Hello and welcome back, I'm back, couple of weeks off and I've not recorded, been a bit
strange I must admit, I will get into that on today's show. Firstly I hope you are all
doing ok, I hope you've all been as relaxed as you can be or whatever you've been up to
has been, yeah just been kind of good. What I will say is, it's been a bit strange from
my point of view having a couple of weeks without recording, I think Monday just gone
is the third week, the third Monday that I've not actually put out a podcast, I've not enjoyed
it, I'll be honest, I've not enjoyed it, I've kind of missed it. But you know what, I think
we'll jump straight in today and it's a bit of a realisation actually as to why I've not
recorded the last couple of weeks and it's kind of something that, I was drinking a cup
of tea and relaxing because I must admit today I've needed to relax the last couple of days
I have, again I'll explain, bear with me, bear with me I will, I'll keep you all up
today don't panic, don't think it's fine, relax. Anyway, but yeah it's a bit of a realisation
moment sitting there drinking this lovely strong cup of tea that Lisa made me, it was
gorgeous and she'd gone out to work bless her and I'm sitting there thinking I need
to go and record a podcast now because I haven't done it. I'm sitting there thinking
what excuse can I come up with for not sitting and recording a podcast and all of a sudden
I said to myself you've been like this for about the last four weeks or so, you've sort
of tried to make excuses to not sit and do not just a podcast, other stuff as well, the
TikTok, Instagram, my blog on the website, all that sort of stuff, what excuse can I
come up with? And do you know what, I'm actually, and I'm not ashamed to say it, I've put it
all down to a bit of confidence I think to be honest with you and I can kind of track
it back a little bit to me having to walk away from my job. It genuinely genuinely seems
to me that that seemed to be the catalyst for me to lose a bit of confidence and I don't
know exactly why if I'm honest, I really don't. I've always been a working man, I've always
gone out, worked hard, you know if you can call security working hard. It's not the toughest
job in the world, it really isn't, but I'd go out to work, my brain would be ticking
over, I'd have things in my head that I knew I needed to do on that block of Ford that
I'm at work or whatever else. I haven't got that now. So I kind of, I don't know why,
I can't put my finger on it, but that to me seems to be where things kind of changed
a little bit in my thoughts. And I can't explain why I sort of came to that realisation either,
it just seemed to happen. I know maybe that's the way these things work, maybe it is just
every now and then you have this moment of clarity in your head or whatever, I don't
know, I don't know. But I'm back, yes I'm back, you can see that, you can hear that,
and do you know what? I'm back with a vengeance. I'm back to stay and I'm back to carry on
talking, carry on getting a word out there, because it needs to be, it needs to be. I
think that's probably enough for me rattling on about this lack of confidence thing, because
in my personal life I think I've done quite well to hide that. I've kind of hidden it
from myself as well. But now, like I've just said, I'm back. What I will say is Amazon
is bleeping at me on my laptop, go away Amazon, me and you will have a conversation another
time, just leave me be, thanks very much. But yeah, I mean, what's been out there for
me, do you know what, one of the first things I'm going to talk about is about a week or
so back, I jumped on my scooter on Eleanor, took a run down into town, and while I was
in town, and it's been a while, I've been thinking, I probably need to change the battery.
Bless her, she was getting to the point where you could tell the battery wasn't quite where
it should be. So we changed that. And I went into a shop in town, Prime Comfort, and had
a good chat with the staff in there. Yeah, they was absolutely fantastic, genuinely can't
compliment them in any higher than I am. Prime Comfort in Grantham, you were superb. Changed
the battery in Eleanor in 10 minutes. Dead simple. Stood there chatting away, really
good conversation. And you know, we was talking about this podcast, my TikTok, all that sort
of stuff, my YouTube, just about everything that you can imagine. Yeah, again, I mean,
it was absolutely fantastic. And for anyone in the Grantham area, if you're looking for
any mobility products, just drop by, drop by, they're in the marketplace, pop along,
have a conversation with them, staff are fantastic. Again, can't compliment them any higher. Did
a great job, genuinely great job. And there was this one mobility scooter in there. Really,
really, really nice. Apparently it's got a little button on it, where you can off-road
up to 25 mile an hour. Oh no, my word, I'm so tempted, I'm not going to do it, because
it's going to be expensive. But it would be fun, it would be so much entertainment. But
common sense tells me don't do it. Behave yourself. Yes, yes, I'm a good boy, I know,
I know. But yeah, back to what I was saying, they were brilliant. So Prime Comfort, Grantham,
thank you very much. Appreciate what you did. Very, very grateful. But yeah, I mean, that
sort of thing, I must admit, I've got to say it. Eleanor, Eleanor, sorry, tongue's getting
stuck. Eleanor, my scooter, she's been brilliant for me, she really has. If it wasn't for that
scooter, certainly at the moment, over the last couple of months, I would probably have
been housebound. I wouldn't have been able to get out and walk about, because at the
moment, I've really come. And that brings me on to the next thing that I'm going to
talk about today, which is just an update on me and update on how I've been what I've
been doing, all that sort of stuff. I've been having some struggles, I'm going to be honest
with you. There's definitely been some struggles. It's not been easy. What I will say is I've
not had any real new issues, which is amazing, because I really did go through a good few
months where almost every day it was something new going wrong or whatever else. And actually,
that doesn't seem to be happening much now. I've talked about it a lot, but the foot drop
on the right hand side is really bad. It's causing a big, big problem, a massive problem.
I even had to replace my slippers. Yes, I wear slippers. I'm never used to, but I do
now and I love them. Absolutely love them. I'm not going to feel guilty for it. It is
what it is. I'm quite chuffed. I'm quite happy with my slippers, my new ones that I bought.
They're really comfy. But that's a conversation for another day. Anyway, but yeah, I mean,
I've got the foot drop. I still keep getting every now and then sort of what water drop
feelings on the top of my head. It's not very often, but it happens. The thing that's absolutely
smashing me at the moment is fatigue. And it is very much a case of I can do the bare
minimum of anything. And I do mean the bare minimum, but it absolutely destroys me. I
mean, I'm shattered afterwards, absolutely exhausted. And I'm not just talking tired.
I'm really not just talking tired here. I am talking. I feel like I could sleep for
a month, but I'm doing what I can to fight through that and keep going. Because I don't
want to give in. Okay, days like today, I've got to give in. And I have. I've had a day
today where I'm just going to sit around, sit on the sofa. I've come out to come and
do the podcast. But yeah, I'm just going to sit about and relax because I need to. That's
not me letting MS win. That's me saying to MS, all right, fair enough. Today's your day.
Tomorrow's going to be mine. So yeah, I mean, that's kind of where where that is. The numbness
in my legs. That's again, it's not getting worse. It's not getting better. But it's it's
there. I mean, I can consistently not feel things. Well, you know what, I'm used to that.
I'll accept it. I like it, but I'll accept it. There's certain other bits and pieces.
I mean, I've started getting quite quite a lot of back pain, lower back pain. And it's
not the sort of back pain you think to yourself. Oh, I pulled a muscle or whatever else. No,
no, no, no, this is totally different. There's been a couple of times lately where I've had
a sort of sharp electric type pain in my lower back. And it's actually brought me to my knees.
It has made me go down on both knees and sort of try and get myself back up after a few
seconds because actually particularly painful, particularly painful. But again, I'm doing
what I can to try and fight through that. Yes, I'm still being naughty. I'm still not
using my sticks indoors and whatever else I know. I understand. I know I should be.
But if there's a wall for me to hold on to, I'm sure the wall's okay with it. I'm sure
it's not going to hurt the wall. But yes, I need to do it. I need to start using the
sticks indoors. I get it. I understand. It's just not easy to kind of give in to that.
Hashtag just saying. And now they've got a little nap flying around me. But yeah, I mean,
that's the sort of things I've got going on. At the moment, certain things are a struggle.
We've been doing some decorating indoors, trying to get the house ready to put on the
market. I'm ready for a possible move down to the South Coast. Now, I've not done massive
amounts of this stuff. The prep work, I've done a lot of sanding down and bits of painting
on the scaring balls, that sort of stuff. When I'm talking for tea, I'm talking this
has absolutely destroyed me. And trouble is what I've not been doing when I've been getting
tired from doing it. Actually, I've just been carrying on. I've not been letting myself
relax, which is fine. Which is fine. That's not a problem. Except the pain it brings afterwards.
And it ain't nice. It's absolutely awful. I'm going to be honest. It's very, very painful.
Okay. But yeah, I mean, it's particularly bad. It's very, very uncomfortable. The level
of discomfort is horrible and whatever else. But the work's needed doing so, you know,
I'll take it on the chin. That's my choice to carry on. And I'll do that. I'll continue
to do that while work needs doing. I will continue because actually at the moment, I've
got the time afterwards to recover. Like today. What I've got to say is my dad and Lisa mainly
have done the wallpapering on the landing stairs and the hallway. What a job they've
done. Absolutely different class. You know, my dad bless him, he's worked his backside
off and he's done an incredible job. Absolutely fantastic. I've had a little go. I put up
a couple of very small sheets of wallpaper. They were very small. And I'm not a decorator.
I'm definitely not. Certainly when it comes to wallpapering, I'm awful. But they come
out okay. I've kind of tried to learn a little bit because in all fairness, it doesn't hurt
to learn new things, does it? And I'm not that old that I can't learn stuff. I hope.
Don't think I'm that old. Do I look that old? Do I sound that old? Don't ask the kids
because their reply will be, you're ancient. Yeah, okay, I'm getting there. I'll be 40
years old. It was only 10 minutes ago. I was like 16. Where does the time go? It's ridiculous.
But anyway, back on topic. It's been difficult trying to get all this stuff done. But actually
it's been really quite enjoyable. And looking at the final outcome of the walls is absolutely
fantastic. I can't compliment it any higher. I really can't. We've got people out in the
week. They're going to come and measure up for carpet. So hopefully we'll get the carpet
put down soon. And then it's just going to look fantastic. I've done a couple of grown
up bits. A bit of interior design. Yep, me, interior design. I bought some lampshades.
They look quite good. Don't look bad at all. I've bought us a new banister for stairs.
That's not here yet. So that could still go wrong. Let's just, let's not get ahead of
ourselves on that. That could still go wrong. But I've also bought a shoe rack, which is
arriving tomorrow. That's coming flat pack. Yeah, yeah, that's coming flat pack. I'm glad
I've got people that know what they're doing because me and flat pack just know it doesn't
happen. I'm going to have a go, but it's probably not going to end particularly well. I'm going
to try though. I'm going to try my best. In terms of what else I've had going on, in all
fairness, not a great deal. If I'm honest, not a great deal. I've been signed off for
the next couple of months by my doctor from looking for work. Let's be totally honest,
there's a very good chance that's going to be a lot more than the next couple of months.
But I'm still, I want to get out there. I want to get into the working world. At the
moment, I think part time is probably going to be my best option. The way things are currently,
I think if I went full time, it could be a bit of a struggle. I don't think it would
be particularly easy, but I'll have a try. I'll have a try. Should I need to? I'll have
a try because again, and I've said this in different podcasts and it's something I will
continue to say, I am not going to give up. I will not give up. So bring it on. You know,
all these new challenges, just bring it on. There's going to be times I'm going to struggle.
I'm having those times from time to time now. So, you know, here's what it is. I will accept
those times. I will fight through those times. There will be days I'm going to lose. There's
going to be days I'm going to win. But overall, I'm going to be me because that's all I can
be. And me, I'm kind of fun. I would say I'm funny, but some people listening into this
podcast, they don't think I am funny. You know who you are. You know exactly who you
are. I'm funny. I'm sorry. It's true. I am funny. Well, at least I think so anyway. So
just just don't just, no, stop it. Stop now. Stop saying, Mike, no, you're not funny.
Stop that up. And it's funny. The computer is bleeping at me again. Maybe the computer
is telling me I'm not funny. Maybe I just need to accept I'm funny. Anyway, anyway,
I think that will probably do for today. I am going to get back on with every single
week. There's going to be a minimum of one upload. That's that's going to happen. That
will be on a Monday, like usual. There is going to be times I'm going to try and put
out two podcasts a week. On all of my socials, I'm going to get back onto them. Get onto
some some live videos on them. The blog, I'm going to start keeping back up to date with
the blog. Because like I said at the start, I'm back, I've understood what's been going
on. And I kind of Yeah, I can I can see why, if I'm honest. I can see why. Big changes
do tend to affect people. And yeah, I've gone through a few big changes in this last year.
I think it's time that I kind of move forward from them changes and create this this fresh
new start. Well, thank you all for listening. And what I will say to everyone that has been
downloading, while I've not actually been recording and putting out episodes, thank
you. You are all massively appreciated. Genuinely, genuinely appreciated. I hope you all have
a good time. And I will do my best and I will speak to you all very, very soon. Speak soon.
Bye bye.