Hello, welcome to the next episode of my podcast. I hope you've all had a good week. I hope
it's been as good as it can possibly be for you. My week's been a bit hit and miss, I've
got to be honest. It's not been the best, probably not been the worst either. On today's
show, it's going to be a bit of a different show today. I've got a bit of a, I'm going
to call it a treat for you all but it probably isn't, I've written another poem. Anyone that
is on my social media accounts or my YouTube will have seen it. This poem is called I Won't
Quit. I've also put up the poem on my website which is Mike'sMSJourney.com. Please pop
over there. I will say somehow I've managed to put all the links to my social media accounts
actually on that website as well. So all you've got to do is click on the little picture for
the social media and you can find yourself there. Come and join me and you'll see what
other bits and pieces I've got going on. I've also on today's show going to talk very briefly
about a neurology appointment that I've got booked and back end of the show today, I'm
going to do some straight talking. I know around Christmas time I did an episode that
was very much straight talking. It really was a case of me laying things bare. Yeah,
I'm afraid to an extent I need to do that again on today's show. There's some real
straight talking as I've said, some real onesties and there's some bits and pieces I've got
to get off my chest. So I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of
you again. I know I do that on every show. There's a reason for that because actually
I am incredibly grateful for you all listening. I really am because I've said it a million
times I'm going to say it again. I'm sitting here in my shed, brick shed, you know, we've
painted the walls and I've got my shirt up with my medal from the MS Society Walk last
year. I've got my certificate on the wall for it. Other than that, it's just normal
shed stuff sitting here. I sit here and I talk into my microphone, I talk into my phone
and you know what, just talking to you all actually really helps me. And again, I hope
it helps even just one of you, genuinely just one of you. If it does, yeah, in which case
that actually puts a massive smile on my face. Okay, well as I said, I'm going to start
today by reading you my new poem. As I say, I entitled this poem, I Won't Quit, because
no matter what, no matter what you hear from me, I'm not going to quit. I'm going to continue
to fight because that's all I know. I don't know how to give up. No matter what, no matter
what goes on, giving up is not going to happen. There will be days and there has been days
where I am really struggling. I still ain't going to give up. So, please bear with me.
Here comes. Well, here we are, MS. Yesterday, today and a couple of weeks gone by. You've
had your way. Pains, aches, aches and pains. Oh, don't forget the tiredness and the fuzzy
head. Like a phoenix, I will rise. I won't give in. I won't back down. I won't quit.
I'm still new to this. You're nasty games. You're nasty tricks. Actually, you're just
nasty. Well, I've said it once and I'll say it again. I won't give in. I won't back down.
I won't quit. So, bring it on. I will fight back. Every battle and every attack will be
met by me and those that have my back. No matter what, one last time, I won't give in.
I won't back down. I won't quit. Thank you. Thank you for listening. And as I say, I'm
not a poet. I do not profess to be a poet. It's just these things tick around in my brain
and I have to put them down on paper. So, that's what I do because it helps. Bear with
me. I'm just having a slurp of my cup of tea. Lovely. Okay. So, second part of the show
today. Gonna explain. I've managed to get booked in for a neurology appointment on Monday.
That was a last minute thing and I will explain later in the show as to why. I've asked to
see my brain scan. One to prove there's actually a brain in there, but let's not go that far.
But I want to know exactly how many lesions there is on my brain because all the letter
says is a few. A few, that could mean two, that could mean three, that could mean ten,
that could mean whatever. So, I want to know. And the reason I want to know is because I've
got to the point now with all this waiting for treatment and with the MSMDT doing what
they're doing, slowing things down, I've got to the point I'm actually going to make a
formal complaint. I think the time has come for me to start fighting a little bit harder
because I'm struggling. I'm actually struggling quite a lot. Things are getting quite bad
and I'm not getting any treatment. Again, that will come in the next part of the show.
But yeah, my date of diagnosis was the 27th of June 2022. I'm still sat here with no treatment.
That now is going to lead us on to the third part of today's show. And those of you watching
on YouTube will see I'm sat here with a smile on my face. Yeah. Let me be totally straight
with you. That ain't a happy smile. Because the gloves are off a little bit now. I'm going
to be honest. The gloves are off and it's time for me to start pushing back because
it's over six months since my diagnosis. This is a chronic condition as we're all aware.
This isn't a game. This is not a bit of fun. So I'm being sat left waiting purely because
the MSMDT team want to cross T's and dot I's. I'm sorry but you're playing games with my
life now. And I'm not saying, don't get me wrong, I am not saying I'm dying or anything
like that. But what I am saying is you're playing games with my ability to just be me.
Now I've got a script written in front of me and I will refer to that at times during
this little rant. But actually a lot of this is coming direct from the heart. I'm going
to be honest with you because I'm going to be totally straight. I need treatment. I needed
treatment six months ago. I need treatment. It's not going to roll back time. I get that.
But actually it can make the roll stop because quite honestly those that know me know I am
really struggling. I am deteriorating quite fast. Things aren't easy and I know they're
not for anyone with this condition. This condition is horrible. It is evil. But I don't understand
why things have to be so difficult to get treatment. If I got treatment six months ago
I would not be struggling to the extent I am now. Chances are I would have stayed at
that level for a bit longer. I would have stayed where walking was difficult. Yes I
would have been walking with crutches. I probably at some point would have needed my mobility
scooter. But do you know what? That might have been stretched out a little bit longer.
There's other things going on at the moment that I can't talk about and I will. Don't
get me wrong. Everything will come out in the wash. There's a few bits I've got to
keep under my hat for the time being. But you will all hear about them at some point.
I don't understand it. You work for the NHS. You're there to care for people and you're
there to give people treatment. And I get, I totally understand it. It's the process,
it's the system. The system is wrong. The process is wrong. Cold hard fact. You cannot
diagnose somebody with a condition that is known to get worse untreated. You cannot then
wait six plus months to give that person treatment even if that treatment is just going to hold
them where they were at that point. Sorry. It's wrong. It's flat wrong. I don't agree
with it at all. And I'm going to be straight. If we meet in the street, I'm going to look
you in the eye and I'm going to smile at you. Everyone. I will. Because that's the kind
of person I am. But actually, I ain't doing good. To be honest with you, I'm not doing
good. I've got pains that actually I can't explain. I've got thoughts and feelings that
I just again don't want to explain. Because let's be totally honest with you. I'm getting
frustrated. Bear with me. I've got a couple of teas in my hand. Do you know what? Frustrated
don't actually quite cover it. I'm angry. I am incredibly angry. Because genuinely,
I feel like I'm being left to rot. And at the moment, I am rotting. I'm fighting every
single day. And that fight ain't going anywhere. It really isn't. But you know what? Somebody
that's able come and stand beside me and fight. My family and friends are stood right beside
me. They're fighting. They are incredible. Genuinely incredible. But actually, those
that are able to help that little bit more, the ones that can medically help, I feel like
you're ignoring me. I feel like you're not interested. I've said it, and I will say it
again. I feel like I's are being dotted. I feel like T's are being crossed. It's not
a game. This is not paperwork. This is my life. And at the moment, that's actually being
made more difficult to live. And I'm not, I hope again I will say it, I am not saying
under any circumstance am I dying or anything like that. I'm not. But actually, my quality
of life is becoming difficult. Walking. Really, really, really, really tough. I fight through
and I manage. Because I've got to. But actually, do you know what? Each step ain't easy. Each
step hurts. And I'm having to do everything I can to just stand on a daily basis. And
I will continue to do so. I will continue to do so. Because that's what I've got to
do. But those that medically can help, pull your finger out. Let's get some help. Now
as a family, I will be honest with you, my dad, and I want to give him a massive thank
you for this, he's been in touch with our local MP to make a complaint about this amount
of time I'm being sat and left. And do you know what? Thank you. Thank you for making
that complaint. I should have done it a long time ago but I was trying to play Mr Nice
Guy trying to be, oh yeah, you know, they're getting there. No, they're not getting there,
they're just sat leaving me. So dad, thank you. The MP's office have been in touch and
they are getting in touch with NHS England to start querying this as to why, after six
months, why am I still being left untreated? I'm getting worse here folks. I'm getting
worse, quite a lot worse. Step up. Step up and give me the help that I need just to stay
where I am. I don't want the world, I really don't, all I want is the medical help to keep
me where I am. Genuinely, I'm not asking for the world. Okay. Well, I think that's
probably enough for today. I want to thank you all for listening. I know this has probably
been a very difficult listen for some but actually again, it's something I've had to
get off my chest because it sits there and I need to get it out. Genuinely, thank you.
I will update you all on how the appointment with the neurologist goes. As I say, that's
tomorrow, Monday. This podcast is released on that day. So I may, depending on how it
goes, I may post up a very short trailer just to give you an update or I'll hang fire and
I'll update you all next Monday, so the Monday after on the next podcast. Okay. Thank you
all for listening. I know it's kind of been an easy one. Massively appreciated. Speak
soon. Bye bye.