Hello and welcome back again. Here we are another week and yeah I'm back talking to
you all again. I hope everyone's had a good week, best one they can possibly have. I'm
going to be totally honest. Mine's been pretty good you know, it's not been too bad at all
in fact. I'm going to do a really really positive podcast today because I think at times recently
some of my podcasts might have been a little bit on the negative side. It's possible, it
might have happened. I'm not going to promise either way but it may have. Anyway, I'm going
to talk a little bit today about the things that I've had going on in the last week and
I'm also going to talk about something that might be possible to happen in the not too
distant future. Bear with me, we'll get there. We will get there. Well first things first,
this week as I say has been very very positive. I know I've mentioned previously about reaching
out for some help with mental health. I was on the list to start getting some support.
Now I kind of got an email completely out of nowhere asking me if I still need that
help and whatever else and I didn't respond to it. It said on the email, if you still
require the help ignore this email. So I ignored the email. I did as I was told, good boy.
But it was the day after that I actually, I was sat here, I was sat in the studio and
I took a phone call where I was told I've now hit the top of the list and I was amazed.
That's actually very very quick, I'm going to be honest, it's very very quick. It was
a lot quicker than I was expecting. I was expecting a lot longer. So that was a real
result and the meeting that they gave for me was literally just a couple of days after
that phone call. I don't mind that. They've put me in touch, I'm doing what's called
like a talking therapy and it's sort of self managed. So over the next few weeks I'm going
to have meetings on the phone with this mental health team and the mental health worker to
try and sort of help me in the right direction to be able to help myself. Now I know a lot
of people will think about that and say, well what good is it trying to help yourself? And
that was my first thought. I'm going to be fair, that was my first thought is what good
is that? But actually I can see the sense in it, which is strange, I can see the sense
in it and maybe it is because of me wanting to look at it in a positive light. But the
way I'm looking at it is I might have had these issues for a while since this diagnosis
first came out, which is over a year now. And I just kind of put on a bit of a face,
a bit of a front for it all to try and sort of say, yeah I'm fine, yeah it is what it
is, I'll take it on the chin. But I shouldn't have done that. I should have accepted it
at the start that actually, that diagnosis gave me a bit of a kick in a place you wouldn't
want to get a kick. So I kind of sort of left it all under the surface, I ignored it, I
kind of just thought, you know, it will go away when it's ready. Well to an extent it
kind of did, but when you've got things bubbling up under the surface, actually at some point
they're going to come out. And that was about the point I was at when I reached out for
the support, when I reached out for the help, it was the right thing to do and I'll be honest,
I stand by that. But what I've kind of learned over that time is ways of trying to help myself
with it, ways of trying to push through. And now I need to learn the ways of pushing through
but not trying to push that to one side or push it underneath, accept it, live with it
and find a way of being me without letting that take charge. And again, I want this to
come out positively because actually I really do, I see this as such a positive thing that
I've figured this out, the help is there and I'm quite confident that going forward, just
this little bit of help this few weeks is going to give me the tools to be able to say,
well do you know what, yeah I don't feel right all the time but actually this is a way that
I have learnt to deal with it, it's a way I've learnt to say, yeah okay you're there,
it's not so nice feelings, you're there, I get it, but do you know what, it's my brain,
it's my life and it's my body and I'll do it my way. You can have your say about my
brain, fine, but at the same time I am the one in charge here, I'm the one doing this,
not you. So we'll live together with me in charge and I'll be honest with you, the more
I think about it, the more these talking therapies and doing it myself, for me personally I think
it is actually going to work, it won't work for everyone, nobody's the same, every two
people are different, but for me I think it's actually going to work and I'm really positive
about it so do you know what, bring it on, let's do it because actually, yeah, yeah it
feels good and what I will say, after that phone call that I had with the mental health
worker I jumped on my scooter and I went for a little ride through the parks and just sort
of cleared my head a little bit and on my social media there's some pictures I took
of the swans on the river, absolutely gorgeous, really nice, it was such a nice sight, yeah
I'll be honest with you, pleased with it and at least one of the pictures, it came out
great, I'm not a photographer but you know what, I was actually really proud of it, it
was a great picture and it's one that I will look back at purely because I kind of felt
like it was a good one, it was good, I enjoyed it, but yeah that actually really was great,
moving on, talking about Eleanor, the scooter, she got a service the other day and a couple
of days prior to that both dad and my brother had pumped the tyres up, yeah I kind of ignored
the tyre pressure, the tyre pressure was like really really really low, it was probably
half of what it should have been, maybe slightly less, not impressive, uh huh, less than to
me, treat it like your car, get the services done, make sure that everything's in good
order with it because now it runs like a charm, genuinely it's a four mile an hour machine
and I actually feel like it's doing four mile an hour, previously it was a bit draggy and
that's because the tyres were so flat, not smart, okay, not smart, my fault, is what
it is, learning curve, but yeah it was brilliant, got the service done, all in really good order,
working beautifully, I've been advised not to swap that scooter because actually it's
such a good quality one, it's a really good scooter, so the thoughts I had about potentially
trading it in, I don't have those thoughts anymore, I'm quite happy with what I've got,
I'm going to stick with it, simple as that, I like it, it gets me from A to B and sometimes
to C, just saying, but yeah I mean again another positive, there's two positives in one week,
what more can we stretch to and we can stretch to more because what I've also had this week
was a phone call to talk about a potential course, now I know I've said previously that
there was courses I could be looking to go on and this one does seem as though it's actually
going to happen, due to start middle of September and it's a course in digital marketing, I
know digital marketing, that's something that actually interests me, I'm going to be honest
it really does interest me and on top of actually doing the course I will be working alongside
their recruitment department because part and parcel of it all is hopefully at the end
of the course there could well be a job for me, working from home and the thought of that
is absolutely unreal, I've already got this space worked out in here, okay this is my
studio and I'm going to call it my studio now, no more of the shed stuff, this is my
studio but I could use this, part and parcel, not a problem at all, this would be a great
little space to work from, let's be fair to an extent a lot of what I actually do at
the moment with website, this podcast and now I've got the computer game streaming,
I kind of see that as work anyway, so if there's a thought and there's a chance of me actually
being able to work from home, get a job, start bringing in some money again because let's
be honest this whole being out of work stuff, I don't like it, I don't enjoy it, I want
to be a working man, I feel like it's where I need to be but going out to work it just
isn't possible, I'm going to be straight it's just not possible, it's something that
I have accepted, I don't like it but I have accepted it and I'm kind of proud of myself
for accepting it to be honest with you, it's something that is going to be new but actually
it's going to be great if it comes off, it's a 14 week course so there's quite a lot for
me there to get my teeth into, on top of the course that's a Tuesday and for the rest of
that week there's another 7 hours worth of homework to do which again that's not a problem,
I can get that done, let's be fair when I was at school homework never got done, no
honestly I didn't like homework at all, didn't see the point in it but now I'm actually quite
looking forward to doing some, yeah, yeah figure that one out because I can't but yeah
that's something there that I'm looking at and I'm thinking yeah, massive, positive and
again even if at the end of the course I can't get a job, I've learnt things that are going
to help me with this podcast, I've learnt things that are going to help me with a website,
I've learnt things that are going to help me, so it's good, really really good, give
me a minute I'm just going to have a quick swig of my drink, it's a fizzy blue one and
it's nice, but anyway we won't talk about my fizzy blue drink, no honestly we won't
because some people will go eww that's horrible, it wasn't, it's nice, it tastes good, it's
a bit refreshing and it's a bit different, so we'll take that, we'll quite gratefully
take that, but yeah I mean that's kind of where we are for this week in terms of those
types of positives and I'm going to say like I said at the start for me personally this
is probably one of the most positive shows I've done for a long time and I actually do
feel really really good currently, unbelievably positive in terms of what's going on with
regards to things like good stuff happening, speaking of good stuff, we went out on Saturday
night, we went out to go and see Hey Beatles, they're a Beatles tribute band, now I'll be
honest with you, I didn't know what to expect because let's be totally straight and I know
I've in my personal life I laugh and joke and whatever else, the Beatles music honestly
is about as good as it gets, easily easily one of the greatest bands of all time, the
ability with writing music and just everything, everything about the band was fantastic, it
really was impressive, now to try and do a tribute to that you've really got to put in
the effort, you've got to learn everything and you've got to be top notch, honestly they
were fantastic, really really good show, brilliant, we had front row seats, I don't know what
clown decided to order front row seats, no honestly I really don't know who decided to
do, yeah it was me, it was me, I booked the front row seats and you know what I'm kind
of pleased I did because it was good being up close like that, would I go front row again,
probably not if I'm totally honest but would I go just a couple of rows back, yeah definitely,
the guitarist was absolutely incredible, he just didn't miss a beat, he really was impressive
and that's an understatement I'll be honest, he was just different class, even the drummer
he was fantastic, played harmonica, played harmonica and the drums at the same time,
that takes a massive massive level of skill, it really does and to be fair he nailed it,
absolutely nailed it and yeah quite honestly if I was to give him a score out of 10, do
you know what, I probably would actually go as strong as 9.5, between a 9 and 9.5 I'm
going to be honest, the only reason to lose a point was because actually I don't think
I would ever give out a 10 or would I, can't remember if I gave the carpenters a 10, not
sure on that one but either way I would easily put them on a par with the carpenters, they
were superb, thoroughly enjoyed it and I definitely would go back and see them again and it was
good to get out, it was brilliant to get out, we really enjoyed ourselves and again it's
the sort of thing that in life, if you're able, do, it really is that simple, if you
can, do, because the more in life you say no no no no no no no actually the only person
that you're hurting is yourself, if you can say yes, you're giving yourself to have fun,
you're giving yourself that chance, you're putting yourself out there to have the opportunity
to enjoy things and again to me, yes positive, big positive, it really is that simple and
that's literally the crux of this show is positivity, because there's so much negativity
all over the place, there really is and I think that needs to be addressed a little
bit and I go through spells of being incredibly negative, massively negative and I don't enjoy
it, I'm going to be straight, I don't enjoy it, I prefer things like this past week where
I turn around and go, do you know what this has been great, I've really enjoyed this,
this positivity and do you know what, that's all I'm going to name this show, the title
of this show is purely going to be positivity, because why not, absolutely why not, well
it is a bit of a shorter show this one but do you know what, I've talked about everything
I want to talk about except, one more thing, one more thing, it's been mentioned to me
that an MS charity at the end of October is doing a sponsored skydive, in my life I have
never ever ever been that interested in doing a skydive but do you know what, I am absolutely
up for this, massively, massively up for it, because I'm looking at it and I'm thinking,
I'm not the most mobile person in the world, I'm really not, I've got plenty of issues
on that, is there ever going to get to a point where actually that sort of stuff for me is
off limits, it may already be the case but tomorrow, Monday, I'm going to contact my
doctors and I'm going to find out and if my doctor was to say to me, do you know what,
yeah you'll be okay, I am putting my name down in a heartbeat, yes I've got to raise
a lot of money, it's about £430 that I would need to raise to be able to do the jump, I'm
going to put myself out there to try and do that, one because it's raising money for an
incredible cause and two, I want to jump out of a plane, I really really do and yeah I'll
be attached to a professional that knows what they're doing and I would put my absolute
trust in them genuinely but I'm just wondering if this is potentially a chance of a lifetime
opportunity so if the opportunity is there, if my doctor says yes, I'm doing it, I'm putting
my name down, I'm doing everything I possibly can to raise that money, charity, superb and
what a chance, chance of a lifetime and actually I'm looking forward to the possibility of
doing it, simple as that, I really really am but that's where I'm going to end the show,
that's where I'm going to end the show, it's been a really good one actually, I've really
enjoyed this one, thank you very much for listening and I will speak to you all again
soon, speak soon folks, bye bye.