1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,520 Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I've got to start today. First things have 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:13,360 got to come first, massive Happy New Year. I really hope you've had a good New Year's 3 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:19,840 Eve, good New Year's Day and yeah, let's see what this new year brings. But first things 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:25,560 first, Happy New Year to every single one of you. You've all helped me back ender last 5 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:31,560 year an awful lot and I just really hope I'm able to help at least one of you, if not all 6 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:41,240 of you. But yeah, Happy New Year. Today on the show, I'm going to talk a little bit today 7 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:49,920 about an update on myself. I've also got something that those that have listened to my shows 8 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:55,520 a bit in the past. I've written a couple of poems. I've actually written another one. 9 00:00:55,520 --> 00:01:00,320 Yeah, sorry about that. It just happened. So I'm going to read out another poem to 10 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:07,680 you today. It's New Year's based. I think it's actually quite positive. I hope you like 11 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:16,600 it. And lastly, today I'm going to talk about some hopes that I've got for the coming year. 12 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:23,000 Anyone that listened to my last episode of last year, as I explained on that, it was 13 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:31,360 released deliberately early, purely and simply because it was something I had to get off 14 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:39,720 my chest. It needed saying. And I wanted to be able to start the new year talking to you 15 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:51,680 all a bit more positively. So here we are. This is episode 21. Yeah, 21. If only I was 16 00:01:51,680 --> 00:02:00,880 21 years old. If only. Anyway, that comes into the bit a little bit later. It doesn't, 17 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:07,200 but I'm going to pretend it does because everyone would love to be 21 again. Just saying. Anyway, 18 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:15,680 back to the real world. Bit of an update on myself. I've got to be totally honest with 19 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:20,120 you. And I know I've said this a bit recently, but I'm actually starting to struggle quite 20 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:32,800 a lot. It's nothing really new. It's all pains I've had going on for the last couple of months. 21 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:39,800 But they're getting worse. And I do mean quite a bit worse, even to the point that I'm actually 22 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:49,680 trying to hide it from the family. Just how much pain I'm in. It's not nice. It's really 23 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:55,160 not nice. I'm not supposed to like pain anyway, but yeah, no, it's really not nice. I'm not 24 00:02:55,160 --> 00:03:02,760 keen. Don't like it. And I'd love for it to go away. Just saying. If anyone's listening, 25 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:10,440 it can make that happen. I tell you, there's a high five in it for you. Anyway, going on 26 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:20,880 with the pain. What we're talking about really is my legs and lower back, as well as my forearms. 27 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:27,720 I know I've only got two arms. It's okay. I understand it. But these things are called 28 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:34,880 forearms. Don't know why, but you know, it is what it is. But yeah, I mean, those sort 29 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,720 of areas are actually I'm getting quite a lot of pains in them. It's not nice. And I've 30 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:48,200 said that just to it again. Anyway, the one thing I've always shied away from is telling 31 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:54,880 people exactly what painkillers I'm on. I'm going to change that now. Because you know 32 00:03:54,880 --> 00:04:03,000 what? Why do I need to hide that sort of thing? I don't. So the painkillers I'm taking are 33 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:10,520 Gabapentin. As it stands at the moment, I'm currently on 600 milligrams a day, 300 in 34 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:16,560 the morning, 300 at night. And it does help. It doesn't completely eradicate the pain. 35 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:23,280 I have to say that it really doesn't. But it does help. It takes some away. The other 36 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:29,400 thing I've noticed that it does kind of help with a little bit is what we I suppose would 37 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:34,600 know as the MS hug. I've explained in the past that I suffer with that. And that's a 38 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:41,280 daily thing. It never really fully goes away. I do have days where it's not quite so bad. 39 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:47,560 But it's always there. I always feel like I'm being absolutely squeezed across the sort 40 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:54,240 of top of my stomach, bottom of my rib cage. That sort of area. It's just not nice. I could 41 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:59,360 do with that going away as well. As I said in my first poem, I've had better hugs when 42 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:06,960 I used to chuck drunks out of a pub. Clearly that doesn't happen anymore. But there you 43 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:14,320 go. But yeah, so that's kind of where we are with that. I mean, walking wise, I'm struggling. 44 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:23,200 It's very difficult. I walk really just a few feet and my legs actually get really tired. 45 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:31,080 And it is, it's a level of tired in my legs that it doesn't make sense to me. They shouldn't 46 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:38,440 get that tired that soon. I mean, I used to be capable, I mean when I'm talking a lot 47 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:45,160 younger, I used to be capable of playing two football matches a day. Football training. 48 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:53,200 All sorts. Now, just a few feet, walk a few feet and now I'm done. Absolutely done. My 49 00:05:53,200 --> 00:06:02,720 legs, my thighs, calf muscles, all that sort of stuff hurt. But there you go. So again, 50 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:09,880 it's just something I'm kind of having to try and find a way of sharing my life with. 51 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:19,640 And I'm doing the best I can with doing that. There is no secret into the mental aspect 52 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:26,760 I'm struggling with. The forgetfulness, all that sort of stuff is actually awful at the 53 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:32,720 moment. It's really not nice at all. I forget things that quite honestly, I just should 54 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:40,680 not forget. But I do. Long term memory, brilliant. Not a problem at all. Short term memory. Who 55 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:49,600 are you? What am I doing here? That one was a tease, but it kind of makes the point. Genuinely, 56 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:55,280 I can be doing some, I can walk out of a room, come back in, gone, forgotten. Not a clue. 57 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:59,680 So yeah, that's where I am currently. I'm not going to bore you in too much detail with 58 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:04,600 it. That's currently what I'm dealing with. And I'm fighting through. I'm doing the best 59 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:11,680 I can. It's not easy, but I'm trying hard because at the end of the day, it's just something 60 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:21,560 I've got to find a way of getting used to. And I'm trying. And I'll continue to try. 61 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:28,560 It's not really a lot more I can say on that. I'm going to move on now to the next part 62 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:38,960 of the show. Give me a second. I'm just slurping on me cup of tea like usual. I do like a nice 63 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:48,480 strong cup of Rosie. Yeah, okay. A bit of cotton coming out there. Let's not go any 64 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:53,960 further without it right now. Okay, so what I'm going to do now, I'm just trying to turn 65 00:07:53,960 --> 00:08:05,160 over a page because I'm going to read my new poem to you all. And this is one that I'll 66 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:11,640 be quite honest with you. I actually quite enjoyed when I was sitting and writing. To 67 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:17,200 me personally, I think it's quite positive. It might not sound it to start with, but I 68 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:22,040 think the actual the thought process behind it is actually a very positive poem. I hope 69 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:26,040 you like it. I say it again, I've said it before when I've written poetry, I am not 70 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:32,680 a poet. Absolutely not a poet. Why this stuff pops into my head, I will never know. But 71 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:41,080 it does. So I'm going to share it. Here we go. So with the new year coming, we have new 72 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:48,560 hopes, new dreams, new fight. With the coming of the chiming bells and the bangs of the 73 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:57,280 fireworks, we smile, we laugh, we hug. When the bells stop and the beauty of the fireworks 74 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:04,880 bend, time for sleep. Dreaming of all the good we want from the coming year. The previous 75 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:13,520 one wasn't so good. This time round, we wake with new fight, new passion, new hopes. This 76 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:22,660 time, we battle the bad and replace it with good. This new year, we use what we have learned 77 00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:31,760 and continue the fight with old experience to help us guide us forward into our future. 78 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:42,160 The one we want, the one we need, the one we deserve. And let's be fair, we all deserve 79 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:47,360 a good happy future. And that's what my hope is for each and every one of you for this 80 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:56,120 coming year and beyond is we get a good future. You know, all the fights that we go through 81 00:09:56,120 --> 00:10:05,080 and we go through a lot, let's go through them together as a team. Because as a team, 82 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:16,560 we're all stronger. We can do this. We really can do this. Anyway, back away from the poem 83 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:22,720 slowly. Back away, back away. There we go. Right, it's gone. It's gone. It's okay. It's 84 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:27,920 all right. I promise you. It's gone. It's hidden. I won't subject you to that one ever 85 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:39,240 again unless you ask. Right, okay. So the next part, what I want to talk about here 86 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:47,440 is my hopes for the coming year. And I do have a few, I'm going to be honest. There 87 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:53,520 is a few hopes in my head. I think there's no secret to the fact that the biggest one 88 00:10:53,520 --> 00:11:01,600 that I have is just get me on some treatment. That's all. I'm not asking for massive amounts 89 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:07,720 of things. I'm not asking for millions of pounds here. Just get me on some treatment. 90 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:12,680 Just kind of slow the roll a little bit. I know I said that previously, but just get 91 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:20,480 me into a point where I can stop getting worse just for a short period. That would be lovely. 92 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:26,240 If I've got to stay as I am, that's fine. I'll accept that. Not a problem. Let's just 93 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:35,240 stop me getting a little bit worse. That's all I'm asking. Nothing major. There you go. 94 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:42,800 There's some more of my hopes. And again, I know I've mentioned it in a previous episode. 95 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:51,040 I really hope this year as a family we get to make our move to the South Coast. I just, 96 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:56,640 I genuinely believe if we can do that we can make our move down to the South Coast from 97 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:02,480 the Midlands. For the kids I think in the long term I think they've got so much brighter 98 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:11,840 futures down there. There's better work prospects, colleges, universities, all that sort of stuff. 99 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:19,440 And again, from myself, Lisa, my dad, my brother, I just think there's a better life to be had 100 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:26,840 than where we currently are. And where we are isn't awful. Quite the opposite. I just 101 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:33,800 think a fresh start would be nice. And it's something that quite honestly I'm chomping 102 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:39,960 at the bit for. I'm going to be honest, I really am quite looking forward to it. So 103 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:48,960 fingers crossed. Again, going back to that a little bit, one of my biggest hopes is happiness 104 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:57,880 for family, for friends. That includes all of you that are listening. I've said this previously. 105 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:05,480 I actually do class you all as friends. I come on here and I talk away and genuinely 106 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:15,240 I believe each and every person that is listening is a friend. So in all fairness thank you 107 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:21,400 and believe me when I say I do hope that you have the best possible year that you can have 108 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:36,280 as well. I've also just booked for myself, my dad and my brother to go down to London 109 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:46,680 again for the MS Societies charity walk in September. It's something I'm really excited 110 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:53,000 about. Massively excited about. Loved every minute of it when we did it last year. Really 111 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:58,880 did enjoy it. So yeah, I mean that's something I can't wait for. And I'm not trying to 112 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:05,360 keep the time away, honest. But yeah, genuinely I really am looking forward to that. Raise 113 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:11,720 some money for an incredible charity. A charity that quite obviously is very close to my heart 114 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:17,040 and everyone else that's suffering with this condition or has got family members that are, 115 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:24,440 friends that are, whatever. Let's try and raise the money. Let's try and get somewhere 116 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:35,080 where help can be given to everyone that's affected by this condition. And really finally 117 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:49,000 the two medical studies that I'm assisting with. I'm kind of, shall we say the person 118 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:54,000 that they're going to be performing the tests and everything on. Brilliant. Let's go ahead 119 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:59,120 with that. Let's get it done. If that can provide even the slightest little bit of help, 120 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:05,680 that's what I'm here for. I want to offer as much help as I possibly can. If we can 121 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:11,120 find a way to fight this disgusting condition, this horrible condition, this evil condition, 122 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:22,040 I'm willing to do whatever I can to help. Well, I have to say a massive thank you to 123 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:28,120 each and every one of you listening. You are all hugely appreciated. And I'm talking 124 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:36,080 worldwide. Everyone across the entire world that's listening to this podcast, thank you. 125 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:42,200 Massive, massive thank you. I hope you all have a fantastic year, as best as you possibly 126 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:58,560 can. And I will speak to you again very, very soon. Thank you for listening. Bye bye.