Okay, so 60 mile an hour winds, my weather radio has been going off.
We're live by the way.
Hello.
And you might want to pull your mic a little closer to your face just a little bit.
There you go.
But also I can see your panties, Brandon.
Their compression shorts.
His panties are hanging out on the bottom of his pants.
Their compression shorts.
That's that thick thigh life right there.
I guess.
That's funny.
What's up, Brandon?
We have Brandon here.
Welcome to the Thick AF podcast.
We haven't said that in a while.
Right?
People probably didn't believe that I still had a boyfriend because he hasn't been on
here for a while.
We talk about it literally multiple times.
I mean, even last week we were like, do you think me and Brandon are going to be able
to have a boyfriend?
I mean, I'm not going to be able to have a boyfriend.
I'm not going to be able to have a boyfriend.
I mean, even last week we were like, do you think men should wear, what was it?
Leggings?
Leggings.
And you were like, Brandon said, Brandon said never.
That's exactly how often we should wear them.
They're not made for us.
I did get some feedback on that.
Actually, Jess, the girl who got the shout out, our favorite Canadian, she texted me
today and she was like, I feel like only chubby bearded men can wear leggings.
Why?
Because they don't look like little leprechauns.
I guess.
Or Peter Pan.
Yeah, Peter Pan.
Mason wore leggings for Peter Pan.
I'm still not wearing them.
But he's also, he's also could technically be a bearded, what did she call him?
A bearded chubby man.
Oh, he's not a chubby.
He's just a bearded big boy, like tall.
You know what I mean?
Like he's like, are you guys the same height?
Mason's like about an inch and a half.
We went to-
Taller?
Yeah.
About an inch taller than I am.
I think so.
Are you sure it's not with your hair up like that?
No.
Okay.
Yeah.
So are you sure?
Yeah, we measured it out in the kitchen and he's an inch taller than me.
An inch taller than you.
Okay.
Well, that's crazy.
And it's probably Mason's favorite thing about himself.
It's my favorite thing about Mason too.
Not really.
I love his personality.
He's very tall and also really fun.
Oh yeah.
I love Mason.
My favorite thing about Mason is that he wants to hold hands when he's drunk.
Mine too and he likes to touch my boobs.
I asked him about that too.
I was like, Emily said you like to touch her boobs.
I was like, you'd never do that to me.
He doesn't remember probably.
He's probably like, what?
He was just kind of sleeping on them and then his hands would go like this.
Like he's getting comfy in his bed.
Yes.
I was his pillow.
He's in a snuggle pillow and just does that little cup I guess.
Yeah.
Like he's sticking his hand up there like this.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
So tonight we went to Village Tavern at the summit because last week we went to out and
we got some good crowdsourcing ideas for the podcast and I hope you guys enjoyed it.
Tonight we weren't on So Lucky.
No.
So they wrote me into this.
Slim Pickens.
It was Slim Pickens.
No, we wrote you in before we had Slim Pickens.
I know.
I think that most of the young people from, yeah.
Yeah, three.
Oh, I'm sorry.
There's something underneath your arm.
Pick it up.
It looks like a spider.
Oh, it's a fuzz.
Do you see it?
It scared me.
It's on the table.
It scared the crap out of me.
Is that a cat hair?
No, this is like, like a cotton.
Yeah.
Like it came from my jeans pocket.
Yeah, probably.
Did you pick it out and put it there?
Oh my God.
Whose belly button was it?
I think it was Pete's.
I think it might have been Pete's.
I don't know.
It might have been, no, it wasn't Pete's.
It was this other guy that I was like kind of talking to.
And every time I saw him, he had a piece of-
How do you get belly button lint?
He had a huge piece of belly button lint in his belly button and I would collect it.
Do you have belly button lint ever?
And I was like, I'm going to make a freaking spider.
No.
When I do my Q-tips, I also do my belly button.
No, you don't.
You don't give me your belly button.
I did not know this about you.
No, I don't do that.
When I Q-tip my ears, I go for the belly button.
No, I don't.
Oh, okay.
It was a joke.
Okay, got it.
Got it.
Do you not clean your belly button in the shower?
I do.
I do too.
I'll stick a finger in there.
I don't always stick a shower, but when I do, I clean my belly button.
So tonight, the only thing that we got was like the hostess of the mostess.
And really her topic was, should we talk?
Do you want to do it?
Yeah, we can.
Let's do an FMK first.
I have a good one.
Okay, go ahead.
It's not that good, but I thought about it the other day and you might not like it.
Okay.
And we may have already done it.
Is it going to be a difficult one?
No, maybe.
Okay.
Brittany Spears, Christina Aguilera or Avril Lavigne.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
It's like midnight.
It's like middle school.
I think this is going to be unpopular opinion, but I'm killing Brittany.
Me too.
I love her.
And I'm marrying Christina Aguilera and I'm fucking Avril Lavigne.
Okay.
I like that.
Brandon?
I got to go the same.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not going to pick Christina over Avril.
Why not?
I don't know.
Wait, wait.
Christina's better looking?
You want to pick Christina?
I think Avril.
She just has kind of the teeth though, but Christina's teeth aren't like perfect.
Either are they?
That's, that's why that's all I'm settling on.
This is based on their teeth.
No, I think Christina Aguilera is going to be a freak in the sheets and I love that.
Well that's the F part.
No, I can have S-E-X when I'm married.
So I, I've been thinking about this because I've been on an Avril Lavigne kick lately.
I've been listening.
If you look at my Amazon music, like recently played, it is all except for my parents get
on there.
I have jazz in there, smooth jazz for pets.
Jazz for pets?
Yeah.
That's what I listened to.
It's really good.
If y'all, if y'all listen to smooth jazz for pets, you should listen to turtle dance by
Santino surfers.
They are my favorite, my new favorite.
Like, like it's a really good turtle dance by Santino servers.
Listen to it.
You'll like it.
Okay.
So I'm going to, I used to love Britney Spears y'all.
And I have to say this.
I'm going to be, Jessica is going to be like, what?
Because I literally love Britney Spears, but I can't hurt mental health and all the things
are just, it's too much for me.
So I'm going to have to kill her.
I love you, Britney.
I still love you.
Bless her heart.
And also she's just not as good of a singer as them.
She used to be just not anymore.
I just feel bad for her.
Christina Aguilera.
So I have thoughts on Christina Aguilera because she is still very popular and like doing all
the things and she's more popular than Avril Lavigne, I would assume because she's still
like out there doing like, what is it?
That turnaround chair show.
No, I don't think she's doing that anymore.
Oh, she's not.
Well, whatever.
She was doing it.
Voice.
The voice.
Is that one of the one when they turned around?
I don't really know.
But I remember seeing something like where she was.
Yes.
It is the voice that turns.
She's still on it.
I do not think so.
Well, but she's still kind of been in the public eye and making that money and Avril
Lavigne's kind of been away, but she has come back.
She's got some new songs lately.
Okay.
But, but I'm going to fuck Christina Aguilera and I'm going to marry Avril Lavigne because
Avril Lavigne wears all black and we would be like booze.
Oh my God.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's fair.
I like her style.
I see and I just want to try on Christina Aguilera's ass less chaps at some point in
my life from the dirty video.
Yeah.
If I tried that, if either one of us tried those on, they wouldn't fit our pinky toe.
I would like you to try those on also.
Okay.
I'm going to not be there for that, but let me know how it goes.
Okay.
Cool.
So, so y'all want to talk about this girl?
Yeah, we can.
The hostess?
There's so many.
There are so many, especially here.
Sundays get, the Sundays are the worst.
The church crowd is specifically the worst.
I don't know why.
Why are they so bad?
I don't know.
I have a feeling it's because they just came from being God-fearing, loving people that
they just like, they just came from being upstanding people that they just treat people
bad.
It's just, it's so bad.
They were holding it in?
Yes.
It's awful.
Like they were just like-
They couldn't hold it in for an hour.
I mean they could hold it in for the pastor, but they can't hold it in for the service
people.
It sucks so bad.
But some people are sweet, but it's a lot of Sundays that suck because I had one family
one time I told, it was like a Sunday night, I told them the bar was self-seating and then
they sat themselves in a bar because it's self-seating obviously.
And then they come back like five minutes later and they were like, don't tell us it's
self-seating and then tell them to ignore us.
Like I had told them, like I had told the bar people to ignore them.
So they have to go to the bar and order?
They have to go to the bar and one of the bartenders as soon as they're not busy will
go over to them and greet them.
And so like they acted like I had told the bartenders not to talk to them.
And it was so like, and I was, I just stood here like I was baffled.
I was like silent and I was like, I'm not sure what you mean.
Like I don't, I can't tell the bartenders what to do.
They acted like I have all the authority.
They always think you do.
I have no authority.
I have absolutely no authority.
Like I'm the youngest person in this restaurant.
I don't know.
Like the one that has to go be like, help.
I have no clue what I'm doing.
I don't know what to do.
And so they just like walked out and I just stood here like baffled for like five minutes
of what, like what just happened.
So I was like, what do you think I'm supposed to, what do you think I can do?
People get so mad when they're, it's like, yeah, people get so angry.
They think that they're entitled.
But you know what, I've been like, probably, but they'd only waited for like five minutes
and I'd like, I, I don't know.
Maybe they were having a bad day.
But do y'all call people anything other than Karen when they act like that?
I didn't even call them a Karen.
I just, I just thought that was unbelievable.
I don't, I don't have anything that I call them.
I just call them like crappy customers, like impatient, just entitled.
Yes.
What they are really.
Yeah.
Okay.
So the, uh, essentially the topic is church goers at restaurants, like Sunday, Sunday
crowd at the, at a restaurant and how rude people are.
And I don't know.
I've worked in restaurant.
I know Brandon's worked in restaurant, Sarah, you haven't, have you?
Small town restaurant.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Josie's pizzeria in Cana, New York.
But you know what, people in New York, do they go to church and then go to pizza on
Sunday?
Well, we were only open from four to eight on Sundays.
So there was no immediately after church situation.
Oh, well that is because the people that own Josie's is, are smart.
Yeah.
Sylvia.
Yeah.
So, but basically church go, I do remember the church crowd.
They don't tip very well.
Usually they, what else?
I mean, they're high and mighty and they're definitely rude.
Well, also like most, for some reason they have to church her, but I mean, like even
with my current job, you know, you, the after church crowd, people just seem to be bigger
dicks.
Well, I wonder if it's because, okay, so most of the time, a lot of times, I'm not going
to say most because that may not be the right word, but a lot of times people are getting
up their whole family.
They've got their three kids, four kids or whatever, two kids, how many kids you got?
They got to get them dressed in their Sunday best and their kids don't want to go.
And then they got to take them and then they got to like make them sit still.
If you went to the church like me, where we didn't have like kid thing happening, like
Sunday, well, we had, no, like we went to church with the family.
We went to, and it was Catholic church.
We had to stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down.
It's boring AF.
Like, you know, so, and you don't really understand it.
I literally, I remember except for they changed it on me like several weeks, it's probably
been 10 or 15 years since they changed it.
And so I don't really know all the words anymore.
But I like look, I could probably perform mass for you guys.
If you wanted me to, because I have been like when you're a child and you grow up in there
and you hear them say the same stuff over and over again and you stand up, sit down,
stand up, sit down and then for the communion, you know what I'm talking about?
Have you all ever been to Catholic church?
That's my favorite bell.
I have been to Catholic funerals and weddings and that's it.
Weddings and funerals are very long, but I like them better than regular weddings.
I don't know why I like that because I feel like they're actually like the regular weddings
are just like, okay, you're married.
Like in two seconds.
Yeah, that's the point.
Nobody wants to sit through a long wedding.
Let's get this done and over with.
People go to weddings just to go to the reception.
That's why they should allow you because Catholics allow you to drink.
You can drink.
It's not like Southern Baptist where you're like, if somebody catches you drinking something,
you're going to like go to hell.
Maybe I'm wrong about that, but yeah, pretty much.
You can drink in the, like the priest will drink and maybe they should just start having
serving wine and beer in the church.
That is a terrible idea.
That is the best idea.
I don't know what kind of thing it is.
You double fist it before you go sit down and then they have a cocktail waitress come
around and throw beers at people.
Oh my God.
If I get married, whoever marries me, I bet you they're going to love that idea.
I don't know.
You just walk in a beer.
Just walk in like here's a cool, or go sit down.
Exactly.
And you're going to hear in the background of the, yeah, like in the video, everybody's
going to be like crunching their beers on their head and stuff.
Oh my, no.
I mean, I'm going to go to your wedding if that happens a hundred thousand percent, but
like,
Well, you won't drink when you go.
Yeah.
If I had them serving drinks there.
Yeah.
Why would I not?
Why would they not serve drinks?
Everybody pre-games anyways.
I mean, duh.
You drink on the way.
I just wonder if you, I don't know if a church would let you do that.
Like you can have a Catholic wedding, but it, and serve cocktails for the wedding, like
the ceremony, but maybe outside.
Yeah.
I think they might.
You can probably do it at a venue, but not necessarily a church.
Well, you don't have to have it at a church.
Yeah.
Agreed.
Yeah.
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's growing on me.
Yeah.
Also, if I got married in the Catholic church, I think that the, pretty sure that my husband
would have to go to like classes and you have to do all that stuff and I get married
in Catholic church.
Yeah.
Don't you have to go through like couples therapy or couples counseling or something?
I think it's like, like you have to do like classes or something.
She's licking my feet.
My dog's in here.
Well, I see that, but she's wrapped around the floor.
She likes to lick my feet for some reason.
And you're letting, you're opening your toes so she can get in between the tracks.
I know, cause it's itchy.
That is disgusting.
It's so good.
I'm just kidding.
I hate it.
But when she does one and not the others and then one's really cold and the others aren't,
it's like, okay.
Rosie, you are not done here.
Let's go.
Come on.
Wrap it.
Finish it up, girl.
Does it taste good, baby girl?
Now she's on the bottom.
What shoes did you wear to dinner?
Flip flops.
Listen, this little dog, my ex boyfriend that I got her from, his name is Chris, he would
wear these like rainbow flip flops.
Remember rainbows?
Yeah.
I think they were rainbows.
I had the knockoff ones.
And his were like old and sweaty and stuff.
And he would get out of the shower.
He would have his shoes like by the door or wherever it was.
And he would go get in the shower and Rosie would have been in there licking them to death.
And they were like soaking wet from where Rosie licked all over him.
And he would be so pissed because he would have to put her shoes back on later on to
go do whatever he was doing.
But they had like Rosie's slobber all over him.
It was hilarious.
Greta used to get my panties out of my laundry basket and lick my panties.
Did she just lick them?
I've had friends who had dogs, like my friend Shanna, her dog used to chew up.
You would go into her house and if she left her panties out or whatever, her dog would
have chewed the crotch in half.
She would eat the inside.
No, thankfully Greta did not tear them up, but she would lick them.
I don't know why they like that.
I don't either.
It's weird.
They don't know what it is.
It's your scent.
I don't know.
I mean, it's a special scent.
The dirty scent.
Geez.
So yeah, anyway, church crowd to dirty panties.
Well, yeah, I want to go back to that for a second because I, you know, had an experience
with somebody who I'm not friends with anymore, but they, you know, wanted to go to church
every single Sunday or whatever, but would, you know, sleep around and get hammered at
the bar and whatever.
It was almost just like showing up at church was, you know, the rationale between that
bad behavior and, you know, being a good Christian.
Yeah.
And that, that bothers me.
Yeah.
I mean, especially when they act like you are, you know, like not a good person or something
in different aspects or whatever.
And the whole, I'll pray for you.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm gonna pray for you too, hoe.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Jesus, that hoe needs to be prayed for.
And that rhymes.
And I can do that for my bedroom.
I don't have to go to church to do that.
Yeah.
I mean, honestly, it even says in the Bible that you don't have to go to church to be,
to do religious, to be religious or whatnot or whatever they say.
I don't know what the thing is.
It's something about a rock or whatever, but it's been a minute since I've studied the
Bible.
I basically have never.
Yeah.
Well, I haven't studied it, but I've heard a few verses.
You've dabbled in a couple of pastors.
When my parents.
Pastors?
Passages.
Pastors.
When my parents were married, we went to church every day.
And then every day.
Every Sunday.
Sorry.
Oh my God.
Y'all relax.
No, wait.
Your parents are in church.
No, and I mean, we had, like, we had a lot of friends at church and we didn't mind or
whatever, but when we moved to New York after my parents got divorced, we went for a little
while because I think my mom was just trying to keep consistency because it was something
that we had done growing up and we were used to that, but it didn't last for long.
And I don't know.
I just, I forgot what I was saying.
So what was I saying?
Hold on.
About how much you hate going to church every day?
No, I wasn't saying that I hate going to church.
That you went to church every day.
I know.
I forgot.
We're going to have to fucking cut it out now.
No, this is great.
It's okay.
I thought you go to church every day.
I thought you hate going to church.
No, we didn't know.
Like, who wants to go to church with chickens?
It wasn't that, but like, I don't know.
I mean, it just didn't feel necessary anymore.
And so, you know, we quit going and that was like fine.
And then I went for a little while, like with my parents and when I moved back to Birmingham,
oh, I know what I was going to say.
I got it now.
When I came back down here, I went to Jeff State and I was trying to get my grades up
because I was like the worst college student in the whole entire world at Cortland.
And so then my stepmom found this program through Huntington College, which is in Montgomery,
and it was at night school basically.
But I got, you know, my bachelor's degree through them.
So I started working full time and going to school at night.
Well, it's a Methodist college.
So I also had to take religion classes while I was there.
So I was taking this art and religion class and-
I hope they gave you those classes for free since they make you take them.
No, they didn't.
But tuition was significantly cheaper because we took classes at the local Jeff State campuses
and they brought professors in.
So there was, they were not Huntington staff people per se.
I mean, they were and they weren't.
But I had this art and religion class and it was a lady and it was the first time, her
very first class ever.
And we used to have class once a week for five weeks and it was from 530 to 930.
A lot of the classes didn't last, you know, that long or whatever.
But this lady was such a twat.
And she wanted us-
The religion teacher?
Yes.
She was a twat?
Yes.
She wanted us to-
Do you remember her name?
Just kidding.
Don't say it.
No, I don't.
I don't remember her name.
But she wanted us to look at paintings and then cite the Bible verse that goes with it.
And I was like, I was upset because I hadn't been going to church and not everybody grows
up that way.
I don't know shit about the Bible.
And so I was like, I'm not going to be able to do this.
And I didn't want to have to drop the class.
And I was like, I can tell you the story behind the photo, but not necessarily the word for
word passage from the Bible.
I don't know if I could tell the story behind the photo either.
Well, maybe just study it.
But which I mean, of course I could have just studied the passage as well, but I didn't
want to do that.
But everybody in the class was so stoked that I said that.
And she changed the whole structure of it.
Oh, wow.
That's really awesome.
I mean, that's awesome because you know what?
I'm glad you stood up for you and for everybody else because that's a lot.
It felt crappy, you know, to be put in that position because we had to take these damn
religion classes.
And I don't have a problem with that.
Like there was another professor and I will say his name.
His name was Dr. Brandon.
I don't know if he's still alive, but he was there graduated like in a when I graduated
in a robe and everything.
So he was Huntington staff.
He lived at Moore, Alabama, and he drove all the way to Pell City campus and gave us our
religion classes.
And I did several with him because we were in and out in like an hour, maybe an hour
and a half, and it was all just discussion based and, you know, opinions and, you know,
just having conversation about, you know, whatever.
Like I think Paul's letters is one of the classes.
So was your religion class Christianity only or was it methodist based?
Which is Christianity.
So like it wasn't like religion, like like the study of religions.
No, it was just like religion.
Correct.
Christianity.
Yes.
Gotcha.
But he was wonderful.
I read it.
It was great.
And he was the coolest dude.
So I want to change the subject really quick.
And I would like to call my dad to have him tell this joke that he told me because I have
this.
OK, and he's going to answer.
So hang on a second.
Hello.
Hi.
Hey, Brandon.
Sarah's here and Brandon is here and we need you to tell the mothball joke.
It's not a joke.
It's a true story.
Well, it is a true story, but tell it.
All right.
Well, we were together like last week, Emily and mom and I, and I was talking about, you
know, weird smells and stuff.
But I kept saying, you know, mothballs, mothballs and how they smell awful.
We kept saying we smelled mothballs in a certain place.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Exactly.
And I said, Emily, you know, have you ever smelled mothballs?
And she said, well, no, I tried, but I couldn't get their tiny legs apart.
Hey, I never said that.
You have lost it.
I did not say that.
You said that.
You're crazy.
Oh my God, you changed it on me.
That's a good one.
I love it.
That's not funny.
That's so funny.
That's a good one.
It's funny because it's true.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Thanks.
Bye.
Oh my gosh.
He changed it.
So we told him, so we were in the car and, or we were somewhere.
I was like, really smelling mothballs.
Yeah.
I was like, me and my mom were like, it smells like mothballs.
And she said it's something like gasoline.
I was like, I think it smells like mothballs.
Well, those two things do not smell the same.
And he's, I'm like, oh, you don't smell those mothballs?
He's like, I don't know how you smell those mothballs.
It's so hard to get their tiny legs apart.
And then he changed it up on me.
Oh, and by the way, I did find it.
Find what?
The jazz for pets.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
It's so good.
So you can get-
That is a thing.
He's going to make us listen to it when we fall asleep tonight.
So if you-
No.
Yeah, you will.
No.
It's really good.
We've been listening to calm stories at night.
Yeah.
And it's helpful.
I gotta say, Matthew McConaughey's-
I can't fall asleep at night.
Calm stories don't make me stay, don't make me go to sleep.
They make me stay up because then I get stuck in the story.
Not me.
And I'm like, ew, stories.
Oh, I don't know.
I just close my eyes and we're like, Matthew McConaughey's-
Yeah, but you fall asleep in 37 seconds.
Why is it 30?
I thought it was like 36.
I mean, I'll time you when we get home.
Don't worry.
Yeah, give us an update next week.
I'll time you falling asleep and then maybe don't ever record me snoring again.
Absolutely not.
I'm going to do that every day for now.
No.
All right.
So I have another topic to talk about.
All right, let's do it.
So first of all, I was out of town for a hot minute and I'm getting all these motion sensor
things in my backyard from my ring camera and it's like, there's motion in your backyard.
There's motion in your backyard.
It's like every five seconds and I'm like, well, what the hell?
I keep looking.
There's nothing there.
Finally, I realize there's a freaking spider making a web in front of my thing and it's
just crawling right in front of me.
You were going to tell me there was a ghost.
And every time I would look, he would be gone.
But then I came back and he was right there just like making a freaking spider web.
Did you save the video?
That's cool.
I think I've got one.
Isn't that interesting?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't really like spiders.
It sucks because it was like, doon doon, doon doon or whatever the thing it sounds like.
It's like, do you get rid of it?
The video?
I don't know.
I probably got a spider web.
Oh, no, I haven't even touched it because I haven't had a chance because I've been like
out of town and stuff a lot.
Well, it's like today we had a spider incident on the back porch.
It was kind of funny.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I was sitting there and I was like, I saw it and I didn't want to say anything
like, oh, look at the spider.
I just kind of sat there and went like, hey, Sarah, can you give me your flip flop real
quick?
And I was like, what is he going to do?
Try it on it.
It ain't going to fit.
Of course not.
But I was like, just give me a flip flop.
So she does.
I was like, all right, can you do me a favor and like stand up and just casually stand
right here next to me for no reason?
And she goes like, oh God, all right.
No, I did not freak out.
You even can you.
I was going to say, congratulate.
You even commented on my calmness.
You did.
You're like, all right.
So I was like, all I said was, what is it?
And I just got up and walked over there and then I saw it and he killed it and it was
fine.
So if somebody had done, if you had done that to me, I would have been like, there's like,
I would have been like frozen.
I would have been like, there's probably a massive like alien spider behind me.
Oh my gosh.
And usually when somebody's like, just calmly, casually walk this way.
Well, it's usually like a big alien.
And when, when I sat back down, I'm like, you're lucky I wasn't like my normal self
and was like, what do you want my flip flop for?
A big roach or something.
Like asking questions instead of just following directions.
Yeah.
I even said, I was like, this is one of those times you just do what I ask, please.
And stop, stop, you know, don't question me about everything.
But I didn't.
I know.
I was like, thank you.
And then got up and killed this one.
The thing was like right over her Angeline.
So it's like, I didn't want it to like fall or anything like that.
Gross.
It was big.
It was big thing.
Yeah.
I'm we're lucky it didn't have babies and they went everywhere.
It's interesting to me that you asked for her.
There are some spiders that do carry their young.
Yeah.
On their backs and then in a pack.
Oh, I've killed a spider before and had babies just squish out.
It was gross.
And they crawl everywhere.
And there's hundreds of them.
I always have to see my face right now.
Like as soon as you kill a spider, you just like see this.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's yeah.
Well, luckily we didn't have that happen.
We need to have like a, not a spoiler.
What do we call this?
A trigger alert?
Oh yeah, trigger warning.
Oh this one?
Trigger warning.
Yeah.
Trigger warning.
Spiders.
Okay.
So have you guys ever watched Bluey before?
No, but you have told me wonderful things about it.
Bluey is the best cartoon for kids that you have ever watched in your entire life.
Bluey.
Like Bluey's Clues?
No.
So it's really.
Isn't that like Australian?
It's yeah.
It's like Australian.
They're like Australian blue.
Wait, what are they called?
They're called, oh my God.
No.
Blue Wails?
No, they're called.
Dingoes.
No.
That's really funny.
I don't know if that was British or Australian.
No, you're doing a hard one.
Our pirates.
Look, I can't do the accent.
I always get them mixed up and then I ended up turning into a pirate accent like, oh my
days.
I can't do it.
Like put a patch on my eye or something.
I'm sure everybody listening to this is like, this is great.
I'm so glad we're listening to this.
Is that sarcastic?
That's what they do.
Yeah.
Why?
They better be happy they're listening to it.
We put a lot of work into this fucking content.
Brandon.
One day it's going to pay the bills.
We're basically saying they're pirates.
Oh my God.
What are they called?
They're bluey.
Oh my God.
They're like Australian.
What type of dogs are they?
Oh my God.
I'm not going to tell you because I freaking forgot.
But they're like, they're a type of dog and they're like a blue something.
Blue Healer?
Blue Healer.
Is it a blue healer?
Those are Australian Cattle Dogs aren't they?
Yeah.
Blue Healer.
Yeah.
Because I think their last name is Healer.
Maybe.
So anyways, Bluey.
So they're blue healers?
I think they're blue healers.
Okay.
So while I'm talking, you can look it up, Sarah.
I am.
I know.
So, okay.
So Bluey has the best episodes and they have things that are hilarious.
Well, they just came out with some new episodes and my dad and I really like Bluey and we
normally watch it with my niece.
Those are cute dogs.
We were at the beach the other day and my dad's like, Emily, you want to watch Bluey?
And I'm like, seriously?
Lola's not here.
And he's like, yeah, you need to watch this.
And he's like, Emily, turn it to, it's called Family Meeting.
There's an episode called Family Meeting.
Okay.
And Family Meeting is about Bluey, one of the dogs farted.
Okay.
And they call it fluffy.
And they're having a family meeting about fluffing the dad.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
The dad fluffied in Bluey's face.
And so they have a family meeting about, and yeah, and it's hilarious.
Y'all got to watch it.
Oh my God.
It's so funny.
There are so many different dog breeds that are in this show.
Afghan hound, Akita, American fox hound, Australian Cattle Dog, Australian Kelpie, Australian
Shepherd, Australian Terrier.
What's the most, what is Bluey?
Australian Cattle Dog.
Isn't that a Blue Heeler though?
Yeah.
Basically.
Yeah.
Border Collie, Bull Terrier, Cattle Hool Hound.
That's wild.
There is a Dingo.
A Dingo?
I've never seen that many dogs in there.
There's two characters.
Alfie is a Dingo and Alfie's mom.
I've never, I don't know who Alfie is.
I've probably seen him, but they don't have that many.
Like a lot of them are just the family, the four of them.
They got all kinds of stuff.
Bluey is the best.
And I don't know how y'all haven't watched it yet, but y'all need to go home and watch
it.
It's on Disney Plus.
You have Disney Plus?
You were talking about it earlier.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Cause now Disney Plus is starting to do a...
Cracking down on sharing.
Yeah.
Sharing password.
Who are you sharing password with?
My sister.
Isn't Disney Plus only like $299?
No, that's Apple TV.
$299?
I don't know.
It's a more expensive one.
I got the package deal.
So I have ESPN, Hulu, and Disney.
Oh, okay.
Well, just, I don't know what they're going to do, but.
That is annoying.
I feel you.
I mean, we've talked about it on the podcast before.
It's so fricking irritating.
I can't with that.
It's just, it's silly.
Well, but.
Stop that.
Y'all make enough money anyways.
If you were them, you would feel like, you know what?
It's fricking irritating that people are sharing their passwords and not giving us the money
that we deserve, that we need to pay our people.
So I get that.
But that's when we just cancel it and not have it.
And that's my thing is like, sorry, I can't pay for 15 streaming things.
Yeah.
I might as well go back to cable, which sucks.
Cable sucks.
I'm never going back to cable.
Me either.
I remember the time when I didn't have anything.
All I had was Netflix.
I think I didn't have Netflix at one point.
I never watched TV and all I do is watch TV and do this podcast now.
I know.
No, I canceled my cable back in 2017 and it was the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh man.
I canceled mine like way before that.
I think it was like 2012 or 10 maybe.
Well, I have cable with my, but it's built into my rent.
So I have it whether I want it or not.
Oh really?
I think I've yet to watch it.
I think the last, the only time I did was like last year's masters and that was it.
Is it basic cable or is it like the big cable with a box?
Do you have a box?
Yes.
He doesn't know because he doesn't live there.
He just has the place that he pays for for no reason.
Well, like I said, I watched the masters and that was it.
No.
Melanie and I share Hulu and we have Hulu live, but we have that so I can watch football.
Yeah.
If I watch football, it's not at my house normally.
It's usually at somebody else's house.
So I have YouTube TV.
I don't watch a whole lot of games at home either.
Like I'll go to my parents or I mean we almost every Saturday in the fall, we're all together
watching a game because a lot of us are Auburn fans and so it works out well.
Lately every time we go to your parents' house, we're watching some kind of sport, Braves
mostly lately.
Oh my God.
Well, that's because my dad is at home and he's like so freaking bored.
He got a great report from his doctor yesterday.
Is he still bored?
Yeah.
Because he can't go shovel poop?
He goes 9,000 miles an hour.
Well, that's what I told him.
He said he should be I think three weeks is when he's released and like can go back to
work.
I mean, Connie's doing it right now, but he'll be able to lift no more than 30 pounds I think
next week.
And so at that point he can at least shovel the stalls, but he won't be able to like lift
the buckets.
Well, I bet she's excited for him to at least do some of that because that's exhausting
I would bet.
Yeah.
And I definitely haven't gone out there as much as I kind of thought I would to help.
Yeah.
But it's a lot.
It's hard, especially you have to drive out there.
Yeah.
How long is it like 30 minutes or so?
No, I mean it's probably about 20 minutes, but I mean it's just.
Well, that's 40 minutes back and forth.
Yeah.
And then the time it takes to do that.
Yeah.
The last time that I, the last time we went out there, we did end up eating dinner with
them, but Connie was kind of almost done with everything.
The time before that, I literally went over there through Jolene in the house, went and
you know, cleaned the majority of the stalls and then got her and we left.
Yeah.
So, I mean, it's a lot.
Yeah.
And then you're exhausted by the time you're done with it.
Yeah.
And you need to shower directly afterwards.
Yes.
Because have you ever had to pick stalls or anything like that?
I went out there with you and watched you do it a couple of times.
Yeah.
The ammonia from the horse pee just sticks to your clothes.
No, it does.
It's disgusting.
Like you cannot wear your sneakers in there.
I was in a boot, I think, whenever I went out there with you, wasn't I?
Oh yeah.
So that's why I think you were like, get back and don't, because you were like, just stand
back over here.
Yeah.
It'll stink.
And it's true.
And whenever I'm house sitting out there, I always like have one set of clothing that's
like stall picking clothes that I'll just keep separate from everything else and wear
it every single time I go do it.
Because otherwise it just sticks to whatever you're wearing.
So like when I wake up in the morning, I'm putting on dirty clothes because I'm about
to go get dirty.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Well, sounds fun.
But you know what?
At least you get some cool animals out of it.
Yeah.
And they all have their own personalities and they're, you know, so freaking smart.
I know.
I remember you like talking to them.
You talked to them like different.
Like one of them was like old and blind or something, right?
No.
Is it blind or just old?
Nobody.
They're all old.
I mean, they're in their 20s.
Which one is the one that you were like, get back, get back.
This one's going to come out and be like, ah.
Hank probably.
Hank is the boss and he's my dad's horse.
But Hank has to have a padlock with a key on his stall because he went through like six
different types of locks and then he would let the other ones out.
Hank, I love you.
You're my type.
He's your spirit animal for sure.
He's so freaking smart.
It's unbelievable.
He's my spirit animal.
And then Breeze is one of Connie's.
He's like a red horse and he likes to stick his tongue outside of his mouth and turn his
head sideways and he's just a goober.
And then Blue is just like the sweetest of sleets.
Oh, Bluey.
Yeah.
He's a good boy.
They're sweet pies.
Yeah.
They pee a lot though.
Oh, it's so gross.
They pee big hard.
They do.
And they splash everywhere.
Well, and Breeze is such a dick when it's like time for them to go in, like you'll,
you know, fresh stall or whatever it will pee as soon as he gets in there.
He's been out all day, but he's going to pee in a stall.
Does he like to sit in his pee?
He pees in on one side of the stall.
They all have like habitual places that they pee and poop.
Except, I mean, Hank, like his is just everywhere.
Maybe he's just like, why did you change his down?
I like it the way it was.
I know Blue will pee in the middle, but then like somehow covers it up himself and he poops
in the very back of the stall.
He like takes his hooves and he's like, yeah, because it's always covered up.
It's never just like there.
Cause he does lay down, Breeze lays down.
I don't know if Hank lays down a whole lot, but.
How could you stand up all day long?
They can sleep standing up.
I know, but I could probably do that too.
I do.
Oh, not me.
I do it five days a week.
While you're working.
Yeah.
I'm just always on my feet.
Like daydream, like day sleeping.
I'm not surprised at all.
Like I come home and just go straight to bed and pass out.
I mean, he is the king of falling asleep while we're watching shows.
And sometimes he'll nod so hard that he'll hit his head off the wall in the back.
And then I have to be like, all right, we got to go to bed.
Do you know how many snaps?
Do you guys know how many snaps I get of Brandon asleep on the couch with his head back like
that?
It'll be like Brandon's asleep again.
And it's been 37 seconds since we turned on this TV show.
It makes me so mad when I'm like, here's my thing.
I need you to commit.
Okay.
If you say yes, let's watch one more episode, figure it the fuck out and make it through.
It's bullshit that you're going to sit there for 15 minutes and then fall asleep.
And then I can't finish the fucking episode because we got to watch it together.
Oh my God.
That's annoying.
Oh, Brandon did have this look on his face like, I'm really upset about this.
I will journal about this later.
Are you a journal or nerd?
He probably will stew on it though and apologize again later, which is so crazy because I'm
really not that mad.
Like it's just life.
I'm not mad about this at all.
It's like, okay, I've been up since 4 AM.
If you go off of my old Fitbit, I did 25,000 steps that day.
You know, so it's just like, I'm tired.
You and Christina should have a journaling club together.
I mean, yeah, I want to, and yes, I want to watch one more episode and I didn't make it
in, I fell asleep in 36 seconds, you know?
Yeah.
I wish that I could fall asleep that fast.
So bad.
I mean, it's insane.
Most men are like that.
Yeah, because they don't have any stress.
They're just like, I go to work and I come home and do nothing.
Well he doesn't do nothing, so I'm not going to...
I'm not going to do that, but I just feel that way because I feel like women do a lot.
Work is stressful.
... most of the time.
Work is... Well, look, if I had your job, I would come home and go straight to bed too.
I used to have to be on my feet like that many steps a day and have people that worked
underneath me that were the worst.
Well, it's like, like I said, I get up at 4 a.m.
I'm putting in a lot of steps on my feet and given my job itself, I was telling her to
say it's like, there's a lot of days where it's just sensory overload because I have
to talk to everybody.
It's mental exhaustion.
It's so much mental stress and then I have to talk to every single person in the building
and then everybody comes to me and I got to go to other... I mean, it's just ongoing.
So then when I see him, I'll just get excited about something like holler in the car or
whatever and I can just see him cringe and I'm like, I'm really sorry.
I'll stop yelling and that's when he told me today, he was like, it's just a sensory
thing.
Well, it's like, yeah, it's like you get home... How long is your drive from work though?
It's 30 minutes to the front.
Well, that's good that you kind of have like a... When you're going to work, you kind
of have this like, okay, pump yourself up to get there and then when you're coming away,
you have like a 30 minutes to decompress.
Yeah, decompress.
Well, that's when I kind of like play jazz music in the car and I try to...
So you play jazz for turtles, smooth jazz.
Yeah, I totally do that.
Santino's really good.
And it's not really good right now because the AC went out of my car right now.
So now it's hot jazz.
But...
Like hot yoga.
Yeah.
Hot jazz.
Hot jazz yoga.
So I mean, I try to decompress because I know I'm going to be coming in and she's going
to be excited to see me and Jolene's going to be jumping on me and I don't want to be
like walking in the door and be like, what?
What do you want?
This is why...
There are very few times that you come home, no matter how crazy your day was, where you
don't have a shitty ingrat on your face and I appreciate that about you.
Well, I mean, honestly, I'm excited about coming home.
You know, for a lot of reasons.
I mean, you have two girls that love you there.
And I don't mind you yelling, but I mean, it is true.
There's just sometimes where I'm just like, it's just a, it's like, okay.
Are you done?
I love you.
Woo woo.
Let's do this.
Yeah.
It's so funny because Sarah doesn't talk to anybody all day.
You talk to everybody all day and then it's like...
I don't not talk to anyone all day.
Well, you know what I mean though.
Yeah.
You don't have to go and interact.
I have nobody in my space.
Yeah.
She's at home.
Yeah.
And so when he gets home, I'm excited because I have somebody to talk to for real face to
face.
And he's like, I've already been listening to everyone else's problems.
Yes.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
I would feel the same way.
He's a good sport about my hyperness.
Uh oh, the weather radio was going off and I heard thunder.
Did y'all hear that?
I heard thunder when we were walking in here.
Yeah.
Oh really?
I heard that a minute ago.
Yeah.
It's going to be crazy.
She said like how much golf ball size hail?
One inch.
Yeah.
One inch.
And what else?
60 mile an hour winds.
Yeah.
But they always say that and down here, you can go outside and the trees up there will
be going nuts and down here there's no breeze because it's like in a hill.
We got one of it stormed the other day.
I think it was on Monday that it was or was it yesterday?
I don't know.
Maybe it was yesterday and I can see from my window at my desk or whatever just the
because we've got like skinny pine trees right out there and they'll just sway back and forth.
But like when you go outside, it doesn't feel like it.
Yeah.
It's yeah.
Mine, they go, you can hear it and it'll be crazy.
Yeah.
We have all those.
Yeah.
I was just making sure I was like, where are the trees?
We have trees, pine trees?
We do it.
We have tons of pine trees.
They look like baby ones.
They planted them, not babies, but like not ones that would like probably fall over if
they've not been there for years and years and years.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know how small they were like when if they planted them as baby babies or
if they had them like, I don't know how tall they were when they planted them when they
built that complex.
I feel like those kind of place where they kind of like dug them.
That complex is almost 20 years old.
Yeah.
So they probably planted them as like small trees and they grew.
Yeah.
That's how my, I don't have any grass out there either.
Because you don't have shade.
Yeah.
And ugly as mushrooms.
That's good to get free pine straw because it's pine trees.
Well, I also appreciate it because then there's never grass anywhere.
My old apartment, I had grass all around my front door and the weather seal, like it would
just bring grass in all the time.
Hated it.
Whenever they came to like blow off, you know, when they cut the grass or whatever, it would
come inside.
Oh really?
Oh yeah.
I hated that.
Ew.
Because I just went back and forth.
I thought you had like a little bit of patchy grass out there.
No, I had tons of grass on both sides of sidewalk.
No, we have this one little grass thing, but it looks like it's just been dug up and out
of just mud.
Yeah.
That's how my backyard is.
My grass is growing back though.
Oh nice.
Yeah.
It's real nice.
You need to plant like some winter rye grass or something.
I'm not planting anything.
I don't, I am not responsible for the grass to be growing.
The HOA should plant it.
That's how I feel about it.
Aren't you the leader of the HOA?
Not anymore, I quit.
She quit.
Oh.
I didn't, I guess I forgot to tell you, sorry.
Like two weeks ago.
It's been two weeks?
Yeah, two weeks.
Two and a half weeks now.
See, this is what happens when we don't hang out
for too much, I forget about your life.
I know, I haven't seen Brandon in like,
I forgot what you look like.
No, you didn't, though.
I know.
He got his haircut and everything, and I'm like,
oh, you got your haircut?
I can't tell because I haven't seen you in too much.
I don't know.
I know, I looked exactly the same.
I got his haircut because we're going to Mobile this weekend
for his birthday.
And guess what else?
I noticed that Sarah has her nails done,
so I don't know what that means.
Oh no, I have 60 days, so.
Oh my God.
You're savage.
Now you have to explain why because it just makes me sound
like a dick.
No, it was a, we had a conversation the other day,
and I just made the, you know, we've been talking about it.
I was like, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and put my 60 day
notice in at the place.
And she's like, and she said something,
and I was like, all right, so I guess I got 60.
Wait, 60 day notice for what?
My apartment.
Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
That I'm moving out.
And she was like, oh, so she got all excited about it
and was making jokes about it.
And I was like, yep, so I got 60 days to propose.
Yeah, good luck.
Sarah's nails are done.
So just saying, I don't know what that means.
She probably already knows.
No, I don't know anything I don't want to know.
She's going to keep her nails done for 60 days.
100%.
I would mind what it would become,
and I would have like dirt in my nails and I'd be like,
oh, look at my nails.
I would be dumb not to.
Okay.
I got fat hands.
I need something to look good.
Fat hands.
No, tell them the name of the color.
I love this name.
Oh my God.
I love this name.
Do you know what it is?
No.
Cajun shrimp.
Oh, Cajun shrimp, yeah.
You sound delicious already.
Are you going to lick her toes later?
No.
Is it the same color?
Are they on the toes?
Yes.
You will never see me having non-matching hands and fingers.
Really?
You don't ever have two different colors?
Absolutely not.
I've done that before.
You want to know who taught me that?
Who?
Lisa.
I know.
So now, okay, so I used to only want not matching.
I did not like it when they were,
like if they were the same color,
like I did not like it.
But now I'm like, why would I ever do that?
And I'm like, I mean, if you get your toes on,
they last longer than your hands.
And so that's my thing.
It's like, okay, well I'll change my color on my hands.
My nail girl was like, girl,
you don't even need your toes on.
I said, Stephanie, they have to match.
Like it's happening.
Yeah, but it's like $60.
It was way more than that.
Cause I have getting gel on both.
Yeah.
No, $60 for your toes.
Like just for gel.
Well, I don't get a pedicure.
I just get the polish change.
Oh really?
Yeah.
But it was still expensive.
Well, your feet look like they had a pedicure.
That's nice.
My feet get so nasty.
I have to scrub my feet in the shower like every day
because with a thing, because they get so-
I wear shoes all the time though.
That's true.
I don't.
And I wear like my sneakers a lot during the day.
And so I think like when your feet sweat in your socks,
it probably keeps your feet moisturized.
Yeah, my dad wears socks constantly.
And oh my gosh, if you ever-
So does Socksie.
No, my mom doesn't wear socks all the time.
My dad and my mom has feet like me,
but my dad's feet and hands are the softest
you have ever felt in your entire life.
What does he use?
That dude doesn't, it looks like he's never worked
a day in his life.
Well he doesn't use anything.
Yeah, he was.
He didn't work a day in his life.
He was a janitor at one point
and his hair was as long as mine.
So he looked like me.
I need to find a picture of him.
Yeah, I wanna see that.
Like my hair's long right now.
Like his hair-
Did he have brown hair or was it blonde?
His hair looks exactly like mine.
Oh.
Like in that picture, it's like the exact same hair.
Straight.
I just can't see him like that
because he's not brown haired anymore.
Well his hair's gray and yeah.
But yeah, so yeah.
His hair kinda got darker, more like black color,
kinda like Brandon's hair.
And then turned gray I guess.
Interesting.
Does your dad have gray hair?
My dad has the Mr. Fantastic.
If you know comic books or anything like that,
you know who Mr. Fantastic is.
But my dad has the Mr. Fantastic graying
which if you look at it, I also have it too.
I'm starting to gray a lot on the sides of my head.
But my dad's, I mean last time I saw a picture
of him he still has like dark brown hair.
He's got, it's basically more salt and pepper now
but that's about it.
But I mean he still has like the gray patch on the side.
It was both sides of his hair.
Turn to the side.
I don't see the, I only see a little bit of gray
in your beard.
My hair's so short so you don't see it.
Well I think that I have made Brandon gray
since we started dating because-
Probably.
I don't know, his beard is not as gray.
Probably.
That's working.
You've made me gray too.
Let me see, let me see.
Stop saying that you're graying my hair.
Stop stressing him out so much.
Oh my God, tonight he accidentally dropped a fork
and Sarah's like, do you have a problem?
And a poor guy is like, what?
I didn't mean to drop the fork on the plate.
No, I just turned around like now do you?
It did make a loud noise.
It did, it did.
It made a loud noise but like he didn't mean to.
So yeah, so what are you all gonna do this weekend?
We're going to Mobile.
Good job.
Thanks.
We have a brunch reservation on Sunday
but as long as the weather is nice then on Saturday
we're gonna go out on Thomas's boat and-
Thomas's, Sarah's sister's boyfriend.
Yes and we're bringing Joe-
We're supposed to do something Friday now.
Friday is Art Walk downtown
and so I think we're gonna hit up a happy hour
and then go walk around Dauphin
and some of the parks down there
because they have vendors and stuff like that
and so they call it Art Walk
and they close off the street
and you can carry your cocktails with you
and it's really nice.
That'll be fun, yay.
It's gonna be hot as fire but whatever.
But we're bringing Jolene, we got a dog friendly Airbnb
so Joe Bean's coming too.
Oh yay, that's exciting.
Hopefully it'll be a nice one
because I took my dogs to a dog friendly hotel this one time
and it was really bad.
And it was all dogs on the same floor
and all the dogs were barking all night.
Jerry and Thomas know where it is.
It's on not the same exact street
but it's like two tenths of a mile from their house
so it's walking distance, it'll be nice.
Cool. Yeah.
Are you gonna walk though?
Yeah.
Oh.
I mean it's street parking wide on, yeah
and Jolene needs a walk so yeah, we'll walk.
Oh sweet.
Look at those, the holes in your curtains from Bird.
Those actually may not be from him.
Oh really?
But those probably are, those probably not.
Yeah, that's bad.
But look, they were cheapo curtains
and I rigged that up myself.
Like that, these were vertical blinds
that were like wood panel colored.
This is why I keep talking about
they need a YouTube channel.
Who's?
You guys.
Why, because I like rigged.
Because you guys are pointing at stuff
and no one's gonna be able to see this.
I have these curtains in my office in our studio area
and they used to be vertical blinds
that were wood panel that came with the place
and I was like ew.
So I took the wood panels down
and I got little hooks and I hooked my curtains
to the little slidey things instead
so I could have those so they slide across
and then that thing up there was a wood panel thing
and I took foam and I covered it with fabric
and then I glued it, it took forever.
It's like really hanging down now.
That's good though.
Yeah, it needs to be fixed.
The curtains need to be pushed up
but birdie gets up there.
It's completely fine.
But yeah, it looks way better than that wood panel ugly
like whatever the hell.
And they like, honestly they would have been ruined
from the cat trying to get up there anyway.
Well how long did it take you to paint that?
It took me forever.
It took me so long.
So we have this white canvas hanging behind us
and it just is a white canvas that I bought from Ross.
It's like a four and a half feet, how many feet?
It's a serious canvas.
It's a really big canvas and it was on like 75% off
and this was like two years ago when I first moved in here
and it wouldn't fit in my car and I got two of them.
I got the one that was upstairs, that one's smaller
and the one that I painted on it.
That is so cool.
It is, I know she painted that.
Do you like it for real?
I know, I know.
I thought you were just messing with me.
No, I love it.
I generally like, every time I see that thing,
I'm like that is so cool and you just made it.
I did it when I had COVID.
I was sick and I couldn't go anywhere
so I went out here in the backyard and painted it.
So you need to paint this one.
I know, so this one.
You need to paint our logo on there.
Was in my office and it's been like sitting up
against the wall, kind of like that piece of glass
right there that I need to move
and I was like trying to set up our stuff
and I'm like, I haven't painted this yet
and Birdie kept like messing with it and getting behind it
and like messing up the plastic that was covering it up.
So I was like, you know what?
I'm just gonna hang it on the wall to get it out of the way
because it won't be on the floor and it's just been there
and honestly, I don't hate it.
No.
I mean, I kinda like that it's-
Almost like a conversation piece
because people are like, did she paint it?
Is it blank?
Like, what is it?
It's on purpose, it's art.
You got like a couple of doodads right here.
That's from the camp.
From Birdie.
Well, that's where you go, that's my art.
That's my art.
Yeah, and there's like little scratch marks over here.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a couple of things.
That's my Birdie art.
It's, if anybody, and I have a Zoom
so like my desk is right over here and it's facing this.
And so people can see all this over here
and I'm sure people are like, what the heck is that?
They probably think it's one of those like sound barrier,
like those like sound things.
And it actually does work as that, technically.
So that's good.
I mean, I don't think we sound echoey in here ever.
No, no, I've never sound, hell.
But I don't know if it's necessarily this.
We can think that it is and that's okay.
It might be.
And I might paint it one day
when I don't have anything to do
but I always have something to do.
Or TV to watch.
That's true.
Or I've got something to do and then I don't like,
I'm so tired after I get done doing it the next day.
I'm like, I just want to chill out all day.
Painting something is definitely something
that you have to like be mentally like prepped for
and be in like a creative space
and also put time and effort into.
Especially when these cost like $300.
Like they're, I mean, I got this for like maybe 60
or something like that.
So.
So COVID part two, let's go.
Yeah, exactly.
Next time I don't.
Do you want me to cough on you?
No, do you have COVID?
No.
Have you heard of anybody getting COVID recently though?
Like that's. Not in America.
I haven't, like nobody gets it anymore.
The last time something happened at my work
about people getting sick, it was the flu.
And it literally just went from one.
Yeah, there was a bad flu that went around last month.
I haven't heard of anybody getting a flu either.
It went from one department
and it literally just went from,
it went just hot all the way through the department.
That's when I got sick.
I never got the flu shot this year.
February. February.
Cause it was Santana and Aaron's engagement party thing.
I got real sick that weekend.
Wait, did I get the flu shot this year?
I didn't.
Cause they told, I thought I had,
cause I usually have to get. I've never gotten it.
Oh really?
You're like my mom. I usually get it.
Well, and it's so crazy because my mom has to get it also.
And she acted like we always used to get flu shots
growing up.
I'm like, mom, no, we didn't.
We've never had one.
Neither Jerry nor I get it.
Like ever.
The flu shot? No.
My mom's never had one either.
And she doesn't, actually,
I think she may have gotten one the year
that my nephew was born potentially
because they made her and she's like pissed about it.
Interesting.
I usually get it through my work.
They financially encourage it.
Well, so my job, like, cause I work in healthcare,
you usually have to get it.
But now that I work from home, this year, I believe,
cause I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
this year, I believe, cause I was like, oh my God,
I had like two days to go get it done
because I forgot about it.
And my boss was like, hey, I was like,
I'm gonna go today at my lunch break and get my flu shot
and I'll send you my thing by the way or whatever.
And he's like, oh, don't worry about it.
I just found out you don't have to have it
because they've changed the policy or whatever.
And you work like completely from home
and you don't come in.
So I don't have to have it.
And so I never, I didn't get it this year,
but I also haven't gotten the flu
and I don't ever go anywhere.
So well, you know, I, and I used to get sick
just about like every fall and every summer, at least once.
Me too.
And, but I think when I quit smoking, it's helped.
Did you quit smoking though?
Yes.
You have a pod.
That is not the same.
No, it's a vape.
That's the same.
Why couldn't you just leave it as I quit smoking?
Oh, because you didn't, you still vape.
I'm not smoking, I'm vaping.
That's the same thing.
It's not.
Okay, she is in denial.
Yes.
P-break?
Oh my God, hold on a second.
I forgot about your hand.
Are we bringing this back up again?
Yes.
Did we talk about this last time?
His hand looks like Jerry Garcia.
Did you cut your finger off?
And you brought up Jerry Garcia the last time.
No, I put my hand in a tube bender at work
and it snapped it off.
Wait, so hold on.
Well, it smushed it off.
Let me see, let me see, let me do it again.
Okay, but go like this.
I wanna see, you don't have a fingernail, do you?
No.
He lost that last knuckle.
No, so you know what I call him sometimes?
4.5.
Yeah, she does.
Four and a half?
Which is not right,
because it's more like two and four or two thirds.
You're just not all there, Brandon.
You're just not all there.
I'm not.
Okay?
A little piece of me died.
Hopefully you have all your other limbs, okay.
Yeah, he does.
For Brandon, I mean for Sarah's sake.
And all the toes too.
Oh, all the toes?
Yeah.
Do you have weird toes though?
Let me see your toes.
No, I need to trim my toenails back up.
You need to trim your toenails back up?
I wasn't over there.
That's what you guys were talking about
and I was like, I need to trim my toenails.
And that's it.
What size shoes do you wear?
13s.
What size shoes do you wear?
Nine and a half, but I'm short.
And I wear a nine and a half.
I should wear like a size seven,
but I think that, did we talk about this before?
I'm pretty sure that I'm supposed to be tall,
but I got, my growth got stunted by coffee
when I was little.
That's not true, cause I used to drink coffee.
I don't know.
Well, Jerry went to a store,
a shoe store the other day,
like a sneaker store or whatever,
and got her feet measured.
And one of her feet is smaller than the other one.
I think everybody's is kind of,
how much smaller though?
Aggressively smaller.
And I told her, I was like,
well, at least you don't got boats.
I could go skiing with my feet.
Let me see what you got, like a 10.
Yeah.
Yeah, but yours aren't that much bigger than mine.
My mom's, I feel like a 10 though,
when I put a 10, they look,
they feel like so much bigger.
All right, go on for a go pee.
Okay, go pee.
Okay, so you guys can check us out on Instagram,
Thick AF Podcast.
Send us an email at thickafpodcast.com.
If you have any questions, thoughts,
anything like that, give us a like,
follow, subscribe, all that stuff.
Thanks, see you next time.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I have to go.
I don't know why it's so good.