Hello and welcome back here again, Kamasalo, see how everyone is doing. I must admit, I
say it's, he really is good being back actually recording properly. Those couple of weeks
off was strange, to say the least, very strange. But yeah, I think today, to be honest with
you, I'm going to do a bit of a general update on myself because I've got to be honest with
you, the last couple of days haven't been particularly good days, I have to say. Not
really enjoyed them. Also going to talk a little bit about some of the stuff we've got
going on at home and I've mentioned it previously about doing some decorating and trying to
sort of get ready for a potential move. Yeah, that's in full swing currently. And it's,
there's a lot to think about. Also, I'm going to mention some a bit later, I'll go into
a bit more detail about this whole cost of living thing. Now, I've said it before, I'm
not a politician, nothing like that. I've just got some thoughts I'm going to put out
about. That's all. That's all it is. But firstly, I'm going to start today really just explaining
on how I've been. I know I've said previous that I've had no new issues. Just some of
the old issues kind of causing more problems. Well, the last couple of days, actually yesterday,
I did something I've never had to do. And that was sleep. A lot of the day. My back
is going to sound really strange, but my back, my spine felt numb, really, really numb. My
legs were, I mean, they're always bad. But again, it was particularly bad. I didn't get
out of bed till about two, three o'clock yesterday afternoon. Believe me, that just does not
ever happen. But the pain was was just totally different level. It was something I've never
actually, I don't think I've ever had it quite so bad. Obviously, I've had it where it's been
pretty hard to cope with. Actually, yesterday was, it was a totally different level. It
really was a totally different level. It, like I say, it left me bed bound for most
of the day, which I'll be honest with you, it made me feel awful. It really did. I apologized
to Lisa, I apologized to the kids. Naturally, all of them said to me, do not ever apologize.
You know, it's one of those things you can't help it. They're right. I couldn't help it.
But because it was something so new and so strange, I sort of, I did feel bad. I did
feel bad and I shouldn't feel bad. And as I say, thankfully, my support network is so
good that they made me realize, actually, just don't feel bad. Just it's going to happen
from time to time. Don't worry about it. Which honestly, that helped a lot. It helped an
awful lot. I'm noticing, so in the last week, I'm noticing some, some actual different things.
The other night I had some enormous pain in my left leg. We were sat, me and Lisa were
sat watching a film and I actually had to get up and try and do some stretching exercises
to try and stretch the leg out a little bit and stop it being quite so bad. It worked
a bit. So it's only some basic stretches, sort of laid on my back. Did the best I could
to sort of get, it was my left leg that was so bad. So pull my left leg up, stretch it.
And then sort of did an exercise where I got down on all fours, used the sofa to stretch
my left leg onto and sort of just try and lower myself down a little bit to try and
stretch the muscles out. Which again, it helped. It did help quite a bit. I've got to say that.
It was, I can't say it got rid of it because it didn't. It just made it a little bit more
manageable that's all. So yeah, I mean that's kind of where I'm going at the moment. I'm
having a bit of a struggle. I've got to say that. I am having a bit of a struggle. The
whole point of me doing what I'm doing with regards to these podcasts and everything else
is for me to be straight so that people coming in from the outside who may be having similar
issues know you're not alone. This condition is very much a case of, it's very individual
to each person. We go through things that are similar, but everyone is different. Every
single person with MS is different. We all go through things in a totally different way.
So if this podcast can do anything at all to just make you realize actually you're not
on your own. There's other people out there too that are struggling. There's other people
that are going through similar things. If I can find a way of putting ideas out there
to help people look at different ways of handling it for themselves, that's what I'm doing it
for. That's the whole purpose of what I'm doing. Because for me, when I got my diagnosis
or when I first got told to expect the diagnosis of MS, it was very much a case of I was kind
of left on my own to sort of try and deal with it in the medical sense. Obviously I
had my family and everyone else available and they were fantastic. But from a medical
sense it was very much a case of actually I've got to figure this stuff out for myself.
And believe me when I tell you I am still an absolute novice. I really am an absolute
novice. And that's why I won't do a lot of talking about the medical side of things.
Because I don't want to give you false information. Again, that's not what I'm here for. I'm here
to try and help get the thoughts out there for people. As well as, I'll be honest, like
I've said a million times, clearing my own mind. Sitting here, so I used to be sitting
here in front of my mobile phone chatting away. Well now I'm sitting in front of my
laptop chatting away. And it really does help. It helps a lot. So that's one of the other
things I would say. Talk. I've said this previously. Talk. Don't matter who to. Just talk. Even
if you've got a pet cat, pet dog or plant in your house, talk. Get your thoughts out
there. You can do it. You can do it. But again, in terms of the sort of things that I'm kind
of dealing with at the moment, that's where I am. I'm sat here now. It's not nice. It's
not nice. But I'm finding ways round. I'm finding things to try and help. Like I say,
yesterday was a sleep day. It was a rest day. A couple of days ago I treated myself to a
new game on the Xbox, a golf game. So when I did get up yesterday, I spent a bit of time
on it. I was sat on the sofa chatting away with Lisa and the kids. And yeah, just playing
my new golf game, playing Fortnite and just relaxing. Trying to get myself back into a
position where actually, yeah, this hurts. Yes, I mean a enormous amount of pain, but
you know what? I'm going to fight through it. And that for me is my biggest thing. I'm
going to fight through it. Again, coming out here today to come and record my podcast.
It's something for me to fight through. And for me, it works. But yeah, that as I say,
that's where I am currently. That's kind of what I've got going on. Coming on to the other
side of things in terms of what we've got going on in the house decorating wise. The
hall, stairs, landing, all wallpapered. Looks absolutely amazing. I know I've said this
on the last podcast. It looks incredible. It looks brilliant. Now we've got the task
of bedrooms. And with myself, Lisa, my dad, we've just had a conversation about the best
way to do all the bedrooms. It's going to be a really big job. A really, really big
job. But actually the thought of it is very satisfying. I can't say that is very satisfying.
Yeah, there's money to be spent. There's a whole lot of effort to be taken. And I am
talking wow, blow your mind kind of work. I'm really looking forward to it. Because
again, from my point of view, looks like I've been out of work now for a small amount of
time, probably what month and a half, give or take. I've been out of work. And yes, the
doctor has signed me off for the bare minimum till the end of June. But there's a good chance
that's going to go significantly longer. But having something to focus on, having something
to look at and say, yeah, this needs doing that needs doing, just sort of get my brain
ticking over a little bit, get the thought processes going. And then putting in the actual
work itself. Okay, that bit hurts. A bit does give pain and whatever else. But actually,
when the job's done, like with the hall and the stairs, and like I say, I've been to my
work on that was very minimal. I did quite a bit of the prep work. But when it came to
the skilled stuff, that was my dad and Lisa. It's the afters. It looks fantastic. It really
does. Next Monday, we've got the carpet people out to come and fit the carpet. I can't wait
to see that. Earlier today, we had the new handrail for stairs turn up. I think it looks
lovely. It's not put up yet. But it looks lovely. It's a nice sort of chrome type. So
yeah, I'll be honest with you, I'm really quite looking forward to seeing that go up.
Once all this work's done, it's gonna look fantastic. I'll be honest, I cannot wait to
see it really, really calm. But yeah, I mean, that's that's kind of where where that is,
there's lots of stuff to be done. There's lots of effort to be gone to. And I'm really
looking forward to putting that effort in. I gotta say that I'm really looking forward
to it. Because again, I'm gonna say it, it gives me something to focus on. I don't have
a job to focus on currently. So actually, let's get something. And again, that's, I'm
gonna put this in there that I wasn't going to talk about today. Is having this this focus.
Because like I say, I've kind of got more into the Xbox side of things recently, I'm
now starting to stream games on Twitch. Because again, it's giving me a focus. It's giving
me something to look at and say, right, I need to get this done. I want to get this
done. Actually, I'm enjoying it. Because what worries me is if I sit and do nothing. Oh,
if I'm doing nothing at all. What's what's my brain doing? It's just gonna sort of go
to go to mush a little bit. And to be fair, that's what I'm determined to not have happen.
And like I've said, in video for the MS Trust, I'm, I'm determined, absolutely determined
to not have this condition. Define me. Now again, something I'm considering doing. And
again, this is, you know what, I wasn't going to talk about it today, but I'm going to.
I'm seriously considering doing certain types of merch, as the kids call it. Just sort
of putting little slogans on shirts, cups, that sort of stuff. Now, there's a slogan
that I thought of for today, and I'm not going to say it in its entirety. But what I'm absolutely
certain of is I am not going to let MS define me. Not a chance. Not a chance. Yes, it's
going to have its times. Yes, it's going to have its days. And yes, it's going to kick
my backside at times. But you know what it's not going to do? It's not going to drag me
down. Even when it's having its days where it is giving me a good kicking. But you know
what? I'm still, still not going to let it define me. Not a chance. Not a chance. Because
at the end of the day, if I give into this thing, what am I? And I'm not prepared to
look and think about what the possibilities are if I allow it to define me. So, MS, as
I've said previously, bring it on. Because do you know what? I've got this. I've got
this. And I am absolutely going to fight through. And I'm going to smile. And I'm going to keep
smiling. And even on the bad days, all I'm going to do then is sit and think about the
good days. Because for me personally, I want to remember the good days. I want to know
the good days. And I will keep the good days coming. Even through the bad, I am prepared
to keep going. Really is that simple. It really is that simple. Anyway, just very briefly
today, I'm going to touch on, actually I'll come back to that in a minute. One of the
things I've recently done, I know I've mentioned it, is this Lion's Mane mushroom. Little capsules,
little tablets. I take two of them a day. Now, I'm only about four or five days in.
Something happened last night. And these Lion's Mane, they are supposed to help memory. Now,
something last night made me think, actually, do you know what, maybe these things are actually
doing what they're supposed to do in such a short time. Because my memory is absolutely
rubbish. And it's only in the last few months it's gone that way. Now, I was filling up
my tablet boxes last night and I realised one of them was missing. And immediately I
thought to myself, well that's gone, I ain't got a clue where that's gone, not a chance.
All of a sudden, something just went click in my brain. And I literally could physically
see where I'd put that tablet box. I literally said to Lisa, I said to her, I said, I can
see what I've done, I know where it is. And what I'd done the night previous, the
tablet box was in, I'll explain it, the tablet box was in my left jeans pocket and as I was
taking my jeans off to get ready for bed, I took the tablet box out of my jeans pocket
and I put it on the side in the bedroom where it would never go. I'd never put it where
I actually did. Now, I'm thinking to myself, am I remembering something here that hasn't
actually happened? But no, in my head I knew, I knew full well and I could see exactly what
had been done. I turned around to my right, to the place where in my thought I knew I'd
put that tablet box, it was sat there. And this might sound absolutely crazy, but I got
so proud, I got so hyped up that actually, do you know what, I remembered that and I
literally could remember it moment by moment as to what happened, where it was and why
it was there. Now, I'm not going to say a hundred percent this has got to do with them
tablets, but it'd be very strange if it isn't because I tell you now, previously there's
no way I'd have remembered that. Not a chance, not a chance. But actually, I could see it,
I physically could see what I'd done and where I'd put it, why I'd put it there and
whatever else. Incredible, absolutely incredible. And yeah, I was over the moon. I was so proud
and so pleased it's unreal. But yeah, I mean, I wasn't going to discuss that today, but
do you know what, it was in my head, so let's get it out. But yeah, I'm now just very briefly
going to touch on this cost of living thing. Because starting to notice it an awful lot,
go shopping, pick up a couple of days worth of food, some other little bits and pieces.
You're doing a hundred quid easy. A hundred pound on a few little bits and pieces and
I'm not talking and going shopping in really expensive places here. It's ridiculous. Come
on folks, this is just crazy. We're going to get to a point soon where we're going to
have to go out and start hunting for food. All this profiteering that's going on, it's
got to be stopped. Yes, I totally and utterly respect companies need to make a profit, not
just a profit, a healthy profit. That's got to be done. A fully, fully understand that
fully respect that there's no point in being in business if they're not making huge profits.
Some of the profits that have been made, and again, I mean, I'm not going to start quoting
numbers and whatever else. Some of the profits in some of the different types and I'm going
to chuck out the things like oil and whatever else, their profits are obscene, absolutely
obscene. And yes, you're going to make money. I fully respect that. You need to make money.
You're running a business. You absolutely have every right to make a big healthy profit,
but an obscene profit that's actually making people on the ground level go, well, can we
afford this? Can we afford that? Where's your profits going to go when people can't afford
to pay the bills that you're actually charging? Just throwing that one out there. Like I say,
I'm not going to go into massive details on this, but you know what? It's really, really
frustrating and really annoying when you're looking at things going, you're literally
just trying to cream off people now. And that's got to stop. Yes, make a profit. Yes, make
a healthy profit. That's life. That's business. That's how things work. I don't think anyone
out there really in their heart hearts can turn around and say, oh, no, you shouldn't
make a profit. What would be the point in business? But making these obscene profits
at the expense of the everyday person. Come on, folks, come on, we've got to do better
than that. Got to do better than that. But anyway, that will do for today. Thank you
very much for listening. I know I've sort of gone off on a bit of a tangent at times
today. But again, I've gone back to not scripting these, these episodes because actually at
times I prefer just coming out and having a talk and getting things off my brain. Well,
I hope you all have a good time as best you possibly can. And I will speak to you all
really, really soon. Have a good one. Bye bye.