Hello and welcome to my third podcast. First thing I'd like to say is thank you to everyone
that's downloaded and listened. I'm still quite amazed. I mean, I look at my analytics
and it tells me I've had X amount of downloads or listens. I have to admit it's making me
feel quite proud that people are listening to what I've got to say. Yeah, so thank you.
Thank you all. With today, what I would like to talk about is something I've done a video
previously on YouTube for and also on my Instagram. But it's about MRI scans and how with myself
I've always been very, very scared of MRI scans to the point I just couldn't get through
them. Obviously going through my diagnosis, I needed MRI scan. They put me through a scan
at the time nobody knew what the problem was, but they took me in and I had this scan. I
got into the machine itself and I physically couldn't stop shaking. I have almost had
scans previously and it was a very similar scenario. I was just terrified of the machine
itself, how small it was, everything really. To the point we ended up having to go private
to open scans and they're not cheap at all. But we'll come to that aspect on another podcast.
But we got to a point where realistically I had to find a way of making these scans
happen. They needed to give me a brain scan. I'm amazed I actually found a brain to start
with to be honest, but there you go. But yeah, we got there. I took some advice from some
very good people and I twisted that advice to something I thought might help myself in
the days coming up to the scan. I was really plugging it in my own head, how important
it was, how necessary it was, the fact that without it, quite honestly, I would never
have found out for certain exactly what the problem was. I just couldn't tolerate that
thought deteriorating the way I was. I needed to know. So I thought of a better term, put
my big boy pants on and convinced myself that I somehow have to make this scan happen. Now
on the day of the scan, I got in there, had a conversation. The gentleman that was in
there, the two gentlemen that was in the hospital that day for the scan were brilliant, very
calming and relaxing pre scan and good conversation. What I actually did when I walked into the
room, I looked at the scanner and I have to be honest with you, I walked in and my stomach
dropped, my heart sank. I looked at it and I thought, there we go again, I'm not going
to tolerate this. So instead of anything else before we did anything else in that room,
I walked over to the scanner and I put my head inside it and just look around to kind
of acclimatise myself to exactly what it was I was getting into, the size of the scanner
and everything. And it did kind of calm me down. I'll be honest with you, not massively,
but it was enough to make me think, right, I know what I'm dealing with, now's the time
to try and put everything to one side and just accept what's going to happen. So that
helped, just put, dip him ahead into the actual scanner itself. Again, we went through all
the pre-scan routines and the gentleman said to me, he said, being as it's a brain scan,
he said, we have to put a cage over your head. I had done research, so I knew that was coming,
it didn't come as a massive shock to me. So I said to him, I said, that's fine, I said,
let's do it. So I'm laying down and he puts his cage over my head with like these glasses
type things that sort of mirrored so I can see the nice air balloon display behind me
out the back of the scanner. Yeah, that was interesting. But again, I allowed that to
happen. And what I had done is I brought a CD with me and I handed the CD to them and
I said, can we play this CD while I'm being scanned please? They looked at the CD, they
laughed and said, oh, okay, if we have to, it was Brian Adams greatest hits. It'll do,
it'll do. So yeah, they said that. They gave me a big set of headphones to go over my head
and ears and there I was, laid down on the scanner table and they said, right, they're
going to start putting you in. Okay. They put me sort of half of my head into the scanner
and I can feel myself starting to get a little bit, a bit twitchy and I'm thinking, how am
I going to cope with this? So again, I just thought, right, we've got to go for it. So
I said to them, I said, okay. I said, now put me in. So they did. I'm going into the scanner
and I'm starting to get very, very, very scared. To be honest, I was getting very scared until
one of the members of staff walked behind the scanner and just very gently touched the
top of my head and I could see with the mirrored glasses, I could see actually he didn't even
need to fully extend his arm to touch the top of my head. His arm was still bent. Now
that reassured me actually, because it felt like, okay, I'm in this, this tunnel. I'm
in this scanner. I'm completely in it, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not as,
as long and as deep as I thought it was going to be. So actually that calmed me down quite
a lot. Now when I went for my last scan, which was an hour long, this, the brain scan was
about 20 minutes. The last scan, about an hour, I actually asked the staff that time,
would you mind just coming around the back when I'm in and just, just gently touch the
top of my head, which member staff was brilliant, completely obliged. And again, it calmed me
right down because it convinced me that I'm not that far in, even though it seems it,
which was brilliant. I'm not going to lie. It was absolutely fantastic and it helped
to, to an extent. Now, one of the biggest things when they're saying to me, this scan
is going to take X amount of time, say four minutes, this scan is going to take four minutes.
I under counted. So instead of counting four minutes, I was counting seconds that were
considerably slower. So I'm counting minutes that are probably a minute and a half to two
minutes long. And again, I know that might sound really, really quite, quite daft, but
actually laying in the scanner, thinking to myself, right, I've got four minutes scan.
Let me count one, two, three, four, like that. I've under counted to a point that when the
scan is actually done, four minutes scan, I'm on maybe three minutes. So I'm thinking,
oh, this is great. It's only taken three minutes for that scan because in my head, I'm convincing
myself that the time I'm counting is accurate. We know it's not, but again, it helped. It
just, it sort of took the edge off and again, kept me that bit calm. And I got through that
20 minutes scan mostly, mostly with my eyes closed. I did open them occasionally, but
mostly with my eyes closed because of the techniques that I'm talking about now. That
hour long brain and spine scan I've had actually was large chunks of that. I was laid there
with my eyes wide open. And actually at one point I kind of smiled to myself and thought,
do you know what? I have actually broken a fear, a genuine, genuine fear because yeah,
I find those machines terrifying. Now, actually I'm really not that fussed. I've been in that
scanner. Yeah, it's not comfortable. It's not nice. I cannot ever say it will be, but
actually what it is, it's there to help because without that, I would never have got my diagnosis
and I would still be wondering what's what, wondering why I can't walk very far, wondering
why I'm in a lot of pain a lot of times, wondering why I'm falling over a lot. And actually using
the techniques that I'm talking about, I managed to get that diagnosis sorted. And again, I
won't go into too much detail at the moment because I'm still awaiting apparently my file
to go to the MDT unit in Nottingham to confirm what, what stage of MS is I'm suffering from
and also confirm what treatment I'm going to be looking at. I am pretty much aware.
I have had a conversation, as I said previously, with the MS coordinator and she has told me
what pretty much I'm expecting, which again, a bit scary, but okay, it's fine. You know,
we'll deal with this stuff. It's what I do. I'm not one forgiving in, I'm really not one
forgiving in at all. And I will stay positive no matter what. But at the same time, again,
without getting through them MRI scans, I wouldn't be in a position to be thinking about
treatment. So really to, to summarise my personal advice for what's helped me get through an
MRI scan is number one, walk into the room, try as hard as you can to have the most positive
thought process you can. Don't get me wrong. I totally respect the fact that that's not
easy. But if in some way you can convince yourself, okay, this is scary, but I really
need to get through this. This is going to help me long term. That's a good thought process
to go in with. Number two, walk in and again, as I did, just put your head inside the scanner
while you're stood up, just duck your head down, put it inside the scanner and have a
look around. And again, for me, I totally respect this stuff's not going to help everyone.
If I can help just a couple of people, one person even to get through a scan with this
advice, brilliant. That's my day made. But you go in, put your head inside the scanner,
look around it, accept what's there, accept, okay, it is a bit small, but do you know what,
at the same time, there's nothing in there that can hurt me. That really could help you
once you've done that. Again, once you're inside the scanner, for me, just ask a member
of staff, just say, you know, what do you mind just coming around the back and just
touching the top of my head? Because again, all that's going to do is convince your brain,
convince you that, okay, I am in this thing. I'm not that far in because another person
can still get to me. They can still touch me. Take a CD. Not all hospitals will allow
it, but those that do take a CD, something you're going to really enjoy because you
can then just lay there and in your head, sing along. Enjoy the music. Even if you're
laying there with your eyes closed, just enjoy the music because again, that can be very,
very calming. Music is something I'd be honest with you, I really, really do enjoy and it
calms me a lot. Again, not everyone's the same. Totally respect that, but it's worth
a try. And finally, when they're telling you the length of the scans, undercount, undercount
them because again, for me, it really did help a lot because again, I'm convincing
myself a four minute scan is maybe three minutes long. So I've counted the three minutes.
Oh, scans finished. Oh, brilliant. Okay. That was quick. Great. Again, it really did help
me personally. I hope this advice can help someone because at the end of the day, I do
totally understand how scary these things are. They're not nice, but they really are
there to help. And if they can help you to get some sort of diagnosis, you can get treatment
or whatever else, not just for MS, just for anything that you need a scan for. In the
long run, it's got to be worthwhile. And as I say, I do totally respect that it's not
nice, but long-term, very helpful. Okay. That's pretty much it for today. I will talk to you
all again soon. Thank you for listening. And again, I really do appreciate everyone's downloads
and those are listening. When I check and see even just one download has happened, it
puts a massive smile on my face. I'll be honest with you because if me talking about what
I've got going on can help someone, do you know what? That's what I'm here for. I want
my advice, my talking, just anything. I want that to help someone. Okay. I hope you all
have a great day and I will talk to you all again soon. Bye-bye.