1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,500 Hello and welcome back, I'm back, couple of weeks off and I've not recorded, been a bit 2 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:17,180 strange I must admit, I will get into that on today's show. Firstly I hope you are all 3 00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:23,900 doing ok, I hope you've all been as relaxed as you can be or whatever you've been up to 4 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:33,320 has been, yeah just been kind of good. What I will say is, it's been a bit strange from 5 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:38,320 my point of view having a couple of weeks without recording, I think Monday just gone 6 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:46,160 is the third week, the third Monday that I've not actually put out a podcast, I've not enjoyed 7 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:53,480 it, I'll be honest, I've not enjoyed it, I've kind of missed it. But you know what, I think 8 00:00:53,480 --> 00:01:02,160 we'll jump straight in today and it's a bit of a realisation actually as to why I've not 9 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:10,600 recorded the last couple of weeks and it's kind of something that, I was drinking a cup 10 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:16,600 of tea and relaxing because I must admit today I've needed to relax the last couple of days 11 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:21,720 I have, again I'll explain, bear with me, bear with me I will, I'll keep you all up 12 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:30,400 today don't panic, don't think it's fine, relax. Anyway, but yeah it's a bit of a realisation 13 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:35,680 moment sitting there drinking this lovely strong cup of tea that Lisa made me, it was 14 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:42,440 gorgeous and she'd gone out to work bless her and I'm sitting there thinking I need 15 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:48,540 to go and record a podcast now because I haven't done it. I'm sitting there thinking 16 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:56,360 what excuse can I come up with for not sitting and recording a podcast and all of a sudden 17 00:01:56,360 --> 00:02:04,160 I said to myself you've been like this for about the last four weeks or so, you've sort 18 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:09,960 of tried to make excuses to not sit and do not just a podcast, other stuff as well, the 19 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:16,280 TikTok, Instagram, my blog on the website, all that sort of stuff, what excuse can I 20 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:25,200 come up with? And do you know what, I'm actually, and I'm not ashamed to say it, I've put it 21 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:33,560 all down to a bit of confidence I think to be honest with you and I can kind of track 22 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:44,920 it back a little bit to me having to walk away from my job. It genuinely genuinely seems 23 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:56,360 to me that that seemed to be the catalyst for me to lose a bit of confidence and I don't 24 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:02,920 know exactly why if I'm honest, I really don't. I've always been a working man, I've always 25 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:09,760 gone out, worked hard, you know if you can call security working hard. It's not the toughest 26 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:17,480 job in the world, it really isn't, but I'd go out to work, my brain would be ticking 27 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:22,440 over, I'd have things in my head that I knew I needed to do on that block of Ford that 28 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:32,160 I'm at work or whatever else. I haven't got that now. So I kind of, I don't know why, 29 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:39,160 I can't put my finger on it, but that to me seems to be where things kind of changed 30 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:49,880 a little bit in my thoughts. And I can't explain why I sort of came to that realisation either, 31 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:56,160 it just seemed to happen. I know maybe that's the way these things work, maybe it is just 32 00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:01,680 every now and then you have this moment of clarity in your head or whatever, I don't 33 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:12,520 know, I don't know. But I'm back, yes I'm back, you can see that, you can hear that, 34 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:22,720 and do you know what? I'm back with a vengeance. I'm back to stay and I'm back to carry on 35 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:31,200 talking, carry on getting a word out there, because it needs to be, it needs to be. I 36 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:37,720 think that's probably enough for me rattling on about this lack of confidence thing, because 37 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:43,320 in my personal life I think I've done quite well to hide that. I've kind of hidden it 38 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:53,760 from myself as well. But now, like I've just said, I'm back. What I will say is Amazon 39 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:59,080 is bleeping at me on my laptop, go away Amazon, me and you will have a conversation another 40 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:08,480 time, just leave me be, thanks very much. But yeah, I mean, what's been out there for 41 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:14,840 me, do you know what, one of the first things I'm going to talk about is about a week or 42 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:24,360 so back, I jumped on my scooter on Eleanor, took a run down into town, and while I was 43 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:29,480 in town, and it's been a while, I've been thinking, I probably need to change the battery. 44 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:35,520 Bless her, she was getting to the point where you could tell the battery wasn't quite where 45 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:46,440 it should be. So we changed that. And I went into a shop in town, Prime Comfort, and had 46 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:53,280 a good chat with the staff in there. Yeah, they was absolutely fantastic, genuinely can't 47 00:05:53,280 --> 00:06:00,000 compliment them in any higher than I am. Prime Comfort in Grantham, you were superb. Changed 48 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:09,600 the battery in Eleanor in 10 minutes. Dead simple. Stood there chatting away, really 49 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:16,800 good conversation. And you know, we was talking about this podcast, my TikTok, all that sort 50 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:22,520 of stuff, my YouTube, just about everything that you can imagine. Yeah, again, I mean, 51 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:30,320 it was absolutely fantastic. And for anyone in the Grantham area, if you're looking for 52 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:35,680 any mobility products, just drop by, drop by, they're in the marketplace, pop along, 53 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:42,000 have a conversation with them, staff are fantastic. Again, can't compliment them any higher. Did 54 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:50,080 a great job, genuinely great job. And there was this one mobility scooter in there. Really, 55 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:56,600 really, really nice. Apparently it's got a little button on it, where you can off-road 56 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:05,680 up to 25 mile an hour. Oh no, my word, I'm so tempted, I'm not going to do it, because 57 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:15,320 it's going to be expensive. But it would be fun, it would be so much entertainment. But 58 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:22,000 common sense tells me don't do it. Behave yourself. Yes, yes, I'm a good boy, I know, 59 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:28,680 I know. But yeah, back to what I was saying, they were brilliant. So Prime Comfort, Grantham, 60 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:36,480 thank you very much. Appreciate what you did. Very, very grateful. But yeah, I mean, that 61 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:46,200 sort of thing, I must admit, I've got to say it. Eleanor, Eleanor, sorry, tongue's getting 62 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:53,400 stuck. Eleanor, my scooter, she's been brilliant for me, she really has. If it wasn't for that 63 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:58,760 scooter, certainly at the moment, over the last couple of months, I would probably have 64 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:04,240 been housebound. I wouldn't have been able to get out and walk about, because at the 65 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:09,160 moment, I've really come. And that brings me on to the next thing that I'm going to 66 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:17,240 talk about today, which is just an update on me and update on how I've been what I've 67 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:25,480 been doing, all that sort of stuff. I've been having some struggles, I'm going to be honest 68 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:32,280 with you. There's definitely been some struggles. It's not been easy. What I will say is I've 69 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:41,200 not had any real new issues, which is amazing, because I really did go through a good few 70 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:50,600 months where almost every day it was something new going wrong or whatever else. And actually, 71 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:59,180 that doesn't seem to be happening much now. I've talked about it a lot, but the foot drop 72 00:08:59,180 --> 00:09:05,600 on the right hand side is really bad. It's causing a big, big problem, a massive problem. 73 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:13,080 I even had to replace my slippers. Yes, I wear slippers. I'm never used to, but I do 74 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:20,720 now and I love them. Absolutely love them. I'm not going to feel guilty for it. It is 75 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:26,920 what it is. I'm quite chuffed. I'm quite happy with my slippers, my new ones that I bought. 76 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:34,360 They're really comfy. But that's a conversation for another day. Anyway, but yeah, I mean, 77 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:38,640 I've got the foot drop. I still keep getting every now and then sort of what water drop 78 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:45,300 feelings on the top of my head. It's not very often, but it happens. The thing that's absolutely 79 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:52,840 smashing me at the moment is fatigue. And it is very much a case of I can do the bare 80 00:09:52,840 --> 00:10:01,760 minimum of anything. And I do mean the bare minimum, but it absolutely destroys me. I 81 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:08,480 mean, I'm shattered afterwards, absolutely exhausted. And I'm not just talking tired. 82 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:12,520 I'm really not just talking tired here. I am talking. I feel like I could sleep for 83 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:19,680 a month, but I'm doing what I can to fight through that and keep going. Because I don't 84 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:25,600 want to give in. Okay, days like today, I've got to give in. And I have. I've had a day 85 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:31,280 today where I'm just going to sit around, sit on the sofa. I've come out to come and 86 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:40,080 do the podcast. But yeah, I'm just going to sit about and relax because I need to. That's 87 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:47,800 not me letting MS win. That's me saying to MS, all right, fair enough. Today's your day. 88 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:56,080 Tomorrow's going to be mine. So yeah, I mean, that's kind of where where that is. The numbness 89 00:10:56,080 --> 00:11:04,280 in my legs. That's again, it's not getting worse. It's not getting better. But it's it's 90 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:12,400 there. I mean, I can consistently not feel things. Well, you know what, I'm used to that. 91 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:18,240 I'll accept it. I like it, but I'll accept it. There's certain other bits and pieces. 92 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:24,360 I mean, I've started getting quite quite a lot of back pain, lower back pain. And it's 93 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:30,560 not the sort of back pain you think to yourself. Oh, I pulled a muscle or whatever else. No, 94 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:37,800 no, no, no, this is totally different. There's been a couple of times lately where I've had 95 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:47,320 a sort of sharp electric type pain in my lower back. And it's actually brought me to my knees. 96 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:56,280 It has made me go down on both knees and sort of try and get myself back up after a few 97 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:06,920 seconds because actually particularly painful, particularly painful. But again, I'm doing 98 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,160 what I can to try and fight through that. Yes, I'm still being naughty. I'm still not 99 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:17,360 using my sticks indoors and whatever else I know. I understand. I know I should be. 100 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:24,760 But if there's a wall for me to hold on to, I'm sure the wall's okay with it. I'm sure 101 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:31,760 it's not going to hurt the wall. But yes, I need to do it. I need to start using the 102 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:41,400 sticks indoors. I get it. I understand. It's just not easy to kind of give in to that. 103 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:49,480 Hashtag just saying. And now they've got a little nap flying around me. But yeah, I mean, 104 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:57,360 that's the sort of things I've got going on. At the moment, certain things are a struggle. 105 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:02,320 We've been doing some decorating indoors, trying to get the house ready to put on the 106 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:13,840 market. I'm ready for a possible move down to the South Coast. Now, I've not done massive 107 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:19,480 amounts of this stuff. The prep work, I've done a lot of sanding down and bits of painting 108 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:27,280 on the scaring balls, that sort of stuff. When I'm talking for tea, I'm talking this 109 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:34,760 has absolutely destroyed me. And trouble is what I've not been doing when I've been getting 110 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:43,600 tired from doing it. Actually, I've just been carrying on. I've not been letting myself 111 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:52,840 relax, which is fine. Which is fine. That's not a problem. Except the pain it brings afterwards. 112 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:58,880 And it ain't nice. It's absolutely awful. I'm going to be honest. It's very, very painful. 113 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:10,000 Okay. But yeah, I mean, it's particularly bad. It's very, very uncomfortable. The level 114 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:17,280 of discomfort is horrible and whatever else. But the work's needed doing so, you know, 115 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,920 I'll take it on the chin. That's my choice to carry on. And I'll do that. I'll continue 116 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:29,840 to do that while work needs doing. I will continue because actually at the moment, I've 117 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:43,280 got the time afterwards to recover. Like today. What I've got to say is my dad and Lisa mainly 118 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:50,120 have done the wallpapering on the landing stairs and the hallway. What a job they've 119 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:58,680 done. Absolutely different class. You know, my dad bless him, he's worked his backside 120 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:06,760 off and he's done an incredible job. Absolutely fantastic. I've had a little go. I put up 121 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:15,880 a couple of very small sheets of wallpaper. They were very small. And I'm not a decorator. 122 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:21,440 I'm definitely not. Certainly when it comes to wallpapering, I'm awful. But they come 123 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:28,000 out okay. I've kind of tried to learn a little bit because in all fairness, it doesn't hurt 124 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:35,600 to learn new things, does it? And I'm not that old that I can't learn stuff. I hope. 125 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:42,960 Don't think I'm that old. Do I look that old? Do I sound that old? Don't ask the kids 126 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:51,360 because their reply will be, you're ancient. Yeah, okay, I'm getting there. I'll be 40 127 00:15:51,360 --> 00:16:04,040 years old. It was only 10 minutes ago. I was like 16. Where does the time go? It's ridiculous. 128 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:15,720 But anyway, back on topic. It's been difficult trying to get all this stuff done. But actually 129 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:24,440 it's been really quite enjoyable. And looking at the final outcome of the walls is absolutely 130 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:30,120 fantastic. I can't compliment it any higher. I really can't. We've got people out in the 131 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:34,600 week. They're going to come and measure up for carpet. So hopefully we'll get the carpet 132 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:40,120 put down soon. And then it's just going to look fantastic. I've done a couple of grown 133 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:51,840 up bits. A bit of interior design. Yep, me, interior design. I bought some lampshades. 134 00:16:51,840 --> 00:17:00,040 They look quite good. Don't look bad at all. I've bought us a new banister for stairs. 135 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:05,400 That's not here yet. So that could still go wrong. Let's just, let's not get ahead of 136 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:11,720 ourselves on that. That could still go wrong. But I've also bought a shoe rack, which is 137 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:22,880 arriving tomorrow. That's coming flat pack. Yeah, yeah, that's coming flat pack. I'm glad 138 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:30,640 I've got people that know what they're doing because me and flat pack just know it doesn't 139 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:38,600 happen. I'm going to have a go, but it's probably not going to end particularly well. I'm going 140 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:46,360 to try though. I'm going to try my best. In terms of what else I've had going on, in all 141 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:56,720 fairness, not a great deal. If I'm honest, not a great deal. I've been signed off for 142 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:03,920 the next couple of months by my doctor from looking for work. Let's be totally honest, 143 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:08,320 there's a very good chance that's going to be a lot more than the next couple of months. 144 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:14,240 But I'm still, I want to get out there. I want to get into the working world. At the 145 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:21,360 moment, I think part time is probably going to be my best option. The way things are currently, 146 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:28,400 I think if I went full time, it could be a bit of a struggle. I don't think it would 147 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:36,520 be particularly easy, but I'll have a try. I'll have a try. Should I need to? I'll have 148 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:43,000 a try because again, and I've said this in different podcasts and it's something I will 149 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:58,640 continue to say, I am not going to give up. I will not give up. So bring it on. You know, 150 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:03,600 all these new challenges, just bring it on. There's going to be times I'm going to struggle. 151 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:12,000 I'm having those times from time to time now. So, you know, here's what it is. I will accept 152 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,720 those times. I will fight through those times. There will be days I'm going to lose. There's 153 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:23,720 going to be days I'm going to win. But overall, I'm going to be me because that's all I can 154 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:36,080 be. And me, I'm kind of fun. I would say I'm funny, but some people listening into this 155 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:42,560 podcast, they don't think I am funny. You know who you are. You know exactly who you 156 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:53,800 are. I'm funny. I'm sorry. It's true. I am funny. Well, at least I think so anyway. So 157 00:19:53,800 --> 00:20:02,040 just just don't just, no, stop it. Stop now. Stop saying, Mike, no, you're not funny. 158 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:08,600 Stop that up. And it's funny. The computer is bleeping at me again. Maybe the computer 159 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:20,720 is telling me I'm not funny. Maybe I just need to accept I'm funny. Anyway, anyway, 160 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:26,960 I think that will probably do for today. I am going to get back on with every single 161 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:33,280 week. There's going to be a minimum of one upload. That's that's going to happen. That 162 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:37,760 will be on a Monday, like usual. There is going to be times I'm going to try and put 163 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:45,200 out two podcasts a week. On all of my socials, I'm going to get back onto them. Get onto 164 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:50,240 some some live videos on them. The blog, I'm going to start keeping back up to date with 165 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:55,920 the blog. Because like I said at the start, I'm back, I've understood what's been going 166 00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:06,800 on. And I kind of Yeah, I can I can see why, if I'm honest. I can see why. Big changes 167 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:13,320 do tend to affect people. And yeah, I've gone through a few big changes in this last year. 168 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:20,920 I think it's time that I kind of move forward from them changes and create this this fresh 169 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:27,320 new start. Well, thank you all for listening. And what I will say to everyone that has been 170 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:33,320 downloading, while I've not actually been recording and putting out episodes, thank 171 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:43,320 you. You are all massively appreciated. Genuinely, genuinely appreciated. I hope you all have 172 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:51,320 a good time. And I will do my best and I will speak to you all very, very soon. Speak soon. 173 00:21:51,320 --> 00:22:14,320 Bye bye.