1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,440 Well hello, how is everyone? 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,080 It is Christmas, sat here Christmas Eve 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:11,440 I can't wait for tomorrow. How is everyone? 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,280 How have you all been? I know it's been a little while 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,960 since I've come on and said hello and explained how things are 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:25,000 but I'm trying to change things up a little bit I'm trying to make 7 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,120 this podcast a little bit more 8 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:31,320 entertaining for everyone I'm trying to 9 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,960 to change how things are done I'm trying to 10 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:39,000 properly learn how to edit because let's be totally honest I've been doing this 11 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,600 for over a year now 12 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:45,880 I've never actually learned proper editing or anything like that 13 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,320 which I wouldn't mind figuring out how it's done 14 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,960 if that means I can improve 15 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,000 how this all goes for you all listening 16 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:02,480 well as I've just explained there 17 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,600 it's going to be new ways of doing the podcast 18 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,600 I'm going to be doing it, I may mean to do shows a little bit longer 19 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:16,760 you know doing 25 minutes half an hour 20 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:21,800 great it's great fun but actually I'm not going to just aim for that now 21 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,560 I'm going to try and keep things going so I'm going to try and do 22 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:30,920 do the show in parts so I'll record the first part 23 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,640 and then I'm going to go and relax for a little while you know chill out maybe a cup of tea 24 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,760 or three some biscuits 25 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:42,880 relax you know all that sort of stuff and then I'll come and record another part 26 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,480 and then start the process all over again where I'm going to go and 27 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:52,400 chill out, cup of tea, cup of coffee, a bit of food, relax you know 28 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:56,680 and then come and record another part should it need it 29 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,600 and then we carry on going just like that 30 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,960 so I'm aiming for between 45 minutes and an hour long 31 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,160 hopefully, hopefully that's quite good 32 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,320 fingers crossed please bear with me because it could take a bit of time for 33 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,760 me to figure out and learn how to do all of this 34 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:21,680 I know it's probably been about six weeks or so I'll be honest it's been about six weeks 35 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:27,480 but I'm trying to figure it out as I've always said I am not a professional at this 36 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:33,120 at all so that's where we're going with the show 37 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:38,440 itself and I must admit I'm very proud and very excited with seeing how it's going 38 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:47,200 for those of you watching on video rather than listening in 39 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,840 you'll see I'm sat here I've got a Christmas jumper on 40 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:54,440 I've got a Christmas hat on in the background is a little Christmas tree 41 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,840 that I've got in the studio and some Christmas lights 42 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:02,120 just trying to make it look pretty and it is nice out here I must admit 43 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:08,440 when I'm sat here I've put the light off and it's still quite bright 44 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:13,520 I'm going to be fair it's still quite bright it's nice because of the lights 45 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,880 so I'm going to start the day let's discuss Christmas 46 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:22,480 start with the fun stuff it's the best way forward I believe 47 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,520 tomorrow I've got family coming over really can't wait looking forward to it 48 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:32,400 we've done the Christmas shopping got the food in 49 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,200 the presents are all done and I'm going to be honest 50 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,160 like I've said it's Christmas Eve and I've still done no wrapping 51 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:44,760 I've wrapped up no presents I need to so far 52 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:50,840 talk about lastminute.com but you know I'm trying 53 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:55,840 once I've had dinner and relaxed a bit I think I'll get the wrapping paper out 54 00:03:55,840 --> 00:04:00,000 and I'll have a go thankfully I've not got massive amounts of stuff 55 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:05,640 to actually wrap up thankfully but yeah I mean the thought of getting 56 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,840 family over and just having a nice relax together 57 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:15,560 I like the idea I'm a bit of a fan and again 58 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:20,280 it's Christmas Santa 59 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:24,520 talking of Santa last night me and Lisa we sat and watched 60 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,680 my personal favourite Christmas film of all time 61 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:33,440 Santa Claus the movie just can't help it it's such an incredible 62 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:38,200 film and the real good thing was they actually had it 63 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,320 online in UHD 64 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,600 wow it was brilliant 65 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:50,160 the colours the lighting all sorts it was fantastic I mean the film was like 66 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:55,840 I think it was 1984 it was released I was born in 83 so I was like a year 67 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,320 it might have been 85 it came out so I was maybe one or two years old when it 68 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,880 came out 69 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:06,360 but watching it now where it's been all sort of revamped and whatever else in the UHD 70 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,800 it was amazing absolutely amazing and there was one point 71 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,880 one of the poor reindeer bless him 72 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:18,720 he shed a little tear you can actually see the tear rolling down his face 73 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,000 it was he was a bit sweet actually 74 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:26,560 I'm gonna be honest I just wanted to go and stroke the reindeer and feed him a carrot 75 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:31,000 and you know make him feel better 76 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:36,280 come on come on Mike sort yourself out boy it's TV you don't need none of that stuff 77 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,200 anyway 78 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,880 we'll discuss that another time 79 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,920 but yeah I must admit 80 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,480 I'm really hoping you all have a great Christmas and I'm gonna be fair 81 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,960 and this is me getting a little bit serious 82 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:58,640 I wanna wish you all a very good Christmas 83 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,960 I hope you have a fantastic time because 84 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:06,800 I'm gonna be honest without this podcast and without everyone listening in 85 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,760 things aren't necessarily 86 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,760 as easy 87 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:18,000 you all do a lot more for me than I think you actually realize just by 88 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:18,880 listening in 89 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,840 so genuinely thank you 90 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,760 because you you've all helped this year 91 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:30,120 massively so I really do appreciate it 92 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:35,080 I hope you have a fantastic Christmas and I am gonna try and release another 93 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,760 podcast before new year 94 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:40,480 because I'd like to do a bit of a recap 95 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,600 on my year 96 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,920 as well as wishing everyone happy new year 97 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,920 but anyway that's really the end of 98 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,760 me sort of introducing the show today and whatever else 99 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:58,320 like I say there's a few bits I'm gonna talk about one of the main 100 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:02,360 sections of the show is I'm gonna do an update on how things have been 101 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,720 because 102 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,320 things haven't been particularly great I'm gonna be honest 103 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,400 I've gotta say that 104 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,000 I'm carrying on and I'm pushing 105 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,480 on top of that I'm gonna talk about what I'm doing to stay positive 106 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,560 and there's quite a bit of that 107 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,000 I'm gonna be fair there's quite a big chunk 108 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,200 to that that section of the show so 109 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,080 please bear with me as I say 110 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:37,320 this is a new way of me recording things this is a new way of me doing this 111 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,560 it has always been me just sat down 112 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,520 chatting away and in one hit 113 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,680 25 minutes half an hour job done so 114 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,760 let's start 115 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,120 today where I'm gonna start 116 00:07:56,120 --> 00:08:00,320 explaining how things have been and just giving a bit of an update on myself 117 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:06,200 so 118 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,720 as an update on myself I think the best place to start really 119 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:15,680 is gonna be starting from the fact that probably 120 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:22,200 a good few weeks ago now I took quite a big decision 121 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,440 the painkillers that I was on 122 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:31,080 actually I was getting a bit concerned about how they were making me feel 123 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:35,080 it was very much a case of 124 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,400 I've got memory issues anyway short term memory issues 125 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,760 that MS is causing but the painkillers I was on 126 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,920 I'll be honest with you it was making me at times feel like I actually wasn't even 127 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,560 in the room I wasn't in my own head so to speak I wasn't 128 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:54,320 my thoughts weren't correct nothing seemed 129 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,880 seemed right if that makes any sense 130 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,880 so I made a big decision I spoke to my 131 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,160 my GP and he confirmed that 132 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:08,840 the painkillers I was on can cause the 133 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:13,720 exacerbated short term memory issues so I came off them 134 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,280 I just woke up one morning and said I'm done 135 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:21,280 I came off them I stopped taking those painkillers 136 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,240 and it's not been easy 137 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:29,040 I'm gonna be totally fair it really really hasn't been easy at all 138 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,440 if I'm honest there's been times where 139 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:36,400 the pain has been particularly bad 140 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:40,440 that I have to put out there straight away 141 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,680 and I would never encourage anyone else to do what I've done 142 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:49,760 by way of just coming off your painkillers but 143 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,880 if you have the same sort of thought processes I had 144 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,360 and you speak to a medical professional 145 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,720 it is an option and as I say for myself 146 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,280 it was probably the only option available to me 147 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,320 because honestly it really was worrying me 148 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,440 how my memory was going 149 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:15,360 and how I would be sat on the sofa and the amount of times I would turn around to Lisa 150 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,760 I'd be sat there and say I don't actually feel like I'm here 151 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,320 I don't feel like I'm in the room which 152 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,640 it wasn't a nice feeling it wasn't a comfortable feeling 153 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:30,400 so there is bits and pieces I've done to try and 154 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,920 try and combat the pain because I'm gonna be fair 155 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:39,080 the pain naturally is quite bad at times since coming off those 156 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,480 those tablets but I'm coping 157 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:47,920 I'm coping now I think since the weather has turned so much 158 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,880 I seem to have been getting a bit worse with 159 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:58,160 pains aches all sorts of stuff I'm gonna be honest with you 160 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,680 now I think the biggest one 161 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,640 is it's been my legs without a doubt my legs have been feeling very 162 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:10,080 very weak at times to the point where 163 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:15,560 actually standing up is not particularly easy it's not overly 164 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:16,480 comfortable 165 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,040 so I'm having to find new ways and different ways of 166 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,280 combating that the biggest one 167 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:28,080 is just finding something to lean on I'll be totally honest with you 168 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,800 and I know that might sound quite simple but yeah literally just finding 169 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:32,920 something to lean on 170 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:38,440 instead of leaving myself in a position where I'm in 171 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:43,000 the middle of a room and my legs go a bit weak and I fall over 172 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:47,720 so yeah I mean there's that I mean my foot drop's been 173 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,840 actually that feels like it's been getting quite a bit worse 174 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,080 with me FES machine the functional 175 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:58,640 electrical stimulation machine it's been quite difficult 176 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:02,920 because at times and I think it probably is where things have been getting a 177 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:03,760 little bit worse 178 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,320 it's been quite hard 179 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,400 to get that to actually do what it was previously doing 180 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,680 now I mean since having that it was brilliant it 181 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:18,000 really worked for me I was in a position where 182 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,400 I was I was able to move around comfortably and whatever else I would 183 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:22,760 put it 184 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,880 between 30 and sometimes 45 185 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:31,200 it goes up to 100 186 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,600 at the moment from time to time I'm actually having to put it on a hundred 187 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,200 and even then the foot drop's not quite going away it's 188 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,720 carrying on so even with 189 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:46,360 the FES machine at the moment from time to time not all the time from time to time 190 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,520 things are a little bit tough 191 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:53,120 but again I'm finding a way through it I'm finding other ways around it 192 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:57,520 now even if that is adjusting 193 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:01,120 how I hold my body when I'm walking or whatever else 194 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,520 there's little bits and pieces that I'm being able to do 195 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,520 just to try and combat the issues that are arising 196 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:12,280 I've been getting quite a few of the water drop feelings on 197 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,680 on top of my head which again is 198 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:19,480 is very uncomfortable very disconcerting you're sat in the middle of a room 199 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:24,160 sat on the sofa and you can feel water dripping on your head and you're thinking 200 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,280 hang on a minute I'm not outside here that doesn't make any sense 201 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,800 but it's happening 202 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,320 you put your hand on your head and 203 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:39,240 there's no liquid there there's no water 204 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,720 so again it is one of those things that 205 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,240 it's been getting a little bit more prevalent 206 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:50,240 it's been showing itself a little bit more but 207 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,360 again I'm kind of finding a way 208 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,680 a way through it when it happens I'm accepting what it is I'm realizing what 209 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,840 it is straight away and sort of thinking to myself 210 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:05,000 okay it's happening it's gonna go away soon it's not gonna stay there forever 211 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:05,840 it's 212 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,840 it's gonna be there and back there and back which again 213 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:14,560 I can cope with you know what I mean it's not a pain that one it's just a 214 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:19,560 really disconcerting feeling so again it's one of those that's 215 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:23,320 it's manageable my back 216 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,800 my lower back I'm gonna be totally fair is absolutely awful at the minute 217 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,480 it's very very painful 218 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:36,120 and to the point at times it's twinging 219 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:41,200 and it's kinda doubling my legs over you know it doesn't happen all the time 220 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:47,840 but it is happening from time to time and when it does it is really really bad 221 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,400 I'm gonna be honest it makes it quite difficult actually to even stand up 222 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,160 where I'm saying about hanging on to a wall or whatever else 223 00:14:55,160 --> 00:15:00,760 when the back goes twinge even a wall don't tend to be 224 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,560 I do a particularly good job I mean it was only the other night 225 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,160 and I'll tell a little story it was only the other night that 226 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:12,080 I was on the stairs and 227 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,880 that's a bit random 228 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:20,680 bear with me a second okay 229 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,920 and I'm back yeah that was a little bit strange I'm gonna be totally honest 230 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,880 I'm sat here and 231 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,920 my shed door randomly opened on its own there was nobody outside 232 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,960 the door literally just opened itself and blew open 233 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,800 yeah very very odd very odd 234 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,440 that is confusing 235 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:49,080 it really is but anyway back to the story 236 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:53,400 so I was on the stairs and I'm 237 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:59,400 not really doing much so I'm just stood on the stairs having a conversation 238 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,200 and I kind of I thought I need to sit down 239 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:07,240 because I didn't feel right and I didn't want to fall down so I did 240 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,520 I did sit down now sitting down for some reason I couldn't quite 241 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,240 regulate where I was going 242 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,680 and I banged my head and I actually banged my head 243 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:21,280 on our chrome handrail 244 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,640 it kind of hurt I'm gonna be honest it was a little bit painful 245 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:29,840 so I sort of sat there for a few minutes got my bearings back 246 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,000 and I stood up to start going down the stairs 247 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,760 and as I stood up again my legs went a bit wobbly 248 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:41,040 and they went 249 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:45,040 and I'm on the stairs and I had no option what I had to do 250 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,160 is I had to kind of twist my body 251 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,200 otherwise I would have fallen down the stairs so I managed to do it so that 252 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:56,520 actually I fell upstairs rather than down 253 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,760 which again 254 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,720 trying to be sensible trying not to fall downwards because 255 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:09,840 ouch and I did hurt myself a little bit falling up I'm gonna be fair 256 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:13,320 again it came down to the fact that back not right 257 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,680 I couldn't quite get my bearings and yeah it just wasn't 258 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:21,200 something wasn't quite right so thankfully no injuries 259 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:25,040 that's a bit of a bonus there was no injuries 260 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,160 and it was yeah it was odd 261 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,360 very odd not quite as odd as the shed door opening on its own 262 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,880 don't get me wrong it's mega mega windy out there it really is but 263 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:39,000 the door was shut 264 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,920 I mean maybe it's the ghost of Christmas past 265 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,480 bringing me something in I'm 266 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,360 I mean if it wanted to bring me a cup of coffee right about now I'd high five the ghost of 267 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,240 Christmas past not a problem shake his hand and 268 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:56,240 share a coffee with him not a problem I'll cope with that 269 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:00,200 no worries but yeah I mean 270 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:04,840 sort of coming away again from from the sort of issues I'm having 271 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,200 with regards to the MS hug 272 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,760 at the moment I'm gonna be fair the hug is really really bad 273 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,280 it is absolutely awful I'm gonna be honest 274 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:19,480 because because I'm not on the painkillers 275 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:24,760 and I'm assuming it's that plus the change in the weather 276 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,000 it really does seem to have caused an issue where 277 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:32,240 that is actually being very squeezy and it is 278 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:37,240 I've said it before in a poem that I wrote a very long time ago now 279 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,600 whereby I was saying that I've had better hugs 280 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,800 from chucking drunks out of the pub when I was a doorman 281 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,480 all them years ago and it's very true 282 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:51,440 it's not a nice cuddle it really is not a nice hug at all 283 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:55,720 it's crushing me and it feels at times like I've got 284 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,760 like a boa constrictor around me rib cage and it really is 285 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:06,680 gripping and squeezing and I'm thinking to myself 286 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:11,000 it doesn't hurt but is not comfortable 287 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,640 and I'm not being able to breathe as deeply as I would like to 288 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:19,040 so again I'm just having to try and readjust and figure out 289 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:23,720 different ways of breathing and whatever else to make sure that 290 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:28,120 I'm managing to cover everything 291 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,920 and I know it might not sound a lot 292 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,440 but all of those sort of things amalgamated into one 293 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,960 are very very 294 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,560 yeah it's very disconcerting 295 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:48,560 the pain when it is there is believe me is absolutely awful 296 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:54,280 but I'm just learning new ways of coping with it all 297 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,240 because like I said right from the start 298 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,040 I don't intend giving in to this thing 299 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,000 I really really don't 300 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:08,080 now it causes me issues on a daily basis every minute of every single day 301 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,160 not a problem you know I cope with it 302 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:16,480 I find ways through it it's not comfortable it's not nice I don't like it 303 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:20,840 I'm carrying on being me that's the biggest thing for me 304 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:25,280 is through it all I want to be me 305 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:29,200 now I hope it does come across when I'm doing these podcasts 306 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:34,200 and I know it's been a while like I said it's been a while since I've recorded an episode 307 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:38,960 but I hope it comes across that I am actually quite a fun person I'm the kind of person that 308 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,840 is happy and the kind of person that's 309 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,640 proud of being me because like I say 310 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,240 through it all that's all I want I just want to be me 311 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,880 I think that's what we all want 312 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,760 I'm going to be honest I think that's what we all want and at times it's not easy to be that 313 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:03,000 person as long as you're trying as long as you're putting the effort in as long as you're 314 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,440 you're fighting 315 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,680 the best that you can possibly fight what more can you 316 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,520 can you ask of yourself not a lot let's be honest 317 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,880 not a lot so in terms of 318 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:24,880 of the pain type stuff the issues the problems MS is causing 319 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:29,520 that's kind of where we are with it and 320 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,080 believe me it could be worse I'm certain of that 321 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,960 it could be worse could be a whole lot better but it could be worse 322 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,120 so I'm kind of in a way I'm kind of pleased 323 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:44,680 because 324 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,600 I am still able to get out and like I say 325 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:51,120 I bought a new mobility scooter because my old one 326 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,800 just it wasn't doing the job anymore it really was 327 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,920 it was finished so on that new scooter 328 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:03,440 I'm able to go a bit quicker on it 8 mile an hour you know I'm able to 329 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,760 to get out and be a bit more confident in that respect 330 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,800 I'm still able to to be out house and be a 331 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,080 an individual when I need to be 332 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,240 you know I love the fact my family is there for me all the time 333 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:22,320 they really are and that's a fact and I am so so so grateful to 334 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:27,240 every single member of my family I'll be honest with you that's something that I 335 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,640 have to make clear 336 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:33,440 because I am really lucky I am genuinely very lucky 337 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:37,040 because no matter what the situation is 338 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,040 my family are there they're always there 339 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:45,400 and they're always capable of picking me up when I'm not 340 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,960 quite having such a good day and I'm gonna be honest with you mentally 341 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:54,120 at times recently I have struggled and things haven't always been perfect 342 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:58,520 but again 343 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:03,400 I'm continuing I'm carrying on and I'm fighting on through 344 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:08,280 and 345 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:13,680 again if it wasn't for my family I think things will be a lot tougher 346 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:18,160 that's a fact it's a cold hard fact it would be a lot tougher 347 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,480 so to them 348 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,880 that are listening thank you genuinely thank you 349 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,960 you're appreciated more than you will ever realize 350 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:34,600 again coming away from the 351 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,480 the the negative type stuff because let's be fair 352 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:43,160 and we've got to be honest not everything with MS is positive 353 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:47,000 it's just a fact 354 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:52,120 but I like to try and make things positive 355 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:56,120 so coming into the next part of the show 356 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:59,400 I am gonna talk about the things I've been doing 357 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:06,400 to stay positive let's get into that 358 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,600 positivity now positivity 359 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,600 really is is my way of fighting back 360 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:20,160 it's my way of showing MS 361 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:25,080 yeah you know what you've got your day you're doing what you want to do 362 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,680 but you know what my friend this is my life 363 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:33,120 this is my life and I'm gonna live it my way so 364 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:38,360 talking about the things that I'm doing to to stay positive 365 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,960 I think we've got to start and 366 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,920 I'm not going to go into the family side of stuff because as I've just explained 367 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:51,000 my family really are the most important part of that in terms of the positivity 368 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,120 aspect they really are 369 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:58,440 so let's do it from a different direction 370 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:02,360 now I know I've mentioned on my previous podcast 371 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:05,640 that I'd been offered a job 372 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,000 I'm actually working 373 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,720 okay it's only as a 374 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:17,480 a columnist for MS News Today 375 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:22,080 and it's that I say only for me personally that's such a big thing 376 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,360 it's something I'm so proud of 377 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:28,640 to say the very least 378 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,560 it's a it's I'm trying to think of the right words and this is one of the issues I'm 379 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,080 having recently 380 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:39,720 is short-term memory and remembering everything I want to say 381 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,840 so actually you're kind of seeing this and hearing this firsthand 382 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,320 and on that that's a good thing that is a good thing 383 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,720 but I'm effectively 384 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,680 the word I'm looking for freelance I'm working freelance 385 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,800 so one column a week and I'm getting to 386 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:02,360 to reach a really huge worldwide audience 387 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:07,600 to talk about things I want to talk about 388 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,400 and like I say the level of pride 389 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,080 I've got for doing that is unreal 390 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,800 it is genuinely genuinely unreal 391 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,320 you know it's not always easy and I'm gonna be fair to sit 392 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:26,200 and I'll sit in my studio out here and 393 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:32,120 record I do my bits and pieces for social media and whatever else 394 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:37,760 but I sit here on my laptop and tap away 395 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,800 and write stories effectively 396 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,080 whether that be I've written an article about how 397 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,200 I coped and got rid of my fear 398 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,920 of MRI scanners that's what I'm really proud of 399 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,520 because I'm hoping somewhere down the line someone could read what I've said 400 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:59,440 and even if they change what I've done just a little bit to help them 401 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,760 that for me would be fantastic that's exactly 402 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,440 the reason I'm doing what I'm doing 403 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,880 because somebody else gets a benefit out of it 404 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,840 exactly what I'm after so I've done that I've written 405 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,640 a couple of stories in terms of 406 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:22,800 I wrote one about how my year has been it's been my first full year 407 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,800 full calendar year since diagnosis you know I was diagnosed 408 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,320 in August of last year 409 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,560 so this is my first full calendar year so I've written a bit of a 410 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,480 a year update to explain 411 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,800 sort of things I've done sort of things I'm proud of and whatever else 412 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,000 and that was great I think it went down quite well 413 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:49,720 and you know and even going forward and I don't want to say too much because I'll 414 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,400 be honest with you I direct you to 415 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:55,480 msnewstoday.com or multiplesclerosisnews 416 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,920 today dot com read my articles 417 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:03,240 read the articles that they've got on there because there is so much on there 418 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,240 that is helpful 419 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,480 the resources on there is fantastic it really is 420 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:12,160 there's bits on there that I've read and I'm thinking I didn't know that 421 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,800 that is helpful I've learnt something 422 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:20,000 it's all in the right place so if you want to read my columns 423 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,880 that's where they are go across and have a little look let me know what you think 424 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,440 and again look at everything that's on there because it's a brilliant site 425 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,640 it really is 426 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:35,200 but there's that and again I'm gonna say I'm gonna say it again and again and again 427 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,760 and again and again 428 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:40,680 it's something I'm so proud of genuinely so proud of 429 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:44,120 somebody that's had 20 years in the security industry 430 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:48,360 had to retire this year because of MS 431 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,320 and found a way 432 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,240 of talking to 433 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,440 other people with the condition other people 434 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,520 that are helping others 435 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,000 that have either newly diagnosed or been diagnosed for 436 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,880 many many years just being able to 437 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,480 to give advice and get given advice like that 438 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,280 unbelievable genuinely unbelievable and I'm gonna be fair 439 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,840 in terms of employment type 440 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:24,120 I can't go out to work I can't 441 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:28,920 go and get a normal 9 to 5 job I can't do anything like that 442 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:33,520 I'm retired now from security that's done and you know retirement's confirmed from that 443 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,720 but 444 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,680 I'm really enjoying what journalism 445 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,360 type work I really am sitting 446 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:49,880 and and just writing articles or whatever columns however you want to put it 447 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:53,960 and then seeing them posted 448 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,760 for the world to read and like I say I'm gonna say again this is a worldwide 449 00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:58,400 audience 450 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:04,080 massive audience and some comments have come off the back of 451 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:08,400 the articles I've written 452 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,320 huge huge smile on my face 453 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:16,800 really do it makes me feel like sometimes it takes me hours 454 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,640 to write an article I'm gonna be honest there's been a few that I've written in 455 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:24,920 half hour 45 minutes sometimes it takes 456 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:29,840 a long long time it's worth it genuinely genuinely worth it 457 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:34,680 because making me feel like I'm 458 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,680 I'm still a useful 459 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:43,040 helpful person and it's putting a smile on my face 460 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:47,480 and it's making me think I've still got lots to give 461 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:51,520 lots to give you know I'm not I'm not 462 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:55,840 I'm not sitting and doing nothing 463 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,600 I'm fighting I'm finding new ways 464 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,120 of doing that and honestly it's the 465 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,960 best feeling in the world it really is 466 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,200 in terms of work type stuff it's the best 467 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:14,080 work feeling in the world when I look 468 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:18,080 on it's normally a Wednesday an article will get published and I look on a Wednesday and go 469 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:23,360 I wrote that I wrote that 470 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,560 people are gonna read that somebody might like it 471 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:33,200 somebody might find it helpful I might make somebody smile with that 472 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,720 it is just 473 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,680 an incredible feeling it really is 474 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:44,240 and again that 475 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,200 is positivity it really is 476 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:52,160 it for me personally it's something that makes me sit and go 477 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,160 yes 478 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,840 yes it's an achievement it's something I've done 479 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,960 weekly basis I can look at it and say I'm proud of that 480 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,480 I've done that against what 481 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:14,160 MS wants I've done that 482 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,000 like I say it makes me proud very very proud 483 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:21,920 and again to anyone listening that may have read my articles and may have 484 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:27,040 commented on them or whatever else thank you thank you he's 485 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:31,240 massively appreciated and I just hope I'm doing everyone justice 486 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,000 I really really do because like I say I'm still learning with that like 487 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:39,160 this podcasting stuff I'm still learning you know 488 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,200 you don't do what I've done for 20 years 489 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:47,040 alone you know doing that sort of work 490 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,360 alone and 491 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:55,160 kinda just be a drop into this world 492 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:59,160 so give me a bit of credit 493 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,840 but no in all fairness again 494 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,800 there's that the other side of it I'm 495 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,680 having such good time going on to certain 496 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:15,720 social medias and talking to people 497 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,840 not just other MS warriors 498 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:22,560 I love that believe me that is something that 499 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:28,160 I find absolutely unbelievable and I've learned so so much 500 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:34,160 by doing that I've learned more from social media about this condition 501 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:38,280 than I have from medical professionals that's just a fact 502 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,280 it's not me dissing anyone that's not me 503 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,680 putting anyone down that is just me being completely honest 504 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,800 I have learned more from other MS warriors 505 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:53,160 on certain social medias the medical professionals have told me 506 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,760 and again it's something I massively appreciate but going on 507 00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,920 and I'm not going to mention names or anything like that 508 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:03,680 but there was a message sent to Lisa 509 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,800 just yesterday from somebody that follows us 510 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:12,200 both on a social media and the person 511 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,800 made it clear that when I go on and do a live video 512 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,800 it brightens their day 513 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:23,040 it puts a smile on their face and even if I just do it once a week 514 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,320 it makes their week now 515 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:31,520 that is powerful that is genuinely powerful 516 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:36,720 because it makes my day to go online and just talk 517 00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:41,640 to people to try and bring about knowledge 518 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,600 of MS it's something that 519 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,800 I am grateful to have the opportunity to be able to do is something I'm proud to do 520 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:54,240 but to know that what I've done 521 00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:57,600 has touched someone 522 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:02,040 that much that they're 523 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:06,720 grateful and they are happy 524 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,720 by just having a conversation 525 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:13,240 it's unbelievable it really is unbelievable 526 00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:16,640 when that message was explained to me I'm going to be honest 527 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:21,400 I tried to hide it but I actually did get a little bit choked up 528 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:26,800 I couldn't help it I did feel a little bit choked up 529 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,600 because that's kind of what I want I want people 530 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:35,080 to listen to the stories and listen to 531 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,320 to people explaining about MS 532 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,320 so that knowledge is grown 533 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:45,080 knowledge is built that's what all of this is 534 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,760 about for me is building that knowledge for people 535 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:53,280 whether that is somebody newly diagnosed somebody that's not diagnosed 536 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,480 somebody's been diagnosed for many many years 537 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,840 somebody's got no knowledge of MS at all and no connection to it 538 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:06,200 I want that to be built I want that knowledge to grow 539 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:10,720 so actually again that is something so positive 540 00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:13,800 so positive you know it's 541 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,280 it's something that that makes me sit and go 542 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:21,280 it's all worth it it is genuinely genuinely all worth it 543 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:28,560 and as I've just explained there the social media aspect 544 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:32,920 it just it works it really does work and it's something I'm proud of 545 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,000 and I am grateful to those that 546 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,000 that I follow that actually 547 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:44,160 that no more because there's a lot of people that know a whole lot more than I do 548 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,680 believe me I am 549 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,880 very much still a novice with it that's just a fact 550 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,640 it is and that's why I try and avoid 551 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,080 medical explanations for things because I don't want to give 552 00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:02,120 anyone incorrect information I want to be able to give people information that 553 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:07,320 I know is fact so to do that I need to talk about me 554 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,480 because that's the only thing that I can be a hundred percent 555 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:15,840 certain is fact is what I tell you about me 556 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:20,920 now again I'm going to talk the gaming aspect 557 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,920 because again it's something I'm really enjoying massively enjoying 558 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:28,320 posting up gaming content again on certain 559 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:33,840 sites and getting some good feedback 560 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,880 and doing something that I'm 561 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,840 I'm enjoying it you know I mean I'm actually enjoying it I'll sit 562 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:46,360 and I'll play games you know the main one I play Fortnite 563 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,560 not the only one it's the main one I'm not brilliant at it 564 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:53,840 don't get me wrong I am and under no circumstances am I a fantastic at that 565 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,760 game 566 00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:59,760 nope not chance but I enjoy it 567 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,560 now one of the hashtags I use for it is play for fun because 568 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:07,800 again it's a game games are there to be fun 569 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:11,880 not everything needs to be competitive fun 570 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,000 enjoyment that is the way 571 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,120 forward for me and again I mean 572 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,960 there was one video I put up had over 10,000 views and I'm thinking 573 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:25,560 that doesn't happen very often cut the thousand 574 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:29,320 tops normally but it made me think again 575 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,480 I've done something that somebody's enjoyed 576 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,600 it was worth it 577 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,960 so yes absolutely there is so many things 578 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:44,520 genuinely genuinely so many things that I'm getting on with 579 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:48,160 that are positive and 580 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,680 I really hope that's coming across to everyone because 581 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,760 as I've just talked about the negative stuff 582 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:58,920 I want you to see there is also the positives there as well 583 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:03,580 not everything needs to be negative as much as 584 00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:07,520 MS tries it ain't gonna succeed with that and it ain't gonna 585 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:12,600 succeed with that with me like I say not every day is perfect 586 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:18,400 and not every day am I able to put a smile on my face 587 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,760 but most of them I will and I will do so 588 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:25,400 because this is my life this is my body 589 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:31,000 it is not MS's body it's here as a passenger 590 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:38,280 that's a fact it's a passenger that I don't want it's a passenger I don't like and it's a passenger I don't need 591 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:42,800 but it's one I've got anyway 592 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,720 so it's time it starts learning it's my life 593 00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:51,520 not it's but anyway 594 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:58,400 back to the positivity side of stuff going out on my mobility scooter 595 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,600 going out with family whether that be nipping to the coffee shop 596 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,880 having a coffee whether that be nipping to a shop or whatever and just having a look 597 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:08,760 round and seeing what's going on 598 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:13,280 that is the sort of stuff I'm doing I enjoy I really 599 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:17,360 do love to do and that's what's going to continue 600 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,040 you know if it ain't raining and I'm able to jump on my scooter and just go 601 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,960 pootling round town or through the parks or whatever perfect 602 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,680 absolutely perfect 603 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,800 if I enjoy it I'm gonna do it because why not 604 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:37,240 but yeah as I say that is where things are at the moment 605 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:43,760 in terms of what I'm doing to stay positive I'm gonna finish the show today 606 00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,680 like I say I'm not actually being mindful 607 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:53,120 anymore of the time frames but I don't want to go too in depth at this point 608 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,960 because this is a much longer show 609 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:02,360 so I hope this new format has worked for everyone I hope this is fun 610 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,520 and like I say I'm a bit nervous 611 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:11,640 but either way this is where I'm going with it 612 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,600 because I want to get this out there I want this to get 613 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,400 enjoyed by people so 614 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:24,040 the last thing for me to say today 615 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:31,120 Merry Christmas I hope you all have an absolutely fantastic Christmas 616 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:37,520 genuinely whatever you're doing over the holiday season 617 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:42,400 enjoy it enjoy it as best you can 618 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:46,120 I hope you have a fantastic one appreciate you listening 619 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:49,920 and we will talk again really really soon 620 00:41:49,920 --> 00:42:01,720 have a good one holidays bye bye