Songwoven presents The Lanaya Expedition, a D&D 5th Edition actual play campaign.
Episode 4.
Tidying Up.
You can catch us live every Sunday at 8pm EST on Twitch.tv slash Songwoven Show, or
watch the video version of this podcast on YouTube.
Thanks for listening.
I don't want this sermon.
I am Tim Don Tran, your DM, your dice muncher.
I do have a picture of you eating dice.
Delicious.
Disclaimer, don't eat dice, you'll choke.
Especially if you want to do a bit where you eat dice, don't choose the D4.
Ouch.
Is this why you were sick?
He's been eating too many D4s.
I've been practicing eating D4s.
I picked one dice out of the bag and I chose a D4.
I was like, I gotta commit to this one.
You fed them to your dad when you made dinner?
Can we please, for a cast and crew here, or a cast, and also the crew, I don't know where
I'm going with this, can you please introduce ourselves, who owns the most dice set, to
the least?
I'm least.
You're least?
Oh dang.
Okay, hi, my name is Jenny Shebard.
I play Cecilia Idlewind.
I have a lot of dice that I never get to use because I only play online.
It's true.
Rip.
And I am Emma Mosco.
I play Jean-Claude Boucheron.
I've been thinking about this.
He is a guard, but he's more like a park ranger, in my view.
Yeah, because it's like, you're the nature, it's like you're guiding them through the
forest.
You're not like arresting people, really.
Right, so when he goes up against, so real quick, when he goes up against tab guards,
I just imagine a park ranger going up against like a sergeant in the flunk army.
Like, yes, well.
And just for funsies, I'm wearing a shirt today that says, don't worry, I have a plan
with Nat 1 on it, because that's what I'll probably roll most of this session, baby.
Let's go!
That's manifested, folks.
Come on, chat.
It's okay, it's all right.
All right.
My default is gone.
Did I swallow it?
Hold on.
No!
JC is smarter than the average bear warped film sense.
I don't know, warped films.
I don't...
I mean, we saw that in Drunk Slash Prime.
I think it's on par.
I think his intelligence is on par with the bears.
All right.
Well, with that said, shall we get into another session of Dungeons and Dragons?
Fiddle the sh...
Nah, I don't feel like it anymore.
I'm gonna like, just...
All right, guys, sorry about that.
I guess it's the street.
Boom.
Boom, goodbye.
We go to the post-tree.
We just go back to our twinkly lights and music.
All right.
So why don't we go ahead and get ourselves a nice nifty little recap before we start?
Jenny, can you please read the...
I just read the first line.
That posted a chat and it just...
After a not-so-stellar negotiation with some bears, Claude and Cecilia discover a stowaway
on their wagon, a tiefling girl named Stellar of the Stars.
You guys see what I did at 11 p.m. last night?
She is on the run after robbing a grave.
They are chased by a group of bandits pursuing the loot until a mysterious old man who can
feel the group's desires in their bones appears and kills the bandits with his teeth or something?
Or did he just...
What did he do?
He just dropped down and was like...
Die?
Yeah, he kind of like tackled them off their horses and then...
Oh.
Yeah.
Marrow his...
He threw something at them.
He urged Stellar to continue her quest to get into more detail because there's a limit
to how much I can put in the chat thing.
So Claude negotiated with some bears to not rob them or to at least take some stuff and
it didn't go well.
Again.
He's a park ranger.
He had an argument with Smokey the Bear.
And then he also argued with Reginald the Horse.
The park ranger is throwing hands with all the animals so far in the game.
I don't think there's one animal that you've met so far that Jean Claude is just like this.
I want to have a feud with this animal.
He did try diplomacy with the bears.
It just, you know, fell apart.
Thank you.
Thank you, Jenny.
And then Cecilia noticed that one of the crates that had gotten, a barrel that had gotten
knocked over when the bears took some food from it on their wagon was back upright and
she noticed that there was the invisible tiefling Stellar of the stars in there who she called
out and Stellar confessed, yeah, hey, I got this job for a fortune teller named Madam
Withers and she wanted me to rob a grave of a noble for this ring and bring it to her.
Was it a ring or was it a medallion?
Oh, a necklace.
A necklace, yeah.
For this necklace.
And so then Claude found out she was a bard and also was suspicious of her in general
for obvious reasons because she was very suspicious.
So they feuded for a while as well.
This feud list just keeps growing.
So they decided, they decided for some reason to let her tag along still.
They were like, hey, okay, but you should return your stuff and she gave them the pendant
and was like, okay, fine.
And Cecilia agreed to pay her half of what Madam Withers was going to pay her, which
was very generous still for, you know, just helping out someone stealing.
But Cecilia is rich, so I guess she can just do that.
Then they encountered what they thought were guards.
They weren't, they were bandits who they gave the pendant to and then they proceeded to
get chased by.
And then old man Marrow creep guy appears.
Be nice to the elderly.
Air quote, save the day.
Marrowvania, as I'm calling him, Sans Marrow, I don't know.
But he appears, kills them, and then he appears in front of the wagon and Cecilia can't stop
in time and hits him, but he's just like puts himself back together.
No big deal.
Puts all his bones back in place and is like, yeah, hey guys, I know you, but not like that.
He says it like, I know you.
And then he, that's a great impression of Marrow.
He's like, yeah, I know you.
I know your quest.
I'm just going to creep you out enough, even though this is like not relevant information
right now, probably, but I'm just going to call it like keep guiding the moon.
That's cool, Cecilia.
Also, I know your sister, very dangerous path, by the way, do not recommend.
And I don't remember exactly what he said to Claude.
He said that he was a pathetic creature.
Yes, he's a pitiful creature.
And John Claude was like, and that's what I get.
And then to Stellar, he was like, return this to its rightful owner.
And he gave back the necklace and we were all about to be like, so back in the grave.
And he was like to Madam Withers, just clarification there.
And we're like, what?
Which we were like, what?
And then he was like, peace.
Cecilia was like, but wait, I need to know.
He said something about like your sister's the reason I'm here.
And she's like, what does that mean?
And he was like, oh, that's right.
And Cecilia was like, maybe that was the mad skeleton man.
And then didn't she tell Stellar what they were doing?
Oh, so yeah.
Then after that, they continued on their way.
Stellar and Cecilia got to talk for a bit and Stellar was like guiding the moon.
What's that about?
And Cecilia was like, well, not the actual moon, obviously, and proceeded to lie very
badly about it.
And Stellar didn't push her too hard, but still found out quite a bit and told her that
they have a box.
She doesn't know what's inside it.
And they're like, oh no, she said, she said nothing interesting inside it or something
like that.
And Stellar didn't press that for now.
And yeah, we're going to go meet Jaime.
And Stellar and Jaime might be traveling with us.
Join our party, her monk companion.
Also two comments in chat.
One, WarpFilms is asking you, Jenny, to recap his games.
I usually avoid recapping at all costs because I always remember things out of the water.
She's a wealth of information.
But she's a wealth of information.
And then another comment is from JT's, let's not forget JC's absolute hatred of farts.
That's very important.
They argued a good amount.
He is added to the list of feuds of Jon Claude's feuds.
I can't wait for the guard versus the bard compilation that's going to come out of it.
If Stellar journeys with you guys, then there's just going to be so much, so much bickering.
The park ranger versus the bard.
It's hard to be the bard.
All right.
With that said, shall we folks continue weaving the story of ours?
Even if you feel like it, you know.
Yeah.
No pressure.
Even like a spider, except we only have like combined, we only have like six legs.
Spider has eight.
We need to get that figured out.
We need to count the arms.
Ah, yes.
The arms, the legs of the upper torso.
All right.
With that said, we return to Katavarim.
From the perspective of our two adventurous souls who just got past their first night
together.
After experiencing her first watch and camping out in the woods and all the nice juicy, all
the nice juicy, you know, and I disconnected.
Oh goodness.
And I reconnected.
I should be here.
Yep.
But you're back now.
All right.
So we lost you for a little bit.
We're going to ignore that.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then we restarted.
Give me one second here.
I see it's still running and it's frozen.
It says 10 seconds in online, so it restarted.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's back now.
Yeah.
There we go.
Streams back.
JC said streams back.
Thank you.
Um, after experiencing the first throes of adventure, the two of you have met a potential
um, a curious stranger in Stellar.
And after fleeing through the night, um, you retreat towards the um, towards civilization.
Safe, warm civilization.
So Cecilia.
And I would say Jean Claude, as the wagon dips through the gate of the city, you um,
Jean Claude, you are naturally awoken.
You being a very alert person, um, you are naturally awoken by the sounds of conversation,
of chatter as Cecilia maneuvers through the cobblestone town of Woligheim.
Getting up from your slumber and I'll say that the both of you just, um, I'll say that
the both of you get a long rest.
Thank God.
I get one?
Yeah, I'll let you have one.
I had nothing left.
Does that mean you're going to do something?
No.
The quick, the um, the two of you view, uh, the two of you view Woligheim.
One of the one of the farming centers of this current, uh, of the current territory of House
Parvain.
Um, the innards of the town is enclosed with stone walls.
Um, and it- No!
Your internet!
No!
Is it, am I, does it frozen guys?
It's back.
I just- Your back just got a little glitchy.
Why did it start when the stream started?
I don't know.
That's our problem.
That's why we get cursed.
No!
It's okay.
I was beautiful description.
All right.
Shape up.
I think that's from the last time though.
Okay.
Fun times.
Great.
Fun times.
My internet has been working for the fun folks and all.
My internet has been working the whole week until now.
Until, until this moment.
All right.
You gotta go kick the neighbors off your internet.
We're going to keep pressing on.
Um.
Come on, carry on.
The towers are closed within stone walls.
Um, the streets are made of cobblestone and you see, um, you see stone sort of, the structures
are sort of made of stone masonry with like, kind of like sloped straw, straw roofs.
Kind of looks like those coconut, those peeled coconuts you would find in a farmer's market.
Um, I crave coconut right now.
Um.
It is a.
It's there.
It is a.
It's my tie.
Um, despite its size and what it is, it's a quiet, it's a quiet town and you can tell,
um, you can probably tell that one of the reasons why it's because it's like that.
It's because there's a heavy presence of guards here.
Natural for a agricultural center.
Um, with the farms sitting outside of the walls.
Um, someone has to keep the peace here in Wolickheim.
Um, so no, no thieves or bards, uh, will, uh.
No bouts.
Can render any, can render any value from this, uh, from this protected and treasured
place.
So Cecilia, you, um, find yourself easily guiding, um, both Reginald and Marquis.
You're two, um, you two horsey companions whom Jean-Claude seemingly has a feud with,
um, at the moment, but loves you.
So that counts.
Um, you're maneuvering through a sort of marketplace area.
Maybe this early in the morning.
Um, and as the fingers, as the fingers of the, as the fingers of an early sun attempts to
crack through, um, crack through the sky in the distance.
Um, you view, uh, people getting their livelihoods set up, getting their, um, getting their stalls,
um, all nice and, uh, nice and organized.
Uh, I forgot the, I was, I was looking for a word for it, uh, because I used to, uh,
they're getting the stuff there, the produce, goodness gracious.
Um, and Jean-Claude, you, uh, awake next to a barrel.
Uh, getting up, you see that you are currently within a civilization, guards with large sort
of like, um, howards, um, um, howards that has sort of like a small flag, flying the,
flying the, um, the sigil of House Parvin, um, walking by, um, a sigil depicting a vineyard
with a large eye, uh, looking over it.
Yeah, he definitely like pops his collar up.
Good morning.
You know, the, the man had like chin jerk, you know, occasionally, um, the, you know,
tip off.
Through the slits of the helmet, you do see that the person kind of like narrow, like,
kind of like raises an eyebrow, but continues to move.
So, uh, anything you two want to say to each other?
Um, and if not, Cecily, what are you heading to?
I think Scylla's hiding, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
So we need to go to that inn.
Um, I don't know where it is.
Hmm.
That is a predicament.
Whoa.
Drunk heart is Spanish?
Excuse me while I try to remember my accent sounds different in the morning.
Your morning voice.
Just complete that like that.
Uh, yes, we would need to see, uh, where perhaps, uh, this is, although I do not think we need
to ask for directions, I think that we can just continue, you know, I, I, I will know
where it is.
You know, it would be at Tavern center of town, right?
Just keep following.
Can I see like the, our surroundings and can he try to guesstimate?
Give me.
Usually this check is reserved for nature.
Give me a survival check.
Survival.
All right.
That, Oh, I have to see my brain is already, I'm looking at my roll 20 sheet when they
should be looking at my, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, all the other one survival, survival, survival.
That is a 10.
Obviously it should be the center of the town.
Obviously.
Um, obviously, uh, John Claude civilization is kinda, you've, you've been in Royce for
a good bit now and, um, just immediately acting on the strong, on the strong assumption.
Cause obviously the Tavern is the heart.
Um, and the heart should be my heart.
It is my heart.
It is the most important to me.
So I would be the center of the town, obviously.
I placed commerce, business.
I know it is Cecilia.
It is in the center.
So John Claude, you began guiding Cecilia giving, uh, giving general directions towards
the center of town, uh, towards the center of town.
Um, big dad dinner, big dad energy of, I refuse to pull over for directions.
It's very much the vibe.
You eventually, um, you, you began going towards sort of the heart of Woligheim and you began
to notice, Oh no, is my thing messing up again?
No.
Oh, we'll see Jenny's freezing on me now.
Yeah.
Mine, my internet's been really slow all of a sudden.
What is this curse?
Who has cursed us?
I know I'm next.
Like even on my phone, it was really slow.
Chat!
I don't even have the wifi on my phone.
I was just trying to retweet the, the going live thing cause I realized I didn't and everything
just was like, Nope, no Twitter for you.
Nothing.
You don't get anything.
I closed more tabs.
Is it cause I'm wearing glasses?
Yeah, take them off.
I maybe, yeah, yeah.
Discord said no.
All right.
So you eventually, you, you, you began to notice, you began to notice, you began to
notice, you began to notice, you began to notice, you began to notice, you began to
notice, you began to notice, you began to notice, you began to notice, you began
to notice, you began to notice, you began to notice, you began to notice, you begun to
an increased presence of guards, and you see that the streets generally get more wider,
and the streets are a bit cleaner. You then begin to see these large,
to put it lightly, pretty important looking buildings.
Some of them, you see these, particularly this one large building that's two tiers with these
kind of like tall windows. The front of the building, flanking the red oak door,
you see these two stone pillars that seem to maintain the structure integrity of a large stone
awning. Both of you are probably thinking, oh, maybe the taverns aren't around here.
This is a very classy tavern. This is very bougie. Bougie, as we would say.
It doesn't look like any tavern I've seen.
Well, we are in a different city, Cecilia. Obviously, you know, culturally,
it's going to be something different. Doesn't have a sign either. Poking her head out.
Ah, Shemelle, we are here. Where is here exactly? The center of town.
The, the, the, the Pope. Right. I should have interjected a long time ago.
She just, she just goes, all right, we're going to go to like the other end of town,
like all the way at the edge. See, he should have spoken up. You know, I'm very
receptive to listening to my comrades and my underlings, you know, just, just, I am very
just and, and righteously there. So please come to me with anything that you would need.
So you want to go that way?
Okay. Do you want to come out of the barrel yet?
Oh, I'm form fitted now. I'm actually pretty comfortable in here, but I am losing feelings
in my legs. So that's, I have two legs. I just feel like when we get there, it'll look weirder
if you get out of the barrel, like once we're there. Oh, I have a flare for the dramatics,
please. It's natural for me. You're going to leave.
From the barrel and be like, is me.
Do you think my name is? He blinks in confusion because he genuinely thinks her name is Shimmer.
He forgot it was.
You know what I'll take it. She starts giving you like little, she's giving you like directions,
like quickly pointing outs from inside the barrel. She's like, you know, you're going to
be able to do that. She's like, Oh, I'm going to do that. She's like, I'm going to do that.
And I'm like, oh, I'm going to do that. And she's like, I'm going to do that. And she's like,
you know, she's giving you like directions, like quickly pointing out from inside the barrel.
But also trying to hide from the guards that are patrolling the area.
I'll say eventually you get to this. You get to this. You get to this sort of like a tavern.
It is a it's fashion more like if you can imagine like those old fashioned saloons where you see
that there's a like a kind of like a balcony that like hugs around like the side. And there's a
staircase that leads up towards it. That's located outside of the building with with with doors that
you kind of like push open, but you can see like the inside of the tavern. It seems quite as you
just kind of like approach the area, you see that there's a lot of dirt. This is located more towards
towards the outer part of the city. You see many like dirt prints and and just a collected amount
of like dust like on the front of the on the porch of the building. And you hear an inviting
you hear you hear an inviting fire roaring from the inside.
You see you see Stella kind of like pokes her head out looking towards the tavern.
She just goes there it is. All right, perfect. And she starts trying to get out of the barrel.
And then you see she goes limp for a moment kind of like kind of like leans backwards.
And she just she just goes help help help help. And she's kind of like kind of like
and she just goes help help help help. And she's kind of like kind of like holds her arms out in
a T pose for you to like lift her out on cloud. Wait, wait, I really hope that when he tries to
lift her up the barrel moves. Go and try to lift her up. You go ahead. Strength roll. I would just
say it's it's I would just say it's easy enough. OK, let's see. You want to give me an athletic
check. Can I give you athletics? Give me an athletics check then. See how much he's trying.
Oh, he's trying hard. Eighteen. Oh, yeah. That you do that. Cool. And I think, you know, he's I mean,
how tall forbongs are like incredibly tall. Right. So she's just kind of like dangling.
So you just go scoop as you as you scoop as you scoop up their cat and they just like, you know,
circle of life Simba. I'm very much thinking that's what this sudden fast like seizure of her form
into the air. And she just kind of like her hands pats around kind of like pats you in the face.
Please. And there you go. She is.
She can help us review.
As you just pick her up, her hands reveal you shake her around.
She goes, no, no, no, no, there's a lot less cooler than I was thinking.
The tail start smacking you in the face.
I'll put her down. I'll put her down. As you as you put her down, she stands
and she kind of stands awkwardly, kind of like shaking her foot.
It was it was nice meeting you, Captain.
And sorry, met a moment. Did did Cecilia say that they were we were going to travel together or did
did stellar only say that to you? Because I thought you were asleep.
OK, cool. Yeah. So no idea. He goes, of course, as a member of the Groving Guard, I'm here to serve.
Well, next time you serve someone, maybe even if they're a bard, maybe you could be like a little
bit nicer to them. I lifted you out of a barrel. I gave you a show. I gave you the entrance you
looked for. And this is how you were playing her. Wind.
See, this is the thing with you bards, is that you know, excuse me, you bards, what is that supposed to be?
You know what, I'm not going to do it.
Even though.
No, you were saying something nice. Never mind, I'm not going to say anything.
You know what? I'm not going to do it.
Even though. No, you were saying something nice. Never mind, I'm not going to say it.
I was going to try to say something nice, but I guess not.
Good luck with your artistic endeavours and please, you know, stop robbing graves and find
other sources of incomes. Maybe, you know, teach children music to be a private tutor.
You do see like, like leaving the tavern is a is is Dorvin man kind of like
kind of like you look over and you see that he's kind of like halfway out, but he's like staring at
you while you talk. I mean, you make so much money to telling why do you need to tell.
You're right, dad. I'm sorry. I should really think about that a lot better.
I'm not actually, I'm just disappointed.
The door.
Okay, that makes sense.
It's all coming together.
It's walking.
Annie, thanks for following Annie.
Thank you, Annie.
That's my friend, Annie.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Hello, Annie. That's my friend, Annie, everybody.
Oh, nice. Hello. Hello.
Best friend, Annie.
So yeah, we have.
So is your friend, your friend is here, right?
Well, he should be unless he was.
You need to finish your job first.
Well, I think the more pressing matter is, is that to tell him where I've been,
and he's probably been thinking about where I've been going.
And I have to think of a good answer.
Are you going to lie to your friend?
You let me worry about that.
I could help. I could lie.
No, no, you don't have to. Thank you.
You don't have to. Thank you.
I know you're a guard and you want to jump at the opportunity, but just.
Groven guard.
That doesn't really mean.
It does. It is more specific field of study.
Groven.
Groven, okay.
We.
Oh, Sean.
Hi, Sean. No.
Who's the shark?
Shark.
Who is this man and what have you done with him?
Shara is my good friend of many years.
Hello. We have many friends in the track today.
At least she has to see me in my natural state at the moment.
Welcome. Welcome to chaos.
Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Songwulven.
Oh my goodness. A lot of new people at the moment.
That's so.
Can we call like the can we call like the barely shaven version of me?
Can we call that like Tom or something?
Goodness.
Yeah, this is Jim.
Jim.
This is 18 year old Jim.
All right.
So really glad to have you all here.
Along for this ride and for what's about to happen next.
So.
You see stellar kind of like vaults off of off of the side.
And just give a big stretch.
You heard as a pop in her shoulder here and there.
And she just goes haven't drinking anything from this place.
But if you guys want to pop in and give the place a look around, be my guest.
Rooms are cheap. Drinks are whatever.
And we need to investigate.
I will.
Mrs.
Celia for your safety.
I will investigate the barrel first.
OK.
Oh, yes.
I'm off.
OK.
I just.
First, Stella looks at you, Cecilia and goes I'm not really confident anymore about.
If I walk in there.
I feel like maybe I was told not to let him drink that much, but also I don't know what to.
Say.
Oh, that's right. She was wasn't she.
You wanna come in with me?
Sure.
I will say that your ragged situation can get situated really quickly, just make it
really easy.
Reginald.
And then leave.
During this time, I'll say, you get a little bit of a lone time, Jean-Claude, as you enter
into the tavern.
It has those old western style kind of push open kind of like doors.
Oh, is it much like Lord of the Rings?
Can he do the, oh my god, what's his name?
Eragon and the doors with the helms deep.
Donk!
Fire up those friars!
And if I can just grab this.
You are greeted with the wonderful sight of lively conversation.
Your nostrils are immediately attacked by the scent of something strong, something that
makes them curl.
Some strong alcohol being produced somewhere in the back.
You do remember, you were told by Stellar that this place was, this place, the reason
why it's called the First Draft is because it's connected to the first brewery.
It was built here.
You immediately seeing just a menagerie of individuals here, tables and chairs, strewn
about, all filled with all types of individuals.
You currently see a goliath and a gnomish man currently lock arms with one another.
Oh my god, wait!
Playing a game of armistice.
You see the gnomish man using both of his hands and you see the goliath who's using
one hand clamped around the entirety of both hands, drinking while just pushing while the
gnome is fighting for his life.
You see, you hear someone slam their tankard against the table and all of a sudden, ale
just goes flying everywhere.
You hear, yes, I did it, I hit the big one!
As you see a table where you see that there's a sort of a well dressed person there and
the person celebrating seems to be a half elvish man, drunk, red in the face.
And seemingly a game of blackjack is being played on the table.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, gambling involves lies, yes!
Yep, continue.
I'll say it is a warm, inviting atmosphere in here.
Behind the bar area you see that there's a man with a full sort of like, a full blonde
beard that kind of hides his mouth.
I love those designs by the way.
You can see the big cast oak barrels kind of like sitting in the back where all the
alcohol is being produced and you can tell it's fresh.
You haven't had it fresh in a while.
No, no, no, no, no, nothing, the groving god, we never get it fresh.
He immediately saunters up, trying to play it cool, hand in his belt loop, saunters up
to the bar, gives a good old smack on the bar top a couple times and goes, good morning,
good morning.
Yes, good morning, how?
Looks at you up and down, this tall man who's almost as tall as you actually.
Really?
He is like, I'm thinking Fullmetal Alchemist, like the Armstrong, like that size.
My favorite show ever.
He has his sleeves rolled up, like hairy, snoozed, like very buff arms.
His beard and mustache moves when he talks.
Machine man!
You seem new around here.
Shall I introduce you in a room or a drink?
Oh, well, you both sound wonderful, but a drink to start off.
You see, I am a member and he points, you know, to the insignia on his uniform of the
groving guard here on very serious business, very serious, but incredibly serious, very
top secret.
But you know, as we both know, it is important to get to know the locals in this town, you
know, to in case I must collect, you know, an alibi later or whatnot.
And by the way, Jean-Claude Bicheron, it is a pleasure to meet you.
Your finest.
It smells so good.
I would love, love it.
Your largest cup, please.
Absolutely.
I don't, I never mind assisting a member of the guard with building reports with the locals.
I admire a man who performs there and sticks to their duties very well.
I am, what can I say?
I am a, I am a groving guard of the people.
You know, I'm here to, you know, for people and to spread, you know, um, wealth and joy,
but also to, you know, ensure the safety and who better than me.
Like, I mean, come on, look at me.
One large frost, please.
And your name dear about 10, dear sir.
My name is Imcar Imcar.
Yes.
It's nice to meet you.
I, I believe I caught your name was Jean Claude.
Jean Claude.
I see.
Well, can he go to shake his hand?
Cause he's so fucking muscled.
He wanted to see how strong he is or if it's just for show.
Seeing your offering before him, he goes ahead.
He just goes, oh, as he clenched, he clamps your hand muscles, bulge as he just, and if
we're doing FMA much in the scene where Armstrong meets, um, uh, oh my God, I forgot his name
too.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
Her husband, um, he's going to squeeze cause that's actually his body type.
I very much actually, he's going to squeeze very tightly back.
Do you actually do that?
Do you challenge?
Yes, yes, but in like, not in like an aggressive way, more in like a, oh, you know, manly.
I had a coach who I, he would always offer a handshake and every time you shook his hand,
it was like a Venus fly trap.
He would squeeze your hand till it hurt.
He'd do that every time.
For real, I was taught, you know, my grandfather would be like, you shake strong.
So anytime I shake someone's hand, they're like, ow, because I'm like, shake strong,
shake strong.
After, um, after, after the cordial, uh, handshake with Imcar, the bartender, um, you see, uh,
coming, uh, coming out of the back, you see this, uh, sort of meek pale man, um, uh, come
around with a, with an, with an offering, um, Imcar, uh, takes it before the man retreats
back into the, uh, the brewery and places it in front of you.
It is frothing, uh, out the top.
Some of it is like pouring, kind of like pouring over the sides.
Um, it is, it has a honeyed smell to it.
Is this mead?
Um, as that happens, Cecilia.
Sorry.
You come in to view the same, the same warmth and immediately you view Jean Claude with
a large tinkered of ale, um, me, um, mead in, in his hands, but it's except.
He just, so they're just kind of goes, I guess he deserves it.
Just like the morning she goes, and there's so many people drinking too.
Like, what is it?
Like 10 AM and like all these people are trashed.
She just looks around and everyone with like a, she has a bit of a judgmental look on her
face.
She's getting together guys.
Makes her way to the top.
She does kind of like put an arm around you for a moment to see the kind of pattern on
the other shoulder.
Just, Hey, don't worry.
Because if anyone tries anything, I gotcha.
Would they?
Oh no.
Drink.
It kind of brings out the worst in people sometimes.
I guess.
Yeah.
Um, makes her way to the front and Jean Claude, you're enjoying the drink.
Oh, oh, he's like savoring it.
You know, oh yeah.
Exactly.
You know, swirling it around, commenting on, you know, the texture, the hoppiness of the,
of the brew, you know, the, the aromas that we from it, the color, the Amber color.
He's, he's just like, so in love and entranced and he hasn't had a brew this good in quite
a long time.
Um, in the car who's just, um, who's wiping down the, uh, who's wiping down some other
tankards is, uh, just standing there.
Um, looking sweet.
Um, very big, hunky man.
Um, and eventually, um, the opposite of that approach is you see Steller kind of like a
wimpy tea, a tea thing.
He's, his eyes, his eyes slide over to us.
And then goes, um, um, Cal, uh, do you happen to know of a, a, um, a young monk man looking
for his companion by any chance that be staying here?
Yeah, my friend, uh, Jaime, we came into the other day, um, and in car goes, Oh yes, that's
right.
Uh, stellar, correct.
Yes.
Um, your friend went out looking for you a bit earlier, uh, a bit earlier in the morning.
He left just about, uh, 20, 30 minutes ago.
Great.
Yeah, that's what I expected.
You know, stupid, thoughtful people and their thoughtfulness.
Maybe we passed him, but we wouldn't have known because I mean, you were in the barrel.
So Cecilia is the queen of throwing shade, which she doesn't need to.
She's kind of makes a little face at that, but continues.
She goes, all right, why don't I go and try and find him?
He shouldn't be too far.
And the two of you stay here and make yourself comfortable.
We will secure some rooms.
Um, do you two have a room here already?
Are you staying somewhere else?
We have a room.
Yeah, but it's a bit of a small room.
I don't think the four of us are going to fit in there.
No, no, no, no, no.
I have my own room.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
So you go, you go find my boy.
Seems heiny, but okay.
Um, Sean Claude, I'm guessing it's safe now.
She said you were scouting.
Like saucers.
Jenny, this is why I love playing with you.
The mead in his hand and goes, hold on.
Takes a sip, pushes around his mouth, swallows.
Not to poison.
Is safe to drink.
Continue.
I would hope so in cargo.
As you know, as a member of the groven guard, I constantly have people trying to take the
hit on me.
You know, I could, I, you know, as someone in my position of power, there are so many
who want to grab it and take it from me.
I have to be prepared.
Cecilia remembers their conversation from before you fell asleep and she's like, yeah,
like actually he's really, really strong.
There was this giant shade and he defeated it in one hit from his weapon.
He looks, he looks at her and he's just like, you see like a tear like forming in his eye.
It was very impressive.
She says, seller goes, seller goes, he danced with his hips earlier and almost broke his
back.
It's a cough.
I was like, okay.
Yes.
But miss, miss, you see, you use like a room of your own.
Yes.
Yeah, I can.
She starts pulling out money from the bag.
We shall have two rooms, please.
I'll be two silver a night.
Okay.
Yes.
I'm making you break up the money.
Okay.
And then he is 18 in fantasy world is 18 the legal age for alcohol?
What is the legal age?
It is.
Let's say 18.
Okay.
So let's do this point just cause well, I'll leave you to that.
Which you go up here.
Leaves.
Okay.
Hey, miss, you see, would you like a little drink to start off the morning?
Would you like a mimosa?
You know, some brunch?
Food would be great.
Hey, my good friend, do you have a, what do you have to munch on?
What snacks do you have for us?
He provides you on the menu very cleanly.
Just like with his little thumbs.
I just kind of presented to you.
There's an assortment of just a breakfast foods and fruit medleys.
Not going to get into too many details about that.
No, I had that one game I played for every single game.
The first thing we do was describe in detail breakfast.
Everyday we described in detail breakfast.
First thing in the game.
It was interesting.
Jean Claude goes, there is no avocado toast.
What a millennial.
Oh my gosh.
He goes, we will get you a plate, you also need protein.
Yes, eggs.
Yes, you like eggs, Cecilia?
Sure.
Really young women must have eggs.
Yes, we'll do that.
He says, an offering like that is three copper pieces for the usual eggs and meat, but you
can double it for one cup or more.
I will eat some of your food.
Right, right.
He goes ahead and writes it down and gives an order.
That's such a minuscule amount of money.
I already marked it off.
She's like, you made me do math?
I do math.
When he takes a moment to take their order and turn away, Jean Claude with his logger,
his meat in front of him is going to lean close to Cecilia.
Just to say quietly to her.
What do we think of the bowed and her companion?
Do they trust well?
What is going on here?
I think so.
It's really nice.
I'm curious to meet Jaime.
Oh, while you were asleep, she talked about maybe that apparently we're heading the same
way anyways.
If Jaime wanted to and if you were okay with it, that maybe they could travel with us for
a little bit so it's safer.
What?
Well, she just thought it'd be safer given everything that's happened.
We don't get to drop her off here.
She just stays with us.
Well, they're kind of going the same way anyways.
We'd probably run into them again.
But she said-
Hold on, can he insight because if she wants her to come with them, he'll find a reason
to acquiesce.
Instead of what exactly again?
Can he do an insight check of some sort to see that because Jean Claude's not wise.
He's trying to see if this is something that she wants because he'll do it if it's something
she wants.
Okay, go ahead and make an insight check.
It's so interesting because I love when we play characters that are similar to us but
very different.
Two!
No!
A fucking two!
If that's okay, if not, I did tell her that what we're doing might be kind of dangerous
and attract danger and stuff, but she was very nonchalant about it.
Oh, so then she doesn't want to come.
It's fine.
It's good.
It's our salt.
Yeah, she doesn't have to.
Jaime might not even want to anyways.
That's right.
We have not even met the monk boy.
You know, like, let us- let us- go down Cecilia.
Understand that we have such an important mission.
And he gives her like raises his eyebrow and like a wink winks.
We must be careful who we select to join us on this endeavor.
That's true.
And it's true I would want to meet him first anyways before deciding for sure.
Because we do not know.
Like maybe they like- maybe our sleep schedule is not lined up.
You know, maybe they like to party all night.
No, actually, maybe they are early risers while we get to party all night.
I mean, we get to have a survey the area all night.
Maybe they are like really, really messy or very, very clean.
Like there are so many things to contribute.
To new roommates and new people coming into the house.
Like do you want to split the utilities?
Do you want to take over?
You know, they- they feel for the houses.
Do you want to take over this?
And then it's only like this little thing.
I mean, we're not going to buy a house together.
Not yet.
We do not know though, right?
Like we don't know these things.
Like they might be like, oh, well, we're together and now, you know, we should invest in property
together.
Like-
I don't really know these things about you either.
What?
Jean-Claude, when your need is depleted, another one is put right in front of you already.
It's like almost on a verge of tears.
He goes, you know what, Mrs. Hea, whatever you want, I am here to help.
Whatever you want.
I- I appreciate that.
Yeah, well, we'll have to stay here for a little bit anyways, so that the horses can
rest and maybe they'll already have wanted to leave or something too.
So-
Also like, what is up with your sister making friends with the creepiest fucking people?
Well, she never told me about that.
So I don't know what that was all about back there.
Like I don't really know what to do if he appears again.
Like, he just-
Would I- I- No, no.
I was going to say, would Jean-Claude have known of a creature like this?
And I am not going to say no, he fucking doesn't.
No fucking clue.
I truly have no idea.
Me neither, but at least they didn't seem hostile towards us.
That is rude.
Could you play to your goddess?
That cat- Oh, the white clags can do a thing, right?
Where they ask their god a question.
Can you not do that?
Well, there's spells you can cast like that.
I would need very specific components for the spell though.
She looks in her bag, she reaches in.
Specially marked sticks, bones, tokens of saloon, anything.
Sticks!
25 gold pieces worth.
Sticks, you got a handful of them.
Bones.
They have to be specially marked.
Oh no, it's silly.
You throw the sticks back in.
No, damn it!
Bones.
You reach in, you think of bones, and you think, wait, what bones are we in there?
You pull out a femur?
The conversation with him.
The bag of holding and putting bodies in the bag of holding comes back.
You see as the femur, the full femur comes out, the bartender kinda like raises an eyebrow
at that.
She jumps and drops it back in the bag.
Oh yeah, it just turns away.
See that is why Mero likes it so much, cause you just carry bones in this bag.
Tokens of saloon?
Yes.
One.
What approximate value.
Approximate value?
Just the front of my spell!
She takes out a little like eyeglass.
You see.
You just throw it back in the bag.
You see, that's the thing.
You judge your sister's holy focus.
The chain is silver, but you're not entirely too sure about the value from a glance.
I don't know if this would work, and it's also possible that this might have been our
mother, so maybe I shouldn't use it for a spell.
Why not?
Don't the mother always like when their kids wear their, you know, their things?
Their trinkets and stuff?
Oh, I mean, yeah, I just like to continue wearing it.
Oh wait, the spell doesn't consume the components, so I could.
I could, nevermind.
Well, actually, I don't know how the spell works exactly.
I've never cast it.
And also, it does let me ask a question, but it only, it has to be about, well from what
I've read about it, it has to be about a course of action.
Oh.
Whether it's good or bad.
Uh oh, like morally or?
Well outcome wise, if it'll go well or if it'll go bad.
You know what though?
You could ask about the outcome of this mission.
There's another thing too.
What?
It has to be about a course of action that we take within the next 30 minutes.
So actually, there are spells, there are spells more about like what you were kind of asking
about, but I'm, they're just too advanced for me right now.
That's well, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
And he sees, he sees her start to, you know, like go a little in on herself with that last
one and goes, hey, the spells that you were casting last night, magnifique.
Very impressive for a caster of your, of your beginnings.
Yes.
You will get there.
I have no doubt.
Yeah.
I know when, when my sister's the most, it's been when she's away from home and that's
what I'm planning on doing too.
So this is the same sister that is coming after you, right?
I don't know that she is.
I just wouldn't be surprised.
It might be a good thing if she catches up to us though, because then we can question
her on marrow and say, well, you sick crazy man on us.
At least to get to know why.
Uh, I mean, I guess we could do that, but I don't even know if she'd say anything.
She'd probably be so angry and, and then I'd be upset because I'm like, why did you leave
dad alone at home?
And it is okay for parents to, you know, it is good for children to leave the nest, right?
That would be okay.
Oh, well actually dad can't live alone.
Why?
He, he just needs a lot of care.
And I mean, I know she wouldn't just leave without like getting somebody to do it, but
your mom, why doesn't your mom watch after him?
Oh, my mom passed away when I was pretty young.
So
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Oh, um, I mean, it was a really long time ago.
So
But it's still, still a less well here, eat up, get some food in you.
No talk of sadness.
We eat, we compare and we figure out what is up with Shimmer and her monk boy.
And also this madam with your stuff.
I am, I am missing a connection here.
I am missing something here.
We don't have the necklace, do we?
Did we lose it?
Did we get it back?
I can't remember.
I'm drinking a lot.
We gave it to her, didn't we?
Yes.
Okay.
Because like, yeah, I want to, I also like, I don't know about you Cecilia.
And he's like, you know, confiding in her now.
Like he's got this, you know, tinkered.
I'm just going to say like, I want to know like what kind of spell is she casting?
Like, well, you know, what is, what is this?
Originally she asked for it for a correct spell, right?
Like what kind of spell is this?
Hmm, suspicious?
I think so.
Something the Groven girl may have to investigate perhaps.
But also they said that it rightfully belongs to her.
Then why would she lie?
We've got her in a lie.
Well, I think Stella didn't know though.
If not Stella, Madame Weavils.
Super Stella is fine for now.
Madame Weavils.
But did she even lie?
I don't know.
This is why we need more information.
An investigation.
And he's like, eyes are like wide, like looking down at her.
I mean, we could, I guess, since we have to stay here today anyways.
How long did Stella mention she would be gone?
She didn't say, did she?
She said she would meet you back here, but she didn't say how long.
Well what do you say?
We get a jump start on this investigation, Cadet Idlewind.
Sure.
I'm promoting you.
Congratulations.
All right.
Get your breakfast.
Okay.
We go.
But first, let me describe the breakfast.
Sizzling scrumptious bacon.
Green eggs and ham.
Green, no green eggs and ham.
Before that, however, in the midst of you trying to finish off this Lumberjack's breakfast,
the both of you, which takes some effort, and the greasiness of it is kind of like fighting
off some of the drunkiness for you, Don Claude.
The grease just sobers me up.
There is a moment where you feel a small presence by your side, and as you kind of like peer
over, you see an old, a middle-aged sort of gnomish man.
Met up with the elves!
Who has kind of like a pencil stash going on.
He is flanked by a kobold.
Flanked?
He is flanked by this black-scaled kobold who seems to be dressed rather nicely, though
he does have like, you see that there's like a knife at his hip, but he's standing very
poised even though his eyes are kind of like going two different ways.
He's packing heat!
One second here.
I am unguiled!
You see the gnomish man just goes, hello there, you look like someone who's trying to strike
out on some kind of fortune.
What?
You look well-traveled is what I'm saying.
I can recognize that patch you got.
It's the girlfriend guard.
You're kind of way out of your league here.
Way out of my league?
I think that is...
Punk!
You know, slams the glass down and goes, I can assure you.
Far from home.
There is no league that is out of our league.
And yes, we are far from home because we are that well-traveled.
Spoken like a true member of the groven guard.
You know, you helped my husband out of a mess once, so I'm seeing you and I would want to
help you on your little whatever endeavors you have out here.
I mean, you're sitting here in a tavern just enjoying the morning.
But surely you wish that there was something more, right?
I can offer it.
Security?
You just have to play a little game.
Security?
He puts his hand on his back and goes, I am only the security that this young lady needs.
Monetary-wise.
Oh, uh, you want us to invest?
Are you...
No, no, no, no.
Is that the racetrack that we got to go to?
Do you want us to go to and read this slowly on the racetrack and go, that pony will win?
Do not.
And he slips to the seat and goes, do not put in a reginald.
He will lose.
I know he would lose at the golf race.
The person will be actually really fast.
Duh, fine, we'll put in a reginald.
You can take our horse for the race.
He's fine.
What?
Now, first off, I'm going to go ahead and say I don't know where we can go race horses
nearby.
But also, he points at the table where you saw a group playing blackjack earlier.
And he goes, all the way out here, I bet you're really liking your luck.
Why don't you go ahead and give it the old try?
Double what's ever in your bag.
How did I help your husband?
I want to hear off my heroic feat.
Well, not you, but maybe not you, but the groven guard, he got lost in the Lyramir forest
and oh, goodness, my dear husband just always gets lost.
He couldn't find his way around our house, but thankfully, you know, the groven guard
was there.
We got to my little old man.
What is his name?
Maybe I know this man.
Well, just you wait.
Let me go look at the character name generator real quick so I can get his name.
You are searching, searching for his name.
He's got love, a murder, a labor.
He's a man of a light elvish persuasion.
We call him Clark.
I know him lying, lying, lying, lying.
He's a wonderful man.
What is he?
I would love to see him again.
Roll a deception check.
What a coincidence.
17.
17 as well.
In the same mod.
There we go.
17, 17.
D20.
Just flat D20.
Flat D20.
12.
Nine.
Oh, no.
That's the second time you've lost a contest.
That's the second time and this is why he should not gamble.
He just kind of adjusts himself in the seat next to you a bit.
And he just kind of like looks at you and he just goes, you've met, you've met my husband
Clark before.
Yeah, yeah, no.
Elvish persuasion, you know, of course.
We helped him out of the woods.
And, uh, he's a man of a light elvish persuasion.
And, uh, we, we, the groven guard are very personable.
We try to know everyone we have.
We write it and we record it in our ledger and whatnot.
He actually saved my life too.
In the forest.
Forest of Syria.
That's what the groven guard does, don't they?
Oh, yes.
Yes.
You need some investments in your business is what you're asking for.
Oh, no, I was just, I was just offering you, if you want to play a hand or two of a, of
blackjack over there.
What do we win?
Oh, just whatever money you put up.
I can, you know what?
Since you saved, since you saved my husband, I'll give you five, I'll give you five gold
pieces for you to, to ante up with for free.
Just to play.
He looks at Cecilia.
I don't know.
I'm in five.
Groven guard member.
Can I get, can I get my friend here another drink?
He wants to be bartender.
Come on, Cecilia.
I teach you.
Come on.
This will be good for you.
This is important for you to know how to converse with the people.
As a cadet, you need to feel comfortable.
I don't know how to play that game.
So come, come, come, come, come, come, come, grab your drinks.
You are ferried over to this, to this specialized table.
It looks different than the other, than the other tables.
There's a felt on the top of it.
And you see that there's currently the nicely dressed man that was there.
That was, that was there.
So like just shuffling cards.
And you see, you see the city's normal man goes, says, my good friend, Raphael says,
let my friend Coco here take charge.
And you see the man just kind of give a nod.
He goes over, he pulls up a chair towards the front and you see the cobalt just gets
on top of the chair.
And began shuffling the cards.
And he says, ready Lizard!
And then, and then he goes, so I heard you were going to, I heard you were going to talk
to your, what is it, your, your someone, someone he met?
He says, do you look pretty close to Cecilia?
What was that?
He says, I overheard that your, our good Groven guard friend here was going to teach you how
to play blackjack.
I guess so.
Well, the game is all about just, just a good bit of risk management is all.
And he quickly, he quickly just explains the rules.
If you can't go over 21, if you get 21, you win.
The dealer, when she heard risk management, she looked a lot more like skeptical because
she took a pretty big risk.
People, people know blackjack and now you know.
And so the cobalt puts on the cards and just kind of looks at you Jean-Claude and goes,
do you have any app?
Yeah.
How much are you putting in?
You have five gold pieces provided to you by the gnome.
Looks at Cecilia and goes, cadet, how many shall we start?
And he leans and goes, the key to blackjack is confidence.
Okay.
So are we like a team then since you're teaching me?
Absolutely.
We are always a team, Cecilia.
Well, how much do you want?
I say we go three gold pieces, slap them in the head.
Strong start.
Okay.
You think three is a strong start?
You see the gnome.
What about?
Or.
One to your left.
He says under his breath.
What about four?
So that Jenny can even out the numbers on her.
Because I hate the uneven.
Missile wind.
My cadet recommends we slide four gold pieces onto the table.
Okay.
One of you.
So here's the rule of the game and I'm stealing this directly from Dimension 20.
You can either roll one D20 or two D20.
If you roll one D20, you have to roll a 13 or over.
If you roll two D20, both dice have to roll an eight or over.
Oh, I don't do math.
That would be eight over 20.
The probability is higher.
I think it's.
I didn't haven't taken statistics since 2017.
I think it's better with two.
Let's do it.
All right.
We can do this.
So one of you rolls two D20 or you both of you roll a D20.
Both roll one.
Let's not leave it on one person.
You both have to roll an eight or over.
Eight or over.
And there's no way that we can flip the die or roll in a way that would land it.
This is the players rolling, not the characters, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Player roll.
18.
17.
Teamwork.
You hit.
As the cards get pulled out and Cecilia, you don't understand it yet if you want, but you
see Jean-Claude kind of like celebrate, just throws up a fist.
You see the Cobalt reaches into a bag, pulls out four more gold pieces and pushes the bag.
Eight gold pieces total now.
Shall we continue cadet?
Okay.
How many are we putting down now?
We have eight gold pieces.
How many do you want to?
Six.
Is it too risky?
Should we be safe?
No.
Okay.
Slides over six gold pieces.
And now they're going to start cheating.
Let's D.
I know and this is when they start puking cheating.
Roll a, go ahead both of you.
Roll a D20.
17 and a two.
Oh no.
It looks strong, but risk management.
As you say hit, pulls out a king and you go over 21.
The six gold pieces disappear.
That is okay.
Cadet.
All right.
Is there a way to cheat in blackjack?
Asking for John Claus deception role.
He like kicks someone under the table.
I mean that's just an obvious.
You can count, you can count cards.
Oh my God.
Wait.
Let's have John Claude attempt to count fucking cards.
Intelligence of minus one, everyone.
Intelligence of minus one.
Let's have him try to count fucking cards.
Let me see the pro.
Just give me a straight.
Give me a straight like, oh gosh.
Give me a straight intelligence.
I clicked it, but nothing happened.
Why?
Why away?
Um, it's that, where do I press guys?
Help me.
I'm pressing the nine.
Um, it's so, okay.
Don't click the number.
Click the word.
Got it.
Set.
Ooh.
Starting off strong with a seven baby.
Sabu.
The cold book's really good.
I don't know about it, so I can't do it.
You're really staring at these cards and you're like, oh goodness, the drink is hitting you.
If you're drinking more, it's like being provided for you by the, by the gnome.
Oh damn it.
They're in Vegas.
The gnome does look at you Cecily and goes, Hey, uh, there's the, something tells me you're,
you don't drink, but uh, would you like to give it a try?
The fr, um, the meat here is amazing.
Um, no thanks.
I'm good.
You sure?
It's free?
I'm fine.
Okay.
Go ahead, Annie up.
Now we have two good pieces.
We have three, right?
Because we didn't spend one that they gave us from the five.
We have four good pieces.
We have three.
So with our four, you would, you would decide, I trust you.
I would say for you Jean Claude, um, you've been given 75 gold pieces from captain Valatani.
Um, that she gave me money.
She gave you money to buy new armor.
Oh, she gave me 85.
Cause I think I started off with, oh, I have 85 gold.
Okay.
Oh yeah.
So Cecilia says, actually I'll try some of yours Jean Claude.
And then she just puts it on her other side on the ground.
He goes, this is good.
This is good.
No, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Oh here.
Oh yeah, the game, the game.
That's right.
Um, and he reaches into his pocket and he'll take out six gold pieces.
And you know, like when grandparents give my grandkids money, they're like, yeah, you,
this is what you need.
The forceful slap of like six gold coins and then you go, you go, you go, you go, go, go,
go, go.
Come on.
You can do it.
Go, go, go, go.
Um, um, give me a slight of hand check.
Slight of hand nine.
Six.
Okay.
Yeah.
You, you maneuver the, uh, the tank somewhere else to a safe place.
And six gold slapped into your hand.
Let me know if you need any more.
Okay.
It's okay.
You can keep it.
No, no, no.
You let me know if you need any more money.
I have my own money.
It's okay.
Here we go.
Okay.
That come on, put it in, make a risk, make a choice.
Cecilia.
Here we go.
Um, okay.
She just puts in all of it.
Six.
All three.
Cecilia is done.
So is it nine?
Yeah.
Nine.
Nine gold pieces.
I don't want to play this game anymore.
You put a nine gold piece.
So Cecilia is the only one doing it.
So give me one D20.
Okay.
You can do it, Jenny.
16.
Nine gold pieces.
It comes out to 18.
Woo.
Jean-Claude, you see the big sack of gold in front of you and you get paid like a guard's
wage.
So like, this is like a, almost like a fortune to you.
Like you never seen it like, like slide towards you before.
Oh my God.
And he's going to, you know, to let him hoist her into the air and like much like, you know,
set up like Simba, like he was doing with Teller.
He wants to go like, woohoo.
You did it.
Yeah.
One long voice.
Yeah, you go.
She's so good.
Good job.
But he puts her back down.
That was fun.
Did you still want to go looking for?
Where are we going?
I guess not.
No, no, no.
What are we going to do?
The, um, the gnome goes, the gnome was like, you don't put any of your own money in there,
right?
You can just bet that.
You can bet more.
You can double everything you got in your bag.
Well, some of that is his that he put in, but.
Oh.
Hold on.
You shush, shush, shush, shush, shush.
He says to the gnome, you shush, you shush.
Zizi, what is it you would like to do?
Mr. DeLuis?
Well, I'm fine with whatever you want to do.
We are waiting for Stella to come back.
And we have, we have to, we have to do something.
You said we have to do it.
They cannot, in the morning.
Do you want us to go look for that fortune teller?
You are right.
Scum, Zizi.
And he's going to try to stand.
You see the gnome, the scum is just walking, he goes, hey, how about this?
To really thank you because I have a husband because of you.
Next hand.
Let's go make them.
The next hand, the winning is tripled if you win.
Sits back down.
Okay, take a little money, go on Cecilia.
I give you luck.
You know, I do the luck thing.
Good luck.
You want me to do it again?
Yes, I do.
I can't even, I can't see straight right now.
I don't know how to count even.
So this is a lot.
So please.
The kobold you see kind of looks a bit like frantically between the gnome and the you.
And seemingly like what the gnome said was a bit stretching too far.
And you see the kobold just goes, can we talk?
Can we talk about this?
In other words, give us a moment real quick.
And the gnome and the kobold kind of like, kind of like walk to the side for a bit.
I can read lips.
How did you do that?
You can read lips.
From the observant feet.
Oh, smart.
Do you see they catch anything?
Smart.
You speak, they are speaking a bit loud too.
You see the kobold goes, I don't think we have that kind of money.
They can't take us away.
We have if they bet too large.
And then you hear the gnome goes, no, trust me, these two, they're cowards.
They won't do it.
They won't bet too large.
Just give them a small, give them a small taste.
They're not, it says they're not brave enough.
And then.
Were they, do I get the impression they were purposefully talking loud enough for us to hear them say that?
Give me an insert check.
She's not familiar with these conventions, but she does have good wisdom at least.
I've heard you were coward.
21, 22.
Oh, that sucks.
That sucks.
If I had proficiency and insight, but I personally couldn't give it to her.
Or if you had a bardic.
Or guidance.
I'm sorry.
I have to.
You get the frantic nature of the kobold.
And the confidence of the gnome.
And your cowardice.
You feel it to be genuine.
Maybe the volume of it is the frantic nature of the conversation.
The kobold comes back.
Just looks towards the two of you.
Goes.
Any up?
I guess we can.
Do this to the 18 on there.
And she'll take four gold because I, because generally, because out of character, I do want to even out my inventory.
Because I hate when my gold numbers are not even.
Yeah.
So 18 plus four.
22.
So you see the 22 goopies get put down.
You see the kobold just like grabs a small handkerchief and just wipes away some.
I've never seen that much money before.
Okay.
Actually, I have in my pocket.
Cecilia, as the 22 gold is up for grabs.
Roll me a d20.
Here we go.
See, see, here we go.
It's going to be a one.
18.
Now, real quick.
Holy shit.
They're going to cheat now.
They were setting that up for that.
I'm almost confident.
She doesn't know.
I think she's just arrested quickly.
Cecilia or Jean Claude.
But if you do, I think you have you would have to do with this advantage.
Disadvantage.
Anything I do.
Yeah.
Make make an insight check or an investigation check.
Am I allowed to roll with disadvantage?
Yes, I will.
Okay.
Because I don't want to affect her role.
I think my investigation is better, but I feel like insight makes more sense because she's not actively looking for anything wrong.
But my investigation is a lot better.
Oh, okay.
And that 20.
No.
So I should do insight.
16 insight for Jean Claude is a.
13.
I wish I could do investigation, but it just doesn't make sense.
I rolled that sweet sweet that 20 that I can't use because I was at disadvantage.
A 20.
They're all the 22.
Yes.
So.
Fuck.
So Cecilia, can you roll one more time?
This is going to make Jean Claude mad.
11.
One card comes out.
It's and another one.
You stay.
The dealer comes out to some higher than yours and the 22 gold pieces.
Oh, okay.
That's okay.
You did very, very, very good.
Better luck next time.
The gnome goes.
Yeah.
That's what's fun.
I'm on board with this now.
Come, Cecilia.
We go.
It's going to stand up from the table or stumble from the table.
Are you sure you don't just want to rest?
No, we have work to do.
Come.
The Grubbing Girl does not rest.
The chat is calling for a heist.
I have so much freaking money, though.
Honestly, though.
Honestly, though, when Jean Claude is sober, strong consideration, strong consideration.
Maybe have the horse play.
It is what chats have.
Reginald.
We only lost 10 gold there, but we could get it back.
I don't even have to be a heist.
I can just rob them.
And I have 35 platinum and 385 gold.
Perfect.
Don't worry, rich sister.
We don't know that they cheated.
It is all right.
Come, Cecilia.
We need to investigate.
We need to go.
Let's go.
Come on, Cecilia.
We go.
OK.
He still doesn't look fully like we can just go do this to her.
She goes, oh, you know something else I've been wanting to do?
What?
Hmm?
Yes, what?
What?
Well, since we bought rooms, I've been wanting to see what all's in this bag because I didn't
really have time to pull everything out before I left.
And I'm not sure everything that's in here.
Oh, this could be fun, right?
Because we have to guess what is in the bag, right?
We can't just reach it, right?
Don't we have to guess or something?
Well, yeah, but you can also just turn it inside out and everything will come out.
But I don't know if that's like an invasion of privacy.
No, we do.
We do.
Okay.
So.
So they can go to one of their rooms that they've secured.
Going into one of the rooms, it's a very.
Emma is genuinely excited for this.
If there's a body.
If a body comes out of the fucking floor.
I warned to me that I was going to do this so that he could be prepared.
Oh, that's taking care of your DM phone.
Because.
It's a very simple room.
It's a little night adventures.
About about 10 feet wide, 20 feet, like 20 feet length.
One bed and there's like two foot lockers in each in each room and a single wooden chair.
It's a very simple room that you paid one silver for each.
So as the two of you.
Get into this room.
Closing the door behind you.
There is.
John Claude, you are excited at the prospect of.
Whatever is in this bag.
It's like a it's like a loot box, a loot bag.
It's like a bag of surprises.
It is like a birthday party.
You know, and you go to the birthday party and they go thank you for coming and you get a little bag at the end like that.
Yeah.
Cecilia, you have the bag of holding in your hand.
That's two of you are just crowded in this room.
So what my sister told me is you just have to turn it inside out.
But I don't know if they'll just like explode everywhere or like if maybe you should back up or.
Well, I will be prepared.
And he's like kind of like swaying on his feet and has his ax at the ready.
For in case a bear climbs out.
I think the bear would be dead.
And an undead bear climbs out.
OK, you.
I'm ready.
Hit my mic in preparation.
She turns the bag inside out close to the ground because she doesn't want it to all fall.
Important question.
So where is John Claude standing in position to Cecilia?
Is he anywhere in front or around just like a radial like in front of Cecilia?
Oh, of course, he's in front of her like he's much standing like a like a pitcher at bat, you know, like ready for the onslaught.
Much like a pitcher, much like a batter.
Please give me a dexterity saving throw at disadvantage because he's drunk as fuck.
Oh, yeah.
Give me this.
Oh, yeah.
Well, well, that was a nat one.
So I'm not sure how much lower it can get to that.
That one, which brings us to.
Yeah, he's trashed.
Jean Claude.
Oh, rest in peace.
OK, buried alive by nine.
I'm going to make a new character at this point.
Jean Claude.
As you see, Cecilia, as you just kind of like reach into the bag and have the bottom of it and you kind of like pull it inside and pull it inside out.
It's you.
There's a sudden flux of just mass filling the room and you hear you hear Jean Claude.
And it just gets cut out by.
As you see, an avalanche of items just flies out towards Jean Claude's way and Jean Claude just gets caught up.
Just cut out as this as literal like wooden wooden boxes, some metal chess.
So, oh, my God, metal chests.
I'm taking bludgeoning damage.
Just so much of jars and a couple of like a couple of weapons, but still in their scabbard, still in there.
Oh, Jesus.
But you see the first thing that comes out is you see this.
You see this sort of like metal like cat kind of come out and just bonk.
He's down. He's down.
Just to pull some stuff away.
It is a mass of just junk that kind of kind of like your sister is not organized and you see Jean Claude with like a chimera flying around.
It's not like a cat. I. Good to see you. Prepare for combat. And he's going to lift the silver cat in his head and.
It's just it's not real. It's not real.
Wait, wait, wait. You do.
Because prepare for combat lifts up.
It's going to activate.
It's going to be an inspection on the ground. Hold on.
Do not put Emma in a room with a red button.
She will push it.
Do not do these things to me.
As you start slamming the cat statue.
And then and then immediately as you bring it up and you slam it down again, it's it's a real cat.
I guess it is alive, actually.
I'm sorry, Kitty. No, no, no.
And he's going to bring in the cat.
If you could smack across the nose.
Wait, not a scratch. Not like a bat. Like a punch.
Like a wind up.
It's Mike Tyson.
Fucking haymaker.
Suck it in the face.
I'm sorry.
I know you know how.
Then why are you chomping me?
You are an animal.
Quick, put him in the bag.
The cat's going to try and rest itself free from your grip.
The cat in the bag.
The cat's going to try and break free from your grip.
If you want to.
The cat looks towards the window of the room.
Shut.
It's right.
And you see it kind of does the little pouncing like motion and just jumps.
You see, if you hear you hear glass shatter.
What demon have we unleashed onto the world?
That cat broke the glass window.
Looking out the window.
I will say that.
Put it in the bag.
I swear when you were being punched it was like metal.
Oh, we have unleashed metal cat. We've unleashed Wolverine.
You see the cat running away towards the woods.
You see it stand on its high legs.
You hear it twitch its head around.
You do hear it goes, finally I'm free.
And runs off.
Wait, wait, wait.
She hears that or I hear that with secret animals.
The both of you hear that.
Cecilia hears English, a common language coming from this cat.
Oh no.
I am overwhelmed.
Maybe I should not touch anything.
You should have put the cat in the bag.
Daily it is a menace.
It's not a cat, it is a thing.
Maybe I shouldn't have just emptied the contents of all of my sister's adventures at once.
You want to do something though?
This is the only way we will learn.
Come.
Jean-Claude, you are still waist deep in just stuff.
I cannot move, but I can observe.
Your leg is going numb.
She starts moving.
Is she climbing on top of it?
She's trying to get you out.
She's trying to pull things out.
Oh no.
God damn it.
He goes, alright, don't worry.
What's next to him?
He wants to see what's around him.
Go ahead and roll.
Go ahead and give me a D100.
D100?
Oh shit.
55.
Is it the fucking cat that was number 55?
No.
The broken window is a thing, but Cecilia has mending, doesn't she?
I do.
Do I have to go outside and pick up the pieces?
Maybe.
I would say you have to.
So for you, Jean-Claude, as you reach next to you, you pull up what seems to be a knight's helm.
And this is strange to you, Cecilia, because your sister doesn't wear the super heavy armor.
You've never heard her wearing a helmet like this.
You see that it has some fur around, like the sallet, which is the part that goes behind the head and down the neck.
It's lined with fur.
And you see that it actually says, and you're not entirely sure, you're not entirely sure, you're not sure if this is your sister's doing,
but it says Idlewind number one on the front visor.
Does it fit my head?
No, it's not going to fit.
My sister doesn't wear helmets usually.
Maybe it was for some sporting event.
Maybe.
Jean-Claude, toss it.
Immediately as you throw it and you look back to where you see you, Jean-Claude, you see this vial, this jar filled with a green liquid.
And as you look at it, you see that there's a stopper, like a cork on the top, and there's wax over it, wax is melted over it to seal it.
And you see additional tape.
And I will say, you're close to it.
You notice there's an arcane, magical compass encompassing this large vial.
It's about the size of two plastic water bottles out there by each other and four plastic water bottles wide.
You hold it?
Yes, it looks important.
As you hold it, it's warm.
And as you hold it up, you see it looks important.
All of a sudden, this eye opens up in the middle of the bottle.
Put it in the bag, put it in the bag, put it in the bag.
As you see the eye opens up, you do notice that there's a piece of tape on there and written on it, it says Charles.
Bonsoir, Charles!
Put it in the bag!
It might be an eye, and he turns it, the eye is looking at Cecilia.
Please put it in the bag.
Charles speak and he's going to shake it.
You shake it?
It's the little Charles.
The one eye just blinks multiple times.
Okay, I put it back in the bag.
The eye widens and looks towards you like Jean-Claude.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You put it in the bag.
Maybe, maybe what we should do is organize stuff a bit so we can deem if anything else in here might be dangerous, she says, looking at the window.
Do you know how to cast, do you know how to cast Detect Magic by chance?
I do really prepare it.
Feel nuts, Miss Cecilia.
I can make it into a ritual so you don't have to spindle spells.
I think it's because of my Furballed Magic.
I think I don't have to use it all because it's part of my Furballed Magic.
Oh nice.
He will go, feel nuts, Miss Cecilia, I shall handle this.
Material!
What is that blessed sound?
Can you hear something say that?
Yeah, in the pile, it's muffled.
Dear Dave!
I say detect you!
As you peer through the pile and thinking, man, my sister put a lot of things that can talk and move in this pile.
I'm going to throw hands with their sister at this point.
Why did she put this stuff in the bag?
Why did she just put it in the bag?
You dig through some of the stuff.
There's some really nice stuff, you feel silk, there's more of that chocolate.
Maybe something she's going to give you, but as you go towards the source of this voice, you do see a skull that as soon as you see it...
Is it the skull from the intro?
As soon as you see a skull, it turns towards you and goes...
She throws it in the bag.
I'll win, we meet again.
No, wait!
You throw it in the bag.
What is wrong with your sister?
Anything that talks goes in the bag, okay?
Is that the angry skeleton?
Are you it?
You'll have to pull them out.
Angry skeleton.
Alas, as you slowly make him rise out of the bag...
I love this episode.
During my whole time in my solitude, I have been gathering amassing dark powers...
Where is Delmyra Idlewind?
She's curious now too, so she pulls him out real briefly.
Delmyra, it's you again.
You're like Delmyra, but smaller and wimpier.
And you also have glasses.
I will kick your ass, skull.
I don't... just wait for me to have an ass first.
And then I'll allow you to fail to kick it.
I guess I'd be angry too if I didn't have...
Are you the mad skeleton?
Oh, I'm angry!
But like the mad skeleton, not just a mad skeleton.
Who is calling me the mad skeleton?
Where is Delmyra?
She promised me we were going to have a chat when we got back to her hometown.
A chat? Like an aggressive one or like a friendly one?
Kind of like looks towards you. You can't tell because the skull doesn't have eyes.
But you feel this very pointed look go your way.
And he goes, before you Roger my delectable skeleton skull form any further, what is your name?
Cecilia.
Yeah.
I will crack you on upside the head.
Oh, you want to crack me?
He didn't just throw a cat against the floor.
No, that makes me the leka...
No, I don't have a...
How would you throw a castis?
No, no, no, it was not animal abuse, Cecilia. It was...
The Sphinx? The Sphinx is free.
The what?
Sphinx.
Do you want it?
Have I heard of the Sphinx to me?
You did hear your sister say, oh, I need to tell you all about the Sphinx, but didn't get to that part.
Oh no!
Um, is that a big concern?
A Sphinx, an intelligent, immortal, magical beast that once held a vast kingdom given to them by the gods in an effort to teach mortals the way of truth.
Oh, it's a good cat. It's a good tooth-shaying cat.
Where did it go?
Joculon looks at the window.
No, no, no, seize the broken window. No, no, no, no!
When Stellar gets back, she's just going to hear us yelling in this room. Screaming! And there's some other voice, Scaligo, from the open window.
You're going to knock, knock on the skull head. What is your name? What do you call yourself?
I'm going to bite your finger off.
Stop, the cat already bit me.
She dropped him at that.
Piranha mode. Oh, ow.
Sorry, I just didn't want to get bitten.
Pouncy head mode. Pain mode.
Oh, you feel pain?
I am a talking, living, breathing thing. Have you no consideration?
But I thought nerves are what cause, make you feel pain, and it just doesn't look like you have magic in me.
I was about to check the magic spell going, by the way.
You are blasted. You are blasted. There is so much magical things in here.
You get necromancy from the skull immediately.
He's like, he's like tripping balls. He's like, whoa!
He's drunk and...
He's a psychedelic man!
I was assumed to be lich before the cursed platinum that I sell came to my lair and actually helped me beat the bigger lich.
And I also helped them.
What's a lich?
Oh.
You see, this is a bug.
Oh, shit. You don't know anything, do you?
No, it is a bug in the lake that goes on top of you and sucks your blood.
That is a lich.
Wrong, but okay.
No, I think that's a lich. I think what you're thinking of is like what you...
Is it another term for what you have for your midday meal?
Oh, a lich? Yeah.
More wrong somehow.
A lich is a powerful, a powerful spellcaster that has managed to... What are you laughing at?
Is this the skeleton from our pregame? I swear to God, it is, isn't it?
The femur of yours?
The femur? I don't know where it is. There's a lot of steak in it.
Oh my God, the bone!
Demira said she would find all my bones for me.
Oh, so she wanted to help you.
Yeah. Where is she? Where are we? Why is the window broken? Why are you small? Why are you big? You smell like mushrooms?
And he picks up the head and goes, to be or not to be.
If I had fingers, I would poke you in the eyes.
Such is the question.
You are a young clod. If you're not, Captain Grovel of the Guardians, you surely are a dilwins moon right now.
If I could spit eyeballs, I would spit them right at you right now.
I will knock you into the floor like I did that cat.
Dang it.
What is your name? What do you call yourself?
Are you shaking?
I'm getting so dizzy.
You're dizzy? I'm chopping balls, man. There's so much magic in here.
I got a head talking to me. It's a metal cat that is not really metal.
You will address me by my proper name and title.
Highlich.
Atheus.
Highlich what?
Atheus. I'll type out the name.
Atheus?
Atheus.
What?
Highlich Atheus.
Atheus. Atheus?
Atheus. Tell me. Why did Cecilia Sistia want to help you?
Who are you first of all before I get into anything?
Because I...
It definitely puked a little in his mouth.
No, no. Someone else holds me. Oh shit.
Here, she puts him on the bed.
Ooh, coffee.
Swallows it. Swallows it.
I'm a sympathy puker.
I am the proud captain of the Grim Girl, in charge of the young women and securing the moon.
Impressive.
No.
We're saving the moon.
Theoretically, the...
The moon is in danger.
He's not well right now.
I can tell.
I can feel him.
Dalmira is my sister.
Oh, that explains the glasses.
How?
Little old siblings always tend to wear glasses, in my experience.
That is a lie. I am a little sibling and I don't have glasses.
Yeah, well you're weird.
I will puke on you.
Please don't.
Don't puke on the future Archmages, please.
So, so, would you help us on our journey?
Return me to Dalmira! Who? What is this? How do you have her back?
No. Dalmira is kind of... Dalmira gave me the bag, actually, so that I would have room to pack all my stuff for my trip.
And Dalmira is back home, taking care of our father.
And now you are a member of our adventuring party.
Oh, right, I heard about that.
I'm sorry, she must have just forgotten about the party.
Yeah, when your father became comatose because of that alien entity.
What?
I was going to help with that.
You were there for that? Or to help with him? You know how to heal him?
I am a powerful magical spellcaster of the highest degree. Of course I can help with healing him.
Given that I would be able to observe the circumstances even though it sounds alien to me.
You can cast spells?
Once I am given proper form and I can return to my studies for a little bit.
But I have lived a very long and arduous life.
I know the history of many things, front to back.
I have lived scores of... I have lived through scores of years in this world.
I know the ancient history of the... I know the old magic and the new.
Okay, so was that why she was taking you home? So that you could heal him?
She told me she didn't make any progress.
She told me she didn't find anything.
What is there like to you?
Perhaps she didn't want to tell you about me and the pinky promise that we had made.
My pinky is in this area, correct? You still have my bones?
Um, that's kind of hard to say right now. If it was in the bag then... then yeah.
Better have all my bones.
I have two questions.
Do... do bone buddies talk to each other?
Give me your second question first before I continue.
Does the name Mero ring a bell?
Ah, Mero?
Mm.
Because that pathetic puppet...
The creepy corpse guy, right? He confused you with bones?
Oh, don't Mero did away with him. Oh, so fast. It was over.
No, he back, baby. He back in there.
Oh, I don't know about that.
We ran into him. He talked to us. He said my sister was the reason he was there.
Alright, well, that's like fresh lore. I'm like, I'm all about the ancient lore.
Okay, then the first question again.
Aliens? What are they?
Ah, that...
You said something about bone buddies.
I was trying to lead into the question about Mero, but you distracted me, so I just got to the point. What are the aliens? Where are they? Do I have to stop them?
Well, um...
My... my sister... um, already dealt with that.
A bunch of people were kidnapped, went missing, and only the only person from our village who went missing was... our dad.
Who... who was kidnapped?
Well, there were several people from nearby villages and towns.
A house?
And my sister, she rec... she rescued them.
There was this monster with like tentacles or something, she said, and...
Everyone was okay. All the victims made it out. We're fine, except for our dad.
I mean, he... he is alive. He just... he's been in a coma ever since then.
Were there any, um, children taken?
Would Cecilia know that?
Um, children were, uh, kidnapped, but they... they were back. They were brought back.
There were, as far as I remember, but everyone made it home.
But your dad was the only one who came back.
Which, in his state, right?
My sister said the... the monster let out this psionic blast or something, and he just never woke up.
And how would you fix this? Jelly points the skull.
First of all.
I can't remember her name as well.
Turn me towards Cecilia, I want to talk to her only.
He just turned his back. He doesn't even turn the skull, he just turns his back.
Usually, people turn their backs on me, it's the final mistake they ever make.
Not this time though.
Little Idlewind.
Celica.
Cecilia.
I said...
Celica!
No!
I was promised...
I was promised a resurrection to a fully formed body, and then I would observe your father.
I told you before, I am a mage of the highest power available to a mortal man.
If you can... since seemingly Delmyra is not here, and has left me in charge with you, you have taken responsibility for my resurrection, and my subsequent rise to power, and also the healing of your father.
How was she going to resurrect you?
She told me that she was going to bring me to powerful arcane spellcasters who could observe me and provide me with a new body.
I... I see.
Well, I mean, I guess I can do that. We are traveling a lot.
Oh, she entrusted you with me because you're going to take me... but why didn't she tell you?
Oh, you know, now that you mention it, I think I do remember her mentioning something about it. I just left so early in the morning that it must have slipped my mind.
Well, you need to do better than remembering. Goodness.
You're right. I've always been so forgetful, sorry.
Stop being so forgetful then. Remember, I'll be forgetful.
I will.
You jog your memory.
Well, yes. Your father was ascended upon by this cosmic entity that has not been seen on this world for many, many years.
Even the tomes in my now burnt down library, thanks to your sister, by the way, cannot cover the sightings of such creatures, but I have seen them myself as well.
Why did she burn down your library?
Because she's a crot.
Who thinks it's a good idea to put a gas lantern into our library? Oh, this group of highly experienced adventurers. Oh, a library. I'll carry gas lanterns in here. Oh, would that set a fire? And then whoops, oh, set a fire to make a point. It's terrible.
Makeup. Okay.
Well,
we were just going to organize the bag.
Good.
For now, you're going to help us.
I've been living in this bag for so long. I do. I do. I would want to see it organized.
Good.
Hopefully you're not half a mess like your sister.
Okay, you little shit. And he's gonna flick him on the head when he hears that. It's true, Damir is pretty messy. If I had scissors, I would cut your fingers.
If I had scissors, I would eat them.
So is there anything else in the bag that is incredibly dangerous that we should be aware of? The cats that walk on their two little feetsies?
Well, if they were really powerful, they would have escaped this room already, preferably out the window, crashing their head through it.
Would you say that was the most powerful item in this bag?
Besides me, yeah.
Good. Good.
Okay, somewhere safe.
Kill Charles.
Someone safe!
Someone clip that! Someone clip that!
Someone in the chat goes, wait, I'm still in the scissor comment.
I know. I know.
So.
You do hear this goes.
By the way, I will only be referred to as High Lord Aphius.
I thought you wanted to be known as High Lich Aphius.
Well, I decided both.
And don't interrupt me ever again.
High Lord. High Lord Aesius.
Alaa. Nope, we can't use that.
High Lord Aesius.
High.
Leloo. I'm trying to come up with an acronym for this video.
If I had a spear, I would go into your trachea right now.
See, I would not shove it down my throat though.
I'm not going to eat that one.
So the both of you.
Jean-Claude, you're drunk.
He's drunk. He's tripping. He's getting magic.
Oh, are there any other like magic that's like popping out to him that would be like, oh, I haven't seen this in a while.
You do.
Let's start everything by magic and non-magical to start maybe.
Yeah.
So the skull who is now a part of your life right now, it seems.
Anchromies.
Similary just kind of like, Cecilia, your life has turned upside down at this very moment.
That is a talking skull and skulls are usually dead people.
Who said she can heal my dad?
Who was an alien? What the fuck?
What sci-fi campaign is this?
Love the moon, baby.
You get a spaceship.
We're going to get a spaceship.
Spaceships.
You begin to sort the items.
By the way, throughout the time, you do hear the skull goes, okay, wow, you're going to put it there.
Just super judgmental for no reason.
I love him.
There's a pile of bones.
We're just sorting out his bones.
Yeah, there's a pile of bones.
Okay, one second.
And he goes, hold on, there's 206 bones in the body.
Make sure to count.
I'm pretty familiar with anatomy, so.
She's a doctor.
Well, not a doctor.
A doctor.
Are you a skeleton before too?
Right.
Was that a different voice?
No, that was him.
I remember being nice.
Well, I have a skeleton inside of me.
I regret asking, continue.
Weren't you also once like alive?
If I had legs, I would sweep you right now.
Why?
No, you just doesn't help.
No, no, no, you can, you can sweep me, but you do the sweep her.
She's no stop that.
She's you being mean.
He's going to take like a bit of like cloth and just shove it in his mouth.
That's what you get.
All right.
What other knickknacks can we play with?
So you do count.
I'll leave the counting towards the end because you're just getting bones.
So you do see.
So just just for functional reasons.
So you have a full idea of what you have in there.
Both of you, Cecily, there are two diamonds.
Revivify, baby.
There's two of them.
Just like a goody tootie, there's two of them.
I miss that NPC.
I miss my boy.
I miss my buddy.
Damir can cast Revivify, so it makes sense.
Well, and we will be able to use it.
Level five, right?
Yeah.
There's two of them.
They're both encased and it's sort of that's the neat thing about it.
They're both encased in like a sort of like a little gosh, like a little container as a little snap case.
I don't know what to call it right now.
It's getting my mind.
But it's like a fire extinguisher kind of case.
Oh, like a breaking case of emergency.
There's two there's two two diamonds, I would say worth five hundred gold pieces.
This is going to this is a two person game.
So one of us goes down, baby.
There's there is Charles Charles was mentioned.
There is a stone of good luck.
Oh, one of us should use this probably.
Hello, you should probably.
Oh, we have friends in chat.
Hi, friend.
We just turned Delmira's bag of holding inside out to see what was in it.
It's been thrilling.
The bite, the cat on the two hind legs still haunts my mind.
Sphinx escaped.
Finally, I'm free.
Just imagine like a little, you know, like in the cat returns it like the Hayao Miyazaki movie just like.
You have Atheus, the high lich.
It's even worse because it didn't have a pause up.
It was like chest out.
I think I have higher stats than you overall, so maybe you should have the stone of good luck.
Hold on.
This is my second character in Tim's game that has gotten this item.
I think that's very telling.
I'll take it.
I will say that there are some other items that would require some identifying.
There are beads.
There's a necklace with like four beads on there.
You see that there are the potions you've seen before, but there is one potion that you see in there that is a blue persuasion.
You can't tell what it is.
And you see when Atheus sees it, he goes, oh, spitting out the cloth that was put into its mouth.
What did you get?
It says, son of a bitch, she got one of my potions from my lab.
This is your potion?
Yeah.
What does it do?
Oh, it's if you drink it and then you make a flirtatious comment towards someone else, it actually sets you on fire.
Really?
Cecilia, that is very dangerous.
I can have nut near me.
Nope.
You make a flirtatious comment?
It will burn you alive.
Why did you make that?
I used to make potions for the nearby village because I would run out of money pursuing being a lich.
So.
But who asked for this?
It is way too specific.
Her name was Jennifer and she needed the help.
That guy was annoying.
Oh, OK.
He was done.
OK, that makes sense.
OK.
Oh, this is the eyeball.
Do you know the eyeball in the jaw?
Oh, that's Charles.
He's a fuckhead.
Kim, I hope you know that the skull is not going back in the fucking bag.
I refuse.
Put it back in the bag, please.
No.
What is up with Charles?
What is not up with Charles?
What's wrong with him asking me those questions?
What questions does he ask you?
He just did speak to us.
He said nothing.
We got to communicate with Charles telepathically.
He sucks.
That's it.
We can communicate telepathically.
Is he the alien?
No, he's a slime.
One of the says the only monster in my dungeon never did his job.
I once tried to give him a lizard hat, but he ate that too.
So you only ever had one monster in your dungeon?
Why'd you ask it like that?
Well, I just know that my sister explored lots of dungeons that had lots of monsters and loot and things like that and traps.
I love the idea of capturing a boss from a dungeon and keeping it with you.
In your bag.
In your bag of loot?
I had more traps.
I can never tie a knot properly for the string.
It just never happens.
The bigger lich, the actual lich who cheated, by the way, on my progress, came in and took over all the monsters, but Charles stayed loyal, but now he sucks.
So you were working for an actual lich?
Okay, what is this about an actual lich?
You keep saying things and I hate the subtext because it feels kind of insulting to me, actually.
Well, I still don't really know what a lich is, to be honest.
A powerful necromancer, a powerful spellcaster who achieved immortality through very cool means.
But still has to pay the bills because of making potions.
I guess that makes sense.
No, no, no, no. I'm still reeling from your question from earlier because I can't...
Yeah, I have to make money.
Capitalism. This is just how the world works, unfortunately.
I read all about it. Seems ineffective.
It only works for certain commerce.
But I was so close and Charles just...
Charles, you fuck!
Is there anything else in this bag that you think Cecilia should use? Is it armor?
I left out her armor and her equipment and things. I just took her old armor.
Maybe she has other armor. Maybe she's gotten so much random shit. Maybe there's more.
Look through the pile.
No armor. Other than the armor, no armor.
Tell me what you need.
I would say as you get through the more mundane items, you do find that there are multiple letters.
All of them, of course, open and then jammed into the bag.
Letters from Dominic, from some of her adventuring mates, from you.
All of them opened.
You see one of the letters, particularly one of the letters that has your name on it, has a tear mark on it.
A dry tear stain.
That's one of the letters you sent when she was deep into her adventure. That must have been like three, four months ago.
She just starts putting the letters away. She doesn't want to think about it right now.
There are some items that you're not sure why Delmyra has this.
There is a small necklace of some kind of creature's ears. They're pointed. They have fur on them. They kind of stink. Some of them have blood on them.
Because it's...
Throw that.
No, you can use that to make potions to make people explode when they flirt.
No, I threw it away.
You can keep it in the bag, I guess.
I don't want to throw away any of my sister's stuff.
Well, she brought the sphinx in her bag that broke out and walks out two legs.
I guess this is a little scam.
He's very mean. He does not hold his punches back.
Oh, he punched you?
Many times.
Oh, you might have a curse.
A curse of what?
The curse of the Androsphinx.
What is this, Ghost?
You might wither away and die in less than 24 hours.
I think God's having a great... I mean, no, no!
He doesn't look very cursed.
So strange monster parts.
There's some simple weaponry here, some forgotten crossbow bolts.
Probably been sitting in there for a while and then it's on quiver.
It's one of the items you get when you start out a game when the starting equipment and then you just never use it because you never have to.
Some darts.
Oh yeah, is there an explorer's pack?
Yeah, there's some...
My engineer's pack.
My engineer's pack!
There's some pythons in there.
I can never find the use for them in any goddamn game.
There's some torches for the warlock who can cast light.
Yeah.
60 feet of hempen rope.
Hey, the rope does help.
It does. It's very useful.
And I will say for you, Cecilia, you do find among the letters there are some ones that she's written.
Did I catch you? Goodness.
Among the letters you find there are some that she's written.
They're inked, but it seems like none of them got done.
At least the ones in the bag.
You would assume the ones that got finished were sent, but...
She tries not to look at them.
Puts them away.
She feels like it's an invasion of privacy.
And...
That is pretty much it. There's a bunch of junk.
There's some used napkins, like food flecks on there.
She probably wiped her mouth and threw it in the bag of holding to use as a trash.
Nasty!
I guess we can throw some stuff away.
Other than that, that's what she had.
You know she kept her sword on her side at all times and everything she wore, like her most effective equipment.
But yeah, the beads, the stone of good luck, the bag of holding with the magic items she carried everywhere, it seems.
Okay.
I think we've got everything.
I don't know if it actually stays sorted inside the bag.
Do you want to check?
Hi, Lord Atheus.
God, God.
Ew, no! You call him Athe. Athe is better. I like Athe.
Oh, that's cute.
Hello, Iffy. Hello, Iffy. Hello.
If I had an elbow, I would shoot magic missiles at you with it.
That is fascinating. I wish I could do that.
By the way, what's the bone count?
Oh, right.
23!
Cecilia, you count?
196.
Oh, you're missing a lot of bones.
I was off by a lot.
What was that?
It was 196.
Don't fuck with me. What?
I mean, I guess we can lay it out and see which ones are missing.
Don't fuck with me.
If the bones are gone, then I'll just have to borrow her some.
Well done, Iffy. We will find you bones. We will go to, you know, the graveyard.
Are we going to make you a new body anyways?
Yeah, why do you even need these bones?
Yeah, but I like mine.
Okay, well, you can't always get what you want, can you, Iffy?
It was pasty and ineffective, but it was mine.
Ew. No.
Also, don't people have spares where you can recreate a body or something like this?
I don't know.
I'm just too busy focusing and becoming a letch, you know.
Oh, well, aren't you special and funny? Come on, Iffy.
Iffy is...
Iffy.
Your worst of Charles.
Here, take a look in the bag. She puts him in the bag.
She puts him in the bag, finally silenced.
Goodbye, Iffy.
She pulls him out after a little bit.
How does it look?
It's a lot better than before.
Wait, was that...
It was a lot better than before. I like the aesthetic now.
Important things over here, unimportant things like the letters are over there.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I could get my sleeping bag out if you want to have it in the bag closer to you or something, since you like the comfortable bed.
You're a much better minion than your sister.
Minions?
Also, can you dump Charles into a lake somewhere?
No, we already have two feet cats on the run. We cannot dump more into the world.
Maybe...
Maybe Charles just needs a new managing technique.
Yeah, have you tried talking about time you feel?
What are you trying to say about my managing technique?
I'm saying that the best managers are very adaptable to the needs of their minions.
And times have changed. You are old school, yes? You're in the new school.
I don't like new things.
I mean, Charles is from the new generation.
Yeah.
You know, they have different priorities.
You're the new generation, so I don't understand anything.
Is there any...?
Hmm?
Oh, this is... Nope, please continue.
All right, well, put me in my comfortable position and bring me out again when you reach your location.
Okay.
Bye bye, A-Fei. Good night. Morning. Bye.
She puts him back in when she gets to the sleep zone.
As you say, A-Fei again goes, I wish I could shrink myself and then inject myself into your body and then I'll cast you in large...
...wrap you in my butthole and turn you into a pink mist.
Into the bag.
And then a pile of bones.
It showers on him.
Jean-Claude's going to say, your sister seems to have a lot... maybe she has seen these paypals?
And he points to the letters.
Maybe there's a clue. You know, it seems she's hidden a lot from you.
Not in a bad way, just, you know, maybe, you know, she's got a lot on her mind.
But maybe, you know, we could look into these letters and see if there's, you know, there's some information to put from.
Um... I don't know, A-Fei. It seems like an invasion of privacy.
Well, you know, sometimes we kind of have to do that.
Given that we are literally trying to protect the moon.
From now on.
Well, none of it will be related to that, so...
Also, um...
Also, like, um...
Most of the letters, anyways, were letters that people wrote to her, so...
And they wouldn't say anything to... I mean...
I just feel like, uh, there's so much that we do not know that your sister does.
She did not tell you.
Well, she was going to tell me more, I just, um...
She was kind of gone for nine months, and then...
We didn't... It was only a day before I had to leave, so...
Um... She didn't really have time.
Right.
But I mean, what A-Fei brought up about your dad, I mean...
That seems something that she should share pretty early on, I would think, no?
Well, no, she did. I...
I mean, I knew what happened. It was...
Almost two years ago.
But, um...
I mean, I didn't know that maybe she was...
Maybe he had a way to help.
Maybe she didn't want to get my hopes up until she knew for sure, because...
I don't know why I just have a feeling that I don't really know that he actually is capable of what he says he's capable of.
Probably not, but...
And so of course she wouldn't tell me if that were the case, because then...
She'd just get my hopes up for nothing, you know?
As a younger sibling, older siblings do their thing well, because they are the oldest, they feel the need to take responsibility on their shoulders or whatever.
But what really happens in the end is fucking us over.
Instead of just clearly communicating.
Are you sure there's nothing in these letters that we might be able to gain any insight or knowledge into our mission?
Or to help your dad?
I don't think so.
Okay.
But I mean, we can...
Nope. Nope. Nope. You do not want to? Then we do not have to.
We shall get information from Gamer Stardust Shimmer Shine.
Um, Stellar?
That one.
I... I needed... the window.
Uhhhh... um...
We could say we came in it was like that.
I think I could fix it if I had all the pieces, I just have to go get them.
I will go get the glass. I will be back.
Okay.
She'll start trying to repair anything that's on the inside.
He'll go pick up the glass pieces outside and keep looking to the woods where...
The cat... escaped.
He'll never get that image out of his mind!
Finally.
No, finally! Honestly, I think it freaks Eva out more just that this cat just... nearer.
Finally.
And with that said, we're gonna go on break.
Break time.
Little late break, but...
Snack time.
Bye everyone.
Keep posted.
And we're back.
Weeeee!
Oh goodness. Yeah, this session took quite the turn.
The turn?
The sphinx.
Oh man.
Yeah, this has been quite the...
This has been a full game so far.
Or surprisingly short so far.
I'm overwhelmed.
Okay. One moment here.
Thank you, JT.
Hi JT, hi chat.
Hello JT, thank you. Hello chat.
Chat. Sorry, I did friendly there for a second, I was out of character. Chat.
Chat.
It's not like I don't have a scornful outlook on you or anything.
Baka's.
Oh my god, you're the center.
Baka!
If chat had a spine, I would elbow drop it.
But it don't.
It's all with love. He's a sundar... it's sundari? Sundari? I can't say right.
Sundir.
No.
To sundar!
He's the guy who went to the Mexican restaurant and was like, Arigato.
To the waiter.
Who?
Timmy.
He said Arigato to a Mexican waiter?
At a Mexican restaurant.
Why?
And then when we were yelling at him, he was like, when we were yelling at him, he was like, he didn't hear it, and we were like, he was right there!
Anyways.
So we're gonna continue.
Arigato.
Guzai.
Mash.
Atan.
Guzai vash!
Right, so Jean-Claude, as you were heading out to go retrieve the glass...
The shards of glass?
The shards of glass.
Is this a good idea?
To not chew on.
Actually, while you're in this state.
No, it's not, but it's okay.
The tech magic is still on.
Cecilia.
Cecilia, that does hit you in the middle as you're just organizing everything in the room, and you're like, Jean-Claude shouldn't be out there.
But he's already out there.
She's gonna kind of keep an eye as she's trying to mend some of the pieces that are inside.
You began to make your way down.
As you do, you do see that the gnome at the table and the corporeal are gone.
The table itself is also gone, it seems.
What?
The table is gone?
Yeah, the table itself with the felt on top is gone.
You do see at the bar currently, a familiar face, Stellar, who is currently situated next to this dark-skinned young man who has a long braid that splits into a three-way fork.
The braid goes all the way down his back and goes just above where his...
It hangs between his legs, basically.
It's very long hair.
Oh, Jesus.
He's wearing these light orange sort of monk clothes, and his hands are gently clasped together,
looking towards Stellar with a patient look, a small curved smile.
You see Stellar just going,
Yeah, and then this guy showed up and started talking about bones. It was really weird.
So it seems like it's just being explained right now, and there are tensions on each other at the moment.
Shimmer, Stellar.
That's the guy I was talking about.
We let the cat out of the bag.
You see this person looks towards you. Their eyes are pretty bright.
It's a really nice bright color, almost turquoise, actually.
And he goes, Oh, hey, hi. I heard a lot about you. A lot of really interesting things.
Hello, Monk Boy.
You can call me Jaime, but I'll also take Monk Boy. That's fine.
Oh, you are a cute one. Very nice.
The cat got out of the bag.
Looks to Stellar for that.
So he goes,
What does that mean?
The cat is out of the bag. It stood on its hind legs and went, I am free now.
And went off into the woods.
That's the thing I told you about the captain here. He drinks a lot.
No, no, no.
That was one of the defining characteristics in which you kept telling me over and over.
No, no. There was a sphinx.
He stood on its two feet and it walked away.
Have you ever seen a cat walk on its two feet?
It's just salving.
I'm worried about Klauzer. She's waiting for him to appear outside the window.
It's not.
It's been a bit. Stellar goes,
Wait, where's Cecilia?
Upstairs. We emptied bag, which is why the cat got out.
Well, actually, I shook it and then it got out.
Perhaps they're talking about a metaphorical kind of cat.
By the way, my name is Jaime Tigwood. Nice to meet you.
Jaime Tigwood. Nice to meet you. I am Jean-Claude Bichon.
Do you mind if I... It seems like you've got a lot in your system.
Yeah. I also have to take magic up because there was magic everywhere.
It was everywhere. It was pretty nice.
You do sense just a passive sort of magic coming from a high beat.
You sense passive sorts of magic coming from people sometimes. It's a normal thing.
But you see Jaime kind of goes like,
Alright, let me just get a look at you real quick.
And he starts jabbing his fingers in certain parts.
I run downstairs.
No, no, no, Cecilia, you hear...
It's the same as when you opened the bag earlier. It's a scream and then it's cut off.
She hurries downstairs. You hear the door probably slam shut.
Jean-Claude, your body freezes up for a moment. You become almost paralyzed.
And then this relaxing feeling courses through your body and you feel...
You don't feel too much under the influence anymore, actually.
Woo! Pardon me. Woo! Are you a Cairo practice? What was that?
Are you... What happened?
Oh, Cecilia! I was just telling these two youngsters, this is Jaime. I'm Meti-Claude.
Were you... Was it you who just screamed?
No? Yes? Oh, no?
I would never scream, Cecilia. I am completely control most of the time.
I was informing them about our explorations of this bag of holding that we have.
We found many different accoutrements and very, you know, eclectic items.
Stellar goes, he kept saying that the cat's out of the bag.
Yeah...
Is it serious?
No... Is it serious if an Androsphinx was for some reason in your bag that you didn't realize how it got in there and then it got out?
An Androsphinx? What exactly is that? And you see Stellar like eyes widening.
Cecilia, I think I got you pretty pegged when you're lying or not. I don't see any of the lying right now.
No, she's not lying.
The good thing is, Cecilia mentioned this earlier, now the Sphinx is nowhere near us. We are safe.
It was stone and then he hit it against the ground and then it turned not stone and then it broke out the window and we were going to go get the glass pieces so I could fix it.
It spoke. It spoke common. It stood on its little, tukity legs and went, aww, it spoke.
It said I'm finally free or something like that and then ran into the forest.
So now we don't have to deal with that. That's not our building anymore.
I left the guys for like 20 minutes.
But it is not in our bag so it's not our building to deal with. It's someone else's building now. We've enough on our plate. We do not need Sphinx.
Jaime, my friend, Sphinxes are like these sort of creatures that the gods put in here to like kind of look over the place. So like they're really powerful creatures and they had them, they had them, they had it in a bag of holding.
Those things happen sometimes so it's nice to meet you, by the way.
Really interesting circumstances, all things considered, but it's nice to meet you too.
I was told by Stellar that you were going to travel with us.
He looks at Claude.
He's like, hmm, doesn't say anything.
Well, we were heading the same way anyways and so, I mean, Stellar proposed the idea that maybe we travel together if that's something that would be safer and better for everyone involved.
If everyone wanted to.
Well, Stellar's got the testimony on you, but no offense, but I'd want to get to know the two of you a bit more before I'm comfortable with traveling with you on the road.
Yeah, that's very fair.
We need to know cleaning schedule and things like that. We clean on Sunday mornings.
Good. It's good to have a schedule. We've been pretty chaotic in our travels.
Also, having no money.
Oh wait, Stellar, what was that job you were talking about last night?
Oh, um...
Hi, I mean...
I robbed a grave last night.
Like, a tomb?
That's pretty... I experienced stuff. I mean, you couldn't have done... you robbed a grave, wow.
It just settles in.
Yeah, but it's got the thing, we're gonna turn it in and it's like 250 gold.
Do you mind if we kind of like hold the finger towards the two of you?
Yeah, I'm gonna go fix the window.
I'm gonna get the glass shouts.
I'll come with you.
Yeah, come with me. Come work with me.
And while they're walking...
See you guys in a bit!
And he does say to Cecilia,
So technically, if that necklace was Madame with her faces, like, well, she wasn't robbing the grave. It was her's, right? So she was...
Returning it, it was my fauna, if that's the truth.
And honestly, I think we kind of have to make sure it gets to her at this point, because I don't want him to come back.
A medal?
Yeah, yeah, we can... we can avoid him.
Also, like I said, I want to know what is this...
Why...
Something is not right, Cecilia. It's weird. It's not insane.
Something... Oh, with Madame withers?
Yeah, why didn't she just say, this old creepy guy stole my amulet. Can you go get it?
I'm not sure. I guess we just...
Asked...
What do you think about him so far?
Um... I haven't talked to him a lot yet.
He seems... nice.
He's a very good chiropractor.
A very good... character?
Chiropractor.
Oh...
You know, when they go...
Like... not like Mero.
No, no, Mero is more like...
Hey, Nabeel.
Let us know how...
A medical professional is that just kind of like...
Well, actually, it is actually been proven that they're not actually work.
So I think that chiropractic is going to complete hooks.
So you think he's like a scam artist then?
He might be, but he didn't make me feel that down and he just went...
You know, so it's not a hoax.
Not yet.
It's gonna be.
When I get my hands on him.
When I get my hands on this kid!
Did we find the glass shards yet?
Please tell me we do.
Thankfully it's not towards like the residential anything.
It's in the back of the tavern.
You say, put your sleeve over your hands so you don't cut your hands.
You don't want to cut their hands, no.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Then they're just picking up the glass shards.
Alright.
Yeah, picking them back up safely.
The cat's not there.
The cat is certainly not there.
He is free.
Standing in the darkness.
I can see you with my cat eyes.
I really hope this is like a boss in a dungeon later.
Timmy's face.
You make your way back towards the room?
I gotta fix the window.
Yeah, we walked past Stellar and Jaime having their conversation with just glass.
Yep, glass in our hands, we're not looking.
You do have an observant if you do, but if you don't want to be nosy then that's fine too.
She will a little when they're walking up.
Just a touch of nosy.
You do see Jaime going, robbing graves?
That's not who we are.
That's not who I want to be.
To be honest, that's not who I want to assoc- I don't want to associate myself with someone like that.
We were starving.
What do you want me to say?
I'm sorry, I wanted to return-
When she sees them arguing, she walks up with the glass and she goes,
Um, I know this is kind of private, but um,
We were there and she did agree to return it when we talked to her about how we didn't think it was that good of idea and she agreed and
Then we found out that it apparently rightfully belongs to Madame Withers, so
Um, I don't know if that makes a difference to you.
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
Um, I just have to think about it.
Yeah, I wouldn't like robbing graves either, personally.
I'm sorry, Scylla goes.
Technically we're not robbing!
But, um,
She kind of looks at Scylla as she's about to go into this, like she watches her while she says this to me, like cut me off, she's-
And we did tell Mero that we'd-
We told him we were going to return it. Why are you saying it so slowly?
I just didn't know if you'd gotten to that part yet.
It's good that you're pushing me, Scylla.
We have to fulfill the request.
One...
One thing.
I only want one thing out of this.
So the situation looks like it had all of its twists and turns, but
At the end, you're still doing the thing though. You did do it with the knowledge
That you were robbing a grave first. But then it turned out alright.
But even then I'm still questioning a lot of things here.
If it's going back to the rightful owner,
The right thing to do here
Is to do it for free.
Jaime, we-
It's the only way we're doing this.
It's only right. If it was stolen from her, it goes back to her. That's it.
I got chased around by a bunch of guards, but then they were bandits.
And I had to meet the captain.
I just...
Is that a list of traumatic events?
And then Mero.
And then Mero. But Mero is the-
Also the really creepy bone guy.
I just...
At least we can put some work on this, right? Just like 50...
Times 2? 100?
I agree. I think the right thing to do if it is rightfully hers is to just return it.
Especially-
That seems like a very fair compromise since he's right. You did do it
Knowing- thinking originally that the intent wasn't necessarily good.
Also, I think this Madam Withers, you know, in exchange for us bringing back her item, can give us a few answers.
There's something odd about this job.
Madam Withers is a fortune teller.
Maybe... maybe yeah, you can exchange.
Well, for example, why did the thieves want it so badly?
And why didn't she tell you that it was actually hers?
Why couldn't she have sent this weird bone man to go get it himself?
Well, I don't think anyone should send Mero anywhere.
There's a lot of questions, and the truth be told, I just want to get away from this as soon as possible.
I think the farther away the sooner we are, the better.
So should we return this right now? Should we prepare ourselves and return this together?
I think that's a good idea.
Jaime looks at it too and goes,
Uh, yeah, uh...
Don't get the wrong idea about Stellar.
She's a- pardon the no joke here, but she's a very stellar person.
It's just, uh, desperate times.
You don't have to explain things for me, Jaime.
No, I just realized that the first impressions you made on these people just runs really counter to who I know you as.
Well, we did get to talk a lot after everything.
She's fine! Yeah, she's fine.
You know, we went through that whole situation together, and...
And I think she's... a great person.
Stellar kinda smiles a little bit at that.
Jaime goes,
I agree. I definitely agree.
So, we're going to continue our good streak of being fine, law-abiding folks,
as it says about doing a good deed.
And I guess this is the perfect activity for me to get to know the both of you.
Yeah. Um, I'm gonna fix the window first.
You see, speaking of rooms, since we have two of them and you do not have much money,
Cecilia, maybe Stellar could sleep with you and Jaime could sleep with me if you guys need a bunk.
Oh, uh, well, we have our own room, but, uh, it's, uh, do you- do you- it's only two- uh, you guys have your own room as well?
Yes, we save money, you save money, right?
You got two different rooms, right? Um, the both of you?
Yes. Yep.
So that's three rooms.
Um, yes. Yeah, we are kind of pinching copper at the moment. Um, if you wouldn't mind, of course.
Yeah.
Perfect.
We can also see how the roommate situation works, right? It's a chess run. If it doesn't work, no traveling together. No. I shower first, you shower second. Good, good.
More than fair.
Okay.
Double good.
Double good. Madam Withers, we go?
You going? Alright.
I'm gonna fix the window and then go.
Oh, right. Yes. No, sorry. We fix the window, then we go.
The window- the window is fixed.
Mostly in the right spots.
Um, alright.
So after a brief moment mending the window, um,
you begin to follow Stella as she kind of, as she makes her way towards this, towards the outer area of the town.
Now this place is, um, see, this place, Stella tells you, she doesn't make an effort to hide too much from the guards because she's heading towards like the outer area where like the farms are.
Um,
you head out of the walls and in towards, um, in towards sort of the farmlands and you already get a hint of where she's taking you, um, past some of the, uh, past some of the farmlands and still on the path of the pavement, uh, on the paved road.
You see, um, a site that doesn't seem too inviting.
Um, compare- and compare to your, uh, shack, uh, Jean Claude, this one's smaller.
Oh, no. Every scarecrow we pass is just-
Their eyes are locked on the-
Roll initiative. I'm digging.
No!
My right contact's blurry for some reason.
No. She's blind!
I just like Cecilia.
Just like Cecilia!
Um, if the two of the folks would give me one moment,
because Google Drive is down.
What is going on?
Why, nothing is working today.
Earlier this week, Zoom was down and I know corporate America had a tizzy.
Oh, yeah, I bet.
Okay. Yep. It's up.
It wasn't.
So, um, the four of you approach this, um, to a small shack area. There's no front door.
Um, in place of a front door, um, you see that there are, like, beads hanging from the door frame.
Yeah.
There's, uh, beads that you have to push aside, um, and you see this red sort of light sort of flickering on the inside,
as if there's a dimming flame, um, in- inside.
You- there is this heavy, heavy waft of, um, some sort of, like, um, like, incense
coming from this, uh, small, like, genuinely, like, like 10 by 15, uh, shack.
Oh, no! Can I fit?
You can try.
I squished.
Claude huddled up.
Just-
And there is, um, on the top of the, um, there seems to be, like, a business, like, signed to it.
Um, a crystal. Um, there's a- the name of this place is called Far Siple.
Um, and you see in between, like, the curve and the Y, there is, like, a crystal ball all depicted.
Hmm.
Hope it's not a cy-ball. I hate the cy-balls.
What- what is this?
There's some history there, the eminence.
It's from the Fire Emblem game.
Oh!
No.
It's so cryptic and stupid.
That's why I play low intelligence, so the history does not have to be my forte.
Yeah, Cecilia probably doesn't know about them. They're pretty far away. Another continent.
So, as you walk in, there is a ta- um, there is a, uh, shelves with, uh, multiple- multiple just different sort of, um, just like knickknacks up.
Again, there's shrunken heads.
Uh, ca- uh, multiple different cards of varying, like, age.
Um, a cr- a crystal ball, of course.
Uh, a T- there's a T-set.
Um, and you see that there's- there's a small table that bisects the, um, entire building.
And behind it, um, a veil behind a smoke of incense.
You see a woman with light, um, elvish features.
She is a bit, uh, she's a bit darker, um, in her, uh, complexion.
Um, small bags, uh, under her eyes.
She wears these sort of, like, lavish, sort of purple, gold-trimmed robes.
And she has a wide-rimmed, like, a very wide-rimmed hat that covers, uh, that covers her, uh, eyes.
She is a hipster!
Um, and as soon as the- as soon as the, uh, three of you walk in, um, four of you, um, more- more- more so three,
Jaime has to stay in the back because it's, uh, a bit tight in there because- with, uh, with Jean-Claude.
Um, you see she just pushes up the brim of her hat.
And she looks, uh, she looks at you all.
Um, her finger bisects her, uh, face covers her mouth, but you can see both of her eyes as they peer at all of you.
Um, and she- and she just goes,
Ah, hello again, Stella.
These are the friends you spoke to me about?
Yeah, um, ab- about the thing, hmm.
So, your fellow friends here are in the know about our transaction?
Yes, and I know you relied on my secrecy, but, um, you can trust, uh, you can- you can trust these three.
It doesn't take divination to know that this large man here is a part of the Groven Guard.
Why did she know?
That's good.
You have a-
Oh, shit, you're right.
She goes, I'm- says, I'm- says, if my- if my request has caused any sort of offense, sir, I am willing to pay any fine that has- that might go towards my, um, says, my contractor here.
Unless you came here for another reason.
Well, um, and he kinda looks at Cecilia, and, um, the others and goes, forgive me, madam, and he, you know, gives a nod.
No need for the respect. It's quite fine.
Well, I shall give it to you nonetheless.
Um, we have a couple of concerns.
Uh, mainly due to the fact that, uh, transporting your artifact, uh, created a bit of a disturbance along the road.
With not just one group of people, but two.
So perhaps you could enlighten us, I mean, we really are-
I am in the business of enlightening.
Yes, but before we continue, I just want to be sure of this first, but is any of- is any of this going to get in the way with the retrieval of my item?
Is this conversation contingent on if I receive my item or not?
Perhaps.
Cecilia's shaking her head, and Jean-Claude goes,
For the safety of both you and the members, he indicates the stellar, of whose life is put in danger, I feel the least you could give us our cementsials before we give you back your artifact that happened to be on a dead corpse.
It's pertinent that I receive this item.
If I may be bold for a moment here.
May I please have the item in my possession before I begin to answer any inquiries?
Hmm.
Why don't we hold it together?
I will release it once the answers I have received from you are sufficient, but until then we hold hands.
With the emulating this intro. Like this.
We hold it. And you allow me to tell you a fortune.
Nope. I don't want that. I want centsials.
I find you to be quite striking, Jean-Claude.
Please do not feel like you're just being mad, ma'am. It is, uh, I'm on duty.
You have that potion.
You're the one that sets me on fire?
Celia goes, what potion?
It's not important.
Jaime from the back goes, what's going on in there?
Nothing. Never mind. Continue.
I have that potion.
Celia's a real one, guys. If you're at the club, she will come through no matter what.
He will go, uh, Celia, if you would please.
Pulls it out of her bag of holding hands to you.
Ma'am?
You a pub?
And then they'll collapse it, collapse hands with the medallion.
Any information would be much appreciated.
I have answers if you have the questions.
Why do you need this?
It was at a request. Of someone else.
For what?
Simply put, my line comes acquainted with certain abilities.
A remnant of that ability can be found in the objects that have permeated throughout, around us, throughout our entire existence.
The essence of my relative, if you may.
My own divination abilities were not of request, which is unusual.
But something still precious to me has been requested all the same.
Why did you let Estella? You could have told her it was yours, from your family.
Or you could have gone and grabbed it yourself. It would feel as truly in your lineage.
I didn't get a chance to explain too much. It seemed like the request was very eager to take on.
If I remember correctly, Estella came to me and said that I would do anything for that amount of money.
But I had not informed her about the urgent part of the request simply to evade questions pertaining to it.
And it was urgent because there are others who want to assimilate.
It would seem so.
Why?
It looks valuable, does it not?
Grave robbing seems to be an increased inquiry around these times, but that is not the reason.
Simply put, I think there are other people who want it for the same reasons that the person who put me up to this have.
And who is that?
Now before I tell you, Boucheron,
I want you to be alone when I answer this particular question.
Why?
Just for a moment.
Do you think it's okay, Cecilia?
Looks at Stellar.
Stellar just kind of looks at you, Cecilia, and goes,
You okay with that, Captain?
He turns and he gives a wink and goes,
Is someone so deviously handsome?
I got this.
It's all in the smirk.
She winks at you. You got it.
Bardic?
Yeah, which gives you these six inspirations.
Yay! Like I could use it going into this.
No fucking clue what's gonna happen!
She squeezes out.
You can read lips, right?
Yeah, if I peek in.
She might.
Now give us a brief moment as I wait for us to truly be alone.
Cecilia just backs away.
Have you ever heard of the name Atticus DuVoir?
And I'm gonna whisper to you real quick.
In Discord? Where?
Yeah, in Discord.
No, but it sounds familiar to my name.
One second here.
It's French.
It's like the horse we got.
Just like the horse.
For those of you listening, I'm waiting for a whisper typed from my demen.
It's gonna be a little bit more, so just give me a moment.
It's gonna be a chunky old whisper.
But while we wait...
Also, this is a meta moment at a character. Jenny, I'm trying to find out how to bring up Mero, but I'm trying to be very sensitive about it.
Uh-huh.
You know an old guy, little bony...
Yeah, he really wants you to get this and he just full on decked people and murdered them.
Teeth like a shark.
He's like a fucking shark man.
Like, how do you bring up, how does one bring up Mero?
How does one...
She's like, oh yeah, I know a guy.
She's going to be like, yes, that's my supplier.
I don't trust any Madame Withers.
I don't trust these ladies or folks.
He gives me bad vibes.
They all give me bad...
Maybe that will be like my next PC character is a fortune teller.
Who just constantly gives bad vibes.
I have a fortune teller built who is going to be a backup character for a thief game if I ever died, but I've never died.
Oh, well, knock on wood for this game.
Don't curse yourself.
I know, but she's like mixture.
Like she does have some divination stuff, but most of the money she makes is just, you know, fake.
I wish I could just say these things to you.
I have to type in with my little fingers.
Do you want me to take my headphones off?
You could do that.
We'll give it a thumbs up when she's ready to put it back on.
Covering my ears right now.
We'll do that next time probably.
That's a good...
Hey, we're learning.
We're workshopping.
I mean, a whisper. We just remove our headphones.
He's going to whisper to himself.
Oh, because...
Oh, because we want we want chat the chat to hear too.
Yeah, that's what I wondered.
You want people to know or not?
I think we can.
But next time.
Whoa.
He goes.
That name is incredibly familiar, madam.
He was the one who requested me.
Oh, does it make sense?
Okay.
Is he close by?
As far as my understanding goes,
he is where he always was.
And where he was, can I visit?
I don't see why not.
Could you tell me...
Be warned, however, he is not the grandest
when it comes to receiving visitors.
No, he is quite secluded.
Same place?
Same. Yes.
Fascinating.
Allow me to answer any future inquiries by telling you this.
Why did he want it?
I'm not quite sure.
But Mr. Duvall is granting me a boon of my choosing for doing this.
A minor one.
I suppose the major one is allowing me to...
rum about still.
It's so strange.
I don't quite understand...
why you're here.
And I don't quite understand why Mero was so intent on you receiving this.
He shakes their hands a little bit with the medallion.
Mero?
Describes what it looks like.
You might not know him, but he knows you.
You might want to be aware and on the lookout perhaps find some extra protection.
I see.
I'm not familiar with any Mero individual.
Insight check?
Give it to me.
But maybe Atticus is.
That's a good point.
He wants us to get to Atticus.
Yeah.
I believe her, but I just want to check just because I don't trust any Madame Withers characters.
Yeah.
From our other game.
They've been hurt before.
I've been hurt before!
Ten. Don't know shit. Yep, she's telling the truth.
That doesn't even make sense.
You got it.
Well, be careful, Madame.
And I appreciate the, um, any looks out to the tent.
The, uh, sensitivity of the metal.
I must admit.
I am wildly curious about you.
But I will only dive as deep as you allow me to.
Are you curious about your past, present, and future?
I prefer to live in the present.
The past is easy to get locked into.
The future is easy to...
Well.
Even may I present you a present?
You're being very generous.
She brings back the bag containing the item and just places it off to the side.
She grabs a deck of cards.
If I get a card like Vivienne's, I'm gonna freak the fuck out.
As she places it in front of her, you see that all of a sudden, the cards, one of the cards just like, kind of like stands up from the deck.
And you see like, on the back of these cards, they have like a closed-eyed face on them.
And as it stands up, it looks towards you for a moment.
As it settles back down on top of the deck, you see that all of a sudden, it becomes aged.
It becomes...
It looks like it just withers and becomes extremely old for a moment.
And Madam Withers looks at it and goes, curious.
Do you have a question pertaining to a present journey?
She just places two fingers on top of the deck.
Where is she?
As you see as she draws a card and places it in front of her, you see a picture of a very skinny man wearing rags who has...
Who's carrying something on a stick with a bag wrapped at both ends.
And she just goes, the hermit.
Now, the hermit can mean contemplation, searching for the truth, or perhaps inner guidance.
Now, he walks through the dark night of his unconscious, guided only by the low light of a northern star, with his destination being his home, his self.
Now, how many interpretations can we have from this? And as she's saying this, a card comes out from the midst of the deck.
It just irks itself out and just kind of like, pathetically blows itself onto the top of the card.
Madam Withers raises an eyebrow and goes, it seems as if the fates themselves are eager to present themselves before you, Jean-Claude.
He goes, after all, the fates are excited at any prospect that's out of time.
And she pulls that card over and goes, not at your request, but I suppose since we're here, you should know your future.
I'm sure it pertains to your charge.
As she flips over the card, it is a garish image, a depiction of a man face down with ten swords in his back.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Madam Withers sits there for a moment looking at it. She isn't launched into an immediate explanation. There is a great pause, which in turn lends weight to the air in the room.
Ten of swords. Usually an indicator that you are likely going to suffer some unwelcome surprise in the near future.
It can mean that something has already happened.
Like you've been backstabbed.
It's a very macabre card to have pulled and one that seemingly presented itself before you, feeling the need to.
But preparing you for a great suffering, and enacting a great suffering, can help prepare you for an even better rise.
A new journey, if you will.
I can see that you have been shaken. It was not my intention to have your future been told, but...
And I do sincerely apologize for that.
Madam, no is no harm. They are but cards, are they not?
They are. She smiles meekly. She smiles with her eyes a little, you can see. One of those people.
She does.
The person that you are traveling with. Cecilia Eidlwind.
Yes. You are a great asset for her.
Many dangers are coming her way. I'm sure you are certain.
I'm quite the well.
But, as a madam withers, it is my job to observe.
I am looking forward to what transpires on your journey.
Backstabbing and all.
The rising afterwards.
Thank you, madam, for your time. I wish you a good evening.
And thank you for yours.
He gives a bow, a little short. Soldiers bow and he'll leave the tent.
So what happened, so they're immediately gone.
You are heading to Auraheum, yes? I believe. Did I ever know that? No, never mind. I keep fucking meta-gaming.
No, no, no, you're fine. You can ask questions, it's fine.
Where are you going?
We were heading to Auraheum to see where our adventure kind of goes after that.
Wonderful. Cecilia?
We are also headed to Auraheum as well?
Mm-hmm.
We did.
We have a little stuff to make.
What did she say?
I feel, and he leans into the younger, shorter fuck, I feel we have maybe a bit of a mystery on our hands, my comrades.
Shall we go to dive deeper?
Well, of course. If you have questions you want answered.
I want Maril to stay far away from us. And I feel like with more information, we can ensure this.
Yeah, I think that's fair. I'm really curious too.
Right. We leave tomorrow?
The two of you look like you need a good night's rest, so yeah, let's leave tomorrow.
The horses really definitely do.
The legend of this old, of course, he does.
Well, he's not that old.
He looks it.
Stanley's a little bit older.
Ah, Stanley. Where were you when I needed you?
What's with you and horses?
But I don't know what happened in there, but I don't want to really point anything out, but I think you look pretty...
Hey listen, I know we've known each other for like a day, but...
Shaken?
What was that?
Disturbed? Shaken? Disturbed?
Yeah.
Yes, correct. She knows my name. All of it. I did not introduce myself, did I? Cecilia, did I introduce my last name?
No.
Yeah, well, she knows it.
She knows my name too. Fortune tellers are weird like that. But...
It's fucking weird. And she knew yours too, appointed Cecilia. That is weird.
You said something about me?
She mentioned... that we need to keep an eye on you.
Why?
Just know I've got the other back.
And he gives her a wink. Code for, you know why.
And uh, Jaime goes...
Right, well, I'm not quite sure about the contents of what's going on with you folks.
But, if we're traveling together... Personally, I'd like to get to know you folks over a few drinks, or just a good chat tonight.
Drinks you say? Oh, how could we say no Cecilia?
Oh, drinks, oh we must. We have to.
It would be a disservice. It would be rude to turn down this young monk boy's affair.
I don't want to brag Captain, but I think I can now drink you by a mile.
I will drink you under the table. Go, we go, come.
But, I do want... we're journeying together though. I don't know if you guys don't mind the company.
But, me and uh... I think the protecting each other part is just going to be a sitch.
But, me and uh... me and Celia here, we still have to do our own adventuring thing.
Yeah, uh...
Well, like you leave eventually? Sure, that was the plan, right?
Nothing from time to time, just gotta get the experience that was part of the thing before we hit our home.
If we wanted to stay with each other, I mean.
It does raise a fair point to... I already told Stellar and um... we do have reason to think that we will be specifically targeted.
Not necessarily, we don't necessarily know by what, who.
Well, Merrow.
Yeah, um... and so it might be more dangerous being with us.
Well, now I can't exactly run away from the danger of someone's endanger, right?
No, and this is why you need to join us on this mystery of Merrow. Don't you want to know?
Come on, any point to Stellar. Don't you want to know how he knew all these things about us? Come on.
Scary Bone Man sounds a little scary to see, but... you know, I haven't seen too many disturbing things on this adventure, so that means I'm doing it wrong.
That's right. We should be disturbed. Constantly.
Right.
Like with the cat on its two feet.
Looking at the scarecrows again.
But no, the cat on its two feet, Cecilia, is worse than the scarecrows, cause it went like this like it was subbning the heavens.
I didn't know it was going to come to life.
Mama...
Maybe we shouldn't drink tonight.
No, no we will.
We have to celebrate our roomies, our new roomies.
And he gives them two big pats on the shoulders. One to Jaime and one to Stellar. Just the two roomies.
Welcome to the team!
This is a shit show. Cecilia, I will tell you. There's a lot that happens all the time.
Stellar looks at Jaime and goes, I've only known her for like a day, but this is a thing.
You're much more eager now, it seems, to travel with everyone. So that's good.
Yes, Cecilia. And he's going to turn and go... obviously they can hear him.
But he's going to go, the more people, the more targets.
What?
Okay, we got the drinks now!
It's a good thing I'm a hard target to hit.
I'll show you how. We'll just spar once in a while, little boy. And he taps them on the shoulder.
Absolutely, I'll honor you, Captain.
Oh, yes, you should know that I shall beat the shit out of you. And we shall do a bit of fun! I will give you the first hit.
Oh yeah?
He's going to whup my ass. He's going to whup my fucking ass!
He just raises an eyebrow, oh yeah?
Oh yeah! Let the old man teach you some moves. Let the old man teach you some moves, okay?
And then he's just like, this is all a fantastic sounding idea.
He's going to get the shit out of him one day.
But come, we drink, we celebrate. We rest, and we head off in the morning.
Should we come up with a name for ourselves?
A name?
Don't parties do this? Don't adventuring parties come up with names? Quirky, fun ones?
I mean yeah, but it's not like we're like an official party.
C-I-J-C-S-DOT-A-B-I-C-E
Oh, oh, yes, we could do it. So Cecilia, JCC, JCCS.
Oh, that doesn't really work. JCCS.
Whoa, nope, can't do that.
Whoa.
We'll workshop it, we'll workshop it.
My sister's is called the Platinum Vexillium.
Dang, that's a really good group name.
What is a Vexillium?
I don't actually know.
Can we be the Platinum Platoon?
Well then I feel like we're kind of just copying at that point.
A Vexillium is like an army or a banner.
That is kind of pretentious actually, don't you think Cecilia? I do.
I thought it was a cool name.
It's also a flower and like a part of a feather.
What? The fuck is up with these youngsters and their names?
Personally, I think it's a pretty cool name. I feel like we need to get some renown before we start calling ourselves the Platinum Vexillium.
No, I don't even want that though. What happened to the fun names?
They used to be like the Boob Brigade or like Goofy Staff back in my day.
Were you a part of a party?
No.
No, but I hear stories.
Were you in a party with Captain Felithani?
Oh, she and I met woman. A palti indeed. A palti.
Jaime.
Jaime just goes, I think I've read a book like this before.
She and I have history, that is for sure. Cecilia knows.
They both look at you.
Go on.
Cecilia goes.
Do tell.
You mean the part where she was going to...
Be with love. That's how she shows her affection.
Goliath woman, what can I say?
I've definitely read a book like this, Jaime goes.
I don't know what you're talking about, a book. It is life.
Oh, I read a lot of novels. I'm a sucker for romance novels, you know.
Oh, what a genre.
And Stella just goes, you've never told me this before. What do you mean? This is completely new.
Well, it just never, it just kind of never came up.
You only really know about like the monastery and everything, but I haven't. I read a lot of books.
But romance books, it's good for you. I respect that. I don't have time. I don't have time.
Make a perception check.
You don't read any books?
If ever I wanted to roll in that one.
You're going to roll really high on this one just because.
They must never know. Where's my deception?
It is an 11.
Holy shit! Jaime back in heat!
Oh, that's how it's spelled?
Hey, Captain, we'll talk tonight.
Yes, we will, bunk buddy.
Bunk buddy, yeah.
Yakumi, come, come, children, are we going to go drink now? I am tired. Come, come, come, come, come.
Come, come, children, let's go drink, he says.
Come, come, children, let's go drink, is exactly what he says.
Best babysitter ever.
I would say at this point, at this point you return.
And you're splitting the rooms into two each, right?
Stellar and Cecilia and Jean-Claude.
Yeah, we can save on some cash.
Okay.
As you go back, and I assume that Cecilia does not join the drinking festivities.
Yeah, probably not.
She can have a water, she can have like a seltzer.
Stellar does not drink either.
But Jaime and Jean-Claude are drinking.
Crashed.
You see as Jaime puts a tankard in front of Jean-Claude and multiple tankards light up.
He just goes, all right, may the best human win.
I am not human.
What does that mean?
He just blinks slowly with his big cow eyes.
It means you have some serious competition cap.
What is up with these humans and your whatever?
You ready?
Ready.
And begins just dunking it, drinking.
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
So Celia and Stellar both watch as they just consume an egregious amount of alcohol.
Is it safe?
No.
Alcohol poisoning is real friends.
We did not condone this on Song Movin'.
You see, Jaime drinks in a way where he's basically pouring it over his face.
It's not all going to his mouth, he's just like, ah, and the froth and stuff is like falling out of his side.
Jean-Claude is getting very progressively drunk.
Oh, trashed.
Jaime seems perfectly fine.
He's a fucking monk.
Fucking monks.
God damn it.
Wait, what level are you?
Is he a drunken brawler?
Oh, I thought he was a mercy monk with his healing.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right, I think.
I don't know, I don't know.
After a bit, Jean-Claude, you notice you're lagging a little bit behind.
Jaime puts away the tankard and just kind of like puts a hand on your shoulders, says, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's done.
You don't have to drink anymore.
Ah!
Blip, blip.
Alamed.
It says Alamed, Captain, I've been cheating a little bit.
My body's built for this kind of thing.
You little shit.
Blop.
He pukes a little.
He points your head to the safe direction where no one's.
It's just straight.
Blop.
And I'll say, sorry I have to make it quick because we've been over four hours.
You see, Cecilia, Jaime began to carry, kind of like, trying to be a support to Jean-Claude.
He just goes, I got him.
He's huge.
He's so tall.
Yeah, but Jaime's doing it.
Oh, poor bastard.
Do you need help?
Oh, I can do it.
So go take the other side.
Oh, wow, that's a lot.
It says, I don't think you're doing most of the work here.
Probably not.
Stellar's pushing from behind.
Three people.
And one middle-aged, fur-pulk man.
As a three-push, making an effort to push the junk Jean-Claude up the stairs.
Eventually, Jean-Claude, you are situated in a bed.
And the world is spinning right now.
And also your stomach.
Also your stomach.
Jaime just goes, let me just kind of like, cranks his neck.
Turn my head.
He just, just toots on your jab.
Not again.
You automatically feel a bit better, but still drunk.
Punching me again.
How did you learn how to do that?
He said you seem like a good tyrant-practor.
He laughs.
He laughs and dusts his hands against his head.
He just goes.
It's nothing like that.
I'm from something called, I'm from the Order of the Flowing Vines, so drinking's kind of our thing.
Oh, he is Drunken Monk. You're right. You're right.
You're right, Jenny.
Oh, so you're really good at treating this specifically?
Well, believe it or not, alcohol is kind of bad for people.
It can be a form of poison.
So finding the pressure points to purify a body of poison will actually alleviate some of the effects.
Oh wow, that's really interesting.
Not really.
Well, I really like studying medicine and things like that, so I've just never heard about anything like that.
Oh yeah? I can share some things about you that I know from my monastery.
We know a lot of really, I actually don't know too much yet.
I haven't traveled too far out, but I think our medical practice is a little unorthodox.
I'd be really interested in learning more about it.
Absolutely. Maybe we'll make some good chat on the road.
Yeah.
I tried to teach Stella, but she's trying to teach me how to write poems.
We're both a work in progress with all of that.
He's really good at it. I don't know, Stella's in there, right?
She goes, how do you come up with them so fast?
Oh, little ditties?
Oh, well those are so easy. They just kind of come to my head, you know.
You do a little finger motion like this, you know, bob your head around, and it just really comes to you.
I think if I tried to do that, I would just say the most stupid stuff that's ever come out of my mouth.
A part of the performance is relishing in the stupid stuff.
Relishing whatever comes out of your mouth. I mean, the first thing that comes out of your mouth is your true feelings, right?
Not always.
You know, the rhyming song stuff is super neat, but that's not what I'm really trying to study.
I'm a lore kind of person, you know, pursuing the truth kind of deal, exposing the corruptions behind things, you know?
Is he drunken or is he...what the fuck is his gut there? Some class!
That's some Stella talking.
Oh, that's Stella, right?
Stella goes, the big thing I'm doing is I gotta find the heart of the truth in everything, and I gotta get to that with this thing, pulls out a lute. She holds her lute.
And some real guts and chutzpah.
I see the truth of, like, anything specific or just...
The truth of any given situation. I see corruption, I see lies, and I think it's pretty natural for me to want to tell everyone what the truth of everything is, you know?
Like, for example, and I don't want to be too dramatic here, but if, like, a king was, like, a big, you know, corrupted piece of shit, it's my job to, like, get to the middle of that and then tell everyone, like, hey, guys, here's evidence that the king is super corrupt.
I'd have, like, a detective.
That's a really cool way of putting it.
But no, I go meet with other nerds of my college, and we talk about, we just compare notes and things like that. It's not as eventful as you think.
But anyways, we should let these two points at Jaime and Jean-Claude.
Yeah.
Good night. She tries to say to Jean-Claude...
He's passed out. He's snoring, as he always does.
Jaime just goes, I'm gonna have to wake him up a little bit because I don't want him to get up with a hangover. Adjusts his neck.
Not again!
It still closes the door.
Ah!
You hear that?
Stellar just goes, let me get that for you. It opens the door for you to your room, your and her room.
Thanks.
Ah, I've been kind of having that...
Jaime kind of insists that he sleeps on the ground all the time, so I have the bed.
Why don't you take the bed?
How big is it?
Oh my god! Are y'all gonna share a fucking bed?
I don't want her to have to sleep on the ground!
It's like a twin size.
Oh, that's not big enough.
Or is it? And then they were roommates.
Enlarge, reduce.
This is the perfect trope. There's only one bed, not enough room.
I'll just get another room.
No!
Um...I do have a sleeping ba- oh, wait.
She gave it to the skull.
She realizes. But she doesn't say it. She just says, oh wait.
I got my own. You don't have to worry.
Okay.
Jaime told me how to make one out of straw.
It'll make some mess everywhere, but I'll clean it up.
Well, maybe I should just talk to him.
She pulls out the skull! She pulls out our buddy.
What's his name?
Aphius.
Aphi.
Are we finally there? And you see Stella go, what do you want?
Yeah, right, I should have warned you first.
That's a skull.
Um...
Are you a necromancer? Cecilia, you should have told me you were a necromancer.
No, I'm not a necromancer.
Oh no, you're here.
And you see Aphi goes, but I am.
I love him!
Like I said, we sorted through my bag today, and this is Aphius.
Why are you yoinking me out of the bag? You remember my times, don't you?
Well, I just thought maybe you'd want to come out a little bit.
Rather than be stuck in the bag all the time. And also...
That's a skull.
The sleeping bag? Yeah, his name is Aphius, but he likes to be called Highlord Aphius or Highlich Aphius or both.
Stop!
You better start alerting your place.
Kiddo.
Stop!
Turn me towards her.
No!
As we begin turning towards her, you see Stella just goes, oh no no no, turning back.
Oh, she doesn't want to.
That doesn't matter, keep doing it!
No, no no!
Halfway.
Oh, I got everything I need. I've heard enough about bones today, to be honest.
Yeah, there's 196 in the bag.
There's what?
We're missing some.
You got sphinx and bones in your bag? And this thing?
Not a thing, Highlord thing, I mean Highlord Lich.
Aphi-Aphius.
Yeah, there's also some other stuff in there too.
Like what?
What's his face? What's his name?
I'm looking with Charles.
Don't mention his name.
I told that son of a bitch that his memory will be forgotten. He will never be remembered by anyone.
What is the backstory here? Was this a break up or something?
Discover my lore, do the roleplay.
You have to rank up first.
We have to rank up before we can find more about Charles.
Role-mance me!
No.
Oh yeah, Charles isn't a person, Charles is a slime.
Wait, there's so much information right now. Oh wow.
I'm sorry I didn't think about how surprising this would be, but looking back on it, yeah I was very shocked and I also screamed when I saw it so I should have expected this. I just kind of forgot.
What, it's carrying out its goals normal for you?
It's definitely not normal.
Alright listen, I know this is, can I hold him for a second?
Sure.
You see, Ape says, now why in the world would you dare to put your hands on, and you see Stellar just dunk him into the bag.
Oh the bag, okay.
Don't break Ape!
I was letting him use the sleeping bag, I wanted to ask him if it was okay.
He was a necromancer, he said that.
Yeah, but...
She shuts her mouth because it's like, realizing if she talks she's going to talk too much again.
She goes, I'll just sleep in my straw bag.
Are you sure you don't want the sleeping bag?
He hasn't been on it that long.
I don't want whatever...what?
He hasn't spent too much time on it.
Wait a second, did you just find out he was in your bag today?
Yeah, it's crazy how that happens and all the 196 bones I also didn't know about, so...
I don't know how many bones are supposed to be in the body, but that sounds like a lot.
Over 200.
Okay, Cecilia.
I think so far today you have only done one thing, and that's proved me right.
I said that you were an awfully interesting person and I think so far that...
I'm kind of envious of you, you know, if I had your life I would be writing songs all the time.
Um...
Well, I'm glad you think it's interesting and not, um...
I don't know, scary, crazy...
Oh, it's horrifying. Oh, it's so horrifying.
But things have to be scary. Things have to be scary to be interesting.
I don't know what your history is with this skull and I'm so excited to dive into it.
To be honest, I'm dreadfully excited. I want to hear all about it.
And also the angel sphinx.
Yeah, all that history started today, so it's not very long at least.
Also the moon thing.
But only when you're ready.
Okay.
Thanks.
Um...
Since you like history and stuff, um...
Aphius actually seems to know quite a bit.
That's so nice, but he's also a talking skull, so I need to get used to that.
Yeah, um...
I don't know, I was very shocked too and scared.
But I've also just...I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.
I think I'm starting to resign myself to some of the really shocking, scary things that are happening.
As long as it doesn't seem like they're going to hurt me.
How long have you been adventuring?
You know, um...a bit.
Oh god, Cecilia!
Did you literally just start yesterday?
Wait, I was just hyperbolized.
I mean like technically not yesterday, technically it was...well...
Oh yeah, it would be yesterday technically, but I left like really late at night, but it would have been yesterday, yeah.
Cecilia, you jumped into the far end of the lake here.
I don't know if I'd say that.
Horpits got drowned in it almost.
I mean this is the kind of stuff that like...experienced adventurers witness, but you're just getting it all at once.
What's going on?
I just...not necessarily experienced adventurers, like this kind of stuff could happen to anyone, right?
No, not really.
It's a bad thing if...it wouldn't be a bad thing if someone more experienced could have done it and then was going to do it and then you didn't let them, right?
She kind of like...kind of like looks at you.
She goes, alright why don't you take a seat?
She does.
She pulls up the footlocker and sits on top of it across from you.
And she goes...
You strike me right now as someone who's just kind of been thrusted into all of this.
I think it's a really important thing.
I know I'm not the person to do it to right now because you only just met me today and you don't have every reason to trust me.
But I told you that I see what you are and I believe in what I see.
But I think you're holding on to so much I don't want to see you crumble.
So if you want to talk to anything, to someone who keeps secrets really well, then why don't you start processing some things right now?
And you help me do a better job of keeping the secrets because I'm not doing very good so far.
I'm pretty good at this kind of stuff.
I'll give you the whole crash course. She gives you a wink.
Now, let's start and we're going to head over to Jean-Claude real quick.
Oh, as Jaime kills you in your sleep.
I'm all worried about Stella fucking stabbing Cecile in the back at this point.
Jean-Claude, it's like that once in a Kung Fu Panda where they stick needles in him.
I don't mean to keep you from your peaceful slumber, but I hope this is...
Trust me, you're going to thank me for this in the morning.
Thank you very much.
No. Go away.
Alright, I think that's it. I hope you don't mind the straw.
What?
Oh, I have a straw bedroll. I made it. We were taught how to make accommodations at the...
It's a whole lesson. You're not really going to absorb it right now.
I made it out of the hay, basically.
Do not let the horses get to it.
I was told by Stella that you had some kind of connection with animals.
Your point.
I just found that very interesting, is all.
I don't want to see make-up written in anything I'm doing, but it's just the first time I've ever really seen anyone like you.
I'm just really interested. I don't mean to offend.
There are many folks like us. We are known as Febog.
He sits up cross-legged, looking at you, giving you his attention.
Once known as Protectors of the Forest. We were known to be a gentle sort, but of course, everyone is different in all their own ways.
But we are quite in tune with animals and nature.
It is just part of the blood. Much like you humans do human things.
I wouldn't know too much about that, to be honest.
That's absolutely wonderful.
Are you not human?
Oh, I'm human. It's just, I don't know exactly what humans do.
You know what?
I guess you can say that.
There's a lot of you.
That is very true, yeah.
I just want to go ahead and, I don't want to keep you for too long, but I'm going to apologize for the future.
I don't want you to think that anything I'm going to ask you in the future seems ignorant. I'm just legitimately curious.
No! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, look at me, look at me. Look at me.
I know there's puke in my beard, but don't look at that. Look at me.
Oh, you should wipe that off. I'll get that for you.
No, no, no, no, no, please, please. I am an adult. I don't seem like it, but I am.
Here's the thing. Right?
I know you are just asking because you are curious.
And that is something that should be praised.
For the more curious we are, the more questions we ask, the less scared we would be.
For people in places and things that we do not understand.
For example, your chiropractic practice of smacking me in the face just keeps working. I'd love to know more.
Chiropractic, I think that would mean me doing something with your actual physical body.
But actually, what I'm manipulating is the natural key that is manifested inside of everyone.
You lost me.
Yeah, I noticed. It's a whole concept. I think a sober mind would do better at absorbing.
Good for you. Good for you. Yes. A plus. Good for you. Very good.
And, um, please stop for a moment. Give me a perception check.
Bitch, don't give me a reason to not trust your ass.
Where did they go? Sorry, everybody. I lost my tab.
You said perception, right? Something I'm clearly so good at.
Well, hold on. I do have a feet also. I have the aware feet or whatever it is.
Alert. Yeah. So I can't be surprised. Nine.
He kind of like, as you speak, he stops himself.
He looks towards the door and you see the doorknob turn slow.
But the door is locked and then it's slow. It slowly turns back.
It was.
Expecting any visitors.
He's going to ask you the same thing.
Hello there.
I mean, stands up and walks over to the door.
Hello.
He puts his, um,
you see, he puts his ear up to the door.
Not for a moment.
Brings his head back.
Maybe it was a drunken, maybe it was a drunken patron.
It's a good site.
He, uh, he takes the moment to just like unlock the door.
And open it.
And as he does.
Immediately standing in front of him.
This towering man.
He has.
Sallow pale skin.
Swarthy black hair.
He wears a.
He wears a tall hat. Not Marrow.
Okay.
Um,
He has, um,
You see in caring in one hand is a large blunderbuss.
A two handed like.
Wide like a very big gun.
And he has a huge ax on his back.
Wow.
Wrong room, buddy.
I mean, I just goes.
You need directions.
Jesus.
The person.
Uh,
You see, you see the person just kind of like.
Leering over.
He like, you can barely see his face like over the doorway.
He has to like lean. He has like lean down.
Ew, ew, ew.
Like a Frankenstein kind of situation.
Um.
Just looking towards you.
Um, Jean Claude.
He goes.
You remember me?
Such a needy fucking nut.
Um.
And you see black smoke.
I make it.
And I'm going to the.
I mean, I mean facts away.
And he goes.
And you see the man goes.
You will.
Um, and that's we're going to end the session for.
It's scarecrow puppet man.
I was right to be wary of the other scarecrows.
I was just like, I knew you would do it.
All the scarecrows combined.
I know.
To make a scarecrow.
Go scarecrow rangers.
That was a long game and I love long games.
But it's late.
Thanks for hanging on everyone.
Yes.
We go to sleep now.
Yes.
Time for bed.
For everyone involved.
Thanks for watching.
Thanks for chatting.
Thanks for listening.
If you listen to the podcast, which we have, we have a link tree in our about that has
our discord and our Twitter and our Instagram and our Tik Tok and our YouTube and our podcast,
which is so many things.
So you can watch the videos.
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If you're listening to us while driving a car, use your turn signals.
And on that note.
Thank you so much.
For everything.
All right.
Good night.