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Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing okay and you had the best week that you can possibly have.

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To be fair this week there's a few bits and pieces I'm going to talk about but I've got to start in only one place.

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And that is the mighty West Ham United.

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I'm 40 years old this year and I've never seen West Ham win a European trophy.

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Well this week it finally happened. West Ham have won a European trophy.

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And honestly it was the most incredible experience sitting there with me dad watching that game on telly.

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Absolutely superb. It was an awful performance, we played terrible but we managed to get over the line.

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As I say 40 this year, 40 in a couple of months, not even a couple of months, a few weeks.

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And I've never seen it, never witnessed West Ham win a major trophy.

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It's happened, I've witnessed it finally.

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And yeah, it was just the experience, absolutely unreal, absolutely unreal.

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Following day watching the trophy parade, again absolutely fantastic.

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And yeah I know there's not going to be many more of those experiences to come but I'll take it.

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And I'll take it with a smile on my face because it was unreal, absolutely unreal.

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I can't say that enough, I'm going to be honest.

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But yeah I had to start with that, it would have been rude not to because let's be completely honest with each other.

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West Ham are massive, everywhere they go.

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It's true, West Ham are massive.

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Not here, not there, everywhere they go.

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Anyway, that's enough, that's enough of the football talk.

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Well, today has something really, really different.

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Today's Sunday, Saturday recording Sunday.

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We went and did a car boot sale today.

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Never been to one, certainly never gone and sold at one.

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And it was only a little one, you know it wasn't massive, nothing like that.

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But actually it was really quite good fun.

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I'm not a salesman, not by any stretch of the imagination.

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Lisa was the one for that.

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But yeah just going along, I mean it was gorgeous weather.

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Absolutely stunning out there today.

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A little bit too warm but we complain when it's cold.

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Not going to complain when it's warm.

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I just can't, I can't bring myself to do it.

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Loved every minute of it to be honest with you.

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It was a real lesson to learn.

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And I have to say, the people, you know it was only a very, very small car boot.

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But the people that came along, very, very polite, nice people.

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Yeah I can't compliment it enough.

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It was good fun, it was enjoyable, really did like it.

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So thanks very much to the organisers, you know who you are.

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And yeah everyone that came along, it wasn't many people but it was enough.

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So yeah again, enjoyed it.

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Over the last couple of days I've managed to get out in the garden.

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And yeah it might have happened.

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There was a trip to the garden centre and during that trip to the garden centre,

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bad thing might have happened.

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A couple of plants might have accidentally jumped into hands and made their way to the till.

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And they ended up in my garden.

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I make no apologies for it.

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They look pretty, they look nice.

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I've gotten planted and let's be honest with you.

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One of my favourite things to do, and I've been through this time and time again,

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one of my favourite things to do is gardening.

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And that's such a new thing.

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It's only really been in the last year maybe that I've got into gardening.

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But do you know what, it helps so much it's unreal.

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And this is where I'm going to sort of switch back to the MS side of things.

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Because what I've got to say is actually over the last three, maybe four days,

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yeah things haven't been particularly good.

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I've been doing the best I can to try and hide things away.

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But yeah I think I've been overdoing things quite a lot.

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And the type of overdoing isn't going to change because it's just me being me.

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And as I've said many, many times, the one thing I've got to continue to do is be me.

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I've said it before, other people have said it no end of times.

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I've got MS, MS has not got me.

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And do you know what, it never will have.

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It will have its day and it will give me a kick in from time to time.

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I understand that.

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But actually I'm going to continue fighting, I'm going to continue going,

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I'm going to continue pushing and I'm going to continue being me.

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Because without being me what else have I got?

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You know, I want to be the person that I've always been.

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Now that does involve me being a bit silly at times,

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that does involve me making jokes and having a laugh and all the rest of it.

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That's going to continue.

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Now what, with regards to the gardening and the other bits and pieces I've done over the last few days,

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one of the things I've noticed, and I've not noticed till afterwards,

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I've actually been dropping off to sleep completely randomly.

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Now I can go out, put a plant in, not a problem, put a second plant in,

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starting to ache a little bit, starting to hurt.

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I'll go and sit down indoors and honestly I will be asleep before I realise it.

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And again, I mean it's the sort of thing that's happened a little bit over the last few months now and then,

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but actually over the last few days it's been happening quite a bit more.

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And yeah, I mean clearly I know myself, I am really fatigued at the moment

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and I'm not just talking a little bit sleepy and a little bit tired.

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I am absolutely cream-crackered, I really am.

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I'm out on my feet a lot and yes I'm pushing, I'm pushing too hard, I'm pushing far too much,

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but I come back to the fact I've still got to be me.

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And that's the biggest thing, I've still got to be me.

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And that me, yeah, I'm going to continue doing this stuff, I just have to, I just have to.

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But it's also causing lots and lots of different pains.

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And I'm not talking the sort of pains that are just a little bit ouch,

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I'm talking pains that are genuinely quite concerning me, I'm going to be honest,

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they're ones I've never felt before.

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And I think I've mentioned on the last podcast or the one previous about a pain in my face.

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Well, the last couple of days I've been getting them in my back, in my legs,

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and when I'm saying my back I literally mean all over my back,

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not just my spine, literally everywhere.

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And it feels like somebody has got a red hot knife

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and they're just sticking that knife in and pulling it straight out again.

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It's painful, incredibly uncomfortable and a little bit scary, I'm going to be honest,

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it is a little bit scary.

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But again, I'm just continuing to push through,

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continuing to find a way to carry on as best I can,

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because again, that's the kind of person I am, that's the kind of person I want to be,

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it's the kind of person I've always been.

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So with regards to that, it's very much a case for me of continuing to do what I'm doing,

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continuing to enjoy stuff, continuing to push, find my limits,

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and this is where I've got to learn, and I've said this before, I know full well I've said it before,

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I've got to learn to not get to that limit, come away, take a rest, sit down, relax, chill,

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and just let my body recover a little bit,

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because yeah, these last couple of days, it really hasn't been comfortable at all, bear with me,

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I'm just going to have a sip of me water.

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I've got to keep hydrated because I'm sat in the studio shed, it's just a shed,

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it's not a studio, it's studio shed, it's just a shed,

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and it is absolutely melting in here, it really is, it's like I'm sat in a sauna,

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it's not an ounce of cool, it is just red hot.

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I was even debating whether to actually bother coming to sit and record because it's that hot,

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but you know, again, just going to push through because that's what I've got to do.

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But yeah, I mean, the other bits and pieces that I'm doing as well, you know, there's other things,

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like I say, the biggest thing for me is gardening, we've still got bits of decorating to do,

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so that's got to be done, and again, it's just finding that balance between doing all of that.

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I'm trying to get out of the house when I can, when the weather's nice, jump on the scooter,

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whether that's just going to meet Lisa from work or whether that's nipping down into town,

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to go and get a few bits up to the local shop if necessary,

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because again, for me, for me to keep my brain ticking over the way it should, the way I want it to,

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actually, I need to do that stuff, I need to get out, I need a bit of fresh air, I need a bit of sun on my skin,

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because it's the sort of thing that makes me happy.

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It really does, it makes me smile, it makes me happy, it makes me feel more confident,

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it makes me feel like I am still the person I want to be.

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Now again, coming back to the sort of issues that I'm having,

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I'm noticing in terms of the mobility and the walking and whatever else,

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certainly on the right-hand side, I mean, it is just getting to the point actually at times where me walking is quite dangerous,

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because I'm at a point where that foot is dragging so much,

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and I'm having to try and overcompensate on the left side,

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that even the left side is starting to hurt and ache, and I mean, I'm talking just a few feet,

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I mean, I can just, a little bit of walking around the garden, like a teddy bear, one step, two step,

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I know I'm not doing tickly under there, not a chance, no way, don't care how many times you ask, it's not happening,

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but yeah, just a little bit of walking around the garden,

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and the ache, the pain, the tiredness, the tightness in my legs, all of that is absolutely awful.

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Now on a scale of 1 to 10, at times I'm actually going to put that pain right up towards the top end of that,

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because it's actually making me, it's forcing me to change how I'm moving,

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it's forcing me to change everything about my mobility,

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which as we know, it's this week, this week coming,

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I'm going to have this next assessment from a fez machine,

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and all things going as expected, I will leave that hospital with a fez machine,

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and again, the level of excitement I've got going on is unbelievable, I'm going to be honest,

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and this is the reason why, because when I am walking, when I am moving around,

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and again, I will admit every single day that for me I am not good when it comes to use my crutches,

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out of the house, yes absolutely, but around the house, in the garden, that sort of stuff,

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I just don't do it unless I really, really have to,

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and that is causing issues, that is causing a problem because of that foot drop,

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now that foot drop is, currently, only currently, if I could get rid of just one symptom from MS,

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it would be that foot drop, don't get me wrong, I would get rid of a whole lot in an absolute heartbeat,

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I did well there, I checked myself because I was about to swear,

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but yeah, I promise you I would get rid of a whole lot in a heartbeat, just like any of us would,

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but for me if there was one thing that could go right now it's that foot drop,

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because again, that has changed, that alone has changed everything about me and the way I am,

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yeah, the numbness in the legs, the numbness in the feet, all of that sort of stuff,

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I hate it with a passion, the MS hug that I've got every single day, and I do mean every single day,

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the last couple of days actually has been particularly bad to the point,

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I'm actually sort of having to breathe a little bit deeper,

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again, that's just one of those things that I'm getting used to,

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but in all fairness, it is that foot drop, it is that foot drop,

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because if I could get back to walking, how I walk and not be scared of falling over,

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I would take that, I really would take that,

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again, that's just my assessment on myself personally,

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I know everyone else is going to have something different and again that's perfectly fine,

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I say it once, I say it twice, I say it a million times,

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everyone with MS is so different it's unreal,

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and it doesn't matter how close our symptoms are,

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everyone handles those symptoms totally differently,

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and again that is nothing but acceptable because we're all different people,

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every single one of us is different, nobody goes through the same, but we go through similar,

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and that's actually where we can come together, we can talk,

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we can try and give that bit of advice to each other on,

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oh well I've tried this or I've tried that, this has helped for me,

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I believe I've said it on a previous podcast and I will say it again,

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on Facebook, I'm not going to name check,

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but there was an influencer on Facebook, MS influencer,

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and the advice was given to me about when it comes to bedtime,

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and I'm getting pains and whatever else aches in my legs,

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to use Vicks Vaporub on that area to try and calm the pain a little bit,

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and it's worked for me, it has actually worked for me,

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when I've got pains they are not quite as bad when I rub that Vicks Vaporub in,

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and it gives me enough ability to close my eyes and go to sleep,

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so again we're coming back to the fact that everyone's different,

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but some of the advice that you can give will actually help others,

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now the biggest piece of advice I can give to anyone,

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and again this is only advice that I can offer because it's helped me,

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try as hard as you can to continue to be yourself,

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and that is not easy, some days there is no chance that you're going to be able to do that,

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but actually when the bad days are there,

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and believe me they are there quite regularly,

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it's a little bit like the weather,

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when those horrible clouds, dark clouds come over,

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you actually do know that at some point, one day,

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those dark clouds are going to go away,

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and there's going to be blue sky, there's going to be sunshine,

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there's going to be warmth,

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so try not, if you can help it, and again I know it's easier said than done,

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if you can try and fight those bad days,

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and look forward to the better days, the nicer days,

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okay there might not be as many nicer days,

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but as long as there's one or two every now and then,

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that's worth looking forward to, it really is,

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now again for me that's my advice, just try and be you,

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try and keep smiling, and again I use these sort of hashtags on social media,

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keep smiling, keep laughing, and keep fighting,

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because if you can find something to smile at,

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if you can find something to laugh at,

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that's going to give you, in my opinion,

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that's going to give you the ability to fight that little bit harder,

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to try and push to those good days,

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just my advice, just my opinion,

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again I'm no doctor, quite the opposite,

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I am just some total random fella sitting in his shed,

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talking about his journey with an absolutely evil medical condition,

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and let's be fair, all I can talk about is the way I deal with and fight this condition,

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and at times I think I've kind of come away from that a little bit,

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which I need to get back to, I need to get back to just being me,

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and just talking about my sort of stuff,

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like the start of this podcast talking about West Ham,

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because we're massive everywhere we go,

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it's true, come on, yes it's true, we are massive,

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just give me that, come on, we've won a tournament, please,

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alright then, but yeah, I mean that sort of stuff,

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that's me, that's who I am, I love football,

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I can't help that, I absolutely love football,

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and through the thick and thin I love West Ham,

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I love gardening, I love playing guitar,

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I'm not very good at that,

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I'm enjoying making this content,

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I really do enjoy it,

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I enjoy making the content on all the different social medias,

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I enjoy sitting and playing Xbox,

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I enjoy having a laugh with the kids,

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I absolutely enjoy having a laugh with family,

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and yeah, that's the whole point, I just enjoy being me,

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so I'm going to say something that I've said time and time and time again,

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F you, F you MS, F you,

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because the life is mine, and I am going to be me,

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and to each and every person out there,

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whether you are somebody with MS,

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whether you're somebody that supports somebody with MS,

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whether you're somebody with another medical condition,

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or supporting somebody else with another condition,

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you've got this, you've got this, absolutely you have,

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I believe in you, and I'm pretty confident when you look in the mirror you can believe in yourself as well,

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well, I think that's going to do for today,

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what I am going to say is, as I've mentioned,

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later in the week I have got this appointment about the Fes machine,

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so all things being well, I will post up on my social medias about what happens at that appointment,

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so I'm going to talk about that on there,

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I will also naturally talk about it on the next podcast,

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I am doing the best I can now to get all podcasts released on midnight Monday, Greenwich Mean Time,

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so that's what I'm aiming for, don't get me wrong if things fly about and everything's a bit busy,

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it might be a bit late, but it will be on the Monday,

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well, thank you for listening,

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I've quite enjoyed this one, I hope you have,

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and I really look forward to speaking to you in a week's time,

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speak soon, bye bye.