1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 Hello everyone, welcome back to my 35th episode. I still can't believe how quick we're getting 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:14,400 through all these to be honest with you, but we're getting there. I hope you've all had 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:22,920 a good week. As I said in my last podcast, I was taking a trip with the family down to 4 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:30,360 the South Coast in the week just gone. That's how I'm going to open today's show, I'm going 5 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:37,360 to talk about that a little bit. Because I know I've made mention in the past about as 6 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:49,040 a family we may look to make a move cross country down to the South Coast. Having gone 7 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:57,920 down having had a little look, it was only a little look, it was only one full day. But 8 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:06,680 I've got to say I fell in love with the place. I really did, it was absolutely beautiful. 9 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:18,680 The only problem, and it's quite a big problem, it's incredibly hilly. Now I've kind of shied 10 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:26,840 away from explaining the area that we're looking at going to. But I'll explain in a little 11 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:33,840 while why I'm going to actually mention the area. The place we're looking at was Plymouth 12 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:43,560 down on the South Coast. When I say it's hilly, it might as well be full of mountain ranges. 13 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:48,800 The area that we stayed in, the house that we stayed in, which I have to say the house 14 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:59,200 was absolutely gorgeous. It was beautiful. It wasn't easy to get to at all. There were 15 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:06,360 sort of spiral stairs at the back of the house to actually get into the part we were staying 16 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:13,840 in. Knew that anyway, it was all part and parcel of what was there for us to read before 17 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:19,880 booking. But funnily enough, I actually didn't find it too difficult getting up those stairs. 18 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:27,240 Yeah, I can't work out why. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy and it did hurt. But 19 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:35,440 actually in the grand scheme I thought it was going to be a lot tougher. But honestly 20 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:43,240 it's like mountain ranges in that area. It was really, really hilly. There is definitely, 21 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:52,640 when we are looking at houses, without a doubt research needs to be done to try and figure 22 00:02:52,640 --> 00:03:04,040 out if there's any parts of the city that are less hilly. Because being completely honest, 23 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:16,840 there is no way my mobility scooter is going to cope with the kind of inclines that it 24 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:23,960 would need to cope with should we look at houses in those areas. So again, it might 25 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:30,680 well be looking at houses outside of those areas with transport links to get in, that 26 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:39,720 sort of thing. But I will say, the actual city itself, we went to the shopping centre, 27 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:49,480 I think it's the main shopping centre, called Drake Circus. Oh it's lovely. Absolutely gorgeous, 28 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:56,520 really clean, nice shops and I will say the people, we didn't really have that much to 29 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:05,600 do with people but the very, very small section that we saw, they seemed lovely. Such nice 30 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:15,360 people. And just very quickly, just a little basic story, I'm sat in my wheelchair and 31 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:19,480 Lisa is pushing me in the shopping centre and we are coming towards the exit doors. 32 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:29,640 There's a young lad, probably going to say between 15 and 16 years old and he's in front, 33 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:39,920 he's going to go out the doors. Actually he went out of his way to hold one door open 34 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:44,680 and lean across to try and hold the second door open as well so that Lisa could push 35 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:55,560 me straight out. And again, naturally we said thank you and he was very, very polite. Very 36 00:04:55,560 --> 00:05:02,720 polite. It was really, really nice to see and to have that. So yeah, I mean that was 37 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:12,040 absolutely fantastic. So on first thoughts, absolutely fantastic, really, really nice 38 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:21,720 place. Seems at this point, very friendly and I've got to say this as well, on the 39 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:32,440 first proper day we were there, Lisa took some of the kids, all the kids, into Primark. 40 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:41,280 Yes, that's always something that's going to take a lot of time. So me, dad and my brother 41 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:50,600 Richard we stood outside and we stood around. Now I had my hoodie on promoting this podcast 42 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:55,040 and we just stood there, I mean I'm holding my wheelchair in case I need to sit down and 43 00:05:55,040 --> 00:06:03,400 whatever else. Now when we got back to the house we were staying in, I just did a little 44 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:09,800 check just to see how my downloads were going for the day. Now what I've got to say is 45 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:19,720 previous to that I'd never had any downloads from Plymouth. By the end of that day I'd 46 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:31,280 hit 119 downloads from Plymouth. Now there's got to be a reason for that. I don't for 47 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:39,520 one second think that that's just pop luck. Maybe people had seen my jumper and then 48 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:46,200 jumped on and had a listen. So if you are one of those people and you're listening in, 49 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:51,960 thank you, thank you very much, I appreciate you jumping on and having a listen. I will 50 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:58,360 try and keep you as entertained as possible. I am going to do lots and lots of talking 51 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:08,160 about my MS, how I'm handling that sort of thing but I'm also going to try and be fun. 52 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:13,420 If you've got any questions by all means nip across to my website, there's a section 53 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:21,760 on there, pop a question down and I will do the best I can to answer that question on 54 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:32,040 any upcoming shows. As it stands at the moment shows are released on Mondays but now that 55 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:41,080 I am not currently working, I've said it previously and I will say it to anybody new listening, 56 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:47,000 I am seriously considering going to two shows a week but that depends on what you all want 57 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:53,480 to hear. If you want to hear my voice twice a week, I'm not sure I'd want to to be fair 58 00:07:53,480 --> 00:08:00,480 but if you want to I'm more than happy to do so. But yeah, I mean that's really sort 59 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:10,640 of how the trip down went. I've got to mention the weather was atrocious, it was awful, I 60 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:17,920 believe, excuse me if I get the name wrong, but I believe it was called Storm Noah. Yeah, 61 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:25,360 the rain and the wind was absolutely unreal, it was crazy. But you know what, from my point 62 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:34,240 of view it didn't really dampen things down. Get it? Didn't dampen things down, no, yes, 63 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:44,560 me, on my own. But yeah, no, it didn't make for a terrible time. I thoroughly enjoyed 64 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:48,800 it and as I say one of the reasons we went down was really to sort of have a bit of a 65 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:55,840 look around the area and get some thought processes on where we could potentially look 66 00:08:55,840 --> 00:09:05,640 at houses. At least we now know we've got to research some flatter areas. Because being, 67 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:12,600 I'm going to say selfish but I don't mean selfish if that makes any sense to anyone. 68 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:23,800 I don't want to go somewhere and be trapped because I can't get around. I mean I wouldn't 69 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:32,360 expect anyone really that has never been to that area to just go there and start walking 70 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:37,800 up and down these hills and whatever. So to do it in a mobility scooter that travels at 71 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:45,920 four mile an hour, it just isn't going to happen. It hasn't got the power to get up 72 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:57,560 and to safely work its way down. A bit of water, a bit of ice. Yeah, actually that might 73 00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:06,160 be quite amusing for my TikTok channel, right, because that could be fun for people to watch. 74 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:13,560 It wouldn't be fun for me to actually be involved in. But for everyone else it could be entertaining. 75 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:17,560 But yeah, I mean that's how the trip went. It was fantastic. It was really, really nice 76 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:25,000 to spend time with a family. I enjoyed that massively. In fact that's an understatement. 77 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:34,440 It was brilliant. And again I have to say to those that rented out the house to us, 78 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:41,880 it was beautiful. Absolutely loved it. The view from the back of the house. Absolutely 79 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:47,280 stunning. I'd be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with it because I did. It was 80 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:59,200 lovely. Absolutely fantastic. So yeah, I mean, there's that. It made it nice. But yeah, I 81 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,320 mean that's as far as I'm going to go with that for the time being. So thank you to anyone 82 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:13,800 that downloaded Noo that maybe saw my jumper and had a little listen. I'll do what I can. 83 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:22,320 Don't get me wrong, I'm not the most entertaining person in the world, but I try my best. For 84 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:32,080 those of you that are watching on YouTube, you will notice that behind me the green screen 85 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:41,160 has gone. The reason for that, and I'm going to be brutally honest, it wasn't worth the 86 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:49,680 effort. Every time I come out to come and record, it was taking me at least an hour 87 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:56,940 just to get the green screen to a reasonable position where it wasn't showing too much 88 00:11:56,940 --> 00:12:02,280 through the pictures and whatever else and getting the lighting correct and everything 89 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:09,380 else. It just isn't worth it. It just isn't worth it. It's not worth the effort because 90 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:18,320 in all fairness, for those looking, you can see I've got my MS Society t-shirt with my 91 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:31,440 two medals up there from the two walks I've done. The other side of me I've got the certificate 92 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:40,040 there from our walk we did in London. And then I've got white walls and the green door. 93 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:48,360 You know what, I'm not here to look pretty behind me, I'm here to talk about my life 94 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:58,120 with MS and my life as it is and try and be entertaining and looking at fancy pictures 95 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:04,840 behind me. Personally I don't see that as necessary because I'm going to be totally 96 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:11,640 honest because I have to be. I've actually fallen out of love a little bit with coming 97 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:19,960 out and doing these podcasts because of that green screen. All of the effort that it takes 98 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:29,760 to get that just reasonable is frustrating. It makes me quite angry actually at times 99 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:40,520 which I don't like. I'm here to get my story out. I'm here to talk to you all about how 100 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:50,000 I'm coping, what I'm doing with this absolutely evil condition. And at the moment I'm going 101 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:59,000 to say this condition is evil. You know when we were down south I made a point for the 102 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:06,440 couple of days worth walking around I really slogged my guts out. I know I shouldn't have 103 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:11,800 done but I thought why not have a try. I had my wheelchair and I did use my wheelchair 104 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:22,760 quite a bit but I also did as much walking as I could handle. Yesterday that kind of 105 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:29,440 all came home to roost a little bit because I was in absolute agony. I didn't feel right. 106 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:38,200 I didn't feel ok at all. I actually had a fall getting out of bed yesterday. I got out 107 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:45,040 of bed, I went to take a step forward and it felt like my legs, and I mean legs not 108 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:53,320 just one of them, were not there. So I actually fell and I did bash my head on the bottom 109 00:14:53,320 --> 00:15:01,600 of the wardrobe a little bit and thankfully Lisa heard. She came up, she helped me up 110 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:12,920 and whatever else. But that wasn't nice at all. So yeah it took it out. I mean again 111 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:20,320 this is where I have to learn. No matter how I feel, I can feel incredible. I've got to 112 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:26,400 start being sensible, I've got to start using my brain a little bit and start thinking. 113 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:36,800 It's all well and good feeling. It's good but actually if I overdo it that feeling good 114 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:45,720 is going to become gone very fast. So yeah I suffered from that. And on top of that I've 115 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:52,400 actually noticed something over the last two days since yesterday and today. And it's happened 116 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:58,400 actually a few times. More so when I'm feeling a little bit stressed over stuff. I'll explain 117 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:11,920 in a minute what I'm feeling stressed over. But I go to speak, nothing comes out. I don't 118 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:19,200 quite know exactly how to explain it. It's like I want to get the words out, I know I'm 119 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:24,280 trying to talk and it only literally stays like it for maybe a second, maybe two seconds 120 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:34,480 tops but you can't speak. You literally can't speak. And actually it's been quite frightening 121 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:41,440 the last couple of days because that is totally new. I've not had that before. So I don't 122 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:48,400 quite understand what's going on with it. I'm going to be keeping a very close eye on 123 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:56,080 it. I'm going to get myself back to a good level where I'm trying not to get too stressed. 124 00:16:56,080 --> 00:17:00,120 But yeah that's one that if it continues for too long I'm going to have to get in touch 125 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:08,520 with me MS nurse and try and have a conversation. Because it's actually really not good at all. 126 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:18,000 And yeah it's frightening me. The last couple of days I've been a little bit scared of that. 127 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:23,080 Maybe it's something or nothing and it's just where I'm a little bit tired and run down. 128 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:31,440 But we'll see. We'll see. In terms of the reason for me feeling a bit stressed, it's 129 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:45,160 no secret I've made it very very aware to everyone that I'm no longer working. I'd say 130 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:53,960 for 20 years I've been in the security industry. 7 years and 10-11 months I've been in the 131 00:17:53,960 --> 00:18:05,120 current job. That job is no longer there. I'm not doing that job now. So I've been putting 132 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:13,400 myself about applying for a lot of different jobs. I'm very very aware that in terms of 133 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:20,840 front line security work that's done. That's finished. I'm never going to be doing that 134 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:29,400 again. But in terms of doing things like CCTV monitoring and that sort of stuff I can do 135 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:36,640 that. Not a problem. But yeah over the last few days I've got to be 25-30 jobs I've applied 136 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:48,880 for. Some work from home jobs. Some actually working out with real people. So we'll have 137 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:54,680 to see what happens. Hopefully something comes up because yeah I'm going to be straight even 138 00:18:54,680 --> 00:19:01,220 at this early stage I am really really really worrying about being out of work. It's scaring 139 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:07,280 the life out of me. I don't like it. I want to work. I know I'm capable of working. I 140 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:13,280 know on a physical sense moving around and stuff is not necessarily something I can do. 141 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:22,640 It doesn't mean I can't do anything. I'm capable. I'm there. I'm available. It's what I want 142 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:32,400 to do. I want to be out in the working world. What I've got to say I've written down little 143 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:41,880 bits and pieces for me to talk about on the show today. And one of the bits I've put down 144 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:50,360 is about it's time for me to find ways of turning these negatives around a little bit 145 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:57,160 because as I say the being out of work stuff is the biggest negative I've got right now. 146 00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:05,280 And the thought of it is absolutely it's killing me. It's genuinely killing me but I've got 147 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:10,920 to start turning that into something that I can deal with. Now there's ways and means 148 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:20,800 of doing that and this podcast is one of them. And what I will say as I've mentioned that 149 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:28,800 green screen really took the love away a bit from the podcast. Sitting here now without 150 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:34,160 that green screen not having to worry about oh is it breaking up or whatever else. I'm 151 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:40,480 loving it again. I'm really enjoying it. I'm sitting here and I'm enjoying getting thoughts 152 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:51,420 out explaining what's going on. Actually I'm happy to be doing this. So that's a positive. 153 00:20:51,420 --> 00:20:59,120 We should be getting close to a point where the weather is turning in a good way. So I 154 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:05,240 am planning on getting back out in the garden because the wind has taken its toll on the 155 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:11,360 garden a little bit. I think there's bits and pieces that I need to put back together. 156 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:18,960 There's some plants that need to be replaced. I'm going to replace them. Yep you heard it 157 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:24,120 here first folks. There's some plants that need to be replaced and I'm going to replace 158 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:30,960 them. Because even if we move let's be totally straight we're not going to be moved before. 159 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:40,480 Best Christmas at best. So I'm going to enjoy my garden while I've got it. And if that means 160 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:48,120 I've got to plant more stuff I'm going to plant more stuff. Because I can. Yep I said 161 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:58,280 it. Because I can. But yeah there's other things that I need to do as well. I'm going 162 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:06,160 to be continuing to fight to find work. Because I need to be in the working world. I can't 163 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:15,200 help that it's just who I am. I'm going to start working a lot harder with my social 164 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:22,440 media channels and the website. Because certainly the social media channels over the last probably 165 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:28,960 month I've really slowed down on that. And again I think a lot of that's to do with all 166 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:38,880 the issues I've been dealing with and the stress of work. Well now I know where I am 167 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:48,040 with that. It's time to start getting back involved a little bit. Because the MS community 168 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:56,080 online is absolutely superb. And again I've said this previously. It is superb there is 169 00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:02,240 always somebody there to help somebody to talk to even if you just need to get stuff 170 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:11,240 off your chest. It's there. You can do it. So in all fairness I need to get back. I need 171 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:17,360 to get back to that because again I enjoyed it. Really really enjoyed it. And again not 172 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:20,480 everything on there is going to be MS based. I'm going to have a laugh. I'm going to do 173 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:26,960 some of these little challengey things that people do. Anything like that. Anything like 174 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:38,680 that. I've started doing live streaming on Twitch. Streaming Fortnite. Because actually 175 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:48,120 I quite enjoy playing Fortnite. It kind of gives me something to concentrate on. It gives 176 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:55,720 me something to look at. To sort of try and switch my brain off again from the negatives. 177 00:23:55,720 --> 00:24:02,640 And it gives me something to focus on. And actually streaming it. You know again it's 178 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:13,760 a bit of fun. Nothing major. I'm no professional. I'm nothing major. I'm just a person that 179 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:22,840 enjoys doing something. That's all it is. And yeah it's a community game. Just a bit 180 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:29,280 of fun. That's all it is. It's just a bit of fun. Well at the moment that's what I need 181 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:35,320 in life is a bit of fun. I need a bit of enjoyment. I need a bit of happy. And a bit of calm. 182 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:44,560 And I'm going to make that happen. Because quite honestly at the moment stress is giving 183 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:52,520 me an absolute kicking. It really is. It's giving me a kicking. Whether that be pains. 184 00:24:52,520 --> 00:25:00,920 Whether that be the water drop on the top of my head. Whether it be the foot drop. There 185 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:07,120 was just so many different things at the moment that are causing big issues. I've got to 186 00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:13,560 start turning that around a little bit. And the only person that can do that is me. I'm 187 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:20,880 going to make it happen. I've said that a few times today. I'm going to make it happen. 188 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:29,240 But I think that will do for today. I'm going to consider doing a second podcast this week. 189 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:36,360 By all means jump onto the website. Let me know if you want me to do more than one podcast 190 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:42,280 a week. Because I'm happy to do so. At some point in the very near future I'd like to 191 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:50,160 be able to learn to talk to other people on these podcasts as well. That may take me a 192 00:25:50,160 --> 00:26:00,520 bit of time. Because I'm not very technology minded. I'm just me. I'm just average. As 193 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:08,480 you can see or hear or whatever else. I'm just average. But I'll try my best. Well I 194 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:13,280 hope you all have a really good week. And I very much look forward to speaking to you 195 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:20,440 all again soon. Speak soon. Bye bye.