1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,240 Hello and welcome back to the next episode on the show today. Not a massive amount I'm 2 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:15,840 going to be talking about, I'm going to be going into bits of conversations in regards 3 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:23,240 to what I've had going on for the last week and just basically a bit of general chit chat 4 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:31,520 because I think at times I tend to try and be a bit too serious. So today I want to be 5 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:38,680 a bit more fun, a bit more lively and just have a bit of a chuckle and try and show the 6 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:45,400 fun side a little bit. What I will say is a massive welcome back to you all over the 7 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:54,600 last week. I'll be honest with you, it's been an awful lot of new downloads. I'm quite proud 8 00:00:54,600 --> 00:01:03,560 to say I've finally gone over the thousand downloads across all episodes and across all 9 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:10,280 areas. So yeah, I'll be honest with you, that's a bit of a milestone that's been achieved 10 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:17,080 that actually I'm really quite proud of, quite pleased with. So yeah, thank you because quite 11 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:24,400 honestly without everyone listening it's a milestone that's never ever going to get achieved. 12 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:33,240 So thank you all for listening. What I will say is, it was actually today, today is Saturday, 13 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:41,360 I went on to TikTok and did a live video. Which is something I'm a bit nervous of, I 14 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:45,840 must admit, I don't know why but yeah, I find it a bit nerve wracking doing the old live 15 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:52,600 videos. It went really, really well. I had some brilliant conversations with some fantastic 16 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:58,880 people and I'll be honest, it's something that I'm going to look to do quite a bit more 17 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:07,680 often because actually I found it quite helpful to have that communication, that chat and 18 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:17,440 just understand what other people have got going on. Because let's be honest, one of 19 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:25,760 the reasons I created all of this new stuff, like the podcast, the website, all the social 20 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:35,000 medias was to sort of just get my story out to try and help others kind of see how things 21 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:40,920 are for themselves. And actually we really do seem to be getting somewhere with that 22 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:46,000 and I'll be honest, it's something I'm incredibly proud of. So yeah, I'm going to try and get 23 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:53,880 on the old live videos quite a bit more often, see if we can get the word out, see if there's 24 00:02:53,880 --> 00:03:04,640 anyone that wants to talk or anything else in terms of just pursuing the help aspect. 25 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:13,840 This week I actually had an email from a TV station in the United States, not as far as 26 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:21,180 I'm aware, it's not a main TV station, but asking me if I wouldn't mind going on to do 27 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:30,640 a live interview. Unfortunately I'm actually working that day, so I'm really gutted because 28 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:38,400 again as nervy as that would have been, actually I really would have liked to do that. I'll 29 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:44,960 be honest with you, I'm gutted that I can't. So yeah, that's one of those that sort of, 30 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:51,960 I suppose it comes along and if you're available, you're available, if you're not, you're not. 31 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,880 So yeah, just one of those things, but yeah, gutted because I'd be honest, I'd love to 32 00:03:55,880 --> 00:04:01,640 have done that. That would have been something I would have, for want of a better term, I'd 33 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:11,840 have ripped their arm off for. But yeah, unfortunately not able to, which is a shame. I've spent 34 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:22,680 a bit of time this week trying to learn the editing aspect of things on the new old laptop. 35 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:28,920 So I picked that laptop up second hand and I'm finding it difficult, I'll be honest with 36 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:36,440 you. It's like Mensa grade stuff, it really is not easy at all. But I'm going to persevere 37 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:43,440 with it. I'm going to carry on going and see if we can figure out how to do it. For those 38 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:51,120 watching on YouTube, we'll see that I'm actually indoors today. I'm not sat in the studio, 39 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:56,920 the brick shed, studio, brick shed. It's just a brick shed. That's all it is. Yep, said 40 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,360 it a million times, it's just a brick shed. But yeah, what I'd like to do is get a green 41 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:08,000 screen and put that behind me. And for those on YouTube, just sort of give you something 42 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:15,120 a bit different to look at rather than just the walls of the shed. But as I say, I'm finding 43 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:20,560 that quite difficult. But at some point I'll figure it out. I'll get there. Not going to 44 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:32,200 give up. I will carry on. In terms of the MS side of things, it's been a tough week. 45 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:38,880 It has actually been quite a tough week. I've struggled as this week I've been recovering 46 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:49,280 from my second half bag of vlockrovas. What I will say is it went absolutely fantastic. 47 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:54,160 No reactions, nothing this time. It literally just flew through. I'll be honest with you, 48 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:58,680 the day went so quick it's unreal. I'm sat there and before I know it, I mean I was in 49 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:03,520 there for eight o'clock. Before I knew it, it was sort of past 10, 11 o'clock and I'm 50 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:10,400 thinking not long to go now. But yeah, no, it actually went really, really well. But 51 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:15,520 yeah, it did wipe me out actually this time. I've got to say that. I was tired after the 52 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:22,280 first one. So after this half, I was absolutely exhausted. I'll be honest, I'm still tired 53 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:32,840 now. Really struggling with the tiredness, fatigue aspect. But I'm trying to carry on 54 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:39,840 going as best as possible. Having a nap when it's necessary. It's quite necessary, quite 55 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:45,720 a bit, I'll be honest with you. But yeah, I've been sleeping as much as I possibly can. I'm 56 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:54,080 back to work tomorrow, which means I can't sleep. But hopefully, it's best part of a 57 00:06:54,080 --> 00:07:00,400 week since the treatment. So hopefully I should be at about a point where I can stay awake 58 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:08,920 for a few hours. But we'll see. Yeah, I mean in terms of sort of pains and aches and whatever 59 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:17,360 else, I've noticed I'm getting a lot of spasms in my right leg. If I sit down for too long 60 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:25,440 and I get up, my right leg is sort of all over the place, if I'm honest. And it takes 61 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:34,920 a bit of time, quite a bit of time to right itself, which is, it's a bit disconcerting 62 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:42,400 because in all fairness, it's not necessarily new, but it's happening a lot more than it 63 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:48,400 previously did. It's quite regular. I'm having it a little bit in the left leg as well, but 64 00:07:48,400 --> 00:08:00,200 not quite as much. The hug aspect, the MS hug aspect, again, to be fair, that's, it's 65 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:05,720 kind of staying at a bit of a constant, but instead of where it's sort of, it would never 66 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:10,240 fully go away, but it would be there and it would ease off for a few days. That's not 67 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:16,200 really happening now. It's not really easing off. Don't get me wrong, the painkillers are 68 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:27,240 taking a help in a bit, but they're not helping massively. You know, again, that sort of thing 69 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:34,840 that for want of a better term, I've got to get used to. I've got to find a way of living 70 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:41,880 alongside that, which I'm doing. Yeah, I'm doing, I'm kind of used to it, to be honest 71 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:49,440 with you. In terms of the sort of electric shock type pains I get, yeah, I mean, that's 72 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:55,400 still happening quite a lot. It's really strange because they just sort of ping all over the 73 00:08:55,400 --> 00:09:05,080 place. And I've, the term zingers, they don't sort of just come, they'll sort of zap mainly 74 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:10,560 through my legs, mainly through my legs, but I'm having them a little bit in my back now 75 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:19,880 and then. But yeah, I mean, that's the sort of thing. It's coming and going, but it's 76 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:28,120 kind of relatively constant in my right leg, mainly, I'll be honest, mainly my right leg, 77 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:34,840 but yeah, it's happening in my left as well. I've noticed from time to time over the last 78 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:44,280 24 hours, actually, my left arm, it actually shakes quite a bit, which is a bit odd. It 79 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:49,200 doesn't make a lot of sense, I'll be honest with you. But yeah, I mean, that's one of 80 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:55,520 those things. It could be MS related, it might not be. I honestly don't know because that's 81 00:09:55,520 --> 00:10:01,320 something a bit different. It could be where I've just sort of been sat resting on it or 82 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:09,120 whatever else. So that's one I'm just going to keep an eye on and see how that goes. Memory 83 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:16,440 wise, it's been pretty bad actually this week. At times I'm really kind of struggling with 84 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:23,280 the memory aspect. It's not great at all. I'll be honest, it's really not great. I'm 85 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:28,120 forgetting things quite regularly. But again, I'm wondering if that could be where I've 86 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:34,240 got I've got a lot in my mind. I really have, as I said, this is work related stuff that 87 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:39,680 at the moment I can't talk about. I'm going to talk about them at some point in the future. 88 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:45,600 Don't panic. That is one thing that I will discuss and I will discuss at great length, 89 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,800 but currently, yeah, I can't really go into too much detail on that. But I think that 90 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:58,160 could be having some sort of impact on the memory aspect because yeah, I'm kind of thinking 91 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:06,760 about that quite a bit. Yeah, I mean, that really is kind of where I am currently with 92 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:15,400 things. Struggling is an understatement, but fighting isn't. I am absolutely there and 93 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:22,360 I'm fighting away and I will continue to do so. Twice this week, I've actually had meetings 94 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:31,720 with some medical teams that are doing sort of testing and whatever else on different 95 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:38,640 aspects of medical studies on different aspects of MS. One of them is the emotional side of 96 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:45,600 things. I had a really good meeting with regards to that. Come up with some brilliant plans 97 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:49,360 for the emotional side because again, I'll be honest with you, I've been struggling with 98 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:58,040 that quite a bit recently. I've been having a lot of thoughts of why me, why this, all 99 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:05,120 the rest of it. And actually, the conversation I had with that, brilliant, absolutely brilliant, 100 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:10,000 absolutely fantastic and has actually given me some really good tools to try and fight 101 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:17,600 back in that respect. In terms of the other medical study, that was really difficult. 102 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:22,640 It's actually to do with the memory aspect of things and I'm sort of sitting there, the 103 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:31,760 testing aspect of it and I'm being read a story and I've got to try and tell the story 104 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:39,240 back word for word. Yeah, I'll be honest with you, I couldn't have been much further wrong 105 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:49,520 if I tried. It was not easy at all. It was really quite difficult and in all fairness, 106 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:58,400 it kind of made me go, yeah, actually I'm not wrong, my memory is a bit poop to say 107 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:02,440 the very, very least. But yeah, I'll be honest, again, that was really, really good, thoroughly 108 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:09,560 enjoyed it. All that sort of helping aspect of stuff. It's something that I'm actually 109 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:15,720 quite enjoying doing. I'm quite proud of the fact I'm doing because don't get me wrong, 110 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:23,920 I know one person ain't going to change the world. I'm not that crazy. But if more people 111 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:29,840 are able to help with this sort of stuff, maybe, maybe just maybe one day there will 112 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:42,640 be ways that we can kind of make things not quite so bad because, I've said it a million 113 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:49,840 times, this condition is evil. It's genuinely evil. It's insidious. It's just, yeah, it's 114 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:58,440 just horrible. It's just horrible. And in all truth, hopefully in the future there can 115 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:05,120 be ways and means of making it, I'm going to use the word tolerable, but it's never 116 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:16,920 going to be tolerable, making it a bit less of a difficult thing. Hopefully there's treatments 117 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:23,560 and whatever else that can help. And again, I don't expect that to be any time soon. You're 118 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:30,680 beautiful if it was. It would be absolutely fantastic. But let's be honest, it probably 119 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:40,000 isn't going to be. But we've got fingers crossed. Absolute fingers crossed. Well, once again, 120 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:47,400 a massive thank you for listening. Again, I mean, this is a bit more of an old school 121 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:52,160 episode where I'm just sort of sat putting my thoughts out because in all fairness, I 122 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:58,880 actually quite enjoy that. I do quite enjoy that. Just sitting, talking into a microphone 123 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:04,360 and just sort of getting the thoughts in my head out into the world. Because if they're 124 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:10,320 out of my head, maybe just maybe somewhere down the line, they're going to help someone. 125 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:16,600 Well, I hope you all have an absolutely fantastic week and I will look forward to talking to 126 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:35,000 you all again soon. Bye bye.