1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,760 Hello and welcome to another My MS Journey podcast. This week I think there's 2 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:09,720 only really one place to start I'm gonna be honest with you and that's we've got 3 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:16,740 to talk about. It's March which means it's MS Awareness Month. Now MS Awareness 4 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:23,320 Month actually is only in the United States. I know that came as a shock to me 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:27,320 I'm gonna be totally honest it really came as a shock to me because I actually 6 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:33,600 thought it was a bit of a kind of a worldwide thing to an extent so when I 7 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:40,480 spoke to the MS Society and asked the question because I actually wrote a 8 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:47,640 column on MS News today about MS Awareness Month and the MS Society 9 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:53,420 said to me actually it isn't in the United Kingdom and I'm thinking to 10 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:59,680 myself do you know what what a wasted opportunity genuinely a wasted 11 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:08,160 opportunity because let's be totally honest if we came together as a planet 12 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:14,840 I'm gonna be straight as a planet and actually had the Awareness Month as a 13 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:21,080 full world thing do you know what actually it's probably a better and more 14 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:28,640 compact way of doing things because as it stands we have MS Awareness Month in 15 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:37,520 the United States through March we have in April in the United Kingdom we have 16 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:46,980 MS Awareness Week and then in May we have World MS Day it just doesn't make 17 00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:52,600 sense does it in the space of March April May there's all these different 18 00:01:52,600 --> 00:02:00,120 different events for MS now I think that's crazy I'm gonna be honest I really 19 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:06,520 really do and I'll explain why because when you think about the fact that we're 20 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:11,320 we're trying to get the knowledge and condition out to people trying to make 21 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:19,060 people with MS realize that one you're not on your own there's other people 22 00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:26,480 out there that are going through all of the things that MS gives you and let's 23 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,960 be totally honest as we were all very well know no two people are the same 24 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:36,200 there's a reason MS is nicknamed the snowflake disease and it's not because 25 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:42,920 we're snowflakes we're just not it is because same as snowflakes no two are the 26 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:49,520 same and that is just the way is I'm afraid it's just the fact no two of us 27 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:54,160 are the same we all go through things differently we all feel things 28 00:02:54,160 --> 00:03:00,920 differently and again we'll think differently we're human beings kind of 29 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:06,720 the joy of being a human being I'm gonna be honest but anyway that's a conversation 30 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:13,400 for another week but yeah the fact of the matter is for me personally I think 31 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:22,360 streamlining it into one just just one time that we can sit and discuss and get 32 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:28,440 the word out about MS I think that's more beneficial than mixing it all up 33 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:34,680 having it all different and at different times now even if we was to streamline 34 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:41,480 it from a month to say two weeks but we do it as a as a world as a community 35 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:48,440 all come together and we all spread the word at the same time just makes more 36 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:54,760 sense just makes more sense now what I will say and I'm going to be totally 37 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:59,520 honest for me and this is the next thing I want to talk about is what MS 38 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:06,600 awareness month actually means to me because actually to me it's incredibly 39 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:14,040 important and as I say I'm in I'm in England so technically I'm not supposed 40 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:21,320 to have anything to do with MS awareness month no no we're not playing that game 41 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:25,400 I'm having everything I'm possibly to do with it I'm gonna do and I'll do the 42 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:32,600 same during awareness week and I'll do MS awareness day world MS awareness day 43 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,920 in May because anytime we can talk about the condition it's a really good thing 44 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:42,840 because let's be fair you know I'm not gonna go into exact numbers but not far 45 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:49,880 over two million people worldwide is the number they they believe is diagnosed 46 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,960 with multiple sclerosis now you're talking millions of billions sorry 47 00:04:53,960 --> 00:05:00,000 billions of people on the planet so it's such a small percentage it really is it's 48 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,160 such a small percentage that you've got to ask yourself what can we do to help 49 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:15,800 other people who don't have much to do with anyone with MS what could we help 50 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:21,080 them do to understand now there is a few things I'm gonna be honest there is a 51 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:27,720 few things now firstly and I think probably the biggest one is just we 52 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:35,280 talk openly about the condition again I'm not a doctor and I will never give 53 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:39,920 medical advice I will never try and explain things in medical terms and 54 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:48,720 whatever else but if we if we just talk about how the condition affects each of 55 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:55,920 us individually without prejudice without anyone saying to us oh you 56 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,560 shouldn't be saying this or you shouldn't be saying that no no we say 57 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:04,320 what we want to say and what we need to say to get the word out and let people 58 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:11,960 know how it feels to live with the condition now I think the biggest thing 59 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:19,800 in that is the more of us that do it the more it's going to leak over into into 60 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:25,480 the mainstream and that's where it becomes really positive it genuinely 61 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:32,560 that point becomes very positive because when people are hearing us talking 62 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:42,800 openly it makes everyone realize that we aren't just a medical condition you know 63 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,880 it's a chronic illness it doesn't go away there is no there's no cure for MS 64 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:53,040 anyone that tells you to take a parasite cleanse just just yeah just tell them 65 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:58,600 where to go because it just it's not true there is no such thing as a parasite 66 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,920 cleanse to cure MS and it's one I do hear quite a bit I'm going to be honest 67 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:09,760 with you and I feel embarrassed for those that say it but again it's one of 68 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:16,720 them that we can talk openly about and if we feel confident enough to discuss 69 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:22,880 that then that's a real good thing is it's a real good thing because again 70 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,480 then those people that are making those sort of comments are going to learn and 71 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:32,520 understand actually I sound like a bit of an idiot by saying it I just 72 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:40,760 shouldn't say oh the parasites inside you once you clear them you'll be cured 73 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:51,040 no no I'm I'm genuinely genuinely won't and the other thing is when we're 74 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:58,280 talking openly and somebody says the likes of oh I knew blah blah down the 75 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:08,800 road he had MS and he's cured now he's perfectly fine if he had MS he wouldn't 76 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:16,880 be cured he just wouldn't or he'd be a very very rich person that's just a fact 77 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:23,040 it should be very very rich because chances are they know somebody with 78 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:27,600 relapse in remitting MS and at the current time they're in remission and 79 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:34,680 not having and not suffering any obvious effects doesn't mean the non-obvious 80 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:41,000 stuff isn't around because a guarantee is but again the more we talk the more 81 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:45,640 we get people to understand this sort of stuff and again that then becomes 82 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:52,480 really really positive because it's it's a strange old thing it is a strange old 83 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:59,600 thing having that kind of thought process of I'm gonna talk openly about 84 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:05,200 my medical condition because let's be fair a lot of times you don't want to 85 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:12,240 you know you think to yourself is it the right thing to do it is it really is 86 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:17,200 it's the only way we build knowledge and again it's MS awareness month this is 87 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:23,400 the time for us to have those conversations this is the time for us to 88 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:29,480 to be as open as we can about the condition and let people understand what 89 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:34,560 we go through and how we deal with it because again I think what there needs 90 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:41,800 to also be is the the side of things where okay when things are bad everyone 91 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:46,720 needs to know but actually when we're doing well I need to know that too 92 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:52,280 because again at a later date when somebody else gets diagnosed they need 93 00:09:52,280 --> 00:10:00,720 to understand that there is two different sides to life you've got MS 94 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:07,080 and you've got the life you want to lead and again that's a big thing by by us 95 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,800 being open in that manner people can understand both sides of life because 96 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:17,800 again I'm gonna be totally honest it ain't all sunshine and roses having MS 97 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:23,320 it really isn't it's evil it's an evil evil medical condition that's just a 98 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:35,280 fact don't matter what you say that's nailed on but if you want to live a good 99 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:44,160 life happy life with the condition you can you really really can because okay 100 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,400 you've got to make some changes to how you live your life the way you do things 101 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:54,080 and whatever else but you can do that and once you've done that you find a way 102 00:10:54,080 --> 00:11:00,540 to carry on and you find a way to to live alongside and live the way that you 103 00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:07,160 want to live so again this all comes down to the fact the more we talk and 104 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:14,800 the more open we are the better because again that way it brings more people 105 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:20,080 into play everyone starts to understand the condition give me a second I'm just 106 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:27,160 gonna have some of my water that is the chair creaking I promise 107 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:32,680 got a glass of water sitting around 108 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,920 that's the thing we're coming on and talking a lot you've got to have a drink 109 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:41,240 and now me blanket on the back of my chairs decided to fall maybe all right 110 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:46,520 not a problem he's okay but yeah I mean that's that's the sort of thing in terms 111 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:54,520 of talking and being open about MS and the way it looks out it looks at us and 112 00:11:54,520 --> 00:12:00,000 the way it treats us and the way we can treat ourselves but the other thing for 113 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:08,000 me about switching things up and doing a more targeted worldwide approach in one 114 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:14,040 hit it doesn't stretch things out too far because what we don't want to do and 115 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:20,000 I'm gonna be totally honest what we really don't want to do is when we're 116 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,720 talking and we're being open about condition and whatever else if it goes 117 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:28,240 on too long people are gonna get sick and tired of hearing it and you don't 118 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,720 blame them the hot everyone's the same in that respect you've got to get sick 119 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:37,200 and tired of hearing it because what we don't want to do is bore people to death 120 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:43,760 you just don't because if we do that then nobody's gonna care and they're 121 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:48,840 gonna get frustrated and they're gonna say to us be quiet we don't want to hear 122 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:53,840 it so in all truth there's the the element of trying to condense things 123 00:12:53,840 --> 00:13:01,600 down into one bite-sized time to get everything out and that's where it's 124 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:09,840 down to us as a community in my opinion to to find the way to find the right way 125 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:16,520 to to get things out get things in the open but not have it to rot in your face 126 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:21,400 everything's right there and it's eating away at people because again 127 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:28,400 there's ways of doing this stuff and I'm just a normal everyday fella I'm as 128 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:33,760 simple as that you know I'm not trained in in media I sit here and do this 129 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:38,080 podcast I do my social medias all that sort of stuff but I'm not trained in 130 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:42,760 media so again others that that know more about that side of life might be 131 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:47,560 about say to me actually you know this might work that might work I'm open to 132 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:52,000 it because again I'm still learning I know this podcast well over a year old 133 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:58,200 now I've been going a long time but there's always way always ways to learn 134 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:03,640 there's always things I can learn now and again by doing things in a bite-sized 135 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:10,280 chunk like that with it being more targeted maybe we can get things out in 136 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,440 the mainstream media a bit more 137 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:20,560 because again you get things out in the mainstream media and we get I don't know 138 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:27,320 get medical professionals involved the best people are warriors like ourselves 139 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:32,680 you know when you've got MS warriors themselves that are talking about the 140 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,800 condition that's the best way to do it because in all truth nobody knows better 141 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,840 than those are going through it a textbook is amazing it's a fantastic 142 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:48,360 thing life experience is the one that's the way it is I'm afraid I will always 143 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,560 believe that no matter what the situation life experience is always 144 00:14:52,560 --> 00:15:00,680 always going to be the the best now coming away from that side of it a 145 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:09,040 little bit and thinking about again with regards to an awareness month like is 146 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,520 going on 147 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:18,960 having it advertised more now again I'm not in the United States so I can't say 148 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:27,140 what what if any ad advertising is going on but having it advertised and again 149 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:33,120 trying to bring people in from overseas to talk about the condition again it 150 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:41,560 kind of it forces the openness and from my point of view you know when we next 151 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:47,960 month when we have MS awareness week I really hope to see orange everywhere 152 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,960 don't care don't you know I'm not bothered about where I'm seeing it as 153 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:56,240 long as I'm seeing the color orange and I'm hearing people talk about it and I 154 00:15:56,240 --> 00:16:00,800 want to turn the news on and I want to see people being interviewed because 155 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:05,600 again that's how to get the knowledge out and I love nothing more than going 156 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,120 on and doing doing my lives on social media and whatever else and having new 157 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:18,840 people come in ask questions even if they're not got any kind of connection 158 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:26,000 to multiple sclerosis anywhere come in and ask questions sensible questions 159 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:31,000 because that way actually we can look at things and think people are learning 160 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:36,120 people want to learn and if people want to learn we go in the right way we're 161 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:43,840 pushing in the right direction and again there's different ways of doing this 162 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:48,600 stuff now for me it was a big thing I'll be honest with it was a real big thing 163 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:52,560 me wanting to come on and do this this episode where I'm talking about MS 164 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,280 awareness month 165 00:16:55,520 --> 00:17:01,480 but as I say I've also written that column that is on MS news today it's 166 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,640 available on their website by all means go and have a read because I've had some 167 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,520 real positive feedback off of it I'm gonna be honest some of the comments 168 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:15,920 I've had have been lovely really really nice and again I have no journalism 169 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:21,720 experience so I'm kind of learning as I'm going I'm doing it I'm getting there 170 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:30,500 slowly very very slowly now in terms of multiple sclerosis itself and I'm gonna 171 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:35,920 do a very very basic overview of what the condition actually is and I do mean 172 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:44,120 it's basic and that's for anyone that is listening in that wants to just learn a 173 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:49,400 little bit now I've already made clear there is no cure and that's just a fact 174 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:55,480 there is treatment all the treatment is there to do is to try and slow 175 00:17:55,480 --> 00:18:00,640 progression a bit that's all it's gonna do it's not gonna it's not gonna cure 176 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:04,360 you you're not all of a sudden gonna wake up one morning and go oh I haven't 177 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:15,920 got MS anymore it just isn't gonna happen but if it can slow the roll and 178 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:23,520 keep you going on a more positive footing so to speak it's worthwhile I 179 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:29,120 mean myself I'm on okravis okra lose a map which is once every six months I go 180 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:38,000 and have an infusion and I'll be honest with you it kind of to me personally 181 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:44,280 I've had the two first half bags and the second full bag so this would be the 182 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,480 start of year two in about two or three weeks I've got my next next treatment 183 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:53,880 now I'm ready for it I know I'm ready for it my body feels like it's it's 184 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:58,680 ready to go it needs a bit more juice in there to try and help it along a little 185 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:06,640 bit but again that that is what that is but multiple sclerosis itself as I say 186 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:11,720 chronic medical condition and the real real bones of it the real the real 187 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:17,520 basics is it's where your central nervous system gets attacked by your 188 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:23,160 immune system and your immune system it strips away the myelin which is like a 189 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:29,000 it's like a fatty sheath around your nerves and it strips it away in places leaving 190 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:37,040 scars or lesions whichever way you want to put it I must admit for me I use the 191 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:46,400 term lesions and most people do now with regards to to that what what you've 192 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,680 basically got then is the signals are not getting sent around your body 193 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:59,880 properly so if you strip off the coating on a wire and you're left with just the 194 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:04,280 actual wires themselves electricity is going off in weird and wonderful places 195 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:10,760 it's just not going to work and again you strip away that myelin sheath off of 196 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:16,760 your nerves things don't get sent around your body in the correct manner and the 197 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:24,240 cold hard factor that is it then leaves you in a position where disability 198 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:29,120 movement just about everything I mean it affects your brain it can affect your 199 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:34,520 optic nerves literally all of that sort of stuff it's a condition that is 200 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:42,120 genuinely evil because as I say one you can't get cured 201 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:52,040 and two with regards to to MS it is for some a hidden disability for myself I'm 202 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:57,680 sat here now and I don't look like there's anything wrong with me I'm looking 203 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:03,920 at my camera I'm waving to my camera hello to those on on social media and 204 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:13,760 whatever else but in all truth when I stand up and start walking you can tell 205 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:18,560 the disability is there now on my belt right now and you know what for those 206 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:27,440 that are actually watching I am gonna show you what I've got here because this 207 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:36,400 little thing my FES machine functional electrical stimulation box now what that 208 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:42,200 does it connects to two little electrodes on my leg which are sticky 209 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:48,840 they come off at night and I put them back on of a morning thankfully this 210 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:54,040 little box what it does it makes it safer for me to walk because again for 211 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:58,640 me personally it's not necessarily a hidden disability when I'm stood up 212 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:04,840 because I stand and I walk without that little box and my toes drag on the 213 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:12,120 floor it's called foot drop now with them dragging on the floor you're looking 214 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:17,880 at trips falls all of that sort of stuff that can occur but that little box right 215 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:24,200 there that I'm showing to the camera now that little box helps me walk a bit 216 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:30,840 safer now can't walk any further I cannot walk any further I can't walk any 217 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:39,320 faster but it's safer when I am up on the feet it's not quite so so dangerous 218 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:44,640 for me to be so you know I can I can wander a little bit around and whatever 219 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:49,120 else from nipping to the shop or whatever yeah I can do that it's okay 220 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:57,040 jump on a mobility school get off outside the shop all round so again for 221 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:02,920 some it's a hidden disability for others it isn't comes back to what I was saying 222 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:11,480 earlier in the show about everyone being different because we are that's that's 223 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:16,040 just the way of things now I'm not going to go too much further into it I think 224 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,760 I mean I've spent almost 25 minutes talking about MS awareness month and 225 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:29,520 whatever else and that very brief overview of what MS does what it is now 226 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,880 there is a summit also I'm going to talk about this is quite quite important it's 227 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:39,320 quite quite a big thing something I'm looking forward to and I'm also going to 228 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:47,560 make mention to the MRI scan I had a couple of weeks ago let me just wet my 229 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,400 whistle a little bit 230 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,000 probably should have made myself a coffee would have made more sense 231 00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:03,480 wouldn't it anyway so let's start with the MRI because I'm gonna be honest I 232 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:10,720 found I actually genuinely failed you know I've taught myself in the past 233 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:18,640 little tricks and tips to not be afraid of the MRI scanner and the night before 234 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:24,200 my scan I actually had a panic attack I didn't make no sense and I was making 235 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:28,120 myself worse by saying to myself you're being really silly you've you've got 236 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:34,160 over this fear you don't need to carry on thinking about it 237 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:41,800 but I did and the next morning come around and I woke up got myself sorted 238 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:46,920 jump to the mobility scooter went down to the hospital and even when I'm on my 239 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,400 scooter I'm listening to a bit of music and I'm thinking to myself I've got this 240 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,400 you know I'm actually quite looking forward to it and it wasn't until I 241 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:59,200 walked into the scanner room we even got the cannula in ready for them to 242 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:06,520 do the contrast dye wasn't till I walked into the room and I totally and utterly 243 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:11,680 froze I couldn't believe it now I will say the members of staff that were in 244 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,400 there they was brilliant with me you know what I was absolutely fantastic 245 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:21,000 they were so respectful very very helpful and they they did all they could 246 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:25,800 to keep me calm actually no matter what I was trying I couldn't keep calm 247 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:33,040 because I was angry with myself so the scan did fail I have got 248 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:38,400 another one booked that's coming on Saturday this this coming Saturday and 249 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:45,640 you know what I'm chomping at the bit for this because I failed it once I am 250 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:51,200 not doing it again I am not doing it again I need the scan for my treatment 251 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:57,480 I'm having the scan this time and I will not allow myself to go through what I 252 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,680 went through last time because again it just it made no sense it really didn't 253 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:08,600 it was so confusing for myself because I'm thinking you've you've beat this 254 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:13,120 fear and even to the point I did everything I normally do and I felt fine 255 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:17,000 but it was just the thought of laying on the bed and getting into the scanner I 256 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:21,680 just couldn't couldn't go through with it and whatever else I mean I did get on 257 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,080 the bed and they put the cage over my head and whatever else to do the brain 258 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:31,400 scan no no fear just just and you know what it might not have even been fear I 259 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:36,720 don't know what it was it was just it made no sense 260 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:43,200 it genuinely it made no sense at all but you know here's what it is it's one of 261 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:51,560 those things I'm over it I'm past it and I will not allow it to happen again we 262 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:58,480 all live and learn don't we we all live and learn but on top of that something 263 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:07,240 quite important has happened now I I'm 40 years old I've 41 this year I've 264 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:12,640 never passed my driving test I've passed the theory test a couple of times in the 265 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:21,440 past I think it's three times actually but I've never passed the practical and 266 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:28,120 since having the issues with my legs and whatever else and MS coming into my life 267 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:32,320 I've been a bit a bit concerned about that learning to drive and getting 268 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:38,040 behind a wheel but after having conversations with the DVLA and the 269 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:46,120 doctors I've been given the all clear I've been told I can learn to drive 270 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:51,400 absolute worst case I can drive an adapted car whereby the pedals aren't on 271 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:57,800 the floor they get put on steering wheel and that way I can sort of do stop go 272 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:06,160 all that sort of stuff by hand and it's not then a it's not it takes the feet 273 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,360 out of play now I only want to drive automatic anyway so it's only my right 274 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:15,520 foot that needs to do any work at all the left foot can just have a snooze and 275 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:23,240 forget it exists for the time I'm in the car but I have already booked my theory 276 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:30,800 test and I'm really looking forward to it that's also Saturday yeah I've got my 277 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:38,320 theory test on Saturday I think is about midday and then at 430 I believe it is 278 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:48,040 it's MRI scan so I hope I really really hope come Friday night I can be a little 279 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:56,760 bit excited one passing the theory test and two getting through the scan because 280 00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:02,960 again the thought of having the freedom of 281 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:09,000 kind of grab a coffee you know if there's nothing going on and just jump in 282 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,440 the car from I'm on me own with nothing going on jumping a car nip up and go and 283 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:22,160 grab a coffee go shopping take Lisa out take my dad out you know he's for years 284 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:28,680 and years bless him taking it taking us around take my brother out take the kids 285 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:33,360 out take everyone out I'm not fussed just whatever I can jump in the car and 286 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:38,320 say right let's let's go somewhere let's go and do something that to me is 287 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:44,080 something that that really does quite excite me the thought of being able to 288 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:52,760 do that is pretty awesome so yeah I'm quite excited I'm gonna be honest now 289 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,160 I'm not putting massive pressure on myself to pass my theory first time I 290 00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:03,040 really want to really really really want to and I'm gonna do everything in my 291 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:08,840 power to do so but if I don't it's not the end of the world because I will come 292 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:15,760 back and try again because you know what literally just a couple of weeks ago 293 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:22,840 that I'm thinking to myself I probably never will drive and it's something that 294 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:29,520 I want to do I really really really want to be I do I want to have that that kind 295 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:35,520 of freedom because again I mean it's at some point in the near future we are 296 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:41,720 looking at moving house we're looking at going to a whole new area but I want to 297 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:46,680 be able to do that and explore the area I'm about jumping the car because again 298 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:51,760 mobility scooters great I absolutely love my mobility scooter I really do 299 00:30:51,760 --> 00:31:00,200 Shelby amazing brilliant bit of kit but can only take me so far whereas a car 300 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:07,040 can take me as far as it wants while it's got fuel in it it can take me where 301 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:13,080 I want to go so fingers crossed fingers crossed Saturday could hopefully be a 302 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:18,160 very very big day it really really could 303 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:27,120 are we gonna be honest I think the next thing I really want to talk about is 304 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:35,360 the way I've been recently and I'm gonna be quite open I am actually gonna be 305 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:40,280 quite open because a lot of people around me have noticed that I've been a 306 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:47,920 bit a bit down and a bit negative recently and actually I don't quite know 307 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:54,840 why because right now I'm gonna be totally honest I feel so bubbly it's 308 00:31:54,840 --> 00:32:01,400 unreal I genuinely genuinely do so I don't quite know why it's one of them 309 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:08,880 that I'm wondering if it's a throwback again to the the fact that for so many 310 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:15,200 years of my life I've been out been working been doing stuff and now I'm 311 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:20,920 not easy that my brain is sort of fighting back a little bit saying 312 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:25,840 actually you should be doing this or you should be doing that when in all facts 313 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:31,600 I'm busier now than I've ever been before really really am I am so much 314 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:39,320 busier now than I've ever been before and actually I feel happier for it I 315 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:50,480 really do I feel a lot happier for it I'm a lot more positive about things to 316 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:57,320 come I'm a lot more positive about where I'm heading and yeah I'll be honest 317 00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:02,480 with you I'm hoping I've turned a bit of a corner I'm hoping I've turned a bit of 318 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:08,120 a corner because let's be totally straight you know I've got this podcast 319 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:16,440 that I do I love doing I genuinely have all of the things I do recording this 320 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:24,560 podcast is it's still my number one he's genuinely still my number one because 321 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:30,920 again I do get so many positive comments off it and it's helped other 322 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:38,640 people I know it has I've been told so and again it helps me because talking 323 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:44,720 about your issues it's the right way to do it not letting them just sit and sort 324 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:49,080 of festering your head and whatever else it's the right way forward it's 325 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:53,400 definitely the right way forward and this this is the way I like to get things 326 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:58,880 out it's a bit easier now coming away from that a little bit I'm going to 327 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:04,040 explain something that happened yesterday because I was out here in my 328 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:14,000 studio and I took a bit of a fall probably my fault above all else I got 329 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:18,640 two carpets I had two carpets on the floor I knew the carpet on the top had 330 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:24,520 bunched up my chair got stuck so I tried to ram my chair back so I could get up 331 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:34,440 to go indoors and chair got cold I fell and I broke my laptop screen actually 332 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:41,040 broke my laptop screen when I fell I hit my head as well but that's cheaper to 333 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:46,600 fix you know my head's alright just teasing just teasing but no I did I 334 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:51,880 broke my laptop screen so today I've had a new monitor turn up so I've just got 335 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:56,960 to sort of learn now to use the laptop as a keyboard and use the other the other 336 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,440 screen the bigger screen as the monitor which is kind of cool because I'm sat 337 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:07,400 here now and I've got my camera up on me me gaming monitor and I've got the other 338 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,480 the other monitor sat there where I'm watching myself chatting away and 339 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:17,440 whatever else and actually you know what it's it's making me feel a bit more 340 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:22,320 confident and a bit more comfortable with it all I'm kind of yeah I'm a bit 341 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:26,480 of a fan and it's also given me the potential and the possibility of sort of 342 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,560 move my chair a little bit and brought the microphone to a different part of 343 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:37,360 the room I've opened it up a little bit so you can see walls I've got an MS 344 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:42,840 shirt on me door I've got me four medals that on the door three of those are for 345 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:52,280 raising money for the MS Society and the blue one is back in 2016 my six aside 346 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:58,520 team we won our league now I'm gonna be fair for me I didn't play many games in 347 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:04,840 that because at the time I was falling over lots now I know why I was yeah I 348 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:09,080 was doing a lot of falling so I'm more managed the team than anything else but 349 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:14,240 again somewhat positive but yeah I mean that's that's the whole point so I've 350 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:18,320 had that that bit of a spill yesterday and again it's kind of opened me up 351 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:25,280 again to remember that stuff does happen it does happen I was laid on the floor 352 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:31,520 for a little while and thankfully I got support both Lisa and my dad managed to 353 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:37,520 come and get me and take me back indoors I will say I am fine let me put that out 354 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,840 there now I am fine I've got a little bit of redness on me on my forehead I 355 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:46,720 should stop touching it because it's a bit sort of touch but yeah other than 356 00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:56,680 that I'm okay I'm okay well I'm gonna call that an end for this week do you 357 00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:01,920 know what thoroughly enjoyed recording this really really have and as I say MS 358 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:08,040 awareness week if you're able jump on social media talk MS awareness week MS 359 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:15,400 aware I mean I will get my words out MS awareness month in the United States 360 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:21,520 doesn't mean we can't get the word out let's do so worldwide let's all talk 361 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:27,400 about MS let's get the world talking about this condition because it's the 362 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:33,040 only way everyone's gonna learn about it I hope you all have a really great week 363 00:37:33,040 --> 00:38:00,320 I'll speak to you soon bye bye