Well, hello there and welcome to the Thicc AF Podcast.
Welcome back.
My name is Emily.
And this is Sarah.
We're so happy to be here today with you.
Sarah has something to share.
Yeah, so today we are doing a little dedication for our episode.
Our sweet friend Santana, who was on with us a couple episodes ago, lost her baby Luna,
her pit bull doggy that she adopted when she first moved to Birmingham.
So we wanted to take a moment and dedicate this episode to Looney Booney.
Looney Patoony.
We love you Looney.
Thicker than a snicker.
Will always be in our hearts smoking those cigarettes.
Okay.
Well, today is going to be a good day.
We are going to talk about, we're going to discuss some cringey things or not, maybe
not so cringey things.
Maybe they're cute.
You never know.
Maybe they're super cute, but probably not.
Only cute to the couple doing it.
But before that, do you have an FMK for us?
I do have an FMK today.
So since we're going to talk about couples, I figured, you know, Emily and I both dating
the men folk, we will fuck, Mary, kill a beard, glasses and dimples.
Oh, interesting.
You didn't see that one coming, did you?
No, I didn't.
Okay.
That's a hard one.
I know.
So a dependent thing is going to depend on the dimples.
But I'm going to marry a beard, fuck the glasses.
Actually, you know what?
Honestly, I want to do all those things to the beard.
Maybe not kill.
Fuck the glasses and kill the dimples.
Alrighty.
Well, I, of course, I'm going to marry the shit out of a beard as well.
That is like literally my one thing that I just can't, I can't, I can't give it up.
So hard, blessed Brandon's heart.
He came home not too long ago.
He had gone to get a haircut and his beard was like a little furry or whatever.
And he doesn't, sometimes he just, you know, answers questions quickly and doesn't really
think about them or like just makes decisions.
And which is a great quality to have because then you're not like overthinking things or
whatever.
But the lady was like, you know, what do you want your beard shaved down to like a one?
And he goes, yeah.
And he came home and I was outside with Joel and he came around the corner.
And I go, what happened to your face?
Oh my gosh, Sarah.
I apologized immediately.
It just came out because I've never, I have never in all my dating him, I've never seen
his beard that short.
When was this?
I didn't notice.
It was before we went to the beach.
So you hadn't seen, you probably hadn't seen him.
But I mean, I apologize immediately, but it was just what came out of my mouth.
But I was like, what, who are you?
I don't even know you.
Brandon Kate, you came home from just getting your hair done and he was like, what happened
to your head?
I felt so bad after I really did, but it just came out of my mouth and he didn't even look
bad.
I just wasn't used to it at all.
I was like, I felt like I had a new man at that point, but I love a beard.
So I'm going to marry a beard.
I'm going to fuck some dimples because I think dimples are like the cutest thing ever.
So, you know, with a beard, you can't really see them, but I'm like give or take on glasses.
So I'll go ahead and kill the glasses.
I don't know a lot of guys with dimples.
Do you?
I'm pretty sure Brandon has some dimples up under there.
Oh, up under there.
I got one.
So you got your fucking and killing Brandon.
I mean, fucking and marrying Brandon, obviously.
Yeah, obviously.
I mean, that's the road we're headed down.
But he doesn't wear glasses.
No, he just has contacts.
So good.
I'll kill him.
Hopefully.
Yeah, to be determined.
So you might think like the glasses.
I like the glasses.
I don't know why, but like when you have glasses on, usually people that wear glasses like
all the time, I feel like when they take them off, their face looks so squinty and squishy.
And I'm like, oh, like you like wearing these glasses and your face looks so cute and squishy.
When you take them off, I don't know what you know what I'm talking about.
It's like real weird.
They take them off and they've got this like squishy face.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
So, okay, cool.
Do you want to tell us about your beach trip or do you just want to hop right into the
no, let's hop right in.
We talked about beach trip with Donnie.
Oh yeah, that's right.
We're kind of off, y'all.
I'm not even going to lie.
We're getting our lives together this week.
Over the last six weeks, my schedule and Emily's schedule, more so mine, has just been absolutely
bonkers.
So we are going to get back to a normal recording, editing schedule.
Hopefully we don't even have to edit.
We didn't edit anything in last week's episode and it was great.
I hope everyone liked it as much as I did.
My mom was really proud of herself and I was proud of her too.
She did really good.
I know.
I expected her to be great though.
Well, she started off a little nervous in the beginning.
She was and I was so, I was confused on why she was so nervous because it was just like,
it's just like talking in front of her.
Well, and I don't think that she realized that's what it was when we started.
I think that she thought it was going to be a lot more formal, that there were things
that she was going to have to do or whatever during and didn't understand that we're literally
just sitting here having a conversation.
Yeah.
It's so much, I love it.
It's so much more chilled than, yeah.
And I mean, all the time, Emily and I have to fuss at each other and we'd be like, I
have to tell you about this.
Be like, no, wait for the podcast.
Yeah, I'm like, why can't I know now?
Oh my gosh.
We like to have a sincere.
Yeah, genuine reactions.
Yes, genuine reactions.
But you know, okay, well, let's just hop right into this.
I know I'm excited for you to talk about this.
For me?
Yeah.
I'm excited for you to talk about it because I am not in a relationship so I can think
all this stuff is cringy, but you might think it's cute.
Some of it I might think is cute too.
But so we're going to say like, maybe let's just say cringe or cute.
Okay.
Um, and then we'll kind of discuss why maybe.
So first thing for this is for relationships.
When you're in a relationship, having joint social media accounts.
Absolutely fucking not cringe for sure.
Cringe.
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to say one word.
Yeah.
What people that do that, it makes me feel like they don't eat.
They either don't trust their significant other or they had some forcing them in the
forefront when they don't want to be.
Yeah.
Or like they, they're something happened in their relationship and they can't have their
own social media account or something.
Yeah.
It's very odd.
There's not many people that I know that have a joint social media account, but do you know
anybody?
But there, I mean, honestly, I have social media, but like, I don't ever really get on
it.
I have a, have a partner or something, a partner people hate when I say that, but like a boyfriend,
not a girlfriend because I am straight, but thank you for the clarification.
Well some people think, I don't know, it's like a weird thing.
I know.
I know what you mean.
So if I had a boyfriend or whatnot, they would probably be like, you need to get on social
media, but I'd be like, we're not having a joint and hopefully no dude that I would ever
date would try to get me to do a joint social media account.
We technically have a joint social media.
Yeah, we do.
That's as far as it's going.
With my partner, Sarah, my partner in crime.
Oh Lord have mercy.
Yeah, no joint social media account is weird.
I just, I don't really understand the point of it.
I guess like I agree with you.
You know, alludes that maybe something happened and there was a reason, you know, that it
was needed that, or like maybe the husband doesn't really want social media, but the
wife wants him to have it in some way, shape or form.
I don't know.
It just feels either that there's, you know, distrust there or like forcefulness to be
on social media.
And it's like, they're not their own person anymore.
Right.
I mean, the only time that I ever post anything, and I think Facebook's pretty much the culprit
of most of them, like that's, you don't really see joint Instagram accounts outside of like
business accounts, which is basically what we have.
Well, it is.
Yeah.
I don't think you see that a whole lot on Instagram, but on Facebook and like, I know
that I don't really post on Facebook.
There are photos that get posted to my Facebook, but it's because I've posted them on Instagram
and shared them to Facebook.
Okay.
So it's a cringe for me.
Yeah, same.
Okay.
So if Brandon ever asked me to do that, I would be like, absolutely not.
Brandon, honestly though, Brandon, I don't think he would ever do that, but he might
be, I feel like he's like kind of cutesy.
Like he'd be like, Oh, I don't, I think he would do it with you.
If you said, yes, if I said I wanted to do it, I think he would be on board.
Well, and I don't know if he would be like all for it.
He would probably just be like, okay, sure.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, okay.
Whatever you want.
Okay.
So pet names, like, what do you think about like giving each other pet names and using
them in public in front of other people?
Well, I do it.
I know you do it.
What do you call Brandon?
Bubs.
Oh, Bubs.
Like that reminds me of the Powerpuff Girls Bubbles.
Remember Bubbles?
I like Terri.
She's my favorite.
I never really watched those.
Oh really?
No.
Yeah.
Man, we should give Birdie a microphone.
Look at him.
I know.
My cat is sitting over here like it's like in a person's.
I mean, it's the most ridiculous thing.
I need to take a picture and make that our post of the week.
Yeah.
He's so cute.
It's like a human and he like sits in the chair and he literally looks like he's like
in the conversation with us.
He's so funny.
But he's falling asleep now.
Birdie.
Bird.
He's not waking up.
Oh no.
He's like pissed.
Anyways.
So yeah, pet names.
Honestly, I'm sure I've done that before.
I have done that before.
I don't know if I use it in public like for anybody.
I don't know if I've used it in public.
So you call him bubs like in front of other people?
Yeah.
Oh, what does he call you?
Love.
OK, that's OK.
That's cute.
Look like when the people are like, oh, pookie, pookie bear or something stupid like that.
I'm like, oh, my God.
I think that's a little bit much.
Like if he wanted to like call me like schnookums or something like that, I would be like, no,
thank you, though.
Have a nice day.
Schnookums.
Isn't there a song with schnookums in it?
What is it?
I don't know.
Schnookums.
That sounds like something they would use on the Jersey Shore.
If I was dating somebody named Snooki, I would definitely call her schnookums.
Oh, my God.
OK.
Yeah.
OK.
So what about like talking in baby voices?
Absolutely not.
Yeah, that's weird.
That's for your dog.
Like, oh, baby.
Hello, baby.
I can't even do it.
No, that's for your dog.
Yeah, no.
Oh, yeah, I do talk in a baby voice to my dogs, don't I?
That's sad.
Can I list one real quick?
Yeah, go for it.
Because I saw this and I was like, surely nobody does this.
Give each other Eskimo kisses in the company of other people.
I saw that one, too.
Yeah, no, I don't do that.
Eskimo.
OK, but what about butterfly kisses with the, you know, the eyelash?
Absolutely not.
That's so weird.
It's so hard to get that close to somebody anyways.
But your eyelashes are long enough you could do it from two feet away.
So are yours.
We both have really long eyelashes, we can just like stand across the room and give somebody
butterfly kisses.
Yes.
From two feet away over here on the sofa.
Knock us out.
Yeah.
OK, so what about like posting mushy things about your significant other on Instagram
or Facebook or social media, any social media thing?
So like being like, OK, hold on, let me just go first on this.
Because I think that it's OK every once in a while, like, hey, it's our anniversary.
I love you.
Whatever.
But also, like if you're doing it like constantly, like, oh, my baby boo, why can't you just
tell him in person?
Tell him in person, you know, do you not talk to your husband or your boyfriend or your
girlfriend or whoever?
Do you not talk to that person?
Why do you have to post it out there for everyone to see?
I totally agree with that.
I mean, I think that's just a sort of keeping up with the Joneses type response from people.
And I don't really understand that.
I think, like you said, occasionally like a birthday post or like you said, anniversary,
you know, whatever.
I think that that's fine.
But I think that it's too much if like this is happening every week or every month or
whatever.
I totally agree with you.
I think and this goes back to, you know, our original like love language conversation.
If that's something that you like to do or you know that your significant other likes
do in person, it's going to mean so much more than putting that shit on social media for
the whole world to see and comment on and give their frickin opinion and whatever.
And like celebrating your birthday with you, they're celebrating it with other people.
Right.
Essentially, you know, but I mean, sometimes I guess some people like that.
They like to be the center of attention.
And maybe that's something that makes them feel good.
And if it is good for you, but I am not on board with that.
Yeah, definitely not on board with that.
So all right.
Do you have another one?
I have I have several.
What about PDA?
Like, OK, not when I say PDA, I don't mean like a kiss when you're leaving.
Goodbye.
Oh, see you later.
Smoochie smoochie.
I'm talking like PDA, like you're like making out, groping each other in public.
Well, that and then like maybe just like being like really ridiculously overboard, which
honestly, sometimes a little ridiculously overboard isn't really that much overboard.
But just like if you're with a group of friends and you're at dinner like like when we went
on Cinco de Mayo, if you and Brandon were sitting in the booth and you were like all
cuddled up to each other like kissy smoochie, I would be like, this is weird.
Like y'all get your own booth.
100 percent cringe.
And even if he and I like the people that sit next to each other on the same side of
the table or the booth.
That's what I find on the list.
Absolutely not.
Or if a dude drives a truck and she's going to sit bitch.
Absolutely not.
Sit in your own seat.
So I honestly kind of like if you're on you don't even have a real seat belt in the middle.
I think it's cute when people sit in the same side and I like to sit on the same side of
the booth sometimes.
Like I think it's really cute if you're on a date or something and you're just with each
other.
If you ever try to sit in the same side of the booth as me, I will kick your ass out.
I'm not trying to cuddle with you.
Why can't I sit on the same side of the booth with you?
Maybe once I'll let it happen.
What if it's cold?
Are you going to sleep with me at the beach on our girls beach trip?
I thought you somebody told me that I'm sleeping with Rose.
Oh, I didn't know.
I didn't know she was going.
I think she is maybe.
I don't know.
I hope Rose is coming, but if not, I'll sleep with you, Sarah.
You told me you didn't want to sleep with me.
No, I like sleeping with you because you don't move.
Well, yeah, I do lately, but sometimes I try not to.
Okay, so that got two of them.
What about popping each other's pimples?
No, I can't.
No, you don't do it.
No, I love it.
It's so good.
I think it's cringy, but we've already talked about this, haven't we?
Yes.
We talked about how they did it on that show.
Yeah.
I think it's gross, but I think it's I love it so much, but it is cringy.
It's not cute, but I think you should do it definitely if you like the popping balls because
I like to watch Dr. Fripple Popper.
What you got?
Anything else?
You feed each other food in public.
Okay, that's weird.
I agree.
I feel so here hear me out on this like you can cut a bite of something for me and I'll
eat it off your fork, but you better hand that fork to me so I can feed myself.
Yeah, don't even put it in my mouth because usually that ends in like a massive mess.
Like they're like they miss your face or miss your mouth and it hits your face and then
it's on your shirt and you're like, oh, and then you're like piss and you're like, what
did you do that for?
You shouldn't have just handed me the fork.
You're like, what the hell?
You know?
Well that and if you're like a germaphobe or whatever and you don't want somebody to
like eat off your fork or whatever, then put it on my plate and I'll pick it up with my
own.
But that's okay.
But if they're using their fork that they already put in their mouth to cut your stuff
and put it on your plate, it's the same thing as putting their fork in your mouth.
Totally agree.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
So and it's like if you're an alternative resolution.
Yeah.
So okay, let's see what else we got here.
Matching outfits.
Cringe.
Really?
So you wouldn't like go to the beach and like take a matching outfit pictures?
Okay.
There's like I have live questions though.
Are we getting like a matching swimsuit and swim trunks or are we just like color coordinating
is not the same as a matching outfit.
Well, I'm at color coordinating.
No, I think that's perfectly matching is not like, oh my gosh, you're buying like little
kids pajamas.
I think that's cute.
Actually the whole family.
Same.
I do like a good family pajama Christmas card.
Yeah.
But like if you're going out like matchy matchy matchy, like if you and I were all black together,
which we have done, but only because I always wear black.
Yeah.
So like, yeah, if you're like, hey, you wear a white shirt and I'm going to wear a white
dress.
Yeah, I think that's fine.
I think it's cute.
But would you do it all the time or is it just like to go take pictures on the beach?
I mean, I think when you're taking pictures on the beach like that, that is the whole
point is to have matchy matchy outfits.
Yeah.
But like going to just a regular dinner, you know, no, I don't know.
I think Brandon likes to match more than I do.
Oh yeah.
Because I want to wear whatever I want to wear.
What I'm going to want.
Yeah.
I want to I want to do what I want to do.
And you figure it out from there.
Yeah.
He'll be like, what are you wearing tonight?
And you're going to be like, nothing.
I know that.
Okay, I'll wear nothing, too.
Oh my God.
He fucking would.
If I wore nothing, he would wear nothing.
That's cute.
When I woke up this morning, I hope that this does not embarrass him.
Oh God.
I I he always wakes up earlier than I do.
And so I knew he got up this morning and I just went back to sleep and Jolene was still
in the bed with me for a while.
And then I did get up because I heard her get out of bed and, you know, he closed the
door when he left and or and got up.
And so I opened the door and then I don't know what they did after that.
At some point, she opened the door and came back and got in the bed with me.
But when I woke up for the final time, I woke up to him naked in the bedroom and I was like,
what are you doing?
Because it was just like scared.
I was like, why are you naked?
Are you about to come in this bed?
What are you doing?
Like, hi.
Good morning.
What are you doing?
Hi.
And he was like getting dressed.
I just got out of the shower.
Are you like scared he was going to try to do it?
You're like, no, I'm still sleeping.
Stop going.
I'm busy.
I kind of was scared because I was not ready mentally.
Oh, my gosh.
Sorry, Bridget.
Sorry to every of to Sarah's parents.
And siblings.
And Brandon's family, too.
It's not.
Yeah.
So no.
So he would he would match with you.
OK, we'll change the subject real quick, because you look like you're very embarrassed.
No, I'm not embarrassed.
I'm trying to decide if I'm going to tell a story for the beach or not.
You decide.
So on the very first day when we got down there, we all went to the pool because it
was nice in the afternoon and we knew that the next day was like supposed to be kind
of crappy.
So Brandon and I were like ready to go up from the pool or whatever.
And we were like, all right, we'll see you guys in a little bit or whatever.
So of course, we get back up to the room and we're having sex or whatever.
And I hear the door like slam.
And I'm like, y'all couldn't give us 15 minutes.
Like, get the fuck out of here.
What is happening?
So then later on, I find out that before the door slam, Jerry had come in, heard us having
sex and went out and then slam the door on purpose.
Oh, my God.
She was like, Mom and Mitch were like right behind us.
Oh, my God.
I walked in there and I didn't really know what to do.
Oh, my God.
That's hilarious.
Alicia, she helped you out there.
She did.
She was like, you need to be careful next time.
You're lucky it was me.
I want to be like, I'm 35 years old.
Do you really think that Don thinks I don't have sex with the man that I'm sleeping in
the bed with every night?
Well, maybe they just don't want to hear you do it.
All they had to do was give 15 minutes.
What did they think we were going to do?
Did I mean, would you all go up there to say you all are going up to have sex?
No, of course not.
But like, I wouldn't think that I wouldn't be like, oh, they're going to go have sex.
Like if they're just going up to the room, I don't know, especially on a beach trip with
your parents.
She is Sarah.
Gee, save it for a more appropriate time.
Vacation sex is the best sex.
Okay.
So so what do you think about?
Okay.
I was watching who is it that Courtney Kardashian is married to now?
Travis Barker, Travis Barker, Courtney and Travis.
Travis is other name.
What?
They have a thing.
I don't know.
So I'm watching the card at the thing where they got engaged or something or one of these
parties and they're sitting at the table and she's like, what kind of wine are we going
to have?
What kind of what?
And he's like, I don't know.
What kind do you want?
Which type should we get?
And they're like, they are so like in love and like, oh, I just want to do whatever you
want to do.
And I'm like, why don't you just get what you want?
And he gets what he wants.
Oh, they were like talking about like what they wanted together.
What do you think about that?
No, I know you're like, no, I want this is what I want.
If you want to get the same thing, you can get it.
And Brandon would be like, okay, I'll get what you're getting.
No, he'll get like we don't.
We don't drink.
He drinks a lot more beer than I do.
Yeah.
So as far as like cocktails go or whatever, and he doesn't drink a whole lot of wine.
So we definitely order different stuff and he does not get whatever I'm getting.
But no, I don't agree with that at all because you're a thousand percent right.
I want what I want.
Right.
Like I thought it was cute, but I was like, that is weird.
And there are a lot of people that are like, what are we going to get?
We and we and we and everything's we.
And like, OK, you're still one person and you just have a partner.
You don't have to like have the same things all the time.
And it kind of freaks me out a little bit.
Like, I don't I don't know.
I mean, it's kind of cute.
Sort of. I like that they like each other so much that they feel that way to do it.
But also, I think it's considerate, but I don't think that it is anywhere close to necessary to have a 10 minute conversation of, well, what do you want?
And they didn't even get a bottle.
And also, OK, so it would be different if you are poor people like us, like measly peasants who can only afford one cheap bottle of wine at the restaurant and cheap by meaning cheap at a restaurant is like 50 bucks.
Right. With them, they can afford whatever the heck they want and they can get a hundred bucks.
Yes. Yeah. And they can get whatever they want.
They don't have to share a bottle.
And also, they weren't ordering a bottle of wine.
They got a glass of wine and I'm like, y'all could have gotten your own glass of wine. Like, come on now.
It's weird. Yeah. No. I mean, I mean, I think Brandon definitely is extremely considerate when it comes to like what I want.
And I get what I want a lot of times because if you don't get what you want, you'll be sad.
No, I won't be sad. Oh, my God.
Yes, she does. She's she gets what she wants because she is the getter what she wants her type of girl.
But I'm considerate of him. I make sure you are. Yeah.
But you also make sure you get what you want first.
Probably. Right. Yeah.
You're going to get what you want, but he might get what he wants to.
Yeah.
OK, so we've kind of already talked about like pet names, but like I know I don't really ever hear you say bubs to him that much.
But you know, these people that are always like, babe, babe, babe, babe, get me a thing, babe, babe.
Can you get me a drink? Can you get me something from the babe? Hey, babe.
And you're like, oh, my God, can you just use his real name or like the saying it way too?
No, I mean, is that I probably say bubs to him in public or, you know, whatever, but like not constantly.
Yeah, you're not like one of those like bubs. Hey, bubs, get me a drink, bubs.
Like every other word. No, really strange.
The people that are like, babe, babe, just saying, babe, so many times gets on my nerves.
And I think that I've done it before in relationships, probably.
Yeah. Well, and then you have you remember seeing well, you don't have it like I have it.
But excuse me, the TikTok videos where a spouse will like call their partner by their first name or whatever.
And the other person is like, are you mad at me?
Like did something happen because they didn't call him babe or something? No, I've never seen that before.
That's hilarious. Are you mad?
Because it's kind of like your your mom calling you by your first and middle name or something.
My mom never did that, but she would be like Eric Emily Daniel because she would forget who she was mad at.
And that's when you know that she's mad.
Does Daniel feel slighted because his name doesn't start with an E? No, Daniel.
OK, so Daniel is the second. He got Daniel's the third child and he got named after my dad.
Oh, yeah. Eric feels slighted that he didn't get named after my dad because he's the first.
It's really funny. Sorry about that, bud.
But Daniel, they couldn't come up with another E.
So it was like Elvis or Elliot or something like that.
And they were like, no, we're not going to name your fucking Elvis.
And I think that's when they were like, OK, we'll just name him Daniel after his dad.
I mean, like, can you think of any other E names for a boy?
I can't. Elvis, Elliot, Eric, and maybe like Emmanuel Edwin Edward Edward.
Oh, God, that's worse than Elvis.
Sorry, all those Edwards out there. But, you know, Ethan. Oh, yeah. OK.
But, you know, Daniel's not an Ethan, though. No, Daniel's not any of those.
No. Yeah, I don't know them, but yeah. Yeah.
So and my dad always went by Danny anyways, which is weird to me.
God, your dad, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny and Lola, my niece.
Well, she calls him that to somebody because she we always make fun of my mom and show my dad will be in the other room and she'll be like Lola will be like Danny.
It's hilarious. She's so cute. His funniest little girl I've ever met.
Oh, my God. I love her so much and I miss her. Man. Yeah, she's good.
So yeah, that let's see. I got a some. Oh, OK.
Farting or passing gas or fluffing or whatever you want to call it in front of each other.
Cringe. It's gross. It's so gross. I hate it.
Whenever Brandon does it, I fuss. I don't like it. I think it's disgusting.
What does he think about if you do it in front of him? I don't. I know me either.
I'm so glad I figured you might think it would be OK.
See, like if it comes out, I'll be like, oh, my God, I accidentally did it.
I'm sorry. I will go into another room or something.
Have an excuse to walk away, go do something, whatever.
But absolutely not. I am not ripping farts in front of my boyfriend.
Oh, my God. They're 20 years now. I'm still not ripping.
There has to be something left for the imagination. OK.
And I know like that is definitely needs to be left for the imagination.
Nobody needs to see here that or smell it. Yes.
The smell is the worst. My mom and dad do it.
And they think it's hilarious. They think it's hilarious.
And other people do it too. And my mom.
Every time that we go to the beach, we have a fart corner.
You have to go stand in the fart corner to fart.
And it's. Oh, my God.
I'm going to have to edit myself out. I'm too hard.
It's outside. I'm hot now. It's outside on the porch and it has to be downwind.
Who came up with this? I can't breathe.
Oh, my God. This was actually almost seven or was seven years ago that we came up with this.
And I was dating somebody different and he was at the beach with me.
And we were having some giggles out.
We had two porches, whatever place we were staying at.
We are outside on the side porch instead of like the porch facing the ocean or whatever.
And my mom was just having some gut issues that night.
It was my thing. My mom or Mitch and we were like, no, you have to go over to the fart corner right now because it's downwind.
Blow that shit somewhere else. Do not fart in front of the rest of us.
Fuck you guys. Absolutely not. So now we have a fart corner. Oh, my God. That's hilarious.
I'm going to start doing that. But honestly, I don't want I would never go to the bar corner because I don't want anybody to know
that I'm farting. Like if I'm if it's coming out of me, I'll be like if it's an accident and it comes out as loud, I'll be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I mean, that's one thing. But like just doing it and acting like nothing is happening is. Oh, listen.
My mom does that. She'll be in the grocery store and she'll be in the walk in it.
She'll crop dust. Yes, she cropped us. It'll be at the. Saucy.
She goes. They go shopping at the beach. And I was like on the phone with my dad and my mom is she is walking by.
She cropped us, my dad, but then walks by and is like, do you see?
Oh, what's that smell like to the like to anybody in the place?
And it was her that did it. And she was trying to blame it on my dad. Oh, my God.
That man must have fought it. But she won't say the F word.
She doesn't say that farted. She says pooted. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Somebody the other day was telling me that they fluff. It was Mandy, Mandy Fluffs. And I was like, Mandy, come on.
That's disgusting. Oh, my God. Love sounds way worse.
Fluff sounds like something weird went into your pants. Yes. A hundred percent like like Mike.
What's that stuff called? Marshmallow fluff. Yeah.
If that's coming out of your butt, we got a problem. Yeah.
Oh, like what about using the restroom in front of like peeing or pooping in front of your significant other like with the door open or them in there?
Peeing is fine. OK, I'm OK with that.
I pee with the door open all the time, but I've also lived like I lived by myself for 10 years.
And I mean, Brandon doesn't even officially live with me, but like I've always peed with the door open because it's just me.
Yeah. And so like now living with somebody else ish and like pooping, I tell him all the time, close the door if you're pooping.
Like, it's weird. I don't like it.
I got mad at him at the beach because he was I didn't know what he was. He was in the bathroom.
I said I didn't know what he was doing, but I was I came in the room and I was just being funny.
I was like, hey, what are you doing? And he's pooping in the open door and he's like pooping.
I was like, no, that is not OK. No, close the door. That's your fault.
You came at that. You got that. You you were asking for that.
Well, I regretted it immediately and I was like, never fucking again.
It's not sexy. It's not cute. Don't do that.
It's so gross. Like I think about it last night, Mason and Christina were here and I was changing clothes before we after the pool.
We went to Aaron and Santana's to have dinner and I shut the bathroom door downstairs because they were in my living room or my bedroom.
And I shut the door so they didn't see me change it.
And I was like, I feel so weird because I was like, I don't think I've ever seen the back of my door before.
I always have it open. It's so weird.
I literally always have it open. Yeah. So, yeah, that's not cool. I don't like it.
I have done that before in front of other people. And I think about it now and I'm like, how did I do that?
I was probably because I had to go real bad. But like I've changed completely. Like that is not cool.
All right. So last but not least on my list is sharing a toothbrush.
Absolutely fucking not. Same.
It's disgusting. But that was that was one of the ones on that TV show.
Here's my thing. If I absolutely had to do it, I'm going to be the first one to brush my teeth.
I'm not brushing my teeth with your wet ass toothbrush.
Eww gross with all your like germy like chunky stuff.
But if you think about it, if you're the first one to use it with the with the dry toothbrush, it's like everybody is there like stuff on there that's like crunchy and like like if it didn't get brushed off washed off all the way.
I'm sorry. There are never crunchies on my toothbrush.
Not crunchy. But like I feel like it's just like in there like sitting there. It's disgusting.
I wouldn't I don't think I'd ever even if I had to if I was on a desert island maybe and I wanted to make sure that my teeth didn't fall out. Yeah.
But no. Like if I would go again, I'm going to brush my teeth first every day.
Yeah. I would have to go to the store and buy a toothbrush. And if I didn't have any money to do it, you would go to the store.
Well, not on a desert island here. If I was on a desert island, I wouldn't care at all if I went first or last.
I mean, I kind of probably would. I would. And you know that TV show that we watched?
Melanie watched it, too. What was it called that we really liked?
And they had the two seasons of the girls that they flew out to the island and they were on a plane crash.
It was like, oh, the wilds, the wilds. Yeah.
And I think one girl had a toothbrush because she or whatever because she had that thing in her teeth or that her teeth came out or whatever.
Yeah. I would probably use their toothbrush, but I would probably kill somebody if they made me use it last.
Oh, don't you think? Yeah, I don't know. Speaking of that TV show, I just finished this other one.
Oh, my God. I'm going to have to walk. Talk about it later.
But it was so good. And it's very similar to that where they are so good.
It's a net. I think it's Netflix. Anyways. So, OK, that's all I've got for the day.
So what are you going to do the rest of the day? I know you're going to get a violence birthday.
Yes. Our friend Victoria has a dog named Violet. It's Jillian's BFF.
And her birthday is on Cinco de Mayo, but we're celebrating it today at Good Dog Bar downtown.
So her actual birthday or is it her gotcha day?
It is her birthday was in May. So Victoria just made it Cinco de Mayo.
So it is not her gotcha day. Her gotcha day is sometime in the summer, though, I think.
I can't remember because Vic got her a handful of weeks before I got Jolene. Cool.
Well, that's very exciting. Yeah, I would go, but I don't. I might go. I might.
I think you should. I don't want to get ready.
I just want to like wallow in my nastiness from yesterday. No, absolutely not.
I don't want to do my hair. Can I just put on a hat? Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, maybe dry shampoo in it and put a hat on and let's go.
I mean, I'm not doing I'm wearing these clothes. I'm wearing them.
I'm not dressing. I'm not putting clothes on. Absolutely not.
OK, good. It's going to be 87 today. It's going to be hot in there already.
I'm hot in here. OK, cool.
Well, you know what? Follow us on social media and send us an email if you want to.
Hey, tell us if you think any of these are cringy or not cringy or cute
or if you have any others that we can talk about. Yeah, I'm sure that there is a laundry list
of additional cringy or cute that we can talk about. Definitely.
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and we will catch you next week. Toodaloo.
ABCDEFG, I have to go.
I don't know why it's so good.