Welcome, throbbing members, to Romance Your TBR.
We accidentally talked for 30 minutes about not the topic,
and so that's a bonus episode coming to you sometime.
Who's to say when?
Your inbox is in that email of yours.
It's actually great though,
because we've got the 30 minutes in energy
that we didn't have at the beginning of that past 30 minutes.
You got a roaring welcome, throbbing members
that you did not get.
You got her fumbling with her cross hook.
No, what is it called?
Cross stitch needle at the beginning of that one.
That's true.
If you want those vibes.
I've forgotten that.
We talked about so much in those 30 minutes.
Yeah, if you want like doctor romances,
kind of, some that we've read and probably also haven't read.
TV show recs.
Yeah, the Artful Dodger,
and an F1 is in that episode.
So it's not an episode, it's a moment in time.
There was some needlework reference.
There was some knitting.
Yeah, the Artful, the Artful.
Dodger?
The Artful Bander.
The Artful Romance Your TBR.
So that happened.
But now it's time.
It is time.
The moment you've all been waiting for.
You're on the edge of your seat.
Maybe you forgot that it was.
Yeah.
Or to quote a TikToker that came up on my feed the other day.
I know you're all on the edge of your clit
waiting to hear about this.
Oh.
I know, isn't that aggressive?
I'm on the edge of my clit.
Well, that's the episode.
I don't think we can top that.
Yeah.
I mean, that really sums up old school school.
I just had so many bad jokes run through my head.
Most of them Orlando Norris related.
So I'm not out of the F1 thing that we were on.
That's okay.
No, I'm gonna let you take this segue.
Ooh.
Bold of you to assume I have a segue.
I'm just gonna state that we are here from Man to TBR.
I am Hannah.
I'm Caroline. She's Caroline.
Teehee.
And we are going to be ranking the 16th.
I'm sorry, I'm just so delirious right now.
I cannot, I'm so unserious.
Continue.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Words.
I'm just thinking back to the way you ended
the last episode when you tried to talk about things
happening and you just said words.
You should go back and listen to it.
It was great.
Okay.
Yeah, I listened to it a few times when I was editing.
It's just like the way you-
Like I was just saying words.
Well, you were like,
I didn't know where the sentence was gonna go.
And it just- Oh, I do vaguely remember that.
And it just went places that no one's traveled before.
Do you never just like start a sentence hoping
that you'll know where it's gonna go by the end?
Yeah.
Yeah, no, never.
We're ranking.
We are ranking.
We're ranking.
We read 16 old school school books officially.
We read a few more just on our own,
but officially there were 16.
We've had epic highs and lows of high school football
and old school school.
And yeah, it was interesting revisiting these to rank them.
Cause I was like, what happened in these ones
that I blacked out from my memory?
So I got to experience that again.
There were definitely some that I like,
I had to kind of stick in the order.
Cause I was like, I don't remember most of this book.
The one, it was helpful because when I get angry,
I go on Goodreads and I like update my reading progress.
And I was angry for like half of these books.
So like my progress was very detailed.
Sometimes I was like, what?
And it didn't give me any context,
but a lot of times I was like, oh yeah,
I remember that feeling.
I remember what was happening there.
And then the ones that I liked, there's like two updates.
She started reading and she finished reading.
And I was like, well, that doesn't help me.
I feel like it's very indicative for me.
If I look at a book and I'm like,
I actually don't remember almost anything about that.
That to me is like a meh, like middle of the road.
It's gonna be somewhere in the middle of the ranking.
Cause clearly I didn't hate it enough
to really remember why I hated it,
but I also didn't love it.
Yeah, that's either, it's either meh
because I didn't hate it enough or I hated it so much
that I made myself forget it.
Yeah, I don't have that issue.
Which I do think happened with the bottom of these for me.
Oh my.
Which is thankful.
I was hoping for that.
So round of applause for me.
Wow.
I manifested that destiny.
Thank you.
Yeah, I mean.
So we have, we're gonna rank them in order.
Do we go, you wanna go top to bottom, bottom to top?
Bottom to top, bottom to top.
Okay, and on a high.
And then we've got a few superlatives.
Not a ton, but just a few,
just to give a little shout out.
The smorgasbord.
Yeah, just for funsies.
So let me pull up my list
because right now I'm looking at a cross stitch pattern.
All right, number 16.
Least favorite.
Oh, and this is literally just based on our personal vibes.
Oh yeah, no, this is no.
Least favorite to favorite.
Yeah.
Nothing intellectual happened in my brain.
Yeah, no, 16, I'm going Texas destiny.
Oh, that's intriguing.
Yeah, there were some rearranging
as I went through this list.
This is the one that ultimately
just like still ticks me off the most.
Number one, cause of the politic.
Like why am I reading Confederate romance right now?
Number one.
That's the main, like I couldn't enjoy myself the entire time
because the whole time I was like,
these are fucking Confederates.
I did forget about that.
Like her family owned slaves
and at no point did she feel bad about that.
She was just like, boo hoo,
we had to sleep in the formerly slave quarters at one point.
And then also she married his fucking brother,
which pisses me off on a craft level, Lorraine.
You let them get married?
And then the hero, you let her get married to your brother?
You don't deserve her.
Nah, nah, I'm out.
That's number 16 for me.
Nice.
I respect that.
That's funny.
That's intriguing.
I mean, the Confederate definitely, that's valid.
Anyway, you think that.
Mine was the flame and the flower
because to quote myself,
I will never read a book that was worse than that.
And that brings me great peace.
I don't remember a lot about the flame and the flower.
Yeah, no, because I hated it so much
that I was doing as much as I could to get through it.
But also I was reading my updates on it
and I was so angry,
but I have a beautiful memory,
whereas I don't remember anything.
So it's great for the things that I don't wanna remember,
like that book.
Let me see how many updates I made,
because there were plenty.
It was a plentiful, it was a bountiful reading time.
I feel like I literally remember nothing
except for the first time they had sex.
Well, that's the end.
Like the worst part about these ones
is their summaries give you nothing.
Yeah.
So like, you can't, like, I'm like, what happens?
Yeah.
Like my review is-
Truly not a goddamn clue.
Yeah, my review is not gonna lie.
This had me wishing the British won the Revolutionary War.
Like that was my review.
Like what?
So he was American is what I'm gathering from that.
And I hate it.
Yeah, I remember that,
because it's part of like a plantation series.
Yeah.
Lusty Adventure, Married to the Sea,
Captain Brandon Birmingham.
Is this the one where he like,
thinks she's like a prostitute or something,
and then like has sex with her?
Yeah, he thinks she's a prostitute,
he has sex with her,
and then she ends up getting forced,
or like he's forced to marry her, so he hates her, right?
I don't know.
I feel, I remember a scene where like her family,
or maybe not her fam,
cause doesn't she,
is this the one where she has a terrible guardian?
Yeah, yeah.
And so I think it's like the man is a very nice old man,
and they like force him to marry her
because she's pregnant, right?
You're asking me a lot of things.
I don't know.
I mean, you're coming up with a good recollection
compared to...
But I only remember the beginning.
I think she's pregnant,
and that's why they force him to marry her,
and he's mad about it,
because I think he wanted to like track her down anyway,
but he doesn't like it
because he's being told to, hashtag relatable.
He was trying to marry someone else,
it looks, from what?
And then he takes her back with him,
and he's like, I'm gonna make your life hell,
like you're not gonna be my wife,
you're gonna be like basically a servant in my house.
But then I don't remember anything past that.
This was our monologuing one, I think.
He does monologue naked in a mirror.
That's that lesson.
He monologued so much.
But that's the extent of the plot that I remember.
And then he paid off her aunt.
So yeah, cause she had that like bad, did you,
I don't know.
What in the world?
Oh my gosh, looking at my reading history of this.
Blackmail, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Somehow it gets worse.
I'd rather deep throw the cactus and finish this book.
Wow, all right.
Well, that's aggressive.
There was a serial killer.
Sure don't remember that.
Was that like the end?
I get this one in Sky O'Malley confused.
I remember a lot more of Sky O'Malley than this one.
Yeah, things happened in this one
and I didn't like it when it was happening to me.
So there's that.
Number 15.
Sky O'Malley.
Mine is Sky O'Malley too.
To no one's surprise.
That book, to quote myself again, I need an exorcism.
Yeah, that didn't number.
Actually, you know what?
I take it back.
I'm flipping my 14 and 15.
It's not Sky O'Malley.
My 15 is the flame and the flower.
I can't help but support.
I had it a little bit higher
cause I literally didn't remember anything from it,
but now I'm like, so we're flipping them.
Yeah, Sky O'Malley at least had a plot
cause the flame and the flower, nothing.
I think that's why I'm struggling to remember
cause nothing, it was just, she was just like,
was at that place and then it just,
I didn't like him.
He was horrible.
So that was a thing.
Sky O'Malley was the incest one, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that stuck with me.
No.
So many things happened.
I thought I saw somewhere that's becoming a TV show.
Well, that I don't know.
Or something, I don't know.
I mean, it was like an epic saga.
That's why it was a little bit high.
Like I bumped it up to 14.
There were elements of it I really enjoyed.
Like I thought it was very interesting.
And I know you don't read the same way I do in that sense
where like, if you don't like it, you don't like it.
But I did correct.
I did find it an interesting book.
I thought it was an interesting read.
There were just so many wild plot point
where I was like, wow.
Like, and now we have amnesia
and we're in like the Middle East question mark.
And she's being like trained as a courtesan.
And I just did not, I didn't care for him at any point.
So like, I didn't really care about her getting back to him.
Like the romance in like that sense,
like the grand sweeping role, it just was not sweeping.
I was unswept.
And I love the cover though.
I was like, that's insane of you.
It was.
I did it in the sense that I was like,
wow, you really committed to giving us all of that.
So much.
Yeah.
Bonus points for the cover though.
Yeah.
Number 14.
Yeah.
So that's, and yours was?
That was 15.
15, I did the flame and the flower.
Flame and the flower, okay.
Yeah.
And then my 14 was Sky O'Malley.
Okay, cool.
So then 14 was yours.
Okay.
So 14, mine was an unwilling bride.
I just hated that man so much.
Nothing much to say more than that.
I was unwilling to.
And I think this one did hurt a little bit more
because I was enjoying like the first little bit of it.
And then I just wasn't because he kept talking
and I didn't enjoy that when it happened.
He was with men, he just kept talking.
Yeah.
Yeah, you read that one a little bit more academically.
I did, I did.
And you enjoyed that one.
I unfortunately would rather not.
Okay.
Number 13.
13, I went prisoner of my desire.
Yeah, okay.
I considered putting it higher, I did.
I think ultimately what ranked it so low for me
was that I have no desire to reread it.
Honestly, I think I could reread it.
I think I just like still have a very visceral,
and we talked about this during the episode,
but the thing that did it for me was not even the like rape
of either character for each, because they switch.
Yeah, it was the like utter humiliation
that he puts her through during and after the rape.
But like it's almost worse after for me,
where like I just get like a sick feeling
in my stomach reading it.
So like, and this was a weird one, we talked about this.
Like I could not put it down.
Yeah, yeah.
But like I get like a little bit sick just thinking
about the things that he did to her in that book.
And again, it wasn't even the rape that really did it.
So like, I just don't want to experience that again.
I'll be intrigued.
And so it's ranking lower for me.
No, that makes sense.
Cause that's not like a personal like,
it could like thing of mine, like the humiliation.
I don't think I have a humiliation kink,
cause that I don't think that exists for me.
The problem is I do.
That's why it's so weird, but it wasn't in like a hot way.
It was in like, it has to be hot for the kink to work.
And it has to come from a place of I actually respect you.
And it didn't, he like actually didn't respect her.
Boy am I excited for you to read Kiss of a Demon King.
I'm just so excited for that to happen for you.
I just think for a humiliation kink to work
in the same way that like any kind of degradation
or like Dom sub, anything to work,
you have to know that it comes from a place
of respect and trust.
Yeah.
Like if you want somebody to call you a dirty little slut,
you don't want them to actually think
that you're a dirty little slut.
Like, yeah, you don't want them to like actually
actively disrespect you.
It's like a role playing exercise.
And he was not role playing.
He was actively making her do horrible things.
And I couldn't, I couldn't.
And then he never even groveled.
There was no resolution there.
It just was like, ah, it's okay.
Now I'm pissed about it all over again.
Anyway.
So this was 13, right?
That's why.
Yes.
Yeah.
Mine was Texas Destiny.
So still at the bottom.
That one hurt really bad because I really,
I really wasn't enjoying the beginning.
Like I loved the vibes.
And then it just went so wrong.
Yep.
And it, like all the points that Caroline said earlier,
they all still stand.
It just, it could have been,
and then I read the series, the whole series,
cause for some reason I thought it wouldn't get worse.
That was the best book in the series.
So yeah, I gave, I think book three, one star.
It was rough.
That whole, it was a rough time.
She has another Western series that I have hopes for,
but who knows.
I've heard good things about that one.
But yeah.
But also I heard good things about Texas Destiny
and look where it got us.
Her marrying his brother.
I just didn't think she'd do it.
So I mean, respect in that point, but like, no.
No.
Number 12.
12.
I did, this was an unwilling bride for me.
I remember almost none of them.
I remember him slapping her.
And I remember,
he treated his mistress better than he treated her
for a lot of the book.
I was like, mister, I don't like you.
Oh, now I'm not sure which book I'm thinking of
where there's like the,
is that the one where they go to the mistress
and there's like the bad guy shows up
and is like trying to shoot?
No, what book am I thinking of?
I don't know.
There's that like heist almost.
Is that Moonstrike Madness?
I think that may be unwilling and un-mourning.
I think it might be an un-mourning bride.
Yeah.
I remember almost none of this,
except that I didn't hate it.
And that I at least was able to have like some
think exercises.
You gave it four stars.
I did?
Yeah.
I feel like the longer I thought about it,
the less I liked it.
It's a big controversial one.
Oh.
Well, maybe I need to revisit that one then,
because the longer I've sat with it, the less I have.
Like, yeah.
Well, I think that's kind of,
that's like,
actually I don't necessarily have an example of this one.
I did give it four stars.
I'm dropping it to three.
That's a win for me, guys.
I've won the small battle against-
But mainly because I,
like it literally didn't, nothing stuck.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like there was- I feel that way.
I give sometimes a lot of like,
if I give a five star and then like,
I'll go back and like read it again,
and maybe it's a four star,
or like I don't remember anything about it.
I'm like, that does not,
we're gonna drop that.
Yeah. For it to be like a higher rating,
I have to remember it at least a bit,
or like at least remember the feeling that I had
while reading it, if not like the plot itself.
And this one, I felt very,
the main thing I remember about it was going and looking,
like reading reviews and articles and things about like,
what Joe Beverly was doing with the hero,
and like the kind of academic, more analytical side.
Like I remember a lot of that,
but I don't remember anything about the plot.
And clearly I didn't really have feelings about the romance.
So- I just remember
I was sitting in a Best Buy parking lot.
I remember you being mad.
And I remember me being like, but wait,
there are things to discuss.
And you did not want to discuss.
No.
Cause you were mad.
I was mad.
And it is what it is.
It is.
So that was my, what was that, 12?
That was 12.
So my 12 was Moonstruck Madness.
That's the one I remember nothing of this book.
How interesting.
I only, after revisiting my reading journey of it,
I remembered that he loved her when she had amnesia
because like he could tolerate her suddenly
because she wasn't actually who she was.
And then I got really angry all over again
because I was like, oh my God, that did happen.
And I have so many issues with him.
I was like, I had a note when I got to 50%,
it was like, this isn't bad, but like, it's just not for me.
And then immediately after that, it all went down.
And then I was like, oh wait, actually, no, I hate it.
And it happened in real time.
Cause I was like, oh, like I was like, this is fine.
Like I'm listening to it.
I have no opinions.
And then I had opinions.
So yeah, that happened.
But we got through it and I'll never read it again.
I do like the cover though, unfortunately for me.
Well, there you go.
Mm-hmm.
And then number 11,
which this is controversial for me
because I rated this one lower
than I rated Moonstruck Madness.
I could probably revisit that rating.
I don't quite know.
Flowers from the Storm.
Because like, I didn't enjoy the book,
but I understand why people enjoy the book.
And like, there were things I liked about it.
It just was like personally like written
for everything that I dislike.
Like it was like my,
my, like if I was a Greek God,
that would be created as my like mythical
like counterpart to take me down.
But like, I respect it because it has part of me in it.
It's like the Titans having those like weird giants.
This is all coming from Percy Jackson, by the way,
that were like the giant form of like the God
or something like the bad Poseidon, the bad.
Yeah.
It's in like the Heroes of Olympus series.
Okay.
I didn't remember them being in Percy Jackson.
That's where you lost.
Oh yeah, yeah, no.
The Heroes of Olympus is all about that.
It's been a hot minute since I've read those.
Mm-hmm.
So that's my giant of a book.
Like I know that he loved her
and that's something that's crucial.
And like she loved him.
Like in a lot of these books that I rated low,
like I just don't feel that way.
Like I'm just like, how did we get there?
At least in Flowers from the Storm,
like I see how that happens.
And I still think about his description to her blind father.
Yeah.
And he said something about someone being cold,
the little girl or something.
She would be cold, the baby.
He was gonna send her away, but then he couldn't do it.
Because what if she was cold and they wouldn't?
Yeah, so I didn't, like I did not hate him.
Like at no point did I hate that man.
And that is not something I can say
about a lot of those books below it.
So at the moment of Passion, I did give it one star.
But it could probably be raised to two
because I did rate it above Moonstrike Madness,
which I gave two stars.
And I think I gave it two stars
because I probably didn't remember it when I finished it.
Which is honestly probably what happened knowing me.
So that's one that I think I could potentially reread
if I just maybe skip the part in the asylum
because I just can't handle that.
Because I know what's coming now.
And I'd want to reread the ending, I think.
Because it was like 18 hours and I was just like done
with everything at that point.
But yeah, so that's 11.
My 11 was Whitney, My Love, which is lower
than I thought I was gonna end up putting it
because I did enjoy the majority of that book.
And I also really liked our episode on it.
I think I just still feel betrayed by the ending.
And because I feel betrayed.
And it's like you said about Texas Destiny
where because it was so good initially,
it hurt more than Clayton became a professional
conclusion jumpist, an Olympic level
conclusion jumpist even.
Yes he did.
It just hurt so bad.
And I was like, after all of this,
after all the things we've been through, Judith,
to quote you, I was Judith McStraught.
Like, or Judith Distraught,
that McStraught didn't make sense.
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
I was not loving it.
It simply, it just, like it was so good.
Yeah.
And the discussions that came out of it,
I thought were really good.
And then just ruined everything.
Like a man does.
Like a man, he was a man.
That's how I felt about Until You,
which is the next one, that's Steven's book.
Because like it was a fantastic book.
Like it was so good, except for him.
And he was a poop nugget.
I hated him so much, but I also loved him
because I knew who he could be.
And like any person who's me, you think you can fix him.
But you couldn't because it just, it hurt so bad.
Because it was so good.
Like the book, like the heroine, she was fantastic.
And then, but Steven, like he just, I hate him so much.
I mean, I just like, you really gave me this book
and you had him like spank her with a writing crop
and not in a hot way.
And I was on board.
Yeah.
Yeah, in the context, I get it.
I'm with you.
I did not, yeah, I didn't.
And then you ruined everything.
And for that, you get a number 11.
Did you start with 11?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, so then my 11, I believe is a no.
No, you're right.
What was your 11?
Did I?
I think I.
What was it?
Flowers from the Storm?
Yeah, so this is number 10.
Okay, then you started.
My 10 is Moonstruck Madness.
Because it's, you know, it's fairly middle of the road.
I really liked a lot about it.
I really liked Laurie McVean's style.
So like I was having a good time,
even when I wasn't having a great time, you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's how I felt in Wooden You Might Love.
When I wasn't having a good time, I was still having a time.
Yeah, because like great writer, I really enjoyed the style.
But kind of meh.
And then didn't love the whole like borderline
incestuous twins, Team Rocket vibes.
Didn't love the implications of like beauty
and like ugliness as punishment vibes.
Didn't love that she was a female highwayman,
but we barely got any highwayman hijinks.
It's all coming back.
Yeah, I don't remember a ton of the plot.
I had forgotten about the amnesia bit until you brought it up,
but I didn't love that either.
So like I forgot she was a highwayman.
Yeah, and that's never a thing you should be able to forget
if a character is a highwayman.
I really did not come up in my memory.
So, yeah, I really liked the style.
I fell short of my expectations, though.
I wanted a lot more from that.
Yeah, it could have been.
Yeah, it could have been a lot better.
That's me with Dreaming of You.
Lisa Gleipas can write.
That's a fact.
I enjoyed the writing.
I enjoyed a good amount, a fair amount of this book,
but it just was not really my thing.
I think in our episode, we were like, if we would have read this
like back when it was published, that would be like a different story
because it would we went to read what we've read now.
But Derek, he's not.
My review was just like girls who don't get it, don't get it.
And that's me. Like, I just don't get the appeal really of him.
I did love him in pain.
I wanted him more in pain.
I wanted him to suffer more, I think.
I really enjoyed when they got to the ball, like the masquerade.
Like, I remember us talking about that, like we really like when she was there.
And then it kind of like they separated.
And then like my the tension kind of dissipated for me a little bit.
And like my steam reading it, I lost interest when that happened.
And like we talked about how it had to happen.
But the structure of it. Yeah. Yeah.
So again, like it was not a bad book.
I don't know that there is a bad Lisa Clevis.
Exactly. Like it.
It's Lisa.
But I don't think I would need to reread it.
But I mean, I could.
Like, again, like it's not like if I was doing, I guess, like a full Lisa,
I wouldn't skip it.
Oh, Lisa, Lisa.
In theaters everywhere.
But yeah, I guess I was just like,
yeah, I guess I was just a little bit let down
just because like that was everyone.
Like everyone talks about Derek Raven.
And I had seen him because I had read Then Came You before that.
And but like years ago.
And so like I knew who Derek was, like from that book, but.
Knowing him from like what people say about him, that they love him,
I was just like, I don't quite get it.
So, yeah. Number 10.
Yeah, that was I'm going to steal the first one because
it was my number nine was dreaming.
And.
For pretty much all of those same, like I just again,
maybe if this had been like my first Lisa Clevis. Exactly.
Like, I can see why it would be a formative book for somebody if this
they were reading it when it came out or it was an early one for them.
But it did not.
I mean, again, it was Lisa.
So there were like a lot of things that I remember we loved.
And honestly, I should probably go back and look at my notes
because I know I took notes for it.
He was a grave robber, right?
That was part of our lesson.
I'm looking at my notes.
There's not a ton of them.
And they are as follows, quote,
he's only rude to people he likes. Relatable King.
I guess a self-made man who has everything but feels nothing.
Not her pretending to be Matilda.
I don't know who Matilda was
calling Tabitha Sarah when he may or may not have had sex with the prostitute.
No, that's Tabitha.
I know, because I have a note in all caps.
This is calling Tabitha Sarah.
Oh.
Who the fuck was Matilda?
Who did she pretend to be?
Was there like a crime thing at the end?
They have to like.
Did was this did she come to the masquerade pretending?
Oh, oh, oh, it's the character.
It's the character she wrote.
That was fun. See the masquerade.
That was a good time.
Well, because everybody's like, oh, what is Matilda up to?
Like, what is she doing the whole time?
And she keeps trying to explain that Matilda is a fictional character.
And so she ends up just pretending to be her at the masquerade.
So then there's the prostitute, which is the whole thing or whatever.
Perry, it's on site.
I do remember that it was on site.
Let's go, Perry.
Perry, can you fight his mother and his mother?
Nothing hits like a man who entirely loses his shit because of a woman.
True. And I stand by that.
However, I needed him to lose it more.
I like that this note is just I honestly feel bad for Joyce.
Who is Joyce? Joyce is the other woman.
Never mind. I remember Joyce.
There was that whole thing.
She kept trying to like get with him.
And he was like, get the fuck out of here. Remember?
No, she kidnaps her at the end.
Oh, Joyce. Joyce.
Because she was sleeping with him, but then she was trying to get her clutches in him.
It was a whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.
You're right. You knew it was going to happen because she was like she hadn't been dealt.
Yeah. So that I also didn't like that.
I was not a huge fan of that.
So like by the end, I was kind of like, I just want to be done.
You're right. Joyce.
The quote, my beautiful, meddlesome little bully.
I said me and who?
True. And I stand by it.
Lisa loves giving us enough time in the final quarter to see them happily married.
Also true. And I respect Lisa for it.
The quote six, 25, no nightgowns, which I have to assume was them ordering clothes
and Sarah saying she needed six of something and him saying, no, you need 25.
And also there will be no nightgowns.
Which I have to say, King.
Like, I respect it.
And my final note is.
Breastfeeding.
I forgot that was in that book.
And for that, I feel like bees except breast.
Be cups.
I feel like I should move it up because of that, but I won't.
I'm going to leave it as the best of the rest, I would say, is dreaming of you.
Because you know what?
Those notes made me giggle.
But I agree with you on the pacing.
Yeah. Like it had the elements.
Like you can see where she did what she did in her other like her later books
because of that book.
And I respect her for doing that.
And like, I'm happy this book exists because I got like Harry
Rolage and Thomas Everett.
So true. My babies.
And I respect because I mean, we know that this was essentially like
the first really self-made hero in historical romance.
And so you got to respect the roots.
I respect the roots, but it's not a favorite.
It is number nine for me. Best of the rest.
For me, that's Prisoner of My Desire.
So not like I did not hate that book.
I like you said, like flew through it, could not stop reading it.
I was surprised at every corner.
Yeah. I was just like, huh?
It did it. It it women lost.
But like, I didn't hate it.
That's so fair.
Like, did I enjoy when he thought his daughter that he didn't know was his
daughter was hot? No.
Did I enjoy?
I won't. It made me laugh.
Did I enjoy when that young lad got skewered?
No.
Skewered? No. Oh, damn.
Like at the beginning. Yeah, he got skewered.
Shishkebobby.
I also was a little bit like.
I'm sorry, women, that I'm happy that this like when she's getting
thrown out of the castle and like has to marry this horrible person
because she was rude to the heroine, but like she deserved it.
And I was like, yes, get her, get her again.
But like, but like, yeah, but like.
That punishment was worse than the actual villain got,
which I am now remembering the villain.
So like, that is the one flaw, because honestly, like, I would reread
90 percent of that book with the caveat that the villain got like beheaded.
Because I hated him.
That's true. I probably always hated him.
That's true. I probably would like it a lot more if he actually.
Yeah, because it just like it was so rude because I was all ready
for like gore and just brutal punishment.
And he just had to bend a knee.
And I just think heads could have rolled.
And they didn't.
Mm hmm. So true.
Not a favorite of mine,
but I do like her writing and I was compelled.
Compells me, though.
I sent you a sense.
It is relevant to this.
I have it on Do Not Disturb.
So good thing you told me.
Yes, I fucking loved everyone, because do you have anything
you want to say to women for having own this offensive opinion?
I'm sorry, women. I made this into my own meme.
Yeah, I got it.
So I got it for magazine. I think about this a lot
because so many of these men should just say I'm sorry, women.
I think I've linked it in a few reviews because like Susan Heffley.
She's a girl's girl. She gets it.
If anyone does know, I fucking love those books.
They make me laugh.
Aboriously. I love them.
We just watched the like the new animated movies.
I love the movies like I am a stan.
Greg Heffley is the worst, but honestly, I would be too.
So he's he I love him and those books.
So, yeah, that was Prisoner number nine.
Number eight for me.
Was Whitney, my love,
because I enjoyed this book a lot.
But again, like you said, the ending,
I just was so like I was so surprised that I was liking it
because I was just so scared of the book because everyone talks about it.
Like spanking. Yeah.
And then when I got there, I was like, oh,
and then when I kept reading, I was like, oh, like, I really enjoy this.
Like we got so much backstory and like of her
like growing up and I was like, why am I enjoying this?
I got just so many words, but I like them.
And then you get over like the mini conclusion jump,
but like conclusion jumpings, and then he just takes a fricking leap of unfaith
and just really rips my heart out.
He does.
Judith McNaught. Yeah.
Is. The foil, if you will,
to Courtney Milan. Oh.
And I say that literally only in reference to the book of hers
that I just read where it doesn't do the same thing as she does in The Duke,
who didn't where she just like sidesteps.
But she at every opportunity
where there could be a miscommunication or there starts to be a miscommunication
and one that doesn't it's not like, oh, yeah, like this feels like
a necessary plot point, but one that you're like, oh, this is going to be
an annoying, like, yes, don't talk about something or someone's going to jump to.
They don't.
Something else happens and a character doesn't respond
the way that you think they're going to respond.
Or like there was one where she started to get upset
and then like logic her way out of it and was like, I should wait to hear an explanation.
It was magical.
And that comes from somebody who doesn't get annoyed by miscommunication
and romance frequently unless it's done the way that Clayton Clayton did it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I think of the Stay, Stay, Stay by Taylor Swift, if I will,
and start to Taylor Swift song ism. You will.
I will. Just about.
Like just staying through the fights and like thinking over and stuff like that.
You're right about Coriolan doing that.
I just love when you can find that in a book because like.
No third act breakup has to be done a specific way to still like keep attention
and like keep me engaged.
And it's so good whenever Coriolan does that
and some other ones that like I've liked that don't have breakups.
Oh, so good. So that was that was eight.
What was your eight?
My eight was the rake.
The rake. Gotcha.
This one, it started out way lower.
Yeah. Oh, really?
Well, just because I didn't remember most of it.
So I was like, I don't know the rake.
And then the more I plugged in other ones, the more it kind of got bumped up.
And then the more I was like, oh, I don't know.
And then the more I was thinking back to I went back to like look at what
the lesson was about him being a creditable sheep washer.
And I was like, oh, I do remember that bit.
It's the West Ravenel like expansion pack.
It's a West Ravenel expansion pack.
You got his whole journey.
Yeah. Where like it's still.
I don't have a ton of notes for this one either.
Except I do want to say that one of the quotes was she was acting like a rabbit hedgehog.
Well, now I'm just looking back through these notes and I'm like, wow, this was actually a really fun book.
Yeah, I read it. I did read it higher because I.
I think I stand by where I read it.
I know I do like the ones that I like higher.
I've been called many things in life, but never a sacrificial penguin.
But I do think this is one that I'd like to go back and reread.
Yeah, because I remember really enjoying it.
And having the West Ravenel vibes and the like dealing with alcoholism.
There was also like a part of it in my side, like looked back at my Goodreads journey.
And I again did not have many notes for it.
But I was like, what did I say?
Because I did the thing where I didn't reveal a spoiler because it was Goodreads.
But like now I want I want to be spoiled because I read the book and I don't remember what I was talking about.
Which happens quite frequently, like I there's this one review.
I don't even. Oh, yeah, it was I think like some like thriller mystery book or something.
And I was like, if anyone wants me to tell you the spoiler, like I will just like let me know.
A year later, someone came back and was like, hey, can you tell me?
I was like, no, I can't because I don't remember it is now a plot twist to me.
I felt so bad. I was like, I.
I felt so bad. I was like, I know.
So no to self. Don't be me.
But if you have to go back and look at your Goodreads experience,
I had it's giving Wes Ravenel this is taking a turn.
We all start coming. But also, question mark, question mark, question mark.
That's the point where I was like, what happened?
What was the turn we all saw coming?
It was. Oh, was it her back story?
The reason that she was like off being an estate manager, wasn't it?
Because like some guy called her ugly.
But actually, that wasn't even what happened.
Was it? I know. I think that's the one that slaps a little kid or something.
Oh, I have no memory of that dog. He like kicks a dog.
Oh, well, he's drunk. He kicks the dog that he has adopted.
Yeah, that was really sad.
That it did hurt the dog, too.
Yeah. And then I was thinking if it's a plot twist, because remember,
she's like pretending to be a man, essentially, like not.
Dressing, acting like, but like pretending for the letters.
And she's off being an estate manager and like not get and she hasn't spoken
to her father in years and she like ran away from an engagement.
She's like the the long lost daughter of somebody.
Yeah, I don't think that's like right after it.
Like one percentage later, I was like, this book is so this is me trying coded.
So I think it has something to do with him.
I just can't remember what he did.
I remember the see, that's just that's where my brain goes,
because I remember being like, this was a dumb reason.
You're right. Because like she just didn't.
Yeah, it was.
She was also a bit of a conclusion jump.
And then that guy was actually into her.
Yeah, he just was like a young guy and embarrassed
because she was like tall and a little bit manly.
And he was like, no, she's not. I'm just marrying him for the money.
But he actually liked her.
And you're like, damn.
And now you just haven't spoken to your father in years because of this.
There's a lot.
Anyway, so that was my number eight.
Yeah. Who knows what happened in that book?
He was an alcoholic, but then he wasn't.
Yeah, I remember like a lot, but apparently not the pivotal moments.
So that was a.
I was like, why am I talking about that book?
We both read the same books. We just read them differently.
I was like, how did you have that book?
I see how things have happened.
My number seven.
Do I go out this guy? Yeah, just go.
I had Gawick on this one was hard.
I also had Gawick is seven.
I was like, like the I have four books that were like four stars.
This was one of them.
And so this enters my my green era.
We've gotten to the books that have green lights for me
because I like color coded them.
I did it in that like ranker thing or whatever.
The rest of the best.
Yes, the rest of the best.
So Gawick, I a it was the only one of these books where I wanted to be Caroline.
I want to Caroline it and I want to like study it like academically.
I didn't because I'm lazy.
Yeah, but I could have in a past life.
Like I would I would love I would read paper that I would read.
I would read all the papers on this book.
I'd be very interested.
And I was like, I read like Vince of Vince of your guys like
interviews and stuff.
At no point did I know what was happening and that was OK
because we got there eventually.
Yep.
The ending destroyed me.
I think the reason I rated it seven and not any hires because like
they told us he died.
Honestly, that hurt.
That hurt deep.
And I was just not prepared for that.
I was crying so badly at the end of that book.
I was unwell.
The mystery of mystery, because I did not read the science.
And I was like, who, what, when, where and why?
And boy, did I find out.
Boy, did you.
Boy, did I.
Didn't we all?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't have that much to add.
It was funny.
I like that I remember genuinely cracking up, but also it was like very.
I forgot like the atmosphere was great.
It was so graphic.
I have nothing that I did.
That was just such an interesting read.
My.
I did.
Forget the quote, what a darling spicy cake.
That's my Twitter picture is the Kindle quote.
What a darling spicy cake, because what a great quote.
I think a lot about the everybody grab a cat.
I think about the scene, but specifically the quote a lot.
It was just I did not expect to like it that much.
It was so surprising.
Cool.
What was your number six?
It was the proposition.
Which we read pretty early on until it's one that I kind of forgot about.
And then when I was like, wait, what is this book?
I was like, oh, my God, the proposition.
We had so much fun.
I really liked that one.
Dancing on tables, all the My Fair Lady.
And since then, I have watched half of My Fair Lady.
Oh, my Lord.
We started watching it and I was probably like two thirds.
And then we just had to stop because we went to bed and then we never picked it back up
because it was very loud.
But like, yeah, so I'm a little bit more informed.
Okay.
Well, great My Fair Lady vibes, but like gender reversed.
I love the lower class hero.
He cracked me up.
She was so prim and proper.
The weasel made me cry or the ferret, whatever that thing was.
Yeah.
I just remember that book being so fun.
Kind of sexy, too.
Yeah.
My notes were that it was like very slow burn and that I really enjoyed how she wrote the
one sexy that we did get.
Yeah, and I wanted just like one more because I really enjoyed how she like went about it
and just my God yearning for the mud.
Yeah, I went and found my the mustache stay where it be on the lip.
I forgot I have like a like a shit ton of notes for this one, which is how you know
I was having a great time.
The audio and I need to I want to reread if you audio because I just did the ebook.
It was a ferret.
I have a note that says I'm fully about to weep over this little elderly ferret.
And we wept.
And we did weep.
Horror went out for the homie.
Let's go.
Let's go rid you of your infernal virginity.
I hate it.
I want it gone.
Oh, and he also puts her whole titty in his mouth because I have a note about Ali Hazel.
Oh, and they're related.
They're second cousins.
Yeah.
Oh, I did have that undermined.
I was like, you know, in my review, I was like, what did I say?
Something about having to Google our second cousins once removed.
Like, are you fully like is that incest?
Hannah, did a witch wear a mustache?
You know, oh my God, also lives the thing where like he'll shave the mustache if she
stands on the table and lets him look at her legs for 15 minutes.
We went through a lot with this one.
I did not.
Wow.
My one I do.
I now remember why it was four stars instead of five.
My one issue was the the reveal that, oh, he's actually nobility.
That pissed me off.
I didn't mind that.
I was like, I just didn't like it from like a message point of view.
Yeah.
Why couldn't he just be stylish and elegant and a good person while also being lower class?
I appreciated the drama.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was why it's a little bit lower for me.
But still six, it's up there with the rest of the best.
I thought that was such a fun book.
Also the audible sample is the leg scene.
I think that's crucial.
Someone at audible had a good time.
They knew what they were doing.
Good.
Six for me was Morning Glory.
I again really enjoyed this book.
It's not what I don't know if I would reread it.
I remember it, which is rare.
I was there.
I remember it all too well.
So much happened.
It was so cinematic.
It was very good.
The third act happened how it needed to happen.
It wasn't my favorite.
Yeah.
But like, I know why it happened that way and like I respect it.
I just think they'd been through so much that I wanted them to just like have a little nap
and be happy.
They got there eventually.
The last like two paragraphs made me weep uncontrollably and I listened to it like 10
times.
Yeah.
I, the first like 13 chapters or so I think would have made the perfect novella.
They hadn't even slept together at that point, but like where they started and like how they
ended just like at like from chapter 13, like it was just so perfect.
Like they just, she did so much and then to know we had like so much left and that she
still like made a compelling book and changed so much.
It was a very good book.
I only ranked it this like at number six just because I was like, I don't know if I would
reread it.
But I was like looking at this from like a rereadability because I do love to reread.
Yeah.
And it was long, but again, it was a good audio book.
I didn't particularly like the framing of the woman crazy, sex-addled, willa.
We talked about that.
We encounter a lot of that stuff.
Yeah.
In, but old school school.
I love it.
Because you, because especially when it's like introduced at the beginning and you know
what it's going to be like, I just don't like when things that happened with dreaming of
you when like, you know, it's going to be an issue and it's just kind of like hanging
over your head.
So it's like, maybe if I would reread it, I know what's going to happen.
So then it's like less like worrying.
Not that it ends up great for her, but I at least know what happens.
But yeah, I really solid book.
I didn't expect it like that one really either.
The time period wasn't really one that I was like eager to read about.
Brought me back to American girl days, victory gardens.
So wins a win.
Yes.
So that was six.
My number five was the rate.
I was like trying to remember like how I was feeling when I was reading it and I was like
having a good time and also sad.
Like it was definitely like I wrote, I think big sad.
Just I was sad and like this is sad.
This is me trying just like hurt me.
So if I want to like feel emotional, I think I would have read this book again.
Like just seeing his transformation.
Like I love seeing transformations like that.
Like I love like a reformed, not so like bad guy or like villain, but like I do love maybe
a redeemed because sometimes you don't want to reform.
Like the Joanna Lowell, the mean girl in like book one, it was like the heroine of book
two and I just love that dynamic.
And yeah, I just, the sheep, the sheep, the West Raven, all of it all.
The dog.
I did it.
Yeah.
Sacrificial penguin.
I think I could listen to it again and like take new stuff away from me because I was
just like experiencing it in the moment when I was reading it.
But yeah, it surprised me.
I was, I don't think I read the back.
I was like, I don't know.
The cover doesn't really do much.
There's like a quill on it.
So yeah.
So I think I used like an older version of the cover.
Oh, was there one, an older one?
Yeah, it was because this is the one that it was originally called the rake and the
reformer.
There are like old, old covers.
That's funny that I said reform.
Yeah.
Well, because she, she's the reformer.
Yeah.
Because isn't she also like a social reformer?
I don't remember if she's the reformer in the sense that she reforms him or if it's
because.
Yeah.
She's like reformer.
I think.
I think she also is like.
Helps us.
Oh, oh, she's got the whole like pottery situation in the town that she's like running for those
wards and she's got all the things to like help the townspeople.
So I used a, it's not an older cover.
It's just a different cover with a couple on it.
Oh, better than this quill.
I actually own the quill copy somewhere.
So yeah, that one solid book.
What do we read if I wanted to weep and listen to this is me trying on repeat.
Five, five I want the bride.
Yeah.
Not a ton to say we just did the episode on it.
So I feel like I talked about it recently because I did.
It was a week ago to the day.
Many moons.
But yeah, it was a solid four stars.
There's the one thing that I just can't quite get past to give it five.
Would probably reread not anytime soon, but I think with eventually when I start to forget
it, I think I would be willing to reread it.
We talked about during the episode, but it's one that I think I would have liked more if
I had read it earlier.
Yeah.
In my romance reading journey.
Yeah.
I think I would have loved it more, but now just having read so much more, there are better
books or books that I prefer.
Yes.
That's the end.
It's my mission to read more.
I've heard really good things about The Secret.
Oh yeah.
Julie Garwood, I feel like it's recommended all the time.
There's another there's like the lion's lady, Honor Splendor.
There was one other someone just talked about that I want to read.
So look out for more Julie Garwood.
Same thing with Joanna Lindsay because we really enjoyed Gentle Rogue.
Then I listened to a Mallory Christmas book yesterday that had me in my feels and that
one was really good.
I want to just read all the Mallory.
I think it's Mallory and Anderson, like the families.
What a great book Gentle Rogue was.
Not expecting that.
It's like the same narrator, so she sounded like a little rat, but it was endearing.
I'm like, oh, hi.
The Bride is my number four.
I looked at it purely because it was really hard for me to really look at the four four-star
ones and be like, how do I put these here?
I did that one just because one, I had already read it, so it was a reread and I enjoyed
rereading it, so I could reread it again and enjoy it, I believe.
The rereadability is the highest, I think, out of all of those.
One, probably because I'm going to read the series and then just read it again.
Two, I think whereas you were experiencing it for the first time with Annie and everything
for that, I didn't have the emotions behind it because I think I already experienced all
that when I did.
So it was a pretty carefree read at that point.
I was just kind of like, yeah, solid four-star book.
Like you said, if I would have read it earlier, it definitely would have stuck with me.
And things I think still stick with me, but I'm excited to read more of her work to really
imprint on one of them.
Yeah.
And was that your four?
You had to do a four.
My four was Morning Glory.
Morning, yeah.
I expected you to rate it high.
Yeah, I loved that book.
I just loved it so much.
I had no expectation of doing so.
I was like, okay, it's long.
Let's see.
I've heard good things about Leveril Spencer.
We'll see.
And then it was just so emotional.
Emotional onslaught, it's so tender.
That's the only word I can really use that I feel gets it across.
Just so gentle and soft.
It's two lonely people finding love.
Two lonely people making a family.
Because you also have the kids who feel like an integral part of the story, which is a
thing that is not always the case with kids in romance, but it really is the building
of a family and also a community because they end up being a really important part of the
community by the end of the book and having people show up for them in a way that neither
of them have ever experienced.
When he returns the milk or the honey and crones.
Oh my god.
And when he was like, she'll have a friend when I'm gone.
If you want a book to make you feel unpatriotic, it's Morning Glory because I was so angry
that man had to go to war.
I was like, how dare you take my baby boy and cut his hair and traumatize him.
We've been through enough books that don't make you feel unpatriotic.
I was real.
I was like, oh, I forgot the time period we were in.
Oh, I was reading a historical fiction that's like a World War I and II where I was like,
wow, war.
Yeah.
I mean, it could have been way worse.
I feel like I was prepared.
It was going to be a long and it wasn't.
Well, because I was like, OK, I knew the time period.
So I was like, I think the war ended in 48.
It was like 45 or something like that or 42.
So I was like, how is this man going to get out of here?
Are we going to last the entire war?
Yeah.
Or like the part when the US entered World War II or like, is he going to get injured
and how bad?
And like, yeah, it could have gone far worse.
Yeah.
Yeah, it.
I will.
I was happy with the scope of it because it did what it hurt me, but it didn't damage
me.
Yeah.
I was writing a thank you card.
I could put that because she could have done more.
So that was four.
Three.
I went in to go.
Oh, I did the proposition.
What books are left?
We'll get there.
It's fine.
I need to go back and reread Indigo because I truly remember very little of it.
But I this was one that, like, even though I don't remember the plot, I remember having
a great time.
I fucking love that book.
I remember him deciding he was obsessed with her.
Yeah.
I know.
Everybody else knew that he was obsessed with her before he did, which made me laugh.
And like, she had a fiance, but that we don't have to worry about that.
But this bag handled it so well.
I love cuckolding.
I love it so much.
I love it.
And you may quote her on that.
I love cuckolding.
Today they have found out that I have a humiliation kink and that you love cuckolding.
So and in the in the bonus episode that we recorded, the beginning that we didn't mean
to.
We also learned that Caroline hates ovals.
So the racetrack.
What do you whatever?
And I quote, I hate ovals.
I think it was the bonus.
Maybe it was the beginning of the I think it was a bonus.
It was bonus.
We were talking about Formula One because of course we were because I'm here.
I just in Indigo, it was so like the piece that I felt knowing that this book was written
by Beverly Jenkins, I knew the villains were going to get absolutely dead.
And I knew that that bad fool of a husband, like betrothed fiance was just going to get
the greatest.
Just, I don't know, cathartic feeling like it's for my one cuckolding.
Like I felt so happy.
I was like, I can't even be mad because it was just so poetic how it happens.
Like I was sitting in the veterinarian parking lot waiting for my dog to get out of the appointment
and I was just smiling.
I was like, I may be angry right now, but I won't be.
And that's that's why I love Miss Bev because you just know everything is going to.
Sort itself out.
The trash is going to take itself out.
It's going to be alright.
Yeah I the main thing that I took away from this book was that scene where they're in
church and he's like, we're going to get married and she's in church so she can't.
It's because they were like, we think there have been impure relations and he's like,
can confirm.
Looks like we have to get married and she like has to and you're like, that's so.
You're like, you're the worst, but also because I liked him, I was into it.
And then I read through the storm recently, so then you get a little bit of him in there
because then you have the friend and Indigo is the heroine through the storm.
And boy was it just fun to watch those men be undone.
So true.
So that was oh yeah, three.
The three for me was like I said, yeah.
That one I just want to reread again via audio and experience it all over.
I really I gave it five stars.
I gave it four and a half, but I run it up to five.
It was just so good like I again had no clue really what we were getting.
It opened with him trying to catch a mouse.
I was like, what are we doing?
It's but like in a hot way.
Yeah, he like everyone is like, I let him catch me like they like a bit of.
Exactly.
A man with a stash.
I just I want to know what he looks like.
Like I want to see Judith Ivory's like like I want to know what she I just want to know.
Frickin this podcast and that song making it my top spot or my top Spotify song because
I would sing it like we would say that I want to know just because I forget things.
And then every time after that we'd film, I'd be like, it's stuck in my head to have
to go listen to it.
And then lo and behold, it's my top song on Spotify.
When I heard it start, I was like, what do you mean?
I listened to it 79 times in a row.
Phil Collins.
Hello.
He gets me.
Because I do want to know.
I can't get the needle into the right hole.
I'm cackling too hard.
Okay, that's number three.
Number two.
What is your number two?
I what is left?
Why are you smiling?
It's flowers from the store.
Oh my I forgot about that book.
I was like, why are you smiling?
I was like, did you pick a fake book?
I was like, what is happening?
We have been going one by one through the books, but somehow I've magic math into being
completely different.
No, it's flowers from the storm.
That is understandable.
I forgot.
Plus we had a great episode with Alexandra Bastie, which only made me like it more.
I actually have nothing to elaborate on except that I'm in the camp with everybody who's
like this is one of the best romances ever written.
I'm with you.
I am without you, but standing on the sidelines saluting you.
Happy to go home.
Well, I'm with you.
We write it on.
And I think about the actually just that whole book.
I was going to say like specifically how well she wrote like the stroke and how fucking
terrifying that was to read.
But actually just all of it, the whole book, the him like working with her father.
Yeah, that got me.
The kittens in the like hedge.
Mainly it was the stuff with her dad that really got me.
I really liked that that happened before.
So you like knew.
Well, so you have him in the very beginning when he's like priest bro.
Yeah.
Doing all the scrabble, which we think.
Yeah.
And I that was so important.
But then after the stroke and like the father being one of the only ones besides her that
like sees that he is not like the diagnosis that everybody like the it was just so like
heart wrench.
And then the scene where she she just like gets some of his clothes to try to like make
him feel better and doesn't realize that she's accidentally put him in a riding outfit.
And so he thinks that they're going out.
I was just like, I'm tapping out.
I don't have the emotional bandwidth.
Oh, it hurts.
Like it's like gutting to remember it and like how hurt he was like.
And then him thinking that she had done it on purpose, like to make fun of him.
And oh, but you had her head.
You had her.
But it that was a different level hurt.
Like there's something about the masteries of like the scene where she goes into like
the punitive, like the silent room or whatever.
That's basically a punishment room where they can isolation room and she goes there to pray
because she's a Quaker and is like pray, asking for God's guidance or whatever.
And then she like suddenly has like the spark realization that he's not insane or like has
the intelligence of a three year old.
He's just trapped.
And the way that like this room means solace for her, but it would not mean that for him.
Like Laura Kinzale, the things that you do to me in every book of yours that I read.
But I want to read your celibate night one.
Oh, or my lady's heart.
That's going to be my litmus test.
If I don't like that book, then I'm not.
It's not meant to be.
But if I like that book.
I don't like that book.
I actually don't know what I'm going to do with you.
Yeah, like it sounds very good.
So I do want to read that.
I mean, it's a saga.
It's not one and Shadowheart are both traveling quest type, like over a period of time.
But what is the oh, I have to go look at my highlights for this book now.
This isn't even one that we read.
It's just one that I need you to read.
I know I listen to this shit.
This is at 19 percent.
Jesus Christ.
He stared at her, his imperious liege lady, beautiful and plain with her jeweled gauntlets
and her hair astray and a great black smudge of ash on her cheek, her own cloak he wore
about his shoulders and the duck she had hunted lay before him.
Her I don't know how to say this, ger falcon, ger falcon.
It's a falcon.
Her falcon held the soul of a dead lover and her eyes, her eyes, they saw through him like
a lance and crinkled at the corners when she laughed.
Get the fuck off my head, like what is going on?
I don't.
She just keeps throwing these lines in where you're like, like, why did you just write
the most beautiful thing?
My confessor has chastised me oft and bade me study on my sins at length.
And so my lady, he kissed her the hunger in it sinking down through her like a comet falling.
I have studied.
This is him explaining why he's good at going down on her even though he's chaste.
And he's like, yeah, it's because I had to confess all of my lustful thoughts.
And then they questioned me about them in great detail.
Good morning.
Oh, he wakes her up and her response is good morning.
And I hope that does break into boils and die.
That was the quote I was looking for.
Oh, no, no, no.
He wakes her up because he's leaving and she chucks a pillow at his head.
And then he's like, as one does, aren't you going to tell me good morning?
And she says good morning.
And I hope that break into boils and die.
That's very Hocus Pocus of her.
It is rock.
Just oh, rock.
What a name.
Rock.
He just and he's like the green knight.
And he's so dedicated.
There's something about that courtly love thing.
Like he's so dedicated to this lady, even though he doesn't even know her.
I'm unwell.
Anyway, my number two is Flowers from the Storm and Laura Kinsale.
There's only one book of hers I have read so far that I haven't absolutely loved.
So yeah, my number two.
This was hard because like I knew in my heart of hearts that number one is number one.
Yeah.
But Indigo, same number one.
Yes.
And we're going to keep you on your toes, guys.
If you don't know, you don't know.
You'll never guess.
Would never.
But see, I have a little bit of a controversy with that because the first time I read our
number one book, I gave it four point five stars.
Yeah, because I was not really paying attention.
Yeah.
So if I could go back and reread a book for the first time, it would be that one.
I had to restart it a few times because I was like in the middle of a puzzle.
I mean, I would not.
I do be puzzling.
My brain just was not connecting.
And by the time I like finally like got to caring about it or not caring, but like understanding
everything and like focusing on it, I just think I missed a little bit.
So then when I reread it like 10 other times, I was like, oh, here we are.
So while that has like progressed to being a favorite just forever, Indigo's like I just
flat out was five.
Like there was no like I was in it to win it because I knew we had to do an episode
on it.
So like I want to focus and like know everything.
So it was like two different reading experiences, but like Indigo was so good and it was perfect.
And like it just was everything I wanted to be.
And it was like both so soft.
But then like he wasn't really soft, but he was soft for her.
But like it was just so good.
I love him buying her things and like just like I said it before, just cuckolding.
It was joyful for me.
It was in the nuance of the cuckold.
It brought me joy.
And the villains.
Brightness and gratitude.
Exactly.
The villains, they got dead.
It's true.
They did.
And it just was such a like I don't even know like how to describe it, but I want to reread
it immediately.
Well, immediately.
I mean, I read it months ago.
I want to reread it post haste.
With haste.
Something hastily.
I don't know.
Post haste is right.
Right?
I don't know.
I say it, but I don't know if I'm saying it correctly.
As I want to do.
Yeah, that cover.
Amazing.
True.
Beautiful.
I believe there was like a bath scene or something.
Like there's just a lot of pampering and things happening.
And I was so on board.
And like you said, like he didn't really want to be in love, but he just was.
And then he was like, oh, I'm obsessed with you now.
And I'm just going to like make it happen.
I got to also give it to that book for being the reason.
I don't do it all the time, but occasionally if I want my coffee a little bit sweeter,
I do.
I don't put sugar.
I always use maple syrup.
I need to try that.
It's good.
I mean, it's just like a sweetener, but there's something a little bit nicer.
That was drumming.
Number one, the moment we've been all waiting for.
Number one, I feel like we don't have to talk a lot about because it's Lord of Scoundrels.
And of course it was number one.
And it was a reread, but nothing topped it.
And I don't think anything ever will.
Because with every read it gets better.
Yeah.
It actually only improves.
I just.
But also the perfect audiobook.
Kate Redding put all of her Kate Redding OC into it.
She did what no Kate Redding had done before, which was read that book to us.
She Kate Redding.
The horrible part was the way she accepted it.
Oh God, I love her.
I just read another Loretta Chase, Kate Redding also loved their dynamic of Kate Redding reading
Loretta Chase.
She reads a lot of them.
Oh God.
I need to read more of her books.
I can't get started talking about this one without talking for another hour.
So I actually just recommend listening to the episode, especially because we had Sanch on
that episode and it was fantastic, even though we had to record it twice because it didn't
work the first time.
That was fun.
Go technology.
I will leave you with the Tumblr quote that I found and inspired an entire series of posts
where I match historical romances with Tumblr quotes.
And it was all because I saw this one and I was like, that is the most highly specific
Jessica Dayne coded thing I've ever seen.
And it's the phrase, his horish tendencies and huge nose have captivated me.
I think it was written by Jessica Dayne.
I mean, Jessica Dayne.
I just get what the fuck is her trend?
Loretta Chase.
Dayne is the man.
Her name is Jessica Trent.
His horish tendencies and huge nose have captivated me.
That is the definition of what happens at the beginning of that book.
That's so true.
She spends so much time talking about how hot his giant nose is.
Baffling.
There's actually no better book than that one in existence.
One of our superlatives should have been Biggest Nose.
Dayne.
It's just Dayne.
Gave a little smooch.
Yeah, I mean that book just and he's so baffled by it.
I love nose kisses or forehead kisses.
Adorable.
The adorable part is.
Thank you.
Yeah, that one just withstands the test of time.
It kind of like.
It was good of us to do that episode first, but also so sorry to like start out so strong.
Yeah, yeah.
Because like, God dang.
How do you follow it up besides just rereading it?
You don't.
You suffer.
Yeah, you do.
So yeah, that's our ranking.
I think we should speed run the little superlatives.
Yeah, they don't.
We know what these books are about.
Yeah.
So we've just got a few to close us out to wrap up old school school 2023 graduating
class.
Well, not graduating.
We'll be back next year.
We will.
With potentially a little twist, which we're still going to we're going to work out logistics.
Yeah, we have.
There was another idea that I had tossed about to you, then we haven't done it yet.
Time.
Yeah.
It's a really crazy book, like anyone that like maybe wouldn't make me like want to go
on a murderous rampage, but like very good for like one that crazy.
I would love if the plot level was at the level of Sky O'Malley, not necessarily content,
but like the.
Yeah, things always happening.
Absolutely absurd plot twist.
That would be an excellent.
I know exactly the idea you're talking about.
Yeah, that'd be great.
The plot needs to be firing on all cylinders, like at all times.
Yeah.
And there's like a fun thing we want to do with it.
We just don't have the book yet.
Yeah.
So there's that.
So for the superlatives.
Yeah, we'll just do a little speed round.
Speed round.
Best surprise.
I said morning glory.
I said gateway gateway.
I put gateway first and switched it.
So yeah, that was definitely.
That was just so I mean, morning glory is also definitely cosigned like.
Yeah, I just did not anticipate slightly more in like I at least knew it was going to be
like the queer Gothic romance vibes.
Morning Glory I just genuinely did not know anything except like that.
I just did not expect to like I was terrified of Gawick.
Fair.
Like the old school Gothic just like inspire something so scared and childlike in me.
I was just like, am I bold enough for this?
Yeah, it was great.
And the same thing with morning glory.
I was like 1940s.
Yeah.
What do you have to offer?
Yeah, definitely both of those.
Worst surprise.
Well, that wild incest in Sky Home Alley, I have to take a minute to just kind of wash
my brain out because it's just on a highlight reel in there.
What happened?
Like there was a lot the dirtiest.
There was a lot of sex and then they just like rape her in the middle of it.
They do.
And I.
And then you follow it up with violence.
So much like.
It was just like the incest was.
Strong it was so strong.
It was a surprise.
Well, it was it was a kind of surprise.
It's a bad surprise because you know what's happening.
You know, like you knew.
Yeah, like a little bit before you like, oh, God, no, please don't.
But like, let's say you don't like surprise parties and you know someone's throwing you
one trying to be coy about it.
You're walking through the door and you're like, please, God, don't let this happen.
Like I just want normal night.
And then it's just a brother and sister just fucking running.
Real a lot of liquids and it's just really nasty.
And they're really into it.
And they're like degrading each other.
And they kind of hate each other, but like sexually.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I that's the best I can describe that.
My worst surprise was when she married her brother or his brother.
Sorry, not her brother.
Well, that's on par.
Yeah.
No, when she married his brother in Texas, destiny, I was so shocked that we took the
plot that far and not in a good way.
Like how?
How could you do that to us?
I felt betrayed to him.
Yeah, to all of us, really.
There were just multiple characters who at any point could have made different decisions
to not do that.
We could have had a great like interrupted wedding scene.
I saw that this issue that got to the altar, but like, yeah.
But then they just got married.
I was like, what do you mean?
So yeah.
Best for new to old school readers.
I went Lord of Scoundrels.
Yeah, I assume I picked Indigo just as.
Yeah, like I feel like Indigo and Lord of Scoundrels are both very unique to themselves.
Like there's just really nothing like them, which is, I guess, maybe not great to start
out because then you're kind of just like, what else do I read?
But they're not.
They're not scary.
They're just so good.
I think they both translate well into modern time.
Like fastest of them, you can see them in romances you read right now.
But no one's doing it as good as those two.
Like Indigo and Lord, like they're just so good.
I think those are both good for like not even old school, but like new to historical generally.
Because they're like they're not tame, but they're just like warm.
Like a warm hug, a little slap on the ass.
And neither of them are like bodice rippers, which I think is off putting for a lot of
people.
And we could like toss the bride in there, like we said in our episode, like that's like
a good Scottish one to start with.
I just think like if Lord of Scoundrels had been my first historical romance ever, like
number one, I would be chasing that high forever, unfortunately.
But I would have been like, well, I'm never reading a contemporary romance again.
Yeah.
Like how do you top that?
Yeah.
Most bonkers.
I chose one that I enjoyed for the most part because there were more bonkers.
Like, so I mean, How's Wild Incest Not Bonkers?
But I chose Prince of My Desire because I just did not expect it to do what it did at
like any point.
I was just like, oh, we're going there.
And then it just kept happening.
Like it just it just kept.
It was confusing how compelled I was.
So that's fair.
Bonkers in that sense, too.
Yeah, I went Sky O'Malley.
I don't think I've ever read a plot that did what that plot did.
And I'm just going to leave it at that.
I don't think we need to elaborate.
Most educational.
And I said, take that as you will.
What educational means to you.
I said Indigo.
I personally took my own educational note as like informative about the genre.
And I think it's very informative about early historicals, but also like the genesis of
black romance because it's Beverly Jenkins, the one and only.
So that was my interpretation.
Look at you being all smart.
And then I went.
I did How Not to Get the Girl.
And that's Whitney, my love.
And you like if you want to learn a lesson on how not to get fucking accuse her of sleeping
with everyone, sleeping with your brother, sleeping with Moe, Cliff, with the gimpy
leg.
Cliff, I didn't know.
She's a lie.
I love you.
I fucking love that movie.
Yeah, like Whitney, my love, both on how to write a compelling book and to do such deep
character work for her that we got and to make it still interesting and then to have
everything that happened.
But then also like just are also how to fuck up a book.
Yeah, have him do that.
Like just a lot of how to run there because like they had a many like there was miscommunications
and there were things conclusions to be jumped.
And then he just took one that you were just like, absolutely not my guy.
Like we've been here before.
Yeah.
But I still found him hot.
So there is that for me.
Too real.
Yeah, too real.
And finishing us out most memorable.
Well, we know I have a bad memory, but I will never forget Jessica Trent shooting Dane just
so skillfully on purpose and then turning herself in and then being angry that she can't
be resting.
I just love that, like imprinted on me.
My renaissance.
I was going to go Lord of Scoundrels.
It probably is the correct answer, but I did not number one because I chose it for another
one because it felt a little bit unfair considering I've re read that one and all of the others
were first time reads.
So just know the answer is actually Lord of Scoundrels.
However, I did exclude it because of its unfair advantage and I want flowers from the storm.
I was just thinking, I was like, I do remember the parts that I liked.
I remember those viscerally.
Yeah, there was the parts that I liked and also the painful parts just like really locked
themselves into my brain.
So I think that one's going to stick with me.
I agree.
I mean, also the incest was very memorable, unfortunately.
It scarred me on a different like memorable.
I know I can tell.
I just was not like, because you knew you were walking into that party and yeah, we
all knew what was coming and it wasn't great.
But it was everyone when they were siblings.
But yeah, that that really does it for old school school.
Grade one grade one.
Old school school 101.
101.
Are we moving on to what is it?
201?
201.
I never remember how the numbering goes.
201 next year.
102 would be like the second half of like the same core, which I guess it could be.
I guess that's true.
Nothing matters.
We make the rules.
This is our house.
We keep the lights up till January.
Yeah.
So yeah, I we have experienced so much.
We have.
We read so much.
That's true.
Yeah.
We have plans for kind of ideas.
Loose plans.
Dreams, loose plans.
For season three.
Yep.
You will get one more of our just like best books of the year, like superlatives situations
next week.
And that's our last episode of the season.
Look out for.
We've got that Christmas thing coming.
And whatever we talked about.
So it's just yeah.
Maybe we'll save the one and drop it in the middle of the winter break just to be like
surprised.
We'll do that.
Where are the gifts that keeps on giving?
That's us.
I'm like, look how God made me.
I have so much fun with that.
Yeah.
So one more just to wrap up the whole season.
And then more to come on next season and the school school season to come.
Yeah.
I have.
This was very fun.
I am happy we did it because again, like a lot of these didn't have audiobooks.
So like I'm probably not going to pick them up if I don't have a reason to just for time.
But yeah, I'm just happy to know to experience some of the foundational things for other
people.
Yep.
Very intriguing.
Yes.
And just like the anticipation of it potentially being like a favorite.
Like it's just so fun when you start.
Sometimes it doesn't get fun.
Sometimes you get angry, but it all starts fun.
It goes from there.
Blank slate.
Yeah.
Do keep an eye on Instagram stories.
We'll probably be collecting superlatives from you and the superlatives you would like
to see.
I feel like it's a different like we haven't because we haven't done a lot of TBRs.
So it's going to be like very interesting to remember what we read.
What did I even read this year?
I don't know.
I know.
I've read 400 books and I couldn't tell you.
I've read less than that.
It's over 200 though.
I'm reading a lot of novellas right now for the holiday season just because that's all
I can muster.
Yeah, I'm not doing any holiday reading.
I've read 263.
Good Lord.
For me, that's a lot.
You read a lot.
Yeah.
Last year.
I remember like last year compared to this year.
Yeah.
Last year I read 218.
It cracks me up to look at 2018 was 35.
2019 was only 10.
I was in college.
2020 was 64 or sorry, 66.
And then it goes 66 in 2020, 142 in 2021, 218 in 22.
And now this year I've read 263 so far.
So just the exponential curve that that.
Mine.
2015 was the first one.
One out of 50.
Nice.
I think it's Troy High by Shana Norris.
Great book.
Still recommend it.
Love that.
2016 was two out of 50.
Climbing.
And then I skipped to 2020 because apparently grad school hit me like a train.
And I did not partake.
And then the first half of 2020 I was still in grad school.
So I started reading and that was 100.
Wait, how did I read 119 of 120?
Oh, I think I deleted one for myself.
So I read 120 books that year, but now it's uncompleted and that's going to haunt me.
And then in 2021, it was like the author had a scandal and then it just made me angry knowing
that the author like did what they did, like attacked a reviewer.
So I like deleted the book from my.
Nice.
Yeah, it was a little fit of.
Stick it to the man.
2021 was 245.
So I jumped a lot there.
That was like crazy.
I read the entire room with the kid.
See, stick it to my roots.
2022 I had 430.
That was a lot.
Yeah.
And I have no ambition to break that this year because I can't do that.
I read so many Christmas books at the end or like holiday books, and I just am also
not doing that.
I'm going to I'm finishing up on more actually, which is fantastic.
And that's my book.
Yeah, we are my my in-person book club decided I wasn't at the last meeting, but they told
me they decided everybody's going to like pick one or two stories from it.
I can't I'd have to read it.
I'm going to read the whole thing anyway, because I have the audio book.
So I figure I'll just the narrators.
Yeah, that's really exciting.
I had started I picked it up last year, too.
And it was just so long.
I couldn't.
Yeah, it was a lot of pages.
But so I was really excited to see they were doing audio.
It's I didn't really like I knew obviously it's like a play on love.
Actually, I didn't realize that each story is kind of like a retelling of like each kind
of relationship in the movie.
I think I don't really watch that movie a lot.
It's not a favorite.
This I would just reread every year rather than watching the movie because it's doing
it for me.
I watched the movie once and never felt me.
That was really good.
And I'm going to read the Chloe Lee's one that is that did it for me.
Like hotcakes.
Yeah, I don't know why I said hotcakes, but it was so good last year.
I'm very excited to reread it.
That was a good one.
Yeah.
And probably just some other novellas that I like.
I got rid of or I read the arcs that I had and needed to read.
And now I'm kind of like home free.
I have some other fun arcs that I don't know if I'm like in the mood to really.
Yeah, I've got a shit ton of forever books I need to read.
Mostly books that I'm working on, but then also books that other people are working on
that are fun.
I got Dana sent me books today and I got the next Amanda Collins.
Oh yeah.
And the way that number one, I just love Amanda Collins.
But number two, Dana's told me that it's like Clue, if Clue were in his romance, like it's
a house party and somebody gets murdered.
Stop it.
It's a house party and somebody gets murdered and they have to figure out who it is.
The two wolves inside of me need to read that book now because I have access to the arc,
but also I've listened to everyone with Mary Jane Wells and I'm just like, how do I choose?
Because my brain narration can't compete, but I want to know.
And now that's the answer.
I have it for you.
It's that you read it and then it's going to be a long time.
And with your memory, for all we know, you could forget the murderer and it could be
like experiencing the mystery all over again when the audiobook comes out.
I'm the antithesis of forever.
I never remember anything.
It's just gone.
It's also pretty short.
I mean, it's like not a thick one and the galley is only 277 pages.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Oh, I could breeze through that.
Yeah.
It's really not a long one.
That's so sexy.
Do I need to add a disclaimer that this is a book that I work for the publisher?
Just in case you didn't figure that out from context.
Yeah.
Talked for a long time.
You know what?
You get what you get when you listen to us.
And we love our throbbing members for sticking around through thick and girthy.
We love you so much.
I was going to say thick and thin, but nobody wants thin.
Let's be honest.
Although we know it's not about the size.
It's about what you do with it.
It's through thick and girthy.
Okay.
Well, this was yay.
A wrap on...
This was yay.
And it was slay.
Ho ho ho.
You filthy animals.
You throbbing members.
We stand with throbbing members.
We do.
Guys, who wants number one?
We stand with throbbing members.
Guys, who wants to make merch for us?
Because neither of us are...
No.
I feel like neither of us can do that.
But if anybody wants to make merch for us, I would love that.
We are open to stickers.
We would give you hugs.
Stickers.
Yeah, we don't really have money.
I've got extra copies of books I could give you.
I have so many books.
That's so true.
Couldn't pay you a ton, but I would offer at least a little.
Yes.
You have an eye for design.
It doesn't even have to be fancy.
I just want some stickers.
No, I just want some ones.
Let's move on to the tits.
Because I think about that all the time.
Elizabeth Everett will always be famous.
Let's move on to the tits.
We heart throbbing members.
I think it should be we heart our throbbing members.
My comment was I heart our throbbing members.
But then I was just thinking generally without the hour, it would be a funny shirt.
I was going to say we could do two.
One for the host, which is us.
And then one for...
I am a throbbing member.
Throbbing members only club.
Pulsating just doesn't count.
I don't like that one.
I still want...
Whoever left the two star review, by the way, is a flaccid member.
I hope to God if you left the two star, you aren't still listening to us.
Yeah, I hope you aren't continuing to hate listen.
Please don't do that.
But if so, you're flaccid.
Sorry.
I don't make the laws.
Just so you know, though, just a little info by yourself.
You're flaccid.
What an insult.
I know you wanted a shirt that said double double toil in something.
Yeah, double double toil in trouble.
You've been cursed, motherfucker.
I want one that says that's my evil bitch and then one that says evil bitch.
I can make friendship bracelets for that.
That's easy enough.
That's so true.
It's gonna be passing out evil bitch friendship bracelets.
That's iconic.
Maybe the answer is that we just make a little Etsy shop for really cheap friendship bracelets.
I have so many beads and bracelets.
I blacked out at the craft store both today and yesterday.
Like insane amount of beads do I have.
And I will be bringing some to Stimulet because...
I've had a thought.
Oh, she's had a thought.
I've had a thought about a potential.
We should not be recording when I tell you about it.
Okay, she has a thought.
There's a thought.
Something may be coming.
If you hear nothing, that's because we ruled it out.
I think the thought of...
Stimulet, somebody please make us throbbing members only club.
We heart throbbing our throbbing members shirts.
Yeah, for real though, that'd be fun for the bracelets.
Yeah, it would be cute.
We wouldn't charge you.
We would basically just probably ask for shipping because it's not like they're gonna be the
highest quality friendship bracelets you've ever seen.
This is...
Listen, it's all coming together.
It is.
Full circle, not oval.
Thank you.
I don't have feelings about ovals except in racetrack contexts, but okay.
Subscribe, follow, leave us a review if you would like, and let us know.
Give us money.
Just kidding.
You cannot tell people to give us money.
Let us know if you have superlative thoughts for our season wrap up.
And what was my other thing?
I had a thought.
Well, if you have any books you want us to read.
Like a really bonkers, really crazy book.
Historical romance.
Yeah.
Would love that recommendation.
And then if there were just like any other books that you want us to cover or things
for us to embark on.
We can't guarantee it, but we can definitely look into it.
It's good to know.
Okay.
This was a lot.
Class dismissed.
Bring, bring, bring.