Well, are you ready kids?
Hi Captain.
Just kidding, it's TBR Doomsday.
Because I have had the worst reading luck in the world.
I don't know what's going on, but it's just two star after two star.
It's bad.
It's taking a toll.
I have to keep writing these reviews and I'm just like, I'd prefer not to.
Well, I mean, I've had better luck.
I've had a few kind of meh ones lately, but mostly alright.
Although it's been a hot minute since we recorded one of these, which means I'm backed up on
book recs.
So I'm like, we're just gonna have to give you the only the best ones really and not
even the meh ones that you could give a try and enjoy.
I'm trying to look at the ones that are new that I haven't reread that are recommendations.
And even the recommendations aren't like five stars.
They're like four, but probably like three something rounded up.
So what even am I doing?
I feel like my purpose in life has been diminished.
I have one, two, three, three that aren't rereads that are above three stars.
And that's many weeks.
Like what?
It's been so bad.
Well, I'm in pain.
I'll just briefly.
I don't know.
In between years, I'll just like say one that I reread.
I won't talk about it because we've heard me talk about them before.
But to like keep it semi interesting, I'm legit losing it, losing my mind.
I don't know.
I mean, the last one I read just took it too far.
It wasn't it slapped me in the face.
It was like here.
Have a bad book.
I said, I guess.
I don't really know what to tell you.
I don't either.
I don't know.
I feel like you got to read something else.
I would.
That's what I don't.
I don't know.
I like I may have to like YA thrillers or something.
Yeah, I was gonna have to like bust out a YA thriller.
It's rough out here.
There are a few in the Penguin Random House thing.
I don't know.
Maybe someone should just get murdered.
That's what I need in my book.
Because these romances aren't doing it.
I did see a TikTok that I didn't save, so I'm never going to be able to find it again.
But it was a TikTok of somebody showing their like two sides of their bookshelf.
And they said something along the lines of like, I have two like, I don't know, those
like reading moods or my books are too.
Yeah, whatever.
But it was kissing and killing.
The two moods kissing and killing.
Romance and thrillers.
I was like, oh, it's Hannah.
I don't know those YA thrillers.
Like I don't know why it's so comforting to me because someone's literally like the
premise is someone has been killed, probably multiple people.
But they just they do it for me.
I don't know.
Maybe it's that problem.
I mean, you know, you're going to find out who did it.
That is very true.
There was one and I don't know why I gave it four stars, but it was like a cliffhanger.
And it was like Karen and McManus or something.
Because she writes a lot like standalone ones.
And it was a good book.
But then the end, like the villain still got to be there.
It was very confusing.
And there's no sequel or anything.
But it was still good.
Who's to say?
Maybe you should just stop reading and like watch TV or something.
I did that for a while.
Like I've done like I've read a lot less like I've watched a lot of YouTube.
I've watched a lot of Bob's Burgers.
Like I've really tried to just not.
This is unfortunate.
It is because it like I don't even I don't even know how to remedy it besides just rereading
because like there's the chance with every new book that I also hate it.
And then it just keeps adding on.
I think I need to like ask for like recommendations of people's like breaking case of emergency
books.
But even then, like tastes are so different.
I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
I really don't because I don't have like any like well, I have like some Lisa Claypuss
like in the wings.
But even then, I don't have the audiobooks because Rosalind Landor, my enemy.
So I have to physically read them.
I mean, I've heard you with a view is really good.
And I have that on NetGalley.
And then I have Diana Quincy's on NetGalley, which I'm really excited for.
And if that one lets me down, then I mean, I'm just retiring.
I'm going to go live in a yurt.
Some goats.
I don't know what to tell you here.
I don't either.
I did take a brief pause to start watching Queen Charlotte.
So I have muted every single word I could think of on Twitter about that show.
It makes me sad.
I don't like and it's still not working.
I still see shit about it.
I've seen like discourse about it that just kind of made me angry on the behalf of people.
Like it's just.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm I try to avoid Twitter as much as I possibly can for that reason.
So I've mostly seen good feedback with the exception of like a few things.
Oh, which I do generally agree with.
And it is a bummer.
However, I will say this.
There is something to be said about looking at just the most beautiful people.
Yeah.
Wearing beautiful clothes.
Yeah.
Banging it out in beautiful rooms.
That is true.
And also, I think their names are India and Corey, the leads.
Mad chemistry.
Yeah.
Also that man, Bridgerton Men, it's all downhill from here.
You mean like.
Like they can never find somebody more handsome.
Yeah.
Well, and it sucks to suck for the guy who plays fucking Colin.
Yeah.
Because no offense, I'm just not attracted to him.
No.
But there's you can't follow this dude.
This man is very George.
That is the most attract.
There's a scene.
There is a scene the first time they go to consummate the marriage, which is like in
the second episode because there's a lot of drama.
And she's wearing this like very beautiful nightgown and a robe.
And he she looks breathtaking because of course she does.
And I think he says that.
And she says something about like, oh, there's like a thousand tiny buttons.
Like I'm beginning to wonder if I, you know, maybe made a mistake or made the wrong choice
or whatever.
And he takes a beat and then just goes, I'm very good with buttons.
And for some reason that like a woken, awake, some what is the word?
Woke.
Awaken.
It awoke something.
Awoken to awakened.
I don't know words.
This is what he jumbles my brain.
I said, oh, there's another seat.
They agree.
They like hate each other for whatever reason, but they have decided because they need an
air.
They're going to have sex, but only on even days.
And it's very clearly like an excuse.
They pull up and are like, well, it's an even day and then just have like super hot hate
sex, which necessary.
But there's a part where she like pulls up in his bedroom while he's in the bath and
just goes, it's an even day.
And there's one is, I don't know if he's a steward or like the servant that follows him
around, whatever his name is Reynolds.
So there's a beat where she just starts undressing in front of him while he's in the bath and
he doesn't even break eye contact.
He just goes, Reynolds, get out.
And then she's like struggling to get it off and he goes, just get in.
And I sure did lose my mind.
Batman could do frankly nefarious depraved things to me.
That's all.
Is the show sad?
I'm only three episodes in, but already the answer is yes, because you know where it's
going.
But like, yeah, that man.
I have just like, it.
Yeah, I didn't think I was going to watch it.
Yeah, because sad.
But then I'm just not.
Yeah, that's why I just blocked it all.
And it's been great.
Well, it's not been great because I still see it.
I'm like, please, for the love of God, do I have to add another like exclamation point
in there to like block it all?
It's trying times out here.
Because I know if I like see more of it, I'm going to want to watch it and it's not going
to end well.
Like, I know that for me.
So like, oh, yeah, I foresee a lot of crying in the next.
Yeah, it's for me.
And like life in general is just like.
Not great.
I'm just like, no, like I refuse now to watch any movie that's like up in the air.
Like I just can't do it.
Like if there's an old person, they better not die.
If there's an animal, God, no.
Even I know you just you just posted about the Secretariat.
I'm like, that movie's even sad.
And the horse was alive at the end of it.
And then he died in life.
When was the movie sad?
Because that's the thing.
Like I get sad about like the real horse dying, which was not.
I was going to say that's like one of the.
It's a great movie.
It's an amazing movie.
Yes, I love that one.
I was supposed to love Secretariat the horse because that's who I am as a person.
You're just Secretariat.
No, I'm just like somebody like the type of person who would like be a huge fan of a
fucking racehorse.
Carol would be the first person to run a triple crown.
I was not the first triple crown winner.
No, but what was his accomplishment?
Why was it so?
He still holds the record for all three of those races.
For being the fastest one.
So you'd be the first human to just run it on legs.
That's me.
I could beat Secretariat's.
Ghost.
Freakness Belmont and Kentucky Derby records.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm not in the business of like making predictions and gambling, but
I'd make a wager on that.
Oh my God.
Speaking of wagering.
So I watched all of the Kentucky Derby stuff, which also featured a story that would make
you weep.
So that was a time I found my new idol in life, which is a man named Mattress Matt.
He's not named that, but he's called Mattress Matt.
And he apparently places enormous bets at events like that to stir up interest for his
furniture store, hence the name Mattress Matt.
So the guy who does like all the betting and odds and stuff was like you can see in real
time as he places a bet on like there were a couple of horses that were like tied kind
of for the favorites.
And you could see the odds change in real time because he placed a like one point two
million dollar bet on this horse to stir up interest.
Importantly, the horse didn't win, by the way, to stir up interest for his furniture
store.
And I was like, OK, so I want to be Mattress Matt.
I want to have the kind of income that I can be like publicity stunt one point two million
dollar bet.
So really stirring up interest for his mattress store is worth one point two million dollars.
Like how many people are buying mattresses?
I don't know, but he was an old man in a cowboy hat.
And a lot checks out.
I was like, OK, I've seen Secretariat.
I know there are old men in cowboy hats.
I've seen Secretariat.
I think I know what goes on.
Yeehaw.
Hmm.
Oh, anyway.
Yeah.
So that's been my few days.
Queen Charlotte and the Kentucky Derby.
Nice.
Both of which made me cry.
Nice.
That's.
Yeah.
We don't even need to talk about books.
We can just end it there.
Just kidding.
I will speed read.
Yeah.
OK.
Well, you kick us off because Lord knows I don't have enough.
Yeah, we'll speed through them.
I don't really remember where we left off last time, but I think I did not talk about
Artfully Yours.
No, you did not.
All right.
Well, bet.
That's my Artfully Yours.
That's my favorite of those books by Joanna Lovell.
That's so fascinating.
I also think it's funny how much you hated the audiobooks.
I loved it.
Oh, my God.
They were so different.
But you like Rosalind Landau.
I mean, I don't love Rosalind Landau.
I just don't mind her.
I was into Mary Jane Wells.
I thought the voice was good.
I mean, I love that for you.
I'm kind of like, drawing.
That's great, but it physically made me ill.
It did something so unsettling to me.
I mean, it fit his character like good for her.
I mean, she did it.
She did it good.
She put her whole Mary Jane Wells-essie in it, but...
Not the Wells-essie.
It made an appearance.
The MJ Wussy, if you will.
See, I liked it.
I thought it was fun.
So I need a great...
I don't know if I would have liked the book more if I would have liked it.
I don't know if it's worth it for me to reread it physically or to just write it off.
I don't know.
I had a great time.
I'm very into art and art history, so that all tracks.
I liked that aspect of it.
I respect that it did that thing where it kind of builds up one particular thing that
you think is going to be the third act climax, and then it subverts it and he finds out very
early on.
Or not very early, but earlier than you would think and kind of switches directions.
I had a great time.
I agree.
I liked...because they each had a brother, and the brothers weren't great at the beginning.
And normally annoying, bad siblings really grind my gears.
We know.
But she redeemed them in a very normal way, I think.
They weren't fully redeemed, but I think they each kind of...
By the end, I wasn't like, I hate your guts.
Well, and also in the case of his brother, he was still kind of awful, but there were
certain elements that as you learn more, you're like, oh no, our perception was skewed.
I appreciated how she handled that.
Yeah.
I also thought that was really interesting.
And also not...his whole childhood illness thing, not something I have ever read.
No, I thought that was very interesting.
I read...one at the end of this episode, I'm assuming, because I recently read it, has
another really fascinating condition.
It's different completely, but I had never read it in a book before.
But yeah, I don't know if that's a spoiler for the one we're talking about.
I don't think so.
Yeah, because it was Munchausen's by Proxy, right?
What?
The one that you...it was Munchausen's by Proxy?
I truly do not know what that means.
What was his illness?
He says it's asthma.
He says, I was misdiagnosed.
I wasn't tubercular, but asthmatic, and I brought the asthma under control by swimming.
Maybe it's like they were able to die, or maybe it's in the author's note or something.
Yeah, because I think what it is is that she kept treating him like he had consumption
because she wanted the...Munchausen's by Proxy is where someone keeps you, gives you shit
you don't need and stuff.
I sure did not know what that was.
Yeah, so Munchausen's by Proxy is when he's kept sick or given surgeries that aren't...
I thought that was the name of an illness that you were saying.
Oh.
I was like, I don't think so.
It's just asthma.
I was like, I don't know.
Okay, we got it.
Got it.
Understood.
So he had asthma, but his mother was saying it was all these different things because
it was like the...There was a movie with Joey King.
I was real confused there.
We got there.
So was I.
We figured it out.
I had not heard that term, so helpful.
Learn something new every day.
But it was...I don't know.
I mean, it was heavy, but so were the others.
I don't think it was as heavy as...
The Duke Undone.
Book one.
It just had a couple of dark backstory moments.
Her other brother, I thought, was interesting too.
Her other brother.
The other brother.
Her brother.
Yeah.
Well, because he was the one that I was really unsure of just because that's a specific trope
that...not even just a terrible person, but...
I don't know.
But I liked him, I think, by the end of it.
I wasn't anti him.
I wasn't his biggest fan.
Yeah.
He wasn't just a villain.
He wasn't just an abusive brother, but he also didn't...he was still not a good guy
wholly.
So I thought it was really well written.
I really liked Joanna Lowell.
Which is funny because you gave the Runaway Duchess three stars, and that's the one that
I loved.
Yeah, I didn't love that one.
I mean, that makes sense, I think, why you didn't and why I did.
It seems like a very me book.
And I can see why.
There were a lot of elements that I feel like I should have liked.
I liked it a lot better on my reread.
I didn't pay it much attention on my first read.
I still gave it, I think, four stars, rounded up, but I didn't think anything of it.
And then I reread it, and then I really loved it.
So it felt pretty good.
Yeah.
I think I was just annoyed because the whole premise was that she has to pretend to be
this botanist or whatever, and she was so truly terrible at it.
It felt like she wasn't even trying.
But I was like, girl, make an effort.
She acted surprised when she would be all prissy and talking about the London season,
and he was like, what?
And she was like, oh no, I forgot.
How do you forget?
Make an effort.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is not what this is about.
It's fine.
Yeah, I could see that.
That was mine.
I just really liked Artfully Yours.
I liked the monkey also.
I love a wild, random pet in a historical romance.
I really do.
Not quite to the hedgehog level, but we're getting there.
But I respect it.
With a monkey.
She was like, that's my marmoset.
And I was like, hell yeah.
That's my marmoset.
Okay.
Well, let's dig out the old canals of what I read.
Well, we all know this one.
A Daring Pursuit by Kate Bateman.
I really did reread that one.
And that was a great time.
Speaking of fun pet.
A bear in a hole is worth two in a cage.
Yeah, I needed to feel something and I sure felt it.
And so did they when there was a bear in the hole right next to them.
So bear in a hole sounds like a euphemism.
It sounds so bad.
But it was okay.
It's not even hyperbole or anything.
It's just a bear in a hole.
Literally a bear in a hole in the ground.
Just rawr-ing.
Rawr.
Growl.
I don't know how to growl.
Roy Kent.
Didn't like that.
Did not enjoy it.
No.
But yeah, that's mine.
Okay.
I'll throw out a couple contemporaries because I don't read a ton of those.
But a West Side Love Story by Priscilla Olivera.
I thought it was really fun.
It's a closed door.
So not super steamy, but very entertaining.
It's a Romeo and Juliet retelling.
Minus the death, obviously.
Also of the two moods, it's kissing rather than killing.
It's kissing rather than killing.
They meet at a New Year's Eve party and anonymously have a really good makeout kiss at a bar and
then think they're never going to see each other again and then find out that they are
a member of rival families, mariachi bands, and they're competing in a battle of the mariachi
bands.
And they're tasked with keeping the family feud from getting too crazy.
So they're helping each other out.
Also it's set in San Antonio, which is fun for me.
Oh yeah, is that the one you said your address or your...
Yeah, the hero lives in my neighborhood.
Your neighborhood, that's what I meant.
Not in specific, but there's a mention of, oh, in the mansion by the country club.
And I live not far from the country club and I was like...
And there's a mention of like, oh, he gets out on this road and then takes this to get
to I-10 to go into the city, which is exactly the route that I take to go into San Antonio.
So I was like, jarring.
Never read about my own neighborhood in a book before, but it was really cute.
It was fun.
And then what?
I was just saying, I had read one by Helena Hunting, The Good Luck Charm.
Terrible book.
Don't recommend it.
It's set in Minnesota and the college in it is the college where my parents went to and
it's in the town where I live.
And so like my town was mentioned and in The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren.
Again, don't recommend it.
But my town is also mentioned, but they also gave us a hotel that we do not and have never
had.
And I'm like, you could have just one quick Google search.
Could have just not done that, but you know.
I don't know.
On the flip side, the Farrah Rashan's Boyfriend Project series are all set in Austin, which
is where I went to school.
So there are mentions of like the university and also like there's different parks and
things that they go hiking at and they go to restaurants on like 6th Street downtown
and stuff.
And I mean, she lived in Austin, so like she knows what she's talking about.
But that was all those also were fun.
It's always really fun.
I live there.
Less fun in historical romance because none of those are taking place in my hometown.
No, no, no.
Oh no, you froze.
Oh no.
I'm back.
Oh, you're back.
Be here.
And then the other contemporary, I think the only other one that I've read recently, because
I've really been doing the historical thing, was In a Jam by Kate Canterbury, which we
love.
For my book club.
And it was too long.
It's one of those like indie romances that I think suffers from the too long syndrome.
And the we get paid by the page.
The writer's got to eat.
But I will say, I do think part of it is just that there were so many different things going
on, which felt very realistic to me.
It wasn't like overwhelming.
It was just like he's a farm business owner with a lot of different like smaller projects
and she's recovering from getting jilted and is like dealing with this will situation
and this farm that she inherited and he's taking care of his niece whose mom is living
a serving a life sentence.
And so the niece is like really traumatized and having a hard time at school.
So there's like a lot of things.
But I did have a good time.
That man is the most wife guy.
Like it's a marriage of convenience.
And he just calls her wife all the time.
And also they were friends in high school and then she left and he's been pining for
her the entire time.
But he didn't think he was going to see her again.
But now they're living next door and then he offers to marry her so that she can inherit
her farm.
And that man is down so bad, but she doesn't know because he's really shy.
On a scale of one to me, where would you rate my like my potential of liking it?
You're a wild card.
I know.
I have a really hard time gauging with you.
I think I wouldn't recommend it to you now in the midst of this.
OK, damn it.
Because I think it's too long for you.
I think you get mad.
OK, that's valid and fair.
I will say the kid.
I mean, I do think she's written a little bit old for her age, but I also have like
a precocious like my family.
We tend to be very precocious and smart as kids.
So I didn't think it was that drawing.
She's supposed to be six.
And she does.
She seems a little advanced for that.
That's one criticism that I normally don't have fault with, just because I think.
Well, I was going to say, you think actually you might enjoy this.
Enjoy it.
Really, really heavy because again, he's like her caretaker.
But she has like a potty mouth, so she swears like a sailor and he's constantly like Jenny.
You cannot say I'm like one of the bits is she likes to go like take care of the animals.
But one of her choices is she has to collect eggs from the chickens and she hates the chickens.
So you can always hear her being like, you fucking asshole, like berating the chickens.
I thought she was really funny.
So you might enjoy that.
And also, if you're into the wife guy thing, I am.
And he's like a filthy talker.
Like he actually is kind of horrified by the things he wants to do to her.
And it takes her being like, no, actually, that's always very fun.
That's a funny thing.
You fuck me up against the barn wall.
And he's like, no, I can't treat you that way.
And she's very into it.
So, OK, I have like a lot of audible credits to spend because like I just keep the subscription
and then never purchase anything because the library and gobo.
So I won't buy it now, but I'll buy it.
Well, maybe I should buy it now before it's like purchased by a traditional publisher
and they make it impossible to buy.
I don't know about the audio books.
I read the digital.
Yeah, I've been interested by that when I really love the spine on that book, the like
physical copy.
It's like the jam von Baman like thing.
Oh, I didn't know that.
It's super cute.
Well, I mean, I thought I was funny if too long.
That one was interesting, though.
My book club, half of us like enjoyed it and the other half was like, nope, didn't like
it.
So which I thought was interesting.
Anyway, those were my contemporary wrecks, I do believe.
OK, and I'll add another one.
Jasmine and Jake rock the boat by Sonia Lali.
I had really enjoyed the Holly Jolly Diwali and that's the same author.
This one was really fun.
Again, that one, I don't even know if Holly Jolly Diwali even mentioned sex.
I don't even think it really did.
So like it wasn't jarring at all to not have it in there.
This one, I will say the closed door hurt a little bit more because he was just very
hot and like I just I wanted to see the skills put to the test.
I will say that.
And it like took a pretty long time, I think.
So like I didn't know what was going to happen.
But yeah, it hurt a little bit.
But he got like pretty serious during FTSE at like dinner one time and that was really
fun.
Like it was just because they were so the premise is that her parents are going on like
a not like a retirement, but for like retirees crews.
OK, and she thinks that it's for anyone.
She doesn't know that it's just for octogenarians.
Does that mean they're 80?
OK, probably not just 80 people.
Well, it's a fun word, but.
I don't know.
Septuagenarians and septuagenarians.
Yeah, probably 62.
Whatever.
Old people.
I was trying not to say old people, but old people.
So she gets on this boat and everyone's old besides her.
And then she sees this guy that she babysat one time a long time ago.
So he's like a few years younger than her.
It's not like a creepy.
I mean, she babysat him one time and just eat it.
I was there.
And then it's kind of like not necessarily like enemies.
They're just they get off on the wrong foot.
She thinks he was an employee because he's wearing like the attire that would look like
an employee, like a white button up.
He gets real offended.
He's like, what?
And then they're just like stuck on this boat of them.
And it was just really it was fun and cute.
And oh, yeah, I'm like looking at my review now.
And the scene we were robbed of was in the shower.
Yeah, that it hurt.
But the footsie was fun.
So I just love a good boat moment.
And I had the cover has the Northern Lights.
And the day I read it, I also saw the Northern Lights in Minnesota.
So happy little yeah, happy little coinkydink there.
Good luck.
So that's that's that's mine.
This episode is so unserious, I can't.
Well speaking of unserious, I did the Bride Goes Rogue and the Duke gets even.
Yeah, you did.
Both of them were about on par for me.
I will say both of them lacked just like a little bit of the emotion that I wanted.
It was like very physical heavy and then wrapped up kind of quickly at the end.
And I was like, well, I think book four especially did that.
Yeah.
I mean, Preston, too, did kind of like a light switch flip where he was like, oh, marriage.
And I was like, you spent this whole book being anti marriage.
And now here, whatever.
I wasn't mad about it.
They were still like four stars.
Yeah.
What did you give the Lady Gets Lucky?
Was that still for it?
It was also for it was a four.
Yeah, they were all four.
But like a solid.
I mean, I do love the four star.
I think I liked these better than that one, but they were all about on par and they sure
were sexy.
Yeah.
I saw your update when you started the Bride Goes Rogue.
And I remember when the arcs were going around whenever that came out and simultaneously
all of us were just like, the hell?
My lady gets lucky.
Yeah, the mic.
Bye.
Like rain.
That's like the review where they were complaining because they're like, I don't think they
actually would have said fuck that much.
I was like, let that man say fuck.
He was so horny the whole time.
I love that.
Yeah, that one I didn't because I really loved the Lady Gets Lucky.
And that was a five star one for me.
And so I wasn't expecting to love Preston's book as much.
But honestly, I just love the commitment to really hot sex.
And I just had a really fun time with the gravel.
There is a commitment to that.
Yeah.
Like I thought the gravel really worked for me because she didn't like, I mean, it wasn't
like the longest thing ever.
But I love when the woman is like intent on like making him gravel and like also just
sitting with her emotions and isn't like forced to give up in like two percent.
Like that one took a good amount of the ending.
So yeah, it's true.
And then I was pleased that Lockwood was sexually gifted as well.
Oh, he was so sexually gifted.
I was actually I was like, wow, get it.
Yeah.
I mean, he may have a poor heart, but he sure can have mine.
Like just take it, Andrew.
Take it to the bank.
Yeah.
He he did something.
So personal.
A horny duke who's into hair pulling.
It's actually so something that can be so personal.
Where's the lie?
The way that I would hop across the pond for that man.
Oh, I'd hop.
I'd hop, skip and jump.
He says jump.
I say how high I'd use the Empire State Building as a like a pole vault.
And I just jump right over that pond.
I actually just became an Olympic level swimmer.
We're just paddling.
Still the doggy paddle.
I'll get to your heart will never be stronger than the after.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's all.
I don't even I don't remember a lot of the details because those were a hot minute ago
and I've read a lot of books since then.
But I do remember that both of those men were so sexually gifted.
And I appreciated that.
Speaking of sexually gifted men, next one reread who knew Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa
Dare, I just needed that book because it makes me feel things.
Both of which are good feelings, but they're two separate feelings, sad and horny.
It's like a pretty heavy book.
It's the heaviest one in the series and like shit goes down, but it does something so personal
just because like his mother is there and like it wakes up and he's like hitting on
his mom because he doesn't know.
She like knocked, she like gave him drugs and knocked him out and drug him to Spindle
Cove.
And so he's in the carriage and he's like feeling up her leg because he's like, oh,
my one night stand.
Nice.
And then she's like, bro, I'm your mom.
And he's like, oh shit.
And he's like, you've drugged me.
And then he wakes up and she's like, you're going to get a wife.
And that's what's happening because I want a grandchild.
And he's like, I don't actually want a wife right now.
So he goes in to Spindle Cove, which is, you know, full of spinsters.
And she's like, pick one.
And he's like, I'm going to pick Pauline, the like barmaid or whatever.
And so he's like, hey, want to be my duchess for a week?
You have to like be terrible at it and then you can go home and I'll pay you a lot of
money because she wants to have like a traveling library of like Smutty Books.
So honestly, she's great.
I love her so much.
And so she's like, sure.
And basically, it's just his mother teaching her how to be a duchess and him being gifted
sexually.
Yeah.
And there's just I've talked about before, but there's a lovely scene towards the end.
That's like basically the like right before the third act.
She's like, we're like our social classes are just too different to like ever make this
work.
And then he like gets her over a desk and he like says all of his titles, all the courtesy
titles like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he's like, but my name is this and my title is this and I'm your slave Pauline.
And it's so hot.
Like and the narrator, she like Eva Kaminsky.
She's so good.
And then like during the scene, it's like this thrust, this thrust.
It's such a good scene.
Yeah.
So I read it for that.
And then there's just like the mother, she was such a good character.
It's a great book.
And you need to read it.
And that that's that on that.
Well, I'll get there eventually.
You will.
Our book club's next read is A Night to Surrender.
So oh, really?
I need to I've only read that one once.
Somebody suggested she wanted to try historical romance.
Well, the one who suggested it had read the Raycast with us.
Gotcha.
And the most recent Christina Britton.
So I'm slowly but surely getting her into it.
And she was like, I want to try one of those.
And I was like, oh, we can do a historical romance.
My book friends, we can do that.
And if you read A Night to Surrender, you're so close to Colin and Minerva.
Just one book.
Well, anyway, I read two Courtney Mullans, although different series.
So Her Every Wish is a novella that comes after the first book in the Worth saga, which
I've now read all out of order.
I read like the third one and then like 2.5 or something.
There's a novella and then there's like a prequel novella from many years earlier that
I'd also read.
And then I went back and read number one and now I've read 1.5.
So I think the only one I'm still missing is number two.
I think.
Gotcha.
Whatever.
It doesn't really matter in the case of this one because it's like side characters that
are in this novella.
And it made me cry because Courtney Mullan novellas.
Yeah, just make me cry.
I don't know what she puts in them.
A lot of feelings and probably some drugs.
But Her Every Wish is like kind of a side character who she's very poor.
Well both of them are poor, but she enters this contest.
Like somebody leaves a lot of money and there's like this contest that they're having.
It's like a stipulation that they have a contest and whoever presents like the best business
idea wins the money to start their business.
And nowhere does it say that no women are allowed to apply, but she's the only woman
there and they think that she's a man until she stands up and is like, no.
And she basically gets laughed off and is not very confident.
Or they do like an initial proposal.
The judges choose like four, I think, to go forward and then they have a week to really
prepare.
But one judge picked her, so she gets to go forward even though everybody was mean to
her.
And her like former love who they had a really terrible falling out offers to help her prepare
and be more confident.
He is a very interesting character.
His name is Crash.
He is racially ambiguous, like not even he really knows.
He was like raised on the docks.
I think his mother was a prostitute.
So there are like three different men who all claim to be his father and like would
come visit him.
I think we have some stuff, yeah.
And now he like lives with his aunts and just has a great time and all the women are attracted
to him.
But he was very, they had like a romance with her and then she said something really hurtful
that she didn't realize was hurtful, but he reacted badly and like lashed out at her and
they separated.
And now he's back and he's selling essentially bicycles.
There's a lot going on here.
Bicycles aren't big yet and he's teaching her how to ride a bike.
I don't know.
I don't know, but I do know that I cried.
They have this whole little romance where he's helping her out and they're like reconnecting
and they've grown and changed his people and I wept.
Anyway, the other one is the first.
No, just kidding.
It's like the fourth book in the Brothers Sinister series because why would I read Books
in Order when I could just read this one?
It's called The Suffragette Scandal.
He's like a suffragette who owns a newspaper and he is presumed dead.
I love that.
He like was, I think he's a duke?
But his family was really terrible and he was in, I want to say France and he like got
left there and during the war.
No, like they intentionally like, I think his father like shipped him off to go work
for a blacksmith because he was like, you need to learn your duty or whatever.
Thinking he would hate it, but he actually was really into it and he got a very, and
then the war happened.
He sure did get a toned body, but then the war happened and he like went to like write
to get him out and his brother told the British.
What's it called?
Oh my God.
What is it called?
Embassy, embassy.
Okay.
Told the embassy that there was an imposter going around saying that he was like the guy.
Oh yeah.
But when he went, they turned him away because his brother had told him that he wasn't actually
who he said he was.
So he got like trapped during this war and like tortured and all these horrible things
happened to him and everybody presumed him dead and his brother inherited, but now he's
back and he doesn't want to be the duke.
And so instead he's just like coming to take vengeance on his terrible brother and his
terrible brother is trying to take down her newspaper who employs a childhood friend of
his.
So he like helps her without telling her who he is to get back at his brother.
There is a lot.
It was a good time though.
I was like the drama.
I was eating it up.
Eating it up.
Also the friend who works for the newspaper that was like his child or really the younger
brother of his best friend is the hero of the novella Talk Sweetly to Me in which he
writes for the newspaper and he's the one that writes the ask a man column in this woman's
newspaper.
That's fun.
And so it's like very snarky and funny and he always signs it like Stephen Shaughnessy,
actual man.
Oh yeah.
You talked about that.
Right.
And they're like, can you do the actual man thing?
He's very fun.
I like Stephen a lot.
Anyway, so those were my Courtney, Courtney Malone's.
That's fun.
I who knew reread a Duchess by Midnight by Sheris Michaels.
I needed some good old fashioned bird watching fucking and I got it.
It's a great book.
Good old fashioned.
Good old fashioned happened in the past.
History books have told me.
What kind of history books are you reading?
Historical romance.
It's the number three in Awakened by a Kiss, her series.
I liked all the books in that one, but this was definitely my favorite.
She's like the evil step sister basically.
So you have Cinderella in the story and she's married to the prince.
And so her name is like sin and she's got the prince and then our heroine, Drew, Drew's
Mina is like one of the like wicked stepsisters.
And she also has another one who's actually kind of like not really wicked, just not a
great sister.
And then you've got like the evil stepmother.
And so she like was wicked in her past of just like being a kind of shitty person.
And she got over that because she got her heart broken.
And then she became like friends with Cinderella and just like turned into a good person and
started to do this business where she helps debutantes get ready for society.
And so she's tasked to come to the castle.
And then there's also a Duke who has been tasked to come to the castle who is like friends
or something with the prince.
And basically he his sister showed up with two wards or like her two daughters.
So he's basically now got like two wards and they're trying to get them suitable for a
season.
They were in a cult.
It was a whole thing.
It was a wild book, but it's like my favorite fairy tale retelling book.
It was just so much fun.
I loved them both.
Like I said, bird watching.
We got to be quiet because the birds.
It's a really good book.
There was a wild amount of sex that I just wasn't prepared for because neither of the
other two books were like exceptionally like sexually gifted.
But this one, it was so much fun.
I don't I don't know.
I mean, she really put everything into that one because it's great.
And the cover is beautiful.
Like it's so pretty.
That dress.
I want it.
And yeah, that is a great book.
You could totally read it as a standalone.
So yeah, so you have it.
There you have it.
Speaking of fairy tale retellings, I also read that Eloisa James.
Yes, you did.
I said midnight.
What was that for?
Just shitting giggles or.
It's for a secret project that I'm working on for Instagram.
Nice.
I was like, it was a really random one when I saw it.
I was like, interesting.
It was.
There is a purpose.
It may not be revealed for months yet because I do a thing where I'm like, we should do
a roundup of like historical romance for X for X thing.
But then I only have a few.
And then I'm like, well, I should find some like fairy tale retellings.
I should find some friends to lovers.
I should wait.
If you need more fairy tale, read her Beauty and the Beast one of that series.
Oh, I intend to read the whole series.
Don't get me wrong.
We'll get those two.
But it happened.
And then I got sidetracked.
Anyway, I don't have a lot to say.
It was Cinderella.
But with a twist, there was some all night edging.
It was so fun.
It was great.
It was like edging via like a health book.
Like she got that like book and he was like, your geology was.
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Like he like she had a book and he like told her that he'd come back for.
And then she was like, I don't want to read this because their dicks don't look like yours
and they're not big and it was like a steamy.
But like one of those.
It's like, yeah, it was like about sex.
Yeah, no, like, no, but it wasn't like she didn't find it steamy because she was like,
no, I'm saying that it was like sexual diagrams and stuff.
It was.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Like health, like that.
Yes.
Yeah.
It was I have nothing else to say.
It was just a good time.
And the side characters were fun because she was she was pretending like because she was
one of the she was Cinderella.
And then one of the stepsisters needed her to pretend to be her at this thing where she
was already engaged.
So she wasn't supposed to be like flirting with the guy, the prince.
And it was that was a fun one.
It was.
Speaking of princesses.
Oh, I also read Seize the Fire by Laura Kinsell.
Oh, yeah.
Which it's all fun and games.
It's all fun and games and helping injured baby penguins while you're stranded on a remote
island.
Wow.
Until until until the PTSD kicks in and we start delving into the horrors of war.
This was a great book.
I will say 1989, which isn't a Taylor Swift reference.
I was going to say I was like, welcome to New York.
There's some unfortunate like pro colonialism, Orientalism stuff going on, like a really
kind of he has like an Egyptian servant essentially who follows him around, who's kind of an unfortunate
caricature.
And there's some other problematic they spend some time in a Arabian type country, I think.
Like it was.
So those elements not great, unfortunately.
However, I will say this.
It was dedicated to Vietnam War veterans, and if you know that, the narrative gets very
layered.
Because it very much is like a post Vietnam War book.
Interesting.
So it's like a kind of an antihero scoundrel character who is a war hero.
Yes.
Yeah.
Anyway, he's like kind of a terrible person, but everybody he's a war hero.
But not it's like very clear that it's sometimes it's accidents where he ends up saving people's
lives when he was actually trying to kill them.
Like it's not great.
And he's kind of a terrible person.
Yeah.
But nobody really knows that.
And she is a princess of like a tiny little European country, but she's been raised in
the countryside in England to like, I don't know, I think they like got her out because
her uncle is terrible.
Whatever.
I think her uncle like killed her dad.
There's a lot of drama.
She's been raised in the countryside reading a lot of philosophy and she wants to go back
to her country and lead the people in a revolution for democracy.
And he is someone who has spent basically his entire life in naval service, which he
didn't even want to do in the first place, experiencing really horrific.
Like the terrors of war and things.
So it starts out as just like she engages in a lot of hero worship and needs his help
to like smuggle her out and get her back to her country.
And he fully plans to just like betray and take advantage of her and then abandon her
because he's not a good person.
And then it very quickly becomes a narrative of like rich, idealist, privileged, sheltered
people who don't know the realities of war versus the people who have to actually endure
the war.
And they go on like all these try they end up in different countries and then they end
up on a ship in like Australia and then they get stranded on an island and then they're
taken prisoner by these.
So there's a lot happening here.
Really intense PTSD.
She also endures some things.
It was like a very surprising ending.
I mean, they end up together, obviously, it's a romance, but it really it took me by surprise.
So quite lovely, however, do be aware of the Orientalism and all of that going in.
And also, again, like really heavy PTSD and like horrors.
He saw and did some really awful things.
And also, they experienced him like pretty awful.
He gets like essentially waterboarded on page at one point.
They like leave her made to go get raped by this guy who took over.
Like, it's not great.
There's a lot is a lot.
So torture, war, death of innocence, slavery, all the things, all the things.
However, it was a really excellent book.
The death of innocence.
Yeah, he saw some things in that war.
Oh, it was rough.
You come to realize why he is the way he is.
Well, but but when they're stranded on an island, he helps an injured baby penguin who's
been left behind by the flock and they raise it because they're stuck on that island for
months.
So they raised the baby penguin and then they have to like go help it back to the flock.
And he is like really sad about it.
Well, sorry to that man.
But also, I just want you to imagine a grumpy scoundrel of a man with a tiny baby penguin
on his boot, just like chirping up at him.
And he's so embarrassed to have been caught taking care of this baby penguin.
Hmm.
This Jocko romance is so fun.
Yeah.
We have a baby penguin.
Monkeys, baby penguins.
Dang.
Hedgehogs.
Gotta have them.
Ferrets.
What?
Ferrets.
Dodger.
Oh, Dodger.
Oh, Dodger, my Dodger.
Or if you're Prince Harry, oh, Dodger, my Dodger.
Side note on that frickin' Harry audiobook.
My dad is a shameless audiobook listener in the car, no matter what audiobook he's listening
to, he listens to it very loud.
We do a lot of curbside pickup orders and we pulled up to Sam's Club and he's on the
chapter – I am in the car.
He's on the chapter of the Prince Harry book of where he's like talking about his frost
bitten Dodger and just like – and you can hear it playing his day outside of our truck.
And I'm like, father, maybe turn it down a little bit.
These employees don't need to hear about Prince Harry's frozen off penis.
And he didn't.
So they heard it.
And that's all.
I honestly do respect the level of confidence.
Yeah, it's confidence.
Because I will turn down music, audio, but anything.
It's going all the way down if I'm in an area where somebody could hear.
Yeah, no.
And I'm just looking at him, just like, are we serious?
We're doing this right now?
And I already didn't want to be listening to it.
Everything I've heard about that book is not necessarily against my will because the
first time I was like, what?
And I understood what it was talking about.
I was like, oh.
And I was like, OK, now everything else is against my will.
I don't have any problem with him.
But that book, the things I have listened to at this point, and I was forced to like
listen to it in the car.
And it was just a wild time.
In another note for the book that I'm going to talk about, no relevance, One Fine Duke
by Lenora Bell.
It's my favorite Lenora Bell book, I think.
It is number three in her School for Duke series.
All the books are good.
It's the one with the flowers.
Yes, it's the daisies.
And it's such just I love the dynamic of the two because he is like the stodgy older brother.
Like he's the Duke and he's like reserved and whatever.
And she is the daughter of like a spymaster.
No, she's the granddaughter of a spymaster.
And so she's like hell bent on marrying this guy's brother, Rafe, who still doesn't have
a book yet.
I am so excited for whenever that man gets a book because he's been up to some ruckus.
You know, he's got to be hot because his name.
Oh, he's got to be real hot because he was like running naked down the street being chased
by his mistress's husband.
And Andrew had to go like rescue.
I don't know what it says about me that I'm like, oh, that's hot.
It should.
Yeah.
I mean, a married woman.
But honestly, I mean, Drew is like my hero, like to a T like he is perfect.
But like Rafe could also get it, you know, and he has like a demon sex chair.
He's got a lot of shit.
He has like a whole room full of like sex toys and they like discover it in his like
house.
And then she's like, what is this chair?
And Drew's like, don't don't go to that chair.
And she's like, what?
And she presses the button.
She gets like trapped in it turned upside down.
So her legs are like spreading further apart.
So she's like like ass overhead, ankles spread.
And he's like, well, I told you.
And she's very embarrassed and it's very fun.
And they're like dildos.
And it's great.
So, you know, Rafe gets up to it.
But he's also like putting on like a show like he's he's also a spy.
So she knows he's a spy.
Drew has no clue who's a spy.
So Drew just is like my brother, Rafe is a scoundrel.
Why do you want to marry him?
It's great.
I would cite the chair.
Why do I want to marry your brother?
Sorry, did you not just see the sex dungeon?
Exactly.
And like also, let's not forget his name is Rafe.
That's the name of a sexually gifted man, if ever I've heard one.
It's not a lesson one, but lesson number three, Rafe is the name of a sexually gifted man.
Like you can never name your kid Rafe.
No, no, absolutely not.
Yeah.
So I just the forced proximity because she's trying to because then Rafe gets kidnapped.
So they have to go rescue him and they've got to like do all this historical romance.
And Drew is just like he hasn't even know that Rafe's a spy, like for half of this book.
She just doesn't tell him.
And so he's just very confused.
And the forced proximity is great.
And there's a scene where he's like he wakes up and he's like, wow, I should masturbate
because she's pretty.
And so he like stands up, looks in the mirror is like preening and then like it's in front
of the window and she's on the lawn hiding in a bush.
So she sees it all and she's like, well, why is Drew looking real hot?
And also doing that.
It's just a really fucking fun book.
And the cover is in the book.
He like has a dream where he's like pleasuring her in a field of daisies.
And I think it's in the epilogue where they like go off and find a field of daisies and
have fun in it.
It's Lenora.
She's a I love her writing.
I've never read a book of hers that I didn't like.
They're all so much fun.
And yeah, the audiobooks great.
But I think it's Beverly Crick.
So like you depending on that.
But I don't think she did like a weird voice or anything for him or for her.
They're both I don't know, upper class.
So but yeah, that one's so much fun.
You can tell, like I've been reading all the ones with like fun sex scenes and like all
that that are like memorable.
The demon sex chair.
That was fun.
They didn't do anything in it, but it was just a really funny scene.
So well, yeah, that that's mine.
Onward Chauncey.
My last read of April, because I'm still in April at this.
I know.
I feel like I probably am too.
Relatable.
It's fine.
It's the last one is hitch to the gunslinger.
Oh, yeah, you like that one.
Michelle McClain.
I did.
I wasn't like an absolute favorite, but I don't read a ton of Westerns.
Again, because like old Westerns, unless it's written by like Beverly Jenkins or someone
I don't I don't trust an old Western written by a white lady.
However, it was written like a couple of years ago, so.
I'm ready.
She has some other ones.
She has a lot of Westerns that I want to read.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
There was something so fun.
I was trying to find like movies with the same like but not a Western.
Yeah.
With like just a bunch of men shooting guns.
I want a romance movie that's set in the Old West.
It's when it's in Back to the Future when they have to go back to the Old West and Doc
has this cute little romance.
I don't want to watch.
You have to.
It's not it's not even the first one.
It's like two maybe.
No, that's the future.
I think it's the third one.
So you have to watch Back to the Future three.
Okay, I'm not going to do that.
I did, however, read Hitch to the Gunslinger and I have the audiobook for the next one,
so I will be reading that.
Oh, that's the one that I read first and I liked that one out of the two.
I think there's something so fun about the silly little Old West setting.
Yeah, you got the saloon, you got all the townspeople and they're oh the sheriff left.
So here you can be the sheriff.
You know how to shoot a gun.
He has the stupid horse that I almost included in the horse post round up just because I
think she's so funny.
We're like she just goes to sleep and everyone is like, yes, we know he's not going anywhere
because his horse is taking a nap.
She reminded me of my horse, frankly, the last time I rode her, which was years ago.
Lucy's so bad.
She's so lazy and she loves food.
The last time I rode her, she we like walked around for a little while, you know, warming
up and then moved into a trot, whatever.
And I was trying to get her to canter.
And she went to the middle of the paddock, came to a full stop.
I did not ask her to stop.
I was trying to get her to go faster, in fact, but she ignored me, came to a full stop, wouldn't
move.
I was doing the things you do to get a horse to move.
She wasn't moving.
I got off of her.
She would walk then.
So I led her back to the barn.
I got a riding crop, got back on the horse, tried to get her to keep going.
She once again came to the center and then came to a full stop.
I was at this point whacking her with the riding crop, which I should be clear if you
don't like if you aren't around horses, this isn't like a thing that hurts her really.
She's got a thick skin.
I could hit her with that as hard as I can, and she barely feels it.
So like, just to be clear, it's not like I'm whipping the horse, but I am hitting her with
a stick, which is supposed to be like, hey, let's go.
She's not even flinching.
She's not moving.
There is no forward motion.
Eventually I gave up and got off of her and then she would move.
She would move if I was off of her and walking her back to the stable.
I respect her grind.
And that was the energy of Bertie, his horse.
I just had a good time.
That's all.
There wasn't anything really like moving or stand out about it.
It just was a good time.
Yeah, that's how number two is.
I predict you'll like number one more because we're opposite.
And I had the opposite, but I liked them both.
Number two is really fun.
I had read, I think I read the arc of it and then the audiobook I reread.
And it was just, there's something about just like the recently written like westerns that
just feel like very modern, but with cowboy hats.
It's just very silly.
It is.
Yeah.
I read the prospectors only prospect.
This isn't like a recommendation per se because I do think the third act ruined it completely.
But for the rest of the book, it was five stars and it was very fun.
And it was like a western.
The third act, honestly, I would commit a crime if I was feeling that rage again.
But I'm more unhinged in that department than you are, so you may enjoy it.
Just putting that out there.
I'll see when the audiobook comes out.
Yeah.
I think it comes out in May sometime.
So yeah.
Well, the writing was really good.
I did read another western, Marrying Off Morgan McBride.
Ah, yes, you're blailed.
Which I suppose I shouldn't say too much about because I assume we're going to do.
Yeah.
I think we're about on the same page.
I didn't like it as much as McBride.
I just, the kit was like forced proximity over weeks.
And this one was like they only really knew each other for like a couple of days.
Morgan could be whacked with a stick a little bit, I think.
Yeah, I still love him.
Yes, it was.
It still had like the cozy like.
Morgan could be whacked with a stick.
I could take a writing drop to Morgan and not in a hot, dumb way.
Or also Lillian Bowman.
And that's true, except that was, that was Chekhov Saddlestrap.
Yeah, that was.
At least in a rogue, non-specialtion.
So you'd reenact it.
She does actually use the saddle.
She does.
Oh god, that's another book.
We'll get there.
Yeah, I think I looked at your review and I agreed with pretty much everything you said.
And I think we're about on the same page.
But Amy Berry's writing is so funny.
And there was sex.
And there was sex, which was a surprise.
It was just really charming.
Junebug, I think it was a little bit too much of, but I love Junebug, so I wasn't even that
mad about it.
It lost the plot a little bit when she went back to that.
When she had to go in that town.
Yeah.
I agree.
I was like, what are we doing?
But the rest was great.
Yeah, I would agree with that.
So, I mean, I like the vibes.
I like the quirky rom-com western vibes.
I have the audiobook to reread before we do our episode, whenever that maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah, so the vibes killed it.
I still like Kit McBride better as do you, but I had a good time.
So those were my...
It scratches a different itch, I think.
I think they both do a little bit different things.
It does.
Cool.
Well, I think I read this one in...
Let me see.
This one was still April.
Good for me.
This is my last April one.
Ruby Ramos's Recipe for Success.
Just a very standard, like sweet YA.
There's like a cooking competition, which was really fun.
I read a few other ones with cooking competitions, and I enjoyed those elements of this one a
lot.
And I love YA high school ones because they are so focused on getting into college, and
I've already done college.
So I can sit there and be like, ha, ha, ha.
I don't have to do that.
And good luck to you.
Gives me some sense of inner peace.
I don't know.
I do think there's a wild thing in YA's now where every book is about getting into like
an Ivy League school, which I'm just like, that seems like a lot of stress, more stress
than I went through.
And also, I feel like if you were a young adult reading these YA books, and all of these
kids are just going into Ivy League, I think that's like, I think if I was a YA person,
a YA, if I was a young adult, a YA person, if I was a YA, I'd be like, the youths, I'd
be like, but why not the state school?
There are a few exceptions to that.
And I think this one like made up an Ivy League for the heroine, because they had like real
ones.
I don't think it's a real college, if it is, sorry to the people who go there.
But it still was really fun.
And the romance was like way down on the ladder of like things that were being dealt with.
So it's not even really like a YA romance.
The guy's on the cover, but it's like a very like pretty low angst, like sweet, he's a
surfer and they meet and he tutors her in math.
But like just her in general, I liked her a lot.
The narrator was great.
And again, the cooking was just pretty soothing.
And I definitely bought some desserts to feast on.
So yeah.
May reads.
It's all historical romance for me.
I read to Swoon and to Spar by Martha Waters.
None of the following books have reached the pinnacle that is the first book in that series.
They just can't quite get there for me.
But this one, I think, got the closest of them so far.
It has that like really.
I think the later two have been a little bit too serious.
Like they're still silly and fun, but they just aren't there like a sheer ridiculousness
of the first one.
This one reached that, I think, into that level with the premise of Penvale has been
trying to get his like they had to sell off everything that wasn't entailed or whatever.
And so this his childhood like country estate, they had to sell off to this really awful
uncle.
Oh, uncle's.
And he's not really in it.
He's really just there because he lives there.
And he hasn't he refuses to sell it back.
And so Penvale's been like gambling and getting money and trying to make money to buy this
estate back.
If I was in a romance novel, I wouldn't be the heroine.
I'd be the person who's there because she lives there.
That would be my role.
I wouldn't be made at all.
Relatable.
Well, he has this ward and he's again kind of a terrible person.
He's not like evil.
He's just like not a very good guy.
And he wants the ward off his hands.
So he basically is like, I will sell you the estate for this amount of money if you marry
my ward.
Oh, and Penvale's like, you know what?
Bet I'm not going to force her to marry me.
We have to like meet and make sure that it's OK.
But noted, the ward, she's like very shy.
I really like her, actually.
She comes off as very mean to other characters.
Is she the heroine?
Yeah.
What did I say?
OK.
Well, you said the ward.
I didn't know it was like.
Yes, that's the heroine.
OK, cool.
I mean, she's like 18, 20 something in there.
I enjoy a shy heroine who comes off as mean because relatable.
But she's just like very awkward and she wants to continue like living alone at this estate
and not deal with it.
So she agrees to marry him.
But her plan, the reason the uncle is selling the estate in the first place is because she
wanted to get him out of there.
So she and the servants ganged up and haunted it and made him think there was a ghost.
Like they put like a bloody child's christening gown in his bed and then made it vanish like
all these things.
But she went too far and now he wants to sell it.
So she's like, this time I'm going to marry this guy and we're going to haunt him just
enough that he moves back to London and leaves me here to live in the house.
So the the premise of the book is her and the servants haunting this gothic estate to
try to scare him out of it.
But also they're like kind of into each other.
And it was it was very silly.
It wasn't as silly as the first one, but I did like the haunting aspect.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
It was a good time.
It was very silly and fun.
That's it.
That sounds that sounds like the dose of medicine I need.
Another reread because I've had terrible luck.
I'm looking at all the ones I didn't like and I'm like, wow, you're a hater.
The counterfeit scoundrel by Lorraine Heath.
That one I read last year.
Still, I think four stars.
Not my favorite Lorraine Heath.
But I mean, not my favorite Lorraine Heath is still like our Lisa Kleifus scale of like
not the best Lisa Kleifus is still a really good book.
Yeah.
This one was just fun.
He would pretend to be a scoundrel to break up marriages.
Basically, he had a friend back in the day who had like a I think a servant or someone
who needed to get out of a marriage.
So he pretended to like cheat with her so that the wife could get divorced.
And then he just kept doing it because she kind of like spread that around that he was
like a good guy to help.
So then he just kept getting these women being like, hey, can you pretend to do this so that
we can sue for divorce?
And then he's been sued several times and all of that.
And so he is fine with his reputation being really shitty.
Daisy is a private eye, kind of like a private investigator basically for this guy who thinks
that his wife is cheating on him.
And so she's like now in his household, the hero's household.
And he knows pretty quickly that she doesn't really seem like a servant.
But then there's the whole kind of shenanigans of her being in the servant and him kind of
knowing something he's kind of trying to like trip her up.
There's like a very cute side romance that would kind of get into like spoilery territory.
So I won't really mention it.
But that was fun.
Chocolate's involved.
She like pours some chocolate on his head, which was great.
And then he pours chocolate on her in a sexual way.
Yeah, it was it was a fun book.
Relatively low angst, I think.
The ending maybe like I can't really remember what the third act was.
I think it maybe was a bit like what but as a whole, very solid book.
And the audiobook was good as well.
I only got a couple more actually.
Same.
This one interesting, because I know you don't like it.
And I know it's a controversial one that a lot of people didn't like.
I'm trying to remember.
It's not a favorite, but I did have a good time.
The Princess Stakes, Amelie Howard.
Oh, I was really trying to remember.
I was like, what book did I remember?
I saw that.
Yes, because we're opposite.
So you you liked that one.
You didn't like the blue one.
I like the blue one.
Yeah, it wasn't as good as the third one.
I didn't like love it, but I do think surrounding is a really fun character.
I really like the heroine.
I love them on the boat.
That was fun.
Yeah, I honestly I have forgotten the plot already.
I just remember the boat.
I'm turning into you.
So I can't give you a ton of information.
This is great.
I mean, terrible, but great.
I just liked the vibes.
I had a good time.
She was a fun heroine.
I don't remember much about the hero.
He was a dick initially, and that did kind of rub me the wrong way, but he like recovered
enough that I was like fine.
And that is really all I remember.
I remember that and that she has sick knives strapped to her legs that she like would not
bro sick knives.
And also somebody was like sent a killer.
That's news to me.
Yeah, I just really remember.
He was fleeing and somebody came to kill her.
Yeah, yeah.
So she's she was like being forced to marry this really shitty guy that the overarching
plot is what really got me down that book because she was of like royalty, right?
Right.
And the her father was killed because of her.
Her cousin killed her father.
Yeah.
And so then she was being made to marry this like old crusty asshole.
That was pre her mother's death, though.
Yep.
And so then she thought that she could just escape.
So she gets on the ship, I think.
And then he's the he was all they so they had like a child like they were in love once,
right?
Yeah.
It was like a little fling and yeah, but then it didn't people told them each thing.
So then they had to go separate ways, which I wasn't a huge fan of, and then she's on
his boat and then he's pissed off at her.
So then he makes her like wash the boat and do all this.
And then she has like blistered hands.
He's like, oh, my gosh, his blistered hands, all that.
And that's that's all I remember.
That's like the majority of it.
They get to they agree to a fake engagement when they get to England so that originally
he wants to marry her and she won't do it.
So he's like, fine, we can just pretend to be engaged because it'll get his mom off
his back and also protect her.
So they go through with this like fake engagement thing.
And then the ex the other fiance and somebody who's somebody else.
There was like politics that I didn't fully follow and I just didn't care enough.
And it honestly did not impact my reading experience because I was really just there
for the vibes.
So controversially, I thought the vibes were a good time.
And that's that's all I have to say.
Cool.
Looking at my next one.
Hey, hey, hey, loathe entirely.
All right, Grinch.
I am the Grinch.
I'm great G inch or whatever.
We are in our inch.
I wouldn't I wouldn't say that.
I wouldn't.
I probably don't need to be.
You know, if you're looking for a wild time listeners.
That it's actually my memoir.
So I said to say we talked about it in our Lord of Scoundrels episode.
Yeah.
And then I sent it to her afterward.
Grinch and Guile, the second person erotic Grinch because it's my memoir.
So I if it's your memoir, are you the narrator?
I'm both.
Yeah.
So again, another reread.
Four weeks of scandal by Megan Frampton.
If you've ever seen the movie Funny Farm with Chevy Chase, basically in that movie, they
are like a newly married couple.
They're very cute and very happy.
They move to a small town.
They get a nice deal on a very cute house.
And then immediately it turns into like a money pit.
The mailman is terrible.
The townspeople are weird.
Everyone hates them.
There's like a dead body in the yard.
It's like a terrible house to own.
They were duped.
But so the like halfway through the movie, they basically are getting like going to get
divorced.
They are in dire straits because they're so unhappy and they're trying to sell this house
now.
And they're like, how do we sell this house?
It's terrible with a dead body in the yard and with like terrible neighbors and a terrible
town and a terrible mailman.
And so they pay everyone in the town to like be good.
So they can like sell this fake like Christmas idyllic town.
It's a cute movie.
It's fun.
It's like 80s, I think.
So similar vibes, not similar plot.
Basically these two, their fathers were big into gambling.
They gambled with each other all the time.
It was like a rivalry.
And in the past, her father had like gambled her off to his father because he wanted her
to marry him.
Like the heroine to marry his younger son, the hero.
In the first book of the series, that's the older sister, I think.
And then she like wins the sister back in a game of cards.
The hero in that book was a duke.
He loses his title, goes to work at her bar that she owns and it's a whole thing.
In this book, the younger sister striking out, they inherit this house from her father
who has recently died.
And she gets there and there is a very naked man in her pond, which is not a euphemism.
It is the truth.
And she has a dog, a big dog, I believe named Mouse.
No, Mouse is the Christina Britton.
It's just a big dog.
And then he has a little dog and he like is out of the pond now and he's naked.
And she's like, whoa, you're pretty.
But also, why are you here?
And he's like, this is my house.
And she's like, no, this is my house.
And then it's like they have to find they have to search this old house and find the
deed to see like who actually owns it because their fathers were like so known to pass the
house between them.
And in the like process, they have to pretend to be engaged because the people like they
are going to be living together.
They have nowhere else to go.
And so they have to like make it look like it's kind of acceptable.
And then they have the hair like a maid and the hair cook and the cook's really bad.
And the maid is like what?
And it's just like the dynamics was like an old Joe, I think, who just like moves in because
he's old and his name is Joe.
And he's I would die for old Joe.
It was just a really fun book.
It was funny.
Old Joe because he's old and his name is Joe.
Old Joe made me weep.
He was such a cute.
He is such a cute old man.
And so like they just keep like inheriting like townspeople who live in their house.
And then it's just very low angst, not much like happened.
It's just a really fun book.
And I actually get this, I listened to the audiobook knowing that it was just in air
narrating and I had actually because I had started reading the physical book back when
I first read it.
And then I needed the audiobook.
And then I was like, oh, my God, it's just in air.
And it was fine.
Like I felt already was liking the book.
Like she's honestly she's grown on me because Rosalind Landau has like really taken that
crown.
And so I thought the audiobook was really fun, too, and would recommend that as well.
So and also just watch Funny Farm.
It's a great movie.
There's some like taxidermied animals that get stories made out of them.
It's good.
Weird but good.
Or Money Pit with Tom Hanks.
I mean, that's another good one.
I don't know.
So I will take your word for it.
Last one.
Wild card.
It was a wild card for me as well, because I didn't know what to expect.
No, it was a wild card because I did not.
It came out.
It would have been five, but there were a couple of things that just didn't quite work.
And so I ended up being four.
But it was one of those were like the vibes were five stars, you know, shocked.
It's called a London season.
It's by Joan Wolf.
It's from.
Hold on.
I'll find the year because it's an old school one that I fully I was looking for like childhood
friends to lovers.
And it also coincidentally worked into my horse girl post from 1981.
Oh, wow.
I don't know how to explain like the vibes were so good.
It was unlike I feel like any other historical.
Okay.
So it's a childhood friends to lovers situation.
They're both horse mad.
She that's just important.
It's important to the plot.
She at age six is basically obsessed with riding her pony and nothing else.
Her parents die.
This doesn't really affect her because it was one of those situations where like they
she like saw them once a day and they didn't really bother like raise her much.
So when they die and she's six, she's basically just like, do I get to know living here?
They died.
Yeah, she's fully.
Also, it's a she's like a really interesting like kind of pre possessed like young person
like every interaction that adults have with her.
I thought you meant like pre possessed by a demon.
That's just possessed.
It's like, well, yeah, I was like, she's getting ready to be possessed.
No, she's just like very I don't know how to describe.
She's like very precocious and independent.
I am.
Yeah.
So like every adult that interacts with her is like charmed, but also so like finds it
so jarring because they're like, who is this little person who is completely indifferent
to me?
Anyway, she basically is like, do I just like do I get to keep living here?
I think they're in Ireland because I think she's Irish.
She's like, do I get to keep living here?
No, the air is moving in.
No.
So they send her and her nanny or wherever, whatever she is to go live with her uncle
who is now her guardian.
Who is like a young he's like 20 something.
He's a fun character.
He just like inherits this six year old girl and is like, she's really into horses.
She seems cool.
He also is really into horses.
He's got all the stable and all these horses and stuff.
So he's into that.
And he kind of just let her do whatever she wants.
Also obsessed with horses is seven year old to her six, David, who is like a local kid
who like comes and works in the stables and stuff.
And they get Jane two ponies and they said, well, he can like ride with her and like show
her around.
And so then from that point over that forward, that's basically David's pony.
And they ride together all the time and they hang out and they like literally spend all
their time together and their best friends.
And the interesting thing about this book is that it's like childhood friends to lovers.
But it's not you don't get like a prologue where their kids and then the rest of the
book is their adults or like they just get flashback.
Huh?
It's are they like you don't get a prologue where their kids.
So like no, you get.
It literally follows them from childhood.
Kids a lot.
Oh, yeah.
But I mean, it doesn't it's like they're not like six and seven the whole time.
Yeah, it spends time with them and like every stage of their life.
Oh, yeah, because they're only they're like 17 and 18 at the end of the book when they
really end up together.
Yeah.
So they you like really follow them through their lives and going through like David like
has an affair with an older woman and Jane is an affair.
They're not together at that point.
Yeah.
But like so he's doing that.
He becomes he's like very gifted with horses and he becomes the trainer at a super young
age and it's like wild because this kid is a trainer, but he's like super gifted with
horses.
Jane is also obsessed with horses.
They and the plot is them taking her to London.
Her uncle ends up getting married and so the wife is involved and they they're trying to
like get her to marry.
But she's like literally not concerned with marriage at all and just as obsessed with
David and David is in love with her, obviously.
And there's like a very charming, handsome man who like everyone is in love with.
They're confused why she's putting off saying yes to his proposal and then somebody starts
trying to kill David.
Also that's in there.
I don't know how to explain.
It's just like so funny and charming, especially when they're kids.
It was just so much fun.
The audiobook was pretty good, too.
So there's an audio book.
Yeah.
I listened on scribbed horses, horses, horses, horses.
It was a lot about horses.
It wasn't crazy, though.
It was mostly them loving horses.
It wasn't.
I don't know.
It was just such a good time.
I was so shocked because I was like, OK, this is a random book from 1981 that I'm going
to read because I was looking for.
Where did you find it?
Like why?
I quite literally Googled childhood friends to lovers historical romance and found like
a Goodreads list.
And it was on there and it had a really short description that was just like nobody can
figure out why Lady Jane Fitzmorris is like not marrying this hot, handsome guy and instead
just wants to hang out with the horse trainer.
And I was like, a horse trainer?
Childhood friends to lovers?
Intriguing.
I don't know.
It was just such a good time.
I love that for you.
Yeah.
It was so, so, so random.
That's it.
That's my last one.
I just that book came out of nowhere.
And now I'm like, why is this one of my new favorite books?
That might be a stretch, but it was a good time.
Let me backtrack.
It was only four stars.
I don't know.
I feel like it's going to stick with me.
Maybe you'll reread it and then it'll be five stars.
And you'll actually be me then.
There were a couple of things that I don't think we're going to change.
That's okay.
Another one bites the dust.
That's fine.
I still had a great time.
Cool.
Well, on to my last one.
If Goodreads decides to load, which it's not going to.
Oh yeah, it did.
I read book three in the Byronic Book Club series by Amy Rose Bennett.
I've read all of the books in that series and I've loved them all.
Well, this one is my least favorite.
So like loved maybe is a stretch, but like I really liked it.
I enjoyed it.
And it's called Tall Duke and Scandalous.
It's the green one.
There have been a lot of green ones and I've read them all.
The Megan Frampton, the Lorraine Heath and this one.
And this is the only one I'm talking about in this episode.
So do with that what you will.
And I just really love her writing.
I think it's really fun.
The first one really stuck with me.
The humor in it really was just like my kind.
And so this one basically, she is just a girl on a mission and that's to get money because
she's being blackmailed.
Yeah, she's being blackmailed.
Her mother's a gambler.
Yeah, her mother has like put up the family bookshop as collateral for this loan or this
gambling debt.
The family bookshop.
I know the family bookshop with a really cute old like grandfather.
He's adorable.
Yeah, so the mother sucks, but grandfather's great.
And so she really just needs money and she gets left behind at this ball because her
step sister and her mother leave because the mother has a headache and the step sister's
not bad.
It's not like a wicked thing, but she's like having her coming out season and Jane is like
on the shelf because she was in a carriage or a dog cart, whatever that is, a dog cart.
Wow.
Dog cart accident in her past with the man that she was going to marry.
He crashed the dog cart.
She got a wicked scar on her face.
He jilted her because he was an asshole.
Wicked scar, bro.
You just did that symbol for a long time before you said anything.
I think I want to interrupt you in the middle of a...
I thought you were just going to keep doing that.
Oh, nice.
And so she's just like she has no illusions of love.
Like she knows men suck and people look at her scar and so she's used to just kind of
being left on the shelf.
So she's having to walk home and she's hoping she can like find a like hail hackney cab.
And then she stumbles upon the Duke of Roxbury's house and she can tell there are a lot of
people going in and out.
So she goes inside and just basically orgies are happening.
You're going to variety of orgies.
When you said that, you said just basically orgies and I thought you were using it as
a verb.
Like she goes in under orgies.
And I was like, I've never heard that used as a verb.
Is she just orgies all over?
No.
There are just orgies going on.
There's like tapas piano and tapas dance.
There's a lot of shit happening.
And so she steals away into the library because she's like, wow, that's not my scene.
She finds like rare and first edition books and she's like, wow, what if I stole this
and sold it because I know the value of books because my grandfather owns a bookstore and
paid off my mother's debts and hopefully pay off my blackmailer.
And she's in the process of tying it to her leg when obviously because you know he's going
to be there.
Christopher Marsden, the Duke of Roxbury is like, hi, nice leg.
Give me back my book.
You're fascinating.
He's been a great sport about this.
He's being robbed, but he's also into it.
Hi, nice leg.
Give me back my book.
You're fascinating.
Honestly the vibes like he's just like really into her.
He's like staring at her.
She's like, why is he staring at me?
Is it my scar?
That's kind of rude.
But he's just like really studying her face.
He's like just very like captured by her spell.
And so he's like, how about you come back tomorrow and we'll settle this because you're
a dirty little thief, but also I'm fascinated.
And so she's like, fine, just please don't like send me to jail.
Dirty little thief.
So she comes back the next day.
I love that song.
Okay.
As opposed to Elton John's Dirty Little Girl, which is wildly different vibes.
Not in a hot way either.
He's like somebody give you a bath.
You should look it up.
I can't explain it.
Everybody, if you're listening, pause, go listen to Dirty Little Girl by Elton John.
Experience that.
Be like, these are weird vibes and then come back.
Okay.
Are you back?
Have you listened to the song?
What did you think?
Did you think from the title it would be about one thing and then you got something else?
Which is vaguely violent against women.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I mean, I love Elton John, but that song didn't give me what I wanted when I saw the title.
This is a saga.
He's like someone grabbed that bitch by the ear and you're like, whoa, what did she do?
She's a dirty little girl.
Anyway.
Our dirty little thief enters the chat again and comes to his establishment, which is his
home.
I don't know why I said establishment.
And he's like, so here's the situation.
I am assuming you need money.
Here's the sitch.
I'm Kim Possible.
I'm assuming you need money and I need you.
And so how about we get married?
And the reason he needs her is because murder attempts have been happening against him,
of course.
And one of them unseated him from his horse.
The bullet grazed his head.
And ever since then, he's had facial blindness, which I've heard of before, but this is the
first time I've read about it.
So he doesn't recognize his own face.
He doesn't recognize anyone's faces.
So he will see their face and then immediately when he turns away, they could be a stranger.
So no one in his house, he doesn't recognize anyone.
He knows the gate or whatever, different clues for people.
So he knows his valet and stuff.
And the valet knows, but he's one of the only ones, maybe a lawyer or something.
Because if anyone finds out, he could be removed from his seat and his title because people
would just throw him in an asylum.
And so he doesn't want anyone to know.
And so social functions are really hard.
So he's made himself look like this rake and this libertine because he can just be very
cool and aloof and pretend he doesn't care about people when he just doesn't recognize
them.
So he needs a wife because she could help him in social settings, but also she could
be on the lookout for the people who are trying to murder him because he knows that the same
type of man is coming after him, but he can't point him out in a crowd because he doesn't
know what he looks like, which is very fascinating.
I was like, oh my God, it was just a very, this is what I was alluding to when we were
talking about the artfully yours.
Yeah, that's what it's called.
And so it was just a very interesting premise.
And I respected Jane so much for being like, yeah, I'm going to secure the bag and this
incredibly hot Duke.
And again, Christopher Marsden is like a hot name, the Duke of Roxbury.
Honestly, all the stars.
It's not an art, like it's not Rydstrom, it's not Reese, it's not Rafe.
Like he made do.
It was a fun book.
Again, not my favorite in the series, but like her writing is really fun.
And it pulled me a little bit out of the slump.
I wasn't fully on the shore, but I wasn't like underwater at that point.
So and that one comes out in August 8th.
Wow.
I forgot that's an arc.
So yeah, it gave me a very detailed summary of that arc.
So sorry, but it happened because I have nothing else to give you.
That is like one of the only new books that I've read that I have enjoyed.
Yeah, it was read now in NetGalley.
I don't know if it still is, but go request it if you're curious.
And with that, our TBR doomsday comes to an end.
I mean, we still managed to talk for like two hours.
Yeah.
So go us.
Is that something to applaud?
Endlessly fascinated on our abilities of speaking.
Our abilities of speaking are ceaseless.
That probably makes more sense than ceaseless.
What are words?
Didn't make sense in that context.
It's fine.
I mean, neither did speech with speech.
That's true.
So that's a valid point.
I led you astray.
Yeah, like the Pied Piper.
Just piping away.
All I think of is Shrek.
Is it like Shrek 4?
The Pied Piper, I think.
And Rumpled Still Skin.
I don't know, I haven't seen that one.
And then the Pied Piper is just like, and then everyone's like, yeah, that's a weird
movie.
I saw a TikTok, another one earlier today, of a guy reviewing Target's Gay Pride line
is out, which of course is a mixed bag.
To say the least, he was reviewing it and one of the shirts, I must remember it bad.
But admittedly funny.
One of them says better out than in.
And he was like, is that a quote from Gay Icon Shrek?
Better out than in, I always say.
I just lived our gay icon Shrek.
Oh.
Oh, nice.
That's it.
That's all I got.
Yeah.
Well, well, there you have it.
I actually have nothing to add on to that.
Yeah.
And now I'm going to go listen to the soundtrack of Shrek the musical.
Oh, God.
Lowkey, there's some bangers.
I've never watched it.
The costume scared me too much.
That's valid.
That's so fair.
I don't love it as a whole, but some of the songs, they do be banging.
They do be banging.
They do.
I'm going to make that the title.
They do be banging.
You know who else do be banging?
This isn't a book that I recommend.
But I did read The Taken by the Earl by Carol Mortimer.
It is an erotic historical novella.
The only reason I read it is because I read on the internet that they bang on a horse.
And I said, that sounds awful.
Let me read it.
It wasn't good.
The plot was lowkey kind of fun.
The premise is that she overhears two people having really awful sex, like the man is being
really horrible to the woman and abusing her and such.
But it's because he agreed to kill someone for her, and that's her payment.
And then she finds out that he's going to kill this Earl who just inherited at this
very scandalous house party.
So she goes to said scandalous house party where she orgies.
And I'm just kidding.
She doesn't orgy, but it's scandalous.
What a great use of that word.
And she waits in his bedroom.
And he had seen her arriving and was like, oh, she's hot.
I would like to fuck her.
And then surprise of surprises, she's in his bedroom.
And he, without letting her get a word in edgewise, first makes her come solely by sucking
on her tits.
So there's that.
And then she's like, wait, I'm not here to have an affair with you.
I'm here to tell you someone's trying to kill you.
And he doesn't really believe her.
But then he does later.
And they just like continue an affair for not really an affair, an intimate relationship
for some reason, while also trying to figure out who is trying to kill him.
And she goes to stay with him in Scotland for a while.
So it was kind of entertaining figuring out who was trying to kill him.
I can't say that I really enjoyed the rest of it.
There were some like linguistic, like sex words used that I really didn't like and just
like linguistic sex words.
Well, that was more like I changed direction on the sentence in the middle of it.
But whatever I like, I like linguistic sex words.
It gives it gives me what I need to know.
I didn't love it.
Notably, however, the rumors are true.
They did bang on the horse.
It was kind of him trying to like punish her because he thought she wanted to leave.
And so he was like, you'll never forget me.
We're going riding.
No bloomers for you.
And she's like, that sounds uncomfortable for me.
And he was like, I'll be riding Dante and you'll be riding me.
So they quite literally like she he is inside her while they are riding the horse and she
comes repeatedly.
And then they run into his like steward and his new wife.
And she has to like try to have a conversation and then she passes out.
So why did I tell you this?
What was the impetus?
They do be banging.
They do be banging on a horse.
So poor one out for Dante, that poor, poor horse.
Wow.
That premise sounds so fun.
Sad that the book didn't live up to it.
Yeah, I mean, it might work for some people.
Um, novellas, especially erotic novellas are hard for me because I'm like, yeah, you didn't
have one conversation this entire time.
You just had a lot of sex.
And now you're in love?
Question mark.
But like I said, it could work for some people.
I wouldn't recommend it to you just solely because she is a huge fan of the word nubbin.
Oh, that's the linguistic sex.
That's one of them.
Nubbin.
Nubbin comes up a lot.
Yeah, that word I'll never understand.
I don't know what to tell you.
There's a fun spanking scene.
That's there.
I think they they like bang it out in the stable at one point.
You know, it's a time.
It's a time to be alive.
I read it.
I said, well, I sure did read that.
And sometimes that's what happens when you read a book.
Sometimes you finish the book and you just go, I sure did read that.
Where's the lie?
Can't be found.
It's John Cena.
I'm looking.
I'm searching.
I'm looking on the horizon, looking for the lie and I'm not finding it.
Well there you have it.
All right.
We should wrap this up.
So consider it wrapped.
Like safe sex.
Why?
What?
I don't know.
Consider it wrapped sounds like something you would do with a condom that you have to
tie with a string.
I have a vivid I hesitate to call it a core memory, but it is it is like a vivid memory
from my childhood that is pretty clear.
I mean, childhood, like sixth grade, not like childhood, childhood, but, you know, middle
school light childhood.
There is a restaurant, you know, like I think it's like a chain kind of does like text mix,
whatever.
Not far from here.
It's called Willie's and we would go occasionally because they would do like school fundraiser
nights where like a certain amount of it would go to the school, whatever.
And I have a clear memory of going with a couple of my friends and we were standing
outside and I was like, Willie's wrap it before you tap it.
And they were so mad at me.
But I think that was so funny of sixth grade me, even though our parents were like five
feet away.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah, was it done?
Yes.
Is it what I think of every time I pass Willie's?
Yes.
Wow.
What were they expecting?
Naming that restaurant that I don't I do agree there is probably some some chuckles
being chuckled.
Speaking of linguistic sex words before we go, I'm going to I think be rereading regarding
the Duke by Grace Calloway because that's a fricking hot book.
Some weird ass sex words.
I got to tell you that, to be honest.
I think like veiny meaty stock or something like that.
That one got me.
But it's amnesia.
Like they get married.
He was like a associate of her father and they get married.
He's like pretty young and then they have like several kids and whatever.
And then he's like not like a terrible person, but he's just like his spark of life has been
fizzling.
He's not really engaged with his family.
And then he gets amnesia.
Someone like knocks him out or something.
And then he like gets delivered to his family and they're like, yeah, you're my husband.
These are your children.
And then it's just like a lovely it's like very hot, but it's also just like a lovely
like him finding out that he was like a really shitty father for a lot of it.
And then like relearning how to be a good parent.
And like because like when he gets the shit knocked out of him, he reverts back to like
what a good parent would do.
So then when he's like, why am I not doing this with his daughter and stuff?
And it's just really good.
And then it's really fucking hot.
But yeah, they do be banging with a big meaty stock.
This thick meaty stock.
Yeah.
That stock.
Yeah.
Grace Calloway does not shy away from the adjectives.
I know it, you know, it it do be banging.
Oh, I'm looking at my review.
It says I want it to be Wednesday every day.
So they must have only had sex on Wednesdays.
I remember you telling me that.
Yeah.
I think it's like great for them.
Queen Charlotte to Zeneb and day energy.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
And then there's like a Lindsay Sands, the English bride in Scotland, I think they can
only have sex on I think it's Wednesdays, maybe it's Sunday.
I don't know.
It's funny.
But yeah, that this has nothing to do with anything that I've read.
But I do think I'm going to reread it because why the hell not at this point in my life?
I've got nothing left to live for besides books that I've already read and loved because
no new books of me.
Maybe you got to reread Lord of Scoundrels again.
Again, I know.
Like, what do I what am I?
What's my path forward?
Like, I just need like if you are listening to this, recommend me the best book I ever
telling you jump into the bonkers old school romances.
I know.
But I tried with the Jews ivory and I just got returned to the library and I'm not sad
about it.
I think it had the potential, but also just not at this moment in my lifetime.
Yeah, I think the hard part for me is like finding the audiobooks for those ones.
You seem to have a great luck.
I just am so bad at just like library cards, scribed, audible and Kobo.
So I know.
Script has come through.
Maybe I should do.
No, I want to do the windflower closer to our pirate day episode.
I don't know.
Well, I do want to read for my lady's heart, but that's again going to have to be physically.
So, yeah, that's my play.
Do be bonkers.
Yeah.
If you're listening, tell me what to read and I'll do it.
I'm your liege.
I mean, I could honestly.
Lisa Klaibus has been staring me in the face, telling me to reread the Ravenells and I really
could do that.
I really could.
You know what?
Nothing left to lose at that point.
It's a good point.
Yeah.
And with that.
Now we actually are wrapped like wheelies.
No more singing.
We've sung too much.
I still have dirty little secrets stuck in my head.
Immediately after finishing this episode, you have to go listen to that song also.
Yeah, do it.