1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,320 Hello and welcome to my third podcast. First thing I'd like to say is thank you to everyone 2 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:17,800 that's downloaded and listened. I'm still quite amazed. I mean, I look at my analytics 3 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:24,600 and it tells me I've had X amount of downloads or listens. I have to admit it's making me 4 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:33,640 feel quite proud that people are listening to what I've got to say. Yeah, so thank you. 5 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:41,880 Thank you all. With today, what I would like to talk about is something I've done a video 6 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:54,400 previously on YouTube for and also on my Instagram. But it's about MRI scans and how with myself 7 00:00:54,400 --> 00:01:02,440 I've always been very, very scared of MRI scans to the point I just couldn't get through 8 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:14,560 them. Obviously going through my diagnosis, I needed MRI scan. They put me through a scan 9 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:21,800 at the time nobody knew what the problem was, but they took me in and I had this scan. I 10 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:29,440 got into the machine itself and I physically couldn't stop shaking. I have almost had 11 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:36,760 scans previously and it was a very similar scenario. I was just terrified of the machine 12 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:45,680 itself, how small it was, everything really. To the point we ended up having to go private 13 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:58,880 to open scans and they're not cheap at all. But we'll come to that aspect on another podcast. 14 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:04,400 But we got to a point where realistically I had to find a way of making these scans 15 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:10,760 happen. They needed to give me a brain scan. I'm amazed I actually found a brain to start 16 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:20,240 with to be honest, but there you go. But yeah, we got there. I took some advice from some 17 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:29,960 very good people and I twisted that advice to something I thought might help myself in 18 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:36,480 the days coming up to the scan. I was really plugging it in my own head, how important 19 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:45,600 it was, how necessary it was, the fact that without it, quite honestly, I would never 20 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:53,400 have found out for certain exactly what the problem was. I just couldn't tolerate that 21 00:02:53,400 --> 00:03:02,320 thought deteriorating the way I was. I needed to know. So I thought of a better term, put 22 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:14,600 my big boy pants on and convinced myself that I somehow have to make this scan happen. Now 23 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:23,560 on the day of the scan, I got in there, had a conversation. The gentleman that was in 24 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:30,000 there, the two gentlemen that was in the hospital that day for the scan were brilliant, very 25 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:40,240 calming and relaxing pre scan and good conversation. What I actually did when I walked into the 26 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:45,640 room, I looked at the scanner and I have to be honest with you, I walked in and my stomach 27 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:51,880 dropped, my heart sank. I looked at it and I thought, there we go again, I'm not going 28 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:59,880 to tolerate this. So instead of anything else before we did anything else in that room, 29 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:09,600 I walked over to the scanner and I put my head inside it and just look around to kind 30 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:18,040 of acclimatise myself to exactly what it was I was getting into, the size of the scanner 31 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:24,080 and everything. And it did kind of calm me down. I'll be honest with you, not massively, 32 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:30,680 but it was enough to make me think, right, I know what I'm dealing with, now's the time 33 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:39,680 to try and put everything to one side and just accept what's going to happen. So that 34 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:46,640 helped, just put, dip him ahead into the actual scanner itself. Again, we went through all 35 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:57,040 the pre-scan routines and the gentleman said to me, he said, being as it's a brain scan, 36 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:03,040 he said, we have to put a cage over your head. I had done research, so I knew that was coming, 37 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:08,400 it didn't come as a massive shock to me. So I said to him, I said, that's fine, I said, 38 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:17,360 let's do it. So I'm laying down and he puts his cage over my head with like these glasses 39 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:23,840 type things that sort of mirrored so I can see the nice air balloon display behind me 40 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:34,560 out the back of the scanner. Yeah, that was interesting. But again, I allowed that to 41 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:42,160 happen. And what I had done is I brought a CD with me and I handed the CD to them and 42 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:49,040 I said, can we play this CD while I'm being scanned please? They looked at the CD, they 43 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:58,000 laughed and said, oh, okay, if we have to, it was Brian Adams greatest hits. It'll do, 44 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:06,240 it'll do. So yeah, they said that. They gave me a big set of headphones to go over my head 45 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:17,520 and ears and there I was, laid down on the scanner table and they said, right, they're 46 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:28,080 going to start putting you in. Okay. They put me sort of half of my head into the scanner 47 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:37,520 and I can feel myself starting to get a little bit, a bit twitchy and I'm thinking, how am 48 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:46,080 I going to cope with this? So again, I just thought, right, we've got to go for it. So 49 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:54,960 I said to them, I said, okay. I said, now put me in. So they did. I'm going into the scanner 50 00:06:54,960 --> 00:07:04,640 and I'm starting to get very, very, very scared. To be honest, I was getting very scared until 51 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:11,640 one of the members of staff walked behind the scanner and just very gently touched the 52 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:20,000 top of my head and I could see with the mirrored glasses, I could see actually he didn't even 53 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:27,080 need to fully extend his arm to touch the top of my head. His arm was still bent. Now 54 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:35,320 that reassured me actually, because it felt like, okay, I'm in this, this tunnel. I'm 55 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:44,480 in this scanner. I'm completely in it, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not as, 56 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:51,400 as long and as deep as I thought it was going to be. So actually that calmed me down quite 57 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:57,120 a lot. Now when I went for my last scan, which was an hour long, this, the brain scan was 58 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:05,080 about 20 minutes. The last scan, about an hour, I actually asked the staff that time, 59 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,880 would you mind just coming around the back when I'm in and just, just gently touch the 60 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:17,200 top of my head, which member staff was brilliant, completely obliged. And again, it calmed me 61 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:28,240 right down because it convinced me that I'm not that far in, even though it seems it, 62 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:33,800 which was brilliant. I'm not going to lie. It was absolutely fantastic and it helped 63 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:43,080 to, to an extent. Now, one of the biggest things when they're saying to me, this scan 64 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:48,880 is going to take X amount of time, say four minutes, this scan is going to take four minutes. 65 00:08:48,880 --> 00:09:00,000 I under counted. So instead of counting four minutes, I was counting seconds that were 66 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:05,760 considerably slower. So I'm counting minutes that are probably a minute and a half to two 67 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:11,960 minutes long. And again, I know that might sound really, really quite, quite daft, but 68 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:18,840 actually laying in the scanner, thinking to myself, right, I've got four minutes scan. 69 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:31,000 Let me count one, two, three, four, like that. I've under counted to a point that when the 70 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:36,160 scan is actually done, four minutes scan, I'm on maybe three minutes. So I'm thinking, 71 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:41,080 oh, this is great. It's only taken three minutes for that scan because in my head, I'm convincing 72 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:46,880 myself that the time I'm counting is accurate. We know it's not, but again, it helped. It 73 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:55,520 just, it sort of took the edge off and again, kept me that bit calm. And I got through that 74 00:09:55,520 --> 00:10:03,680 20 minutes scan mostly, mostly with my eyes closed. I did open them occasionally, but 75 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:11,800 mostly with my eyes closed because of the techniques that I'm talking about now. That 76 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:21,400 hour long brain and spine scan I've had actually was large chunks of that. I was laid there 77 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:30,560 with my eyes wide open. And actually at one point I kind of smiled to myself and thought, 78 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:40,720 do you know what? I have actually broken a fear, a genuine, genuine fear because yeah, 79 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:49,880 I find those machines terrifying. Now, actually I'm really not that fussed. I've been in that 80 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:56,720 scanner. Yeah, it's not comfortable. It's not nice. I cannot ever say it will be, but 81 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:05,080 actually what it is, it's there to help because without that, I would never have got my diagnosis 82 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:13,480 and I would still be wondering what's what, wondering why I can't walk very far, wondering 83 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:23,920 why I'm in a lot of pain a lot of times, wondering why I'm falling over a lot. And actually using 84 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:33,040 the techniques that I'm talking about, I managed to get that diagnosis sorted. And again, I 85 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:41,400 won't go into too much detail at the moment because I'm still awaiting apparently my file 86 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:55,920 to go to the MDT unit in Nottingham to confirm what, what stage of MS is I'm suffering from 87 00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:04,560 and also confirm what treatment I'm going to be looking at. I am pretty much aware. 88 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:15,960 I have had a conversation, as I said previously, with the MS coordinator and she has told me 89 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:23,800 what pretty much I'm expecting, which again, a bit scary, but okay, it's fine. You know, 90 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:29,920 we'll deal with this stuff. It's what I do. I'm not one forgiving in, I'm really not one 91 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:40,200 forgiving in at all. And I will stay positive no matter what. But at the same time, again, 92 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:46,080 without getting through them MRI scans, I wouldn't be in a position to be thinking about 93 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:57,840 treatment. So really to, to summarise my personal advice for what's helped me get through an 94 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:09,760 MRI scan is number one, walk into the room, try as hard as you can to have the most positive 95 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:14,600 thought process you can. Don't get me wrong. I totally respect the fact that that's not 96 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:24,160 easy. But if in some way you can convince yourself, okay, this is scary, but I really 97 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:30,120 need to get through this. This is going to help me long term. That's a good thought process 98 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:39,560 to go in with. Number two, walk in and again, as I did, just put your head inside the scanner 99 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:45,360 while you're stood up, just duck your head down, put it inside the scanner and have a 100 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:52,840 look around. And again, for me, I totally respect this stuff's not going to help everyone. 101 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,160 If I can help just a couple of people, one person even to get through a scan with this 102 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:06,160 advice, brilliant. That's my day made. But you go in, put your head inside the scanner, 103 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:14,040 look around it, accept what's there, accept, okay, it is a bit small, but do you know what, 104 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:21,760 at the same time, there's nothing in there that can hurt me. That really could help you 105 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:30,000 once you've done that. Again, once you're inside the scanner, for me, just ask a member 106 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:34,040 of staff, just say, you know, what do you mind just coming around the back and just 107 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:41,200 touching the top of my head? Because again, all that's going to do is convince your brain, 108 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:47,760 convince you that, okay, I am in this thing. I'm not that far in because another person 109 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:54,800 can still get to me. They can still touch me. Take a CD. Not all hospitals will allow 110 00:14:54,800 --> 00:15:00,360 it, but those that do take a CD, something you're going to really enjoy because you 111 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:08,920 can then just lay there and in your head, sing along. Enjoy the music. Even if you're 112 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:14,480 laying there with your eyes closed, just enjoy the music because again, that can be very, 113 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,760 very calming. Music is something I'd be honest with you, I really, really do enjoy and it 114 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:27,120 calms me a lot. Again, not everyone's the same. Totally respect that, but it's worth 115 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:37,920 a try. And finally, when they're telling you the length of the scans, undercount, undercount 116 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:45,920 them because again, for me, it really did help a lot because again, I'm convincing 117 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:50,360 myself a four minute scan is maybe three minutes long. So I've counted the three minutes. 118 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:57,880 Oh, scans finished. Oh, brilliant. Okay. That was quick. Great. Again, it really did help 119 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:07,800 me personally. I hope this advice can help someone because at the end of the day, I do 120 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:12,920 totally understand how scary these things are. They're not nice, but they really are 121 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:23,560 there to help. And if they can help you to get some sort of diagnosis, you can get treatment 122 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:29,200 or whatever else, not just for MS, just for anything that you need a scan for. In the 123 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:36,480 long run, it's got to be worthwhile. And as I say, I do totally respect that it's not 124 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:48,760 nice, but long-term, very helpful. Okay. That's pretty much it for today. I will talk to you 125 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:55,080 all again soon. Thank you for listening. And again, I really do appreciate everyone's downloads 126 00:16:55,080 --> 00:17:02,640 and those are listening. When I check and see even just one download has happened, it 127 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:10,720 puts a massive smile on my face. I'll be honest with you because if me talking about what 128 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:17,800 I've got going on can help someone, do you know what? That's what I'm here for. I want 129 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:25,520 my advice, my talking, just anything. I want that to help someone. Okay. I hope you all 130 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:33,240 have a great day and I will talk to you all again soon. Bye-bye.