Welcome to the Thicc AF podcast. I'm Dan McLean with Emily. Hey, it's Emily McLean.
I was going to say that, but I wasn't sure if you wanted me to say that. Now everybody's
going to know your secret. Oh my God. I'm on the show that I've heard so much about.
Oh my God. Who else is here? Sarah. Sarah's here with us. Emily and Sarah have put on
how many podcasts now? This'll be seven. Yes. Yeah. Wow. So I'm number seven. Number seven,
but it's only because we forced him to come down here. It's so my birthday is tomorrow
and happy early birthday. Yeah. He had to get a tooth something or other. He had to
go to the dentist today. I had to go to the dentist today. Yeah. And I had surgery done.
Yeah. I had to have a dentist surgery and he came to my place in Birmingham to stay
with me. He came back from the beach and him and Karen and my mom, she's upstairs. She'll
be here soon. Hopefully she's cooking upstairs cooking some dinner. I can smell it. It smells
like we're hoping that she's going to come on the podcast. We're trying to talk her into
it. Yeah. You guys have been wanting her for a long, long time forever, forever. And everybody
else has been too. Listen, they've been, they've been wanting her on WDRM. You know, they tried
to hire her to be my partner many years ago and she really, I thought she was just saying
that as a joke. No, no, that was true. Mack Bramlett who owned the radio station said,
why don't you have Karen be your partner? That would be hilarious. It would have been
great. Well, you would have hated each other. Right. We'd have had a divorce. She would
have had two parents together in the same house. Not only that, but she does like a
four letter word or two. So well, yeah. Then she doesn't like to, she likes, she loves the
spotlight, but she doesn't like, she doesn't want to be famous. Right. But the thing, the
thing about the four letter words, don't you think I didn't think about that. I figured
my finger would have carpal tunnel from pushing the mute button every time she went to say
something. Oh my God. Yeah. Cause it was live. Everything was live. You would have had to
do all the work too. It would have been, she would have been like, Danny, you're doing
it. No, it's not my job. Look, you're doing it. I married you and I'm cooking you dinner.
So if I cook it, I'm not cooking you dinner tonight. If you don't do this. So I made it.
I made it. Do you want dinner? I need to be like crap. I might have to eat Chinese food
tonight. You've been around Karen enough for the last 24 hours to where you at, like you
sound good and like her. Sometimes you like can't get it quite spot on, but it is great.
So sometimes, yeah, when I'm with her, it's like my dad, when he was with his dad, pop
pop, he would start talking just like pop. Can you pop pop accent? Well, that's why we
all talk like that. I know it's a bull up. Where's pop pop from? Pop pop was from Pennsylvania.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But he would always do this kind of thing. This talking like that. And
we all picked it up. The two boys, your brothers, they pick it up. They don't do it like you
do. No, when we get around pop pop, my dad would just be like, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.
I'm here in heaven. You ready for some drinks? Oh yeah. It's five o'clock. I think we need
to have some whitey, some cocktails. Whitey. No, a whitey. It was just a Martini. Oh, just
vodka. Well, he would have gin. Okay. But didn't he have like a seltzer, like a waterer?
He had a spritzer of vermouth that he would take. But he had like this fancy like thing
that like, it's kind of like a soda water maker thing. And put carbonation in the vermouth?
No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I thought he did this. We call it a spritzer, but it really was like
a sprinkler. Oh, okay. It's just it would put out a drop at a time of vermouth because
you don't want to overdo the vermouth in a good Martini. Yeah. But that was his drinking
choice. He had a dirty Martini. I paid a whole $20 for one on New Year's Eve. A dirty one?
The only thing I don't like, we're, we're. Yeah. We were, that was when we went to our
tasting venue dinner for New Year's. Oh, and I stayed with the Huntsville. Not impressed.
I left a Yelp review, but I wasn't like heinous about it or anything. We went to, I don't
know if I want to say it. I feel bad. Well, tell us so that we can talk and we'll cut
it out if we need to. The revivalist. It's off Jefferson. If that's how much it was,
let everybody know. Have you heard about it? That's what I wanted you to know. No. They
had a prefix menu, but they advertised it on Instagram as a prefix menu. I think it
was four course menu with a wine pairing for $80 per person. And so we got a reservation.
It was me and our, my friend Melanie and then our other friend Kelly. And so we went up
there and come to find out the wine pairing did not come with it. It was an extra $30,
but we're at this nice restaurant that we had to have like, you know, a reservation
for. And we're like, okay, I've never done a wine pairing event. I'm just going to go
ahead and shell out the cash for it because surely they know what's up. If they're choosing
wines to pair with these, you know, courses, it was bullshit. Our first course came out.
Can you say that on your podcast? Sarah will get mad at me when I would be like, it's B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
and she'd be like, you're not going to say it. Aaron doesn't want you to. I was never
allowed to say that on the radio, but continue your story. See, we have to, we have to check
a little box that says there's explicit content. But it came, first course came out. It was
oysters three way. They brought a plate with, um, two sets of oysters on one plate, two
sets on another plate. They put it in front of one me, one Kelly, and then Melanie's like
waiting. They put just like a little, you know, saucer in front of her for sharing and
Melanie's like, do I not get one? And they were like, well, the chef only makes it one
way and he puts two oysters on a plate. So because you guys are a threesome, then you
know, you have to share one of them. And so we were like, okay, whatever. Oh, so you own,
how many oysters did you get? So we got, we each got one of the three ways. So it was,
um, raw, baked and fried. And so then we had to split like the last round of them or whatever
or why never came out at the same time. We had to wait for it. Was it packed though?
So like, so it sounds like they just, they were not prepared running food. So, I mean,
they knew what they were. I mean, it was a prefix menu. That was all they were serving.
There was no other option. And so then the bar is behind. So Melanie, you know, asked
our waitress, you know, are we not supposed to get the wine with, you know, like pairing?
Hello. And we want the wine before we have anything. When we sit down, we need wine.
It took us 30 minutes to get our oysters. And from the time that we sat down for our
reservation, which is the only reason why I ordered a damn cocktail to begin with. And
that hooker turned out to be $20. Well, that is pretty expensive, but I took Emily to Vegas
in October. We're out there. We're in a casino, tired of being in the casino. I said,
we're going to go for a walk. So we go down and walked at the strip. Oh yeah. It's like
10 o'clock in the morning and I wanted a bloody Mary really bad. So there was a standup bar
out there and there's this girl, cool lady bartender. Like in the New York area. Like
you know, have you been to Las Vegas? Yeah. Like in the New York where they have like
the statue of Liberty and like the big apple thing. So Emily and I say, okay, we're going
to get some bloody Marys. We'll go over there. We're the only ones at this place, but it's
a beautiful sunny day outside. And I said, do you make bloody Marys? And she said, yeah,
sure. I said, well, I'll have to, you know, so she fixes us these two bloody Marys. And
then we start drinking them and standing there. Also, they're just regular bloody Marys. They
don't have any like fancy anything in them. No, they weren't fancy or anything. They didn't
even taste cup or anything. They didn't taste it. No, they were a plastic cup, right? They
didn't even taste all that good. Anyway. She says, do you guys want another one? When we
get down to the bottom, I said, no, we're going to go. And she gives me the ticket.
And it's like $50 for two. Lousy bloody Marys.
Hear me out on that though. I do expect that in a place like Las Vegas. And the only reason
why I say that is because I paid $20 for a mimosa in the Las Vegas airport one time.
Las airport. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, in Las Vegas, I kind of get it. Like I've also paid
$20 when I immediately got off the plane at one of those little stands for a margarita
and cancun. I get that. But at some restaurant that is like, I don't know, like in Princeville
Alabama, like, no, that's ridiculous. And also the problem, you know, my thing is when
you go out, you should be getting a product that you can't do yourself at home or that
they are doing better than what you would do at home. And the service should be, it's
the service you're paying for really, because they're, they're making it for you. They're
making it hopefully better than what you could do at home. And then they're bringing it to,
they're presenting it in a way that you can't do for yourself. So I don't know. That's
well, you know, the service we had for those two $50 Bloody Marys was very nice. She was
a very nice girl. She had great conversation with us, but it wasn't worth that kind of
money. Oh no, she was very nice. Yeah, that's true. No, I think I would, I would hesitate
before I do a prefix menu like that, because I feel like at that point they're just trying
to bang people like through there, you know, like get them through, get them done, get
them their courses, get them out, you know, let's have the next ones come in. And that's
not what it's about. Well, it sounds like that place wasn't prepared. Like have they
been open that long? I don't know. I honestly don't know. And you know, can they blame it
on COVID shortages or is it like staffing? No, I mean they had people running the food.
Like there were specific people that you could tell were probably part of their management
team or something like that. And they were running food out. So it wasn't just our server
being swamped with tables, which also wasn't the case. Yeah, I don't know. Well, the problem
is you don't want to go back there. Do you? Yeah. Correct. There you go. So businesses
are running into that all the time with poor service. Which is unfortunate because also
we're going out for the convenience of not having to do it ourselves. Let me just have
a public service announcement for all the people out there in the world. If you are
going to a restaurant, you would expect somebody to serve you the way that you would want to
be served, right? You want you want to be served. So if you are working in a restaurant
or if you're working in anywhere that serves someplace, you should serve somebody the way
that you would want to be served. It's like the golden rule, right? Free others like you
would want to be treated. Why are people? You've got the wrong parent in here for this
conversation. Your mom should be here. I know, she would be pissed. Right. Oh yeah. She'd
have a lot to say about that. I don't think all that. We'll get her down here in a minute.
You know, she has fired people before. She tells us she's fired people that are at that.
We were in a restaurant one time and she told the guy that she was like the owner's wife
and that you're fired. Honest to God, I swear. We were we were also in Las Vegas recently
and she told she told one of the servers that she didn't like the sommelier and and she
just said it to the guy like just in passing and then all of a sudden that's my did not
show up at our table anymore. They sent a new one and I was like, oh my God, she fired him.
But guess what? He deserved to be fired. No, he didn't. He was awful. Listen, no. If you
had been there, I think he wasn't awful. He was just very, he didn't get it was very like
stuffy and like, oh yes, here you go. You know, it's very, it was probably the way that
most people want to sommelier to be. What did he want to do to not get fired by Karen?
My mom wanted him to be like personable and be like, oh yeah, I like this and I like that.
You know, sommeliers can be snooty. This guy needed to be, he needed to go to work at Dick's
last resort. No, he didn't. He was awful. He was not like that. No, he wasn't.
Is that right? Is that your name on there? This guy was Princess Big Ass. Yes. Start talking about how small your
genitalia are and stuff. Small dicks. That's what they wrote in your head last time you went.
That's where that guy was headed. He was fired and he was going to work there. Oh my God.
Anyway, is it time to take a break? Are you ready? So anyway, so Grand Dan, so we're going to call him.
A commercial media damn sponsor for his shit. So Grand Dan is here. And so yeah, Grand Dan is used to
being on like the radio where they take, they only record for 10 seconds and then they take a break and then
they don't do anything for the rest of the day. So he is like three hours. That's because if we talked this much,
we get phone calls from listeners saying shut the hell up and play a song. No, they wouldn't.
They would back in the day because nobody wanted to listen. But now people are on a podcast.
They know we're going to talk the whole time. We're not playing songs. I understand.
Say he doesn't understand. OK, but but Grand Dan's here. Grand Dan McLean and a saucy is upstairs.
She's cooking some dinner. So we will go. We're going to go eat dinner round old saucy up and we're going to try to get her down here.
She said she's not she's not having a brown. So we'll see. Let's get it going. BRB.
All right, we are back and we are saucy lists.
My mom decided to to not participate.
She she we actually did record something the day that she and my dad were here, but she ended up, you know,
kind of backing out and wanting to make sure that she doesn't really like the spotlight.
So we apologize. We had to miss this week because we were late recording it and we thought we were going to be able to use it.
But then she backed out. So here we are. And we are going to use we're using the beginning, obviously, of the of what we recorded with my dad.
But we're going to we're going to improvise for the rest of it. We're going to give you guys a new show. Yeah.
Grand Dan stayed committed, saucy bailed, but she made a great dinner. So, I mean, she did make a clear.
And then the next day was my birthday and she and my dad stayed and my older brother, Eric, he came and we all went to dinner.
I unfortunately got sick. I had like this stomach bug and it was lasted for days. Yeah.
It's like not good. So that's another reason on top of all that, that and I've just been like out of it.
So I we apologize. I really apologize for us being late this week.
It really upset me. Like, you have no idea. Honestly, you guys are probably not as upset as we are.
So, well, I'm not upset at you. Thank you.
Keep should happen. Except our apology. Yeah. Apology. And, you know, we're back.
Hopefully it never happens again. But, you know, it may. It probably will. It probably will.
It's already started on and we're only on episode seven. So anyway.
So anyway, so we had I had my birthday. I'm 35 officially. So I caught up to Sarah, but she's still older than me.
Not even by 30 days. Oh, not even a month. Listen here. Oh, man.
But yeah. So where so. So do you have some FM case for us? Yeah, I do.
Let's jump right in. And I am going to have to apologize for my voice. I don't know what's going on.
I am not sick. I woke up today and I just sound scratchy. So my apologies.
I know what it is. And all of our friends know her boyfriend, Brandon, was sick last week.
Yeah. But then he showed up at our party. But it's taking me five days to get sick.
I don't. Yes, that's what normally takes that long. Yeah. It takes a little bit longer than that sometimes.
I don't know. I thought he was like out of the contagious like stage by that time. But you don't get sick.
Yeah. No, the contagious you get it. And then it's like there's an incubation period.
There's all things. That's why they that's why there are so many things with covid like you needed to quarantine.
Yeah. But I mean, an incubation period for me would have been like eight days because he was contagious before Saturday.
I don't know. But you can still be sick. So we're calling me patient zero now. No, not patient zero.
Brandon was patient zero in this case. You will see. I don't feel bad. I'm tired. But in my voice just sounds like this. So OK.
Anyway, because you're somebody, I don't know who it was, sent you nice flowers for your birthday.
I decided to come up with this. Fuck, Mary, kill roses, carnations and Gerber daisies.
Kill carnations, of course. That's my mom's favorite flower. Is it really?
Yeah. So interesting. Kill carnation. Fuck roses and Mary daisies. Yeah. Yeah. Same.
I love Gerber daisies, but I can never like I never get them because my birthday is in the winter and they're like a seasonal flower.
Yeah, it's not. Yeah. Well, I mean, you can probably get them at some place that has them like, yeah, in a weird situation.
Yeah, probably so. But they're expensive. So yeah. Cool. I like that one. What else you got? Anything else? Yeah.
Do you want to do yours? I'll do one. OK. OK. OK. This one's kind of boring. Mountains, beach or lake? Oh, oh.
I'm fucking the lake. I'm marrying the beach and I guess I'm killing the mountains. Really? Yeah. Why? So give me some.
I mean, I love the beach, first of all, like if you were to only give me beach or mountains, I'm going to the beach.
I like to sit in the sun. I like to be tan. I'm probably going to look like a leather old lady, but I don't care because I do wear my sunscreen every day.
But I love the beach. Love it. The sound of the ocean and the smell. You just can't beat it.
I would say probably not the mountains. Like, I don't really go to the mountains a whole lot.
And maybe that's why I'm just not like super into it. When I was in New York, we went to Lake Placid.
That's like the most mountain stuff I've done in years. So I guess I'm just not super thrilled about it.
But I love the lake because Jolene is a boat dog now. And I love watching her her little life jacket ears flapping in the wind on the boat on the lake.
So, oh, OK. Yeah, nice. Yeah.
I used to think that I liked the mountains more. But now that I've gotten older and smarter, I like the beach more because at the beach you just you're just lazy and you lay there and you get drinks.
And then sometimes, you know, if you're at a beach where they have servers and they bring you drinks, they bring you drinks for you.
Yeah. Or if they have a beach bar. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
So the beach are I would probably marry the I don't know, marry the I might marry.
No, I'm going to marry the beach. I'm probably doing the same as you. I'm fucking the lake.
Actually, I might fuck the mountains and kill the lake. I love the lake, though, but it's gross.
No, it's really gross. I mean, kind of. But like, I don't know. Yeah.
It depends on what lake you go to, like snow. Like, no, Smith Lake is beautiful.
Sometimes you can see all the way the bottom of that hole.
I don't know what Smith Lake you've been going to, but it is not the same Smith Lake that I've been going to.
That's that they're all just gross to me because everybody pees in it and it just like sits there.
And it's just like it's like the ocean, you know, you know, when there's like a day in the ocean where there's a bunch of stuff floating on it.
It's fine because it's moving and you know, it's huge. It's stagnant. Yeah, it's not sitting stagnant.
It's like, yeah, it's gone out. Also, I really don't pee in the ocean that much because but I know everyone does.
It's disgusting. Why? Why do I tell you to pee in the ocean?
And then you go out there and people wonder why it's so salty. Oh, that is not why.
You're crazy. No, I mean, I think nobody wants to do the long walk back up to the room every time you have to pee when you're drinking 10 seltzers a day.
But so do you think it's OK to pee in the pool? Oh, my God.
Please tell me you don't. Oh, my. Please don't tell me you pee in the pool.
You looked at me like, um, yeah, I mean, I know people who pee in the pool and I just like live with it.
I know one person that pees in the pool who's your friend. Should we say her name out loud?
It's disgusting. She's an adult and she's a teacher.
She should not be teaching children. Yes, she should.
She's no, but she's telling the she is she pees in the pool.
She is in the pool. Doesn't make you not smart. It just makes you dumb.
That's so gross. I don't want to swim with her. I'm going to count the number of times that you get out of the water to go to the bathroom when the next time you're at the pool.
You have you should. I pee more than you do at the pool.
And I know because I'm always I'm always like trying to get in that stupid door at y'all's pool place.
And I'm like, what the heck is this pool or this door? Y'all are like, just pull it really hard. It's like, yeah, yeah.
It's got a magnet at the top and and people just break in.
Well, I mean, it well, it hasn't been working for like a really long time.
If it was really working, it wouldn't even open with a pole like that.
But during Covid, they like weren't locking it.
And so I don't know if they just still haven't locked it or if we did like mess it up at some point.
I don't know. Interesting. Yeah.
Well, OK, you got any more FMKs?
Well, I also want to talk about the why I'm going to kill the mountains.
And it's because it leads into my next FMK.
I don't really want to go hiking. I just want to look at them.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Like, like now that I've gotten older and smarter sitting at the beach, you don't have to go hiking.
I mean, you can go on a walk on the beach. Sure. But it's not like climbing up mountains.
Yeah. And if you walk close enough to the water, it's not that sand that just like moves everywhere and makes it challenging either.
Well, it is still like it's like one side of your leg is. Yeah.
And then the other. And I don't like to get wet because then when your foot, feet are wet and you get back in the sand,
your feet have sand stuck to them. And I hate that. Oh, I hate that so bad.
Listen, there is no possible way that anybody can go to the beach and not have sand in every crevice of their body.
It's like natural exfoliation from that and the saltwater every time you take a shower at the end of the day.
It's even good for your hair. OK. That's my theory.
I know. I just don't like it to be stuck wet, stuck to my feet.
You know. OK.
So I don't really want to climb a mountain.
But now my next fuck Marykill is exercises of not necessarily like an act of an exercise,
but like distance running, rowing 2500 meters, climbing 15 flights of stairs.
Those all sound terrible. You said how long of a distance is the run?
I just said distance. So I'm going with like five miles.
OK, five miles, 15 flights of stairs or 2500 meter row.
Honestly, don't know how long that is, but I like rowing.
But I honestly I think 15 flights of stairs is actually really short.
And I think I might rather do that than.
Then distance run a run to kill. Oh, these are FMK.
So kill the running because I have bad news, so I can't I used to run all the time.
I still hated it, but I did it anyways.
Run kill running.
Mary, the rowing, I think I'm going to marry the rowing and then.
Fuck the stairs. No, incorrect for me.
You're going to run. No, God, no, I'm not running.
But can we just kill all of them?
Yeah, I mean, of course we can kill all of them.
I mean, it's not like we're doing it anyways.
How do you think we stay this thick?
I mean, listen, I was I was this thick when I was doing Orange Theory every single day,
except for Friday and but like honestly, the tread was like not the good part.
Like I finished on there and people will probably say I should have started.
But if I had started on there, my heart rate would be up if you did a time and I die.
If you did a run row. Well, no, I do. You do.
Have you done orange? Yeah, that's why I'm asking.
If you're doing a run row, you want to start on the treadmill?
No, I don't want to start on the treadmill.
I want to end on the treadmill every single time I start on the rowing.
Oh, I totally agree with you. Yeah. OK.
Yeah, I like to start on the rowing.
And I mean, I'm not running. I'm walking uphill.
Yeah. The running actually at Orange Theory.
And I know we're kind of getting into a different topic, but is in my opinion,
running is easier because you're not having to go up those when you have to like do the
what do they call it? The pushes or whatever. Yeah.
You don't have to go uphill. I do not like walking uphill at the fast pace.
It's like you might as well be running on a flat surface.
You don't have to like you can just push yourself on a flat surface like a little bit.
Yeah, I would rather run. No. Yeah.
So I'm killing running because I mean, I was a three sport high school athlete
and I may not look like one now, but I was. But I always hated running.
I was never a runner and I would fuck the 2500 meter row because I hate rowing.
I get shin splints from it. It's stupid.
And so I would fuck it one time one night stand that hole right there
and I will climb 15 flights of stairs every day.
You have 15 flights of stairs. I feel like I do it every day.
Every time I have to take out my dog or even come back on a row.
Yeah. I mean, fair enough.
But I would still huff and puff and get it done and be done with it.
Wouldn't take that long. I feel like rowing is so easy in my opinion.
I just don't like it. Shin splints. It hurts. I don't like it.
It's not my favorite. Shin splints from rowing? Yeah.
Interesting. And maybe I'm doing something wrong and that's why that's happening.
I don't know. Probably. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Me either.
Yeah. So, OK, cool.
Well, so I have another one. You got another one? Yeah.
Do you want? Do you have another one? I can do another one or you can do one.
You go. All right. Fuck, marry, kill. Greece, Iceland, Brazil.
I've never been to any of those places.
So going off of what I've learned on the Internet and on movies, you said Greece, Iceland or Brazil?
Yeah, I would marry Greece, fuck Brazil and kill Iceland.
I would do the same thing. And the only reason like I do want to go to Iceland
because I want to see the Northern Lights and I think that would be a great place to do that.
However, I heard the food is terrible. Oh, really? Yes.
I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it could just be a bad rumor.
But like based on that knowledge that I have, I would have to kill it because I like to eat food on vacation.
Certainly they have something up there that would be good. Yeah, bread.
But so OK, so when you know how in the United States there are like French restaurants, Italian restaurants,
and you know, they're like Italian Americans, some of them are like more legit Mexican restaurants.
When you go to like other countries, because do they have like American restaurants and Mexican restaurants?
Like if it's not a I mean, I think that's a little hard to sort of explain.
I guess I remember I went to Europe in high school and I went to Germany, Italy, Switzerland, France and Austria.
And the program that I did, the majority of breakfast and dinners were paid for.
So it was whatever they fed us, which was the local cuisine there.
So we did have some opportunity to kind of go rogue.
And like I had the greatest toasted salami and cheese sandwich when I was in Italy.
That's I don't really know if that's like Italian, but I had the best Italian.
I know you said, but I just when you said Italian, you didn't say it Italian.
I just thought about, you know, the movie, I'm a glorious bastards.
Yeah, Italian or whatever he says. I think it's hilarious.
I had the greatest cheese pizza in Austria.
So I don't know when we were in Greece, I mean, we ate Greek food for sure.
But every restaurant is a little bit different.
Like you're it may be some of the same stuff on the menu, but it doesn't all taste like can you like go on the street corner and get like a hot dog?
Um, I mean, we so when we went, we were we went in Santorini for the first couple of days because we were there for a friend's wedding and we didn't.
I mean, we kind of had an agenda in the beginning.
Like we did a few sightseeing type things or whatever, but we didn't venture off very far.
And there were only a couple of restaurants right near where we were staying.
And then we went to the rehearsal dinner, which was at this other place.
And I mean, it was a prefix menu. Yeah.
And then when we were in Athens, we stayed in Plaka, which is near the Acropolis.
And the only sort of different food we had is when we left the Acropolis, we went had breakfast somewhere and it was like a pretty average breakfast place, you know, eggs, toast, bacon, that kind of stuff.
So, I mean, I wouldn't call it American.
Like they had some stuff, you know, that, you know, you could tell everyone has. Yeah.
But what is American food anyways, though?
Like, I think it's like a melting pot of all the food. Well, that's yes, exactly.
That is my my opinion is that you are 100 percent correct.
Like we got a lot of our foods.
I mean, I would say maybe Southern food is the most American, but I mean, then you've got like grids.
Right. But then you've got like, I mean, Philly cheesesteaks.
Did those come from somewhere? Because that's pretty American, too.
I don't know. Like, I mean, the even the pizza that we have is not the pizza that you're going to get when you're in Italy.
Yeah. Ours is like fried, greasy, nasty.
Well, that and then even their pasta, like their spaghetti is like not red sauce with meat in it.
It's basically just chunky meat.
Like that's their regular spaghetti. Where? In Italy.
Yeah. Cool. Well, interesting. I don't know.
I've only been to like I mean, I've been to the Dominican also and then Mexico.
But when we did that, we were at resorts.
So, I mean, they had everything that you wanted.
The right. Yeah. You know, it was like, you know, yeah, yeah.
Made for Americans or anybody, really. But yeah.
So, OK, I don't know. We can do one more FMK. Yeah.
Sure. All right. So we can do this is all man.
This is all kind of East Coast sort of. So like New York City, Atlanta or Chicago.
Well, you want to do pre-COVID or pre-COVID?
Well, it doesn't matter to me because I've been to New York one time.
I went home with my college roommate one time for a long weekend.
She lived in Queens. I saw very little of it.
And so I don't really have like a whole lot to say.
Atlanta, I would probably kill it. Oh, yeah, for sure.
Like, I mean, go Braves. But like, I don't really give a shit about anything else.
I'm not a huge fan of Atlanta. No. And I've never been to Chicago.
Well, and I have my company has an office there. So I'm going in May.
I know that's a lie. I'm going for for our holiday party next year.
I'm going back to Philly in May. I forgot. So it's going to be cold then.
I know. Well, it was cold in Philly this year.
So I mean, Chicago is not going to be that much different, right?
No, it's going to be like really cold probably.
But I mean, I don't know what the difference is, but like different than it.
What I'm saying is different than in May.
Like it's it'll be a little it would be a little chilly.
Yeah, they have like the flowers and it's just. Yeah.
No, I'm not going in May. I have to. Yeah. I have to take that back.
I'll go in May at some point, I'm sure.
But I would marry Chicago because I've heard wonderful things.
And I'm fucking New York and I'm killing Atlanta. Same. Same.
Atlanta's I just I don't know. My sister lived there for so long.
And like we I did get to go and like do a lot of stuff there.
And I mean, it's a convenient place, you know, no, it's not convenient.
You drive like four hours to go 10 miles. No, no, no, I know.
But like, you know what I mean?
Like we went for to go see Giggly Squad or whatever.
Yeah, I mean, it's convenient from here, even if it takes forever to get there.
Like an event place anyways for the things that don't come to Birmingham. Right.
But I still don't care enough. Yeah.
I also don't really like like downtown Atlanta is not really my favorite. No.
Any. Yeah. Atlanta's not. Yeah. No, thanks. Hate it for them.
But I don't know why so many people live there.
I know. And I've got a few people from work that all live in the Atlanta area.
And I'm just like, no, thank you. I'm good.
Yeah. I mean, when Jerry when Jerry lived there and they would go back to Auburn,
they would leave on a Friday to go back, you know, for football games.
And it would take them like four and a half hours to get there.
Take them two hours to get out of the city. That's insanity. Yeah.
That's crazy. I can't.
I can't. This is why I know that that's like on on the precipice of how you're going to end your Friday.
It would make me want to. Yeah. And then people still go out afterwards.
They're like like or if you go to work, you have to like leave really early in the morning.
This is same with like D.C. and New York and like big cities like that, too.
Like you have to leave your house, bring everything with you.
If you're going to go somewhere after work like the gym or like unless the gym's at your house or whatever.
Right. You've got to bring if you're going to dinner and like, you know, you have these all these articles online about like
taking an outfit from dinner to work, but like here we can just like easily go home and change really quick.
I mean, I thought it was a pain in the butt when it would take me 35 minutes to get home.
I can't imagine having like an hour, hour and a half commute that is it like a total of probably 20 miles in the morning and at night?
Yeah, no. I would never. You couldn't pay me enough money to do that. No way.
This is why working from home sounds really great or like, you know, I don't know, make like drones that everyone can ride in or something.
I would still be traffic. It would be like that movie, The Fifth Element.
Yes. Yeah. Ruby.
OK, sorry. So do we want to do our email that we got or do we want to do mom stuff?
I want to talk about the things that we talked about with Saucy because they made me giggle.
OK, so yeah. So when we saw he was here, my mom, Karen, Karen, she we we brought up some topics and they were actually really kind of funny,
like things that when we were little we would talk about we would do.
Let me think about some of this stuff that we talked about. Oh, so when we were little, my older brother, Eric, and he was here at the when we talked about this.
He he always wanted those light up sneakers, the sneakers that you like.
You step and they light up like for little kids. Yeah. And they still have them these days.
But like my mom did not. She thought they were tacky as hell.
And she did not want him to have them. And also, and maybe she didn't want to spend the money on them either.
But I'm pretty sure she thought they were tacky that.
So she told him she was like, no, you can't have those shoes. They cause cancer.
So, yeah, I can't imagine being a child and being like a number one.
What is cancer? Like, because unless you've kind of experienced it, you know, in some capacity, I really don't think that it it means much other than it's a bad thing.
You know, and then also all you want is the damn shoes. Right. Exactly. Cancer shoes.
I was just saying that, like when you're a kid, all you want is the shoes. So like that's just an excuse, I guess. Yeah.
She just was crazy. She she there were so many things that she told us when we were little that were not true.
She would tell us lies upon lies, one lies about stuff that because she either didn't want to spend the money on her or she just didn't want us to like do something.
Find some light up shoes and buy them for Eric now. Oh, my God. He would love them.
You know, when he worked at this this hospital, I can't I won't say what it is.
He he used to wear those heelies. Remember those heelie shoes that had the the roller skate? Yeah.
The bottom of him used to wear those and they roll around everywhere to when he worked.
It was so funny. So, yeah, he probably loved them. I think you should try to find them some.
Well, yeah, we'll have to we'll have to look for some. He's I think he's a size 12.
So, you know, we'll see if anybody knows about any light up shoes for adult men.
No, let us know. I think they have some. I think one of our friends who got married or one of my friends,
I don't know if you were really friends with her, but you probably know who she is.
I believe she and her her husband like had light up shoes.
I know she did had light up tennis shoes for her wedding. But oh, cool. Yeah.
I don't know if he did. All right. Well, we'll have to look into it then. Yeah, that's cool.
Oh, yeah. So she would also she would take us to McDonald's or like Burger King or whatever fast food place
we were going through the drive through.
And usually it was McDonald's because there was a McDonald's right down the street from our house that like opened up when we were little.
She would take us through and we'd be like, we want a number five, a number one, a number whatever.
And she'd be like, we ain't and she doesn't say ain't, but we ain't doing numbers.
You're eating off the dollar menu.
You guys each got like a cheeseburger and you all split like the small fry or she would get like a large fry and she would eat all of them
and then like give us all like three fries each.
Oh, did your mom ever do this? Like if you got like a Happy Meal or whatever and which was like rare.
I'm just kidding. We didn't get we didn't get a Happy Meal sometimes.
She would be like, Happy Meals are too expensive. They're not anymore.
But like she would get us like a dollar menu burger because we wouldn't eat all the stuff in our happy.
So what she would do is she would get the French fries.
She would get it all and she would like eat a bunch of it out and then hand it to us.
And I'd be like, where'd my fries go? Where's all my chicken nuggets?
No. Well, here's why. My answer is no, because Don never let us eat out like rarely.
We didn't get to eat. I mean, we have the majority of the time we were having a sit down meal at home.
Like sometimes even after a sporting event or whatever, we also didn't have a drive through at our McDonald's in town.
You had to like go in. What town? In Canton.
Cahoo. Canton. Yeah. OK. We didn't have a drive through.
And so and then we didn't have that was our only fast food place for a long time.
And then Burger King came. But I mean, what is the population of that town?
I don't know. I'll Google it or something. Population zero. No, obviously not.
But anyways, she would never let us get fast food.
And so my grandparents, my dad's parents, we got he would get us fast food breakfast.
He liked to go have coffee with his friends, my grandpa, Paul, Paul.
And he used to have coffee with his friends on Saturday mornings.
And then he would bring us breakfast back and he would get he would buy the toy for us or whatever.
And because we would go to their house on Friday nights and we would have breakfast for dinner on Fridays.
Always sugar on the grits. That's disgusting.
At least y'all had grits with sugar on the grits. No, thank you.
I don't eat them that way anymore. OK, so that's what we need you guys to to comment on.
To send us an email or let us know on like Instagram whether or not you eat sugar on your grits or like just if you think butter, salt, pepper or just what you put on your grits.
What do you put on your grits? Yeah, that's a good question. I like grits with cheese, but I like mine to be like heavy cream in there or like some cream.
If you make them just with the cream and they're so thick, I like just with cream.
But we ate shrimp and grits at my dad's house. Me and Brandon went out there on Wednesday and we had shrimp and grits and Brandon made the grits and mostly water.
But then like also a cup of heavy cream at the end. Were they like the thick ground grits or were they McEwen's grits, the local grits?
Oh, I don't know what those are. Oh, they're so good. If you go to a restaurant around here, most of the time it's going to be McEwen's grits.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Cool. But speaking of things that my mom wouldn't let us do.
Well, first of all, they get Josie's just about once a week now. So, I mean, what's Josie's pizza, the pizza place I worked at in high school.
So, mom, I that makes me really angry that you have pizza once a week now and we never got to eat out.
So just I had to get that off my chest. And Don also never let me skip school. Never.
You want to how many times I was sick in high school? Four years, like four times once a year.
And it was when I was legit sick. Were you really? Okay. I was like, were you really sick?
But like, why would she let you skip school? Then you'd have to be at home with her or like she couldn't go to work.
I was in high school. Of course, I can stay at home by myself. Oh, what did you want to skip school for?
I don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to go. I was like a straight A student. But it was because the sports.
If I missed practice, I couldn't play in the game. That's nice of your mom because my mom, she thought that.
Oh, this is good. Oh, this is good. So she thought that my sports and things, which I was a cheerleader.
I don't really play any other sports. I don't think. I mean, yes, cheerleader. I did like intramural sports, but I was a cheerleader.
So I had to go. But I was at all the sports games because I was cheerleader. She thought that practice.
So when I was a cheerleader, our practice was seventh period and it was a class. We got a grade for this.
Yeah. So it was like literally I got a grade if you miss practice.
And I mean, it went after school, too. But like if you miss practice, you got grades like points deducted from your grade.
If you miss this and that. Oh, no. My mom thought that being a cheerleader was a privilege, which it is.
She thought it and it was not because it was not something that I needed to do for a grade and things like that.
She was like, this is your I'm allowing you to do this and it's an extracurricular.
So if you get in trouble, you're not going to cheerleading.
And I was like, Mom, you can't do that. I would like you can't you legit can't do that.
She have to sign you out of school. Yes.
Or like, yeah, but so seven period. Yeah, I would just have like to go home or like if I didn't go to a game or something.
Yeah. Like if you don't go and do a game that counts as your grade for your class.
So like she would just be like, you can't go to this game.
She thought she could. And I'd be like, no, it would be like a whole thing.
And we would we would go over it. I'd be like, do you forget like that?
You think that she would try to use it against me? Oh, well, you're just not going to go to cheerleading then.
And I'd be like, OK, well, then I'll get an F and you can you can live with that.
I am shook. She's crazy. I could not like miss school even if I wanted to.
Even when I was like sick, my mom would still for the I mean, obviously, if I wasn't contagious, she's a nurse.
She knows, you know, whatever for the most part, anyways, if you're contagious.
And she made me go because I had to practice. I had the thing is like time and she made me go to softball practice.
And so my coach felt bad for me. But I think he also wanted me to play in the games.
But he would like it would be my turn to do whatever he would let me do it.
And I would sit down on first base when I was done.
Well, see, like sports, it's it's you're on a team and you were supposed to be it's supposed to be teaching you to show up for your team and certain things like that.
And you don't let your team down unless you legit have to.
And you can't my mom was just like, oh, well, it's just like she just thought that I guess because she knew that I liked it,
that it was the only thing that she could use against me for like she just didn't know how to punish us or me.
I don't know. Ground you tell you you can't hang out with your friends.
See what? Yeah, no, that's yeah.
It was she's she's weird. She's a weird lady. I'm telling you.
You have no idea. I remember we were getting fights about that all the time.
And I'd be like, you legit you like really you can't do that.
And she never did. I mean, I don't think it ever happened, but we get gotten fights about it.
And I'd be like, OK, well, then I'm just going to get an F and then or get points taken out like from my stuff.
Like she would just she's wild. You get cheerleading. I've got an A.
But like, you know, I did like when I was in middle school, we were going to say like a C or something like that.
Well, yeah. In middle school, we didn't have a class for it.
But we had I don't think but you got demerits.
And so if you didn't show up or whatever or if you didn't have your your ribbon in your hair or you didn't have the right shoes on or the wrong socks,
you had to have everything right. You got demerits. Oh, I got so many demerits because I always forgot something.
And it was I don't know why you're so well, it was usually because I was late.
I know this is why because I was late because we'll just say I learned a lot from the mistakes of my my parents.
Thanks, guys. And now you're well prepared and on time. Mercy.
Well, sometimes. Yeah. I mean, like I I try to be on time, but most of the time I am.
But, you know, it just depends on what it is. I think it depends on how high your ADD is that day.
No, I don't think that's what it is. I think it's more of a if I if I've got a lot going on that day and I know that it's something that I can be late to.
I'm just going to be like, OK, well, I need to take a deep breath here and like be a little I need to let myself be late to this.
And I try to do that because I sometimes get frustrated and I'm like and I still do.
I still I get anxiety when I'm going to be late for stuff.
I when we were going to dinner for my birthday, I was like having a panic attack that we were not going to be there right at 8 15 because for our reservation and my mom was still sitting in the car.
She Oh, listen to this. OK, so I listened to this comedy show.
I forgot who it was on Netflix the other day and I called my dad the next day and I was like, oh my God, this is so funny because the guy was talking about how his wife.
He was like my wife, I'll be will be we've driven 30 minutes to get to our dinner or wherever we're going.
And I get out of the car and I look back and my wife's down in there and she's like digging in her purse.
Her shoes are off and he's like, what are you doing?
And she's like doesn't ever shoes on. She lost her shoes, her socks, like everything's there.
And I'm like, this is my mom. I'm like you and he's like, you've had 30 minutes to like have all this stuff ready.
She's putting on makeup still. She's like, oh shoot.
And like but like the whole time she was like not ready and you're like, why are you so at Eric?
We got out of the car. This happened at the restaurant.
My mom literally was like, I don't have my shoes on.
And we were like, oh my God. And I was like, dad, this is just like that comedy thing.
I was like, yeah, I forgot you told me about that.
And Eric was like, Emily, this is why I love you.
He was like, I don't know why no guys want like or he didn't say that.
He said, I don't know why you aren't married and not every guy wants to date you because you're perfect.
He was like, if they all knew. And I was like, yeah, I need to get a sign that's a hanger on my neck that says I'm perfect.
But he was like, seriously, you are you like you're the only.
He was like, my wife does it to everybody like they're like not prepared.
Why are people like that? I don't know. I don't like it when other people are like, I don't like to lackluster about like a plan or not prepped.
And well, I just don't want I don't want to other people to wait for me.
Yeah, because I feel bad because I know how it is to have to like wait for somebody else.
Yeah. So that's why I'm always trying to make sure that I'm like ready to go.
OK, so this is a really great transition.
Can we now talk about the email that we got in reference to you pimping yourself out and podcast dating?
Yes. So we got an email.
So last so I'm going to give a little backstory if you guys did not listen to our last episode, our last episode for the wrap up for twenty twenty two.
We instead, Sarah told me that I needed to do a New Year's resolution and start dating again.
Yeah. Get back on the apps is what I said.
And I said, oh, no, that sounds terrible.
So she was like, well, we pimped me out on here.
So I don't know if Sarah did or Fry did it.
But we said, if you are interested in dating me, send us an email at thick af podcast at gmail dot com.
Well, unfortunately, for the first week or so, we didn't get an email.
But then we did get an email and it was very well written and a lot of thought went into it.
So that's why I think it took a minute to get to us.
Also, I think we need some more listeners and I think all of our friends out there, if you guys, I know you guys are always like, oh, all my friends are like, why aren't you dating anybody?
You should. Are you going to date?
Share the podcast so that we can get more followers and that more people will listen.
Please. Thank you. That's a that's an order.
So I'm going to read the email and just bear with me while I get through this.
If you guys are ready for this, the title, the subject of the email is down with the thickness to HICC Ness.
And then it says podcast, it says, Emily, well, I may not be a billionaire or a South African musician, but I do have a job, a dog, a house, no kids and a mutual disdain for the online dating community as a whole.
If that don't make you want to crash into me, I don't know what will.
Now, I can't take you places on a private jet, but I've got so much to say about the ones I maintain.
I'm sure we could have a good, good time.
What would you say you and me minimize the space between and two step like a couple of dancing Nansies to the song that Jane likes?
Funny the way it is that I even have to mention this, but I'd love to cover the fact that I'm no Cortez the killer.
No grave digger will be needed.
So you don't have to worry about anything weird like that.
I understand there might be a bit of Gray Street because I'm friends with Sarah.
I'm sure she will vouch for me and assure you that I'm sweet up and down and that at my worst, I'm just a drunken soldier.
Personally, I think I may be the best of what's around, but that may be a little too much.
Unfortunately, I don't know any Dave Matthews songs.
So what would you say if I said I'd be down to go on a date?
Pete, his name is Pete.
PS full transparency.
I'll probably find a way to get on your nerves.
So that was so nice.
And he did.
Yeah, if that doesn't like make your, you know, your heart tickle a little then something's wrong with you.
Yeah, that was that was really nice.
And he put Pete, you put a lot of effort into this.
I can't believe you did this.
Honestly, like this is wild.
And he is one of our biggest fans as well.
He got a little shit for not having an episode this week.
So we're making up for it now.
Oh, did he say something?
Yes, I got a text.
What did he say?
No episode.
Because he wanted to be on it.
Yes.
Because I did reach out to him when we recorded earlier this week and I was like, can we we had already done it.
So, I mean, it was kind of a done deal, but I figured he would say yes.
But I was like, can we say your name, you know, in the podcast?
And he was like, yeah, I don't care what you say.
And I was like, OK.
Oh, yeah.
So I do want to mention that.
So when when Granda and Anastasia were here, old Dan and Karen, I read this to my parents before Sarah got here this week.
And my mom was like, oh, my God.
She's like, is he coming over tonight?
When is he going to come over?
She's like, what does he look like?
Is he tall?
How tall is he?
And she's like, I mean, he's got to at least five eight.
I mean, that's OK. Five eight.
And she's like planning our our life together.
She's legit. And I'm like, seriously, he just wrote an email, Mom.
Like, I don't I've never met him before.
I don't know how tall he is.
I've never talked to him in my life.
He's Sarah's friend.
But like, chill out.
He is a very, very nice, kind human.
He likes to have a good time.
He also plays music.
He can play the guitar.
He can cook.
So, Pete, how about I give Sarah how about Sarah gives you my phone number
and we can talk about going on a date?
Yes, I love it.
We'll see. We'll see what happens.
But I don't I don't you know, we'll see.
You probably won't like me.
That's usually what happens.
No, it isn't.
That is ridiculous.
First of all.
But I there was also a proposal from I can't remember if it was your mom or your dad,
but a proposal that we do like a podcast episode on the first date.
Yeah, we'll we'll talk about that.
I don't know.
Like, do we think that that's going to make a little little awkward or should you know,
do you want to come over since you know, Sarah, I would like I would trust that you could come over here
for the first episode, like and be in my house and not like murder us.
But is that is that appropriate?
Well, I mean, I think it's up to him whether or not he wants to do that.
You know what I'm saying?
If he wants to like take you out on a date, I guess you could go out on a date.
And if you hate each other, then we're never going to put him on the podcast.
Also, like what type of date would you take me on?
Like, I don't know.
We need a follow up email.
Yeah, follow up email.
What do we need him to accept your proposal for a first date?
So write us an email and let us know what this first date is going to be like.
Yeah.
And then but also Sarah's going to give you my number, I think.
Yeah, for sure.
I will.
So you're welcome.
I mean, and thank you.
Thank you.
And you're welcome.
Yeah.
Also, so that's that's that's what's up.
Yeah, I feel weird about it.
I feel so bad because it's like your friend and don't know person.
I know you said that.
But like, I don't know.
I also feel odd.
I don't know.
I just feel odd.
It's just dating.
It's like weird for me.
Well, I know, especially with all the people watching, they're going to be like, everybody's
going to be like, how was your date?
Oh, and then my mom.
Oh, it's just annoying.
Hello.
On episode like three and four, my brand new boyfriend was on here.
So like.
Yeah, but you had already gone on dates with him and you had been talking to him for a
long time.
So like that's way different.
So we don't have to do that.
I did talk to him on that FaceTime for like 30 seconds that one day.
But we don't have to do the first date.
We'll figure it out.
We'll let you guys know what ends up happening.
I don't normally like a lot of people in my business because they ask.
I mean, I don't guess what you shouldn't have done a podcast.
No, that's that's different than like my mom and dad knowing like the person, people I'm
dating because they are always going to ask you.
And you know, if you just like, you know, when people are all up in your business and
you're trying to date somebody and then you just don't like that person anymore, you really
like the person and then you don't like and I'm just trying to figure it out.
Like people are like, what do you think?
And I'm just like, I don't know.
I has only been one day.
Anyway, so what's the matter?
Well, they might listen to it now.
This episode, just to make sure.
I think I think that's all he's not in it.
I don't know.
I think they do listen to it, but they pretend like they don't because my mom is upset that
she thinks that I say cuss words.
And you want to know what I did all night on Monday night?
Said cuss words.
And you want to know what Saucy said?
Nothing.
No, she said some stuff because I went back and listened to a little bit of it and it
was it was honestly.
What do you mean?
I was saying she said nothing to me about having a party.
She doesn't care about you doing it.
She cares about me.
And she's like, because I'm her baby girl and I'm supposed.
But she does it too.
She like in my entire family does, except for me.
I mean, sometimes I do.
You want to say a bad word?
No, I don't really have a feeling to do that.
OK.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's fair enough.
So we're going to wrap it up today.
And thank you for being patient with us and joining us again.
Yeah, also, I do want to have a like a call to action.
I need you.
We need you guys so that we can get better.
We can get better at this and we can, you know, get more listeners and things like that.
And we can continue doing this for you.
We need you to go out to our Instagram.
It's thick AF podcast on Instagram and share our posts.
Give us some light, some hearts or whatever you call them.
Go on, you know, if you don't.
Yeah, and subscribe.
Follow us.
Spotify.
Hit that thumbs up.
Give us some comments and ratings and reviews.
And we can, you know, when we get those, we read those.
And, you know, if you have any emails, the emails are great, too.
But sharing this is what's up.
Sharing is what's sharing is caring.
Sharing is caring.
I was hoping you were going to say that.
Sharing is caring.
So please share and, you know, like us if you don't like us, you know, you don't have to.
Not every we're not for everyone, but hopefully we are.
Yeah, that's the goal.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we appreciate you all and we will be back next week.
All right.
See you.
Bye.