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Hello and welcome back again. Here we are another week and yeah I'm back talking to

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you all again. I hope everyone's had a good week, best one they can possibly have. I'm

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going to be totally honest. Mine's been pretty good you know, it's not been too bad at all

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in fact. I'm going to do a really really positive podcast today because I think at times recently

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some of my podcasts might have been a little bit on the negative side. It's possible, it

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might have happened. I'm not going to promise either way but it may have. Anyway, I'm going

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to talk a little bit today about the things that I've had going on in the last week and

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I'm also going to talk about something that might be possible to happen in the not too

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distant future. Bear with me, we'll get there. We will get there. Well first things first,

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this week as I say has been very very positive. I know I've mentioned previously about reaching

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out for some help with mental health. I was on the list to start getting some support.

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Now I kind of got an email completely out of nowhere asking me if I still need that

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help and whatever else and I didn't respond to it. It said on the email, if you still

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require the help ignore this email. So I ignored the email. I did as I was told, good boy.

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But it was the day after that I actually, I was sat here, I was sat in the studio and

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I took a phone call where I was told I've now hit the top of the list and I was amazed.

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That's actually very very quick, I'm going to be honest, it's very very quick. It was

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a lot quicker than I was expecting. I was expecting a lot longer. So that was a real

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result and the meeting that they gave for me was literally just a couple of days after

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that phone call. I don't mind that. They've put me in touch, I'm doing what's called

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like a talking therapy and it's sort of self managed. So over the next few weeks I'm going

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to have meetings on the phone with this mental health team and the mental health worker to

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try and sort of help me in the right direction to be able to help myself. Now I know a lot

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of people will think about that and say, well what good is it trying to help yourself? And

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that was my first thought. I'm going to be fair, that was my first thought is what good

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is that? But actually I can see the sense in it, which is strange, I can see the sense

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in it and maybe it is because of me wanting to look at it in a positive light. But the

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way I'm looking at it is I might have had these issues for a while since this diagnosis

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first came out, which is over a year now. And I just kind of put on a bit of a face,

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a bit of a front for it all to try and sort of say, yeah I'm fine, yeah it is what it

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is, I'll take it on the chin. But I shouldn't have done that. I should have accepted it

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at the start that actually, that diagnosis gave me a bit of a kick in a place you wouldn't

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want to get a kick. So I kind of sort of left it all under the surface, I ignored it, I

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kind of just thought, you know, it will go away when it's ready. Well to an extent it

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kind of did, but when you've got things bubbling up under the surface, actually at some point

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they're going to come out. And that was about the point I was at when I reached out for

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the support, when I reached out for the help, it was the right thing to do and I'll be honest,

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I stand by that. But what I've kind of learned over that time is ways of trying to help myself

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with it, ways of trying to push through. And now I need to learn the ways of pushing through

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but not trying to push that to one side or push it underneath, accept it, live with it

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and find a way of being me without letting that take charge. And again, I want this to

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come out positively because actually I really do, I see this as such a positive thing that

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I've figured this out, the help is there and I'm quite confident that going forward, just

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this little bit of help this few weeks is going to give me the tools to be able to say,

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well do you know what, yeah I don't feel right all the time but actually this is a way that

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I have learnt to deal with it, it's a way I've learnt to say, yeah okay you're there,

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it's not so nice feelings, you're there, I get it, but do you know what, it's my brain,

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it's my life and it's my body and I'll do it my way. You can have your say about my

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brain, fine, but at the same time I am the one in charge here, I'm the one doing this,

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not you. So we'll live together with me in charge and I'll be honest with you, the more

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I think about it, the more these talking therapies and doing it myself, for me personally I think

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it is actually going to work, it won't work for everyone, nobody's the same, every two

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people are different, but for me I think it's actually going to work and I'm really positive

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about it so do you know what, bring it on, let's do it because actually, yeah, yeah it

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feels good and what I will say, after that phone call that I had with the mental health

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worker I jumped on my scooter and I went for a little ride through the parks and just sort

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of cleared my head a little bit and on my social media there's some pictures I took

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of the swans on the river, absolutely gorgeous, really nice, it was such a nice sight, yeah

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I'll be honest with you, pleased with it and at least one of the pictures, it came out

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great, I'm not a photographer but you know what, I was actually really proud of it, it

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was a great picture and it's one that I will look back at purely because I kind of felt

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like it was a good one, it was good, I enjoyed it, but yeah that actually really was great,

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moving on, talking about Eleanor, the scooter, she got a service the other day and a couple

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of days prior to that both dad and my brother had pumped the tyres up, yeah I kind of ignored

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the tyre pressure, the tyre pressure was like really really really low, it was probably

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half of what it should have been, maybe slightly less, not impressive, uh huh, less than to

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me, treat it like your car, get the services done, make sure that everything's in good

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order with it because now it runs like a charm, genuinely it's a four mile an hour machine

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and I actually feel like it's doing four mile an hour, previously it was a bit draggy and

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that's because the tyres were so flat, not smart, okay, not smart, my fault, is what

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it is, learning curve, but yeah it was brilliant, got the service done, all in really good order,

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working beautifully, I've been advised not to swap that scooter because actually it's

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such a good quality one, it's a really good scooter, so the thoughts I had about potentially

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trading it in, I don't have those thoughts anymore, I'm quite happy with what I've got,

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I'm going to stick with it, simple as that, I like it, it gets me from A to B and sometimes

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to C, just saying, but yeah I mean again another positive, there's two positives in one week,

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what more can we stretch to and we can stretch to more because what I've also had this week

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was a phone call to talk about a potential course, now I know I've said previously that

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there was courses I could be looking to go on and this one does seem as though it's actually

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going to happen, due to start middle of September and it's a course in digital marketing, I

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know digital marketing, that's something that actually interests me, I'm going to be honest

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it really does interest me and on top of actually doing the course I will be working alongside

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their recruitment department because part and parcel of it all is hopefully at the end

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of the course there could well be a job for me, working from home and the thought of that

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is absolutely unreal, I've already got this space worked out in here, okay this is my

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studio and I'm going to call it my studio now, no more of the shed stuff, this is my

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studio but I could use this, part and parcel, not a problem at all, this would be a great

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little space to work from, let's be fair to an extent a lot of what I actually do at

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the moment with website, this podcast and now I've got the computer game streaming,

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I kind of see that as work anyway, so if there's a thought and there's a chance of me actually

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being able to work from home, get a job, start bringing in some money again because let's

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be honest this whole being out of work stuff, I don't like it, I don't enjoy it, I want

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to be a working man, I feel like it's where I need to be but going out to work it just

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isn't possible, I'm going to be straight it's just not possible, it's something that

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I have accepted, I don't like it but I have accepted it and I'm kind of proud of myself

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for accepting it to be honest with you, it's something that is going to be new but actually

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it's going to be great if it comes off, it's a 14 week course so there's quite a lot for

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me there to get my teeth into, on top of the course that's a Tuesday and for the rest of

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that week there's another 7 hours worth of homework to do which again that's not a problem,

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I can get that done, let's be fair when I was at school homework never got done, no

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honestly I didn't like homework at all, didn't see the point in it but now I'm actually quite

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looking forward to doing some, yeah, yeah figure that one out because I can't but yeah

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that's something there that I'm looking at and I'm thinking yeah, massive, positive and

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again even if at the end of the course I can't get a job, I've learnt things that are going

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to help me with this podcast, I've learnt things that are going to help me with a website,

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I've learnt things that are going to help me, so it's good, really really good, give

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me a minute I'm just going to have a quick swig of my drink, it's a fizzy blue one and

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it's nice, but anyway we won't talk about my fizzy blue drink, no honestly we won't

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because some people will go eww that's horrible, it wasn't, it's nice, it tastes good, it's

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a bit refreshing and it's a bit different, so we'll take that, we'll quite gratefully

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take that, but yeah I mean that's kind of where we are for this week in terms of those

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types of positives and I'm going to say like I said at the start for me personally this

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is probably one of the most positive shows I've done for a long time and I actually do

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feel really really good currently, unbelievably positive in terms of what's going on with

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regards to things like good stuff happening, speaking of good stuff, we went out on Saturday

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night, we went out to go and see Hey Beatles, they're a Beatles tribute band, now I'll be

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honest with you, I didn't know what to expect because let's be totally straight and I know

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I've in my personal life I laugh and joke and whatever else, the Beatles music honestly

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is about as good as it gets, easily easily one of the greatest bands of all time, the

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ability with writing music and just everything, everything about the band was fantastic, it

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really was impressive, now to try and do a tribute to that you've really got to put in

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the effort, you've got to learn everything and you've got to be top notch, honestly they

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were fantastic, really really good show, brilliant, we had front row seats, I don't know what

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clown decided to order front row seats, no honestly I really don't know who decided to

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do, yeah it was me, it was me, I booked the front row seats and you know what I'm kind

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of pleased I did because it was good being up close like that, would I go front row again,

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probably not if I'm totally honest but would I go just a couple of rows back, yeah definitely,

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the guitarist was absolutely incredible, he just didn't miss a beat, he really was impressive

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and that's an understatement I'll be honest, he was just different class, even the drummer

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he was fantastic, played harmonica, played harmonica and the drums at the same time,

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that takes a massive massive level of skill, it really does and to be fair he nailed it,

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absolutely nailed it and yeah quite honestly if I was to give him a score out of 10, do

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you know what, I probably would actually go as strong as 9.5, between a 9 and 9.5 I'm

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going to be honest, the only reason to lose a point was because actually I don't think

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I would ever give out a 10 or would I, can't remember if I gave the carpenters a 10, not

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sure on that one but either way I would easily put them on a par with the carpenters, they

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were superb, thoroughly enjoyed it and I definitely would go back and see them again and it was

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good to get out, it was brilliant to get out, we really enjoyed ourselves and again it's

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the sort of thing that in life, if you're able, do, it really is that simple, if you

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can, do, because the more in life you say no no no no no no no actually the only person

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that you're hurting is yourself, if you can say yes, you're giving yourself to have fun,

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you're giving yourself that chance, you're putting yourself out there to have the opportunity

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to enjoy things and again to me, yes positive, big positive, it really is that simple and

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that's literally the crux of this show is positivity, because there's so much negativity

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all over the place, there really is and I think that needs to be addressed a little

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bit and I go through spells of being incredibly negative, massively negative and I don't enjoy

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it, I'm going to be straight, I don't enjoy it, I prefer things like this past week where

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I turn around and go, do you know what this has been great, I've really enjoyed this,

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this positivity and do you know what, that's all I'm going to name this show, the title

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of this show is purely going to be positivity, because why not, absolutely why not, well

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it is a bit of a shorter show this one but do you know what, I've talked about everything

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I want to talk about except, one more thing, one more thing, it's been mentioned to me

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that an MS charity at the end of October is doing a sponsored skydive, in my life I have

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never ever ever been that interested in doing a skydive but do you know what, I am absolutely

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up for this, massively, massively up for it, because I'm looking at it and I'm thinking,

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I'm not the most mobile person in the world, I'm really not, I've got plenty of issues

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on that, is there ever going to get to a point where actually that sort of stuff for me is

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off limits, it may already be the case but tomorrow, Monday, I'm going to contact my

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doctors and I'm going to find out and if my doctor was to say to me, do you know what,

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yeah you'll be okay, I am putting my name down in a heartbeat, yes I've got to raise

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a lot of money, it's about £430 that I would need to raise to be able to do the jump, I'm

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going to put myself out there to try and do that, one because it's raising money for an

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incredible cause and two, I want to jump out of a plane, I really really do and yeah I'll

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be attached to a professional that knows what they're doing and I would put my absolute

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trust in them genuinely but I'm just wondering if this is potentially a chance of a lifetime

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opportunity so if the opportunity is there, if my doctor says yes, I'm doing it, I'm putting

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my name down, I'm doing everything I possibly can to raise that money, charity, superb and

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what a chance, chance of a lifetime and actually I'm looking forward to the possibility of

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doing it, simple as that, I really really am but that's where I'm going to end the show,

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that's where I'm going to end the show, it's been a really good one actually, I've really

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enjoyed this one, thank you very much for listening and I will speak to you all again

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soon, speak soon folks, bye bye.