Welcome to the Thicc AF Podcast everyone. We are here to hang out with you and celebrate.
My name is Emily Crampsey and this is...
Hey y'all it's Sarah. Do I have to throw my last name out there?
Oh I didn't realize I said my last name.
You did.
Hello. Emily Crampsey and Sarah Wright at your service.
Oh Lord. What's been going on Sarah?
I mean it's been one hell of a week.
Lord have mercy don't even talk to me about that.
I know.
Was it from work or what?
Yeah work is crazy right now. I mean which is always a good thing but it's still a lot.
Yeah tonight when you came over my boss called me at six over it was past six o'clock and I was like making dinner for us and I'm like why is he calling me but I knew that I needed to answer it because there was some stuff going on and I'm like it's six o'clock go home.
What are you doing?
Do you think he's still at the office or do you think that he was like a guy?
He's gone home by now he's got a family.
Yeah interesting.
He honestly might have been my old boss.
Calls whenever.
Yeah that's not good.
No definitely not.
Yeah this week has been fun.
Well we started the week off because you know a week starts on Sunday and so we started the week off with a Sunday fun day.
It was pretty good.
Oh so when I think of my week, my week starts on Monday and ends on Sunday.
You know so Sunday, I don't know why Sunday is like supposed to be the first of the week but it's because it's not it's really the end of the week and it's the Sabbath day or whatever that's why they you know the Sunday.
Yeah.
So isn't that supposed to be the like the last day of the week or was it supposed to be the first of the week?
I don't know isn't it the first day of the week?
It technically I think is the first day so like when you say it's like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
But I always Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
I don't know that's an interesting thing because I think of work week starts then but like I mean yeah of course you're ending your weekend on the Sunday but it's technically the start of a new week.
I think of my Sunday as the last day of the week.
Yeah.
So I can see that.
But it's kind of good that you I like that you bring up that we started our week because technically it was Sunday so our week started off good.
Yeah we had a great time.
That's great. It was didn't start with work and boring things like that or me having a migraine for two days.
Yeah that's fair.
Oh Lord have mercy.
I mean I did a whole like I had a whole weekend.
I left like late afternoon on Friday and went to Mobile to my sister's and attended my very first like Mardi Gras event.
I mean obviously you know.
What was the Mardi Gras event?
I mean I went to my first parade so Mardi Gras originated in Mobile.
Right.
And so they celebrate big time and it was the very first weekend of parade.
So Saturday night we went to our very first well my very first anyways parade and I had a ball and my sister was like this really wasn't even like that good of a parade.
And I was like what do you mean I had so much fun.
I caught like they call them throws the things that you like catch when they're throwing them from the floats.
I caught like two hula hoops a bunch of beads.
What did you do with your hula hoops?
They're at my house.
Sweet we need a hula hoop.
I love hula hooping.
I know you do that's why I saved them.
Oh my God.
Are they light up hula hoops?
No but they are like I mean they have like sparkly stickers for Mardi Gras.
I'm really bad at hula hooping but I wanted like at one point I really wanted to get into it like so my neighbor she is really good at hula hooping and we went to this thing one time at Avondale Brewing Company and they had like a
it was like Halloween last year or the year before where they had like the people that do the fire tricks and they have like what are they called?
They're called oh my God I don't know what they're called but you light them on fire and she had never done it with a fire before but she let somebody let them borrow her stuff.
She went out there and she was so good and it was like fire everywhere but she.
That's so wild.
And she was in her like Halloween costume which was what's the heist?
Money Heist costume.
Yeah.
It was really cute.
She did a good job.
Shout out to Shelby.
They throw like all the crazy stuff like I got a box of those cordial cherries.
Oh really?
I love those too.
They throw ramen noodles, moon pies.
I saw that one of my friends.
Oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah.
Ramen noodles.
I call them ramen noodles.
You call them ramen or ramen?
Ramen.
I know everybody calls them ramen but when I was little I don't know if it's an Alabama thing but we called them ramen noodles where I mean not everybody called them that but I did.
My family probably doesn't call them that but I always called them ramen noodles because.
I don't know I feel like if you go to like a pho restaurant or something like that they're like it's ramen.
Do they say ramen?
I've never heard anybody tell me the correct way to say it.
Honestly I don't know.
It's like pho and pho or pho or whatever people say pho.
Pho.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Like the pho king.
The pho king.
Like have you ever been to a place they have like pho or pho or pho or whatever.
I've been to one.
And then the last the name place of the place is called pho the pho king.
Like pho king.
You're so crazy.
I think it's funny but yeah so what was your favorite throw?
I mean the hula hoop was pretty cool and like I caught that but I also caught this headband that is a crown and it lights up and I kept that.
It's a crown so where are you going to wear that?
Wherever I want.
Maybe all over my house one day.
You never know.
Maybe on my birthday I'll wear it.
I should give you my light up shoelaces so that you can put them in your shoes.
I think that's a great idea.
And wear it with your new crown headband.
Yeah.
I wore that thing all night.
I've still never worn my light up shoelaces so I bought these like light up gloves for.
Roller skating?
No no no no no.
No but that does sound fun.
I'm going to have roller skating and hula hoop and wear my light up.
There you go.
I'll give you my crown for that.
But I bought these like light up glove things for my nephew for like his birthday or something
and they came with light up shoelaces but like he can't wear those shoelaces because
they're like adult sized shoelaces and also I wanted them so I kept them.
So I have these light up shoes.
They're really cool.
That's funny.
So anyway so we went to the dog park bar.
It's called like good dog.
I think I don't know it's downtown near railroad park.
Yeah I was expecting it to be a little bit different.
I was expecting it to be a bar.
And like even when you read online it's like oh it sounds like there's a bar.
You sit at the bar and then you put your dog in a dog park area.
Yes and somebody takes care of your dog.
Yeah and that's what I thought too.
Like I really thought that.
Yeah.
When we get in there and it's like a big thing you sit inside with your dog and like literally
it smelled like disgusting my jacket like the sash thing that you wrap like around the jacket.
It accidentally touched the ground for like one second and I have to it's disgusting because
it smells like pee now.
Oh my gosh.
Because it's like Astro turf.
Yeah.
And then just the dogs pee everywhere and then that one dog when were you there when
that yeah you were when the dog there was this one dog he came right behind us and took
this huge dump.
It wasn't even right behind us.
It was like a mile away.
Not really.
It smelled so bad they had to get that.
It was.
They had to get that water hose out and hose that stuff off.
I mean it's a good concept in theory but like so Pete was already there when we got there
and I did not bring my dog Jolene because she had been immobile with me.
My sister and her boyfriend Thomas have three dogs so we'd been you know four dogs deep
all weekend.
Jolene acting foolish with her BFF Max and so she was like tired when we got home.
She didn't get off the couch.
She will normally walk us all the way the door when we leave and she was not having
any of it.
So I left her at home because I felt like that's what she wanted to do.
So we got there and you like check in and there's like a window almost like a you know
ticket.
What do you call that the box office type window but they have coolers behind them that
have drinks.
And so the girl was like what do you want to drink and I was like well like is there
a bar like do we order here and she was like well there's a bar in there like pointed to
fenced in area and I was like okay and she was like a table like a fold up table with
a dude with he did have all kinds of stuff.
Yeah but it was just misleading and I was like so how do we go to you know get in here
after we and she goes you can't go in there if you don't have a dog and I was like what
are you talking about and she was like yeah you have to have a dog to go in there and
I was like okay well there's like a huge group.
It doesn't say that on the internet like it says all the stuff like you don't have to
have a dog to come.
And it was just the weirdest thing and she was like I'm kind of new here so like let
me check and I was like well there's a big group that's coming in like my friend is in
there right now and she was like oh as long as somebody has one dog you're fine and I
was like okay this is so bizarre but whatever.
And so we went in there and a couple other I mean you brought Butterbean and I guess
Pete's friend Pete brought his dog.
Butterbean was the only small dog.
Yeah but I mean it was cool once we got in there there's a bunch of chairs and stuff
and it's like and almost like a I don't know not I mean that's a huge metal building but
one side of it is all the way open so there's some airflow in there whatever I don't know
it was kind of like tailgating but like on AstroTurf with a big fence around us.
Yeah I mean I think that's fair but the dogs were great and I mean it was funny to watch
some of these random dogs you know you don't know and they come over and talk to you or
you can go talk to them and I mean everybody was super nice yeah.
I mean Jolene would have loved it and like I had a little bit of regret for not bringing
her but like I can go back.
Yeah you can go back but it did smell bad I was like I don't know about this.
That was I think the biggest like shocker because it's not a separate area for like
I genuinely thought it was like okay your dog's going to daycare and daycare to me is
I'm not there.
Oh yeah for sure yeah like I thought and online it sounds like.
You have to pay for it.
I mean you have to pay to let your dog in there.
It says it sounded like there is a bar and then there is a dog area that you put your
dogs in like when you read the stuff online it sounds so completely different than what
it was and I told everybody this is the deal like this is what it is I was like so excited
about it I'd never been there and then we get there and it was like just kidding.
See Victoria had been there before.
Oh she had okay.
But I didn't really have like a conversation with her before to fully understand it but
her dog wasn't up to date on her border to tell us so she couldn't couldn't bring Violet
but.
Yeah.
So then after that we went to see Pete old Pete from the you know the episode that he
you know he wrote me a love letter I guess is what you want to say.
So we went and saw him play hockey and and we took everybody and so we could cheer him
on and they lost again.
They almost didn't though.
Well no they they almost they almost they were winning when we got there.
They were they had one point.
I might be the problem.
Yeah.
No I don't think so.
But they loved it.
They they went in the penalty box for like Harrison and Pete went in the penalty box
for like five minutes each.
I hadn't been to a hockey game in forever and I mean the Bulls are right here Birmingham
Bulls are right here but I haven't had an opportunity to go.
So like for me growing up in like hockey town I was in my glory.
Sarah was in there yelling 88 88 F you 88.
She was like talking crap to number 8.
I was talking because he was he was doing some crazy stuff.
But yeah she was she was she was the coach from the sidelines a hundred percent.
So definitely coach from the sidelines if they want to hire me next year next season
because I think they have like a bunch of different seasons like a month break in between.
I'm available.
Oh there you go.
Yeah I don't know if you get paid for that.
I don't care.
Yeah.
OK.
So if you're on the sideline who cares.
I don't know if they let you.
Oh yeah I guess because you have beer like they sell beer.
Yeah.
OK.
Cool.
On the sidelines that is not what it's called but that's OK.
Yeah.
So yeah so we had fun.
That was good.
Anything else going on with you.
Yeah I'm actually I'm nervous.
I'm nervous to talk about it and I'm nervous to actually do it.
I'm going to meet Brandon's family this weekend.
He's met like everybody and their brother on my side of the family but now it's my turn.
OK.
Well he did it the right way like where you like wait a few months make sure it's working
out.
Sarah did it the wrong way where you like bring him after the third date.
Oh by the way what kind of Thanksgiving.
Meet my family and you know what Brandon was a good sport.
He was a great sport.
Listen he's in it for the long haul.
This man has already taken time off next Thanksgiving so he doesn't have to work that weekend.
Oh my gosh.
He was so upset he had to leave.
Oh he had to leave.
I didn't know that.
Yeah well I mean he was there for Thanksgiving Day but like he had to work on that Friday.
Oh gotcha.
So I think he likes me.
I'm pretty sure he does.
I think so.
So that's exciting.
Well it is.
However I so I knew that I was we're going to his sister's and she's married and they
have two kids two daughters.
Are his parents going to be there too.
His parents are divorced but his mom lives in Montgomery and she was going to be there.
So at first it was just going to be his sister and her family and then you know his mom's
coming which I full on expected to happen because she's right there.
Why.
Why would she not come.
You know right.
Well this week he was talking about something he was like oh yeah my aunt's going to be
there too and I was like what are you talking like how long did you know that and he was
like a week.
And I was like were you just like not going to say anything and like let me show up to
a house full of people and not know who all the other.
The aunt and sister and what her husband.
Uh huh.
And that's it.
Their kids and his mom.
OK cool.
Well that's not that many people and the aunts not as as like concerning as the mom.
The aunts can be cool like cool aunt like me and and the mom is going to be like either
she's going to love you in the beginning and then later on she's going to not like you
because that's how all mother-in-laws are because you're taking away their baby.
OK.
Oh my god.
They are and you know it for the baby boys.
Yeah listen I've got two brothers and I see how it is.
Anyways.
OK so next so so you're so you're excited to meet his mom and his aunt.
Yeah absolutely.
Cool.
Yeah.
Nice.
I'll report back.
I'm going to the Dart Tournament in Decatur this weekend which is where I'm from and it's
at like the Double Tree Hotel.
I think it's a double tree the hotel that's on the river and he's going to be up there
and so I'm going to my parents house to stay there and I'm pretty sure my parents are going
to come with me to the tournament to watch him play darts.
I'm so excited for this.
Which would mean that they're going to meet Pete.
Yeah.
So I have a question about this.
How did all of this unfold?
Like he's obviously going to the Dart Tournament.
Were you going home already or are you going home because of his darts tournament?
I'm going home because of it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this is like planned.
It wasn't just a coincidence.
No.
Yeah.
It's planned and he was because he was like I'm going to Decatur.
Do you want to go?
I think he asked me to go with him and I was like oh well I'll just go up there and stay
with my parents because I need to like go visit them anyways.
I haven't been there in a while.
So yeah that's what happened.
Are you nervous?
No.
See I wasn't nervous for Brandon to meet my family either.
Look if you don't like my family that's your fault.
My family is really cool.
My mom is a little bit crazy sometimes but she's better with the boys.
That's like the best part though.
She's really good with boys.
So she like like any like dude that I date she's going to be like nice to and like hang
out with.
She like honestly I could just like go drop Pete off at my parents house and my mom would
just like have a conversation with him for two weeks.
You know so it'll be good.
Yeah.
I mean I think all my parents are you know good.
I mean obviously my mom doesn't have as much of an opportunity to meet people because she
doesn't live here but I can tell when my dad like truly like somebody or when he's just
making the effort because he doesn't want to like upset me.
So how does he act?
Is he just like oh yeah okay hey uh.
I don't know it's just not overly friendly.
Yeah I mean that and like doesn't like attempt to have like like he'll tell me all the time
tell Brandon I did this or tell Brandon I bought this you know at the store or ask Brandon
this about like a cut of meat or something like that and he's not going to make that
effort if he doesn't really give shit.
Right yeah.
He would just let it live and when that person is present they're present and when they're
not they're not.
Yeah so what are you doing for the Super Bowl?
You staying at their place?
No.
You're coming back or you have a party?
He has to work.
Oh so what are you gonna do?
Um I well you know along the normal lines nobody answers text messages these days or
whatever.
I put a feeler out in our group message the other day and said what's everybody doing
for the Super Bowl?
Rose is the only one who answered.
What group what group message?
The message that you started about the hockey game in the dog bar.
Oh I didn't respond I don't know where were we when y'all said that?
No I said it the other day I was like by myself it was like during the day or something.
Oh was that like on Monday or Tuesday when I was sick to death?
Oh that's true yeah that's probably.
Yeah that's when I turned my phone on silent and was like in a dark coma.
Yeah are you gonna be back to watch it?
Um so I don't know yet but I have to be at work I have to actually physically go to work
next week and so I can't be like drinking a bunch on Sunday.
No I mean I don't want to I have to work on Monday.
And I have to like I have to get dressed I haven't done this in a long time.
And you have to drive somewhere what are you gonna do?
I have to dress I have to drive and I have to park and walk and like it's gonna be a
whole thing so and I have to be like presentable and stuff so I can't like just be in leggings.
Well you're always presentable so.
Not necessarily.
Yes you are.
Sometimes if I don't have a meeting like on a Monday morning I'm I don't have any
makeup on or whatever you know you never know.
So yeah so I have to go to work so I don't know I would prefer to come back to honestly
I don't really care about the Super Bowl that much is it the Chiefs and the.
The Eagles.
Eagles.
Philadelphia.
And I don't care about the NFL either like I'm a fan of like some of the like old Auburn
players that are in the NFL but like I don't have an NFL team.
Um but I if I have to pick when I'm picking the Eagles just because my company has an
office in outside of Philly.
So the only thing I really care about for the Super Bowl is well first of all I want
to know who's gonna I mean who's who's do oh it's Rihanna Rihanna's the Super Bowl
halftime right.
Because the only reason I know that is because I listen to Howard Stern like every morning
at you know in the morning when I wake up it turns on automatically because I love Howard
Stern.
Shout out to you Howard if you're listening I love you.
So they have these bets going on with and it's Richard Christie who is like this crazy
dude that just like does everything and I forgot what they so I'm half asleep usually
when I'm listening to this but I think that one of them has to like this is disgusting.
I probably shouldn't say this on here but like one of them has to like cut their they
were talking and this may not be what they're actually gonna do.
They were talking about like somebody cutting off their pubes and like the other one having
to either put it on his tongue or like glue it to his face or something.
Like it's a beard.
Absolutely not.
And I forgot what the other one was like they were gonna make some guy was gonna have to
make out with this other dude and like that was the bet for like whoever lost because
there are two guys one guy's like really big Chiefs fan and one guy is a very big Eagles
fan or actually maybe he's not but he's a fan of something else.
Anyways I don't know all the details but I'm excited to hear what happens so that I can
listen to to them on Monday morning and see the outcome.
That's fair enough.
Well I did get a text from my mom tonight.
She's trying to get caught up on the podcast and she was talking to me and I was like you
know is there anything that you want us to talk about you know on the podcast or whatever.
And she was like the Super Bowl baby it's current and I said well it's on the list and
she said Tom Brady retirement and it is Giselle in his future.
Did you watch the Grammys JLo and Ben are all the buzz.
You got to watch the pop culture to do the podcast.
Have you seen the Tom Brady like picture that you posted.
What the hell is that.
That's like his first ever thirst trap and like how do you think.
Why is he holding his hand in front of his.
I don't know but you're not getting your wife back after that.
Like you just look you made yourself look cool.
Was he trying to get his wife back though.
I mean I don't know.
I figured like I don't know I feel like there was a little bit of hope when he like came
back for one more year and now he's retiring again but I feel like he just like set the
divorce in motion with going back and now he's like fuck how it turned out.
I don't know.
Also I don't think like he's very skinny to be a professional football player.
He's not attractive.
I don't think so either.
No Giselle is hot like she is very beautiful and she still looks like a 20 year old.
100 percent.
You know like amazing and he's just like his is like kind of looks like skin like I feel
like it's just like hmm like maybe.
You really examined this photo huh.
Well no I didn't but I was like why does it why was his hand I need to pull it up but
I'm seeing it in my head.
The one thing I want to talk about my question for the photo is why does he have on like
cream colored underwear.
Was it cream?
Put some white underpants on in the photo that I saw.
He probably did that because he first of all it's probably the color he was wearing that
day.
But second he probably doesn't you can see if white ones you can see through them.
You put your hand in front of there anyway.
What does it matter?
You know his hand was in front of it.
It was because he's trying to cover up the fact that it's not very big.
Because if it was big you know it would not be covered up okay.
Well it also probably I don't is it on Instagram?
I don't know it couldn't it may not be.
What was it on?
I don't know.
I'll have to look it up while we're talking.
Listen but I'm I'm not for that.
Yeah me either I'm just like.
But I was never a Tom Brady fan anyways because he's bullshit.
He was bullshit at the Patriots.
He's a little cheater cheater pumpkin eater.
I don't like him.
He's not attractive.
He he can go away.
I don't know anything about football like professional football except for like nothing
except for I know who Tom Brady is.
I don't know he's married or was married to Giselle and they had kids and they were like
beautiful and whatever.
But and Tom Brady is like apparently is he like the goat or something?
I don't know for for football is he?
I don't know that's what everybody says.
That's the only thing I know.
I don't even know who he plays for played for.
I don't I don't care.
Tampa IDG AF.
Yeah that's fair.
Yeah so yeah that picture.
Yeah he's I don't think he's attractive.
He like he's got a long neck with a big like goiter looking smile.
Yeah he's got like a goiter looking Adam's apple.
Let me pick look how big that picture like the picture.
Oh yeah.
Look how big is Adam's apple thing.
He's like a goiter.
He looks like a European soccer player in that photo.
Yeah he's look how his neck's long like butter beans.
He's he just doesn't look to me like I mean he does look like he would maybe be like a
bat.
He does look like a soccer player like he's in shape for it like not a yeah not for a
football player.
Yeah they would he would be bigger.
He's lacking some meat on his bones and you know I like those those my man thick AF.
Love it.
So yeah I hear that.
Oh Tom Brady.
So anyways.
Well we'll see what happens with the Super Bowl I guess.
So have you made any bets for the Super Bowl?
Absolutely not.
Oh my gosh.
So you know that you can bet on like what color hair Rihanna is going to have in the
Super Bowl halftime show.
You can bet on that.
Like with like professional like yeah they have like yeah they have like the apps or
whatever.
Yeah they have so many crazy things.
That is so bizarre.
That is the wildest thing or like who's going to be there.
Like if Leonardo DiCaprio is going to be there they're like have they have like odds it's
like betting for like a like a horse race or a dog race.
So weird.
Yeah wild.
I don't know.
Like it's too much stress.
You can't even have fun like watching it when you're betting on something like that.
I just watched the Super Bowl for the commercials and hopefully the Clydesdales will be there
but I know that they kind of like sort of discontinued them but didn't really discontinue
the Budweiser.
Interesting.
Yeah they still have them but they discontinued them a long time ago and then they got that
puppy I don't know.
Maybe I'm miss speaking but I'm pretty sure they don't have them anymore.
All right.
Well so after that so after you know the Super Bowl we have Valentine's Day actually excuse
me is Galentine's Day on Sunday on the.
Yes it is.
It's no it's on Monday.
It's on Monday.
Yeah.
Okay yeah so I don't know why I thought it was on a Sunday.
So Galentine's Day and then Valentine's Day.
Yes.
It's coming up.
And do you want to know what else Valentine's Day happens on Valentine's Day?
Jolene turns two.
Oh yeah.
Is that her real birthday?
No.
I don't know what it is but I got it.
Yeah because I got her on August the 15th and six months before that was February the
15th.
Why would I make it February the 15th instead of making it Valentine's Day?
Oh that's true.
I do have a friend that has a Valentine's Day birthday.
Happy birthday Mariela.
I miss you.
I wish you would come back to Alabama.
But yeah so and I hate it for her because she's always like yeah like my birthday is
on Valentine's Day.
So it's like Valentine's Day but nobody forgets her birthday.
I mean maybe they do.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Happy birthday Jojo too.
Yeah.
Happy birthday to the little bean.
So what are you doing for Valentine's Day?
Honestly nothing.
I am not a Valentine's Day fan.
Me either.
Not really.
I just I well I don't like candy so I don't really like.
You weirdo.
I know but like I just it doesn't like tickle my fancy so like I don't really give a shit
about the things that like are sold.
But Brandon will tickle your fancy.
I don't care what's sold in the store that time of year.
Just ignore it.
Yeah absolutely I'm ignoring you.
But I don't I don't know and like I feel like going like I've gone out to eat for Valentine's
Day before or whatever and it's just a shit show.
There are people everywhere and I mean if you have a reservation you're lucky.
Like I remember one time going with the guy that I dated when I very first got here and
he did he would not make a reservation for anything.
Honey I brought like bought a matching pair of like underwear and bra and put a nice dress
on and heels and we show up in this restaurant and they were like it's gonna be four hours.
And I was like.
What restaurant was it?
It was Firebirds and I was like absolutely not.
Firebirds.
Four hours.
Lord.
I was so damn irritated at that point.
And so do you want to know what we ended up doing?
What?
We went to I think it's Salvatore's and went through the drive through and ordered a pizza
and took it home.
Oh so I'm gonna tell you my pizza story.
I don't know if you're done with your story right now but I'm gonna tell you my pizza
story.
Oh I'm done.
I was just mad.
That's why I just don't like Valentine's Day.
It's pressure unnecessary pressure for couples and men and women like getting each other.
Every holiday Christmas is like that too.
Yeah I mean I don't know.
I just feel like it's one of those things where like let's just be hypothetical and
say your man you know or your girl whoever forgets to like get you a card or something
for Valentine's Day.
Don't be mad at that shit.
Come on.
It's a stupid holiday about candy and love.
If you're in love already that is all that matters.
Consumerism.
Yes.
But also like Valentine's Day how do you forget that day?
I mean I agree.
And here's my thing.
I wouldn't even care.
Like I forget which day Christmas is a lot but I shouldn't.
Yeah but get something same day.
I don't even care.
One flower.
Yeah go pick it out of the bush outside.
Hell yeah.
At least you remembered.
Like that's it.
But like I'm not about to like be mad at somebody if they forget Valentine's Day.
Or just like make me dinner or something.
And that's what Brandon's doing is he's cooking dinner.
That's nice.
I mean I'll be here recording on actual Valentine's Day with you who will be my Valentine.
Yes.
But we're gonna do Valentine's on Wednesday.
Oh yay Valentine.
You should have worn that pink shirt or purplish pink shirt for Valentine's Day.
I mean I can wash it.
I ordered.
Did I order them?
I think I ordered some Valentine's Day heart earrings to wear for Valentine's Day.
I'm really excited about them.
So do I need to wear Valentine's Day garb over here?
Yeah but like t-shirt and like leggings within your heart earrings.
Well I don't have any heart earrings I don't think but I'll find something to wear.
Like just like yeah you don't be like fancy but like cool.
Well I'm excited about recording with you on Valentine's Day.
But I'm gonna tell you my story about my Valentine's Day on year.
Okay.
So this was a while back and I think I was just out of a long relationship where I had
like lived with the guy.
I think I may have told you.
Did we release that episode?
Yeah I think we did.
The one that was folding your underpants.
No no not that one.
No a different one there.
I was living with him and the one who had girls over.
Yes.
So I'm pretty sure I was like just out of that relationship and I'd moved into an apartment
and it was the first time I'd ever lived by myself.
So before that I'd always had a roommate or like lived with him or had roommates or whatever.
And so I moved into this apartment by myself and then it was Valentine's Day.
And everybody I knew had like a boyfriend.
They were going out for Valentine's Day doing all their Valentine's Day whatever.
And so I was like I'm ordering a pizza and that was when they did the heart pizzas.
I think it was like Domino's maybe and they did the heart pizzas.
And I was like hell yeah I'm getting a heart pizza and I'm getting it delivered.
And like Domino's is like I think it's Domino's and I hate to call somebody out on this but
like it was a long time ago.
So Domino's you're forgiven but the guy that did this is not.
So I order this pizza.
Three hours later they still haven't delivered it.
And I'm like calling them like hey and I was like okay so I'm gonna order this pizza.
This heart shaped pizza and I'm gonna sit at home and I'm gonna watch like whatever
shows I feel like watching or movies.
And I'm like yeah this is gonna be the best Valentine's Day ever.
Order that pizza.
It doesn't show up.
And so I like call them and they're like oh he's on his way.
He's on his way.
And I'm like okay.
Well then they told me he like I think they told me he came and I wasn't there.
And I was like that is baloney because I have been here literally standing by the door this
whole time.
Well so at that point I lived in this historic building that had like this big staircase
to go up to the top and then you had three floors to go up in stairs to get to my unit.
And if you're a delivery person I am sorry but you have to go to the door.
Hell yeah.
You get paid and you also get tipped to do these things.
I did not order.
I would have gone and picked it up if I wanted to do that myself.
So the dude calls me he gets there three or four hours late however long.
It's like midnight.
I don't know it wasn't midnight because I think I ordered it really early but it was
really late and I was like waiting for this pizza.
I'm starving.
I'm already pissed off.
He calls me and it's like uh you gonna come get this?
And I'm like excuse me?
And he's like I'm out here.
And I'm like okay well I'm in here waiting for you.
And he's like I don't know where to park.
And I'm like excuse me?
I'm like he's like there's nowhere to park.
And I'm like yes there is.
Just park on the, put your flashers on like every other delivery person.
I go down there.
This dude is sweating, dripping sweat.
He is the big, I mean and I'm not a small person so I'm not like saying anything about
being fat or anything but this dude was the fattest MF'er I've ever seen in my entire
life.
In his big van and he's like sweating to death all over my pizza.
And he was just too lazy and fat excuse me to go up my stairs and bring me my pizza.
And then he was like after, so I got it from him and he was like he looked at me and he
said where's my tip?
And I was like excuse me?
You made me walk all the way down here and you think you're in your four hour sleigh?
You lost your damn mind.
What?
I'm like no.
Like what the hell?
So that really pissed me off.
That was my favorite Valentine's Day.
Did you eat your heart shaped pizza though?
Yeah, I think I did but I'm pretty sure that it was like cold and like the top had been
pushed into the cheese.
You know that kind of thing so I don't know.
But yeah.
And oh, oh, oh, excuse me.
And they had run out of heart shaped pizzas.
So I didn't get the heart shaped.
Oh so you did not?
So I just got a round one.
Oh my gosh.
Well Brandon asked me yesterday or the day before he was like do you want a heart shaped
rib eye?
Was he gonna cut it?
Yeah, they said that they were going to do heart shaped rib eyes again and he asked me
if I wanted one and I was like no, I do not care about that.
If you want one, get one.
That is totally fine.
But I think all they do is like cut it down the middle and butterfly it.
Cool.
So which is basically like a piece of chicken.
Yeah, I'm not getting a heart shaped piece of chicken.
But I just it made me laugh.
I'll take a heart shaped rib eye.
I'm good with that.
I've been single for a very long time so like Valentine's Day has never really been a thing
for me.
And honestly even when it was, it was like I would rather stay at home like you said
like it's too much to go out and do stuff.
Like the world, we don't have enough restaurants and like places to go for all the people that
want to go have two top tables for Valentine's Day.
And then most of these places they like shut down and they're like oh you have to make
a reservation.
It's kind of like New Year's Eve or whatever.
So I've never really done stuff like that.
I did go one time this one guy took me out for Valentine's Day and then he was really
nice.
It was great.
It was the first time I ever like got dressed up and like went out for Valentine's Day.
But he ended up like kind of like being an a-hole to like the server and it was just
like.
That's gross.
That's such a turn off.
Yeah it is.
So I have a little off topic but I do have an update from my mom.
She's texting me right now and I told her we were recording but apparently she didn't
get the memo which is fine.
But my mom would like to provide an update on a story that I told previously.
I think it was two episodes ago when Pete and Brandon were here on why my parents got
divorced.
Oh okay.
She said in FYI there was no headache associated with the pink with Pink Floyd.
Just a flat hell no I'm not going to the concert.
I understand the headache story might sound more interesting though.
Oh she didn't want to go to the pink Floyd.
My dad didn't want to go.
Oh he didn't want to go?
No.
Does he not like Pink Floyd?
No he does not.
That's hilarious.
Oh my gosh.
I swear I did not make it up that it was a headache.
I swear that's the story that I understood it.
Do you know what I appreciate your mom for like peacing out after that because like my
thing with a relationship is that you should even if like you don't like to do the things
like sometimes like you know what I don't always want to go to like my significant other's
parents house for Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever but you go because you love that
person and that you want to support that person and that person loves that too.
You know like you should go.
Absolutely.
I mean you don't I mean I get it like you shouldn't have to go to like every single
thing but like go.
But it was one of those things where like I mean granted this was I mean I was young
like I we moved to New York when I was eight years old so I mean we're talking you know
27 years ago at this point but it was one of those things where like how often is Pink
Floyd going to come to Birmingham Alabama.
Right.
Not often.
Buck up and go Daddy-O like come on.
Right.
I mean I'd be pissed too.
And get a t-shirt.
It would be yeah I mean it would be way different if it was like let's just say for example
you know jam band folks they follow bands everywhere sometimes there are spouses that
don't go together because one may not be able to go or you know whatever but you're going
to 20 30 40 shows a year you know the folks that really travel to go see them you're going
to a bunch of shows this was one time.
Yeah one thing.
You had to go one time.
Yeah.
Just one thing.
I'm sure it wasn't just one thing though.
It absolutely was not and my dad is a phenomenal phenomenal human.
So like.
You know sometimes it doesn't work out.
And like people have different interests and things.
A hundred thousand percent and I have no regrets about their divorce in any capacity I mean
it really sucked living far away from my dad for you know the 12 years that I did but he
was a great long distance dad and you know my parents made sure that we were able to
travel back and forth as much as we could.
But my step parents are great and I said that in you know this the last episode that we
talked about this as well.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Not for one second.
Cool.
So how about the State of the Union address.
How do you watch it.
Old Joe Biden.
We tried to pull it up but got some kind of air on Hulu that like whatever subscription
we didn't have it which we didn't try very hard that was on Brandon's phone not mine
I know that Melanie and I have the primo Hulu but I didn't try to pull it up.
So honestly I don't really know I don't do a lot of politics stuff like I don't get into
all that I try to stay out of everybody's business and I don't really watch the news
like politics stuff a lot because it just pisses me off.
But that was the most energetic I've ever seen Joe Biden.
Like I think that they gave like he took a nap all day and then drank a big pot of coffee
before he went out there and then but Pete what was crazy is that like Pete he would
say something and people in the out in the audience would be like screaming liar liar
and saying like like heckling him kind of it was terrible.
I was like ee I mean but I get it like they don't agree with what he's saying they're
trying to like but I don't know I feel like a better it could have been a better way to
do that.
Oh I'm sure I mean and I like to live in my quote unquote you know rose-colored glasses
world too I tell people I don't have the news just you know and I'm not ignorant about the
things that are going on but I like you don't want to deep dive into like all that kind
of stuff because it's just depressing sometimes.
There's a lot of people that there's a lot of crazies out there I was I've been scrolling
tick-tock here lately and there are people out there that genuinely still think that
Trump is president there are two militaries there is the correct military yes there is
the correct military that is under Trump's control and then there is our regular US military
it's wild.
What is that?
I've been seeing it on tick-tock this week it's been crazy.
Oh my god this is why I don't have tick-tock.
These people are like I mean a lot of them are older and you know whatever but they are
living in this like delusional world that Donald Trump is still our president and this
is craziness like what world are you living in?
If Donald Trump was a president right now then Donald Trump's doing a terrible job.
I'm just saying like we need to we need to have an election soon that sounds terrible
but like honestly everybody knows Joe Biden's not doing a great job so we'll just say that.
He needs to step up his game I think and honestly I'll probably get some slack for saying that
because...
Flack.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I don't think you're gonna get slack.
I'm not getting any slack for that I'm getting what's flack?
Grief.
Oh I'm gonna get some grief for that guys.
I'm gonna be grieving.
So anyway that was an interesting State of the Union address like I just thought it was
very interesting.
I should go back and watch some of it.
I recorded it on a YouTube TV.
Oh did you?
Okay.
Yeah.
Also like so there was this guy how was I think it was the same day I think it was State
of the Union or whatever day that was.
This guy so one of my friends on Snapchat he sent me this thing at he I guess he was
at work and it was a video of the TV and some guy scaling a building and I think it's Aaron
Arizona maybe.
He's like climbing up I think it was called the chase towers or something like these two
tower and it was I guess it's an abandoned building and I'm like why why are people watching
that like why first of all why this why is this guy doing this apparently he is a pro
life activist or something and he climbs these buildings so that he can like raise awareness
for being pro life.
I don't know.
I think that's weird because you are pro death if you're climbing up this 100,000 or pro
choice for climbing up your own building but they got to the top and they arrested him
immediately.
That's wild.
But I was like thinking I'm like why do they have to arrest him but apparently it puts
other people in danger because if he were to fall.
What if his body fell and smashed on your face.
And also it's like not his property so like it's somebody else's property so if he falls
like it's a liability insurance and stuff but like you know what if you choose to do something
that you shouldn't do you your insurance and your whatever the liability should not be
on the the building owners like that is ridiculous.
If our and if our law allows that that is even more ridiculous.
You know I mean I feel like in that case if something were to happen like and he did fall
and die or whatever it would I would be very surprised if like his family or whatever if
there was a civil lawsuit if they were to win any money over that.
Well I don't know you never know these people are crazy these days they sue happy and all
kinds of stuff.
But you know I get it would be different if there was like a ladder and it was like easily
accessible to climb up to the top of this building and then he fell off.
You know I don't know.
But the guy chose I thought it was weird but he did he made it to the top.
It wasn't really eventful apparently it was like he walked he climbed to the top scaled
the building went to the top like no slips or anything just like boom boom very tall
building I was a little scared.
That would give me anxiety to have to watch something like that.
Yeah there were a lot of people down below like cheering cheering them on and stuff and
I'm like okay.
No I would not be cheering.
Yeah no I mean I feel like I've never done it before but you know those like virtual
reality goggles or whatever like if.
Oh no that's scary.
Okay I know.
So like fear of heights.
And that was on TikTok for a while too like people were in these goggles or whatever and
they've got him like out like you know on a plank or something like that above a tall
building and then like somebody will come from behind like push him off and they're
like really losing their shit because it's like you're falling for real.
Oh my god no this that is like terrible.
I have dreams about I have dreams about like going up an elevator that has no no walls
or it's like okay so have you ever been like these dreams.
Terrible.
I don't even know how to describe them but it's like my fear of heights.
I like sink to the floor and I'll be like laying on the floor on these in these elevators
because I'm so scared I'm like oh in my dream.
Are you scared of heights for real.
So I don't think so but yes a little bit.
So I'm afraid of a lot of things but I pretend like I'm not.
Does that make sense.
And so like my dad when I was little I went on like the roller coaster because my brothers
were go or my Eric was going on it and my dad and they wanted me to go on this roller
coaster called the Big Bad Wolf which I don't think they have it anymore at they don't because
we want a different one at Busch Gardens and they that was my first roller coaster ever
and it went upside down and went over like water and all this stuff and I was just tall
enough to go.
Well my dad was like you were so brave you're always so brave and you're always like you're
my bravest child and blah blah blah and I'm like I'm not brave.
So I guess brave that would be the definition of brave maybe but I was like I was scared
to death the entire every time I do something I'm scared I just hold it in and I do it because
like I want like not that I want to but I like I guess I want to I want to like be like
like my brothers or whatever you know.
And I was definitely a fearless child but I'm terrified of heights.
Most of my dreams are either about snakes or they're about falling.
Oh yeah falling is bad.
Yeah.
I'm scared of snakes all the time.
That is the most common.
I'm not scared of snakes anymore.
I wonder what that means.
I'm not scared of them.
I mean I don't want to have a run in with like a rattlesnake or anything but like I'm
not scared of snakes.
The other day so I woke up I had the weirdest dream and it seemed like a really long dream
and it happened several times where I was driving and the brakes wouldn't stop and I
like kept like driving it was like I was speeding and I couldn't slow down and I would like
get in an accident and it happened multiple times in the same like I don't know if it
was the same dream but you know how it kind of like starts over.
And I got up and like immediately was like I've never had that type of a dream before.
I have a lot of recurring types of dreams.
Yeah that's what I've never had that type of dream before.
So I'm like oh my god but I google it and it's like that means you feel like you're
losing control of your some part of your life and I'm like oh my god what part of my life
am I losing control of?
I've googled before like the snakes thing and I can't remember I can't remember what
it was if it was about like you know something and you're going through a period of change
or something like that I can't remember what it is.
Change a snake oh my god you know how you were scared of a snake coming in the toilet?
Yes.
So the other day I don't know why but I like started I like looked and I was like oh my
god there's a snake in the toilet.
So I'm looking at the toilet and I'm trying to figure out how a snake would get in from
the outside of the toilet without crawling from that like from the pipes.
Have you seen what okay so the water that goes into the tank comes from a small tiny
little pipe thing from the wall so if it came through the tank it would have to slide through
that little like thing where all the water comes from from your water pipes.
I don't know how to get in the water pipe but if it came from the bottom part the waist
part how would it get in there would have to be some type of like hole in your either
waste where it goes out to the sewer or like in the piping or in the water pipe.
I think that we're underestimating snakes as a whole because when my sister listened to
this episode Jerry was like they absolutely can come up into the tank.
But how did they get in there?
Listen I don't know but it is a reality ma'am.
I don't know about that.
Like I'm just I wish somebody would email us and tell us how this works.
Listen you made me feel like I was kind of dumb for a second and then Jerry reassured
me that I feel like I know what I'm talking about.
No I think both of you are crazy.
Like there's no way like if you look at the if you look at the hardware of a toilet like
how is it gonna get in there from the inside of the toilet.
I can't believe we're revisiting this again.
No I can because I sat on the toilet and I was like sitting there and I'm like I'm like
looking and I'm looking at the back and I'm like like what is okay so the the pipe like
it's tiny and then like the bottom part like it would have to get in like I don't know
how like that's not possible.
We'll see.
I mean it might be it's everything is possible.
I think that everything's possible.
If we go if we take men to the moon and to space and if or whoever it was just sent people
to out of like civilians to space then you know we can do anything.
Yeah but I don't know if a snake can do everything.
They don't they don't have shoulders so that does help.
On those shoulders.
You're crazy.
So okay so let's move on.
So I know that you have so we didn't talk about Galentine's Day but are you doing anything
for Galentine's Day?
No but I would.
That's on Monday right?
Yeah.
Can we do a Galentine's Day a different day?
Yeah.
Why is everything so I just hate Monday's are not good for me.
Next week is going to be a very hectic week for us.
Yeah it is.
We've got a short week.
We are going to the lake to celebrate our friend Erin who's married to Santana and Erin's
turning the big four zero so we're having a wintertime lake trip and it's gonna be great.
Oh my gosh we should play Edward 40 hands with or we should make Erin do it because
it's G.
Where do we get 40s from?
You gotta go to Georgia.
Shoot.
Yeah we can't get them here 22 ounces is the biggest.
I don't know we can look into it.
Okay we'll think about it.
Yeah.
All right so FMK.
In the spirit of Valentine's Day our FMK is conversation hearts.
Those are those little like those little be mine.
Yeah.
What are they called conversation hearts?
Yes.
Why do I know that's what they were called?
Well yes so conversation hearts chocolates or chocolate covered strawberries.
Okay so I really think that conversation hearts are cute and I like to read the little things
but I don't think they have any like new ones they're all like be mine and like.
Love you like LUV.
Yeah you know like you know how Taco Bell has the sauce packets and they write on them.
Well they change those up a little bit like every so often like they've changed like the
mild ones I don't know maybe they put because I get mild sauce they put some different ones
on there so conversation hearts get with it and put some maybe they do I don't know I
don't ever buy those but.
I don't either.
I'm gonna kill those because I don't really like those.
I know you're probably gonna marry those because you like stuff like that.
I know I don't.
You don't like chocolate and I don't know why we're even doing this with you because
you don't like any of this so kill those and then what was the other one just regular chocolates.
Yes.
The other chocolate covered cherries strawberries.
Yes.
Okay so I'm going to marry the chocolate covered strawberries and fuck the chocolates because
I don't know what type of chocolates they are and chocolate covered strawberries just
like what's up.
Yeah.
And it's fruit and it's sweet and it's like strawberry and chocolate and get it but the
only thing bad about chocolate covered strawberries is that when you bite into them chocolate
always gets falls onto my shirt.
It's like the worst thing ever.
I put a bib on.
I know I need a bib anyway.
It's like for everything.
I'm like I could drink water.
Oh my God.
I gotta tell you this story.
I know we're in the fuck FMK but my boss we were on a zoom the other day and Thomas I'm
sorry but I have to tell the story.
It's hilarious.
He's sitting there.
I didn't see him do it.
I wish I'd seen him do it because I like looked away for something and he goes oh or no I
was like sharing my screen.
He goes oh my gosh oh my gosh.
It was like I was like whoa.
He was like I just threw water on my face because he had a cup of ice and a cup of water
and he was like throwing ice in his mouth like because he was chewing on the ice but
he picked up the water cup instead and like threw it down his face and he threw water
all over him.
Oh sorry.
Okay so.
That's pretty good though.
But yeah like I need a bib for everything.
Well you're gonna be pleasantly surprised because I'm gonna make the same choice that
you did.
Really?
Okay.
Yes.
I'm not a conversation hearts kind of person.
Like I'm very picky about flavors and they don't have flavor.
It just tastes like sugar.
Well I disagree.
Oh really?
Yes.
I the only ones I like are the white ones.
What are what flavor is that?
I don't know.
Probably.
I don't know.
The red ones are like something and the green ones are a little minty and I'm like not the
minty I like.
I don't think any of them taste good.
They all taste like sugar.
It's like marshmallows.
Yeah so anyways I'm gonna do that and then I'll fuck chocolate because I only have to
do it one time and then chocolate covered strawberries.
Yeah.
For life.
I'm down with that.
Listen I'm not like a anti-chocolate person but like I'm not gonna choose chocolate.
Like I don't want chocolate cake.
I don't want chocolate frosting.
I don't want chocolate ice cream but like if you give me like a soft vanilla ice cream
I might put a little chocolate on there.
You never know.
So are you gonna eat like will you eat like cheesecake?
Absolutely.
Okay.
I love cheesecake.
See I know like when I for your birthday I told Mason I was like we need to get her like
something like a cake and he's like don't get her a cake.
You can't get her a cake.
You gotta get she doesn't need cake.
And I was like well I know she doesn't like sweets but like we have to get her something.
I like cookie cake.
And so he was like we're getting her a cookie cake and I'm like okay cool that's fine.
But like who cares if you don't like it.
You still need a cake for your birthday.
Like you don't have to eat it but it's a celebration thing.
Oh so next year I have to have a real cake instead of a cookie cake?
No you can have a cookie cake.
Okay.
Cookie cake's fine.
I just like yeah he was like oh and I'm like girl if you had to get a cheesecake.
I just thought you didn't like sweets at all.
Like the other day when I got out the cookie dough that I eat that's like not edible cookie
dough.
It's like the regular cookie dough.
Because that's like listen I've never gotten sick from the regular cookie dough.
I eat it out of the thing.
I don't make I don't bake them.
Like what's like what is the point of baking cookies when the cookie dough tastes so much
better?
Listen I agree.
I like cookie dough though.
And I mean chocolate chip cookie dough is fine.
Yeah.
And I mean I buy the edible like Pillsbury.
Yeah so you're so like good.
That stuff's not as good.
It is good.
It's one little bite.
Not as good.
I mean what I listen I ate your cookie dough when you brought it out.
I know.
And you thought I was going to tell you no.
And I ate like a you were like one little bite and I ate like a whole big spoonful.
I was like oh yeah I'm getting a spoon.
I was like kind of like eating peanut butter out of the jar.
I just need a small fix of like salty sweet at a time.
That's all.
Yeah.
And a chocolate chip cookie dough is kind of like salty sweet.
Yeah for sure.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah that's the FMK for the day.
Yeah.
We love you guys.
I know.
Thanks.
Thanks for being with us this week.
We will see you next week.
Hey guess what?
We need you to do us a favor.
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Just don't listen to it out loud.
Yeah.
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So we appreciate you doing that for us.
Yep.
You can find us on Instagram at Thick AF Podcast and if you have any FMKs or other topics that
you want us to cover, go ahead and shoot us an email at thickafpodcast at gmail.com.
We'll see you guys next week.
Thanks.
ABCDEFG.
I have to go.
I don't know why it's so good.
Oh my God.