1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,600 I hope everyone's doing the best that they can at the moment. 2 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,600 Welcome to episode 13. 3 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:17,960 Today, I've got a bit of a confession to make to you all. 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:22,160 It's nothing bad, but it is quite shocking. 5 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:27,200 Yes, yeah, it is very shocking. 6 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:34,320 So today, I'm going to do something, actually, it's going to be quite hard for me to do, 7 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,360 I'll be totally honest with you. 8 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:49,760 I want to open up about how this diagnosis has made me feel and how the current issues 9 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,960 with it are making me feel. 10 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:57,720 I know from time to time I've mentioned pains and whatever else, I'm going to go a little 11 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,680 bit more in depth than that. 12 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:06,000 So I've written down some words I want to say, because to be honest with you, if I just 13 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,920 try and explain that off the top of my head, I'm probably going to get tongue-tied and 14 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:15,960 I'll be totally honest, maybe a shade emotional. 15 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:20,920 So I try not to play that game if I can help it. 16 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:26,840 But yeah, if you don't mind, there's something I'd like to do during this show today is 17 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:31,480 open up to you all. 18 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:36,280 But first, confession time. 19 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,760 Wow. 20 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,760 Okay. 21 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,360 This is quite the confession. 22 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:54,040 I did something just yesterday that is actually normally very much against my thought processes. 23 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,520 Yes. 24 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,960 Oh dear. 25 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:04,360 Because it's been quite a tough year for us as a family. 26 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:11,120 I mean, obviously, with my diagnosis and everything and other little bits and pieces going on, 27 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:16,040 it's been a bit of a tough year. 28 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:21,040 I got to say it, I know I've mentioned it in the past, my family have been incredible. 29 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,440 They really, really have. 30 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:30,960 And to say I am proud of each and every member of my family is an understatement. 31 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:38,960 Because if you're listening, every one of you is more of a legend than you can ever 32 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:39,960 understand. 33 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:45,680 So thank you, all of you. 34 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:53,840 Lisa, she says to me, it was either yesterday morning or the night before, I think it was 35 00:02:53,840 --> 00:03:01,400 actually the night before, she mentioned that the kids were talking about wanting the Christmas 36 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,400 tree up. 37 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,400 Yeah. 38 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:09,120 Yeah, very early. 39 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,760 And I always say no. 40 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,680 And normally we put it up to first week of December, first of December, around that sort 41 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,680 of time. 42 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:20,200 We've had it up to real back end of November before. 43 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:27,720 But I'm thinking to myself, do you know what, because it's been a bit of a tough year, 44 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,040 and these kids have been incredible. 45 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,040 They really have. 46 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,120 There's no other word for it apart from incredible. 47 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:41,200 They've been my little legends and mega proud, mega proud. 48 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,040 And I'm very much the kind of person with that sort of stuff. 49 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,280 The answer is always no. 50 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,720 Not this time. 51 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,720 I said no. 52 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,720 Naturally. 53 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:54,720 Rude not to. 54 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,320 I had to say no. 55 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:02,240 But I put it in my head that, do you know what? 56 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:11,400 They deserve something to put a real smile on their faces. 57 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:16,560 I mean, they're happy kids anyway, but to really put a smile on their faces. 58 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:24,520 So I planned it in my head for the following day. 59 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:29,600 And I said to myself, right, kids are at school. 60 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:39,760 When Lisa goes to work, I'm going to get the Christmas tree up. 61 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:40,760 And yeah, I did. 62 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,800 I absolutely did. 63 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:53,720 I think Lisa knew what I was doing because out the back area, we've got a CCTV camera 64 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,440 there. 65 00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:01,200 And she realized for that short space of time, I'd actually turned it off. 66 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:07,200 Yep, not the smartest move because she knew there was going to be an issue. 67 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,000 But yes, I came out. 68 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,160 I grabbed the Christmas tree. 69 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,440 It wasn't easy to get it all out. 70 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,440 I'll be honest with you. 71 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,280 I had to sort of fight through and do it. 72 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,680 It was a bit painful, but you know what? 73 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:20,680 Cracked on. 74 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,680 Got it done. 75 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:22,680 Got the tree out. 76 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,920 Got the decorations out. 77 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:31,840 And while they were all at school, while Lisa was at work, I put the tree up. 78 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:35,080 Yep, very early. 79 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,080 I know. 80 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,080 I know. 81 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,080 Very early. 82 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,080 I don't care. 83 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:45,440 I really don't care if it puts a smile on my family's face. 84 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:46,440 Whatever. 85 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:47,440 Who cares? 86 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:51,760 So yeah, I put the lights on the tree, put the tree in place. 87 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:58,200 And I left the box of decorations out because I thought, you know what? 88 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,760 When the kids come home, there's no point me decorating the tree. 89 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:06,360 Let's do this all together as a family. 90 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:11,640 So when they walked in, they come home from school. 91 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,760 They looked and went, oh, the Christmas tree. 92 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:19,480 Yeah, there it was. 93 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:24,160 And I explained to them that it wasn't me that put the tree up. 94 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,120 Nah, definitely not. 95 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,120 Definitely not. 96 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,120 I wouldn't do that sort of thing. 97 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,120 Honest. 98 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:40,240 So we made a point that yesterday evening, I put Christmas music on. 99 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,960 Yep, that's another big, strange one. 100 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,160 I put Christmas music on. 101 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,160 And between us, we decorated the tree. 102 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,920 We decorated the living room, the hallway. 103 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:55,160 You know, we just decorated as much as we could downstairs. 104 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,200 It was really good fun. 105 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,440 We had a great time. 106 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,040 It was absolutely worth it. 107 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,320 It really was worth it. 108 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:09,880 Because between us, well, we all had a great time. 109 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,960 And yeah, they deserve it. 110 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,120 So yeah, that's my confession. 111 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:23,080 I actually put the Christmas tree up this early. 112 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:27,320 And believe me, when I tell you this early, that is pretty rare. 113 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,320 Whatever. 114 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,320 Kids are happy. 115 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,080 I'm happy. 116 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,960 Lisa's happy. 117 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,440 Job done. 118 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,440 It was brilliant. 119 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:44,520 I can't really say much more, to be honest with you, apart from we had a great time. 120 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,840 There's still more bits to get. 121 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:51,320 I absolutely need some candy canes on the tree because I'll be honest, I love them. 122 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,320 Absolutely love candy canes. 123 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,320 We need chocolate on the tree. 124 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,080 We need crackers on the tree. 125 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:02,560 But pretty much the tree is decorated. 126 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,400 We've got an elf hat. 127 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,120 It's like a Santa hat, but obviously an elf version. 128 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:16,120 So what I did, just as a bit of fun while the kids are decorating the tree and whatever 129 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:22,720 else, I put this elf hat on and I got a piece of paper. 130 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:31,880 And yep, I put, it was an elf and safety audit. 131 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,640 Elf and safety get everywhere, don't they? 132 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,520 Let's be honest, they literally, they check on everything. 133 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:43,320 But yeah, this elf was making sure it was all done correctly. 134 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,320 It was fun. 135 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:48,000 God be honest, it was really good fun. 136 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:53,320 There's a picture of that on actually both my TikTok, not TikTok on that one, I'm afraid. 137 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,200 But there is a picture of that actually on my Instagram. 138 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,300 By all means have a look. 139 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,800 Me with an elf hat on. 140 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,040 Yeah, I'll apologise now. 141 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:09,040 But it kept everyone entertained. 142 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:22,960 Coming away from that, as I said at the start, I really want to properly open up on how this 143 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:28,840 diagnosis has made me feel and has affected me. 144 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,560 And I've written a lot of this down because like I said at the start, if I just sit here 145 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:39,800 and waffle and let it all out, there is a chance I might get a little bit emotional. 146 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:44,360 But do you know what? 147 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:48,080 Getting emotional actually is kind of a good thing. 148 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:55,120 Because keeping feelings locked up inside yourself, it doesn't help. 149 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,400 It really doesn't help. 150 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:01,240 And this is something I'm getting very passionate about, I'll be honest with you, about keeping 151 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,200 feelings bottled up. 152 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:13,600 Personally, my advice, and again I am just a normal fella, I am nothing, not medically 153 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,280 trained, nothing like that. 154 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,880 I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a mental health worker. 155 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:23,420 But my personal advice, don't keep things bottled up. 156 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:25,560 Get them out there in the world. 157 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:32,440 The demons that you're going through, in my personal opinion, when you talk about those 158 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:38,640 demons, they start eventually to lose their power. 159 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:43,280 So honestly time for me. 160 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:47,600 Yeah bear with me. 161 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,480 This could be an interesting conversation. 162 00:10:50,480 --> 00:11:08,440 OK, so going back to when my GP first suggested that multiple sclerosis was an option. 163 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:13,720 Basically he said to me to prepare for that diagnosis. 164 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:20,360 And I know I've said this in my first video I did, which I then burnt the footage, the 165 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,680 audio from as my first podcast. 166 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:29,720 I actually came out of that appointment with the doctor. 167 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:35,800 And do you know what, I'm going to be totally honest, I cried. 168 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:40,560 I stood outside that doctor's surgery and I cried. 169 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,480 I rang Lisa. 170 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,440 I rang my dad. 171 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:54,040 And do you know what, genuinely and there's certain bits that I'm going to say that the 172 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:59,000 only person that's ever heard me say them is Lisa. 173 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:04,320 And I have to say she is just superb. 174 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:11,240 Doesn't really matter what issues are going on in my head. 175 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,080 She's always there to listen to me. 176 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,720 Never ever tells me that she's not got time. 177 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:22,280 She never tells me that she can't listen. 178 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,280 She's always there. 179 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:30,000 So again, me personally I'm very very lucky in that respect. 180 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:36,240 But yeah, I mean that's quite honest and open for me to admit to the world again. 181 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,360 You know, I cried my eyes out. 182 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:45,920 I really really did because do you know what, at that point I didn't know anything about 183 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:46,920 MS. 184 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,080 I still don't know a great deal. 185 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,720 I'd be lying if I said I did. 186 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,920 I've done research, I've done bits and pieces. 187 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,840 But I'm still new to all of this. 188 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:57,840 I really am. 189 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:04,400 But yeah, I mean I knew at that point my life had just changed. 190 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:14,160 Once I'd had my brain scan and the neurologist diagnosed me and passed me on to a specialist 191 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,160 MS nurse. 192 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,880 Again, I knew my life had changed. 193 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:24,840 And I'll be honest with you, again this is something, the only person that knows this 194 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,120 is Lisa. 195 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,840 I felt broken. 196 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,000 Absolutely broken. 197 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,480 Not only did I feel like my life had changed, the first thing that went through my head 198 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:53,680 is what kind of life, not just me, what kind of life am I going to cause for my family? 199 00:13:53,680 --> 00:14:00,680 But do you know what, again, my family are incredible and I know there's people out 200 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,160 there that are not as lucky as me. 201 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:08,920 And I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you need to talk, there are charities out 202 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,440 there, contact them. 203 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:18,800 Even if you go onto Facebook, and I'm going to name it, there are places on Facebook, 204 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,520 there are support groups, go and talk to them. 205 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:26,800 Please, please don't keep things bottled up. 206 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,600 That's something I really am strong on these days. 207 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:35,200 I've said this, don't keep things bottled up. 208 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:43,680 But yeah, at that point when the neurologist had diagnosed me and I felt broken, I genuinely, 209 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:51,120 do you know what, I said it to myself a good number of times, I actually said, why me? 210 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,120 Why me? 211 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:58,160 Why do, why has this thing chosen me? 212 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:02,720 But do you know what? 213 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,520 Why me? 214 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:11,320 I would rather it's me than other people. 215 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,320 Simple as that. 216 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,800 I would much rather me than somebody else. 217 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,080 A cold, hard fact. 218 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:22,080 And that's not me being any kind of hero or anything like that. 219 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:34,160 My thought process is very much of the fact that, well, if I'm going through it, then 220 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:37,360 stupidly in my head I'm thinking somebody else isn't. 221 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,520 I know they are, but it's not the point. 222 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:48,040 For me personally, if I can take anything like this away, I'm going to. 223 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:57,560 Because do you know what, it's very much a case of I'd rather me than somebody else. 224 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,040 Simple as that. 225 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:10,920 But again, at that point I'd already started to have quite large mobility issues. 226 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:21,000 My physio at the time, he'd given me crutches because of my mobility and my walking. 227 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:28,240 We purchased a wheelchair, which again has been incredible when it's been needed to be 228 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,240 used. 229 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:37,040 And again, all of this time I'm thinking to myself, I'm 39 years old, this should not 230 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,440 be happening. 231 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:45,960 I'm having falls at this point that are ridiculous. 232 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:51,160 And again these falls and stuff, the wheelchair, the crutches, I'm thinking to myself, come 233 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,400 on this can't keep happening. 234 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,400 It can't keep happening. 235 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,400 I'm thinking to myself, do you know what, this is unfair. 236 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,400 Forget me. 237 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,880 I'm thinking this is, I'm not interested in me. 238 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:03,440 I'll be honest with you. 239 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,760 It's not fair to my family. 240 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,640 It's not fair to the kids. 241 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,320 It's not fair to Lisa. 242 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:14,880 It's not fair to anyone in my family seeing me have all these falls and have all these 243 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:15,880 issues. 244 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,720 Well do you know what? 245 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,400 All they care about is me being okay. 246 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,400 Simple as that. 247 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,400 They just want me to be okay. 248 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:32,720 So from my point of view, I'm going to be okay. 249 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,640 This thing's going to give me bad days. 250 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,480 This thing's going to give me good days. 251 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,520 Well do you know what? 252 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,760 No matter what, I'll keep going. 253 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,040 I will continue to keep going. 254 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:53,080 You know, using a mobility scooter at 39, who cares? 255 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,080 I need it. 256 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,760 It gets me from A to B. It's changed my life. 257 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,440 I'll be honest with you, it's changed my life in a very positive way. 258 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:10,560 And I actually wouldn't change that for anything else because it has done wonders. 259 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:17,920 You know, each tear, and I'll be straight with you, there's been a lot. 260 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,160 I've shed a lot of tears over these last few months. 261 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,560 And I'm not ashamed of that. 262 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:25,560 I have been. 263 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,560 I've had times where I've been ashamed of that. 264 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,840 Not anymore. 265 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,240 Really not anymore. 266 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,040 I'm proud that, do you know what? 267 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,600 I've been in a position where I can shed those tears. 268 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:44,040 I can show that, do you know what? 269 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,520 This thing is evil. 270 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:50,680 It is absolutely evil. 271 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,320 And it's made me feel completely useless at times. 272 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,760 I'll be totally straight with you. 273 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,800 But do you know what? 274 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,400 I'm not useless. 275 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,040 I'm really not useless. 276 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,400 And I am going to keep fighting. 277 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:07,880 Whether it's a good day, whether it's a bad day, I'm going to keep fighting. 278 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,120 And do you know what? 279 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:18,280 As I put down on this piece of paper in front of me, I am going to live my life the very 280 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,080 best way I can. 281 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:31,040 Now I hope, I really hope me showing positivity can help somebody else that maybe isn't quite 282 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,160 able to. 283 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,800 Because that's what I'm doing with all of this. 284 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,040 I really want to help people. 285 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,960 I want to get this all out in the open. 286 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:47,280 So that maybe, and I've said it before, just one person, if I can help just one person, 287 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:54,720 all of this time I sit here talking and opening up about things is absolutely worth it. 288 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,640 Well I think that will do for today. 289 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,640 This is a bit longer of a podcast, so I will apologise for that. 290 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:08,080 But these are things that needed to get out there. 291 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:13,300 So thank you all again. 292 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:18,860 Because each and every one of you that listens to these podcasts, downloads, whatever, each 293 00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:23,840 and every one of you is making me so proud it's unreal. 294 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,320 It really is. 295 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,000 And I do appreciate each and every one of you. 296 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,560 I genuinely do. 297 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,720 Thank you all so much. 298 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:40,680 I hope whatever you're doing over the next day or so, a few days until we speak again, 299 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,120 I hope it's all good. 300 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:49,000 Well thank you all for listening and I will talk to you all again soon. 301 00:20:49,000 --> 00:21:11,160 Bye bye.