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Hello and welcome to show number 18. On the show today there's a couple of bits and pieces

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that I'm going to talk about. I put out a bit of a trailer the other day because I was

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quite excited. I had my phone call for the medical study that I'd been put forward for

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so I'll explain that. I've had some issues shall we say in the last week which I'm having

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to talk about quite a bit at the moment because they're coming thick and fast. I've also had

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the telephone call from Occupational Health through work so I will explain that. And last

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but not least we've got to talk about it. Christmas is coming up and this will be the

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last show that airs before the big day so yeah I'm going to have a little conversation

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about Christmas. I hope that's okay. So we're going to start the day with me talking about

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the phone call I had in terms of the medical study that my MS coordinator had put me forward

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for. It was actually a very very good phone call. I'm not going to beat around the bush

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let's start as we mean to go on. I was offered the chance to be part and parcel of this medical

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study. On the zoom call that we had there was just basic chit chat explaining about

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myself, my diagnosis, explaining about the issues and everything that I have. Mainly

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we were talking about the memory side of things because that's what this study is about. It's

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talking about the memory issues and yeah they'd sort of done this, I'm going to call it a

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little test, but they'd done this test on me where I had to sort of try and memorise

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pictures and numbers that relate to pictures. It wasn't easy, I'll be honest it really

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wasn't easy at all. I did struggle. Thankfully because it was on the screen in front of me

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I could sort of point my finger at what I was doing and sort of relate the two together.

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Bit cheaty, I know, I know, but I had to do it and yeah I mean it was actually very very

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good. The person I was speaking to, she was brilliant, absolutely fantastic, been a person

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that I'm dealing with going forward with that study. They have actually got in touch

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with me today, today is Wednesday and they've asked me if there's another study that I might

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be interested in taking part in. Well again I am very very new to all this, I've made

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this clear since I started this podcast, but being as new as I am to it I am absolutely

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desperate to do whatever I can to help every person that I can and if that means me being

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effectively somebody's laboratory experiment, do you know what, I'm happy to do it, I'm

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really happy to do it because again if I'm suffering there's people out there that are

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a hundred times worse than I am so if there's just a tiny little piece that I can put into

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that jigsaw to try and help out then do you know what, consider my piece there for everyone.

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So yeah that's how that went and I've got to be straight and I know I've said it before,

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the memory issues, I know I am well aware I have lesions on my brain, I do not know

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how many at this point but I'm aware they are there and it could well be that that's

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what's causing these memory issues that I have because again I'm an open book, I'm

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very honest, at the moment memory wise it's very difficult, it really is. So yeah I'm

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looking forward to getting into this study and cracking on and seeing if there's anything

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we can do to try and help stop the slide and make people have a way of kind of not having

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so many memory issues. I know that's going to be difficult, I know it's not going to

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be easy but at the same time if there's a little something that can be done to help

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let's do it. But yeah I mean that's where that sits in terms of the medical study, as

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I said I did put that trailer out, it was only about a minute long but I was so excited

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I just had to share it with everyone so apologies for having that sort of spam episode put out

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but no I genuinely had to do it. Next thing I'm going to mention is the telephone call

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I had with the occupational health which was through work. It was a very good phone call,

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it's something that I have to admit I was very nervous about. You know from my point

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of view I'm the main breadwinner. Lisa she goes out to work, she works really hard bless

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her and she does incredible, she really does, she does things that I couldn't even dream

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of doing. So to say that I am incredibly grateful for what she does is a massive understatement.

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But yeah I mean I do work full time and it concerned me having this telephone call with

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occupational health because yeah I was concerned that they were going to turn around and say

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oh no I'm sorry but with the way things are with you, you're not fit to work. Thankfully

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that's not what happened. It was a very good phone call, they spoke to me, they allowed

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me to talk and give them details of my diagnosis, give them details of my physical well-being,

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how things were to how things are. They also asked me about my mental well-being because

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let's be honest and again I think I've mentioned it before, I do genuinely believe that having

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any kind of chronic medical condition is going to cause you issues mentally, there's no

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hiding from that. It's just how we deal with them and every single person on the planet

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is different. So yeah we had this conversation and they listened to the sort of things I

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do on a daily basis at work. They asked me if there was anything I believed that could

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be changed to support me and to make things better and easier for me in the workplace.

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I have to be honest as I've said previously I am quite lucky because in my workplace I

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am able to sit down quite a bit which is very very helpful so when I'm having a bad day

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there's always bits and pieces I can do, there really is which is fantastic. They asked

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me a question I was a bit confused about, they sort of asked me about the chair that

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I sit on when I'm in the office and I bought my own chair for work, I thought it was a

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better thing to do. They've told me that actually I need an even better chair than that but

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it's not me that's going to be purchasing it and this is the sort of thing that is all

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new to me I have to be honest, I've never been the kind of person where things have

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been handed to me. In that respect in the work environment things have never been handed

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to me but yeah apparently my company are going to need to provide me with a lumbar supporting

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chair which should make things a bit more comfortable and yeah I mean that's the sort

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of thing that Occupational Health have come up with and massively appreciated. They have

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suggested to me about counselling, they believe because it really did come out of the blue,

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the diagnosis and yeah the person I was speaking to said actually do you know what you sound

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very comfortable with things and you sound as though you're sort of taking it in your

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stride but again I've been honest with them at times I have had absolute meltdowns over

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it. I've had instances where I have sat and cried and I'm not embarrassed to say that,

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I have genuinely had times where I've sat and cried my eyes out and the person from

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Occupational Health actually said well do you know what that's understandable so they've

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spoken to me and they've asked if I'm okay to have counselling should it be required

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and yeah I've put my hands up I've said do you know what anything is going to help, I'd

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do it. So yeah I mean that's where we are. In the report that Occupational Health are

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going to ping through to my company they have made it clear that I am fit for work which

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honestly is a massive weight off my shoulders it really is because I was worried. I can

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imagine most people would be but yeah that is fantastic. Going on to the issues that

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I've been having, they've not been great I'm going to be honest they really haven't

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been great I know I've mentioned it a few times recently where I've been having pains

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and whatever else yeah I mean they're pretty standard at the moment they really are. I

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know when I've done some research into MS when I was first diagnosed it was made very

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clear that the heat can cause quite a few issues for people with this condition. I'm

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actually finding that yeah okay the summer was quite bad but I managed to plod through

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and I am a summer person I love the sunshine you give me sunshine and a barbecue in the

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garden I'm going to rip your armour for it absolutely love it. I'm not one for the cold

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weather but yeah this cold weather is actually causing me a bit of a problem and that's

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me being totally honest it really is causing me a problem. Tuesday night we'd had a bit

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of a bad day it was my day off there was a lot of stress going on it came to Tuesday

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night and I got to the point where actually I fell onto the sofa it was difficult I couldn't

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get back up I couldn't even sit up I was sort of laid on the sofaish it was very uncomfortable

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but I physically could not move I felt drained I had feelings like somebody was tickling

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my face and my head and I've mentioned that previously I've had that but yeah I mean

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it was it was very very bad I was probably there for I'm gonna go for as strong as about

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20 minutes Lisa was with me she was doing all she can to try and keep me calm try and

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try and help me get up as and when I needed to get up eventually we did manage to get

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me on my feet she passed me one of my crutches that one was stick stick sticky stick the

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other one was upstairs so yeah I managed to managed to get up with Lisa's help and when

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I was stood there I was stood there for a minute or so and I physically couldn't move

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my legs my brain was saying move step forward step step my legs were saying I don't even

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know who you are my friend I can't I can't do anything they literally would not move

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eventually we managed to get past that and I did manage to get upstairs managed to get

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in bed and eventually dropped off to sleep wasn't a great night's sleep I must admit

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but when I woke up the following morning I was drained I felt like I had no sleep at

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all genuinely physically and mentally I was exhausted and I've got to be honest with you

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that day's today I'm recording this the day after ready for release Monday night yeah

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it's a struggle I'm gonna be honest with you I'm sat here I'm painting a smile on my

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face for those of you that are viewing this on YouTube you're looking at me I've got

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a smile on my face internally that smile don't exist this this is not a good day I am really

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struggling but I'm doing what I can to fight through it's not easy but I'm doing the best

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I can and again that's just me being totally straight with you I've said all along I'm

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gonna be honest because at the end of the day that's all I can be is honest and give

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you all a proper insight as this is called it's called Mike's MS journey part of that

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journey is good days part of that journey is bad days part of that journey is absolutely

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awful days today comes under the absolutely awful I'm gonna be honest with you but I'm

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doing the best I can and I'm not gonna dwell on that I don't want to keep sort of pushing

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that out to yourselves it is what it is I'll be straight with you I'll tell you when it's

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a bad day but you know what I'm doing what I can to crack on and I will continue to do

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so I think that's probably enough of the the negative aspect one thing I've really got

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to talk about today Christmas love it absolutely love Christmas it's gonna be the last time

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we speak before Santa comes around and you know what I want to wish you all an absolutely

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fantastic Christmas I'm gonna say to you now I was gonna wait until the end of the episode

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to say it but you know what no I want to tell you now have a cracking Christmas I really

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do hope you enjoy it it doesn't matter what you're doing just a day for smiles I really

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hope that you can all have that from my point of view we're doing what we always do we're

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having family come over we've got a big Christmas dinner planned in Lisa and my dad they always

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cook Christmas dinner and they do a fantastic job of it I don't know how they do it cooking

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for so many people but fair play to them they've got some skills I couldn't even imagine having

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to say that they really do a couple of days before Christmas on the 23rd we are again

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as a family going out to the local pantomime it's become a bit of a ritual we do it every

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year I mean obviously over Covid and that didn't happen for the I believe it was the

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first year but yeah we go out we absolutely love it I'll be honest it's a fantastic night

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out again I don't know what I can and can't say on here but there is a particular company

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that put the pantomimes on brilliant the actors that they have on are fantastic and the one

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thing I've got to say Lisa's personality is fantastic and the way she laughs at things

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is brilliant we tend to sit quite close to the front and there tends to be this one member

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of the pantomime crew one of the actors he seems to recognise Lisa every year and a poor

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bloke he walks out he sees her face he just has a little giggle because he knows what's

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coming and yeah it's fantastic honestly the crew that do it are brilliant and yeah again

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it's just one of those things that I look forward to so yeah that's where our Christmas

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lies I'm excited for Christmas can't wait and I really hope you all have a fantastic

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one it doesn't matter what you're doing genuinely I hope you have a great Christmas massive

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thank yous I know this podcast is still very new it's only been since really the end of

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September but honestly you've all yeah I'm gonna be honest to me you're all friends you're

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all friends and I'm incredibly grateful for all the downloads and the comments that I

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receive have a great Christmas really do hope you enjoy it and I look forward to talking

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to you all again soon speak soon bye bye