1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,100 Hello again, I hope everyone's had a decent week. I know mine's been pretty reasonable 2 00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:15,980 as far as things go, I've got to admit. I'm going to just sort of jump straight in today, 3 00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:22,720 because why not? I'm going to talk about today, some of this has happened to me, I've had 4 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:29,640 a phone call this week, and it's one that's massively excited me, I'm going to be honest, 5 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:41,720 I do mean massively excited me. And I've mentioned previously about how I had tested a fez machine 6 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:52,320 at the local hospital, my physio had sorted it out for someone to come down and test it, 7 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:58,520 because again, I've said it a million times, I suffer really, really badly with foot drop 8 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:04,560 on my right side, my foot drags across the floor and there's nothing I can do about it 9 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:09,520 to be honest with you, I wear through slippers and yes I wear slippers, I wear through slippers 10 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:24,640 and trainers. So I had a phone call this week, and the opportunity has arisen for me to have 11 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:30,920 a bit of an assessment, I've got to travel a bit of a way for this, but I've got an assessment 12 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:36,640 coming up, and I don't know the right way to put this actually, I'm going to say if 13 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:44,200 everything goes right, but actually we'll just say if everything goes as expected, at 14 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:52,760 the end of that assessment I will be walking away with a fez machine, for those that aren't 15 00:01:52,760 --> 00:02:01,480 quite up in a fay with what a fez machine is, it is functional electrical stimulation, 16 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:05,080 yes I've got that written down in front of me because I was afraid I was going to forget 17 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:15,960 it, but basically the way the machine works is there's a little box, the box to be honest 18 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:22,880 with you it's not much bigger than a cigarette packet, and all the electrical side of it 19 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:30,040 comes from that box, you've got wires that come down, they come down your leg and go 20 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:34,520 into a little receiver, which when I tried it and I'm assuming it's going to be the 21 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:42,760 same thing, the receiver was actually in heel of my trainer, you can move that so you're 22 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:48,520 not stuck with one pair of trainers forever, but the receiver is there and what happens 23 00:02:48,520 --> 00:03:00,360 is as you're walking, as your heel leaves the floor, the pressure comes off of the receiver 24 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:11,560 and it sends an electrical charge up the wires and into these again little patches that are 25 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:17,840 on the muscles, certain muscles of your legs and it will send the signal to there and the 26 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:25,560 way it felt to me when I did it, it was a little bit like a drill but not quite as violent, 27 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:34,120 but yeah it just felt like I was being drilled, very gently drilled on the muscles and when 28 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:40,160 I was trying it, I've got to say and I know I did say this in a previous podcast, I was 29 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:47,760 walking with no foot drop, now I've not done that in, I'm going to be honest with you, 30 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:54,880 I can't actually put a time frame on it, it's many many many many months and I did get a 31 00:03:54,880 --> 00:04:03,960 bit overwhelmed with it when I tried it, I did shed a tear because again it was a case 32 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:12,280 of I was doing something that I thought I would never do again and that's walking semi 33 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:18,240 properly, now don't get me wrong, the one thing I've got to say for the Fez machines, 34 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:24,480 although they will help with the foot drop, that's what they're there for, what they 35 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:31,400 can't do is give back the length of time you can walk and everything else, that's a different 36 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:41,080 story entirely, that can't be given back, if you're suffering in that manner, I am, 37 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:50,880 I do, but what it's doing is hopefully making it less of a chance for you to fall because 38 00:04:50,880 --> 00:05:00,360 for me, when I'm walking I'm having to adjust how I walk so that my toes on my right foot 39 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:08,520 dragging across the floor doesn't cause a fall because actually it's pretty dangerous, 40 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:14,560 let's be honest, it's actually really quite dangerous that that can happen because if 41 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:21,800 you're walking and your toes are dragging, it's only got a clip on something, now my 42 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:26,120 local shop, I go up to the local shop quite regularly, I enjoy getting out on my scooter, 43 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:32,600 I'll nip up for a loaf of bread, some sweets, mainly a loaf of bread or whatever else, but 44 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:40,960 as I'm coming out there's a mat on the floor, should it be raining and more than once my 45 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:48,960 toes have caught the edge of that mat and I've very nearly gone over, now that's what 46 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:55,320 scares me a little bit with the foot drop because again, I've said it and I'll say 47 00:05:55,320 --> 00:06:01,000 it again and I'm very honest, I don't always use my sticks when I'm indoors, when I'm out 48 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,240 of the house and I've got nothing to hang onto, my sticks are there with me all the 49 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:14,120 time and they're always going to be, I'm not that silly much, honest, okay you don't have 50 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:24,880 to blame me but it's fine, but when I'm indoors and I'm walking, I've got walls to hang onto, 51 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:34,520 so I don't use my sticks in the house unless it's absolutely urgent and again that's on 52 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:40,960 me because I should, I know I should, the foot drop is massively at the point and has 53 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:48,080 been for many months where I should be using them sticks indoors but what I'm hoping now 54 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:53,760 and let's be totally honest, I can't use the fez machine all the time, I can't get 55 00:06:53,760 --> 00:07:00,600 completely reliant on it, so when I'm around the house I probably won't use it that much 56 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:05,520 but when I'm out of the house, that and my sticks are going to become my best friends 57 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:14,720 but as I say, what I can't say and what isn't going to happen is it's not going to mean 58 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:21,040 I'm going to be walking five miles, that just ain't going to happen, walking more than 500 59 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:28,240 metres is, if we say difficult I would probably be doing it a bit of a favour because it's 60 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:34,000 more than difficult, my legs get incredibly achy and all that sort of stuff, it's not 61 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:39,440 nice, I don't like it and I do struggle with it and at times, I'll be honest, at times 62 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:47,920 it makes me feel quite useless, I've got to say that, you know I'm walking around and 63 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:54,320 I'm having to fight myself to say keep going, keep going, don't give in, don't stop, just 64 00:07:54,320 --> 00:08:01,760 keep going but actually internally I'm thinking to myself, yeah I'm in so much pain right 65 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:09,200 now it's unreal but I'm going to keep fighting that because I want my body to know that yeah 66 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:13,560 okay it's going to do what it needs to do and all that sort of stuff but at the same 67 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:20,800 time I'm going to do what I need to do, yeah okay me and my body, we're fighting on a daily 68 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:28,160 basis, we're scrapping, some days I win, some days I lose, it is what it is, it's a fight 69 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:35,960 worth having but yeah I mean that's where I am with that, that fez machine to say I'm 70 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:45,600 excited about it is a massive, massive understatement, the thought of not having that constant worry 71 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:54,760 when I'm out of foot dragging and hopefully not going through any more pairs of trainers, 72 00:08:54,760 --> 00:09:00,800 I know there's only one so far but I've just started wearing a brand new pair of trainers 73 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:07,360 which is exactly the same as the old ones, I can already feel and I've only been wearing 74 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:12,680 them probably about a week, I can already feel at the end they're starting to sort of 75 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:19,520 give out a little bit, they weren't cheap, I don't want to damage them, I really don't 76 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:27,840 so roll on these next couple of weeks and let's get this sorted but I will say just 77 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:37,520 to add on to that, once the first appointment is done with regards to the machine itself 78 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,920 I then have another appointment two weeks later just to see how I'm getting on with 79 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:47,920 it, I mean to be fair I'll probably be cuddling it but you know nobody needs to know that, 80 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:56,360 it's fine don't worry, don't worry but going on to other things, just to sort of give an 81 00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:05,600 update on how I am and all that sort of stuff, the little bits and pieces have been causing 82 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:14,600 me real real issues lately I've got to say that but again it's nothing new, it's old 83 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:23,440 stuff that just seems to be slightly starting to creep its way up a little bit, the one 84 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:28,960 thing I haven't had for probably about a week or two now is the water drop feeling on the 85 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:34,600 top of my head which is nice because it is strange sitting indoors and feeling like water 86 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:43,600 is dripping on my head, look up there's no water, so that's nice, that's kind of had 87 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:53,240 a bit of a stop for a little while but things like fatigue, I've got to say at the moment 88 00:10:53,240 --> 00:11:01,960 fatigue is knocking me for six, it is absolutely beating me up, I can do very very minimal 89 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:10,560 amount of stuff and yeah I just go to sleep, simple as that, I'll be sat on the sofa and 90 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:19,760 Lisa's chatting away to me, boom I'm out, absolutely out like a light and it's not even 91 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:28,120 a case of I feel like I'm going to drop off it just happens but it mainly is after I've 92 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:35,760 over exerted myself that that happens so again something I've kind of got to get used to, 93 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,540 fully understand that, fully respect that, I've got to get used to my own boundaries 94 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:44,440 as to what I can, what I can't do, what I can get away with, what I can't get away with, 95 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:48,680 whatever else because let's be fair I'm not going to class myself as being really new 96 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:56,760 to this anymore, as I say it was last February that I was told to expect the diagnosis and 97 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:06,200 it was sort of back in the last summer that I was properly diagnosed so although I'm still 98 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:17,840 kind of relatively, relatively new, I'm not new new, I know what to expect to an extent, 99 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:23,680 I've kind of got used to how to handle certain bits and pieces and whatever else and again 100 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:30,400 to a certain extent I'm sort of starting to listen to my body at times, I'm starting to 101 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:37,640 understand what I can and can't do, what I can push through, what I can't push through 102 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:48,520 and you know it's kind of in a way, in a very weird way, it's actually kind of eye opening 103 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:58,760 and satisfying for me to kind of figure out at times what I can and can't get away with 104 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:05,200 doing because there's days where I think actually I've got nothing about me today, I'm not about 105 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:12,160 to do anything, all of a sudden I'll get up and I'll do something really little and I 106 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:19,160 feel like I've achieved something because although at waking up I'm thinking yeah I've 107 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:25,880 got nothing about me today, I can't do anything, just accept it, just sit and do nothing, if 108 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:33,160 I get something really small done, do you know what, that for me is a win, a massive 109 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:40,080 win and when I'm having a good day, well do you know what, I'm going to smash the bones 110 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:46,680 out of everything I possibly can because yeah I'm going to suffer for it, get that, but 111 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:55,200 at the same time it's very much a case of while I can do it I'm going to do it. Now 112 00:13:55,200 --> 00:14:02,920 again the weather at the moment is really nice, really really nice so I'm going to start 113 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:08,680 doing a lot more of the one thing that I really did fall in love with doing and that's gardening, 114 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:15,880 yes I'm a fair way of a gardener I know it's fine but I enjoy it, I can't help it, I really 115 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:23,200 do enjoy it, planting whatever and just seeing it grow and then seeing the flowers that come 116 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:31,400 off it, there's actually nothing better, there's genuinely, genuinely nothing better, so that's 117 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:39,840 where I'm going to go with that. But again coming away from the fatigue type aspect, 118 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:50,320 pain at the minute is a real real issue and I've got to be honest it is a real issue, 119 00:14:50,320 --> 00:15:02,600 it's more so my legs, they just hurt all the time and more the right leg, it is more the 120 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:11,880 right leg but the left one as well, not quite as bad but it's there and it's at times it's 121 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:21,280 enough to make me actually feel a bit concerned. I actually had a pain the other day, I can't 122 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:28,640 remember what I was doing, I was doing something and I had a pain on the left side of my face 123 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:35,520 and it actually felt like somebody had got a cattle prod and stuck it on my face, it 124 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,240 actually made me yelp, I'll be honest with you, Lisa was in the room, she actually heard 125 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:45,680 me yelp and I was thinking to myself that's a bit strange, I've had it before but it's 126 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:50,760 been so mild and whatever I'm thinking, yes probably some of it and nothing but this one 127 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:58,520 actually was pretty awful, I've got to say it was on a scale of 1 to 10 for the sake 128 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:05,040 of just a couple of seconds I probably would have scored that one little pain up and around 129 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:14,800 an 8.5 to a 9 which is a bit odd because I will say that like I've just said, I've had 130 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:21,800 little ones before, nothing like that, nothing like that at all but again I was over exerting, 131 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:32,280 I can remember what I was doing now, we've been decorating kids bedroom and yeah that's 132 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:38,920 kind of what I was doing at the time, I was doing some prep work and boom that little 133 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:46,240 zuz I'm going to call it, that little zuz of electricity right on my face and it hurt, 134 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:53,200 it actually hurt a lot but yeah I mean other than that my back, it's playing me up, my 135 00:16:53,200 --> 00:17:00,280 lower back is hurting an awful lot, I was washing up today and I said to Lisa, I said 136 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:08,280 it's becoming quite regular from standing there washing up, my back absolutely kills 137 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:15,880 me it is really painful and I can't even explain the type of pain it is, it's just really strange 138 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,920 and it does make me sort of kind of have to bend down to try and make the pain go away 139 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:29,200 all that sort of thing and yeah I've got to be honest it's something I'm kind of trying 140 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:36,520 to figure out as to why it's doing what it's doing and everything else but apart from that 141 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:45,200 do you know what I'm doing well, I'm doing good, I'm absolutely, do you know what I'm 142 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:53,040 very very honest there's been occasions recently where in my head I actually I think I've been 143 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:59,120 kind of giving up a little bit, I think I was kind of thinking to myself well this is 144 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:06,840 my lot, do you know what just take it on the chin, accept it, it is what it is, well it's 145 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:18,040 not what it is, absolutely not what it is, MS, F you, because I am going to continue 146 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:28,960 to fight, I am going to continue to literally just be me, it is that simple and that's never 147 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:38,360 going to change. Well I think that will probably do for today, I don't want to go too far into 148 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:44,080 things, I am going to keep you all informed, I'll let you know how things go with the Fez 149 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:49,800 machine again that's a couple of weeks, there will be a couple of shows before then but 150 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:57,040 what I'll also do is I'll keep you all up to date with potential for me to be looking 151 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:10,000 at new training to broaden my prospects for work because that's nothing but positive and 152 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:18,040 it is training courses that I am looking into. Well thank you all for listening, I know today's 153 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:25,280 show has probably been a little bit different actually, it's been a bit more, I don't know, 154 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:30,640 I don't know the right way to put it but today's show even for me has felt a bit different 155 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:37,440 and I've enjoyed it. Well I hope you all have a really good week and I very much look forward 156 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:42,120 to talking to you all again soon. Speak soon, bye bye.