Hello, my name is Austin Shadle, and welcome
back to the Life Endurance Podcast, where we
explore methods of unlocking your true potential
in the greatest endurance race we all partake
in, life. Joining me today is Phoenix Rising.
He is a Matrix Hacker Mindset Coach. We met just
earlier this week at a business event. I thought
you had a really interesting story and thought
that your work really relates a lot to this podcast,
so I appreciate you being on today. Yeah, thanks
for having me, Austin. Glad to be here. Maybe
just a quick summary of what it is that you do.
Kick it off there. Great. Yeah, so I help people
in really big ways. I call myself a mental reprogrammer,
really a matrix hacker, because once you realize
that we live very much... in a simulated world
where there's computer code behind everything
and your mind works like a computer as well then
you can influence computer code to get the things
you want in life and that's what i really do
is i help people get the things they want in
life and oftentimes people have been trying for
decades to get something that they want or overcome
a problem that has just been a pattern For a
very long time and in a very short period of
time, I'm able to help people resolve that. So
I use different tools. I use hypnosis. I use
neurolinguistic programming, timeline therapy,
parts integration, and some other tools. So I
do some energy work and some quantum shifting
work. So that's kind of a general summary of
what I do. Yeah, yeah, lots. We were talking
a bit about that and lots of, honestly, I think,
fascinating topics. However you view the world,
I think there's a lot of different ways and tools
to get to the results you want. And kind of thinking
of everything like coding definitely appeals
to me. You know, the engineering background,
very kind of objective thinker. So I'm definitely
interested to dig into that. And also the hypnosis
item. I've always been... interested in that
you know my only my only real exposure is the
you know people that come to parties and make
people do goofy things but i've also heard lots
about how you know it can really help people
and really it makes sense in my head i mean if
you if you you can get somebody to walk around
quacking like a duck and seeming to fully believe
that then that's obviously getting into some
neural pathways whatever you want to call it
and it can definitely Be a form of a tool, so
excited to dig into how you learned and utilized
that to help others. Maybe before that, what
brought you into this path? That's a deep, long
background question there. Yeah, I mean, do you
want the long story that I shared with you briefly
the other day, or do you want the shorter one?
It doesn't matter. Let's dig into it. We got
time, and I think stories have a lot of power
behind them. Yeah, so, you know, it was out of
necessity. And I hit rock bottom at the age of
29. I was an alcoholic. I was an alcoholic for
a decade. I had quit shortly. I dropped out of
college and quit shortly there for a year and
a half, but then I bounced back into it. But
alcohol was like my best friend. So it helped
me deal with my emotions. helped me be the life
of the party, and I couldn't see my life without
it. But after a while, it became a real problem.
I didn't get joy out of it. And then from that
place, I really didn't think I was going to be
here much longer. And a psychic reading saved
my life, believe it or not. And that gave me
the will to stick around. gave me all these things
in my future to look forward to. And I got excited
and I was like, okay, I'll move forward. And
it was kind of a slow progression, but I ended
up quitting smoking cigarettes to start. My friend
had quit smoking cigarettes. one session some
guy's living room in western Massachusetts and
hypnosis is not a popular thing in western Massachusetts
in a lot of pockets of the world hypnosis is
not very popular And yeah, one session I quit
smoking. And then when I was ready to quit drinking
about two years after that, I did one session
of hypnosis. I went back to the same guy and
I quit drinking. And that was probably the most
important decision in my life because alcohol
created so many problems, so many damn problems.
So it felt really good and my life improved.
And then eventually. I still felt stuck. I still
felt this social anxiety. I still felt like I
was so constrained in so many different areas.
I had low self -esteem. And I ended up doing
a personal development seminar probably three
or four years after I quit drinking. It was four
years. And that created a huge shift where I
bought a van. I rescued a dog. I quit my job.
I traveled the country. And I was gonna move
to Los Angeles to become a movie star. That was
my my goal and I was in LA for four days and
I absolutely hated it it was just anxiety the
whole time it felt like There's just too many
people and I decided to go north on the Pacific
Coast Highway Had a little bit of a panic attack
because I was like that was my plan I really
hope I don't have to go back to Massachusetts
with my tail between my legs And but I was like,
nope, you don't have anywhere you need to be.
So I calmed down. And then the next day, this
idea popped in my head to see a hypnotist in
Seattle. And it was a really great experience.
And then she gave me like, if you ever want to
do this, this is the school to go to. And she
wrote it down on a piece of paper I put in my
pocket. Didn't want to become a hypnotist. Every
hypnotist I ever met was weird. Like, this is
not something I want to do. And eventually I
did a sublet in Denver for five weeks because
I didn't want to sleep in my van anymore. And
I found that piece of paper and ended up calling
the schools all over my head. I had no idea what
they were talking about. And yet I still went
there because the semester started September
9th and my sublet ended September 7th. So I took
it as a sign. I went down there, and it was one
of the best experiences of my life. And at that
hypnosis school, I said to myself, this is what
everybody needs to learn. If everybody knew how
their mind works, it'd be a complete game changer,
truly. So that's kind of the story of how I got
into hypnosis. Yeah, fascinating. And as you
were telling me that story, everybody has their
own different problems, but I feel like... sometimes
the sources and anxieties are kind of the same.
And, uh, I'm actually, I'm 29 right now and,
you know, hitting, hitting that, seeing that
30 coming over the horizon. And, you know, you
start thinking about your, your path in life
and, you know, really start to analyze the, the
things that hold you back. Um, you know, unfortunately
alcohol and things like that aren't, aren't my
cup of tea, but, you know, certainly, certainly
have my own, uh, uh, Things hold me back. Let's
get into that, if you don't mind. If I just ask
you that question, what's holding you back? What
comes up? Because we have all the answers within
us. I'm just curious. Questions are powerful.
So what is holding you back, you feel? Definitely
the classic imposter syndrome. Just had a lot
of, I don't know, kind of ups and downs. Things
don't go quite as you expect. Trying to, you
know, just make sense of all of it. Spent a lot
of time, really spent a lot of time alone. You
know, school, college was a pretty lonely time
for me. Right out of that, worked a really intense
job. Basically, I was working around the clock
for a couple of years. Then COVID hit, you know,
so even when I had time to, you know, get to
know people, the world just kind of shut down.
Then I... Moved to Colorado. That was a really
positive change for me. Getting out of Iowa,
a place that just didn't really, really suit
me. I love being in the mountains and stuff.
And now I'd say I'd have fun for a couple of
years, which I think was much needed after about
a decade of just school and work. But now I'm
kind of getting back to looking more to the future
and to get out of that past mindset. uh like
you're saying you know past failures or where
maybe i didn't live up to my potential um so
yeah really it's gonna be i think it's gonna
be an interesting year um you know i try not
to put such an emphasis on oh it's january 1st
you know it's it's really just another day but
yeah a lot to think a lot to come this year a
lot of a lot of things to figure out Yeah, I
think the 20s are the time of figuring stuff
out. And I'll tell you, there's a little bit
of a kind of a paradigm that's very common is
that for men, especially around the age of 35,
is when you really start paving your own path.
And before that, you're really just like trial
and error and just trying to like. see what you
like, what you dislike. A lot of people that
end up in the corporate world, they'll do that
until about the age of 35, and then they'll really
start questioning. It's like, why am I doing
this? This is not giving me the joy that I really
was looking for. So then you're like, that's
when you really start to question, what do I
want to do? And the sooner that you can ask that
question, I think it's really powerful in doing
those thought experiments. the thing that I find
that is really missing is that people don't really
know who they are. They don't really know what
they enjoy to do. Like a question that really
will tell you a lot is the question, like if
you could do something every day for the rest
of your life and just give you great joy, what
would it be? I could guess just knowing you a
little bit, you might say running, but I'm curious
to know if there'd be something else. Like if
you could do something every day for the rest
of your life that you would just love, what would
it be? Yeah. I mean, yeah, running, running and
spending time in the mountains is certainly up
there. Um, but I also, I'm, I'm very interested
in business kind of business operations and it's,
uh, it's something I've been trying to get back
into and remember what it is that I'm so passionate
about that. And, you know, obviously being interested
in business is probably a little safer bet in
terms of, you know, trying to make a career and
provide for, you know, say a future family than,
you know, just ultra running. Yeah, really think
like you just mentioned the whole trying to remember
or figure out who you really are or remember
who you are. I think that's something that I've
kind of. lost the last couple years um took a
year to try to go out on my own uh figure out
hey is there something i can do on my own for
business uh kind of fell flat on my face and
then you know like i said spent a couple years
just enjoying life uh you know now that i had
access to the mountains and um you know kind
of good and bad outcome of that you know i enjoyed
life for a while but i also think i kind of lost
some parts of myself along the way so this year's
really gonna be about kind of figuring out again
who i am yeah that kind of path path forward
and that's you know i think a lot of it you know
need to take my own own advice that i put on
this podcast but always interested in how to
break that down and how to how to figure out
what your your purpose and um the things that
you should be spending your time and energy and
effort on. So maybe ask you, what are those kind
of first steps that you run people through to
help them maybe go from that stage of feeling
lost to starting to figure out maybe who they
really are? Yeah, it's a great question. I think
for me, a lot of what I do is I teach people.
And the teaching and education process, it really
helps reframe things, like things that was never
taught to them. Once you really understand what
drives human behavior and what forces are at
play and what drivers are at play is really the
greatest game changer because there's something
that we have that's called the ego. And the ego,
you know, there's a lot of different definitions
for it. But a great way to think about the ego
is the character that's created that helps you
survive life. And the way that it creates that
character is around being accepted in your communities,
right? So, you know, some people develop their
personality and certain strong suits to survive,
you know, the people pleaser, the... Some people
use comedy, you know, and they don't take life
too seriously. So therefore they have to be the
constant comedian, you know, but yet they don't
really have the direction in their life. So the
challenge is, is like if you grew up in a home
where your parents are really being driven by
their ego and survival, then you're going to
learn to model that too. That's really the battle
that we're up against is the ego is doing things
for inauthentic reasons. It's about having the
social acceptance, right? Oh, let's get this
really high paying job and then get this nice
car and then buy this mansion and then buy a
bigger house. And it's more about social status
and moving up the social hierarchy. They want
to be on the top of the pyramid. But the true
authentic path is actually leading from your
heart. So the ego wants things, your heart desires
things. So it's the difference between the conditioning
the ego has been programmed with and what you're
supposed to do. Like anytime you use the word
suppose, that's driven from the ego. right um
you're not supposed to do anything you don't
have to do anything if you want to do nothing
that's okay but the ego freaks out because it's
like well if everybody thinks i'm not doing anything
then they'll think i'm lazy or i'm not holding
my own or you know like whatever you know there's
some people that go and live on an ashram and
they meditate all the day like all day long right
like no judgment there i think the the true path
is is actually getting out of your head not letting
the stories from the ego and what it's supposed
to be to to disconnect from that knowing that's
not the true self that is a machine a mechanism
that that is connected to survival and and going
into the heart and really being led by what excites
you what are you passionate about like if every
day you woke up and you're like what is the thing
that excites me most i promise you you will not
be led astray. Like do that thing. And then also
find a way to try to monetize it so that you
can find abundance monetarily. You know, I knew
someone that quit their job and they loved pickleball.
They became a pickleball coach and they're really
good at it. And, you know, and they created this
course, this program, and it was $1 ,500. And,
you know, they'd work with people for six months
and not six months, six weeks. And they had a
huge following. So. Like you can monetize anything.
Just look out there and the creative ways that
people monetize. So I think instead of trying
to figure out in your head what to do business
wise, what would you want to do that would give
you passion and excitement to do every day? And
then the figuring out the monetization will come
after. That would be my advice. Yeah. Yeah. That's
a really interesting take on ego. That's a very
common topic in my podcast. But I don't think
I've ever framed it in the way of that's the
part of your brain that's a little more wired
towards survival. And I think that really does
explain a lot of human behavior and can definitely
show how people can take maybe some things to
extremes or definitely how it can really hold
you back. That's definitely something I've struggled
with and I've spent a number of years trying
to... override that previous coding in my brain
um grew up in a you know great family but very
very typical midwest kind of middle class uh
play it safe follow the kind of textbook path
for life which sometimes i'm almost a little
jealous of people that you know are content with
that you know it sounds you know it's kind of
nice and simple go to go to the job come home
do a little hobby, spend time with the family,
go to bed, wake up, do it again. If that works
for you, it's amazing. I think I've definitely
found I'm seeking for a little more out of life,
and that's an interesting perspective on how
to kind of look in at your own ego, and I think
that definitely kind of adds another layer for
me to consider, especially going into what will
hopefully be a pretty pivotal year here. Yeah,
can I say something to that? I'll just say how
many people are actually content with that kind
of life, if you really think about it. From my
experience, it really, you know, I worked a corporate
job for nine years. I was a civil engineer. That's
what I did before this. And every single day,
I almost hated going into work, you know. I was
just, I had a lot of fear and past programming,
and I was dealing with a lot of shame. low self
-esteem and um and and the interesting thing
is i actually graduated my high school class
most likely to succeed so in a way um i had a
lot of evidence that i could i could do just
about anything i wanted but yet my unconscious
saboteurs the parts of me that were created in
my early childhood ended up getting stronger
and then ended up sabotaging me so That's what
we're up against. And I think that's what happens
to most people is that everybody as a kid are
taught, what's your dream? What's your dream?
What do you want to do when you grow up? And
people start moving in that direction. And then
all of a sudden, either dream crushers or things
get hard or they feel like they don't have the
ability or resources. They create their own personal
limitations in their mind, either externally
influenced or internally. And they settle. And
then they lie to themselves and they say, oh,
my life is great. My life is great. And I did
that for years. I'm like, oh, I have this great
paying job. I became the manager of the department.
And and I was doing better than my parents were
doing at the time. Right. So in a way, you can
convince yourself. But deep down, I was very
unhappy and unfulfilled. So I really respect
people that. continue to move and be ambitious
even though they're up against that fear of failure
or their own personal demons so um if the only
way you can achieve your dreams if you give up
right so les brown once said most dreams end
up in the graveyard so um My motto is always
hold on to my dreams and just keep moving forward
and the right opportunities. And that was hypnosis
and neurolinguistic programming and the tools
to be able to shift my internal world. Because
when you make that shift, your external world
becomes so much easier. There's less resistance.
So, yeah, that's how I kind of see it. Yeah.
Yeah. And again, the more you talk, the more
my brain keeps kind of looking into that ego
level. And I think. Where it's held me back a
lot in the past is, I don't know, partially trying
to think of where these things come from within
me. In the past, I've struggled a lot with depression.
But at the same time, I've always strived to
be a person that, no matter how I feel, I really
don't want to bring anyone else down. caused
me a lot to you know be similar like you're saying
like oh you just you just say ever tell everybody
you know things are good i'm fine yeah and i
think maybe called a bit of a new year's resolution
for me is gonna be something along the lines
of more just being more honest like open like
not not care if it's gonna i don't know rub somebody
or the wrong way or surprise them um so i think
yeah that's that's really important is just being
honest with yourself and then being able to realize
that you're not fully being honest with yourself
and maybe coming to that realization by how you
talk to others and how yeah how how you interact
with others could be yeah good a good signal
of that that hopefully people take away and consider
that from this episode Yeah. And I'll say like
vulnerability and authenticity are like the greatest
like attractors for connection. So for someone
that has felt lonely, the ego tells us we can't
share our weaknesses. We can't share our flaws.
We can't tell people that we're depressed because
then they won't want to be around us or we'll
be a burden to them or something like that. all
constructs of the ego the character right because
the ego's making up all these different rules
and and i'm gonna i'm gonna share a little story
that will paint a picture of of really how the
ego has evolved over time like think about our
great great ancestors right where um we kind
of you know traveled individually or in very
very small groups like two or three um individuals
but this was before language and then um all
of a sudden we learned how to use sound to name
objects and things and then eventually like an
alphabet was created and and we could use words
to label people and things so this was like the
evolution of our you know our species and our
ancestors so what really the reason we became
the top species on this planet was because of
our ability to communicate because now we could
work together and then we develop tribes now
all of a sudden um you have certain people that
are really good at certain things so now people
have roles and they focus their time and energy
on that this person's a really good farmer this
person's a really good hunter this person is
a really good weaver This person is really wise.
He should be the chief and make decisions for
the tribe, right? So that allowed For more efficiency
more productivity not only that now that you're
in groups things like predators and starvation
and shelter They become less of a threat. So
all of a sudden what becomes the biggest threat?
the biggest threat becomes getting kicked out
of your tribe because now you have to learn how
to survive on your own. Now you have predators.
Now you have to worry about the elements. Now
you have to worry about bumping into another
tribe in which immediately you're a threat and
probably will be killed. So the ego understood.
The ego is very smart. The ego understood that
getting kicked out of the tribe now becomes the
most dangerous thing. And not only that, there's
something called the social hierarchy. And that's
a construct of the ego. So people that are more
valuable or perceived as more valuable, right?
Oh, this person is a great warrior, right? Now
that person moves up the social hierarchy and
they get greater benefits. And that still happens
today. You get treated better. You get fame.
You get praise. You get better selection of mates.
You get to eat first. You get to eat more. But
now if you're at the bottom of the social hierarchy,
now you start freaking out. The ego is like,
oh, no, we have to do better. So therefore, we
do a lot of inauthentic things in order to be
accepted. And if you really think about it, that's
really what we're all doing is because the ego
just is looking for social acceptance because
in its way of thinking, it thinks that if you
get kicked out of the tribe, even today, you
will die. And like a lot of the inauthenticities
and stories and defense mechanisms and behaviors
that are not true to ourselves are really...
grounded in that. And it's kind of absurd because
you could go on meetup .com tomorrow and find
a new tribe. You can go find a new sports team.
You can do improv. You can find tribes in so
many different ways. So getting kicked out of
your tribe is not a threat anymore. But yet we
are so conditioned and not taught about this
driving force that is actually not serving us.
If that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. And yeah,
that brought a topic to my mind. what i've been
realizing in the world specifically on the side
i think a little more for for men when we're
talking about tribes and exactly what you're
just talking about uh and how men you know we
tend to be a lot less open even even with each
other uh no typically on the female side they
they chat a lot like i when i talk to my girlfriend
she's just like oh we just talk about everything
like they just kind of naturally her and her
friends talk about everything and that's typically
very much less common uh on the the male side
of the equation and then in this modern world
you know like you said old days you're very very
dependent on the tribe um but in this modern
world when resources are more readily available
and we have just so many distractions you know
anything everything on the internet um I think
there's a lot and something I've struggled with
is almost kind of finding a tribe or like people
to open up with and relate to. And I know you
kind of touched on, you know, again, that's the
ego. Like you can't go on a meetup. There's a
lot of options out there. But maybe I think you'd
be an interesting person. You know, what's your
take on how you kind of see men in the world
today? I assume you probably have a lot of clients
that, you know, kind of struggle with that. Kind
of open -ended question there. No, it's a great
question. And I do think I understand this from
a unique perspective. And interestingly enough,
I experienced a really intense trauma at a young
age. And that was the smoking gun that caused
me to become an alcoholic. It happened when I
was three. And that caused me to lose trust because
it was a family member. And when you lose that
trust, you make a decision like we got to do
it on our own. So a lot of what we do as young
children is we model the people around us and
primarily our authority figures. So the first
part of answering that question is that this
has been going on for a long time. is that men
have not felt safe to express themselves and
express their emotions. So there's this expectation.
And oftentimes it's seen as weakness to be vulnerable
and express things like that. So there's a lot
of judgment with that. There's a lot of bravado.
There's a lot of, oh, the alpha male is not supposed
to express their feelings in that way, which
is not. Not true, right? And, you know, men that
can be very vulnerable, it's very powerful and
connecting. It's more so if someone is in that
victim mentality that really looks unfavorable
for men. The question really is, and I think
a lot of people understand that. So we model
our parents, and I'm sure your dad's similar
in that respect with not expressing their emotions
very strongly, but it's a cultural thing. That's
the first thing. But then the second is, is why
and who teaches us that? And unfortunately, the
reason is, is because of the masculine -feminine
dynamics relationship. As much as women say they
want, um men to be vulnerable and open i've talked
to so many men and so many women and listened
to so many podcasts that uh what ends up happening
in relationship women you know their partners
are a source of their safety and feeling safe
and secure in the world so therefore when men
do open up and share vulnerably like i don't
know how i'm gonna make things work financially
or i'm like really scared right now um that level
of the unsafety when that shows up in men the
partner feels very unsafe too and i've also heard
that it makes men look very unattractive to them
so that has been going on for a long time is
because men have the burden of being this provider
and being the source of safety in relationship,
they have learned that they can't say certain
things. So if you can't say it to your partner,
you know, you can't, you know, you don't feel
safe saying it anywhere. And that's where men's
groups are really good because you can bring
that stuff there. And that's like the only solution
that I've really found is like, it really doesn't
work to share the things that you're afraid of
and the things that. make you feel insecure and
unsafe to your partner but in a men's group the
right men they can hold the space for you and
they can help you through that so that would
be the solution to it does that make sense yeah
yeah absolutely it's a lot of a lot of interesting
things we could go in and unpack there and open
up on my side that i recently joined like very
recently last week joined a virtual like men's
group so i'm i'm just starting that journey i'd
say and uh so it's it's definitely it's definitely
intimidating but really trying to work myself
to really dive into that and you know that's
especially those kind of groups it's you get
what you put in um that's certainly what the
the leaders say when when they bring in a new
person maybe that'll be a topic i talk about
more in this coming year as i do a bit more but
uh yeah definitely seeing more of how yeah it's
something like a men's group I don't know if
it's a matter of there not being enough of, which
I think is probably a little bit, or also maybe
the word, just getting the word out that those
kind of things exist. It's definitely something
men need to hear, and I think we need to promote
more. So yeah, yeah, it's a... Yeah, I agree
completely, and more and more are popping up,
and that's really good to see. So just like anything...
There's a little bit of stigmatism when something
new gets created and a lot of opinion and judgments,
and then eventually it becomes mainstream. So
men's groups have not quite become mainstream,
but you're right, talking about it, and it is
so necessary and important, and you don't even
understand how important it is. And if you're
a gentleman listening to this and you feel isolated
and alone, I'm telling you, a men's group. is
a place to go and find the right one like some
of them here's another problem is some of them
are kind of toxic um it's it's really about get
strong and tough and and you know they kind of
bypass the emotion part but like i'm going to
tell you everything i've learned on this journey
the source of all of our problems is the suppression
of emotions and everything i do with clients
is about finding those emotions and clearing
them out understanding them, processing, installing
the learnings. So in a way, you are literally
holding yourself back by bypassing your emotions,
and that is the most dangerous thing you could
do. I suppressed emotions for so long, and then
eventually the pain became so unbearable, the
only way I could get through life is through
alcohol. And that's where people have addictions
and bad habits and all that kind of stuff. That
is a symptom and reflection of suppressed emotions
that they have been bypassing. Yeah. Yeah. And
that's another big, interesting point you brought
up that there's certainly some, say, toxic ones
out there that maybe even if they mean well,
they kind of focus on the wrong things a little
too much. And, you know, also, unfortunately,
those are those are the loudest people. And,
you know, when you when you have a bunch of men
that they don't know where to go and that's the
only option they hear or see online, then they're
like, well, I need something. So and then that's
where they go. So we definitely need more people
speaking out on that more vulnerable, emotional
side. I think the way men are wired, you know,
going to the gym and things of that nature certainly
are important. You know, you got to be able to
build your self -worth in certain ways. That
helps a lot for us. But yeah, I hope to see more
in the future of the kind of the full spectrum,
partially of just being a human. And then maybe
kind of bottleneck is probably a lot of... the
communities or men's groups, you know, maybe
a little more religious based. So if you're,
if you're someone like me and you're not religious,
then as kind of another vacuum, you feel like
you're in where you're, you're trying to find,
okay, you know, how, how can I meet people that,
you know, align with me and I don't have to sit
there and listen to a religious sermon for half
an hour first. But yeah, some, those are kind
of some of my thoughts there. I'm sure we could.
You know, go along with that for quite a while,
but I'm curious, the neuro -linguistic programming,
did I get that right? Yeah. I feel like I've
definitely heard that term, but maybe you could
kind of throw out a functional definition or
how you interpret that term. Yeah. So I think
NLP is a, it's a framework that really explains
what drives human behavior better than anything.
And I feel like it's the user manual for the
mind. And the history of it is in the 1970s,
there was two people. One was a grad student.
He was a systems guy and also was doing editing
for books on therapy. And then the other person
was a linguistics professor. There was a moment
where Richard Bandler, who was the systems grad
student, he was editing this book by Fritz Perl,
which is a well -known person in, I believe,
family therapy. Or gestalt therapy, actually.
And Bandler, through editing the book, he's like...
And hearing these principles and principles,
he's like, I think I can do this. So he started
doing Gestalt therapy without any schooling or
licensure or anything. And he was producing tremendous
results. And that sparked the question was like,
hmm, I wonder if you can model anybody's success
and create a framework for getting there. So
that really is what NLP is, is being able to
model other people's success and how they you
know, their conclusion after doing a lot of research
and getting a deeper understanding about how
the mind and behavior works is that if you install
and match other people's belief systems, value
systems, and match their physiology, like their
body movements, then you can literally almost
match anybody's success, right? With a certain
degree of... um restriction right like i'm 43
i'm not going to make it to the nba right i'm
not going to get there it doesn't matter how
my mindset is it doesn't matter how strong i
get i'm just not going to get there But ultimately,
anything else can happen, right? In the entrepreneur
path, that's how you do it. So for me, like recently,
I went on ChatGBT and I just got inspired by
this idea that I wanted to install this belief
that I'm like a really savvy entrepreneur. So
I went on ChatGBT and I was like, hey, go through
all the books. of all the the autobiographies
of all the very successful millionaires billionaires
and give me all the belief systems and value
systems and behaviors of these very successful
people and they gave me a whole list so what
i do is i take the that information and i install
it for myself because But ultimately, decisions
is what determines where you end up in your life,
right? The imposter syndrome, you have a decision
from your past around failure or I'm not good
enough or whatever. That decision that you made
unconsciously still shows up in your life. And
all it takes is to make a new decision of like,
I am not going to do that anymore. i'm not going
to live in that imposter syndrome i'm not going
to be not good enough i'm not going to live in
this world of failure because i'm i see myself
and i'm going to decide that i'm successful no
matter what happens so neurolinguistic program
is that framework is that that's that really
helped me see the matrix that helped me see that
the mind works like a computer and what's really
driving everything is the computer code and what's
the computer code beliefs and decisions so if
you can install the right beliefs and decisions
and you can clear out the negative and limiting
ones you could be unstoppable yeah yeah that's
a good way to put it and i think that really
intertwines well with a lot of the topics i've
covered in this podcast and one that came to
mind for me is i think something that can help
get through imposter syndrome is remembering
that who like who you are is really defined by
what you're doing now or what you do next. It
doesn't have to be defined by the past. So that's
the NLP can be that. That's the big problem.
That's where people do it reverse. It's not what
you do. Doing is a reflection. It is a feedback
system. But we think we have to do something
in order to have something in order to feel something
or be something. If I work 80 hours a week and
if I have a million dollars a year. And then
I can have the nice car. And then I can have
the nice house. Then I can have the ideal partner.
Then I can attract it because now I'm a high
value man, for example. And then I can be happy.
And then I can be fulfilled. So that is the misconception
that the fastest and easiest way to get what
you want in life is to shift your identity. So
if you're being something, right? And you don't
need... external evidence for it if you just
decide and install the belief then everything
in your behavior and everything else and what
you do will match that identity and that belief
system that is the fastest way to get what you
want in your life that if that makes sense yeah
yeah i think that's uh kind of where i was where
i was going with that is yeah yeah you can yeah
really breaking down those beliefs and values
and yeah realizing that that part of you can
change and As long as you develop those and can
stick with them, then that is the person you
are now. That is the person you become. You're
not trapped in past beliefs and values. What
are some of those steps that you take people
through to help identify those beliefs and values?
Maybe get them to realize the maybe toxic ones
they're currently in or in the past and then
develop the ones that they want to strive for.
Yeah, totally. So the people that come to me,
they have a problem, but they don't really understand
what's the driving force of it or how to change
it. And most of the time, this is the other thing
that people don't get is that the problem that
they have is the surface level problem, right?
I have a habit of alcoholism. That is the surface
level problem, but what's at the root of it?
Oh. Now that I know, it's like, oh, I have all
this shame and guilt that I've been suppressing
my entire life. You go to just about any AA meeting,
and I'm going to tell you, half the room is plagued
with guilt, right? So there's a common theme
with guilt and shame and alcoholism. And so it's
really about finding the root cause. So I really
get a better understanding of the behaviors.
And then I... ask a lot of different questions.
And something from NLP, something called the
meta model, is that you can actually, people
speak in generalities and they speak so that
there's a lot of missing information. That's
how the brain learns how to not expend a lot
of energy is to speak in generalities. So you
never actually get to the root until you get
more specific. So you can ask these questions
that chunk people down and that's the metamodel.
And then eventually you get more specific and
you can find the root belief that's actually
at the root of it. And we could go through that
exercise right now because you said you have
imposter syndrome. I bet you there's a belief
underneath there that we could find by doing
the metamodel. And I don't know if you feel comfortable
doing that. um yeah you know i mean i think we
got we got some time here and in the my the spirit
of my new year's resolution to just be more open
and honest i think i think that'd be a perfect
step to take here Okay, great. Let's do it then.
So, you know, imposter syndrome is such like,
it's such a generalized term. It can mean so
much, right? Imposter syndrome to you could mean
imposter syndrome, like someone can have a completely
different meaning of it. So give me an example
of one or two situations or behaviors where imposter
syndrome shows up for you. So I get a better
understanding of how you behave in those situations.
Yeah, I think, kind of like I alluded to before,
in the business realm, especially in, say, networking
events or business events like we met at, letting
myself portray myself as, say, like a subject
matter expert. A lot of it, I have a lot of knowledge,
and I feel like maybe part of what holds me back
is I have a lot of... I don't know if you call
it more indirect experience. Like I've been in
more support roles in the business world than
rather than, you know, the person say running
the project or like the person really with the
authority. But at the same time, I've in that
time as maybe a bit more of the follower, the
person in the background, like I utilize that
time. I really try to learn from it. And in my
own head, I'm running through how I would do
things, learning. Spending thousands of hours
of my own time learning on the side and the topics
I'm interested in. I suppose my current issues,
I don't have as much on paper. This is where
I actually did it. A little limit of a belief
in myself, a little lack of confidence in that
I'm a subject matter expert. Who says you have
to be a subject matter expert? Yeah, I guess
I try to think through if I want a potential
client to see through their eyes, what are they
looking for? Are they looking for just literal
examples? So what I'm hearing is because you
feel like you don't have the experience or the
credentials, you feel like a potential client
will see that as a what? Am I understanding that
correctly? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I'm trying to think
of what they see it as. A reason not to choose
me, not to give me money to help them. Because
that's what this is all about. Ultimately, the
exchange of money. Okay, so you don't have the
experience or the credentials. Therefore, what
does that mean about you? Yeah, I mean, I guess
in my head, I'd maybe try to turn it on myself
and say I'm not actually capable. Even though
part of me believes and knows that I am. So that's
that internal conflict you can really spiral
in. So good. NLP has this process called parts
integration. It's so powerful. But that is a
phenomenon is we create parts in stressful moments
of our life and they become like these many characters,
these many personalities that drive our behavior.
And the way that you find these parts is words
like that. There's an internal conflict. There's
part of me that knows I'm capable, but then there's
a part of me that doesn't. That is a parts conflict.
So right now, I have a tool that I could use
and do a parts integration to help integrate
those parts. But let's go a little bit deeper
because we have a belief or decision, I'm not
capable, right? I'm curious to know, let's go
like... Everything we've done so far is chunked
down to get to that point. And that's what I'm
looking for. I'm always looking for what's the
core belief. For what reason are you not capable?
Yeah, I guess my positive area is there isn't
necessarily, I'd say, a very specific or concrete
reason. I also... something that i i think is
humorous to myself is because there are other
parts of my life that i've you know i have reached
say an elite level like endurance running and
you know it's endurance running i i think maybe
i'm just i've gotten really good at wrapping
my head around it and it's you know you you do
the work and you get there but that's the same
thing with everything so you know why can't if
i've i have that kind of proof that i can do
something relatively extraordinary so you know
why do i no reason i should hold myself back
uh in another realm of life great and that that
is like that's how we try to solve problems right
there is to logically find the solution but what's
really happening is that a parts conflict the
problem will only show up part of the time versus
like a like a deep -seated limiting belief um
that's not a part that will show up all the time.
Like it'll show up in the back room all the time.
So that's why it's happening. Like that's why
this phenomenon is happening is that there's
a part of you that in certain situations creates
this narrative that you're not capable, right?
So, and I'm just curious to know if you allow
yourself to connect into this part, for what
reason are you not capable? Because sometimes
what happens is we don't want to go a little
bit deeper because we're afraid that it will
be painful. And that's why most people don't
do the deeper work is because they're afraid
of what they'll find. And they're afraid that
they're going to open up Pandora's box and then
they won't be able to get out of it. But all
that's going to happen is like you're going to
get a deeper awareness and understanding of what's
underneath that. Like, what are you afraid that
you'd find out that's that's. underneath that
you're not capable there's a deeper belief about
you that is underneath that and i'm curious to
know if you allow your unconscious mind to go
there what is that belief yeah it's uh i don't
know if it's just fear if there's like sometimes
i think i'm more fear just not living up to my
what i see as my potential Yeah. And how would
that be a problem if you didn't live to your
potential? I guess in my head, maybe kind of
that's what I've told myself my mission is, you
know, you try to find, say, some sort of meaning
of life or you think what what would what would
leave me, you know, satisfied on my deathbed.
Yeah. And I think, like you said, the kind of
general brain trying to be general is, you know,
just generally. If I live up to my potential,
whatever that means. Yeah. I don't know if that
kind of. No, it makes complete sense. It makes
complete sense. And that's the part. The part
of you is creating this narrative and story because
there's a deeper belief that it's trying to prevent
you from experiencing. So it's driving you and
driving you to reach this proverbial potential
versus realizing like. At moment to moment, we're
exhibiting our potential until we learn and we
grow, and then we have the next level of potential.
But what that presupposes is that, oh, there's
something lacking in me that I cannot be my potential
right now in the present moment, and that in
the future, I will eventually arrive there. That's
the trap. Every one of these parts, it's never
ending, right? Like, all right, once I make this
much money, then I will feel successful. Well,
that's short. short -lived and then they have
to have a bigger goal and then a bigger goal
and a bigger goal it's a rabbit hole right so
that's what parts do so there is a fear of some
experience or belief that this part is trying
to prevent you from so if you don't reach your
potential then that would mean what about you
like if you didn't like achieve or become this
idealized version of yourself what would that
mean about you That you're what? I don't know.
It's like, I don't know if I'd hesitate to just
say, like, I'm a failure. I don't know. I think
I very much have the world point of view that,
you know, I am just, in a sense, I am just another
person on this planet. You know, it's all, you
know, what I make of it. Maybe I'd have an impact
on the world. Maybe not but And what if I were
to tell you that actually probably is the belief
is I am I am a failure and that that part is
trying to protect you from experiencing that
because you already even talked about it. I had
this business venture and I failed at it. So
you're already kind of living in that dichotomy.
And every time you experience a perceived failure,
failure doesn't exist, by the way, it's just
a word. Every time you experience that perceived
failure, and especially this one, because it
was important to you and you really wanted it
to work and it didn't work. So there was more
pain associated with it. So what that means is
it's going to be harder to step out of uh the
nine to five and start something new because
that part has gotten stronger because it's like
see see like we're not doing that again we're
not experiencing that again we're not going to
experience that failure again because all these
parts are trying to do is is uh avoid that that
emotional pain connected to that wound so if
i were to assert that actually is the driving
force and um And until you resolve that parts
conflict, you will continue to live in that world
of what can I do? Like, it's going to be a little
confusing because you want to step forward in
entrepreneurship, but there's going to be something
always trying to talk you out of it. And that's
what the part's doing. And I can see it. I can
see it when you talk about it. It is that internal
conflict. And I'll just finish off by saying
failure doesn't exist. It's just a word. it's
just a word if you continue moving forward you
can't fail right so let's give an example because
i know a little bit about your ultra running
you did you technically failed at the 100 mile
race which means you did not finish it correct
is that right yeah that was actually my first
ever dnf in any form of race yeah which is amazing
like i would not even be able to do 13 miles
right now in this period of my life so um so
do you see that as a failure i you know i did
i see it as like technically a failure like i
didn't make it to the finish line yeah um but
like i said i think i just have a better have
a better mentality about that part of my life
yeah um and you know i think the i i failed the
race but it also i think the race went about
as well as it could have you know there weren't
any once there weren't any external factors the
weather was great i didn't get injured um you
know things of that didn't get sick so did you
learn something did you learn from that yeah
that is another another thing is i definitely
learned a lot and you know that's it makes me
feel more confident once i get get back into
the sport a bit more um than my likelihood of
uh finishing you know is much higher now um so
yeah it's it's uh yeah so then i need to apply
to that other aspect of my life right so that's
a prime example of like in this area of your
life it's not really i'm a failure it's i see
it as i failed at this thing although I know
what to do next and I'm going to continue moving
forward. So technically you're not a failure
because if you, in this area of life, if you
really thought you were a failure, you would
stop racing and would never do a hundred mile
race again, but you're not going to do that.
You're going to do it again. So it's just feedback.
And that's one of the presuppositions of NLP.
There's no such thing as failure. There's only
feedback. So you did this thing, you got feedback,
you learned, you're going to do something different
next time. If you apply that to everything else,
then you'd be golden. But the part, until the
part gets resolved. It's going to continue to
try to resist. It's trying to sabotage. It's
going to do everything under the sun in these
other areas of life. So that just paints a greater
picture of what's really going on inside of you,
right? Yeah, absolutely. And it's those different
pieces of life. Like ultra running, it's more
of a hobby. My livelihood, my income, my future
in ways doesn't pivot on that as much. you know
it's it's yeah it's interesting the the kind
of lessons are the same you know just there's
that sense of this one's more important or scarier
than the other it's so good you said that because
that is how the ego operates and like ultimately
if i were to go a little bit deeper it would
probably be like you are attached to achieving
some kind of success so therefore you feel like
you're good enough or worthy enough to be who
you are. So your value and worth is connected
to this thing called success now. And because
it's not a hobby, like it's different. The hobby
is different. Like there's something inside of
you that thinks you have to have some type of
success and that's probably monetary or status
or something in order to feel like you have value
and that you're valuable to the tribe or to people
around you or other people see you that way.
And I would say that's another paradigm that
you need to look at and resolve. Does that make
sense? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But that's suffering
because it's never going to stop because that
part of your ego is always going to be searching
for the next thing of success. And then as soon
as you hit a milestone, it's not going to be
good enough. Yeah. Right? It never ends. And
that's the trap. That's the school. That's the
hardest part about the school is self -mastery
and understanding what's going on. And NLP was
the thing that showed me all of those things,
parts, limiting beliefs, what's really driving
stuff. And now I can help other people with it.
So that's like a gift to me that I get to help
people do that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I
think we're getting close to the end of our time
here. But my my last comment with that. Yeah,
on that on that point, I think with how people,
you know, like, like you're saying we in a world
where resources are pretty abundant and easily
available, then yeah, our brains do shift from
surviving, just surviving tomorrow, you know,
not getting eaten by the lion, having enough
food to eat, then our brains can spend a lot
more time on you know oh what is success or you
know how much money do i need to make and all
those things i think that's a that's a big big
problem big emotional and mental problem in the
world um and yeah with that i like you're saying
that's uh that's your specialty that's how you
can help people so finish off here, a little
red carpet, let the listeners know what you're
about, how they can get in contact and what you
can do for them. Great. I appreciate that. I
will say that you can find me online, The Mind
Guy in Denver. My website is themindguy .net.
And you can book a free consultation. But typically,
I bring people through a 15 -hour process for
a major breakthrough. And that's what I do is
I find the parts conflicts. I find the core beliefs.
I find the root cause of the problem. And then
we clear those out. We reprogram. And then we
also install things on the identity level so
that instead of having to do things to be successful,
for example, their identity is that they are
successful. So they live in that reality. So
they're not chasing success. They already know
they are that. And that is really the powerful
way to operate through life is shifting on the
identity level. So I appreciate the time. I really
enjoyed myself. And thank you for going through
that exercise and being honest and open. And
I think a lot of your listeners are going to
get a lot of value out of this metamodel and
going a little bit deeper with what you're dealing
with. Yeah, absolutely. I really appreciate your
time. I'm glad our paths crossed this week. And
I feel like a lot of these topics, we can only
scratch the surface. So I think a part two definitely
needs to be in the future here. Yeah, I would
love that. That'd be great. Sounds good. Thanks,
Austin. Thanks. I hope today's episode added
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