk continues. It seems like it's going to be a bit of a stretch.
You guys follow him for a little while, so the two of you have anything to inquire about in the meantime.
As you're just venturing through swamps and swatting away mosquitoes.
It's terrible. This place is so muddy.
Their hair is a mess.
There's itchy foliage everywhere. You don't know what just touched you, but it just caused a little spike of an itch.
Bugs are constantly landing on you.
Throughout the time, he's constantly warning you. He's pointing towards places where you see, every time he points at something, there's a crocodile just resting in the swamps, just lounging about in the sun.
He's avoiding it. You're just following him.
Has Cecilia ever seen a crocodile? Because I don't think JC has.
I don't think so. I think they're both like, oh, that's a big frog.
That's a big, that's a big one. There's ticks. That's what Jack Meyers says. There's ticks.
Not the ticks. Oh no. Wait, John Claude is losing his shit if there's ticks on him.
Something crawls up. Oh gosh, John Claude can feel everything crawling on him.
Oh yeah, you definitely hear like a maiden squeal from John Claude when he whacks a tick off him.
Are you alright?
Is it the, is it your back from the wall?
No, it is merely the heat. It's alright. I am myself now. If I start to become not myself.
What the fuck is that?
Just, that's enough. You just hear something like that in the distance.
What the fuck is that? What is that?
And John Claude, please make a perception check for me.
What the fuck is that?
Only John Claude?
10.
Okay, so you guys continue your conversation.
Oh no, he's already got his axe out.
He's like, okay, listen, I grew up in the woods too, but not like these ones, you know?
Like this is muggy and sticky and it's hard to breathe, you know?
And there's giant things in the dirt and things, you know? So, it's okay.
You know, it's kind of prettier than I thought it would be.
Like I thought it would be like really disgusting, but like the trees are actually really pretty.
You know what, Cecilia? That's a great outlook to have.
And you know, some of these flowers, they are quite incredible, you know?
They're very vibrant colors and everything.
One opens up and spits out some kind of gas.
He immediately snaps, whacks it off with his axe.
It shuts?
And as it shuts, it seems strong, as it shuts on your axe.
He's so good. No, no, not my axe.
He's trying to pull back.
You pull it away.
No, check, you just pull it away from the flower. It's a very vibrant, like purple, like purple-green flower.
That's sizable.
He turns the mic while he goes, are you trying to get us killed?
No?
I don't think that would have attacked you unless, you know, you didn't attack first.
I mean, there was the gas though.
Cecilia, you feel something touch the back of the back of your neck real quickly.
He turns.
You turn and see, and you see nothing at first.
And then you feel it against the tip of your nose.
Something repeatedly like tapping against the front of your nose.
But I can't see anything?
You can't see, give me a perception check?
Why is this a horror episode for me?
Timmy, does this have to do with my specialty of perceiving invisible objects?
It is actually, yeah.
Is it really?
Yeah.
So I get plus two to this.
Thanks, level up, 5e.
Thank you, level up.
Nat won.
It would have been a 9.
So you see nothing at first, but you feel this continued feeling.
Did you do that?
Yeah.
As you do that, your hands don't come together.
They go like this, and you feel something slimy.
It's like trying to pull.
As you pull away, all scrunched up, you see unveiling itself in front of you is this gigantic snake.
Its scales are vibrant, constantly shifting in color, orange, purple.
It just kind of looks at you with this curious eyes, not attacking, but it's definitely flicked its tongue at you.
You see that it's continuing to do that at the air that you were just standing in.
It's not going to bite me, is it?
It's like kind of swaying its head.
Do I see this?
Yeah, you see it now.
It's visible.
It's like still on, is it on a branch or the ground?
Yeah, it's on a branch.
It's hanging overhead.
Yeah, she just backs away.
You see it's slowly descending to get itself on the ground, and it wants to start slithering towards the both of you.
That's when the Bullywog goes...
steps in front of the both of you, looks at the both of you and just...
You're going to 1v1 this giant fucking snake, okay?
Don't do it! Tell me twice!
And Chagrin is booking it.
She backs up.
He pulls out this sort of like from his bag, as you see the snake sort of like half way up.
It's a really large, it's a really long snake.
Oh, it's looking at a condor!
You can see like, you can see like probably half its body.
Like you don't know the full length of it because whatever the bottom length of it is still invisible.
It's constantly shifting colors.
The eyes seemingly blink like eyelids go sideways and upwards and downwards.
It has like two sets of eyelids.
You see the Bullywog pulls up from its haversack like this sort of like clay pot.
And the snake seems curious, like flicking its tongue at the air.
And then the Bullywog kind of looks at it.
And throws it right at, projectile throws it right at its head.
That's it?
It shatters against its head.
And you see the Bullywog immediately turns around and just goes...
What the fuck?
Sean Clod is screaming as he's crawling through the underbrush.
He's like, are you fucking shitting me?
You just got butted!
He's waddling running away.
As they're booking it, Sean Clod goes, do you know these fuckers can eat you fucking whole?
They don't even eat you in pieces, they swallow you fucking whole!
Gross.
Really?
AHHHH!
They strangle you fast!
And like Sean Clod is definitely on the verge of tears.
The panic carried in your heart lets you run away even faster.
The adrenaline's pumping.
Much more adrenaline than getting away from the boule earlier.
Why is there still calm music playing in the background?
It's supposed to be pretty calm, I think.
Trust in me.
And then eventually the Bullywog stops, looks back, and just goes...
Pointing on the path.
Sean Clod is breathing heavily.
The humidity does not help, he already sweats very easily.
So he's just dripping, water's just dripping off his face.
And he goes, what the fuck was that?
Croak.
Okay, great.
Was it poisonous?
Oh.
Are you okay? It touched you.
And he like grabs Cecilia's face and just looks it up and down.
It didn't bite me, you know, it just touched my...
Is her nose fine?
It just, maybe she would have wiped by this point, but there's like a little tongue saliva from a snake on there.
But it's not burned her or anything like that?
No, it's not.
Okay, alright. Are we almost there?
He walks again, and after a brief walk he points at a sign.
It's a constructed sign, one that you would see on the road, traveling to a town.
But there's no beaten path here.
There is like vague openings and such, but nothing that obviously tells you where to go.
But there is a posted sign that says, Anura.
Which I will spell, Anura.
Why do we...no, it's Anera. We don't know there.
Anor, Anera, Anura?
Yeah, I knew this was happening.
My brain, ee, Anura.
But the meaning of the word, it's too much, I had to do it.
Gives me bad vibes.
The vibes? We did a vibe check earlier, we're not really...
This is the frog version of Anura.
Sounds too close to Anura.
We're gonna have an Anura version. We're gonna have an Anura, but it's all frogs. I'm gonna make it all frog puns instead.
No.
This bullywog is a member of the Black Guards of Anura.
He's the rebel group trying to take down the Empress.
Okay.
And as he takes you over this hill, you see that actually the area in front of you lights up because the thickets begin to clear as you get into sort of an opening.
The entire area unveils before you as soon as you reach the top of the hill.
Like, seemingly a large constructed sign, like almost man-made.
A sign hanging overhead saying Anura on it in black paint and simple writing.
And you see before you something you wouldn't... Like, something that surprises you. Something you wouldn't think you would see if it was a...
It was like a monster colony. Like, almost man-made structures, docks built into this very large circular lake in front of you with a waterfall sort of back-ending it.
Docks with seemingly like boats, buildings.
But something strikes you as you look around to these buildings. They seem very primitive, like they weren't built skillfully.
But a lot of them have names of buildings that you saw in Lundi's Acre in the town with the adventure skilled.
Oh, that's so cute! It's like a mini...
Yeah, it is a mini version of the place.
You even see the valorous, which is spelled wrong, at vent.
And then it cuts off because they use too much letters on the board.
Oh no!
This is adorable!
Is there the house with the waffle but not burnt down?
Yeah, is there a house with a waffle?
There is a house with a waffle.
And it's not burnt down.
Oh my god.
You see the yellow-gold structure.
It's painted very...
It's definitely not as colorful.
Only the house of waffle seems to have any sort of color on it.
But it's like wooden planks and sparsely nailed.
This seems like a very recreation of the town.
Heading in, you see multiple Bullywogs traversing the town.
From what the size of the town suggests, you would think there would be more people.
But the population seems kind of sparse at the moment.
Is it only Bullywogs?
It's only Bullywogs.
But on that topic, bringing you towards the end of the town, you see that there is a tent.
A purple tent that's half-spherical.
With white-purple accoutrements.
It's a really detailed extra tent.
I was going to say, this is glamping, clearly.
Yeah, it's glamping.
A spit with a fire on it is slowly turning a crocodile.
It's turning by itself, too, is the thing.
Okay, so magic user.
You see it's located next to two stumps.
You see there's a coffee.
It's gotten cold on one of them next to a book.
And just like, yeah, someone's lived here.
And the Bullywog approaches the tent and just smacks the flap.
And he goes, you hear a voice goes, oh yes, one second.
Goodness gracious.
Oh, Jeremy Jr. Hello.
His name is Jeremy Jr.
And you see, putting on his glasses as he's going out, his little circular,
small glasses that are of Ponce-nay in nature.
I know what that means, by the way, Ponce-nay, it's really fancy.
I don't.
The glasses that are a chain, and they pinch your nose.
That's how you wear them.
Theodore Roosevelt glasses with a sort of faded olive green hair that's kind of
spiky and messy in a few places.
Some white, some white welted hair.
A very Eldon sort of man comes out wearing, he has a small little net cap on the
very top of his head.
And he's wearing like a researcher's gear, he has a coat on that's already covered in mud.
And hanging from his hip is like a jar with a tadpole swimming around in it.
You see this very, this older man with spiky eyebrows and everything comes out,
opens up a tent.
Hello, Jeremy Jr.
Have you brought a report to me?
Oh, well hello there.
Hi.
To whom do I, oh goodness, I'm not very presentable right now.
This is kind of nancy.
How was, were you kidnapped?
Were you brought here against your will?
Sorry about that.
I tried to, but this time we came willingly, so.
You came willingly?
That's absolutely the best case scenario.
Oh boy.
We love a good consensual kidnapping around these parts.
Hello there.
Hi.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Hello, I am going to be your main negotiator.
I am your head kidnapper, if you will.
Okay.
All right.
No, no, no, no.
Jean-Claude is going to step in and go, this is not the kidnapping.
No, no, no.
We made a choice.
Oh, you're adults.
Right, right, right.
Yes, we're fucking adults.
Adults napping.
Adults sleeping.
No, not even, no, none of that.
We weren't kidnapped.
We weren't stolen.
Were we kidnapped?
No.
Do you want to be?
I can arrange for that to happen.
Are you kidnapping people?
Not me, per se, it's unnecessary.
We are from the Adventurers League.
All right, that's a little bit different.
Okay.
Well, Adventurers League people, hopefully, what's your quest again?
It's not to exterminate all the Bullywogs, right?
What the fuck?
No.
Is that nobody a quest?
These are two dudes.
And he points to Jeremy Jr.
Yeah, they talked like they knew you.
He kind of rubs Jeremy Jr.
And you see multiple Bullywogs are kind of surrounding, because now you guys are Adventurers,
and the whole group has completely surrounded you all now.
And he looks around as you see all the Bullywogs are looking towards him.
And he goes, well, we are in a peculiar situation that requires a bit of gentility.
First of all, may I please have your names and what exactly is your task here?
I'm Cecilia, and that's Jean-Claude.
And I'm Yim.
Are you fucking shitting me?
You turn and then you look between the both of you and you see Yim there with his big backpack smiling, beaming.
Jean-Claude is going to reach down and grab this, lift this kid up by the backpack and turn him to him and go,
What are you doing?
Adventuring.
When did you get here?
How did you find us?
I followed you.
Through everything?
I'm a really good tree climber.
Oh my God, he's going to put him on his back.
Stay down.
Can I get off now?
No.
Alright, Cecilia, Jean-Claude, Yim.
To be honest, I didn't see how he just kind of showed up. That's kind of crazy.
What are you? Are you some kind of fake, which Yim?
I'm a boy.
Yeah, right.
You know, we brought you back because we were trying to get you to safety, remember?
I'm safe, yeah.
But this is a great adventure, and plus, I helped you. You got extra points because of me, right?
You are not going to bargain with us right now.
I promise I'm going to be really good, plus you two are fledglings. You guys don't know what you're doing and need a little bit of help.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
How's your back?
Fuck.
Wait, Yim, did you see that we... never mind, that's not important right now.
Oh my god, how time goes.
Defeated the other Hulk?
So that's okay that we didn't come back with any evidence, right?
I'm a witness.
Oh, whatever.
With the child still over his shoulder, Jean-Claude will go, Monsieur, as my compatriot mentioned, I am Jean-Claude Boucheron of the Grimgarde.
It is part of my job nationwide to protect our forests and the creatures that live in them.
I can assure you, our mission is not in any way to harm, and he points to the Bullywogs, them in any way.
We are looking for his scout leader, the boy still on his shoulder.
Willa, who has gone missing, and we're trying to... and also we have to do something.
Did you see those creatures in the... what was it, the Boulay?
Ah, yes, the Boulay, yes.
Is that Mettra?
It's pronounced Boulay, by the way, not Boulette, like everyone else says.
They say Boulette at the Adventurers League.
Well, they're wrong. They're typically... they are typically very wrong all the time, yes.
I sense a bit of animosity. We recently just joined, so...
Oh, sorry, Adventurers League.
No, no, no, no, I was going to say, is everything cool with you guys?
I thought they sounded like it was chill.
Yeah, I said it sounds like you were one of them.
It sounded like the way they talked about you.
Yes, typically, yes, typically, yes.
I just have a certain ascertainment towards Adventurers and how they pronounce things all the time.
Monsters, it's a very... all monsters have a very history past here, and...
and everyone that use their silly little common tongue to think, to see what they see and say it the way they say it, but it's not right.
It's just not right. It's just not right.
So, so that's what you're more concerned about, is the way we pronounce things.
No, I'm really concerned about many other things. My back paramount about all of them.
I've heard you also had back problems. I tried yoga. I discovered that.
I've taught the Boulayworks here yoga, and it's been very good.
Have you seen Willa? Do you know who Willa is?
Yes, yes, right, right, right.
So, first of all, my name is Jeremy Von Fuzzler.
I am a law keeper, researcher, adventurer, scientist, animalist, everything you can imagine.
And these lovely Boulayworks have been my... have been my family for the past few years.
Now, I have dedicated myself to these Boulayworks, and you see...
Well, first I should actually get into the Willa stuff, because that seems a lot more pertinent than Hanover, I'm being completely honest.
Oh boy. We've got time, we've got time.
That's why the kidnapping thing...
Danger. Yes, that's why I've been trying to do the kidnapping thing. I'm not very good at it.
You've been trying to steal people?
Alright, so...
Right, alright, I realize...
This is not sounding good.
No, no, no, it'll sound better.
Because now I have a legitimate child with me that you could kidnap.
I mean... I mean, that's the proper way. I... kidnap a kid. I mean, kid is in the name, is in the word, kidnap.
Anyways, so...
I think they're gonna have to find a goat, too.
Isn't that for me?
Oh, ceiling goats. Ah, my youth.
Anyways... Cecilia Jean-Claude Yim Willa Brandington is an absolute danger.
You see, this Bollywog society that has been so carefully...
...self-socializing themselves for the past few years, which is an anomaly among Bollywogs...
...has been sort of preyed upon by a new, fiercer creature.
Her name is Queen Grindunc.
A large female Bollywog has come into the fray and has seemingly begun to try and take over the society that's been built here.
Now, in order for you to understand this, I must first explain Bollywogs and their culture.
Now, Bolly... now you look around you and you have seen Bollywogs before, correct?
First time I saw them was on the road earlier.
Typically they are five to six feet tall, but here they are just above our little waist.
These Bollywogs are much smaller than the ones you find in other swaps.
This is a variant of the Bollywogs called Croakers.
And because of their size, they are...
...just in other societies they would find themselves to be in the very lowest parts of...
...the very lowest echelon of a Bollywog culture.
Now, Bollywogs, they serve... they fill no ecological niche.
And well, because of their names you could probably assume that they're Bollies.
I was pushed by one once. It hurt.
This one was nice. He indicates Jeremy Jr.
Oh, Jeremy Jr. is very sweet. Everyone here except for Kyle and Squibbles are very sweet.
Rivet. Yes, Squibbles, I'm just being completely honest.
Is it because he doesn't like the name you call him?
No, that's his name. I know all of their names.
Oh. You see Kyle and Squibbles?
You look to Skye and Squibbles and you see Mohawks. They have little... not hair...
...but like mud-packed, hardened Mohawks.
And one of them kind of like looks at you, Jean-Claude, and just goes...
Oh, God, they're teenagers.
He goes, Language, you!
Hey, don't mind Squibbles. He always picks a fight with you.
And he throws a pebble at you, Jean-Claude.
I think it changed Safi armor.
Rivet.
Jean-Claude raises an eye for help.
Not today, kid. Not today.
And he...
You should be careful about being like rebellious. He tried to arrest me when he thought I was rebellious.
Okay, Cecilia, so I apologize for that. It, at the time, I was making a very tough call.
Because the reason why I was frightened about you all, since you're from the Adventurers Guild, is because typically beginner adventurers find themselves at odds with the local...
...with local nuisances, and Bullywogs seems to find themselves on that end of the spectrum.
You see, Bullywogs, typically, they are ruled in a sort of power economy.
They have to... they have the lord over their ecosystem.
And they don't care about the effects they have on it. They hunt and kill for sport, and cause ruin wherever they go.
And when they drain a place of all of its resources, they either move somewhere else or turn to cannibalism.
What? Jean-Claude with the cannibalism is like...
But above all, Bullywogs have a terrible, terrible inferiority complex.
Now, but something wonderful happened here.
It says, Bullywogs, these...
...just to all of them, wanting...
...not only peacefully observing society from afar, but attempting to mimic it on their own.
I had brought myself here to teach them language, to socialize and to learn about them.
But the last society here that's been carefully built over the last eight years, which is a lot of years, that's seven more than one year...
Cecilia's the meme of the woman doing math in the air.
I bet this guy's secretly evil.
...was brought upon...
...was brought when a queen Bullywog came over.
Bullywogs, they adhere to a power hierarchy.
And some of them were enchanted to go along and follow underneath this queen.
Some of them remained here.
Tune to the senses.
Okay, but now here's the issue at hand.
Willa was absolutely kidnapped by the Queen Grindunk and her Bullywogs.
And, yeah, they're going to sacrifice her.
What?
You could have led with...
We saw other people had been kidnapped too. We found that wagon, remember?
What happened to those people?
They weren't...they weren't kidnapped by my Bullywogs.
That means it's adding up.
So where are they? Where do we need to go?
They're in a town they built themselves called Coolanura. It's down the river.
Wait, so you have knowledge of these other Bullywogs, not the Krokers, not these guys, you know, he indicates the small group that he's with.
Sacrificing innocent people and you didn't think to let someone know or send a message?
Anything? Because these guys get a bad rap, he points to the Krokers, for those ones.
I was fearful at first.
The event...Bullywogs are such a common enemy of an adventurous league that I thought that if they were to get word that one group of Bullywogs was bad, they would try to eradicate the other.
I had made a tentative agreement with the other culture, even though I am banned from Coolanura,
that if we were to bring to them a sacrifice, that they would...let's go with the ones I requested to replace the ones.
Even though, just to be clear, there was a plan, a decoy thing, I was hoping we would find bombs or something so we could stage a daring rescue!
And rescue all of the hostages in Queen Grindung's whatever her pond.
But these Bullywogs are not attuned to violence, they don't want to kidnap anyone, they don't want to hurt anyone.
I feel like kidnapping people also isn't the way to do a plan, you know?
Well, I'm sorry, I was under a lot of pressure!
Dropknot's gonna go, hold on, this might still work, and he looks to Cecilia, you need the decoy? He indicates between two of them.
We don't have any bombs though.
We don't, but we have these, and he flexes his muscles, guns, and it sacks.
He is really strong.
It's like when I look in the mirror and I flex as well, I can see it, it's like a mirror in front of me.
Easy, old man.
I work out. I'm buff, baby.
Okay, so let me get this straight. Why is she sacrificing these people? What is the point of this?
The Bullywogs, some of them are secular in their culture, they follow someone, including the croakers here,
they follow the god of the Bullywogs called Ramanos.
A very, very large frog, if you took out his udder and stretched it out, it would go ten miles wide.
He's called the sleeping god because he sleeps, and he just kind of sits there all day with his mouth open,
hoping food just comes in his mouth.
There's too many gods. There's just too many gods.
Divine Sparks just, pleasant, plenty.
Anyways.
What?
That's another subject completely.
But sacrifices in Bullywog cultures is pretty common though, so it's not like it's an anomaly, at least.
Does it have to be a person or could it be, for example, like a bullye?
Correct me if I'm wrong, sir.
Isn't it invasive species, these large creatures that we encountered ourselves, is that common to this area?
Oh, the Bully?
Yes.
I should put this up front.
That is the queen's pet, the Bully.
What?
His name is Bullywog.
And that is the exact reason why that force can't really be used because of the Bullywog.
That's her pet?
Yes, that is her...that's something very fascinating, I find.
The symbiotic relationship between not a natural creature and a very egotistical frog person.
Do people usually keep those things as pets?
No.
How do you tame something like that?
I have no earthly idea.
I would love to research it, but the lives of the people that they have is much more my concern at the moment.
Yeah.
When did she come into power?
How did this happen?
It happened mere months ago.
She had arrived on the Bully itself.
It seemed very dog-like to her.
Very affectionate, in a way, for some reason.
But many were just drawn to her power already.
Now, if it was a normal Bullywog, this would not have happened.
This society has been carefully cultivated and socialized away from the Bullywog power structure.
But there was this immediate draw to her.
And then they built Kulanora right down the river.
I haven't run to see it yet.
Who named Kulanora?
The Queen did.
The Queen named it.
She's pathetic.
This is clearly the Kulanora, and he nods at all the Krokars.
They throw their arms up.
Kindness over cruelty.
So what should we do to try to get them back?
Do we need to investigate first, or do you think you can do your plan?
There is...
Are we gonna get eaten by a Bley?
Bley.
Like, walk up?
Choclod's eyes slide over to Jeremy and goes, she can call it what she wants.
It's Bley, though.
I don't want to say it wrong.
Whatever you and Cecilia eyes at the bits.
Choclod's going over.
He looks up at you.
He has a fire beneath those eyes for some reason.
It's pronounced...
Bley.
Choclod doesn't say this aloud, but he's like, I'm gonna kick this nerd's ass if he keeps it up.
You better start trying.
I'm very pushable.
See, these two old guys are gonna cry.
But what are we gonna do?
Oh, right.
The important thing.
How do we save the people?
I've been carefully planning a gambit.
I have some turncoats within the other ranks, so I'm informed every day about the conditions of the captives.
From what I know, they are completely fine.
They're actually being fed.
They are kept in captivity, however, but apparently some of the stuff that I taught them, like how to make banana leaf rice and such, has come really well into keeping captives.
So at least the hospitality has gone up.
But I worry what happens if we go over there and chaos happens.
It seems to be a heavily guarded area.
And to be honest, the plan that I had was a very risky gambit, and I can't be certain that no one would get hurt.
But there is something that I am very aware about in the local area that I think would be very befitting of adventurers to try.
Yes.
Jeremy Jr. and Tunk points at another bully.
And not JT.
Jeremy Jr. and Tunk can take you to the place tomorrow.
I don't know, JT seems like a cool guy.
Yeah, he's alright.
I like him. I like him. I like him.
Jeremy Jr. and Tunk, also the initials are JT, so that's actually kind of a plus.
It's like you have him here with you anyways.
There is a sunken ruin in the muddier parts of Lundi's marsh.
And from what I've been told by the local croakers ever since I've settled here,
there is a stone located deep within the heart of this ruin called the Stone of Tongues.
And you see as he says Stone of Tongues, you hear like, ooo, like croaks and like, ooo, like from all the bullywogs.
This item is believed to be created and placed here by the great Ramanos himself.
Perhaps if that item was retrieved, we would be able to convince the other bullywogs to switch allegiances.
Something, something we have created from their very own deity.
I myself have created progress inside of this dungeon, but I do not know how long it goes.
And Squiggles here got hit by a trap.
You see Squiggles kind of like shows off his like, pulls up on his shirt.
And there's like a very small cut on there.
It was a dart.
Oh, gross.
Well, we could, it's a dungeon. We could definitely do that.
That's like, that's like really adventurous stuff. Delmyra's done that so many times, you know.
Yumeco's dungeon?
No!
I brought my book!
I don't care about your book.
Just how to dungeon dive for beginners.
We literally brought you back so that you wouldn't come, so you'd be safe.
Well, I'm here anyways.
Fine. Okay, how far is this dungeon?
And also, if we are able to convince the bullywogs of the other tribe of the Stone of Tanks, that still leaves the queen and the giant bully.
I was hoping that the combined population, the combined numbers of the bullywogs, because you can see that there are many pods, there are many ponds here.
Oh, sorry, terminology, ponds refer to 40 bullywogs.
There are many ponds here. It's much like how a group of crows is called a murder.
This is actually real, by the way.
Okay, I suppose to fake.
He says, the ruin is a far distance away and it's a harrowing journey to get there.
Which is why I must insist that you go tomorrow at the earliest light possible.
When is the sacrifice?
I'm not sure.
He says, time is not a luxury that we have, but I do not want anyone to die, especially fledgling adventurers.
Has the adventurers league tried to harm bullywogs like this, indicates the croakers, in the past?
There is an understanding. The adventurers league here, at the very least, are very aware of the croakers' presence and my relation to them.
But, adventurers leagues in other places have a terrible attack on sites, bullywogs are the enemy approach.
And I'm afraid that if people are killed or people are sacrificed, then the opinions on the croakers here will turn sour.
Are you sure we can't just go straight to the dungeon, that we have to wait till the morning?
Because it seems like we don't really have the time to wait around.
What I want above all is your safety. If you wish to go now, if you want to go as early as possible, that I think has the least level of danger, then I would say the night time.
But there are many dangerous creatures inhabiting these swamps. Some of the trees come alive.
Well, we've got this kid, and he jiggles him on his shoulder. And you know, Jeremy Jr. is a great guide.
I have no doubt that they will get you there. But I just do not want any harm to come there. I don't want any unnecessary harm.
But then again, these are the risks that have been brought upon by this terrible situation. But I am thankful that the both of you are here all the same.
I'm pretty sure the only harm that will come will be to the Queen.
I guess we should probably bring him back home, huh?
No.
He looks at silly girls. That's more time for us to go back and drop him off. Exactly.
Will he be safe here? I asked Jeremy.
Oh, most certainly. The Croakers here will protect him with their life.
Would you stay here though, she says to him.
Can I come? That's a no.
I promise I'm really good. And plus, I really know how to survive in the wilderness.
No offense to you, Jean-Claude, but it just kind of looks like, you know...
It looks like what?
It looks like what, you?
I mean Cecilia too.
It looks like what?
Yeah, what's going on kid? Come on, speak up.
Jean-Claude will put him down at this point.
You need some knowledge.
I have a lot of knowledge about this kind of stuff.
Would the Adventurers let you go?
Can I come?
They would have told you no, wouldn't they?
I want to help Willa too.
Yeah.
If any danger comes up, I won't get in the way.
You better. You better use that tree climbing thing. And Jean-Claude pokes his badge.
He turns to Cecilia and goes, he's going to follow us anyway. He followed us all through that.
I ran away from home too, so I guess it's kind of hypocritical for me to tell him to stay home.
You ran away from home? Can you tell me about it? Did it work out? I'm hoping it works out for me.
I'm in the process, so...
How far did you run?
So anyway...
Yeah, anyways...
So we could set out now. Hydrate!
We're going to hydrate. Just with his voice.
Oh gosh. I haven't even put in the thing yet.
JT's like...
Is that Pepsi? Or Diet?
Pepsi.
Oh, snack break too. You guys have snacks?
I do in my fridge.
Yeah, I got honey roasted nuts.
I'll get my snacks on the break.
Timmy's the one who wrote snack break.
Snack break for me!
Oh gosh.
How do they taste?
Honey roasted.
Honey roasted are yummy, I'm not gonna lie.
Okay, I need to start eating when you guys start talking to each other.
Anyways...
I'm just gonna, every time you take a bite, I'm gonna be like, what do you think about that yip?
Oh! Yip? Cool!
Anyways...
Oh shit, I had a theme song and I didn't get to play it for this one because I was too invested in the fucking scene.
No more theme songs. We're good.
Okay, anyways...
No, please. No.
No.
You like my riff?
It's me.
John Claus already giving up.
Okay, he goes...
If you need some extra supplies to be on your way, I can provide...
I have brewed some natural concoctions from the gifts of nature around us.
Sure, take anything you can get.
Yeah, but we should head out soon.
Right.
Thank you. Thank you both again, by the way.
I must further tend to the situation here and continue to keep my ear close to the situation.
And cool, Enora.
And when you...
When you have a moment, could you give us the layout of cool, Enora?
Oh, absolutely, yes.
Is it just like this one but newer?
Yes, yes.
They could've just named it something else. They just took the name. I gave it and just put cool in front of it.
Yeah, they're definitely bullies, that is for sure.
I'm just saying...
There's a bit of mystery to it because every time I ask my turncoats, is it really cool?
They don't say anything and they're trying to preserve my feelings.
Maybe you should name this city Cool-er, Enora.
Maybe some of them will come back that way.
If it's all just peer pressure.
But then what is Enora? Where's Enora? Enora's gone.
It fell to time.
That is the lower for you to construct, my best.
That is something that my daughter had told me to do to get better with the times.
Your daughter, does she live close by?
Oh yes, I freak. But my daughter is not close.
No, no, no, no. She's in...
She's in Slyria.
The Slyrian Empire?
Yes.
Why is she all the way over there?
Oh, that's where we live.
Oh, my fucking back.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Oh, son of a fucking bitch.
Oh, this is real pain.
Do you need a moment? Do you need a moment? Should we go and break?
No, no, it's fine. I don't need a break.
You're from the Slyrian Empire? I heard it's kind of tough over there.
Oh, it's... It's okay.
Didn't we? Didn't Stellar tell us?
We've had a lot of people from the Slyrian Empire lately.
Did Stellar tell us that she was from there or did she only tell Cecilia? I can't remember if Jean-Claude knows.
She told both of us.
Yes.
We have a friend from there.
Mm-hmm.
It'd be a super crazy, kooky coincidence if it was my... if it was my daughter.
I don't think...
Is your daughter a tiefling?
No.
Well, but...
Wait, hold on. Insight. Insight. What the fuck was that?
No, he's obviously joking.
Oh, he's fucking around. Okay.
She's like, plus her dad was... I can't say. But...
Oh, yeah. No, her dad is not two.
Huh. Wait. Is her dad named Bernard?
I don't know her dad's name, actually. She just...
Oh, my god.
I don't want to talk about Bernard either.
Wait, is that the guy I'm supposed to beat up?
No, no.
Anyways.
Okay.
Allow me to... I'm going to provide you with a map and some natural concoctions.
They stink, but... you know, this entire place stinks.
No offense to them. You can say that they stink. They know it.
According to the Pollywugs.
They're like pretty chill people.
Anyways, please follow me.
Yim, by the way, you are a fledgling, yes? I see that you have the badges.
Yes, I'm a Valor Scout.
And Willa is your... she was my chaperone. Yes.
Just... unfortunate.
Well, you should be safe alongside the journey if you are going along, too.
Just... actually, you should not be going along, to be honest, if I'm being completely honest.
No, I'm really good. I'm awesome. Please.
You convinced me.
You're the least of my responsibility, apparently.
It's not blood groans.
He heads over to his tent, and as you come over, you see that it's like...
This place has barely any space. It's like stood up like little pop-up tables.
And a sleeping bag is like... it's not even laid out straight. It is kind of like curled up in the corner.
You don't know where this guy sleeps in here, to be honest.
But there's just a massive array of glass bottles, of like...
Glass bottles, notebooks, seemingly...
Like material used to press dead bugs into bulk and to laminate them and such.
It's a lorekeeper's dream in here.
Every told researcher needs more is in here.
But you see on his little table a mortar and pestle. It has a detached lizard tail in there.
There is a still blinking eyeball that is like...
That is like in the mortar and pestle like he was about to smash it. It's still blinking.
It makes me think of Charles.
Don't show him Charles!
Anyways...
Here you go. He reaches over towards some concoctions.
He has a very palatable, very appetizing muddy cloudy brown.
With sediment hanging over on the top of it.
He puts four down in front of you.
This should give you a temporary boost in energy.
It uses some of the nutrient-densed mud found around the swamps. It's actually very rare.
If you don't mind the taste, I actually recommend drinking one now.
Of mud?
Don't worry, there's edible stuff. Yes, absolutely.
It comes down in a look the same coming out.
Oh my god!
Claude is in shock!
What does it do exactly? Does it give us energy?
Yes, it gives you five temporary hit points and five hit points.
What is he holding?
That's what it does mechanically.
Five temporary hit points and it restores five hit points.
I didn't take any hits right now.
Well, we have one point of damage.
Oh, that's right. I have one point of damage from falling.
I'd rather wait.
We would definitely appreciate these and we would take them for sure.
But we really should get going.
So we don't really have time to, you know, zip around.
This is the only map, the furthest completed map that I have.
You have great guides with you, but if anything happens, rely on this as a pinch.
And you have this huge rolled up map.
Alright, thank you.
I believe in you heroes. That's what all the old men say in all the books.
Yeah, they do.
I have cooking knives too if you need weapons. You brought your own, right?
Yeah.
John Clod looks at the giant axe strapped to his back and I think we're good.
Alright.
Sweetie McGitty. That's pretty nice.
Alright.
Well, not to put any pressure on you, but like there's, you know,
people's lives are completely contingent on how well you do.
Okay, I'm going to leave.
I'm going to leave from the tent.
Because pretty sure Willa has like a child.
Okay, shut up!
What are you saying?
Stop!
As they shout as they're on their way out.
I have a film.
Yim goes, she doesn't have a child. She has two.
Okay, stop!
I believe everyone do shish!
Where are they?
Oh, they're my friends.
They're my age.
Stop!
So, because this is on me too.
Yeah, it is on you.
You said to come with us, this is one of the ventures.
You have responsibility for people's lives.
Not very fun, is it?
I love this.
Aaaaaaah!
My sister is, she's a really, really good adventurer.
And I bet you'd really like hanging out with her.
Oh really?
She has lots of really cool stories, yeah.
But you are hanging out with one of the coolest clerics around.
Cecilia?
She's, you know, no better training than from her.
She is really cool.
Isn't she? You haven't seen her in action, let me tell you.
This girl, powerful, powerful lady.
I did see her in action. She was...
That's why you've been following us.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Someone's just talking.
You know what, Andron? Claude's really, really strong.
He killed this giant shadow monster that tried to kill me once.
Did you turn on the light?
It was...
Actually, I did.
He's genuinely asking.
He's like, I actually did turn on the light, Cecilia.
It was daytime, but then everything turned dark,
and only we could see the moon out, and it turned like it was nighttime,
and then we got attacked by the shadows, and that's how we met.
But this turned on the light, and he taps on his sword,
and his bracelet jangles as he taps on it.
That turned on the light, though, so technically we did turn on the light.
I mean, I already thought you were cool, but now you're really, really cool.
See? So, you know, you're with the best of company.
Now, Cecilia, I couldn't help but notice.
You might have mumbled something under your breath about that man back there,
but do you think he's suspicious?
I don't think so.
Jenny thought so, though.
Because, because, because,
Ombra-Holks and Belettes were like man-influenced creatures,
and this seems like exactly like a, like what if this is all like a social experiment?
You know, with the social experiment of the Bullywugs culture and stuff.
Like fucking with them, huh?
And then one of the snakes, too, was also an experiment, and that's why it turns invisible.
Well, that's what I was trying to figure out, too.
All these creatures are kind of weird.
Oh, well, the snake is just, we have fantasy. It's a fantasy monster.
Yeah, I thought that, too, but a lot of times when you bring up small things like that,
they end up, if I try to brush it off or something, a lot of times it comes up and it isn't a thing.
Go ahead, go ahead. Brush it off.
I need you to brush it off, Jenny.
I need Jenny. Jenny.
Jenny, listen.
Brush it off.
Never in Timmy's games.
Well, I guess if he's trustworthy, I mean, we have to do, we have to do.
Now, I probably should have asked, what the fuck does this Stone of Tongues do?
We could use the saddlebag.
Oh, good idea.
Hey, Yim, wanna see something cool?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, should we have him do it?
Oh.
He gets the vision and explains it to us?
Oh, no, maybe not. Or would that be bad?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
Just listen, just listen. Cecilia, you take the lead.
Okay. She will, yeah, she'll cast the legend lore on the saddlebag, which I believe is five points.
Yes.
Out of the eight. And she, she'll focus on the Stone of Tongues.
You see the griffin's bag, the griffin bag comes, the eyes come to, the eyes come to light on it.
And as this, as his bag lights, as his bag lights up and you see the rip, the golden trim, the ropes that take the, like the knots that secure the bag begins to light up.
It hasn't, it hasn't done this before. You cast the legend lore once before.
But you just received information in your mind.
But this time you see the bag, bag begins to float in the air.
And this has not happened before.
It's starting to float.
Oh, no.
And you see the, you see the, you see the bulio bugs are like, like pointing towards it.
It doesn't normally happen, she said.
And you see, you see the eyes kind of like looks towards you, the both of you. And it goes, hello there.
So we haven't gone properly acquainted with one another.
I am Thaddeus.
We haven't probably spoken to one another, actually.
I was just kind of gifted away with one of my most trusted possessions.
Yeah, we talked a little bit, but you seemed kind of busy.
We're walking through a swamp right now.
Yes, I notice. And I can't have any of the, can't have any of the humidity reach into the bag because it might spoil some of the magical items in here.
So let's just be a bit more cautious about where we're going and what we're opening.
Wild.
All right, so you were asking me, you were asking me about Jean-Claude?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Because he's going to continue.
He's talking back.
Oh, have you not talked to him before?
I can't remember, but this is trippy enough. Please take over, Cecilia, please, please.
No.
Yes.
It says, stone of tongues was an item that was actually created by, it says, by a banished
archmage who had situated herself within Lundi's Acre, it says, hundreds of years ago.
It says, she had created many, she had created many arcane objects of varying amounts of
danger to the local environment, and she saw fit to upend and create and detest her objects
here.
That is why Lundi's Acre is what it is now.
That is why it is a swamp.
The stone, it says, the stone of tongues is an item that when held allows you to understand
all languages when attuned to it.
It goes, and it's currently nestled deep within the heart, it says, of the Archmage's
Lair.
It goes, I'm warning you, however, the place is flooded, and it is crawling with dangers.
Those nasty creatures have inhabited themselves within the very depths of the dungeons.
That's about it.
That's the one we get into the nitty gritty of it.
Do you know what the Archmage's name was?
Yes.
Her name was Latvera.
Because, and she drew, and with her very objects, she drew the tides up.
She drew moisture and multiplied it in the area surrounding.
It is not a rare occurrence that places this far from the coastline can become swamp-like
in nature, but this place is very different in that regard.
Arcane has marred much of these lands.
What's happened to her?
Well, she's passed.
It's deeper than the heart, driven, consumed by her own madness.
This music's way too happy for that.
She was consumed by her own madness, and for her own drive for Arcane knowledge.
A common tale.
So there's probably like magical traps and things inside there?
Yes.
Archmages go great lengths to protect the knowledge they hold very dear.
There might be other things in there too, huh?
Things of value, you mean?
I wonder why the Stone of Tarns they interpreted as to be something from their god.
Yeah.
Or if that was true.
Sean Codd goes, what do you mean?
I mean, he seemed like a really nice guy, but what if he just wants it?
For himself?
It's just, all it can do is just speak in different languages, right?
Well, that's pretty amazing, isn't it?
Yeah, but like, you can't shoot lasers or anything, right?
Do you know why they, why Bullyworks might think that their god made it?
I'm afraid I cannot, I cannot expound on local superstitions and such.
Only the objective history of such things.
Then objectively, do the Bullyworks believe that?
That's historical.
I don't know.
Okay, thanks.
I can ask one of the smarter griffins.
No, no, no, you're really smart.
We are so glad to have you, your question.
Thank you, that's very kind of you.
I really do, I really am trying my best.
We see it, we see it, we believe you.
You've been a great help to us so far, and we appreciate your continued support in the
future.
I should also tell you of my other services to you, did the Dwarven Man tell you about
what, about the other things that I can do?
You can identify something?
I can provide you with my services.
You told me all about it.
Oh crafting, just potions and such.
Yeah, like turning them in.
Yes you can turn, you can sell them to me, and you can also buy, you can buy magical
objects from me, even though they are more expensive than the material plane, but the
convenience is there.
Lesser healing potions go for 75 gold pieces.
You want to buy some now Cecilia?
Um, well we still have-
Strong Clawed shakes the mud vial, I don't really-
I have two greater healing potions still, we used all the lesser ones.
I'm just feeling, I'm just wondering, do you think, you mentioned this dungeon, yeah,
is it gonna be, can we handle this?
I know not your aptitude, but it is obvious that you are here for a reason.
That's what I like to hear, Thaddeus.
I believe in you, and I will assist you in any way that I can.
And that's why you are a Saddlebag.
Right.
Saddlebag.
Oh no!
Well he's a...
Griffin.
Griffin!
Griffin, wait, are you trapped in this Saddlebag?
I am in, I am in another plane of existence, yes, I am in Mechanis.
Do you want to be free?
Well I can be free, whatever I want.
I am a Demi-God, I can travel freely as I please.
Oh wow.
I look at Yim to see how he's been taking hold of this.
He's like, this is cool.
Well, you're our favorite Demi-God.
Wait, so if you are a Demi-God, then would you know of Ramanos?
Yes I am, yes, of the objective history of Ramanos, the sleeping god, who has been asleep
for over twenty, thirty-two thousand years.
He hangs with his mouth open, hoping food will fall in and...
Well he's, he's dead.
He's been dead.
But he's worshipped.
Dead?
Oh.
Did they know?
Is he an actual god, or is he just like a guy?
Oh he was...
He wasn't a guy, that's not the word for it.
He was a god, yes, and he's still worshipped very heavily.
But he's dead.
Yes, but you could be dead and still have godhood.
Ah.
And gods can die?
Yes, absolutely.
Many gods have died.
And they can still be worshipped?
Yes.
It is often when someone dies that the worship of the memory becomes stronger.
That is very true for all mortal life, as well.
Jean-Claude's definitely brain is starting to hurt at this point.
He goes, ah yeah, makes sense.
If you also need me to explain, Augustus pokes his head out.
Hello, Augustus.
Hello, Thaddeus.
Cecilia.
Jean-Claude.
You're the cat and you can talk.
Oh, this is Yim.
Hello Yim.
Yeah, they met briefly.
Yeah, he can talk.
Many of our friends can talk.
Yeah, I think that's the...
I want to write in my dream journal about this.
Do you want to meet everyone else in the bag?
Or is that not...
I don't know.
I think Atheist might be a little too much right now.
For who?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Show me the little bitch.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Anyways, we're not there yet.
I came here and you were in a swamp.
Don't open this bag, ever.
You want an item?
You ask for it.
I'll give it to you.
Yes, Lord Atheist.
God damn right.
Are we close enough after this?
How close are we to...
Oh, this is going to be a journey.
This is going to be far.
Oh, wow.
Okay, so we're walking for a while then.
Yeah, you guys start and you see two bullywugs begin to...
There's Jeremy Jr. and Tunk, a fairly larger bullywug with a large...
He has a makeshift shield and a rock axe hanging on his back.
And he looks at you, Jean-Claude and Cecilia, and he just goes...
Which is nice to meet you in sign language.
Oh!
Jean-Claude goes, uh, hi, I'm JC.
I'm Cecilia.
Tunk, he says that.
He says we're...
Oh, Jean-Claude was really surprised.
Do you speak common?
Yeah.
What?
Good teacher.
Jeremy?
Yes.
That's really impressive.
Are we swangety?
What?
Are we swangety?
I didn't know that...
Cecilia, help.
Good?
We go?
Are we ready to go?
Yeah.
I thought we were going this whole time.
Follow me!
Let's do this!
Jean-Claude is in shock once more.
He's exhausted.
Yeah.
You were walking towards the edge of the civilization.
As he's walking, he's swinging his arms.
He just goes, Excel, Sion!
This bully walk.
Wasn't that at the Adventurers League?
He turns to Cecilia.
That sounds like something.
We are the Adventurers League!
No!
And he just goes, 5,000 points?
Silver Adventurer.
Are you a Silver Adventurer, Tonk?
He turns around, thumbs up, wink.
Wow!
I am pretty good.
I'm at 21.
You're tiny little fledglings!
You're so small.
Tonk?
Tiny.
You're here.
I'll get down to here.
How many points do you think killing a numberhole gets?
20,000.
He doesn't know what he's saying.
Seems fair to me.
And as you pass the gates, he turns around again and he just goes, Warning!
Follow closely.
Follow my back.
I have a big back.
You can see me.
I'm not hard to lose.
You got it.
Alright.
Excelsior!
He starts going into the...
He's adorable.
And Jeremy Jr. is like...
John-Claude knows.
I feel you, buddy.
As the two of you venture into the swamp, ready to take on the trials ahead of you to
retrieve the Stone of Tongues.
I've been constantly messing up by saying Tongue of Stones all before the game.
Tongue of Stones.
Tongue of Stone.
Blah blah blah.
That's when we'll take a break.
Break time!
Be back soon.
Alright everyone.
See you in a little bit.
Hello everyone.
Welcome back.
Hey guys, just letting you know.
Due to some unforeseen circumstances, aka, I did a couple setups because I'm really cool
like that and I totally didn't have a hernia.
No, I'm just kidding.
You acted too hard.
Yeah, I've been acting...
I can get a storm.
Can't act like old people ever in these games.
You just really start adopting them.
My...
I just realized I haven't thought about the nuts, man.
So that's a weird coming out.
My fucking hips.
My hips.
My lady hips.
Here at Song of, we prioritize taking care of each other and making sure that we feel
happy to play.
And Tim did a great job.
We left off on a great spot because Cecilia and John Claude.
And now we're just a little bit early today.
Take care of her.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you did.
But you came back.
Yes.
So we're going to take a break anyway because...
My internet gave out and then Timmy's hips were...
Hip Timmy's hips.
I'm freezing.
It's like exactly as JT said, like health and happiness above all.
But I...
Happy pride everyone.
We are so...
Happy pride.
I'm sorry, JT, but I didn't read that as player health.
My brain went to prayer, health and happiness above all because I was raised Christian.
Thoughts and prayers.
Thank you.
Thoughts and prayers.
We are so...
We really thank everyone for coming to tune in today.
We love you very much and we love you, Tim, which is why we need to take care of ourselves
because if we don't take care of ourselves and our friends, then why are we here?
Whatever.
I'm not accepting that.
I could still go, coach.
Put me in.
We love you, but play through it anyways, Timmy.
Put me in, coach.
Suffer for the content.
Put me in.
This is all about joy and being, you know, that's not how we do things.
So we thank you for tuning in.
Joy and pain.
I demand you TTRPG for me or I want a refund.
I want a refund.
I will TTRPG.
I want to speak to your manager.
No!
Before we get Karenified, we will all see you guys next Sunday.
We wish you well.
We love you very much and we will see you in the chat.
And remember, there's never a designated time to take pride in yourself.
You can do it all the time.
Take pride in yourself and in your hips because you never know when you do a sit up and it's
just going to say bye.
And that's where we'll end today on Songwoven, the Linaya Expedition.
It's a good note.
Thanks for coming, guys.
Thanks for coming, everyone.
My fucking hips.