1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,800 Welcome back, welcome back to the laughing matters podcast. 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:09,800 I'm your host WS Walker, who also happens to be the author of the laughing matters and 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,040 the host of the could help channel on YouTube. 4 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:19,320 I feel like I should be playing some of the like, the come on down music from is it prices 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,600 right or the prices right? 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,600 Huh. 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:23,600 Interesting, interesting. 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:30,520 Uh, let me, I gotta look that up real quick. 9 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,400 Did I just find a Mandela effect? 10 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,400 Okay. 11 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,440 Uh, so I, all right. 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:38,440 So I looked it up. 13 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,440 Uh, interesting. 14 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,040 It is the prices, right? 15 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,720 Which I do not remember. 16 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:43,720 Okay. 17 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:48,520 Interesting, but not nearly as interesting as what we're doing here today. 18 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:54,680 You see, I have a friend of mine that I decided to have the conversation about the genuine 19 00:00:54,680 --> 00:01:00,520 laugh and breaking laugh with, you know, I wanted to do a, just a simple, straightforward 20 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:06,520 episode that like hit some of the key points just right out of the gate on one episode 21 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:11,200 and made even better because I'm explaining it to someone else in front of you. 22 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:16,720 Instead of just talking to the camera, you know, I can express myself a little better 23 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:22,360 when I'm actually talking to a person that I can see and get feedback from. 24 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:27,840 And I ended up really thoroughly enjoying the conversation and we shot it for a could 25 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,260 help episode. 26 00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:34,800 So if you're wondering why the mic sound not super great, they don't sound anywhere near 27 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,160 as good as I sound right now. 28 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:43,520 It's because we basically were wearing lavalier mics under our shirts and it's, uh, I didn't 29 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:48,840 really have a chance to prep the rooms first room for sound because I was having to rush 30 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,480 around, get the camera and the light set up since it was at their house, never shot there 31 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,480 before had to kind of figure out outlets. 32 00:01:54,480 --> 00:02:01,440 And anyhow, we had this conversation and it's, it's a very solid one that hits the core 33 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,600 of the things that set this whole thing off. 34 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:08,680 So I definitely wanted to do this one as a podcast episode as well. 35 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:15,000 I really, really hope you'll enjoy it cause I know you're going to enjoy her. 36 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,900 She's I adore her. 37 00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:23,200 So we're going to hop over to our two reporters in the field and send it over to will help 38 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,680 in just a moment. 39 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:30,300 But before we do that, I also wanted to take a second so you guys could hear the rather 40 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:34,720 supreme quality of the mic that I'm using today. 41 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:43,480 What you are hearing is the sure SM seven B. This is the gold standard for the broadcasting 42 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,760 industry. 43 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:49,760 And yes, I've said that about 17 times to friends, family, and myself, re-justifying 44 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:50,760 the purchase. 45 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:54,440 It's something that I've had an eye on for over a year now. 46 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,840 And I've, you know, they, for a while there was like, I should, I get it. 47 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:04,000 And then eventually I came to the point of like, yeah, I want to get this. 48 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,760 Let's, let's go ahead and step it up. 49 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,480 It was an investment, but I'm glad I did it. 50 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,320 Cause I mean, listen to that. 51 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:18,240 Now you've probably seen this mic, pretty much any professional podcasting thing you've 52 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,240 ever seen. 53 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,920 Joe Rogan show definitely has one in front of his face. 54 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:27,840 And I got to tell you, I've been doing some like online performances. 55 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,320 I sing and play guitar as well. 56 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,720 And, uh, Oh, it sounds so good. 57 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:42,840 I've never had a, a microphone boost my confidence so much as what I'm hearing back as I need. 58 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:51,560 I hear this live on going out and just, Oh my God, I sing better than I thought I sing. 59 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,120 And I'll get a little more into that, uh, you know, later on coming soon, we're going 60 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:00,280 to talk about something I've been doing recently online. 61 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,560 But I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be popping in at least one more to 62 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:10,080 fill in the gap that was left because, uh, a part of it we discussed before we started 63 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:15,760 rolling and part of it was cut out because there was like a severe audio issue that popped 64 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,720 up and we missed part of the conversation because of it. 65 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,880 But yeah, I got you. 66 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,140 I got you fans. 67 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:32,120 So without further ado, I introduce you to Brienne. 68 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,120 And clap. 69 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:38,120 Looking at the car wash. 70 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,600 Oh, whoa. 71 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,640 At the car wash. 72 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,640 Yeah. 73 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:49,840 How did you get so much taller than me? 74 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:50,840 I'm a Capricorn. 75 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,120 I'm six foot four. 76 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,640 That doesn't triple Capricorn. 77 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:55,640 That's not a thing. 78 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,640 It's a comfy coat. 79 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,640 Yeah. 80 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,520 I straightened out my spine for your nice. 81 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:03,520 Oh my God. 82 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,520 I'm still shorter than you. 83 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,120 You're in my spot. 84 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,320 I look like I'm slouching right now. 85 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,320 No, here. 86 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:12,320 Hi. 87 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,320 You're welcome. 88 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,320 Hello. 89 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,320 Hey guys. 90 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:29,840 Will Help here from the Could Help channel and WS Walker from the Laughing Matters podcast. 91 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:36,240 I am here today with Brienne, a good friend of mine for how long have we known each other? 92 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,000 Since I got out of high school. 93 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,120 So 2016, 2017. 94 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:46,360 I hit up Brienne maybe like once every couple of months and I'm like, hey, we should jam 95 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,360 Jam. 96 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,360 Hey. Jam. 97 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,360 We've got similar energy. 98 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:54,600 And then she out of the blue was like, hey, I'm working on improving myself and I also 99 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:59,000 am like really kind of focusing on having a better spiritual self. 100 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:03,960 I was like, well, I'm getting ready to maybe launch a series of interviews with people 101 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:08,560 where I explain some of this stuff to them. 102 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,080 One thing led to another. 103 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,040 This happened. 104 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,840 You're witnesses, like, you can't deny it. 105 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:16,840 It's been observed. 106 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:17,840 Exactly. 107 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:18,840 It's been measured. 108 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,560 Quantum-ly, it's certainty is certain. 109 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:23,560 It's happening. 110 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,040 My God, sorry. 111 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:30,360 I've been down the rabbit hole recently on some quantum theory. 112 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:34,680 I've been reading a book by Michael Connolly. 113 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,840 Michael Conner? 114 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:36,840 Michael Connolly? 115 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,640 I'm going to use one of these takes. 116 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:45,280 But he's a former NASA scientist that worked at the Jet Propulsions Lab at JPL. 117 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,360 And he grew up Christian and everything. 118 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:53,320 He tried to resolve his faith because he believed in God. 119 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,800 He just needed to understand it a little bit better. 120 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,560 And he found him in science, like I did. 121 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:05,480 Through my personal, my own personal journey, I think finding God through science first 122 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:09,720 and then kind of like building off that spiritually. 123 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,840 Especially if you're on the spectrum. 124 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:12,840 It really helps. 125 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,560 It really helps. 126 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:18,200 Like right here, this is one of the things I'm going to have to pop in on. 127 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:24,120 Right here should have been some talk between us about other elements of nonverbal expressions 128 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,400 that people with autism struggle with. 129 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:31,600 Brianne shares several traits with people who are on the spectrum. 130 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:40,000 And we got into a bit of a conversation over how actively learning your nonverbal expressions, 131 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:46,680 for those of us who excelled at it at least, it can result in becoming adults that read 132 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:53,080 nonverbal cues that others might miss as people who picked it up naturally haven't trained 133 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:59,680 as much active focus on these things as those who had to learn them non-intuitively. 134 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:05,200 But those that have, have this reinforced active attention that they've spent so long 135 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:11,600 pointed directly at this and the brain is trained to expect input to analyze whenever 136 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,080 we look at a person. 137 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:18,000 Again, granted, not everybody develops this as a result, but for those that do, it's a 138 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,320 valuable gift. 139 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:26,280 And we went on to talk about how it can be difficult sometimes for us when we are still 140 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,120 micromanaging all of those nonverbal expressions. 141 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,160 You know, we're doing it actively, consciously. 142 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:39,760 At least for me, it had this unpleasant underbelly of an emotion to it. 143 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:45,160 Even though the emotions I was expressing with my body and my, you know, my body language, 144 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:51,640 my face, my sounds were a hundred percent genuine emotions that I was expressing that 145 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:57,240 in no way differed in shape, volume or validity from anybody else's emotions. 146 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:04,640 Having to actively move my face and body, you know, consciously, almost like puppeteering, 147 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:11,120 it gave me this questioning of the genuineness of my emotions. 148 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:17,920 Like I was, I was worried that because I was essentially acting to show consciously how 149 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:22,360 I felt much as an actor might. 150 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:28,680 And because that meant that I was having to, and I use air quotes here, fake the emotions 151 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,760 on my face. 152 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:38,680 I couldn't help but feel somewhat that this means that my emotions weren't as real or 153 00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:43,760 as valid as other people who naturally respond nonverbal. 154 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:49,880 And it was axiomatic, you know, it was because this on my face is not real. 155 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:57,920 And again, I knew that the feelings I had were real and you know, were genuine. 156 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:03,040 It's like they got discounted as soon as they pass through that filter of being expressed 157 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,240 in this way. 158 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:12,400 And I know as a heck of a thing to be like laid out on the head of a 12 year old, but 159 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,600 you know, this was only a problem for my adolescence and my young adulthood. 160 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,720 I eventually pretty much get to the point where my face and body react automatically 161 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,880 with the appropriate nonverbal sounds and face embodied. 162 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:31,840 Believe me, I occasionally do still spit out the wrong thing, but the closer that I got 163 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:39,920 to this goal, the less and less that there were any real feelings of disingenuousness 164 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:47,680 to my emotions because there was no longer an act involved anywhere in it. 165 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:48,680 Right? 166 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:49,680 Sorry. 167 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:53,240 So that brings us up to speed now. 168 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:59,240 Apologize for me butting in, but hopefully you enjoyed the microphone. 169 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:03,560 Something I think about often is like a lot of the time is like I'm really like conscious 170 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:07,160 of like what I'm doing with my body, even if like it's kind of spontaneous. 171 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:11,800 I'm always thinking about like my facial expressions and the amount of eye contact I'm maintaining 172 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,760 and the way I'm moving my body. 173 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,680 It's just a very confusing scape sometimes. 174 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:21,320 But it also helps to know like when you're trying to express yourself, how to express 175 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:29,560 yourself in all these different mediums and human beings are incredible at basically finding 176 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:35,780 a way to share that which they think or that which they feel or that which they have found 177 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:37,880 and it was good. 178 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,520 And you know, we came up with language. 179 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:45,080 You know, we found ways to express it through the sounds we can make and the shapes we 180 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,120 can make with our mouths and our tongues. 181 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,120 Like we're like, and I'm going to shove air at you and hear my thoughts. 182 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,240 It's pretty crazy. 183 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:57,280 Here's up here, just emptying out up here and let me hit everything that's of all these 184 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:01,600 molecules are bumping into each other in the air in a very specific pattern. 185 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:07,160 Like electricity and make it into something everyone else can understand. 186 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,160 Exactly. 187 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:14,640 And we put it in, we find intonation and we find ways to further color what we're saying 188 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,680 by the way we're saying it. 189 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:18,320 And then we're like, you know what? 190 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,480 It's not enough that we're saying it when we're saying it. 191 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:22,480 Let's make it stick around. 192 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:27,360 So we figured out ways to make it stick around in written language where you put dark little 193 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:35,720 squiggles on slices of tree and then your voice can be heard in somebody else's head 194 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,720 exactly as you said it. 195 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,680 Like your thoughts can withstand millennium. 196 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,760 There's so many different ways we've come up with expressing ourselves, but there were 197 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:53,560 things that were not expressible by ways of literal, you know, expressions like how we 198 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,120 feel as a big one. 199 00:12:56,120 --> 00:13:00,440 You know, when you undergo grief, when you undergo being in love, when you undergo all 200 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:07,560 these different things, there's a...we found that there's ways to express them in going 201 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:12,480 abstract and not saying it, but saying the things around it, allowing them to see the 202 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:18,280 process of it, allowing people to see little slices of it in action to describe what it 203 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:23,600 is or all that, you know, photography, art, music. 204 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:28,760 But there is one that we go to automatically since birth pretty much. 205 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,240 I mean, it's a learned behavior, sure. 206 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:39,120 Nonverbal communications, you know, face movements, body language and the sounds we make that 207 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:41,840 aren't the word sounds. 208 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,920 My favorite kinds of sounds. 209 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:44,920 Your favorite. 210 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:49,760 You can ask anybody like every time, have you met anybody who I have a sound effect 211 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:50,760 for everything? 212 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,000 Like it's almost uncomfortable. 213 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 I can't stop. 214 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,440 I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. 215 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:57,960 I don't have that many. 216 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:03,960 I do occasionally throw like a...I mean, like, of course, involuntarily, I'm like, I'll do 217 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:09,480 my...A lot of nonverbal language is stuff that you have to pick up and you have to understand 218 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,440 it kind of as you go. 219 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:16,240 But a lot of it's almost seemingly automatic for most people. 220 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:20,560 And if I told you an emotion, you could think of it pretty much. 221 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,840 You can close your eyes and you can think to yourself of any emotion. 222 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,960 Like, think of an emotion. 223 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,120 Lock one down for me. 224 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,200 I got it. 225 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,200 Think of what it looks like, what it sounds like. 226 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,640 Like you can immediately think of the sound, the look. 227 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:40,800 In fact, most of the time it has a descriptor, a word that you can use to describe the sound 228 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:45,840 and for nonverbal communication that people like if it's sad, crying. 229 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:46,840 Which emotion was it? 230 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:47,840 Oh, anxiety. 231 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,840 Anxiety. 232 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,760 What is the sound of anxiety? 233 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,560 Oh, it's like a static TV, but it's like hot. 234 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,560 Oh, no. 235 00:14:54,560 --> 00:15:00,160 No, I mean, when I say nonverbal communication, when you're trying to communicate to somebody 236 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,200 that you feel anxiety, you don't look at them and go... 237 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,920 No, I do. 238 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,120 You obviously don't know me. 239 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,880 What's a sound someone would make to express that they're anxious? 240 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:13,920 I've made that one quite a few times. 241 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:14,920 Sleep. 242 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,560 What's another emotion? 243 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:18,920 Jealousy. 244 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,880 Okay, what's a jealousy sound? 245 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,920 A jealousy sound. 246 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,280 I've made that one before. 247 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,600 That is really good. 248 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:33,600 Ten rays, there's all sorts of... 249 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,600 Oh, okay. 250 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,800 You threw a little sass in yours. 251 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,800 I'm sassy. 252 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:38,800 That's fair. 253 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:39,800 A lot of sass. 254 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:40,800 I'm a lot of sass. 255 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:45,800 That's why I don't subscribe to that emotion. 256 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:50,240 There is one emotion out there that there is no... 257 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,520 Let me rephrase. 258 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:58,120 I can almost guarantee you, you cannot right now tell me the descriptor word for what the 259 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,280 sound and nonverbal communication is. 260 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,840 It's easily the most important one of all the emotions. 261 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:13,720 People have described it as being like oxygen, all you need. 262 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:18,640 It's the only thing worth both living and dying for. 263 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,640 That's me, by the way. 264 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,160 That's a quote of me. 265 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:27,840 Somebody else might have said it at some point, but I came up with that on my own. 266 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:28,840 Love. 267 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:29,840 Right? 268 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:37,280 What is the nonverbal sound that you make when you love? 269 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:43,520 What's a nonverbal body language and facial movements that you make when you love? 270 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:50,440 I promise you, there is one that you can name right now, but it's going to be elusive to 271 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,240 you because it's a riddle. 272 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,720 It's something that's been hidden from you your whole life. 273 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,600 It's been right under your nose. 274 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:04,280 I know there's been times with Kelly where it's like, I've been feeling the love so hard, 275 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,120 it just makes me want to laugh. 276 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:10,480 Or just smiling real big. 277 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:11,740 I don't know. 278 00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:18,700 It's just funny to me that I can love something that hard, that another person can make me 279 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:23,620 feel that alive. 280 00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:28,400 I have asked hundreds of people this question. 281 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:39,120 I talked to a lot of people about this and you just walked directly into the right answer. 282 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:48,760 But if I said, laughter is the sound that we make when we love, most people would argue, 283 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,760 I mean not really. 284 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,600 Laughter is joy, man. 285 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:53,600 And joy and love. 286 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,600 But it's not always. 287 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,400 You don't laugh because you're loving all the time. 288 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,400 That's not the whole reason you laugh. 289 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:08,280 It does sound like kind of, most people, you may not need any spiritual help. 290 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:13,320 You kind of floored me with that. 291 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:19,000 Most people would argue that, yeah, kind of, but wait, steal my thunder. 292 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,000 Let's roll back. 293 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 I'm sorry. 294 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:28,320 So, Brianne, what would you say is the sound of love? 295 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,320 Not a clue, right? 296 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,320 No, I have no clue. 297 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,320 I don't know what it could be. 298 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,320 Tell me, Will. 299 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,320 What could it be? 300 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:45,480 The reason that it is a riddle is because it's not the kind of love that most people 301 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,240 automatically think of. 302 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:52,520 And I think about it, and you and Kelly are both very much the type of people that would 303 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,000 get this concept. 304 00:18:54,000 --> 00:19:01,320 But when most people think of love, they think about a very aimed variety of it. 305 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:08,280 A type that is sent in a specific direction because you can't widen it out to everybody. 306 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,280 You can't... 307 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:17,080 Guys, I'm going to wait until they're pulled away just a little bit. 308 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:21,880 We'll roll room sound real quick because we still haven't done that. 309 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,520 Kelsen, you had 18 jobs. 310 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,480 Can you do at least one of them? 311 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,480 Okay. 312 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,600 Very good. 313 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:45,280 The reason it's a riddle is because he'll never tell you why it's a riddle. 314 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,280 Fair enough. 315 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,280 I figured it out, guys. 316 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:54,880 And we tend to do that aiming because, well, we can't trust everybody, you know? 317 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,480 We've got that in our heads in society. 318 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,680 Damn sure doesn't let us forget that. 319 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,200 We fire love through arrow slits and castle walls. 320 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:06,000 So you have our defenses and we decide who's worthy of coming the inner castle gates and 321 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,320 then coming inside that. 322 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,840 But when we are not aiming at love, there's moments when we're like... 323 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,960 I've used this example in my book. 324 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,560 I've used a lot of this in my book. 325 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,840 Just the best ways I've found to describe them is like when you're sitting at dinner 326 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,960 with friends you haven't seen in a long time and that you adore, or family members you 327 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:29,600 haven't seen in a while, or having that 3 a.m. porch set with somebody that you adore and 328 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:34,480 it's just things are quiet and you can't help but laugh. 329 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,560 You just love everything and everyone in those moments. 330 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,240 You don't have your defenses up. 331 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:46,120 You become giggly when you're trying to make that person you love laugh. 332 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,320 In those moments your defenses are down. 333 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,200 You're not worried about who you're keeping out. 334 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,840 You're just letting in. 335 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:57,560 You're taking a hill on a sled when you're raising your arms about to do the dip in the 336 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,960 roller coaster. 337 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:05,880 You just, your smile turns into a grin which boils over and cracks into a billion pieces 338 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:11,040 into a laugh and you let it out into the world and anybody that catches it gets some. 339 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,100 That's the sound of love. 340 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:16,780 We instantly recognize it and it's musical and when we feel that way... 341 00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:21,920 When we feel like that, sadly this did not get included in the conversation, but when 342 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:27,040 you feel like that your defenses drop. 343 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,360 They come tumbling right down. 344 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:36,600 You are existing in that moment as you were designed to best function. 345 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,600 That's right. 346 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,160 You have reached zenith tier. 347 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:50,280 You've been optimized to do this and that love comes pouring out of you and you do not 348 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:54,080 care who it hits. 349 00:21:54,080 --> 00:22:01,880 When you laugh like this and you love un-aimed like this, you feel complete, right? 350 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:13,520 Like all of this is going to be okay and you can choose and what's insane is you can choose 351 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:22,720 to do this anywhere, anytime because you don't need to find a roller coaster or sledding 352 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,440 hill or front porch. 353 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:37,560 You can instead simply decide to drop the walls and love them all and to be ready to 354 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:44,120 share that love with them with a very specific kind of laughter. 355 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:50,480 The absolute purest kind of laughter. 356 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:59,480 When you just open up and let in and it just comes naturally, that is the genuine laugh. 357 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:04,320 Trademark pending. 358 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:09,480 That's something I have labeled the genuine laugh is when you just let it out because 359 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:16,880 you're overflowing with joy and love and you're not concerned about who it hits. 360 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,640 You're not concerned about who's going to take advantage of it. 361 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,640 Love love. 362 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,400 What do you mean love love? 363 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,400 I love love. 364 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,720 It's a good thing. 365 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:32,440 Just absolute, just completely like vulnerable like joy. 366 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:38,280 Like how's that feeling? 367 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:43,960 But this is the hard part. 368 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:52,040 I talk a lot about on the channel how the secret to happiness is doing for others. 369 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,240 It's caring about others. 370 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,080 It's loving others. 371 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,080 Nobody gets happiness by themselves. 372 00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,080 Not real happiness. 373 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:04,200 You can get kind of a tied you over kind of happiness. 374 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:11,560 Like when you do for self, when you buy something you want, when you do whatever for self to 375 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:18,240 try and go for happiness, it's all the excitements before you get the thing and then like you 376 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:24,120 get the thing you're like alright and then it just becomes another thing you own so quickly. 377 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:29,800 The best analogy that I've come across, let me look at you, maybe, the best analogy that 378 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:35,200 I've come across so far is essentially one that states doing for self is kind of like 379 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,200 eating. 380 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,200 What's your favorite candy? 381 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:38,200 Reese's Pieces. 382 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,000 Oh a lot of Reese's Pieces. 383 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000 Mini M&M's. 384 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,000 Mini M&M's? 385 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000 Yeah the small ones. 386 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,600 Because you like get more candy coating in it. 387 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,960 They're so much better. 388 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,960 They are too aren't they? 389 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:50,960 They're a bit sweeter. 390 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,960 It's the perfect candy to chocolate ratio. 391 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:54,960 Interesting. 392 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,440 I'm just thinking about getting some on the way home. 393 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:03,640 It's like eating your favorite candy, Reese's Pieces, as many as you want for dinner. 394 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,160 I've done that. 395 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,800 But you don't feel good after. 396 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,200 Like it doesn't feel like you had dinner, you don't feel like you've completed your 397 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,200 night. 398 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:17,680 And it's just when you wake up, like you're not super hungry because it kind of sits like 399 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,840 a dead weight in there. 400 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,720 It's not good. 401 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:27,440 But when you do for others, it's like eating a three course meal. 402 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:33,600 It leaves you satisfied and full and you just, I don't know, you feel satiated. 403 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,600 It feels better. 404 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,480 It lasts for longer. 405 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,160 It does. 406 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,920 So Reese's Pieces do not last for long. 407 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:47,600 Unfortunately, there's this other type of laughter out there that, well it's a bit like 408 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,080 that. 409 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,720 It's a bootleg laughter. 410 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:55,800 It's like a $10 Rolex kind of laughter. 411 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,160 It doesn't satiate. 412 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:03,360 It's a quick little boost, but then it's over as quickly as it was. 413 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,760 Yeah, that made sense. 414 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:06,800 No, it does. 415 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:11,640 It's like when you see a video of a guy and like a bucket hits his head or something and 416 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,200 you laugh and it feels good for a second. 417 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,720 I hit you right now. 418 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,720 But it doesn't last for long. 419 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,960 Why are you stepping on my lines? 420 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,160 Is that really your line? 421 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:27,400 Why are you running up on what I'm about to address? 422 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,200 How did you guess? 423 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,200 Okay. 424 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:34,280 Well, yeah, that's where we're going with this. 425 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:39,480 There's this theory out there by Peter McGraw, genius. 426 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:45,760 He's a researcher and professor at the University of Colorado. 427 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,240 He wrote a brilliant book, well co-wrote it with a journalist where they went around the 428 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:55,120 world and they specifically looked at why each culture laughs. 429 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:57,080 Like what did they find funny? 430 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,360 I like that. 431 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:06,320 He runs the HURL, which stands for the Humor Research Lab at the University of Colorado. 432 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,120 But the thing that struck me was benign violation theory. 433 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:15,560 This man jumped on board with a theory on humor that we've had three pretty much over 434 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,240 the last several, several centuries of philosophy. 435 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,200 Aristotle, Socrates, Plato, they tried their hand at it. 436 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,640 The very first philosophers, why we find something funny? 437 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:31,760 They went with superiority theory, which basically said that you feel you're laughing because 438 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:36,360 you're better than them and you're acknowledging that you're better than them. 439 00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:44,920 They had incongruity theory, which was basically that what happened was not what you expected. 440 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:50,560 And then there's relief theory that states that basically that we laugh to show that 441 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:54,000 everything's okay, that it's all right. 442 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,560 Like whatever scared us is fine. 443 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:01,800 But there's no theory that fit all the different types of laughter. 444 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:09,380 And then this man, and I kind of hate that he came out with it like a year after I discovered 445 00:28:09,380 --> 00:28:10,920 mine. 446 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:11,920 And he wrote about it. 447 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,560 He did several, several papers about it. 448 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,680 He did this one brilliant paper in 2014 that everybody should read because it's like a 449 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,480 page and a half. 450 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,040 And it just so succinct. 451 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,840 But essentially you have a Venn diagram, which is two circles overlapping. 452 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:32,360 And on one side you have benign, right, which is things that are predictable, things that 453 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:39,160 you can see coming, things that are unchanging, things that are safe, things that don't really 454 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,120 have any violation to them. 455 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,080 And then you have violation. 456 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:50,980 And violation are all the things that make a joke not okay, that take a joke too far. 457 00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:53,640 It's that vein of things. 458 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,640 And all humor lies somewhere in there. 459 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:05,520 Somewhere, you know, but where it lies, the amount of benign versus violation, the levels 460 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:13,600 are picked based on your relationship between the viewer, the laugher, and the victim. 461 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:18,240 If you're really close, it only takes just a little bit of violation in a perfectly safe 462 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,240 setting. 463 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:24,760 And not even completely trip and fall, put the other person burst out laughing if you 464 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:25,760 guys are besties. 465 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,960 You know, and it's made funnier by the fact that they weren't hurt because you don't want 466 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:33,240 to see them hurt. 467 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:40,880 Whereas because we do not care about other people as much when they're fictional, which 468 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,960 a lot of readers would argue that. 469 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:49,280 But in general, if you create a fictional character, it's okay to laugh about, you know, 470 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,360 you can have the worst things in the world happen to a movie character. 471 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,740 And it's hilarious. 472 00:29:55,740 --> 00:30:00,880 And then you hear stories on the news and there's some hilarious stuff there, but those 473 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,400 are real people. 474 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:08,920 And then, you know, you see stuff happening in the world when you're out and about. 475 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:13,360 And sometimes we make fun of that. 476 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:20,320 There's this type of laughter that we have that falls under benign violation, but it 477 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:30,000 tends to be when more violation occurs because we've geared a style of thinking towards, 478 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:34,640 I can get more for myself if I care about others less. 479 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:40,320 The less I care about others, the better off I can be. 480 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,600 I can pick my path better. 481 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:47,240 I make my way towards what I want more easily. 482 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:51,800 And I have a higher chance of getting what I want from me. 483 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:57,720 This is where all that starts coming full circle here. 484 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:02,360 And in this newer focus that we've had that keeps progressing more and more towards a 485 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:06,360 self-centered kind of hero. 486 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:15,160 All the different capitalistic pushes that we have and which it is better to do for yourself. 487 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:21,360 We wind up with the necessity of lowering our compassion. 488 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:28,280 Of basically deadening ourselves a bit so that we don't feel as bad for other people. 489 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,200 We don't feel it's obligated to help other people. 490 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,920 And we use the breaking laugh from that. 491 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:40,600 We use this style of laughter and you see it in shows like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 492 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,040 is an excellent example. 493 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:47,080 I'm sure you can just off the top now you know what you're looking for. 494 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,720 There's a lot of breaking laugh television out there. 495 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,040 There's a lot of breaking laugh movies out there. 496 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:58,200 There's a lot of focus on helping us kill off our compassion just a little more each 497 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,120 time. 498 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:07,120 This kind of laughter again it's this bootleg version of the real sound. 499 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:17,520 And we're using the sound of loving all to help as a salve on the wound of each time 500 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,040 we break our compassion off just a little more. 501 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:29,920 Just each time we pulverize and reduce our ability and empathy a little more so that 502 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:34,480 we can laugh off things that we don't want to feel bad about. 503 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:43,280 So that we can move past the stuff that we've done to other people that we don't want to 504 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,960 feel bad about. 505 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:54,920 It's a training laugh and it's a breaking laugh. 506 00:32:54,920 --> 00:33:03,000 And it's a salve and it's a dime store knockoff and it's that's the breaking laugh. 507 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:09,120 It's any laugh that takes you further from our interconnection takes you further from 508 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,680 each other. 509 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:17,000 And it was from here that I found everything else. 510 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,640 That I found everything else. 511 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:26,200 To be continued.