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(Auto-generated)Hey guys, welcome back.

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We got another show for you today, episode 22 of the podcast.

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No idea what I'm naming it yet, but anyways, let's jump right into it.

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I'm WS Walker.

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This is the laughing matters podcast and welcome to the thing.

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I've so often heard people say that you shouldn't worry that much about

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what other people think of you.

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We've all gotten that piece of advice at some point.

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I disagree to an extent.

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There's a specific, there's an asterisk to mine.

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Um, because part of what people think about you and often most of what

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people think about you is not entirely accurate of who you are.

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What I'm saying is that you should be worried about what people think of

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you by way of your actions, especially those who have a good read on who you are.

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Because those people, they are the product.

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They're not, they're not just the byproduct of your decisions.

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They are the makers of the product of your decisions.

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I know that's confusing, but I'm saying that it's good to keep in mind that

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wider viewpoint of your effects on the cacophony of the product.

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On the cacophony of cause and effect as a whole, if nothing else, to give you

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a more accurate barometer of where you're at in this life, and at the end of the

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day, in those big impression moments, the way that we affect them the most

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deeply is most often the one that lingers within them and shouts the

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loudest within them when they think of you.

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Remember how, and I'm certain that seconders will definitely remember this one.

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Remember how I had you imagine time existing as a sculpture that's ever

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being added to that runs from one cause and effect to another, building the

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sculpture at a steady, unchanging rate with every detail and result of said

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decision and everything that has already happened is there, and that's

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already happened is there permanently.

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Exactly as it happened.

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You remember the sculpture, right?

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But if not, now is an excellent time for your first read of the book.

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I started chapter one, go to chapter 10.

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If you already read the book and don't remember it, maybe it's time for

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your first reread of the book.

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And here's a secret.

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Well, not a secret, I guess, because I've already told you guys this,

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but it is a far bigger hit to your system during the second reading, because

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you already have the full groundwork and understanding each of the pieces and

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how they fit together and support the other pieces, and you get to see for

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yourself in the second read through.

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If each piece fits from a place of knowing about the whole thing, it's kind

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of a staggering experience and one that I recommend to everybody, and I feel

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more than confident that seconders would back me up on that.

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Anyways, we talked about how we build a sculpture, right?

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So the thought is that when you consider what is left behind when a person

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dies, you know, the parts of the sculpture that they influenced, well,

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I'd imagine those that spend their life sending out decisions and actions that

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made somebody's day better or made somebody else more likely to be gracious

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or kind or generous in their next interactions with people.

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Those people move up through the sculpture, sending out parts of themselves.

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They add complimentary colors and shaping to the sculpture.

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And when they go, what's left behind of them, which is still every bit as

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there and as real and tangible as when it was happening, mind you, but so

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much of the best of them, they have left themselves behind in the people that

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they interacted with and then the decisions that came forth from those

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interactions, they hold partial ownerships of every person's decision

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that they somehow affected with their own.

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And then in every decision affected by said decision and every decision

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affected by those decisions that resulted in a on it goes and multiplies

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as it goes and the statue.

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Well, it's so much better from that kind of person making their way through it.

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They stretch out into the statue so that when their physical body is gone and

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their consciousness is no longer available to the rest of the world by

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conventional means, they are still living in those ownerships and the

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decisions of those still building the sculpture.

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What part of them stays behind lives on in the cacophony of cause and effect.

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To quote Lin-Manuel Miranda's Hamilton,

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legacy, legacy.

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What is a legacy?

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It's planting seeds in a garden.

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You never get to see, but who's to say we don't get to see that sculpture after we die.

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I mean, once we're no longer tethered to the sculpture itself, that three

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dimension with the sliver of the fourth dimension point that we just been

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stuck in our whole lives, being able to step away from it, to take it all in.

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I don't know about you guys, but I love seeing the sculpture.

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I don't know about you guys, but I love stepping back after finishing

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an art piece when it's done or being like halfway through it.

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Admiring the beautiful strokes of the brush and cringing at the mistakes I made.

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So to me, seeing how a lifetime of choices affected the timeline, see how I

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progressed as a person and the decisions I made, you might see how that would appeal to me.

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But I digress people that reach down with good intent, spreading themselves

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and that good intention through the statue.

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They raise the statue, they strengthen it.

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They feed it.

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They beautify it.

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They make it better.

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They make the statue better.

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And then there's those that didn't, those that kept mostly to themselves,

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that did primarily for self above all others, that

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the people that made little to no spread out, they take all of their

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achievements, prizes and meetings from their time here.

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They take all these with them when they go.

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I mean, they don't get to have them.

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They aren't really left in us either.

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They accumulate inward until suddenly there's no more inward and at which

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they accomplished for themselves, just suddenly goes, they pulled in on themselves and are gone.

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Their existences are there, but they don't have the power to do that.

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They're little more than a texture line sculpted into the sculpture and their

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influence on the decisions made after they pass from this world stops when their body stops.

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And then, then there are those that stepped on next to get what they wanted.

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Those that embrace the idea that they're going to be the next generation.

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They wanted those that embrace the idea that they can get more for themselves by caring

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less about how what they're doing is affecting others.

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Well, they litter the sculpture with landmines and razor wire.

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I mean, what do you want me to say?

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They make it so much harder for everybody else.

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Their interactions to this life crack and crumble the clay and blow whole chunks out

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of the sculpture's body.

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So yeah, yeah, it matters a bit what people think of you.

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A bit.

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The way that you affect them and the decisions they made while under that effect.

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The impression you leave on people.

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I mean, the way that someone is shaped and affected by interacting with you.

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I, we could go in circles on this, but you know, when there is something that since

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we're talking about impressions here, I would, I would love to know this.

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When was it that we decided to use impressionable as an insult?

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I mean it, the word impressionable at its core breakdown.

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Let's take it apart by route impression.

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Right.

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We know what impression is and able meaning you are capable of having

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an impression made on you, AKA.

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You are pliable, you are able to make an impression on people.

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AKA you are pliable and remoldable to new information that you are open

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minded and willing to observe something from someone else's point of view.

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And make decisions from there.

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And to clarify the someone else's point of view part isn't definition, but it's a

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pretty common example of having an impression made right.

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You're capable and likely to take in another's viewpoint and add to your

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learning, AKA you are impressionable.

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They can make an impression on you, but there's a little tag put on it to

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insist that it's an insult and that that's that, that doesn't feel right.

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Not inherently.

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It shouldn't mean specifically this.

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If anything, so the, sorry, but a bit of a point of contention, the Oxford

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language gives us the definition easily influenced, right?

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Because of a lack of critical ability.

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Whoa.

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Why?

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Why does it have to have that second part?

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A Macmillan dictionary gives us someone who is impressionable is easily impressed

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and influenced by other people.

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Okay.

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That's I mean, okay.

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Yes.

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That's, that's actually pretty good, but it doesn't just have to be people.

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It could be experiences.

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It could be that to have an impression made on you, it doesn't have to be from

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a person.

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But right after someone who is impressionable is easily impressed and

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influenced by other people, they put that tag in there usually because they are

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young and lack experience in life because they lack experience.

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Not because, you know, possibly as an alternate, they've gained enough

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wisdom to understand keeping an open mind within themselves tends to lead to better

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understandings of the truth.

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Just saying.

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But, you know, according to the dictionary, it's a lack experience as a

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blanket statement, or of course are young and young.

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I take no issue with them saying young.

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That's fine.

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Because for me, I'm not a young person.

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I'm not a young person.

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Fine, because from a biological point of view, we are the most fantastically

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malleable and shapeable mentally and anatomically as will ever be when we are

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young.

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It's just that implication that keeps coming with it.

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You know, nowadays people use it more to mean gullible, foolhardy, easy to be

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tricked. And it comes with this aftertaste of this, this person's kind

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of a little bit untrustworthy with their own lives and decisions.

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You know, they're not good for themselves.

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You know, I've been asked before why I tend to gravitate towards a younger

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crowd when it comes to social hangouts.

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And that's because they are still in that phase where they're impressionable

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in the best sense of the word.

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So from there, let's say you're not impressionable.

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You know, if you aren't impressionable, I'm not going to go after you here.

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But I do, I do want to ask you to take just a moment and ask yourself and

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answer yourself honestly, because you know, you've had a hard day.

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You deserve an honest answer.

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Ask yourself why you're not impressionable.

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I mean, go ahead.

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Leaving this space open for you to do that. Okay.

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And then I would point to one specific thing about our thinking influences.

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And I want you to tell me if this lines up in your own life.

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We talked about predictability.

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And how we crave it, structure our lives with it, because we can't see

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past our position in time, right?

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Everything ahead of us is unknown.

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Well, to get along in that predictable lifestyle requires building

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systems for everything, because that's one of the glorious aspects of a system.

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It brings order out of chaos.

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The systems and the patterns they form are the core of predictability building.

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I mean, you have to have it in loads in order to obtain predictability.

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And why is predictability so important to so many of us?

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Well, that's because the main component of all fear is the unknown.

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We can't see ahead of our positions on the sculpture that is our timeline.

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We are stuck in that ever progressing present and we can't know ahead of time

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what may happen.

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So we create systems to make it guessable.

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It's not exactly like knowing, but it's enough to take that screaming,

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shrieking fear down to a gravelly grumble.

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So as you may have guessed, there is a

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major pitfall to this behavior, but there's more than one, obviously.

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But I want to make sure the point of finger right in that one's face.

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System building has made us a bit emotionally lazy, I guess.

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I'm not really sure if there's a good phrase for that, but we began

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automating everything that we could.

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Gaining efficiency and minimizing our efforts spent pacifying that ever

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present threatening fear that could wake up any moment now.

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And a really important one, perhaps the most important thing that we automate.

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Was emotional responses.

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And our decision making.

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Now I feel as if I've talked plenty enough today about plenty enough that

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you don't need me to explain why the automation and depersonalization of

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your decision making when it deals with other people can be so important.

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And depersonalization of your decision making when it deals with other people

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can be a very, very bad thing.

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So instead I'll defer you to an old adage.

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I remember hearing once that people that push to better themselves,

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they become one of two types.

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The tiger or the dragon.

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You can become the tiger.

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The tiger is very powerful.

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It's full of raw power and frosty and lightning slick quick movements,

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as is the dragon.

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But there's a very distinct difference and it isn't the tiger's inability

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to shoot fire from its mouth.

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Unless of course it's the one being ridden by a shirtless,

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muscled Tony Danza across an neon 80s techno field as featured on the side

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of my Aunt Nancy's deep purple Estra van.

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Now the big difference between the tiger and the dragon is that the tiger

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only reacts.

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If the tiger is hungry, it hunts and it kills.

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It's every move, it's every decision is reactionary.

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But the dragon acts.

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It's not a slave to its environment.

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The dragon always has a choice.

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The tiger, none.

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And I see so many people out there that have designed automatic decision

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making for their lives, allowing these automations to take control

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of their lives.

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These decisions and outcomes aren't that person.

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It's not them, not really.

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It's a design that you made or very probably copied and one that gets rid

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of true decision making in favor of creating a system that'll handle all

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your reactions for you, AKA the tiger.

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And my explanation to them is this.

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If you're focused in, we already talked about what you leave behind and what

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stays growing out in the statue, right?

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It's being made after you pass.

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These things that you're leaving with your reactionary, they continue

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outward after you're gone.

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When your decisions and your output is purely reactionary, you're

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the one that's making the decisions.

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It's not you.

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I would barter that most of the most important decisions we make in this

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life are emotionally based.

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They have an emotional component to them.

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They have a compassion component to them.

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And every time you've chosen to be compassionate in this life, was it

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something that was rational to you that you logic out that I should do this

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as a result of this or this?

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If it was, okay, awesome.

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Some good got done, but it didn't leave you with the same feeling as when you

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just did it because that part of you said, yeah, we should help that person.

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And when you automate these systems, you're doing basically predictive

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thinking, looking ahead and saying, okay, well, this has worked so far.

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And you know, this is the pattern.

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So let's assume this pattern's in play and let's go ahead and make this the

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recommendation for the decision that we make in situations where this occurs.

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We do that.

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We take away that emotional component.

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It's left to pure thought, which thought has its merits.

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But in the face of when you feel, when it comes to helping someone or doing the

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right thing by someone or just making somebody stay patterned, then do we do

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it because it rationally makes sense?

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Or do we do it because we feel that it would be better if we did?

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And how crucial is that emotional component of who you are?

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So if you don't, then you're not leaving you behind, not really.

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You're leaving behind decisions made from a system.

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Give this world you in its entirety, please.

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And not the person shackled to the path of the events of what's convenient to

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organize.

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Give this world the decisions that you make while you build this sculpture.

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Don't let your brain be trained in reactionary thinking.

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Learn to act.

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Don't be the result of the way you live.

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Be the stimulus.

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Lead or follow willingly and knowledgeably rather than being lent.

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Let spark as inspiration to others and let them see what caring about how you

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affect others looks like.

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And if you lead, well then flare out throughout the statue.

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Come flare with us, yeah?

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We've got a statue to build.

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Okay, so I'm going to end today's show here and I'll leave you with a personal note about

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me.

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I spent so much of my life having to learn how to be me.

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And I know that everybody does, but for me, it took so much time because a lot of the

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things that people kind of learn naturally, I had to make sense of them in order to learn

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them.

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And that includes a lot of facial expression.

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I'm pretty sure I've mentioned on the show that I'm on the spectrum.

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I'm considered very high functioning.

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But it's one of those, for me, it's normalcy.

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That's what I am.

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You know, I can't see the world through somebody else's eyes.

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I can learn from them, but I can't see it through their eyes.

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So that's my base level.

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And there was this period of time in my life where I had to objectively learn about and

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then study my own usage of standard facial expressions.

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And I got pretty good at them because I was objectively thinking about doing them, engaging

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reactions objectively through my own study.

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But the biggest one would have to be learning how to care about other people, you know,

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the people that I didn't know and some that I did.

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You have to understand when I say I had to learn these things, I had to understand them

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first.

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For them to get implemented into my life, it had to make sense.

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That's not to say I didn't love people.

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I just, I didn't understand it, which made it a point of contention.

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Something that was constantly being analyzed anytime it came up.

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I didn't understand it enough to put it on involuntary status.

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It was always observed.

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It was always critically thought after.

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And I think this had a big hand to play in why I recognized all of these concepts when

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I saw them.

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I believe it was because I studied all of these emotions and all of these more ethereal

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concepts such as the origin of emotions objectively.

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I just didn't know how they all linked together and how much each part of it meant.

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It's not totally surprising that I became much more generous and a kinder person as

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a result of these understandings.

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Once I understood all of the stuff that I've taught you about, it was easy because it made

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sense to me.

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So why do I bring that up?

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Well, it's, I wanted to share it with you because looking back, I feel like I was Pinocchio

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except I didn't realize I was the wooden boy.

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I didn't understand real happiness.

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I didn't understand how to care about people.

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I cared about people and I loved them, but my love was very different than it is now.

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But finally, yeah, now I'm a real boy.

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And I'm aware of what it feels like to be a real boy and be able to understand why.

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That is just fantastic.

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If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, a good way to fake it until you make

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it is to be good to them.

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Be good for them.

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You're going to be fantastic.

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I'm WS Walker.

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You're the fantastic you.

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Be sweet.

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Computer, lights out.

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Okay.

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Thank you.

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I don't know if you guys have one of these.

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I've got a Alexa that was given to me by my brother, which is such an amazing like just

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he was like, I'm done with it.

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But it has been such a nice addition anyways.

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But I found that there is a couple of like little key phrases you can throw out, mostly

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nerdy stuff like I don't know if we have any Star Trek fans, but computer.

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T O gray hot.

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Unable to comply.

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There's our offline.

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I love that.

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Let's see what else we got.

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Oh, there's a computer.

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I've got a bad feeling about this.

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Remember, the force will be with you always.

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Very nice.

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Oh, and computer.

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I am your father.

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No, that's not true.

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That's impossible.

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That's impossible.

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Turn on 이렇게 opt�