WEBVTT 00:00:01.260 --> 00:00:03.399 Hello, my name is Austin Shadle, and welcome 00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:05.700 back to the Life Endurance Podcast, where we 00:00:05.700 --> 00:00:07.900 explore methods of unlocking your true potential 00:00:07.900 --> 00:00:10.320 in the greatest endurance race we all partake 00:00:10.320 --> 00:00:13.779 in, life. Joining me today is Phoenix Rising. 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:19.339 He is a Matrix Hacker Mindset Coach. We met just 00:00:19.339 --> 00:00:22.100 earlier this week at a business event. I thought 00:00:22.100 --> 00:00:24.620 you had a really interesting story and thought 00:00:24.620 --> 00:00:27.440 that your work really relates a lot to this podcast, 00:00:27.500 --> 00:00:30.670 so I appreciate you being on today. Yeah, thanks 00:00:30.670 --> 00:00:33.130 for having me, Austin. Glad to be here. Maybe 00:00:33.130 --> 00:00:37.469 just a quick summary of what it is that you do. 00:00:37.609 --> 00:00:41.890 Kick it off there. Great. Yeah, so I help people 00:00:41.890 --> 00:00:47.229 in really big ways. I call myself a mental reprogrammer, 00:00:47.229 --> 00:00:50.469 really a matrix hacker, because once you realize 00:00:50.469 --> 00:00:54.299 that we live very much... in a simulated world 00:00:54.299 --> 00:00:57.840 where there's computer code behind everything 00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:02.000 and your mind works like a computer as well then 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:05.560 you can influence computer code to get the things 00:01:05.560 --> 00:01:08.599 you want in life and that's what i really do 00:01:08.599 --> 00:01:10.140 is i help people get the things they want in 00:01:10.140 --> 00:01:13.000 life and oftentimes people have been trying for 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:16.920 decades to get something that they want or overcome 00:01:16.920 --> 00:01:20.780 a problem that has just been a pattern For a 00:01:20.780 --> 00:01:22.939 very long time and in a very short period of 00:01:22.939 --> 00:01:26.560 time, I'm able to help people resolve that. So 00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:29.900 I use different tools. I use hypnosis. I use 00:01:29.900 --> 00:01:32.140 neurolinguistic programming, timeline therapy, 00:01:32.439 --> 00:01:35.879 parts integration, and some other tools. So I 00:01:35.879 --> 00:01:39.799 do some energy work and some quantum shifting 00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:42.659 work. So that's kind of a general summary of 00:01:42.659 --> 00:01:45.540 what I do. Yeah, yeah, lots. We were talking 00:01:45.540 --> 00:01:47.959 a bit about that and lots of, honestly, I think, 00:01:47.980 --> 00:01:51.659 fascinating topics. However you view the world, 00:01:51.780 --> 00:01:54.359 I think there's a lot of different ways and tools 00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:58.000 to get to the results you want. And kind of thinking 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:01.420 of everything like coding definitely appeals 00:02:01.420 --> 00:02:03.120 to me. You know, the engineering background, 00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:07.219 very kind of objective thinker. So I'm definitely 00:02:07.219 --> 00:02:11.219 interested to dig into that. And also the hypnosis 00:02:11.219 --> 00:02:14.389 item. I've always been... interested in that 00:02:14.389 --> 00:02:16.849 you know my only my only real exposure is the 00:02:16.849 --> 00:02:19.090 you know people that come to parties and make 00:02:19.090 --> 00:02:22.030 people do goofy things but i've also heard lots 00:02:22.030 --> 00:02:24.009 about how you know it can really help people 00:02:24.009 --> 00:02:26.849 and really it makes sense in my head i mean if 00:02:26.849 --> 00:02:28.990 you if you you can get somebody to walk around 00:02:28.990 --> 00:02:32.330 quacking like a duck and seeming to fully believe 00:02:32.330 --> 00:02:36.110 that then that's obviously getting into some 00:02:36.110 --> 00:02:38.569 neural pathways whatever you want to call it 00:02:38.569 --> 00:02:41.969 and it can definitely Be a form of a tool, so 00:02:41.969 --> 00:02:46.349 excited to dig into how you learned and utilized 00:02:46.349 --> 00:02:50.550 that to help others. Maybe before that, what 00:02:50.550 --> 00:02:56.330 brought you into this path? That's a deep, long 00:02:56.330 --> 00:02:59.509 background question there. Yeah, I mean, do you 00:02:59.509 --> 00:03:02.250 want the long story that I shared with you briefly 00:03:02.250 --> 00:03:04.750 the other day, or do you want the shorter one? 00:03:04.889 --> 00:03:06.729 It doesn't matter. Let's dig into it. We got 00:03:06.729 --> 00:03:09.389 time, and I think stories have a lot of power 00:03:09.389 --> 00:03:14.370 behind them. Yeah, so, you know, it was out of 00:03:14.370 --> 00:03:19.590 necessity. And I hit rock bottom at the age of 00:03:19.590 --> 00:03:23.449 29. I was an alcoholic. I was an alcoholic for 00:03:23.449 --> 00:03:28.169 a decade. I had quit shortly. I dropped out of 00:03:28.169 --> 00:03:32.289 college and quit shortly there for a year and 00:03:32.289 --> 00:03:34.129 a half, but then I bounced back into it. But 00:03:34.129 --> 00:03:36.949 alcohol was like my best friend. So it helped 00:03:36.949 --> 00:03:41.689 me deal with my emotions. helped me be the life 00:03:41.689 --> 00:03:43.969 of the party, and I couldn't see my life without 00:03:43.969 --> 00:03:47.270 it. But after a while, it became a real problem. 00:03:47.370 --> 00:03:51.030 I didn't get joy out of it. And then from that 00:03:51.030 --> 00:03:53.830 place, I really didn't think I was going to be 00:03:53.830 --> 00:03:57.129 here much longer. And a psychic reading saved 00:03:57.129 --> 00:03:59.569 my life, believe it or not. And that gave me 00:03:59.569 --> 00:04:03.599 the will to stick around. gave me all these things 00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:06.580 in my future to look forward to. And I got excited 00:04:06.580 --> 00:04:08.900 and I was like, okay, I'll move forward. And 00:04:08.900 --> 00:04:11.680 it was kind of a slow progression, but I ended 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:18.959 up quitting smoking cigarettes to start. My friend 00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:22.529 had quit smoking cigarettes. one session some 00:04:22.529 --> 00:04:24.670 guy's living room in western Massachusetts and 00:04:24.670 --> 00:04:27.569 hypnosis is not a popular thing in western Massachusetts 00:04:27.569 --> 00:04:32.170 in a lot of pockets of the world hypnosis is 00:04:32.170 --> 00:04:35.709 not very popular And yeah, one session I quit 00:04:35.709 --> 00:04:37.529 smoking. And then when I was ready to quit drinking 00:04:37.529 --> 00:04:40.550 about two years after that, I did one session 00:04:40.550 --> 00:04:42.990 of hypnosis. I went back to the same guy and 00:04:42.990 --> 00:04:45.149 I quit drinking. And that was probably the most 00:04:45.149 --> 00:04:47.850 important decision in my life because alcohol 00:04:47.850 --> 00:04:50.649 created so many problems, so many damn problems. 00:04:50.990 --> 00:04:54.470 So it felt really good and my life improved. 00:04:54.470 --> 00:04:58.740 And then eventually. I still felt stuck. I still 00:04:58.740 --> 00:05:02.040 felt this social anxiety. I still felt like I 00:05:02.040 --> 00:05:04.060 was so constrained in so many different areas. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:07.579 I had low self -esteem. And I ended up doing 00:05:07.579 --> 00:05:11.300 a personal development seminar probably three 00:05:11.300 --> 00:05:13.740 or four years after I quit drinking. It was four 00:05:13.740 --> 00:05:17.300 years. And that created a huge shift where I 00:05:17.300 --> 00:05:20.439 bought a van. I rescued a dog. I quit my job. 00:05:20.519 --> 00:05:23.459 I traveled the country. And I was gonna move 00:05:23.459 --> 00:05:26.000 to Los Angeles to become a movie star. That was 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:29.680 my my goal and I was in LA for four days and 00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:32.740 I absolutely hated it it was just anxiety the 00:05:32.740 --> 00:05:35.480 whole time it felt like There's just too many 00:05:35.480 --> 00:05:39.100 people and I decided to go north on the Pacific 00:05:39.100 --> 00:05:41.379 Coast Highway Had a little bit of a panic attack 00:05:41.379 --> 00:05:43.860 because I was like that was my plan I really 00:05:43.860 --> 00:05:45.500 hope I don't have to go back to Massachusetts 00:05:45.500 --> 00:05:49.300 with my tail between my legs And but I was like, 00:05:49.300 --> 00:05:50.879 nope, you don't have anywhere you need to be. 00:05:50.939 --> 00:05:53.439 So I calmed down. And then the next day, this 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:56.379 idea popped in my head to see a hypnotist in 00:05:56.379 --> 00:05:58.980 Seattle. And it was a really great experience. 00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:03.379 And then she gave me like, if you ever want to 00:06:03.379 --> 00:06:05.379 do this, this is the school to go to. And she 00:06:05.379 --> 00:06:07.680 wrote it down on a piece of paper I put in my 00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:10.319 pocket. Didn't want to become a hypnotist. Every 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:12.759 hypnotist I ever met was weird. Like, this is 00:06:12.759 --> 00:06:16.300 not something I want to do. And eventually I 00:06:16.300 --> 00:06:19.120 did a sublet in Denver for five weeks because 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:20.620 I didn't want to sleep in my van anymore. And 00:06:20.620 --> 00:06:24.259 I found that piece of paper and ended up calling 00:06:24.259 --> 00:06:26.600 the schools all over my head. I had no idea what 00:06:26.600 --> 00:06:29.199 they were talking about. And yet I still went 00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:31.860 there because the semester started September 00:06:31.860 --> 00:06:35.560 9th and my sublet ended September 7th. So I took 00:06:35.560 --> 00:06:37.959 it as a sign. I went down there, and it was one 00:06:37.959 --> 00:06:41.699 of the best experiences of my life. And at that 00:06:41.699 --> 00:06:44.800 hypnosis school, I said to myself, this is what 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.300 everybody needs to learn. If everybody knew how 00:06:47.300 --> 00:06:50.139 their mind works, it'd be a complete game changer, 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:52.680 truly. So that's kind of the story of how I got 00:06:52.680 --> 00:06:56.839 into hypnosis. Yeah, fascinating. And as you 00:06:56.839 --> 00:06:59.019 were telling me that story, everybody has their 00:06:59.019 --> 00:07:01.540 own different problems, but I feel like... sometimes 00:07:01.540 --> 00:07:04.439 the sources and anxieties are kind of the same. 00:07:04.560 --> 00:07:08.600 And, uh, I'm actually, I'm 29 right now and, 00:07:08.680 --> 00:07:10.379 you know, hitting, hitting that, seeing that 00:07:10.379 --> 00:07:13.300 30 coming over the horizon. And, you know, you 00:07:13.300 --> 00:07:16.139 start thinking about your, your path in life 00:07:16.139 --> 00:07:19.420 and, you know, really start to analyze the, the 00:07:19.420 --> 00:07:22.600 things that hold you back. Um, you know, unfortunately 00:07:22.600 --> 00:07:25.519 alcohol and things like that aren't, aren't my 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:28.120 cup of tea, but, you know, certainly, certainly 00:07:28.120 --> 00:07:33.329 have my own, uh, uh, Things hold me back. Let's 00:07:33.329 --> 00:07:36.129 get into that, if you don't mind. If I just ask 00:07:36.129 --> 00:07:38.449 you that question, what's holding you back? What 00:07:38.449 --> 00:07:40.129 comes up? Because we have all the answers within 00:07:40.129 --> 00:07:43.170 us. I'm just curious. Questions are powerful. 00:07:43.389 --> 00:07:46.970 So what is holding you back, you feel? Definitely 00:07:46.970 --> 00:07:52.750 the classic imposter syndrome. Just had a lot 00:07:52.750 --> 00:07:55.050 of, I don't know, kind of ups and downs. Things 00:07:55.050 --> 00:08:01.660 don't go quite as you expect. Trying to, you 00:08:01.660 --> 00:08:05.139 know, just make sense of all of it. Spent a lot 00:08:05.139 --> 00:08:08.600 of time, really spent a lot of time alone. You 00:08:08.600 --> 00:08:11.040 know, school, college was a pretty lonely time 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:14.500 for me. Right out of that, worked a really intense 00:08:14.500 --> 00:08:17.759 job. Basically, I was working around the clock 00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:21.959 for a couple of years. Then COVID hit, you know, 00:08:21.959 --> 00:08:24.040 so even when I had time to, you know, get to 00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:25.720 know people, the world just kind of shut down. 00:08:26.980 --> 00:08:30.579 Then I... Moved to Colorado. That was a really 00:08:30.579 --> 00:08:33.820 positive change for me. Getting out of Iowa, 00:08:34.039 --> 00:08:36.559 a place that just didn't really, really suit 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:38.200 me. I love being in the mountains and stuff. 00:08:38.340 --> 00:08:41.399 And now I'd say I'd have fun for a couple of 00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:44.440 years, which I think was much needed after about 00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:48.200 a decade of just school and work. But now I'm 00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:51.659 kind of getting back to looking more to the future 00:08:51.659 --> 00:08:57.379 and to get out of that past mindset. uh like 00:08:57.379 --> 00:09:00.860 you're saying you know past failures or where 00:09:00.860 --> 00:09:03.960 maybe i didn't live up to my potential um so 00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:06.879 yeah really it's gonna be i think it's gonna 00:09:06.879 --> 00:09:09.399 be an interesting year um you know i try not 00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:13.419 to put such an emphasis on oh it's january 1st 00:09:13.419 --> 00:09:15.980 you know it's it's really just another day but 00:09:15.980 --> 00:09:19.399 yeah a lot to think a lot to come this year a 00:09:19.399 --> 00:09:24.480 lot of a lot of things to figure out Yeah, I 00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:27.419 think the 20s are the time of figuring stuff 00:09:27.419 --> 00:09:30.299 out. And I'll tell you, there's a little bit 00:09:30.299 --> 00:09:34.580 of a kind of a paradigm that's very common is 00:09:34.580 --> 00:09:36.740 that for men, especially around the age of 35, 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:40.399 is when you really start paving your own path. 00:09:40.600 --> 00:09:42.820 And before that, you're really just like trial 00:09:42.820 --> 00:09:45.740 and error and just trying to like. see what you 00:09:45.740 --> 00:09:47.940 like, what you dislike. A lot of people that 00:09:47.940 --> 00:09:52.539 end up in the corporate world, they'll do that 00:09:52.539 --> 00:09:54.679 until about the age of 35, and then they'll really 00:09:54.679 --> 00:09:56.539 start questioning. It's like, why am I doing 00:09:56.539 --> 00:10:00.600 this? This is not giving me the joy that I really 00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:04.580 was looking for. So then you're like, that's 00:10:04.580 --> 00:10:07.080 when you really start to question, what do I 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:09.399 want to do? And the sooner that you can ask that 00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:12.879 question, I think it's really powerful in doing 00:10:12.879 --> 00:10:16.019 those thought experiments. the thing that I find 00:10:16.019 --> 00:10:18.320 that is really missing is that people don't really 00:10:18.320 --> 00:10:20.940 know who they are. They don't really know what 00:10:20.940 --> 00:10:24.860 they enjoy to do. Like a question that really 00:10:24.860 --> 00:10:28.820 will tell you a lot is the question, like if 00:10:28.820 --> 00:10:30.340 you could do something every day for the rest 00:10:30.340 --> 00:10:32.399 of your life and just give you great joy, what 00:10:32.399 --> 00:10:35.830 would it be? I could guess just knowing you a 00:10:35.830 --> 00:10:37.610 little bit, you might say running, but I'm curious 00:10:37.610 --> 00:10:40.029 to know if there'd be something else. Like if 00:10:40.029 --> 00:10:41.929 you could do something every day for the rest 00:10:41.929 --> 00:10:44.289 of your life that you would just love, what would 00:10:44.289 --> 00:10:49.029 it be? Yeah. I mean, yeah, running, running and 00:10:49.029 --> 00:10:50.730 spending time in the mountains is certainly up 00:10:50.730 --> 00:10:55.129 there. Um, but I also, I'm, I'm very interested 00:10:55.129 --> 00:11:00.730 in business kind of business operations and it's, 00:11:00.750 --> 00:11:02.830 uh, it's something I've been trying to get back 00:11:02.830 --> 00:11:06.960 into and remember what it is that I'm so passionate 00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:10.779 about that. And, you know, obviously being interested 00:11:10.779 --> 00:11:12.980 in business is probably a little safer bet in 00:11:12.980 --> 00:11:15.500 terms of, you know, trying to make a career and 00:11:15.500 --> 00:11:18.320 provide for, you know, say a future family than, 00:11:18.460 --> 00:11:22.679 you know, just ultra running. Yeah, really think 00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:25.720 like you just mentioned the whole trying to remember 00:11:25.720 --> 00:11:28.539 or figure out who you really are or remember 00:11:28.539 --> 00:11:31.559 who you are. I think that's something that I've 00:11:31.559 --> 00:11:35.120 kind of. lost the last couple years um took a 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:38.720 year to try to go out on my own uh figure out 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:40.659 hey is there something i can do on my own for 00:11:40.659 --> 00:11:44.299 business uh kind of fell flat on my face and 00:11:44.299 --> 00:11:46.220 then you know like i said spent a couple years 00:11:46.220 --> 00:11:49.759 just enjoying life uh you know now that i had 00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:53.759 access to the mountains and um you know kind 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:56.820 of good and bad outcome of that you know i enjoyed 00:11:56.820 --> 00:12:00.720 life for a while but i also think i kind of lost 00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:04.600 some parts of myself along the way so this year's 00:12:04.600 --> 00:12:07.860 really gonna be about kind of figuring out again 00:12:07.860 --> 00:12:12.120 who i am yeah that kind of path path forward 00:12:12.120 --> 00:12:14.860 and that's you know i think a lot of it you know 00:12:14.860 --> 00:12:17.220 need to take my own own advice that i put on 00:12:17.220 --> 00:12:21.299 this podcast but always interested in how to 00:12:21.299 --> 00:12:25.059 break that down and how to how to figure out 00:12:25.059 --> 00:12:28.700 what your your purpose and um the things that 00:12:28.700 --> 00:12:32.179 you should be spending your time and energy and 00:12:32.179 --> 00:12:36.159 effort on. So maybe ask you, what are those kind 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:40.039 of first steps that you run people through to 00:12:40.039 --> 00:12:43.179 help them maybe go from that stage of feeling 00:12:43.179 --> 00:12:46.720 lost to starting to figure out maybe who they 00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:52.350 really are? Yeah, it's a great question. I think 00:12:52.350 --> 00:12:55.710 for me, a lot of what I do is I teach people. 00:12:55.870 --> 00:12:59.570 And the teaching and education process, it really 00:12:59.570 --> 00:13:03.269 helps reframe things, like things that was never 00:13:03.269 --> 00:13:09.649 taught to them. Once you really understand what 00:13:09.649 --> 00:13:13.350 drives human behavior and what forces are at 00:13:13.350 --> 00:13:15.789 play and what drivers are at play is really the 00:13:15.789 --> 00:13:19.429 greatest game changer because there's something 00:13:19.429 --> 00:13:22.679 that we have that's called the ego. And the ego, 00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:24.899 you know, there's a lot of different definitions 00:13:24.899 --> 00:13:27.159 for it. But a great way to think about the ego 00:13:27.159 --> 00:13:30.299 is the character that's created that helps you 00:13:30.299 --> 00:13:33.639 survive life. And the way that it creates that 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:37.179 character is around being accepted in your communities, 00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:41.039 right? So, you know, some people develop their 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:47.340 personality and certain strong suits to survive, 00:13:47.639 --> 00:13:51.440 you know, the people pleaser, the... Some people 00:13:51.440 --> 00:13:55.860 use comedy, you know, and they don't take life 00:13:55.860 --> 00:13:58.100 too seriously. So therefore they have to be the 00:13:58.100 --> 00:14:01.460 constant comedian, you know, but yet they don't 00:14:01.460 --> 00:14:04.500 really have the direction in their life. So the 00:14:04.500 --> 00:14:08.179 challenge is, is like if you grew up in a home 00:14:08.179 --> 00:14:12.500 where your parents are really being driven by 00:14:12.500 --> 00:14:16.120 their ego and survival, then you're going to 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:19.889 learn to model that too. That's really the battle 00:14:19.889 --> 00:14:23.269 that we're up against is the ego is doing things 00:14:23.269 --> 00:14:29.889 for inauthentic reasons. It's about having the 00:14:29.889 --> 00:14:32.590 social acceptance, right? Oh, let's get this 00:14:32.590 --> 00:14:35.129 really high paying job and then get this nice 00:14:35.129 --> 00:14:38.009 car and then buy this mansion and then buy a 00:14:38.009 --> 00:14:41.169 bigger house. And it's more about social status 00:14:41.169 --> 00:14:43.230 and moving up the social hierarchy. They want 00:14:43.230 --> 00:14:46.409 to be on the top of the pyramid. But the true 00:14:46.409 --> 00:14:49.110 authentic path is actually leading from your 00:14:49.110 --> 00:14:52.610 heart. So the ego wants things, your heart desires 00:14:52.610 --> 00:14:56.870 things. So it's the difference between the conditioning 00:14:56.870 --> 00:14:58.970 the ego has been programmed with and what you're 00:14:58.970 --> 00:15:01.549 supposed to do. Like anytime you use the word 00:15:01.549 --> 00:15:04.889 suppose, that's driven from the ego. right um 00:15:04.889 --> 00:15:06.590 you're not supposed to do anything you don't 00:15:06.590 --> 00:15:08.529 have to do anything if you want to do nothing 00:15:08.529 --> 00:15:11.210 that's okay but the ego freaks out because it's 00:15:11.210 --> 00:15:13.549 like well if everybody thinks i'm not doing anything 00:15:13.549 --> 00:15:15.370 then they'll think i'm lazy or i'm not holding 00:15:15.370 --> 00:15:18.309 my own or you know like whatever you know there's 00:15:18.309 --> 00:15:20.429 some people that go and live on an ashram and 00:15:20.429 --> 00:15:22.769 they meditate all the day like all day long right 00:15:22.769 --> 00:15:26.820 like no judgment there i think the the true path 00:15:26.820 --> 00:15:29.700 is is actually getting out of your head not letting 00:15:29.700 --> 00:15:32.639 the stories from the ego and what it's supposed 00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:35.879 to be to to disconnect from that knowing that's 00:15:35.879 --> 00:15:38.679 not the true self that is a machine a mechanism 00:15:38.679 --> 00:15:43.279 that that is connected to survival and and going 00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:46.600 into the heart and really being led by what excites 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:49.019 you what are you passionate about like if every 00:15:49.019 --> 00:15:50.919 day you woke up and you're like what is the thing 00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:54.059 that excites me most i promise you you will not 00:15:54.059 --> 00:15:57.940 be led astray. Like do that thing. And then also 00:15:57.940 --> 00:16:00.539 find a way to try to monetize it so that you 00:16:00.539 --> 00:16:03.740 can find abundance monetarily. You know, I knew 00:16:03.740 --> 00:16:06.179 someone that quit their job and they loved pickleball. 00:16:06.299 --> 00:16:09.159 They became a pickleball coach and they're really 00:16:09.159 --> 00:16:11.899 good at it. And, you know, and they created this 00:16:11.899 --> 00:16:14.419 course, this program, and it was $1 ,500. And, 00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:16.440 you know, they'd work with people for six months 00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:19.759 and not six months, six weeks. And they had a 00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:23.210 huge following. So. Like you can monetize anything. 00:16:23.330 --> 00:16:25.289 Just look out there and the creative ways that 00:16:25.289 --> 00:16:28.549 people monetize. So I think instead of trying 00:16:28.549 --> 00:16:31.009 to figure out in your head what to do business 00:16:31.009 --> 00:16:34.110 wise, what would you want to do that would give 00:16:34.110 --> 00:16:36.750 you passion and excitement to do every day? And 00:16:36.750 --> 00:16:39.970 then the figuring out the monetization will come 00:16:39.970 --> 00:16:43.409 after. That would be my advice. Yeah. Yeah. That's 00:16:43.409 --> 00:16:47.929 a really interesting take on ego. That's a very 00:16:47.929 --> 00:16:51.529 common topic in my podcast. But I don't think 00:16:51.529 --> 00:16:54.409 I've ever framed it in the way of that's the 00:16:54.409 --> 00:16:56.649 part of your brain that's a little more wired 00:16:56.649 --> 00:16:59.909 towards survival. And I think that really does 00:16:59.909 --> 00:17:04.210 explain a lot of human behavior and can definitely 00:17:04.210 --> 00:17:07.910 show how people can take maybe some things to 00:17:07.910 --> 00:17:11.789 extremes or definitely how it can really hold 00:17:11.789 --> 00:17:15.769 you back. That's definitely something I've struggled 00:17:15.769 --> 00:17:18.430 with and I've spent a number of years trying 00:17:18.430 --> 00:17:22.160 to... override that previous coding in my brain 00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:26.700 um grew up in a you know great family but very 00:17:26.700 --> 00:17:31.519 very typical midwest kind of middle class uh 00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:35.539 play it safe follow the kind of textbook path 00:17:35.539 --> 00:17:38.839 for life which sometimes i'm almost a little 00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:41.440 jealous of people that you know are content with 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:44.019 that you know it sounds you know it's kind of 00:17:44.019 --> 00:17:46.619 nice and simple go to go to the job come home 00:17:47.559 --> 00:17:49.519 do a little hobby, spend time with the family, 00:17:49.660 --> 00:17:53.480 go to bed, wake up, do it again. If that works 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:56.759 for you, it's amazing. I think I've definitely 00:17:56.759 --> 00:18:00.960 found I'm seeking for a little more out of life, 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:03.559 and that's an interesting perspective on how 00:18:03.559 --> 00:18:07.920 to kind of look in at your own ego, and I think 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:10.500 that definitely kind of adds another layer for 00:18:10.500 --> 00:18:14.740 me to consider, especially going into what will 00:18:14.740 --> 00:18:17.619 hopefully be a pretty pivotal year here. Yeah, 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:21.380 can I say something to that? I'll just say how 00:18:21.380 --> 00:18:24.119 many people are actually content with that kind 00:18:24.119 --> 00:18:26.599 of life, if you really think about it. From my 00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:29.740 experience, it really, you know, I worked a corporate 00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:31.940 job for nine years. I was a civil engineer. That's 00:18:31.940 --> 00:18:35.039 what I did before this. And every single day, 00:18:35.180 --> 00:18:38.440 I almost hated going into work, you know. I was 00:18:38.440 --> 00:18:41.579 just, I had a lot of fear and past programming, 00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:46.160 and I was dealing with a lot of shame. low self 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:49.759 -esteem and um and and the interesting thing 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:51.660 is i actually graduated my high school class 00:18:51.660 --> 00:18:56.880 most likely to succeed so in a way um i had a 00:18:56.880 --> 00:19:00.299 lot of evidence that i could i could do just 00:19:00.299 --> 00:19:03.220 about anything i wanted but yet my unconscious 00:19:03.220 --> 00:19:07.259 saboteurs the parts of me that were created in 00:19:07.259 --> 00:19:09.640 my early childhood ended up getting stronger 00:19:09.640 --> 00:19:13.690 and then ended up sabotaging me so That's what 00:19:13.690 --> 00:19:16.609 we're up against. And I think that's what happens 00:19:16.609 --> 00:19:19.730 to most people is that everybody as a kid are 00:19:19.730 --> 00:19:21.190 taught, what's your dream? What's your dream? 00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:22.990 What do you want to do when you grow up? And 00:19:22.990 --> 00:19:25.809 people start moving in that direction. And then 00:19:25.809 --> 00:19:29.589 all of a sudden, either dream crushers or things 00:19:29.589 --> 00:19:31.650 get hard or they feel like they don't have the 00:19:31.650 --> 00:19:34.930 ability or resources. They create their own personal 00:19:34.930 --> 00:19:37.150 limitations in their mind, either externally 00:19:37.150 --> 00:19:41.559 influenced or internally. And they settle. And 00:19:41.559 --> 00:19:43.599 then they lie to themselves and they say, oh, 00:19:43.660 --> 00:19:45.420 my life is great. My life is great. And I did 00:19:45.420 --> 00:19:47.480 that for years. I'm like, oh, I have this great 00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:49.640 paying job. I became the manager of the department. 00:19:50.220 --> 00:19:54.299 And and I was doing better than my parents were 00:19:54.299 --> 00:19:57.619 doing at the time. Right. So in a way, you can 00:19:57.619 --> 00:20:00.059 convince yourself. But deep down, I was very 00:20:00.059 --> 00:20:06.640 unhappy and unfulfilled. So I really respect 00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:10.220 people that. continue to move and be ambitious 00:20:10.220 --> 00:20:13.599 even though they're up against that fear of failure 00:20:13.599 --> 00:20:19.420 or their own personal demons so um if the only 00:20:19.420 --> 00:20:21.559 way you can achieve your dreams if you give up 00:20:21.559 --> 00:20:25.839 right so les brown once said most dreams end 00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:29.759 up in the graveyard so um My motto is always 00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:32.019 hold on to my dreams and just keep moving forward 00:20:32.019 --> 00:20:34.819 and the right opportunities. And that was hypnosis 00:20:34.819 --> 00:20:37.160 and neurolinguistic programming and the tools 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:39.279 to be able to shift my internal world. Because 00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:42.140 when you make that shift, your external world 00:20:42.140 --> 00:20:44.099 becomes so much easier. There's less resistance. 00:20:45.460 --> 00:20:48.259 So, yeah, that's how I kind of see it. Yeah. 00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:50.440 Yeah. And again, the more you talk, the more 00:20:50.440 --> 00:20:53.599 my brain keeps kind of looking into that ego 00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:58.259 level. And I think. Where it's held me back a 00:20:58.259 --> 00:21:01.779 lot in the past is, I don't know, partially trying 00:21:01.779 --> 00:21:04.599 to think of where these things come from within 00:21:04.599 --> 00:21:07.500 me. In the past, I've struggled a lot with depression. 00:21:08.519 --> 00:21:10.960 But at the same time, I've always strived to 00:21:10.960 --> 00:21:14.180 be a person that, no matter how I feel, I really 00:21:14.180 --> 00:21:20.049 don't want to bring anyone else down. caused 00:21:20.049 --> 00:21:22.450 me a lot to you know be similar like you're saying 00:21:22.450 --> 00:21:24.329 like oh you just you just say ever tell everybody 00:21:24.329 --> 00:21:27.250 you know things are good i'm fine yeah and i 00:21:27.250 --> 00:21:30.289 think maybe called a bit of a new year's resolution 00:21:30.289 --> 00:21:33.009 for me is gonna be something along the lines 00:21:33.009 --> 00:21:36.490 of more just being more honest like open like 00:21:36.490 --> 00:21:40.089 not not care if it's gonna i don't know rub somebody 00:21:40.089 --> 00:21:44.069 or the wrong way or surprise them um so i think 00:21:44.069 --> 00:21:46.730 yeah that's that's really important is just being 00:21:46.730 --> 00:21:49.970 honest with yourself and then being able to realize 00:21:49.970 --> 00:21:52.890 that you're not fully being honest with yourself 00:21:52.890 --> 00:21:56.869 and maybe coming to that realization by how you 00:21:56.869 --> 00:22:00.890 talk to others and how yeah how how you interact 00:22:00.890 --> 00:22:03.930 with others could be yeah good a good signal 00:22:03.930 --> 00:22:07.430 of that that hopefully people take away and consider 00:22:07.430 --> 00:22:11.519 that from this episode Yeah. And I'll say like 00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:15.660 vulnerability and authenticity are like the greatest 00:22:15.660 --> 00:22:19.359 like attractors for connection. So for someone 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:23.880 that has felt lonely, the ego tells us we can't 00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:26.559 share our weaknesses. We can't share our flaws. 00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:30.099 We can't tell people that we're depressed because 00:22:30.099 --> 00:22:32.579 then they won't want to be around us or we'll 00:22:32.579 --> 00:22:35.079 be a burden to them or something like that. all 00:22:35.079 --> 00:22:38.019 constructs of the ego the character right because 00:22:38.019 --> 00:22:40.859 the ego's making up all these different rules 00:22:40.859 --> 00:22:43.900 and and i'm gonna i'm gonna share a little story 00:22:43.900 --> 00:22:47.059 that will paint a picture of of really how the 00:22:47.059 --> 00:22:49.920 ego has evolved over time like think about our 00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:54.640 great great ancestors right where um we kind 00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:58.299 of you know traveled individually or in very 00:22:58.299 --> 00:23:01.990 very small groups like two or three um individuals 00:23:01.990 --> 00:23:06.190 but this was before language and then um all 00:23:06.190 --> 00:23:10.430 of a sudden we learned how to use sound to name 00:23:10.430 --> 00:23:13.009 objects and things and then eventually like an 00:23:13.009 --> 00:23:16.130 alphabet was created and and we could use words 00:23:16.130 --> 00:23:19.349 to label people and things so this was like the 00:23:19.349 --> 00:23:22.970 evolution of our you know our species and our 00:23:22.970 --> 00:23:26.210 ancestors so what really the reason we became 00:23:26.210 --> 00:23:29.049 the top species on this planet was because of 00:23:29.049 --> 00:23:31.500 our ability to communicate because now we could 00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:34.579 work together and then we develop tribes now 00:23:34.579 --> 00:23:38.599 all of a sudden um you have certain people that 00:23:38.599 --> 00:23:40.539 are really good at certain things so now people 00:23:40.539 --> 00:23:42.519 have roles and they focus their time and energy 00:23:42.519 --> 00:23:44.420 on that this person's a really good farmer this 00:23:44.420 --> 00:23:47.400 person's a really good hunter this person is 00:23:47.400 --> 00:23:50.369 a really good weaver This person is really wise. 00:23:50.470 --> 00:23:53.049 He should be the chief and make decisions for 00:23:53.049 --> 00:23:57.430 the tribe, right? So that allowed For more efficiency 00:23:57.430 --> 00:24:00.450 more productivity not only that now that you're 00:24:00.450 --> 00:24:03.150 in groups things like predators and starvation 00:24:03.150 --> 00:24:07.210 and shelter They become less of a threat. So 00:24:07.210 --> 00:24:10.009 all of a sudden what becomes the biggest threat? 00:24:10.730 --> 00:24:13.150 the biggest threat becomes getting kicked out 00:24:13.150 --> 00:24:16.009 of your tribe because now you have to learn how 00:24:16.009 --> 00:24:18.289 to survive on your own. Now you have predators. 00:24:18.430 --> 00:24:20.089 Now you have to worry about the elements. Now 00:24:20.089 --> 00:24:21.710 you have to worry about bumping into another 00:24:21.710 --> 00:24:24.250 tribe in which immediately you're a threat and 00:24:24.250 --> 00:24:27.069 probably will be killed. So the ego understood. 00:24:27.430 --> 00:24:30.089 The ego is very smart. The ego understood that 00:24:30.089 --> 00:24:32.690 getting kicked out of the tribe now becomes the 00:24:32.690 --> 00:24:35.309 most dangerous thing. And not only that, there's 00:24:35.309 --> 00:24:37.460 something called the social hierarchy. And that's 00:24:37.460 --> 00:24:40.160 a construct of the ego. So people that are more 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:42.920 valuable or perceived as more valuable, right? 00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:45.640 Oh, this person is a great warrior, right? Now 00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:47.480 that person moves up the social hierarchy and 00:24:47.480 --> 00:24:49.700 they get greater benefits. And that still happens 00:24:49.700 --> 00:24:52.940 today. You get treated better. You get fame. 00:24:53.400 --> 00:24:56.119 You get praise. You get better selection of mates. 00:24:56.259 --> 00:24:58.740 You get to eat first. You get to eat more. But 00:24:58.740 --> 00:25:00.779 now if you're at the bottom of the social hierarchy, 00:25:00.980 --> 00:25:02.960 now you start freaking out. The ego is like, 00:25:03.059 --> 00:25:08.170 oh, no, we have to do better. So therefore, we 00:25:08.170 --> 00:25:10.569 do a lot of inauthentic things in order to be 00:25:10.569 --> 00:25:14.210 accepted. And if you really think about it, that's 00:25:14.210 --> 00:25:16.910 really what we're all doing is because the ego 00:25:16.910 --> 00:25:18.849 just is looking for social acceptance because 00:25:18.849 --> 00:25:22.049 in its way of thinking, it thinks that if you 00:25:22.049 --> 00:25:24.630 get kicked out of the tribe, even today, you 00:25:24.630 --> 00:25:28.490 will die. And like a lot of the inauthenticities 00:25:28.490 --> 00:25:32.369 and stories and defense mechanisms and behaviors 00:25:32.369 --> 00:25:35.549 that are not true to ourselves are really... 00:25:36.109 --> 00:25:38.970 grounded in that. And it's kind of absurd because 00:25:38.970 --> 00:25:41.130 you could go on meetup .com tomorrow and find 00:25:41.130 --> 00:25:43.369 a new tribe. You can go find a new sports team. 00:25:43.430 --> 00:25:45.529 You can do improv. You can find tribes in so 00:25:45.529 --> 00:25:47.609 many different ways. So getting kicked out of 00:25:47.609 --> 00:25:49.490 your tribe is not a threat anymore. But yet we 00:25:49.490 --> 00:25:53.369 are so conditioned and not taught about this 00:25:53.369 --> 00:25:56.930 driving force that is actually not serving us. 00:25:57.369 --> 00:26:01.009 If that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. And yeah, 00:26:01.049 --> 00:26:04.839 that brought a topic to my mind. what i've been 00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:07.799 realizing in the world specifically on the side 00:26:07.799 --> 00:26:10.359 i think a little more for for men when we're 00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:13.359 talking about tribes and exactly what you're 00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:16.759 just talking about uh and how men you know we 00:26:16.759 --> 00:26:20.359 tend to be a lot less open even even with each 00:26:20.359 --> 00:26:23.299 other uh no typically on the female side they 00:26:23.299 --> 00:26:26.599 they chat a lot like i when i talk to my girlfriend 00:26:26.599 --> 00:26:28.819 she's just like oh we just talk about everything 00:26:28.819 --> 00:26:30.759 like they just kind of naturally her and her 00:26:30.759 --> 00:26:34.859 friends talk about everything and that's typically 00:26:34.859 --> 00:26:38.599 very much less common uh on the the male side 00:26:38.599 --> 00:26:41.779 of the equation and then in this modern world 00:26:41.779 --> 00:26:45.519 you know like you said old days you're very very 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:48.680 dependent on the tribe um but in this modern 00:26:48.680 --> 00:26:51.640 world when resources are more readily available 00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:56.319 and we have just so many distractions you know 00:26:56.319 --> 00:26:59.660 anything everything on the internet um I think 00:26:59.660 --> 00:27:01.559 there's a lot and something I've struggled with 00:27:01.559 --> 00:27:06.140 is almost kind of finding a tribe or like people 00:27:06.140 --> 00:27:10.819 to open up with and relate to. And I know you 00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:13.420 kind of touched on, you know, again, that's the 00:27:13.420 --> 00:27:16.019 ego. Like you can't go on a meetup. There's a 00:27:16.019 --> 00:27:19.619 lot of options out there. But maybe I think you'd 00:27:19.619 --> 00:27:21.259 be an interesting person. You know, what's your 00:27:21.259 --> 00:27:25.240 take on how you kind of see men in the world 00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:30.029 today? I assume you probably have a lot of clients 00:27:30.029 --> 00:27:33.369 that, you know, kind of struggle with that. Kind 00:27:33.369 --> 00:27:35.890 of open -ended question there. No, it's a great 00:27:35.890 --> 00:27:42.289 question. And I do think I understand this from 00:27:42.289 --> 00:27:46.630 a unique perspective. And interestingly enough, 00:27:46.690 --> 00:27:50.130 I experienced a really intense trauma at a young 00:27:50.130 --> 00:27:52.930 age. And that was the smoking gun that caused 00:27:52.930 --> 00:27:54.750 me to become an alcoholic. It happened when I 00:27:54.750 --> 00:27:58.869 was three. And that caused me to lose trust because 00:27:58.869 --> 00:28:02.509 it was a family member. And when you lose that 00:28:02.509 --> 00:28:05.750 trust, you make a decision like we got to do 00:28:05.750 --> 00:28:08.869 it on our own. So a lot of what we do as young 00:28:08.869 --> 00:28:12.130 children is we model the people around us and 00:28:12.130 --> 00:28:14.710 primarily our authority figures. So the first 00:28:14.710 --> 00:28:17.470 part of answering that question is that this 00:28:17.470 --> 00:28:21.269 has been going on for a long time. is that men 00:28:21.269 --> 00:28:25.589 have not felt safe to express themselves and 00:28:25.589 --> 00:28:27.970 express their emotions. So there's this expectation. 00:28:28.509 --> 00:28:33.450 And oftentimes it's seen as weakness to be vulnerable 00:28:33.450 --> 00:28:36.410 and express things like that. So there's a lot 00:28:36.410 --> 00:28:38.269 of judgment with that. There's a lot of bravado. 00:28:38.329 --> 00:28:41.130 There's a lot of, oh, the alpha male is not supposed 00:28:41.130 --> 00:28:43.710 to express their feelings in that way, which 00:28:43.710 --> 00:28:47.839 is not. Not true, right? And, you know, men that 00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:50.099 can be very vulnerable, it's very powerful and 00:28:50.099 --> 00:28:54.259 connecting. It's more so if someone is in that 00:28:54.259 --> 00:28:59.000 victim mentality that really looks unfavorable 00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:03.250 for men. The question really is, and I think 00:29:03.250 --> 00:29:05.829 a lot of people understand that. So we model 00:29:05.829 --> 00:29:08.910 our parents, and I'm sure your dad's similar 00:29:08.910 --> 00:29:11.609 in that respect with not expressing their emotions 00:29:11.609 --> 00:29:14.750 very strongly, but it's a cultural thing. That's 00:29:14.750 --> 00:29:16.470 the first thing. But then the second is, is why 00:29:16.470 --> 00:29:21.990 and who teaches us that? And unfortunately, the 00:29:21.990 --> 00:29:25.069 reason is, is because of the masculine -feminine 00:29:25.069 --> 00:29:29.690 dynamics relationship. As much as women say they 00:29:29.690 --> 00:29:33.980 want, um men to be vulnerable and open i've talked 00:29:33.980 --> 00:29:36.319 to so many men and so many women and listened 00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:40.940 to so many podcasts that uh what ends up happening 00:29:40.940 --> 00:29:44.680 in relationship women you know their partners 00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:47.819 are a source of their safety and feeling safe 00:29:47.819 --> 00:29:51.740 and secure in the world so therefore when men 00:29:51.740 --> 00:29:55.119 do open up and share vulnerably like i don't 00:29:55.119 --> 00:29:58.039 know how i'm gonna make things work financially 00:29:58.039 --> 00:30:02.759 or i'm like really scared right now um that level 00:30:02.759 --> 00:30:05.900 of the unsafety when that shows up in men the 00:30:05.900 --> 00:30:09.160 partner feels very unsafe too and i've also heard 00:30:09.160 --> 00:30:12.359 that it makes men look very unattractive to them 00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:16.259 so that has been going on for a long time is 00:30:16.259 --> 00:30:19.940 because men have the burden of being this provider 00:30:19.940 --> 00:30:23.759 and being the source of safety in relationship, 00:30:24.180 --> 00:30:26.779 they have learned that they can't say certain 00:30:26.779 --> 00:30:30.079 things. So if you can't say it to your partner, 00:30:30.299 --> 00:30:33.000 you know, you can't, you know, you don't feel 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:35.200 safe saying it anywhere. And that's where men's 00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:36.960 groups are really good because you can bring 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:39.680 that stuff there. And that's like the only solution 00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:42.380 that I've really found is like, it really doesn't 00:30:42.380 --> 00:30:44.980 work to share the things that you're afraid of 00:30:44.980 --> 00:30:47.299 and the things that. make you feel insecure and 00:30:47.299 --> 00:30:50.819 unsafe to your partner but in a men's group the 00:30:50.819 --> 00:30:52.960 right men they can hold the space for you and 00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:54.839 they can help you through that so that would 00:30:54.839 --> 00:30:57.859 be the solution to it does that make sense yeah 00:30:57.859 --> 00:31:00.700 yeah absolutely it's a lot of a lot of interesting 00:31:00.700 --> 00:31:03.980 things we could go in and unpack there and open 00:31:03.980 --> 00:31:07.640 up on my side that i recently joined like very 00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:10.819 recently last week joined a virtual like men's 00:31:10.819 --> 00:31:15.130 group so i'm i'm just starting that journey i'd 00:31:15.130 --> 00:31:18.170 say and uh so it's it's definitely it's definitely 00:31:18.170 --> 00:31:20.809 intimidating but really trying to work myself 00:31:20.809 --> 00:31:23.549 to really dive into that and you know that's 00:31:23.549 --> 00:31:25.869 especially those kind of groups it's you get 00:31:25.869 --> 00:31:28.430 what you put in um that's certainly what the 00:31:28.430 --> 00:31:30.490 the leaders say when when they bring in a new 00:31:30.490 --> 00:31:33.890 person maybe that'll be a topic i talk about 00:31:33.890 --> 00:31:36.730 more in this coming year as i do a bit more but 00:31:36.730 --> 00:31:40.069 uh yeah definitely seeing more of how yeah it's 00:31:40.069 --> 00:31:42.259 something like a men's group I don't know if 00:31:42.259 --> 00:31:44.859 it's a matter of there not being enough of, which 00:31:44.859 --> 00:31:47.539 I think is probably a little bit, or also maybe 00:31:47.539 --> 00:31:50.460 the word, just getting the word out that those 00:31:50.460 --> 00:31:54.359 kind of things exist. It's definitely something 00:31:54.359 --> 00:31:57.980 men need to hear, and I think we need to promote 00:31:57.980 --> 00:32:01.819 more. So yeah, yeah, it's a... Yeah, I agree 00:32:01.819 --> 00:32:04.460 completely, and more and more are popping up, 00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:07.759 and that's really good to see. So just like anything... 00:32:08.109 --> 00:32:10.289 There's a little bit of stigmatism when something 00:32:10.289 --> 00:32:14.950 new gets created and a lot of opinion and judgments, 00:32:15.029 --> 00:32:18.890 and then eventually it becomes mainstream. So 00:32:18.890 --> 00:32:21.390 men's groups have not quite become mainstream, 00:32:21.589 --> 00:32:24.390 but you're right, talking about it, and it is 00:32:24.390 --> 00:32:27.329 so necessary and important, and you don't even 00:32:27.329 --> 00:32:29.950 understand how important it is. And if you're 00:32:29.950 --> 00:32:33.589 a gentleman listening to this and you feel isolated 00:32:33.589 --> 00:32:36.930 and alone, I'm telling you, a men's group. is 00:32:36.930 --> 00:32:39.970 a place to go and find the right one like some 00:32:39.970 --> 00:32:41.750 of them here's another problem is some of them 00:32:41.750 --> 00:32:45.410 are kind of toxic um it's it's really about get 00:32:45.410 --> 00:32:48.410 strong and tough and and you know they kind of 00:32:48.410 --> 00:32:51.109 bypass the emotion part but like i'm going to 00:32:51.109 --> 00:32:53.490 tell you everything i've learned on this journey 00:32:53.490 --> 00:32:56.230 the source of all of our problems is the suppression 00:32:56.230 --> 00:32:59.150 of emotions and everything i do with clients 00:32:59.150 --> 00:33:01.390 is about finding those emotions and clearing 00:33:01.390 --> 00:33:04.460 them out understanding them, processing, installing 00:33:04.460 --> 00:33:08.259 the learnings. So in a way, you are literally 00:33:08.259 --> 00:33:10.839 holding yourself back by bypassing your emotions, 00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:12.900 and that is the most dangerous thing you could 00:33:12.900 --> 00:33:17.079 do. I suppressed emotions for so long, and then 00:33:17.079 --> 00:33:19.819 eventually the pain became so unbearable, the 00:33:19.819 --> 00:33:21.380 only way I could get through life is through 00:33:21.380 --> 00:33:24.200 alcohol. And that's where people have addictions 00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:26.440 and bad habits and all that kind of stuff. That 00:33:26.440 --> 00:33:29.420 is a symptom and reflection of suppressed emotions 00:33:29.420 --> 00:33:32.299 that they have been bypassing. Yeah. Yeah. And 00:33:32.299 --> 00:33:34.420 that's another big, interesting point you brought 00:33:34.420 --> 00:33:37.140 up that there's certainly some, say, toxic ones 00:33:37.140 --> 00:33:39.680 out there that maybe even if they mean well, 00:33:39.740 --> 00:33:41.880 they kind of focus on the wrong things a little 00:33:41.880 --> 00:33:45.579 too much. And, you know, also, unfortunately, 00:33:45.740 --> 00:33:48.500 those are those are the loudest people. And, 00:33:48.680 --> 00:33:50.299 you know, when you when you have a bunch of men 00:33:50.299 --> 00:33:54.119 that they don't know where to go and that's the 00:33:54.119 --> 00:33:57.480 only option they hear or see online, then they're 00:33:57.480 --> 00:34:00.119 like, well, I need something. So and then that's 00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:03.819 where they go. So we definitely need more people 00:34:03.819 --> 00:34:06.779 speaking out on that more vulnerable, emotional 00:34:06.779 --> 00:34:09.619 side. I think the way men are wired, you know, 00:34:09.659 --> 00:34:12.460 going to the gym and things of that nature certainly 00:34:12.460 --> 00:34:15.039 are important. You know, you got to be able to 00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:17.539 build your self -worth in certain ways. That 00:34:17.539 --> 00:34:20.900 helps a lot for us. But yeah, I hope to see more 00:34:20.900 --> 00:34:23.659 in the future of the kind of the full spectrum, 00:34:23.860 --> 00:34:27.059 partially of just being a human. And then maybe 00:34:27.059 --> 00:34:30.440 kind of bottleneck is probably a lot of... the 00:34:30.440 --> 00:34:32.039 communities or men's groups, you know, maybe 00:34:32.039 --> 00:34:35.480 a little more religious based. So if you're, 00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.260 if you're someone like me and you're not religious, 00:34:37.360 --> 00:34:41.480 then as kind of another vacuum, you feel like 00:34:41.480 --> 00:34:43.119 you're in where you're, you're trying to find, 00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:46.619 okay, you know, how, how can I meet people that, 00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:49.539 you know, align with me and I don't have to sit 00:34:49.539 --> 00:34:52.159 there and listen to a religious sermon for half 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:54.380 an hour first. But yeah, some, those are kind 00:34:54.380 --> 00:34:56.780 of some of my thoughts there. I'm sure we could. 00:34:57.389 --> 00:34:59.150 You know, go along with that for quite a while, 00:34:59.210 --> 00:35:03.469 but I'm curious, the neuro -linguistic programming, 00:35:03.789 --> 00:35:06.550 did I get that right? Yeah. I feel like I've 00:35:06.550 --> 00:35:08.289 definitely heard that term, but maybe you could 00:35:08.289 --> 00:35:11.570 kind of throw out a functional definition or 00:35:11.570 --> 00:35:16.809 how you interpret that term. Yeah. So I think 00:35:16.809 --> 00:35:23.269 NLP is a, it's a framework that really explains 00:35:23.269 --> 00:35:26.349 what drives human behavior better than anything. 00:35:27.070 --> 00:35:29.530 And I feel like it's the user manual for the 00:35:29.530 --> 00:35:33.929 mind. And the history of it is in the 1970s, 00:35:33.929 --> 00:35:37.110 there was two people. One was a grad student. 00:35:37.250 --> 00:35:42.570 He was a systems guy and also was doing editing 00:35:42.570 --> 00:35:47.670 for books on therapy. And then the other person 00:35:47.670 --> 00:35:52.239 was a linguistics professor. There was a moment 00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:56.539 where Richard Bandler, who was the systems grad 00:35:56.539 --> 00:36:00.260 student, he was editing this book by Fritz Perl, 00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:02.780 which is a well -known person in, I believe, 00:36:02.980 --> 00:36:06.820 family therapy. Or gestalt therapy, actually. 00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:10.619 And Bandler, through editing the book, he's like... 00:36:10.760 --> 00:36:12.659 And hearing these principles and principles, 00:36:12.780 --> 00:36:15.159 he's like, I think I can do this. So he started 00:36:15.159 --> 00:36:18.880 doing Gestalt therapy without any schooling or 00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:21.440 licensure or anything. And he was producing tremendous 00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:24.360 results. And that sparked the question was like, 00:36:24.559 --> 00:36:27.599 hmm, I wonder if you can model anybody's success 00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:31.300 and create a framework for getting there. So 00:36:31.300 --> 00:36:34.619 that really is what NLP is, is being able to 00:36:34.619 --> 00:36:40.550 model other people's success and how they you 00:36:40.550 --> 00:36:43.309 know, their conclusion after doing a lot of research 00:36:43.309 --> 00:36:45.889 and getting a deeper understanding about how 00:36:45.889 --> 00:36:49.309 the mind and behavior works is that if you install 00:36:49.309 --> 00:36:52.489 and match other people's belief systems, value 00:36:52.489 --> 00:36:55.329 systems, and match their physiology, like their 00:36:55.329 --> 00:36:58.250 body movements, then you can literally almost 00:36:58.250 --> 00:37:01.650 match anybody's success, right? With a certain 00:37:01.650 --> 00:37:07.920 degree of... um restriction right like i'm 43 00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:10.199 i'm not going to make it to the nba right i'm 00:37:10.199 --> 00:37:11.619 not going to get there it doesn't matter how 00:37:11.619 --> 00:37:13.500 my mindset is it doesn't matter how strong i 00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:16.099 get i'm just not going to get there But ultimately, 00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:18.340 anything else can happen, right? In the entrepreneur 00:37:18.340 --> 00:37:21.960 path, that's how you do it. So for me, like recently, 00:37:22.099 --> 00:37:25.300 I went on ChatGBT and I just got inspired by 00:37:25.300 --> 00:37:28.340 this idea that I wanted to install this belief 00:37:28.340 --> 00:37:31.300 that I'm like a really savvy entrepreneur. So 00:37:31.300 --> 00:37:33.820 I went on ChatGBT and I was like, hey, go through 00:37:33.820 --> 00:37:37.010 all the books. of all the the autobiographies 00:37:37.010 --> 00:37:40.329 of all the very successful millionaires billionaires 00:37:40.329 --> 00:37:45.409 and give me all the belief systems and value 00:37:45.409 --> 00:37:49.630 systems and behaviors of these very successful 00:37:49.630 --> 00:37:52.349 people and they gave me a whole list so what 00:37:52.349 --> 00:37:55.230 i do is i take the that information and i install 00:37:55.230 --> 00:37:58.699 it for myself because But ultimately, decisions 00:37:58.699 --> 00:38:01.380 is what determines where you end up in your life, 00:38:01.500 --> 00:38:04.239 right? The imposter syndrome, you have a decision 00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:07.179 from your past around failure or I'm not good 00:38:07.179 --> 00:38:09.460 enough or whatever. That decision that you made 00:38:09.460 --> 00:38:12.039 unconsciously still shows up in your life. And 00:38:12.039 --> 00:38:14.199 all it takes is to make a new decision of like, 00:38:14.300 --> 00:38:16.449 I am not going to do that anymore. i'm not going 00:38:16.449 --> 00:38:18.630 to live in that imposter syndrome i'm not going 00:38:18.630 --> 00:38:20.210 to be not good enough i'm not going to live in 00:38:20.210 --> 00:38:23.130 this world of failure because i'm i see myself 00:38:23.130 --> 00:38:24.869 and i'm going to decide that i'm successful no 00:38:24.869 --> 00:38:27.510 matter what happens so neurolinguistic program 00:38:27.510 --> 00:38:30.570 is that framework is that that's that really 00:38:30.570 --> 00:38:33.710 helped me see the matrix that helped me see that 00:38:33.710 --> 00:38:36.730 the mind works like a computer and what's really 00:38:36.730 --> 00:38:39.210 driving everything is the computer code and what's 00:38:39.210 --> 00:38:42.440 the computer code beliefs and decisions so if 00:38:42.440 --> 00:38:44.619 you can install the right beliefs and decisions 00:38:44.619 --> 00:38:46.920 and you can clear out the negative and limiting 00:38:46.920 --> 00:38:51.159 ones you could be unstoppable yeah yeah that's 00:38:51.159 --> 00:38:53.739 a good way to put it and i think that really 00:38:53.739 --> 00:38:56.219 intertwines well with a lot of the topics i've 00:38:56.219 --> 00:38:59.340 covered in this podcast and one that came to 00:38:59.340 --> 00:39:02.119 mind for me is i think something that can help 00:39:02.119 --> 00:39:04.920 get through imposter syndrome is remembering 00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:09.139 that who like who you are is really defined by 00:39:09.690 --> 00:39:11.809 what you're doing now or what you do next. It 00:39:11.809 --> 00:39:15.250 doesn't have to be defined by the past. So that's 00:39:15.250 --> 00:39:20.239 the NLP can be that. That's the big problem. 00:39:20.599 --> 00:39:23.599 That's where people do it reverse. It's not what 00:39:23.599 --> 00:39:26.639 you do. Doing is a reflection. It is a feedback 00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:29.280 system. But we think we have to do something 00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:32.179 in order to have something in order to feel something 00:39:32.179 --> 00:39:36.059 or be something. If I work 80 hours a week and 00:39:36.059 --> 00:39:40.750 if I have a million dollars a year. And then 00:39:40.750 --> 00:39:43.110 I can have the nice car. And then I can have 00:39:43.110 --> 00:39:48.610 the nice house. Then I can have the ideal partner. 00:39:48.769 --> 00:39:50.550 Then I can attract it because now I'm a high 00:39:50.550 --> 00:39:53.949 value man, for example. And then I can be happy. 00:39:54.070 --> 00:39:58.110 And then I can be fulfilled. So that is the misconception 00:39:58.110 --> 00:40:01.469 that the fastest and easiest way to get what 00:40:01.469 --> 00:40:04.690 you want in life is to shift your identity. So 00:40:04.690 --> 00:40:08.150 if you're being something, right? And you don't 00:40:08.150 --> 00:40:10.710 need... external evidence for it if you just 00:40:10.710 --> 00:40:14.809 decide and install the belief then everything 00:40:14.809 --> 00:40:16.889 in your behavior and everything else and what 00:40:16.889 --> 00:40:19.230 you do will match that identity and that belief 00:40:19.230 --> 00:40:21.570 system that is the fastest way to get what you 00:40:21.570 --> 00:40:23.849 want in your life that if that makes sense yeah 00:40:23.849 --> 00:40:26.570 yeah i think that's uh kind of where i was where 00:40:26.570 --> 00:40:29.610 i was going with that is yeah yeah you can yeah 00:40:29.610 --> 00:40:32.389 really breaking down those beliefs and values 00:40:32.389 --> 00:40:36.409 and yeah realizing that that part of you can 00:40:36.409 --> 00:40:41.199 change and As long as you develop those and can 00:40:41.199 --> 00:40:43.679 stick with them, then that is the person you 00:40:43.679 --> 00:40:45.659 are now. That is the person you become. You're 00:40:45.659 --> 00:40:50.659 not trapped in past beliefs and values. What 00:40:50.659 --> 00:40:54.280 are some of those steps that you take people 00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:57.460 through to help identify those beliefs and values? 00:40:57.659 --> 00:41:01.579 Maybe get them to realize the maybe toxic ones 00:41:01.579 --> 00:41:03.500 they're currently in or in the past and then 00:41:03.500 --> 00:41:06.920 develop the ones that they want to strive for. 00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:10.280 Yeah, totally. So the people that come to me, 00:41:10.300 --> 00:41:13.119 they have a problem, but they don't really understand 00:41:13.119 --> 00:41:15.760 what's the driving force of it or how to change 00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:20.079 it. And most of the time, this is the other thing 00:41:20.079 --> 00:41:22.219 that people don't get is that the problem that 00:41:22.219 --> 00:41:24.260 they have is the surface level problem, right? 00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:27.860 I have a habit of alcoholism. That is the surface 00:41:27.860 --> 00:41:29.639 level problem, but what's at the root of it? 00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:33.570 Oh. Now that I know, it's like, oh, I have all 00:41:33.570 --> 00:41:35.550 this shame and guilt that I've been suppressing 00:41:35.550 --> 00:41:41.010 my entire life. You go to just about any AA meeting, 00:41:41.110 --> 00:41:43.250 and I'm going to tell you, half the room is plagued 00:41:43.250 --> 00:41:45.670 with guilt, right? So there's a common theme 00:41:45.670 --> 00:41:51.389 with guilt and shame and alcoholism. And so it's 00:41:51.389 --> 00:41:54.570 really about finding the root cause. So I really 00:41:54.570 --> 00:41:56.650 get a better understanding of the behaviors. 00:41:57.070 --> 00:42:00.860 And then I... ask a lot of different questions. 00:42:01.179 --> 00:42:04.820 And something from NLP, something called the 00:42:04.820 --> 00:42:08.019 meta model, is that you can actually, people 00:42:08.019 --> 00:42:11.219 speak in generalities and they speak so that 00:42:11.219 --> 00:42:13.500 there's a lot of missing information. That's 00:42:13.500 --> 00:42:18.699 how the brain learns how to not expend a lot 00:42:18.699 --> 00:42:22.530 of energy is to speak in generalities. So you 00:42:22.530 --> 00:42:24.989 never actually get to the root until you get 00:42:24.989 --> 00:42:27.070 more specific. So you can ask these questions 00:42:27.070 --> 00:42:29.030 that chunk people down and that's the metamodel. 00:42:29.210 --> 00:42:32.010 And then eventually you get more specific and 00:42:32.010 --> 00:42:34.389 you can find the root belief that's actually 00:42:34.389 --> 00:42:36.869 at the root of it. And we could go through that 00:42:36.869 --> 00:42:40.349 exercise right now because you said you have 00:42:40.349 --> 00:42:42.090 imposter syndrome. I bet you there's a belief 00:42:42.090 --> 00:42:44.510 underneath there that we could find by doing 00:42:44.510 --> 00:42:49.309 the metamodel. And I don't know if you feel comfortable 00:42:49.309 --> 00:42:54.130 doing that. um yeah you know i mean i think we 00:42:54.130 --> 00:42:57.090 got we got some time here and in the my the spirit 00:42:57.090 --> 00:43:00.250 of my new year's resolution to just be more open 00:43:00.250 --> 00:43:01.969 and honest i think i think that'd be a perfect 00:43:01.969 --> 00:43:05.280 step to take here Okay, great. Let's do it then. 00:43:05.400 --> 00:43:08.500 So, you know, imposter syndrome is such like, 00:43:08.619 --> 00:43:13.000 it's such a generalized term. It can mean so 00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:15.679 much, right? Imposter syndrome to you could mean 00:43:15.679 --> 00:43:17.880 imposter syndrome, like someone can have a completely 00:43:17.880 --> 00:43:20.900 different meaning of it. So give me an example 00:43:20.900 --> 00:43:24.320 of one or two situations or behaviors where imposter 00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:26.539 syndrome shows up for you. So I get a better 00:43:26.539 --> 00:43:28.860 understanding of how you behave in those situations. 00:43:32.460 --> 00:43:36.719 Yeah, I think, kind of like I alluded to before, 00:43:36.800 --> 00:43:43.599 in the business realm, especially in, say, networking 00:43:43.599 --> 00:43:46.980 events or business events like we met at, letting 00:43:46.980 --> 00:43:50.219 myself portray myself as, say, like a subject 00:43:50.219 --> 00:43:56.239 matter expert. A lot of it, I have a lot of knowledge, 00:43:56.300 --> 00:43:59.619 and I feel like maybe part of what holds me back 00:43:59.619 --> 00:44:01.420 is I have a lot of... I don't know if you call 00:44:01.420 --> 00:44:05.099 it more indirect experience. Like I've been in 00:44:05.099 --> 00:44:08.719 more support roles in the business world than 00:44:08.719 --> 00:44:11.260 rather than, you know, the person say running 00:44:11.260 --> 00:44:13.940 the project or like the person really with the 00:44:13.940 --> 00:44:17.500 authority. But at the same time, I've in that 00:44:17.500 --> 00:44:20.179 time as maybe a bit more of the follower, the 00:44:20.179 --> 00:44:22.960 person in the background, like I utilize that 00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:26.460 time. I really try to learn from it. And in my 00:44:26.460 --> 00:44:29.039 own head, I'm running through how I would do 00:44:29.039 --> 00:44:32.460 things, learning. Spending thousands of hours 00:44:32.460 --> 00:44:35.119 of my own time learning on the side and the topics 00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:40.380 I'm interested in. I suppose my current issues, 00:44:40.460 --> 00:44:44.059 I don't have as much on paper. This is where 00:44:44.059 --> 00:44:48.659 I actually did it. A little limit of a belief 00:44:48.659 --> 00:44:52.360 in myself, a little lack of confidence in that 00:44:52.360 --> 00:44:57.440 I'm a subject matter expert. Who says you have 00:44:57.440 --> 00:45:02.320 to be a subject matter expert? Yeah, I guess 00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:07.519 I try to think through if I want a potential 00:45:07.519 --> 00:45:10.260 client to see through their eyes, what are they 00:45:10.260 --> 00:45:14.820 looking for? Are they looking for just literal 00:45:14.820 --> 00:45:19.440 examples? So what I'm hearing is because you 00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:21.960 feel like you don't have the experience or the 00:45:21.960 --> 00:45:25.500 credentials, you feel like a potential client 00:45:25.500 --> 00:45:32.889 will see that as a what? Am I understanding that 00:45:32.889 --> 00:45:36.389 correctly? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I'm trying to think 00:45:36.389 --> 00:45:41.329 of what they see it as. A reason not to choose 00:45:41.329 --> 00:45:44.730 me, not to give me money to help them. Because 00:45:44.730 --> 00:45:47.610 that's what this is all about. Ultimately, the 00:45:47.610 --> 00:45:50.869 exchange of money. Okay, so you don't have the 00:45:50.869 --> 00:45:53.110 experience or the credentials. Therefore, what 00:45:53.110 --> 00:45:57.829 does that mean about you? Yeah, I mean, I guess 00:45:57.829 --> 00:46:02.050 in my head, I'd maybe try to turn it on myself 00:46:02.050 --> 00:46:08.070 and say I'm not actually capable. Even though 00:46:08.070 --> 00:46:11.730 part of me believes and knows that I am. So that's 00:46:11.730 --> 00:46:15.110 that internal conflict you can really spiral 00:46:15.110 --> 00:46:19.550 in. So good. NLP has this process called parts 00:46:19.550 --> 00:46:22.409 integration. It's so powerful. But that is a 00:46:22.409 --> 00:46:25.489 phenomenon is we create parts in stressful moments 00:46:25.489 --> 00:46:31.010 of our life and they become like these many characters, 00:46:31.110 --> 00:46:33.369 these many personalities that drive our behavior. 00:46:33.650 --> 00:46:35.869 And the way that you find these parts is words 00:46:35.869 --> 00:46:38.389 like that. There's an internal conflict. There's 00:46:38.389 --> 00:46:40.369 part of me that knows I'm capable, but then there's 00:46:40.369 --> 00:46:42.409 a part of me that doesn't. That is a parts conflict. 00:46:42.710 --> 00:46:45.909 So right now, I have a tool that I could use 00:46:45.909 --> 00:46:47.570 and do a parts integration to help integrate 00:46:47.570 --> 00:46:49.969 those parts. But let's go a little bit deeper 00:46:49.969 --> 00:46:53.469 because we have a belief or decision, I'm not 00:46:53.469 --> 00:46:56.690 capable, right? I'm curious to know, let's go 00:46:56.690 --> 00:46:59.599 like... Everything we've done so far is chunked 00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:01.880 down to get to that point. And that's what I'm 00:47:01.880 --> 00:47:03.559 looking for. I'm always looking for what's the 00:47:03.559 --> 00:47:06.719 core belief. For what reason are you not capable? 00:47:09.940 --> 00:47:14.579 Yeah, I guess my positive area is there isn't 00:47:14.579 --> 00:47:19.239 necessarily, I'd say, a very specific or concrete 00:47:19.239 --> 00:47:25.039 reason. I also... something that i i think is 00:47:25.039 --> 00:47:26.860 humorous to myself is because there are other 00:47:26.860 --> 00:47:29.900 parts of my life that i've you know i have reached 00:47:29.900 --> 00:47:33.199 say an elite level like endurance running and 00:47:33.199 --> 00:47:37.119 you know it's endurance running i i think maybe 00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:38.920 i'm just i've gotten really good at wrapping 00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:41.179 my head around it and it's you know you you do 00:47:41.179 --> 00:47:43.539 the work and you get there but that's the same 00:47:43.539 --> 00:47:47.039 thing with everything so you know why can't if 00:47:47.039 --> 00:47:49.480 i've i have that kind of proof that i can do 00:47:49.480 --> 00:47:53.380 something relatively extraordinary so you know 00:47:53.380 --> 00:47:56.159 why do i no reason i should hold myself back 00:47:56.159 --> 00:48:00.300 uh in another realm of life great and that that 00:48:00.300 --> 00:48:03.539 is like that's how we try to solve problems right 00:48:03.539 --> 00:48:07.599 there is to logically find the solution but what's 00:48:07.599 --> 00:48:10.280 really happening is that a parts conflict the 00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:12.880 problem will only show up part of the time versus 00:48:12.880 --> 00:48:16.840 like a like a deep -seated limiting belief um 00:48:16.840 --> 00:48:20.030 that's not a part that will show up all the time. 00:48:20.070 --> 00:48:21.769 Like it'll show up in the back room all the time. 00:48:21.849 --> 00:48:23.909 So that's why it's happening. Like that's why 00:48:23.909 --> 00:48:27.329 this phenomenon is happening is that there's 00:48:27.329 --> 00:48:30.530 a part of you that in certain situations creates 00:48:30.530 --> 00:48:33.050 this narrative that you're not capable, right? 00:48:33.449 --> 00:48:40.170 So, and I'm just curious to know if you allow 00:48:40.170 --> 00:48:43.570 yourself to connect into this part, for what 00:48:43.570 --> 00:48:47.719 reason are you not capable? Because sometimes 00:48:47.719 --> 00:48:51.079 what happens is we don't want to go a little 00:48:51.079 --> 00:48:52.940 bit deeper because we're afraid that it will 00:48:52.940 --> 00:48:56.159 be painful. And that's why most people don't 00:48:56.159 --> 00:48:58.320 do the deeper work is because they're afraid 00:48:58.320 --> 00:49:00.260 of what they'll find. And they're afraid that 00:49:00.260 --> 00:49:02.719 they're going to open up Pandora's box and then 00:49:02.719 --> 00:49:05.880 they won't be able to get out of it. But all 00:49:05.880 --> 00:49:07.800 that's going to happen is like you're going to 00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:10.019 get a deeper awareness and understanding of what's 00:49:10.019 --> 00:49:12.619 underneath that. Like, what are you afraid that 00:49:12.619 --> 00:49:15.539 you'd find out that's that's. underneath that 00:49:15.539 --> 00:49:17.780 you're not capable there's a deeper belief about 00:49:17.780 --> 00:49:21.119 you that is underneath that and i'm curious to 00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:23.380 know if you allow your unconscious mind to go 00:49:23.380 --> 00:49:32.219 there what is that belief yeah it's uh i don't 00:49:32.219 --> 00:49:36.559 know if it's just fear if there's like sometimes 00:49:36.559 --> 00:49:40.139 i think i'm more fear just not living up to my 00:49:40.139 --> 00:49:44.480 what i see as my potential Yeah. And how would 00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:46.579 that be a problem if you didn't live to your 00:49:46.579 --> 00:49:52.019 potential? I guess in my head, maybe kind of 00:49:52.019 --> 00:49:55.079 that's what I've told myself my mission is, you 00:49:55.079 --> 00:49:58.059 know, you try to find, say, some sort of meaning 00:49:58.059 --> 00:50:02.139 of life or you think what what would what would 00:50:02.139 --> 00:50:04.940 leave me, you know, satisfied on my deathbed. 00:50:05.059 --> 00:50:07.760 Yeah. And I think, like you said, the kind of 00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:10.699 general brain trying to be general is, you know, 00:50:10.699 --> 00:50:13.730 just generally. If I live up to my potential, 00:50:13.849 --> 00:50:16.150 whatever that means. Yeah. I don't know if that 00:50:16.150 --> 00:50:18.949 kind of. No, it makes complete sense. It makes 00:50:18.949 --> 00:50:22.809 complete sense. And that's the part. The part 00:50:22.809 --> 00:50:26.110 of you is creating this narrative and story because 00:50:26.110 --> 00:50:28.949 there's a deeper belief that it's trying to prevent 00:50:28.949 --> 00:50:32.269 you from experiencing. So it's driving you and 00:50:32.269 --> 00:50:35.650 driving you to reach this proverbial potential 00:50:35.650 --> 00:50:40.610 versus realizing like. At moment to moment, we're 00:50:40.610 --> 00:50:43.889 exhibiting our potential until we learn and we 00:50:43.889 --> 00:50:45.710 grow, and then we have the next level of potential. 00:50:46.329 --> 00:50:50.510 But what that presupposes is that, oh, there's 00:50:50.510 --> 00:50:53.050 something lacking in me that I cannot be my potential 00:50:53.050 --> 00:50:55.110 right now in the present moment, and that in 00:50:55.110 --> 00:50:57.889 the future, I will eventually arrive there. That's 00:50:57.889 --> 00:51:00.670 the trap. Every one of these parts, it's never 00:51:00.670 --> 00:51:04.230 ending, right? Like, all right, once I make this 00:51:04.230 --> 00:51:06.309 much money, then I will feel successful. Well, 00:51:06.349 --> 00:51:08.699 that's short. short -lived and then they have 00:51:08.699 --> 00:51:10.519 to have a bigger goal and then a bigger goal 00:51:10.519 --> 00:51:13.360 and a bigger goal it's a rabbit hole right so 00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:17.519 that's what parts do so there is a fear of some 00:51:17.519 --> 00:51:21.820 experience or belief that this part is trying 00:51:21.820 --> 00:51:24.480 to prevent you from so if you don't reach your 00:51:24.480 --> 00:51:26.940 potential then that would mean what about you 00:51:26.940 --> 00:51:31.480 like if you didn't like achieve or become this 00:51:31.480 --> 00:51:34.599 idealized version of yourself what would that 00:51:34.599 --> 00:51:41.860 mean about you That you're what? I don't know. 00:51:42.039 --> 00:51:45.059 It's like, I don't know if I'd hesitate to just 00:51:45.059 --> 00:51:50.019 say, like, I'm a failure. I don't know. I think 00:51:50.019 --> 00:51:52.820 I very much have the world point of view that, 00:51:52.820 --> 00:51:57.260 you know, I am just, in a sense, I am just another 00:51:57.260 --> 00:52:01.099 person on this planet. You know, it's all, you 00:52:01.099 --> 00:52:05.340 know, what I make of it. Maybe I'd have an impact 00:52:05.340 --> 00:52:10.940 on the world. Maybe not but And what if I were 00:52:10.940 --> 00:52:13.199 to tell you that actually probably is the belief 00:52:13.199 --> 00:52:17.309 is I am I am a failure and that that part is 00:52:17.309 --> 00:52:19.250 trying to protect you from experiencing that 00:52:19.250 --> 00:52:21.449 because you already even talked about it. I had 00:52:21.449 --> 00:52:23.429 this business venture and I failed at it. So 00:52:23.429 --> 00:52:26.469 you're already kind of living in that dichotomy. 00:52:26.630 --> 00:52:29.610 And every time you experience a perceived failure, 00:52:29.789 --> 00:52:31.429 failure doesn't exist, by the way, it's just 00:52:31.429 --> 00:52:33.750 a word. Every time you experience that perceived 00:52:33.750 --> 00:52:35.269 failure, and especially this one, because it 00:52:35.269 --> 00:52:37.710 was important to you and you really wanted it 00:52:37.710 --> 00:52:39.750 to work and it didn't work. So there was more 00:52:39.750 --> 00:52:42.329 pain associated with it. So what that means is 00:52:42.329 --> 00:52:47.420 it's going to be harder to step out of uh the 00:52:47.420 --> 00:52:49.639 nine to five and start something new because 00:52:49.639 --> 00:52:52.039 that part has gotten stronger because it's like 00:52:52.039 --> 00:52:55.480 see see like we're not doing that again we're 00:52:55.480 --> 00:52:57.199 not experiencing that again we're not going to 00:52:57.199 --> 00:52:59.280 experience that failure again because all these 00:52:59.280 --> 00:53:02.599 parts are trying to do is is uh avoid that that 00:53:02.599 --> 00:53:06.599 emotional pain connected to that wound so if 00:53:06.599 --> 00:53:09.119 i were to assert that actually is the driving 00:53:09.119 --> 00:53:12.940 force and um And until you resolve that parts 00:53:12.940 --> 00:53:18.300 conflict, you will continue to live in that world 00:53:18.300 --> 00:53:21.300 of what can I do? Like, it's going to be a little 00:53:21.300 --> 00:53:24.340 confusing because you want to step forward in 00:53:24.340 --> 00:53:25.880 entrepreneurship, but there's going to be something 00:53:25.880 --> 00:53:28.059 always trying to talk you out of it. And that's 00:53:28.059 --> 00:53:29.820 what the part's doing. And I can see it. I can 00:53:29.820 --> 00:53:31.639 see it when you talk about it. It is that internal 00:53:31.639 --> 00:53:36.019 conflict. And I'll just finish off by saying 00:53:36.019 --> 00:53:39.800 failure doesn't exist. It's just a word. it's 00:53:39.800 --> 00:53:42.599 just a word if you continue moving forward you 00:53:42.599 --> 00:53:46.079 can't fail right so let's give an example because 00:53:46.079 --> 00:53:47.719 i know a little bit about your ultra running 00:53:47.719 --> 00:53:51.360 you did you technically failed at the 100 mile 00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:53.940 race which means you did not finish it correct 00:53:53.940 --> 00:53:56.300 is that right yeah that was actually my first 00:53:56.300 --> 00:54:00.039 ever dnf in any form of race yeah which is amazing 00:54:00.039 --> 00:54:03.670 like i would not even be able to do 13 miles 00:54:03.670 --> 00:54:07.050 right now in this period of my life so um so 00:54:07.050 --> 00:54:12.030 do you see that as a failure i you know i did 00:54:12.030 --> 00:54:15.510 i see it as like technically a failure like i 00:54:15.510 --> 00:54:18.250 didn't make it to the finish line yeah um but 00:54:18.250 --> 00:54:21.030 like i said i think i just have a better have 00:54:21.030 --> 00:54:23.409 a better mentality about that part of my life 00:54:23.409 --> 00:54:28.010 yeah um and you know i think the i i failed the 00:54:28.010 --> 00:54:31.449 race but it also i think the race went about 00:54:31.449 --> 00:54:34.949 as well as it could have you know there weren't 00:54:34.949 --> 00:54:38.030 any once there weren't any external factors the 00:54:38.030 --> 00:54:41.969 weather was great i didn't get injured um you 00:54:41.969 --> 00:54:44.829 know things of that didn't get sick so did you 00:54:44.829 --> 00:54:47.150 learn something did you learn from that yeah 00:54:47.150 --> 00:54:49.730 that is another another thing is i definitely 00:54:49.730 --> 00:54:53.570 learned a lot and you know that's it makes me 00:54:53.570 --> 00:54:56.070 feel more confident once i get get back into 00:54:56.070 --> 00:54:59.369 the sport a bit more um than my likelihood of 00:54:59.369 --> 00:55:06.320 uh finishing you know is much higher now um so 00:55:06.320 --> 00:55:09.059 yeah it's it's uh yeah so then i need to apply 00:55:09.059 --> 00:55:14.179 to that other aspect of my life right so that's 00:55:14.179 --> 00:55:17.559 a prime example of like in this area of your 00:55:17.559 --> 00:55:20.880 life it's not really i'm a failure it's i see 00:55:20.880 --> 00:55:24.300 it as i failed at this thing although I know 00:55:24.300 --> 00:55:26.019 what to do next and I'm going to continue moving 00:55:26.019 --> 00:55:27.659 forward. So technically you're not a failure 00:55:27.659 --> 00:55:29.800 because if you, in this area of life, if you 00:55:29.800 --> 00:55:31.059 really thought you were a failure, you would 00:55:31.059 --> 00:55:33.139 stop racing and would never do a hundred mile 00:55:33.139 --> 00:55:34.860 race again, but you're not going to do that. 00:55:34.920 --> 00:55:37.380 You're going to do it again. So it's just feedback. 00:55:37.760 --> 00:55:40.360 And that's one of the presuppositions of NLP. 00:55:40.619 --> 00:55:42.199 There's no such thing as failure. There's only 00:55:42.199 --> 00:55:44.559 feedback. So you did this thing, you got feedback, 00:55:44.639 --> 00:55:46.159 you learned, you're going to do something different 00:55:46.159 --> 00:55:48.679 next time. If you apply that to everything else, 00:55:48.679 --> 00:55:51.659 then you'd be golden. But the part, until the 00:55:51.659 --> 00:55:53.909 part gets resolved. It's going to continue to 00:55:53.909 --> 00:55:56.969 try to resist. It's trying to sabotage. It's 00:55:56.969 --> 00:55:58.530 going to do everything under the sun in these 00:55:58.530 --> 00:56:01.869 other areas of life. So that just paints a greater 00:56:01.869 --> 00:56:04.010 picture of what's really going on inside of you, 00:56:04.050 --> 00:56:08.230 right? Yeah, absolutely. And it's those different 00:56:08.230 --> 00:56:12.630 pieces of life. Like ultra running, it's more 00:56:12.630 --> 00:56:17.730 of a hobby. My livelihood, my income, my future 00:56:17.730 --> 00:56:22.639 in ways doesn't pivot on that as much. you know 00:56:22.639 --> 00:56:24.460 it's it's yeah it's interesting the the kind 00:56:24.460 --> 00:56:27.079 of lessons are the same you know just there's 00:56:27.079 --> 00:56:32.119 that sense of this one's more important or scarier 00:56:32.119 --> 00:56:35.719 than the other it's so good you said that because 00:56:35.719 --> 00:56:40.940 that is how the ego operates and like ultimately 00:56:40.940 --> 00:56:44.119 if i were to go a little bit deeper it would 00:56:44.119 --> 00:56:46.940 probably be like you are attached to achieving 00:56:46.940 --> 00:56:50.139 some kind of success so therefore you feel like 00:56:50.139 --> 00:56:54.820 you're good enough or worthy enough to be who 00:56:54.820 --> 00:56:58.599 you are. So your value and worth is connected 00:56:58.599 --> 00:57:02.039 to this thing called success now. And because 00:57:02.039 --> 00:57:04.920 it's not a hobby, like it's different. The hobby 00:57:04.920 --> 00:57:07.579 is different. Like there's something inside of 00:57:07.579 --> 00:57:09.400 you that thinks you have to have some type of 00:57:09.400 --> 00:57:11.800 success and that's probably monetary or status 00:57:11.800 --> 00:57:15.219 or something in order to feel like you have value 00:57:15.219 --> 00:57:18.900 and that you're valuable to the tribe or to people 00:57:18.900 --> 00:57:20.980 around you or other people see you that way. 00:57:21.759 --> 00:57:24.739 And I would say that's another paradigm that 00:57:24.739 --> 00:57:26.840 you need to look at and resolve. Does that make 00:57:26.840 --> 00:57:30.019 sense? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But that's suffering 00:57:30.019 --> 00:57:35.719 because it's never going to stop because that 00:57:35.719 --> 00:57:37.920 part of your ego is always going to be searching 00:57:37.920 --> 00:57:41.079 for the next thing of success. And then as soon 00:57:41.079 --> 00:57:42.739 as you hit a milestone, it's not going to be 00:57:42.739 --> 00:57:45.800 good enough. Yeah. Right? It never ends. And 00:57:45.800 --> 00:57:48.019 that's the trap. That's the school. That's the 00:57:48.019 --> 00:57:51.199 hardest part about the school is self -mastery 00:57:51.199 --> 00:57:53.860 and understanding what's going on. And NLP was 00:57:53.860 --> 00:57:57.219 the thing that showed me all of those things, 00:57:57.280 --> 00:57:59.539 parts, limiting beliefs, what's really driving 00:57:59.539 --> 00:58:03.079 stuff. And now I can help other people with it. 00:58:03.179 --> 00:58:06.380 So that's like a gift to me that I get to help 00:58:06.380 --> 00:58:09.409 people do that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I 00:58:09.409 --> 00:58:12.050 think we're getting close to the end of our time 00:58:12.050 --> 00:58:14.809 here. But my my last comment with that. Yeah, 00:58:14.909 --> 00:58:17.989 on that on that point, I think with how people, 00:58:18.150 --> 00:58:20.690 you know, like, like you're saying we in a world 00:58:20.690 --> 00:58:23.369 where resources are pretty abundant and easily 00:58:23.369 --> 00:58:26.769 available, then yeah, our brains do shift from 00:58:26.769 --> 00:58:30.909 surviving, just surviving tomorrow, you know, 00:58:30.909 --> 00:58:33.369 not getting eaten by the lion, having enough 00:58:33.369 --> 00:58:37.090 food to eat, then our brains can spend a lot 00:58:37.090 --> 00:58:41.090 more time on you know oh what is success or you 00:58:41.090 --> 00:58:42.809 know how much money do i need to make and all 00:58:42.809 --> 00:58:45.650 those things i think that's a that's a big big 00:58:45.650 --> 00:58:48.489 problem big emotional and mental problem in the 00:58:48.489 --> 00:58:52.650 world um and yeah with that i like you're saying 00:58:52.650 --> 00:58:55.510 that's uh that's your specialty that's how you 00:58:55.510 --> 00:58:58.510 can help people so finish off here, a little 00:58:58.510 --> 00:59:00.789 red carpet, let the listeners know what you're 00:59:00.789 --> 00:59:03.389 about, how they can get in contact and what you 00:59:03.389 --> 00:59:06.050 can do for them. Great. I appreciate that. I 00:59:06.050 --> 00:59:11.190 will say that you can find me online, The Mind 00:59:11.190 --> 00:59:14.750 Guy in Denver. My website is themindguy .net. 00:59:15.630 --> 00:59:18.610 And you can book a free consultation. But typically, 00:59:18.730 --> 00:59:21.329 I bring people through a 15 -hour process for 00:59:21.329 --> 00:59:23.170 a major breakthrough. And that's what I do is 00:59:23.170 --> 00:59:25.889 I find the parts conflicts. I find the core beliefs. 00:59:25.909 --> 00:59:28.329 I find the root cause of the problem. And then 00:59:28.329 --> 00:59:31.929 we clear those out. We reprogram. And then we 00:59:31.929 --> 00:59:35.889 also install things on the identity level so 00:59:35.889 --> 00:59:38.969 that instead of having to do things to be successful, 00:59:39.090 --> 00:59:42.969 for example, their identity is that they are 00:59:42.969 --> 00:59:46.320 successful. So they live in that reality. So 00:59:46.320 --> 00:59:48.659 they're not chasing success. They already know 00:59:48.659 --> 00:59:51.320 they are that. And that is really the powerful 00:59:51.320 --> 00:59:53.320 way to operate through life is shifting on the 00:59:53.320 --> 00:59:57.400 identity level. So I appreciate the time. I really 00:59:57.400 --> 01:00:00.019 enjoyed myself. And thank you for going through 01:00:00.019 --> 01:00:02.019 that exercise and being honest and open. And 01:00:02.019 --> 01:00:04.340 I think a lot of your listeners are going to 01:00:04.340 --> 01:00:08.440 get a lot of value out of this metamodel and 01:00:08.440 --> 01:00:11.059 going a little bit deeper with what you're dealing 01:00:11.059 --> 01:00:13.610 with. Yeah, absolutely. I really appreciate your 01:00:13.610 --> 01:00:17.230 time. I'm glad our paths crossed this week. And 01:00:17.230 --> 01:00:19.469 I feel like a lot of these topics, we can only 01:00:19.469 --> 01:00:23.090 scratch the surface. So I think a part two definitely 01:00:23.090 --> 01:00:25.710 needs to be in the future here. Yeah, I would 01:00:25.710 --> 01:00:27.730 love that. That'd be great. Sounds good. Thanks, 01:00:27.809 --> 01:00:30.610 Austin. Thanks. I hope today's episode added 01:00:30.610 --> 01:00:33.389 some value to your own pursuits. Please subscribe 01:00:33.389 --> 01:00:35.949 and take a brief moment to share if you think 01:00:35.949 --> 01:00:38.289 this could help others. To learn more about my 01:00:38.289 --> 01:00:41.690 background, follow me on Instagram at TheEnduranceBeast. 01:00:41.710 --> 01:00:44.230 To support yourself as well as the podcast, check 01:00:44.230 --> 01:00:47.050 out my affiliate links below. Thank you for listening, 01:00:47.110 --> 01:00:49.469 and as always, I look forward to sharing the 01:00:49.469 --> 01:00:50.030 next episode.