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Hello and welcome back here again, Kamasalo, see how everyone is doing. I must admit, I

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say it's, he really is good being back actually recording properly. Those couple of weeks

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off was strange, to say the least, very strange. But yeah, I think today, to be honest with

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you, I'm going to do a bit of a general update on myself because I've got to be honest with

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you, the last couple of days haven't been particularly good days, I have to say. Not

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really enjoyed them. Also going to talk a little bit about some of the stuff we've got

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going on at home and I've mentioned it previously about doing some decorating and trying to

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sort of get ready for a potential move. Yeah, that's in full swing currently. And it's,

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there's a lot to think about. Also, I'm going to mention some a bit later, I'll go into

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a bit more detail about this whole cost of living thing. Now, I've said it before, I'm

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not a politician, nothing like that. I've just got some thoughts I'm going to put out

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about. That's all. That's all it is. But firstly, I'm going to start today really just explaining

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on how I've been. I know I've said previous that I've had no new issues. Just some of

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the old issues kind of causing more problems. Well, the last couple of days, actually yesterday,

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I did something I've never had to do. And that was sleep. A lot of the day. My back

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is going to sound really strange, but my back, my spine felt numb, really, really numb. My

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legs were, I mean, they're always bad. But again, it was particularly bad. I didn't get

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out of bed till about two, three o'clock yesterday afternoon. Believe me, that just does not

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ever happen. But the pain was was just totally different level. It was something I've never

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actually, I don't think I've ever had it quite so bad. Obviously, I've had it where it's been

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pretty hard to cope with. Actually, yesterday was, it was a totally different level. It

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really was a totally different level. It, like I say, it left me bed bound for most

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of the day, which I'll be honest with you, it made me feel awful. It really did. I apologized

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to Lisa, I apologized to the kids. Naturally, all of them said to me, do not ever apologize.

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You know, it's one of those things you can't help it. They're right. I couldn't help it.

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But because it was something so new and so strange, I sort of, I did feel bad. I did

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feel bad and I shouldn't feel bad. And as I say, thankfully, my support network is so

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good that they made me realize, actually, just don't feel bad. Just it's going to happen

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from time to time. Don't worry about it. Which honestly, that helped a lot. It helped an

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awful lot. I'm noticing, so in the last week, I'm noticing some, some actual different things.

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The other night I had some enormous pain in my left leg. We were sat, me and Lisa were

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sat watching a film and I actually had to get up and try and do some stretching exercises

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to try and stretch the leg out a little bit and stop it being quite so bad. It worked

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a bit. So it's only some basic stretches, sort of laid on my back. Did the best I could

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to sort of get, it was my left leg that was so bad. So pull my left leg up, stretch it.

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And then sort of did an exercise where I got down on all fours, used the sofa to stretch

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my left leg onto and sort of just try and lower myself down a little bit to try and

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stretch the muscles out. Which again, it helped. It did help quite a bit. I've got to say that.

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It was, I can't say it got rid of it because it didn't. It just made it a little bit more

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manageable that's all. So yeah, I mean that's kind of where I'm going at the moment. I'm

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having a bit of a struggle. I've got to say that. I am having a bit of a struggle. The

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whole point of me doing what I'm doing with regards to these podcasts and everything else

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is for me to be straight so that people coming in from the outside who may be having similar

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issues know you're not alone. This condition is very much a case of, it's very individual

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to each person. We go through things that are similar, but everyone is different. Every

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single person with MS is different. We all go through things in a totally different way.

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So if this podcast can do anything at all to just make you realize actually you're not

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on your own. There's other people out there too that are struggling. There's other people

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that are going through similar things. If I can find a way of putting ideas out there

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to help people look at different ways of handling it for themselves, that's what I'm doing it

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for. That's the whole purpose of what I'm doing. Because for me, when I got my diagnosis

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or when I first got told to expect the diagnosis of MS, it was very much a case of I was kind

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of left on my own to sort of try and deal with it in the medical sense. Obviously I

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had my family and everyone else available and they were fantastic. But from a medical

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sense it was very much a case of actually I've got to figure this stuff out for myself.

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And believe me when I tell you I am still an absolute novice. I really am an absolute

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novice. And that's why I won't do a lot of talking about the medical side of things.

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Because I don't want to give you false information. Again, that's not what I'm here for. I'm here

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to try and help get the thoughts out there for people. As well as, I'll be honest, like

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I've said a million times, clearing my own mind. Sitting here, so I used to be sitting

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here in front of my mobile phone chatting away. Well now I'm sitting in front of my

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laptop chatting away. And it really does help. It helps a lot. So that's one of the other

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things I would say. Talk. I've said this previously. Talk. Don't matter who to. Just talk. Even

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if you've got a pet cat, pet dog or plant in your house, talk. Get your thoughts out

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there. You can do it. You can do it. But again, in terms of the sort of things that I'm kind

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of dealing with at the moment, that's where I am. I'm sat here now. It's not nice. It's

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not nice. But I'm finding ways round. I'm finding things to try and help. Like I say,

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yesterday was a sleep day. It was a rest day. A couple of days ago I treated myself to a

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new game on the Xbox, a golf game. So when I did get up yesterday, I spent a bit of time

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on it. I was sat on the sofa chatting away with Lisa and the kids. And yeah, just playing

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my new golf game, playing Fortnite and just relaxing. Trying to get myself back into a

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position where actually, yeah, this hurts. Yes, I mean a enormous amount of pain, but

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you know what? I'm going to fight through it. And that for me is my biggest thing. I'm

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going to fight through it. Again, coming out here today to come and record my podcast.

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It's something for me to fight through. And for me, it works. But yeah, that as I say,

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that's where I am currently. That's kind of what I've got going on. Coming on to the other

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side of things in terms of what we've got going on in the house decorating wise. The

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hall, stairs, landing, all wallpapered. Looks absolutely amazing. I know I've said this

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on the last podcast. It looks incredible. It looks brilliant. Now we've got the task

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of bedrooms. And with myself, Lisa, my dad, we've just had a conversation about the best

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way to do all the bedrooms. It's going to be a really big job. A really, really big

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job. But actually the thought of it is very satisfying. I can't say that is very satisfying.

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Yeah, there's money to be spent. There's a whole lot of effort to be taken. And I am

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talking wow, blow your mind kind of work. I'm really looking forward to it. Because

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again, from my point of view, looks like I've been out of work now for a small amount of

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time, probably what month and a half, give or take. I've been out of work. And yes, the

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doctor has signed me off for the bare minimum till the end of June. But there's a good chance

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that's going to go significantly longer. But having something to focus on, having something

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to look at and say, yeah, this needs doing that needs doing, just sort of get my brain

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ticking over a little bit, get the thought processes going. And then putting in the actual

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work itself. Okay, that bit hurts. A bit does give pain and whatever else. But actually,

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when the job's done, like with the hall and the stairs, and like I say, I've been to my

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work on that was very minimal. I did quite a bit of the prep work. But when it came to

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the skilled stuff, that was my dad and Lisa. It's the afters. It looks fantastic. It really

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does. Next Monday, we've got the carpet people out to come and fit the carpet. I can't wait

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to see that. Earlier today, we had the new handrail for stairs turn up. I think it looks

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lovely. It's not put up yet. But it looks lovely. It's a nice sort of chrome type. So

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yeah, I'll be honest with you, I'm really quite looking forward to seeing that go up.

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Once all this work's done, it's gonna look fantastic. I'll be honest, I cannot wait to

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see it really, really calm. But yeah, I mean, that's that's kind of where where that is,

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there's lots of stuff to be done. There's lots of effort to be gone to. And I'm really

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looking forward to putting that effort in. I gotta say that I'm really looking forward

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to it. Because again, I'm gonna say it, it gives me something to focus on. I don't have

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a job to focus on currently. So actually, let's get something. And again, that's, I'm

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gonna put this in there that I wasn't going to talk about today. Is having this this focus.

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Because like I say, I've kind of got more into the Xbox side of things recently, I'm

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now starting to stream games on Twitch. Because again, it's giving me a focus. It's giving

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me something to look at and say, right, I need to get this done. I want to get this

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done. Actually, I'm enjoying it. Because what worries me is if I sit and do nothing. Oh,

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if I'm doing nothing at all. What's what's my brain doing? It's just gonna sort of go

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to go to mush a little bit. And to be fair, that's what I'm determined to not have happen.

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And like I've said, in video for the MS Trust, I'm, I'm determined, absolutely determined

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to not have this condition. Define me. Now again, something I'm considering doing. And

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again, this is, you know what, I wasn't going to talk about it today, but I'm going to.

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I'm seriously considering doing certain types of merch, as the kids call it. Just sort

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of putting little slogans on shirts, cups, that sort of stuff. Now, there's a slogan

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that I thought of for today, and I'm not going to say it in its entirety. But what I'm absolutely

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certain of is I am not going to let MS define me. Not a chance. Not a chance. Yes, it's

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going to have its times. Yes, it's going to have its days. And yes, it's going to kick

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my backside at times. But you know what it's not going to do? It's not going to drag me

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down. Even when it's having its days where it is giving me a good kicking. But you know

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what? I'm still, still not going to let it define me. Not a chance. Not a chance. Because

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at the end of the day, if I give into this thing, what am I? And I'm not prepared to

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look and think about what the possibilities are if I allow it to define me. So, MS, as

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I've said previously, bring it on. Because do you know what? I've got this. I've got

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this. And I am absolutely going to fight through. And I'm going to smile. And I'm going to keep

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smiling. And even on the bad days, all I'm going to do then is sit and think about the

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good days. Because for me personally, I want to remember the good days. I want to know

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the good days. And I will keep the good days coming. Even through the bad, I am prepared

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to keep going. Really is that simple. It really is that simple. Anyway, just very briefly

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today, I'm going to touch on, actually I'll come back to that in a minute. One of the

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things I've recently done, I know I've mentioned it, is this Lion's Mane mushroom. Little capsules,

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little tablets. I take two of them a day. Now, I'm only about four or five days in.

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Something happened last night. And these Lion's Mane, they are supposed to help memory. Now,

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something last night made me think, actually, do you know what, maybe these things are actually

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doing what they're supposed to do in such a short time. Because my memory is absolutely

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rubbish. And it's only in the last few months it's gone that way. Now, I was filling up

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my tablet boxes last night and I realised one of them was missing. And immediately I

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thought to myself, well that's gone, I ain't got a clue where that's gone, not a chance.

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All of a sudden, something just went click in my brain. And I literally could physically

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see where I'd put that tablet box. I literally said to Lisa, I said to her, I said, I can

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see what I've done, I know where it is. And what I'd done the night previous, the

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tablet box was in, I'll explain it, the tablet box was in my left jeans pocket and as I was

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taking my jeans off to get ready for bed, I took the tablet box out of my jeans pocket

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and I put it on the side in the bedroom where it would never go. I'd never put it where

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I actually did. Now, I'm thinking to myself, am I remembering something here that hasn't

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actually happened? But no, in my head I knew, I knew full well and I could see exactly what

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had been done. I turned around to my right, to the place where in my thought I knew I'd

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put that tablet box, it was sat there. And this might sound absolutely crazy, but I got

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so proud, I got so hyped up that actually, do you know what, I remembered that and I

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literally could remember it moment by moment as to what happened, where it was and why

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it was there. Now, I'm not going to say a hundred percent this has got to do with them

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tablets, but it'd be very strange if it isn't because I tell you now, previously there's

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no way I'd have remembered that. Not a chance, not a chance. But actually, I could see it,

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I physically could see what I'd done and where I'd put it, why I'd put it there and

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whatever else. Incredible, absolutely incredible. And yeah, I was over the moon. I was so proud

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and so pleased it's unreal. But yeah, I mean, I wasn't going to discuss that today, but

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do you know what, it was in my head, so let's get it out. But yeah, I'm now just very briefly

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going to touch on this cost of living thing. Because starting to notice it an awful lot,

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go shopping, pick up a couple of days worth of food, some other little bits and pieces.

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You're doing a hundred quid easy. A hundred pound on a few little bits and pieces and

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I'm not talking and going shopping in really expensive places here. It's ridiculous. Come

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on folks, this is just crazy. We're going to get to a point soon where we're going to

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have to go out and start hunting for food. All this profiteering that's going on, it's

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got to be stopped. Yes, I totally and utterly respect companies need to make a profit, not

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just a profit, a healthy profit. That's got to be done. A fully, fully understand that

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fully respect that there's no point in being in business if they're not making huge profits.

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Some of the profits that have been made, and again, I mean, I'm not going to start quoting

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numbers and whatever else. Some of the profits in some of the different types and I'm going

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to chuck out the things like oil and whatever else, their profits are obscene, absolutely

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obscene. And yes, you're going to make money. I fully respect that. You need to make money.

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You're running a business. You absolutely have every right to make a big healthy profit,

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but an obscene profit that's actually making people on the ground level go, well, can we

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afford this? Can we afford that? Where's your profits going to go when people can't afford

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to pay the bills that you're actually charging? Just throwing that one out there. Like I say,

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I'm not going to go into massive details on this, but you know what? It's really, really

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frustrating and really annoying when you're looking at things going, you're literally

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just trying to cream off people now. And that's got to stop. Yes, make a profit. Yes, make

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a healthy profit. That's life. That's business. That's how things work. I don't think anyone

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out there really in their heart hearts can turn around and say, oh, no, you shouldn't

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make a profit. What would be the point in business? But making these obscene profits

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at the expense of the everyday person. Come on, folks, come on, we've got to do better

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than that. Got to do better than that. But anyway, that will do for today. Thank you

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very much for listening. I know I've sort of gone off on a bit of a tangent at times

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today. But again, I've gone back to not scripting these, these episodes because actually at

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times I prefer just coming out and having a talk and getting things off my brain. Well,

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I hope you all have a good time as best you possibly can. And I will speak to you all

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really, really soon. Have a good one. Bye bye.