Hello and welcome back to the next episode on the show today. Not a massive amount I'm
going to be talking about, I'm going to be going into bits of conversations in regards
to what I've had going on for the last week and just basically a bit of general chit chat
because I think at times I tend to try and be a bit too serious. So today I want to be
a bit more fun, a bit more lively and just have a bit of a chuckle and try and show the
fun side a little bit. What I will say is a massive welcome back to you all over the
last week. I'll be honest with you, it's been an awful lot of new downloads. I'm quite proud
to say I've finally gone over the thousand downloads across all episodes and across all
areas. So yeah, I'll be honest with you, that's a bit of a milestone that's been achieved
that actually I'm really quite proud of, quite pleased with. So yeah, thank you because quite
honestly without everyone listening it's a milestone that's never ever going to get achieved.
So thank you all for listening. What I will say is, it was actually today, today is Saturday,
I went on to TikTok and did a live video. Which is something I'm a bit nervous of, I
must admit, I don't know why but yeah, I find it a bit nerve wracking doing the old live
videos. It went really, really well. I had some brilliant conversations with some fantastic
people and I'll be honest, it's something that I'm going to look to do quite a bit more
often because actually I found it quite helpful to have that communication, that chat and
just understand what other people have got going on. Because let's be honest, one of
the reasons I created all of this new stuff, like the podcast, the website, all the social
medias was to sort of just get my story out to try and help others kind of see how things
are for themselves. And actually we really do seem to be getting somewhere with that
and I'll be honest, it's something I'm incredibly proud of. So yeah, I'm going to try and get
on the old live videos quite a bit more often, see if we can get the word out, see if there's
anyone that wants to talk or anything else in terms of just pursuing the help aspect.
This week I actually had an email from a TV station in the United States, not as far as
I'm aware, it's not a main TV station, but asking me if I wouldn't mind going on to do
a live interview. Unfortunately I'm actually working that day, so I'm really gutted because
again as nervy as that would have been, actually I really would have liked to do that. I'll
be honest with you, I'm gutted that I can't. So yeah, that's one of those that sort of,
I suppose it comes along and if you're available, you're available, if you're not, you're not.
So yeah, just one of those things, but yeah, gutted because I'd be honest, I'd love to
have done that. That would have been something I would have, for want of a better term, I'd
have ripped their arm off for. But yeah, unfortunately not able to, which is a shame. I've spent
a bit of time this week trying to learn the editing aspect of things on the new old laptop.
So I picked that laptop up second hand and I'm finding it difficult, I'll be honest with
you. It's like Mensa grade stuff, it really is not easy at all. But I'm going to persevere
with it. I'm going to carry on going and see if we can figure out how to do it. For those
watching on YouTube, we'll see that I'm actually indoors today. I'm not sat in the studio,
the brick shed, studio, brick shed. It's just a brick shed. That's all it is. Yep, said
it a million times, it's just a brick shed. But yeah, what I'd like to do is get a green
screen and put that behind me. And for those on YouTube, just sort of give you something
a bit different to look at rather than just the walls of the shed. But as I say, I'm finding
that quite difficult. But at some point I'll figure it out. I'll get there. Not going to
give up. I will carry on. In terms of the MS side of things, it's been a tough week.
It has actually been quite a tough week. I've struggled as this week I've been recovering
from my second half bag of vlockrovas. What I will say is it went absolutely fantastic.
No reactions, nothing this time. It literally just flew through. I'll be honest with you,
the day went so quick it's unreal. I'm sat there and before I know it, I mean I was in
there for eight o'clock. Before I knew it, it was sort of past 10, 11 o'clock and I'm
thinking not long to go now. But yeah, no, it actually went really, really well. But
yeah, it did wipe me out actually this time. I've got to say that. I was tired after the
first one. So after this half, I was absolutely exhausted. I'll be honest, I'm still tired
now. Really struggling with the tiredness, fatigue aspect. But I'm trying to carry on
going as best as possible. Having a nap when it's necessary. It's quite necessary, quite
a bit, I'll be honest with you. But yeah, I've been sleeping as much as I possibly can. I'm
back to work tomorrow, which means I can't sleep. But hopefully, it's best part of a
week since the treatment. So hopefully I should be at about a point where I can stay awake
for a few hours. But we'll see. Yeah, I mean in terms of sort of pains and aches and whatever
else, I've noticed I'm getting a lot of spasms in my right leg. If I sit down for too long
and I get up, my right leg is sort of all over the place, if I'm honest. And it takes
a bit of time, quite a bit of time to right itself, which is, it's a bit disconcerting
because in all fairness, it's not necessarily new, but it's happening a lot more than it
previously did. It's quite regular. I'm having it a little bit in the left leg as well, but
not quite as much. The hug aspect, the MS hug aspect, again, to be fair, that's, it's
kind of staying at a bit of a constant, but instead of where it's sort of, it would never
fully go away, but it would be there and it would ease off for a few days. That's not
really happening now. It's not really easing off. Don't get me wrong, the painkillers are
taking a help in a bit, but they're not helping massively. You know, again, that sort of thing
that for want of a better term, I've got to get used to. I've got to find a way of living
alongside that, which I'm doing. Yeah, I'm doing, I'm kind of used to it, to be honest
with you. In terms of the sort of electric shock type pains I get, yeah, I mean, that's
still happening quite a lot. It's really strange because they just sort of ping all over the
place. And I've, the term zingers, they don't sort of just come, they'll sort of zap mainly
through my legs, mainly through my legs, but I'm having them a little bit in my back now
and then. But yeah, I mean, that's the sort of thing. It's coming and going, but it's
kind of relatively constant in my right leg, mainly, I'll be honest, mainly my right leg,
but yeah, it's happening in my left as well. I've noticed from time to time over the last
24 hours, actually, my left arm, it actually shakes quite a bit, which is a bit odd. It
doesn't make a lot of sense, I'll be honest with you. But yeah, I mean, that's one of
those things. It could be MS related, it might not be. I honestly don't know because that's
something a bit different. It could be where I've just sort of been sat resting on it or
whatever else. So that's one I'm just going to keep an eye on and see how that goes. Memory
wise, it's been pretty bad actually this week. At times I'm really kind of struggling with
the memory aspect. It's not great at all. I'll be honest, it's really not great. I'm
forgetting things quite regularly. But again, I'm wondering if that could be where I've
got I've got a lot in my mind. I really have, as I said, this is work related stuff that
at the moment I can't talk about. I'm going to talk about them at some point in the future.
Don't panic. That is one thing that I will discuss and I will discuss at great length,
but currently, yeah, I can't really go into too much detail on that. But I think that
could be having some sort of impact on the memory aspect because yeah, I'm kind of thinking
about that quite a bit. Yeah, I mean, that really is kind of where I am currently with
things. Struggling is an understatement, but fighting isn't. I am absolutely there and
I'm fighting away and I will continue to do so. Twice this week, I've actually had meetings
with some medical teams that are doing sort of testing and whatever else on different
aspects of medical studies on different aspects of MS. One of them is the emotional side of
things. I had a really good meeting with regards to that. Come up with some brilliant plans
for the emotional side because again, I'll be honest with you, I've been struggling with
that quite a bit recently. I've been having a lot of thoughts of why me, why this, all
the rest of it. And actually, the conversation I had with that, brilliant, absolutely brilliant,
absolutely fantastic and has actually given me some really good tools to try and fight
back in that respect. In terms of the other medical study, that was really difficult.
It's actually to do with the memory aspect of things and I'm sort of sitting there, the
testing aspect of it and I'm being read a story and I've got to try and tell the story
back word for word. Yeah, I'll be honest with you, I couldn't have been much further wrong
if I tried. It was not easy at all. It was really quite difficult and in all fairness,
it kind of made me go, yeah, actually I'm not wrong, my memory is a bit poop to say
the very, very least. But yeah, I'll be honest, again, that was really, really good, thoroughly
enjoyed it. All that sort of helping aspect of stuff. It's something that I'm actually
quite enjoying doing. I'm quite proud of the fact I'm doing because don't get me wrong,
I know one person ain't going to change the world. I'm not that crazy. But if more people
are able to help with this sort of stuff, maybe, maybe just maybe one day there will
be ways that we can kind of make things not quite so bad because, I've said it a million
times, this condition is evil. It's genuinely evil. It's insidious. It's just, yeah, it's
just horrible. It's just horrible. And in all truth, hopefully in the future there can
be ways and means of making it, I'm going to use the word tolerable, but it's never
going to be tolerable, making it a bit less of a difficult thing. Hopefully there's treatments
and whatever else that can help. And again, I don't expect that to be any time soon. You're
beautiful if it was. It would be absolutely fantastic. But let's be honest, it probably
isn't going to be. But we've got fingers crossed. Absolute fingers crossed. Well, once again,
a massive thank you for listening. Again, I mean, this is a bit more of an old school
episode where I'm just sort of sat putting my thoughts out because in all fairness, I
actually quite enjoy that. I do quite enjoy that. Just sitting, talking into a microphone
and just sort of getting the thoughts in my head out into the world. Because if they're
out of my head, maybe just maybe somewhere down the line, they're going to help someone.
Well, I hope you all have an absolutely fantastic week and I will look forward to talking to
you all again soon. Bye bye.