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Hey guys, welcome back to Could Help.

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It's been a minute and the Laughing Matters also kind of been a minute.

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Thanks to T for going, Hey, you need to make another video.

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It's like, I've been so focused on the podcast, man.

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I haven't done a video.

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How long has it been since I've done a video?

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Oh no, wait a second.

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I'm hoping for under a year.

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I'm not even in my top searches anymore.

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Oh no.

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Seven months ago.

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Apologies.

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Anywho had a bunch of stuff I wanted to share with you guys and figured,

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let's just get right into it.

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And one of the things I think we're going to cover today is going to be customer

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service.

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Now, I don't know if you work a job like I do actually.

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I don't know if you work a job, but if you work a job and you deal with customers,

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this, Oh, this could help.

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This is Will's guide to customer service.

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Now, one of the, Oh, wow.

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Okay.

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Let's jump.

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Sorry.

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I had like six pieces of advice run through my head at the same time.

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Let's start with the little story about something that happened at a photo lab

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that I was working at.

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I had this woman come in.

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We were two or three minutes before closing and I'd already shut down the

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printers.

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I'd already shut like everything was shut down.

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Like we were going through our closing checklist and she had an important event

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tomorrow that she needed to get these wedding photos printed for.

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And she was, I mean, she came in hot and huffy and just, just, just nasty to me

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the entire time.

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And I'm sitting, I'm sitting there going, I don't know, man, let me, let me just

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do what I can.

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Let's just, let's just do what we can.

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And so I booted up the printers, which took about, I don't know, like 15, 20

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minutes, cause it has to go through like the self-cleaning process and the idea

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and I noticed that she, she was trying to get copyrighted photos and I was like,

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do you have the copyright notice?

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And she said she had it on her phone.

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I was like, I have to have a printed copy of it.

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So the compromise that I made was to have her email it to us.

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We printed it off on photo paper.

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That was a copyright notice and that was used for the copyright permission so

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that she could print this legally.

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Cause we couldn't print it legally if it didn't have it.

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No, no.

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So anyways, I went through the step-by-step with her.

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I even showed her how to eat, how to order prints and everything so that we

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could get it done for real quick.

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And we got it all taken care of and she would, again, just nasty throughout

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the entire experience.

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And then once she had the photos in her hand, she, she just, she stopped and

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she, she was just holding them in front of her like that.

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And she goes, my husband just died and I'm having a really hard time with it.

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The funeral's tomorrow.

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These are for that.

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I'm sorry.

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I acted like that.

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And I obviously, I had an emotional reaction to it.

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But I was, I was so glad that I'd chosen that Avenue because most of them won't

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tell you that most of them won't tell you when they're going through something.

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Most of them.

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Well, we're trying to bottle it.

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We're trying to bottle it and let off a little pressure on some of the less

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fortunate workers in the customer service industry or to let it out where we can.

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But with all this bottling of it, we don't really explain ourselves to people

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that we treat horribly as a result of how we're feeling.

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So yes, it absolutely comes down to you never know what somebody else is going

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through, you know, everybody else is fighting a battle that you have, you

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know, nothing about today.

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We're going to talk about irate people.

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Now I did quite a long stent doing emergency dispense recently.

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And I would deal with the customer right after they'd had their incident,

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whatever it was, I had to deal with a lot of people that were in the middle

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of it and were afraid and were angry.

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And they, they like to put it out on you when dealing with an irate

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caller or customer.

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One of the most useful tricks that I've found seems to be almost counterproductive.

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So frequently we're told that you're here to listen to them, you know, to let

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them get it out, but not take it personally and to not show irritation with them.

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These are great pieces of advice, except for the last one, maybe the last two.

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You see, so often they aren't just looking for validation.

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I mean, I suppose in some of what we're about to discuss, there is that

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validation that we're going to be talking about.

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Because anger spools them up and continues spooling.

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And if given the proper circumstances will unleash the horde.

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And when you're angry, you tend to do one of three things.

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You damp it down until you can deal with it later.

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You keep ramping it up until you explode or you manage to redirect

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it at somebody else or something else.

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And 99.9% of people are angry.

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They're angry at something else and 99.9% of cases that I rate

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caller or customer is not.

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I rate with you coming in there.

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I rate with their situation.

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They're deflecting it onto you because you are tangible.

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You can be yelled at and you can be made to feel for them.

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If it bleeds, we can kill it.

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To react to their situation, whereas their situation not so much.

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It's actually kind of counterproductive.

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So it can't validate their anger through their anger getting to

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the situation and causing it discomfort.

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So it falls upon you as the vessel for the situation.

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And I say if you truly want to bring somebody back down from that,

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it becomes so much easier.

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If you give them a bit of what they want, you know, I'm not saying

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that you should tell them to shut up or call them this or that.

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I'm saying that let a little bit of that agitation creep into your

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smile or into the edges of your voice and you know, take pauses

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before speaking and allow them to see that they are putting you

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in this unpleasant situation and that you are not having a good

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time at all with it, but keep it there.

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You know, don't escalate from there.

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Do what you can to keep them at that point where they're speaking

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down to you, but not where they're abusing you.

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If they move to abusiveness, simply go silent and unresponsive.

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We want them to be allowed to get a little victory for their

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anger, but not in an extreme expense.

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And please believe me, I get the concept the whole aversion to

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this on the grounds of not wanting to reinforce this behavior

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in them and teaching them further that they can get what they

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want by acting like this.

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But I have a slightly modified view of this because taking the

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other direction on this that would be treating the symptoms

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instead of the cause.

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Why is it that they're behaving in this manner?

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And most likely they are in some kind of emotional turmoil as

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a result of whatever their current problem may be, or maybe

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it's a lack of love in their life or having been betrayed

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or treated poorly in their life.

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There's something that isn't you that's causing them to turn

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into this uglier version of themselves and you, well, you

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have this opportunity to remind them that, oh, there's those

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of us out there that aren't going to hurt or betray you and

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that are receptive to their plight and one more reason in

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their life and their experience that shapes their own future

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decisions.

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One more great example of how good it is when we, you know,

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are there for each other when we are that for others. Let them

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blow it all out.

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It'll be up to your discretion whether or not that kind of

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blow-up can be avoided and sometimes it's somebody who cannot

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de-escalate until they've blown a good chunk of it out.

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But once they have and you're remember you're remaining

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silent.

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They tend to say one or two things depending on you know,

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if this is over the phone or if they're in person if they're

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in person, they'll frequently be a pause a little bit before

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they say, are you even listening or do you know something

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that effect or if they're over the phone, it's typically a

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longer pause and you'll hear them say, are you still there?

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Now, admittedly this works a lot better over the phone because

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you can mute out and they aren't totally certain that you

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are still there.

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I tend to give them a good two to three seconds before answering

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which is just long enough for them to pontificate on the

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situation if I had abandoned them or examine on why it is

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that someone would hang up on them and maybe are they acting

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just still anyways, so then I take a audible breath and say

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these magic words in this order too.

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I am still here, but I need you to understand that I am going

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to do everything in my power to help you.

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That is my entire purpose on this call, but I cannot do that

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if it is you versus me.

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It has to be you and me versus the problem.

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Okay.

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Now throughout that statement, my voice is deescalating but

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still firm and confident at the end with the okay, you know,

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okay, it's gentle.

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Now, why I've never actually had this fail to work.

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I do need to warn you that it is extremely unlikely that

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you will get them to respond with okay.

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The most common answer I get is, well, what do you need?

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Oh, and you're going to hear some venom and they're going

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to put some stank on it.

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But from that point forward, every single customer I've

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used this with has stopped being abusive and stop directing

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their anger towards me and that makes all the difference.

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You know, they are more of a reluctant ally, I guess, but

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if you're kind to them and you genuinely do what you can

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to help them from there by the end while they may still

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have agitations with the situation, you can't always fix

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that and you can't always fix their problem.

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But you are now the person that tried to help them and

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as a bonus, whichever company you represent in that interaction

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gets points for being, you know, trying to help too.

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Typically after I give this phrase, I do the absolute shortest

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recap that I can, but I always find a way to work in the

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standout worst parts of their plight.

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You know, it's something like now you've been in an accident.

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Your front wheel came off.

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You can't move the vehicle under its own power.

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You're relatively safe place out of traffic, but the vehicle

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is not and you need this all done very quickly as soon

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as possible because you have to pick up your dog from school.

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Okay, so from here, I'm only going to ask you the absolute

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essentials that I have to have in order to get this done

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for you.

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So let's try to keep the answers short form as well to

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keep this moving as quick as we can get it going get you

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out of the situation.

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That's a win for both of us.

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Yeah, that yeah at the end.

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Almost universally you get a yeah, and then I move straight

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to the next question that I need.

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Oh, and here's another little bonus for you.

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So I tend to close my calls with a very specific phrasing

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that passed off to a few people that I really like.

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I do the branding for whatever it is.

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Thank you for calling so-and-so, but I kind of rushed through

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that a slow down for the more important of the three statements.

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Now, I'm going to ask you to listen very carefully to the

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way that I space it out because there's this very deliberate

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purpose to the way it's spaced out.

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All right, here we go.

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Well, hey, I just wanted to say thank you so much for giving

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us a call at blank today and letting us know that was happening.

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And let's just let's just hope the rest of your week goes a

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bit smoother from here.

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You know, it sounds like it's been rough.

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I really love this closer because it pushes aside the corporate

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perception of the call.

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It speeds up through the almost annoying having to say the

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branding at the end and has this human to human interaction

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step out in front of it at the end of the conversation and

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roughly, I don't know, 75 80% of how you feel about somebody

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or a situation with someone is in the in the last interactions

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with them and how that made you feel and speeds up through the

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almost annoyance of having to say the branding at the end and

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then has a human to human interaction that steps out in front

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of it.

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Not only that, but it's it seems to give them permission.

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I think this is the best wording I can get for this, but it

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gives them permission to laugh about their situation.

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There's only a few times out of the thousands of times I've

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used this closer that I didn't hear some kind of laugh or

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obvious grin in their voice when they said their last words

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on the line with me.

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And one of the things that sells it so hard as a human

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interaction is giving that pause before the word smoother.

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It shows that you're not just reading from a script, but

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searching for the right word, even though you and I both

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know that you're not.

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It also works to do that double take at the beginning of the

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whole like and let's just let's just hope that you know, like

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that that helps a lot, but putting that little bit of

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emphasis on smoother and elongating it a bit and letting

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it saturate them.

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Same money feet also do not worry.

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It's not disingenuous.

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Sure.

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You are saying something that you had already known you

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are going to say that's already scripted out, but it's

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not disingenuous.

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If you mean it, that's the trick.

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You allow yourself to be opened up to their plight.

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Imagine how much it would suck to deal with this problem

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that they're dealing with.

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Imagine this was your problem and remove them from the

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situation entirely.

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One of the biggest issues people have with empathy and

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this is true is how the person that you're supposed to have

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empathy for is reacting and behaving in the situation.

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It gets in the way.

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You don't need that part.

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You don't have to have that as a factor.

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I'm giving you permission to get rid of that as a factor

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because you can get around that whole issue by imagining

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that you are having the problem yourself and I'm telling

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you it works like gangbusters.

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Oh, your your sense of empathy and added bonus to it all.

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One more piece of evidence for them to be good to each

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other to be good for each other.

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And if it makes a strong enough impression, they're going

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to be fantastic.

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I'm will help.

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You're the fantastic you.

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Sweet.