Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I've got to start today. First things have
got to come first, massive Happy New Year. I really hope you've had a good New Year's
Eve, good New Year's Day and yeah, let's see what this new year brings. But first things
first, Happy New Year to every single one of you. You've all helped me back ender last
year an awful lot and I just really hope I'm able to help at least one of you, if not all
of you. But yeah, Happy New Year. Today on the show, I'm going to talk a little bit today
about an update on myself. I've also got something that those that have listened to my shows
a bit in the past. I've written a couple of poems. I've actually written another one.
Yeah, sorry about that. It just happened. So I'm going to read out another poem to
you today. It's New Year's based. I think it's actually quite positive. I hope you like
it. And lastly, today I'm going to talk about some hopes that I've got for the coming year.
Anyone that listened to my last episode of last year, as I explained on that, it was
released deliberately early, purely and simply because it was something I had to get off
my chest. It needed saying. And I wanted to be able to start the new year talking to you
all a bit more positively. So here we are. This is episode 21. Yeah, 21. If only I was
21 years old. If only. Anyway, that comes into the bit a little bit later. It doesn't,
but I'm going to pretend it does because everyone would love to be 21 again. Just saying. Anyway,
back to the real world. Bit of an update on myself. I've got to be totally honest with
you. And I know I've said this a bit recently, but I'm actually starting to struggle quite
a lot. It's nothing really new. It's all pains I've had going on for the last couple of months.
But they're getting worse. And I do mean quite a bit worse, even to the point that I'm actually
trying to hide it from the family. Just how much pain I'm in. It's not nice. It's really
not nice. I'm not supposed to like pain anyway, but yeah, no, it's really not nice. I'm not
keen. Don't like it. And I'd love for it to go away. Just saying. If anyone's listening,
it can make that happen. I tell you, there's a high five in it for you. Anyway, going on
with the pain. What we're talking about really is my legs and lower back, as well as my forearms.
I know I've only got two arms. It's okay. I understand it. But these things are called
forearms. Don't know why, but you know, it is what it is. But yeah, I mean, those sort
of areas are actually I'm getting quite a lot of pains in them. It's not nice. And I've
said that just to it again. Anyway, the one thing I've always shied away from is telling
people exactly what painkillers I'm on. I'm going to change that now. Because you know
what? Why do I need to hide that sort of thing? I don't. So the painkillers I'm taking are
Gabapentin. As it stands at the moment, I'm currently on 600 milligrams a day, 300 in
the morning, 300 at night. And it does help. It doesn't completely eradicate the pain.
I have to say that it really doesn't. But it does help. It takes some away. The other
thing I've noticed that it does kind of help with a little bit is what we I suppose would
know as the MS hug. I've explained in the past that I suffer with that. And that's a
daily thing. It never really fully goes away. I do have days where it's not quite so bad.
But it's always there. I always feel like I'm being absolutely squeezed across the sort
of top of my stomach, bottom of my rib cage. That sort of area. It's just not nice. I could
do with that going away as well. As I said in my first poem, I've had better hugs when
I used to chuck drunks out of a pub. Clearly that doesn't happen anymore. But there you
go. But yeah, so that's kind of where we are with that. I mean, walking wise, I'm struggling.
It's very difficult. I walk really just a few feet and my legs actually get really tired.
And it is, it's a level of tired in my legs that it doesn't make sense to me. They shouldn't
get that tired that soon. I mean, I used to be capable, I mean when I'm talking a lot
younger, I used to be capable of playing two football matches a day. Football training.
All sorts. Now, just a few feet, walk a few feet and now I'm done. Absolutely done. My
legs, my thighs, calf muscles, all that sort of stuff hurt. But there you go. So again,
it's just something I'm kind of having to try and find a way of sharing my life with.
And I'm doing the best I can with doing that. There is no secret into the mental aspect
I'm struggling with. The forgetfulness, all that sort of stuff is actually awful at the
moment. It's really not nice at all. I forget things that quite honestly, I just should
not forget. But I do. Long term memory, brilliant. Not a problem at all. Short term memory. Who
are you? What am I doing here? That one was a tease, but it kind of makes the point. Genuinely,
I can be doing some, I can walk out of a room, come back in, gone, forgotten. Not a clue.
So yeah, that's where I am currently. I'm not going to bore you in too much detail with
it. That's currently what I'm dealing with. And I'm fighting through. I'm doing the best
I can. It's not easy, but I'm trying hard because at the end of the day, it's just something
I've got to find a way of getting used to. And I'm trying. And I'll continue to try.
It's not really a lot more I can say on that. I'm going to move on now to the next part
of the show. Give me a second. I'm just slurping on me cup of tea like usual. I do like a nice
strong cup of Rosie. Yeah, okay. A bit of cotton coming out there. Let's not go any
further without it right now. Okay, so what I'm going to do now, I'm just trying to turn
over a page because I'm going to read my new poem to you all. And this is one that I'll
be quite honest with you. I actually quite enjoyed when I was sitting and writing. To
me personally, I think it's quite positive. It might not sound it to start with, but I
think the actual the thought process behind it is actually a very positive poem. I hope
you like it. I say it again, I've said it before when I've written poetry, I am not
a poet. Absolutely not a poet. Why this stuff pops into my head, I will never know. But
it does. So I'm going to share it. Here we go. So with the new year coming, we have new
hopes, new dreams, new fight. With the coming of the chiming bells and the bangs of the
fireworks, we smile, we laugh, we hug. When the bells stop and the beauty of the fireworks
bend, time for sleep. Dreaming of all the good we want from the coming year. The previous
one wasn't so good. This time round, we wake with new fight, new passion, new hopes. This
time, we battle the bad and replace it with good. This new year, we use what we have learned
and continue the fight with old experience to help us guide us forward into our future.
The one we want, the one we need, the one we deserve. And let's be fair, we all deserve
a good happy future. And that's what my hope is for each and every one of you for this
coming year and beyond is we get a good future. You know, all the fights that we go through
and we go through a lot, let's go through them together as a team. Because as a team,
we're all stronger. We can do this. We really can do this. Anyway, back away from the poem
slowly. Back away, back away. There we go. Right, it's gone. It's gone. It's okay. It's
all right. I promise you. It's gone. It's hidden. I won't subject you to that one ever
again unless you ask. Right, okay. So the next part, what I want to talk about here
is my hopes for the coming year. And I do have a few, I'm going to be honest. There
is a few hopes in my head. I think there's no secret to the fact that the biggest one
that I have is just get me on some treatment. That's all. I'm not asking for massive amounts
of things. I'm not asking for millions of pounds here. Just get me on some treatment.
Just kind of slow the roll a little bit. I know I said that previously, but just get
me into a point where I can stop getting worse just for a short period. That would be lovely.
If I've got to stay as I am, that's fine. I'll accept that. Not a problem. Let's just
stop me getting a little bit worse. That's all I'm asking. Nothing major. There you go.
There's some more of my hopes. And again, I know I've mentioned it in a previous episode.
I really hope this year as a family we get to make our move to the South Coast. I just,
I genuinely believe if we can do that we can make our move down to the South Coast from
the Midlands. For the kids I think in the long term I think they've got so much brighter
futures down there. There's better work prospects, colleges, universities, all that sort of stuff.
And again, from myself, Lisa, my dad, my brother, I just think there's a better life to be had
than where we currently are. And where we are isn't awful. Quite the opposite. I just
think a fresh start would be nice. And it's something that quite honestly I'm chomping
at the bit for. I'm going to be honest, I really am quite looking forward to it. So
fingers crossed. Again, going back to that a little bit, one of my biggest hopes is happiness
for family, for friends. That includes all of you that are listening. I've said this previously.
I actually do class you all as friends. I come on here and I talk away and genuinely
I believe each and every person that is listening is a friend. So in all fairness thank you
and believe me when I say I do hope that you have the best possible year that you can have
as well. I've also just booked for myself, my dad and my brother to go down to London
again for the MS Societies charity walk in September. It's something I'm really excited
about. Massively excited about. Loved every minute of it when we did it last year. Really
did enjoy it. So yeah, I mean that's something I can't wait for. And I'm not trying to
keep the time away, honest. But yeah, genuinely I really am looking forward to that. Raise
some money for an incredible charity. A charity that quite obviously is very close to my heart
and everyone else that's suffering with this condition or has got family members that are,
friends that are, whatever. Let's try and raise the money. Let's try and get somewhere
where help can be given to everyone that's affected by this condition. And really finally
the two medical studies that I'm assisting with. I'm kind of, shall we say the person
that they're going to be performing the tests and everything on. Brilliant. Let's go ahead
with that. Let's get it done. If that can provide even the slightest little bit of help,
that's what I'm here for. I want to offer as much help as I possibly can. If we can
find a way to fight this disgusting condition, this horrible condition, this evil condition,
I'm willing to do whatever I can to help. Well, I have to say a massive thank you to
each and every one of you listening. You are all hugely appreciated. And I'm talking
worldwide. Everyone across the entire world that's listening to this podcast, thank you.
Massive, massive thank you. I hope you all have a fantastic year, as best as you possibly
can. And I will speak to you again very, very soon. Thank you for listening. Bye bye.