Hello, friends. I just want to reiterate that
we are in the horror arc now, and there are going
to be some scary moments, and there might be
some adult themes that aren't appropriate for
everybody. So be warned, and enjoy. Guys, we
are running our first Fantasy Pants giveaway.
We're giving you the chance to win a full -body
custom D &D character portrait. of your D &D
character done by a real portrait artist, and
it's really simple to enter. All you have to
do is tag Fantasy Pants anywhere on social media.
I don't care if it's an Instagram story, an Instagram
reel, a Facebook post, Facebook, do they have
stories? I don't know. We're also new to TikTok,
so all you have to do on TikTok is follow us
there. You don't have to like or tag anything.
Tag us on Instagram or Facebook. Follow us on
TikTok. That's it. And you'll be entered in it
for a chance to win. The Red Mud did open, a
new terror revealed. Boulay broke the surface,
determined to kill, and chased our brave heroes
to their home on Farm's Hill. Though trapped
in stone walls, our heroes survived. Curly's
safety was traded for Proclaim Award's life.
That might have been the best one yet. Yeah,
that was pretty damn good. That was solid all
the way through. Don't get used to them. Because
we're... Moving on to the climax of this particular
arc. Who knows what happens after that. I mean,
you're not going to have to answer to us. You're
going to have to answer to our listeners as to
why we don't have a storyteller Oren anymore.
You know, no storyteller Oren, no Jules, no Zebulon.
Sad, sad state of affairs. Coming your way, good
listeners. Now, here we stand at the edge of
what I think future generations will call the
Friends v. Letterkenny trilogy. I suggest we
close the book on this argument now. We spent
enough time exploring how wrong Steven is. Just
how terribly wrong. It's time to move on from
that, Steven. What are you going to say? Nothing.
I'm done. It's over. I said what I said. I thought
you had final thoughts. Yeah, I'm done too. No,
you're wrong. That's it. Final thoughts. Okay,
one question. Yeah. Have you watched it yet?
Stop it. We moved on. It's over. Just answer
the one question and we'll leave it. The trilogy's
done. Of course not. We win, Steven. How is that
a win? Well, moving on. Moving on. Damn it. Moving
on. I don't know about us winning, but I think
David loses. Because if you haven't watched Letterkenny,
you automatically lose. Yes. It's over. And now
we move on. We moved on. Okay. That was a great
last word. You're wrong. Lose. Well, out of the
way, let's discuss something new. Like Steven's
old man back. It's old, old, sad, gross, sweaty
back. Steven, tell me about your back. Who's
the old man now? Who's the old man now? That's
right. It's been a bad back day. I have a large
dog, Rosie, Great Pyrenees. Incredibly, incredibly
stubborn. So we let her out to go potty this
morning before heading out to work. She decided
she didn't want to come back in, as she often
does. So I went out. to you know grab her collar
and lead her inside and sometimes she'll do this
thing where she just flops down on the ground
won't move doesn't want to get up not for treats
not for anything so i was just standing by her
waiting because i knew eventually she's gonna
have to get up she's not gonna want to lay there
whatever a couple minutes later she gets up and
she tries to like juke me out and run under the
bushes and i just bent down scooped her up picked
her up and started to carry her towards the house.
And about halfway through the yard, I realized
that I had done something horrible to my back
and the rest of the day has just been miserable.
And, uh, you know, I've worked some, some difficult
manual labor jobs and the job I have is fairly
physical. It's not anything crazy, but everything
I did all day long hurt. All right, Steven, Steven,
you are doing too good a job of building sympathy
towards your cause. And see, the thing of the
show is we shit on you. And you're making that
very hard for me right now by making me feel
legitimately bad about shitting on you. Yeah,
dude. It was a rough day. Well, damn it. Damn
it. Go ahead, though. No, let's hear it. Come
on. What do you got? You're old. Like I told
Jeremy earlier, he said to me, Jeremy said, oh,
who's the old man now? I said, you know what?
I'll wear that moniker today as I'm like hobbling
through the brewery. I get a text at like, what,
like 630 this morning saying, man, it's going
to be a long day. I threw out my back. It's not
even just today. It's not even just the back
because there has been a bit of a misunderstanding.
Towards the crew of our show here. And that misunderstanding
is that Jeremy is the old man of our little group.
Because while Jeremy is technically the oldest
of us three, and Stephen is technically the youngest,
our little spring blue bird, he is in his mind.
Forget that. It's gone. He is in his mind about
118 years old. Okay, so two weeks ago, our group
had a karaoke night. I don't go out to these
things much. Me and Jeremy went out. We were
having a blast. Steven showed up. It was a good
old time. Steve made about 20 minutes. 20 minutes,
Steven, you think? Yeah, maybe. He's just, I
don't like this new -fangled music. It's too
loud. It was way too loud. I've got to go outside.
You were outside all night. That's the point.
You jam along to it. You jam, man. You jam. I've
got a few points to make. First point, I was
not there for karaoke. I was there for Kolsch
night. We're going to drink lots of Kolsch, and
it's really fun. Second point, we were standing
right next to the karaoke fucking setup. The
best spot. It was a good time. That was awesome.
That's prime spot. That's where everybody wants
to be. Thirdly, and I realize that I could say
nothing and go along without getting any flack,
and what I'm about to say is just going to add
to your pile of, oh, Stevenson, oh, man. Oh,
I can't wait. Oh, bring it on. I'm so ready.
I think I need to, like, clean my ears out, dude.
Like, the past couple weeks, I can't hear. First
shit. It's all that sweat. I got Q -tips right
in the next room. No, see, Q -tips don't help
because Q -tips just push shit further in. I
mean, you don't stick the Q -tip into your ear.
I know how to use a Q -tip. You don't stick the
Q -tip. Wait, hang on. What? You don't stick
a Q -tip. You gotta go around the edge. Yeah,
around the edge. I go right in there, really?
No. You don't put it in the... Huh. No, don't
go in the hole, man. Huh. That just compacts
your shit. Whoopsie. Which I think is the problem
that I'm having here. You shouldn't have done
that, Steven. You got to get some like, you know,
some liquid stuff. I know all about, yeah, I've
had some good results. I don't want to get into
that. I don't want, nobody wants to hear that.
Old man Steven here just talking about his ears.
Earwax, earwax, earwax, earwax, earwax. It's
a good thing we got headphones on. Yeah, I can
hear now. I can hear fine now. That's good. That's
good. Not if I turned down your headphones. No.
Yeah. That wouldn't work well. Did you turn down
his headphones? I turned them down all the way.
What do you say to a Steven that can't hear anything?
Anything you want. Oh, yeah. So, Steven. That's
what it sounds like all day at work. It's a loud
-ass brewery. Yeah. Misconception has been fixed.
Steven's the old man. Pick on him, please. Not
just about this, about everything. Pick on Steven
all the time. It's really funny. I make a habit
of it. It is my favorite thing in the world.
It's all right, guys. Put it all on me. I can
take it for you. No one has to make fun of you.
Steven's here. You're weak. Steven, tell us about
art. How did this banter go wrong? Tell us about
art. Oh, do you want to do like the... We need
to talk about the portrait. We watched a live
portrait yesterday for your character. It was
really awesome. I want to hear your impression
in particular because it's really, really cool.
And you got to see Zebulon come to life. That
must have been awesome. Yeah. So I've obviously
been familiar with Eric's work. We've been buddies
on Instagram for a little while since we started
this whole thing. And I didn't quite know what
to expect, but it... was not as cool as what
we got. Eric put an immense amount of work into
Zebulon's portrait, and it's not even done yet.
Like you said, we watched him live, and he was
on there for like three hours. By the time this
is out, I'm sure it's going to be up on Instagram
for you all to see. If you haven't seen it yet,
check it out. It is incredible. And the whole
process was amazing to behold. Really cool to
watch. Eric's a great guy. He's entertaining,
educational, you know, all the time. He's kind
of like on stage while he's painting. It was
really great. And Zebulon looks like peak. Peak
Zebulon. He like probably just finished like
100 push -ups. He has no right looking this cool.
He's got like a professional modeling coach right
over his shoulder sort of thing. I told you,
it looks like his like official luminary ID badge.
It's a nat 20 charisma check. And he is mean
mugging hard. Yeah. He has no business looking
that cool. Yeah. But Eric did it for us. And
stay tuned because Jules is coming up soon. And
I can't wait to see that too. Yeah. And who knows
what else after that, but yeah, so, so exciting.
So, so cool. And I think a week after, this airs
is when we're going to announce the winner of
the giveaway. Oh, excellent. Excellent. So I
think pretty soon one of y 'all will be talking
to Eric yourselves, giving him G &G character
details. Get into it. To be there watching your
character come to life like that, it's so worth
it. It's so cool. Really special. I'm really
looking forward to someone out there getting
to have that experience. Yep. And at this point,
we've probably said it a few times, but all you
have to do to enter is just tag us anywhere on
social media, Facebook story, Instagram reel,
whatever it is. We're also new on TikTok, so
all you have to do is follow us on TikTok, and
any of those things will get you an entry. Hell
yes. Now we're talking about Zebulon. Zebulon
being heroic. Zebulon being cool. Let's move
on to Zebulon and his death. Oh, yes. Well, then.
It would be just our luck for us to get kick
-ass character art of Zebulon and then for him
to die. Get that roll 20 up for me. I'm about
to hit you with some music. Roll 20 is a go.
Oh, yes. Then how about Sirenscape? You good
on that? No, I don't want to start this. Oh,
start that music. It's a little familiar music.
We played it last time. As you ran for your lives.
We see the stone reinforced home of Uncle Polder.
Outside we see Coley, Jules and Chester and Jean
Franklin all watching as Zebulon and Horseback
begins to trot and gallop out into the field.
And then down somewhere below him. Right by the
hole you just climbed into. About 10 to 20 feet
south of that hole as you move past it. Also,
riding south, the ground shakes. Boom! Explodes!
Bursting out at this massive... A plate -headed
monstrosity, the boulet. Some might call it a
boulette, I will say that. But I believe the
technical pronunciation is boulet. I looked it
up. That sounds better. Yeah, it's a weird thing.
This reptilian creature blasts out its big claws,
digging its way out of the hole, and it just
starts to, like, not even, like, running on land.
It is jumping. digging, jumping like a dolphin,
riding over waves, over these red, muddy hills
and farmlands as it begins to give chase. As
you guys see this, everyone at the stone home,
are you guys making your move to run? Well, you
have this opening. That's up to you, Jules. You're
leading that front. I think Jules is leading
them out of the back. Okay. But I don't think
Jules follows with them all the way. Okay. I
think he looks around the back corner of the
house, just keeping an eye on Zeb. Okay. All
right. Jules positioned at the back corner of
the house, watching. He stands to the north of
the house, watching south. This is going down.
Everybody else sprinting full on towards the
woods where they know they will be safe. And
the boule, who's been waiting, waiting for some
movement, some activity, some reason to strike.
He's done waiting and the chase begins anew.
His is gonna work. You are on horseback. That's
awesome. You saw last time that this horse was
so fast I didn't bother rolling for it. He was
just off the screen. I'll tell you why. Because
this horse's athletics checks to make this run
have a plus 16 when he's dashing. I basically
give attributing a bonus for every 5 feet over
30. Boulay, I'll tell you right now, had a plus
8. For every roll I made. Because he has a 40
feet movement speed. This horse has a set 60,
I believe. Plus you're doubling that because
it's 60. So he's dashing. He gets that plus 16.
Here's the problem, though. Zebulon. Koli has
formal training riding these beasts. What does
Zebulon's training look like on horseback? Why
don't you tell me? Well, as we've talked about
before, Zebulon has done some level of training
with his older brother, Arhalon, but I'm guessing
Zebulon's horse training is more like in the
apartment at home after Arhalon's like hands
-on training where they're like standing there
in the living room and Arhalon's like teaching
him how to stand. It's like, no, no, a little
wider stance. You have to be able to, you know,
move your feet this way and blah, blah, blah.
So they're like, I don't know, almost practicing,
like, not on the couch, but you know what I mean.
So I don't know that Zebulon has ever ridden
on a horse, but I think he understands the basic
movements. All right, all right, all right. Given
that, that was my assumption as well. I'm going
to give you two things. First of all, I'm going
to give you a button. I love that honesty. I
think that's really cool. You could have just
said, oh, he's a master horseman. I would have
just gone with it. But this was really cool.
I thought it was for my Arhalon impression. No,
that's actually part of it. That was a good Arhalon.
But I also just love the honesty. I think that's
great because here's what's going to happen as
a result of that. To ride this horse, I'm going
to say you make no checks. You're fine. But to
push this horse into a dash action to basically
cause it to run double its normal speed in a
round, To get that plus 16, I'm going to need
checks. Now, I was thinking a lot about this,
and at first I thought animal handling would
be the right check to sort of fit the situation,
but I decided against that because you're on
the horse, and the horse is damn well going to
try to run. It's not like you're trying to make
the horse run. It is scared as shit. Yeah, I
don't need to convince it anymore. What you need
to do is stay on the horse. So every round, if
you decide to push yourself to get that plus
16, it gets my plus 8 in this chase sequence.
then you are going to have to make a check. I'm
going to say it's going to be athletics or acrobatics
to stay on the horse's back. Either you're going
to be holding on for dear life with athletics,
or you're going to be shifting your weight just
right to nullify the impact of this dashing,
terrified horse beneath you with acrobatics.
Okay, and movement -wise, what happens if I do
not elect to dash? You'll be plus eight. Okay.
You will have a 50 -50 chance of beating out
my boulet. Okay, gotcha. Yes. All right. And
with that, we're at the top of the first round.
You're just outside the stone building, just
running past that hole that became Proclaimer
Tungsten Ward's grave. And the horse you ride
on is only there with you because Ward gave it
up. One final act. And you carry their spirit
with you now, Zebulon. As you go to protect your
friends, you begin to run. Give me athletics
check. I'm making one, too. All right. Zebulon.
Zebulon's carrying Ward's spirit and their scarf.
Rainbow scarf. And their scarf. Yes. Hell yeah.
I was like, it's not a kerchief. Before you make
this roll, plus eight or plus 16, your choice.
Are you dashing? Yeah. Let's try. Let's go for
the dash for the first roll here. Okay. Okay.
Go ahead and make your eclectics roll first.
All right. 15 for athletics. 15 total? Yeah.
Wait a second. Did we say athletics or acrobatics?
It's athletics. Oh, shit. I thought we talked
about... In your case, you're not using your
stats. You're using a horse's. So it's a plus
16 on the die. Oh, okay. Jeez. Then that's 26.
26. Okay. You beat me by five or more. You and
the horse move 20 feet ahead. You are 60 feet
away. You're... Now 80 feet. Okay. You need to
hit five rounds because you're hitting the woods
and you're escaping. That's your plan, right?
Trying to leave this thing as far away from your
allies as possible? Sort of. Yeah, Zebulon, I
think, wants to try to make it all five rounds
because he doesn't want to get further away from
the boule than the other party is. Okay. I don't
want its attention to be redirected. Okay. I
love it. So you move ahead, but now you did push
yourself, you did dash. Give me either acrobatics
or athletics. All right, I'll definitely elect
to do acrobatics. If you fail this, we'll touch
on what happens then. I need a DC 15. That's
a nine. You are not ready for the force of the
real thing. And as you kind of go to shift your
weight, and this thing starts to move. You find
yourself almost thrown off the back. Your balance,
your posture on the horse is totally thrown off.
You slide a little bit off your saddle onto the
horse's back. You're holding onto the reins for
dear life. In this next round, if you decide
to make this check again, you're making it with
disadvantage. All right. Definitely not going
to dash then this round. Okay. Just going to
go with the plus eight. I'll also allow this.
You can drop it to a plus four. And regain your
balance on the horse. You could force the horse
to slow down. So I'm off balance until I slow
down? That's cruel. Oh, I love cruel. You know
I love cruel. All right. Well, let's see how
it goes. I'm just going to roll the plus eight.
Okay. Jules, you're watching this. You see Sebby
Alon start sliding off this horse immediately.
Natural 18. Natural 18. Okay. All right. So I
got natural 17. Oh, baby. You beat me. Not by
a lot, but enough to pull 10 more feet. You're
now 90 feet. You're just getting a little more
ground. 90 feet ahead of the boule. You're doing
very, very well. What does Zebulon see if he
looks over at the rest of the crew? Good question.
I think at this point you look out and you see
that it's tough because. There's a house between
you and them and a hill at this point. You wouldn't
see that. Oh, okay, sure. Jules is looking around
the corner of the house. You can see Jules? Yes.
Jules! Get out of here! Not without you! Not
without you! I'm coming back a different way!
I'll meet you there! He is not going to turn
around and come back by the house. He's going
to take the long way around. Not until I know
you're safe! All right. Don't get eaten, man.
All right. I'm going to do the plus eight again.
I'm feeling pretty comfortable with my lead here.
Round three of the chase. And I threw my die
on the floor. But it is a 17. 21. 21. Oh, my
God. But you pull a little bit ahead again, Zebulon.
Now, 100 feet ahead of this thing. And that's
the end of the chart I made in Roll20, so we're
going to have to start keeping track mentally.
You son of a bitch. We only got two more rounds,
so. We only got two more rounds. We're going
to the next one. Oh, you're sticking with that
plus eight? You're still on the back, barely
hanging on? No, I'm actually going to take the
plus four. Okay. I'm going to get re -situated
here. Oh, I hope you roll a one. Just a ten.
Just a ten. For me, it's a 22. You fall back.
20 feet. That's over five. Not too bad, though.
But he regains his balance. Oh, it's going to
be tough for me to catch you now. Last round.
You literally, like, unless I roll, like, two
natural ones, right? Yeah. It's going to be better
for you than I thought. Yeah, I feel pretty good
about this. Let's wrap this up. You're rolling
hot tonight. You know what? Use your good dice
rolls now. Yeah, great. Use them now. Give me
that nat 20 that you're going to need later.
No. And here we go. Last check. 14 on the die.
It's 23 for 15 on the die, so you're, again,
just one ahead of me. Nice. No, I'm one ahead
of you. I was going to say. I was like, wait
a minute. Yeah, wait a second. I was like, you
said 15. Yeah, you fall back another 10 feet.
But with that, this thing, ground shaking. You're
barely hanging on to this horse. Your fingers,
like, slipping every, you know, round here as
you're getting closer and closer. I think, like,
your hand's falling off, sweating, because you
sweat so profusely. It's your Steven's character.
You're holding on by a claw as forest overtakes
you. Hefty trees surrounding you. The horse maneuvering
slickly through them in this massive boule hits
the trees. You see it kind of dives into the
ground and just kind of like, you feel like,
you hear like this shaking as the trees behind
you are like moving, leaves falling everywhere.
And this thing pulls up. You realize it's getting
caught in the roots. It's like these first trees
when you start falling and collapsing, but it
is not going to maintain any kind of speed in
this environment as you slickly pull away. Jules,
you see this happening from the farmhouse. You
watch Ebulon disappear into the forest. And then
I run. And you run. I imagine I'm safe enough.
I'm so far away. You are way too far away. And
I knew the way that those rolls were going, I
knew I could stay there. It was a cool plan.
It was a cool, cool plan. Props for that. Steven,
I liked it. Thank you. I liked it. It was good
shit. It was good shit. I'm so glad you rolled
well. Yeah, I know. Right. That's the thing.
It's just one or two bad rolls, and that could
have really changed the game. So, Zebulon, you
sort of turn in the woods. I imagine you're kind
of moving through the forest, sort of wide around
the field. Exactly, yeah, to try to catch up
on the other side. And as you kind of move farther
away, you can hear more trees falling. You can
hear this aloud. Getting further and further
away. Bye -bye, Boulay. Jules. Yes? You reach
the woods. You see Chester is just, like, hanging
out right outside the woods. Basically, just
like, hey, come on, come on. What are you doing,
Jules? What are you doing out there, man? We
don't leave anybody behind, okay? I know, but...
I was just making sure that he was safe. I almost
left you behind. No. All right, all right. I
was safe. I was safe. Okay? Fine, fine. And we're
all here, and Zeb's coming around the corner.
He is. He's fine. You saw. He made it. Well,
that's news. Yeah. It might be good news, but
who knows? John Franklin just turns away. You
tell me. Cully just staring. Staring to the north.
You could see, like, he's barely holding himself
back from just moving on. Pushing towards whatever's
waiting. But he does wait, and you all wait.
A few minutes later. Brush parts, and Zebulon
is there looking. Give me a charisma check. Great.
Do performance, because why not? Okay. Yeah,
go back in there and change it. Zeb's time to
shine. Finally found it? Do persuasion. Yeah,
finally found it. I'm just kidding. See, Zebulon
comes in looking real fucking lame. He's like
holding on. He's like, at this point, you see
the reins are pulled back and Zebulon is like
falling off the back of the horse. The horse's
bushy tail is like in his face. Haggard and exhausted.
Did you guys see that? Did you guys see that?
I mean, no. Jules walks up to the side of the
horse and taps Zeb's leg and says, you did good,
kid. You did good. You saw? You should have run,
by the way. You were making me nervous. You were
making me nervous. That's why I stay. Oh, man.
Let's be real here. Come on. I was way out ahead.
There was no way that thing was catching me.
This horse. I saw, man. You handled that pretty
damn well. Yeah. Did anybody ever catch this
horse's name? Actually, you did. The horse is
Percy. Percy? I believe. Audrey, if I remember
right, Audrey was the horse that died to the
dire coyotes, and Percy's the horse that lived.
Okay. All right. Ward mentioned their names a
while back. So Percy just nays way more heroically
than Zebulon looks. And I take it nobody recorded
that, though, huh? You know, I thought about
it, but my thought was that if I was like, oh,
yeah, Zebulon pulls out the recording diamond.
then he'd roll poorly, and you'd be like, well,
he dropped the recording diamond. So I was like,
nah, it's fine. I'm just going to keep it in
his pocket. You might have had to roll some crazy
disadvantage dex roll to be able to maintain
your... To hold on to it. To hold on to the horse.
It would have been a little more difficult. All
right, so I don't regret that. And here you rest,
outside the field in the safety of the trees.
The relative safety, for you are still in the
rattle. Right now it is late afternoon. After
you came in the morning here, you rested for
a good long while inside the stone home. Now
the sun is starting to sink again. What do you
guys want to do? I thought we did this when the
sun first came up. We were like, okay, in the
morning we were going to have breakfast and do
this. When you guys... I think that's how we
left it. Last episode. Yeah. When you guys first
came upon this spot, you traveled through the
night, and so dawn was breaking as the Boulay
First came out and chased you. You hit the building,
and that was morning. You stayed eight hours,
which means it would now be moving night on evening.
It's not evening yet, and you know you're close.
It might not be nightfall before you hit there,
but it's looking like it could be sunset. All
right. Well, I guess there's nothing to do but
push on north. Yeah. All right. I think Zebulon's
going to stay on Percy and maybe take point,
do a little scouting. Okay. I like that. I mean,
he is the rogue. I like that for Zebulon, yeah.
I think he's comfortable on Percy now, and he
doesn't trust Kali enough to let Kali ride. Fair
point. I like this. Give me an animal handling
check, actually. Oh, excellent. Yeah, that'll
be... That'll be really good, I'm sure. Let's
see how much Percy likes you. Well, it's wisdom,
so I'm rolling with a negative three. Oh, my
God. He's not going to like you very much. Ten.
Oh, man. All right. You give Percy a pat. This
horse has been through some severe hell. It had
to run away from a boulet twice. It had to spend
the entire afternoon pooping all over a farmhouse.
In the farmhouse, yeah. I'd argue that that was
more uncomfortable for us than the horse. Right.
That's a good point. And it lost its owner. It
was there, too. It knows what happened. And its
companion horse. Yeah. And as you kind of go
to ride off on this thing, you stroke its ears
gently and fondly, and it turns its head. Its
black eyes just take you in, and there's just
some acceptance there. And just a snort. But
a good snort. A friendly snort. At the very least,
a snort of acknowledgement for an ally in this
hell. So we get a lot out of that snort. Get
a lot of that snort. It was a very telling snort.
Yeah, I guess so. You want to roll inside check
on the snort? You can't. No, I was going to say,
I was like, what's your animal handling? The
whole outcome of this quest rests on what this
snort tells us. It's true. It's true. I mean,
like, you can roll inside. The snort could be
lying. No, that's all right. I'm just going to
take it at face value. You fucking fool. At horse
face value. You trot along, moving on ahead of
the group. I'll say everyone's probably moving
at this point, but you're staying. How far ahead,
Zebulon? Let's call it mechanically significant.
Let's say, like, 50, 60 feet ahead. Hell yeah.
Okay. And you're the first to break from the
heavy, dense wood around you, where the trees
are far more sparse and scattered amongst these
open, yellow fields on red clay. Above you, you
can see the sun is sinking further and further.
The sky begins to burn just a little. And as
you move just a little further... You catch sight
of an old road coming in from the east and pushing
up north. You realize this is a... Actually,
are you going to hold up the road and wait for
everybody, or are you going to want to check
it out yourself? I mean, if I can see pretty
far down the road and it looks safe, then yeah,
I'll hold up here and wait at the junction. You
see no real dangers, but go ahead and roll me
a perception check anyway. Okay. Eleven. Within
eleven, you see a few things. First of all, you
see that the road itself has sort of deep tracks
impressed in the mud. Looks like carriages, horse
feet have pushed through here. Maybe not recently,
but at least at some point. And you realize this
must be a public road. Unlike the one that headed
towards Cradle Ace Lake, this road's actually
in use still. And so this is likely the road
leading directly to the farm pact that you are
seeking. You also see more small holes pushing
up into the road. You see it looks like it's
actually unstable. Parts of the mud and clay
have collapsed down, creating this very difficult
terrain as it's moving forward, where small holes
and one very large trail of holes. You see between
the burrows where something has appeared, those
same telltale handprint dotting all over the
place between something scratching and pulling
its way from burrow to burrow, traveling on this
very same road. I wonder if this is the road
that the wagon carrying the giant rattlesnake
came through. The wagon tracks and the horse
tracks that David just said we saw. I don't like
that. I wonder if they were going out, not in.
It is very, very possible. What are we heading
toward? It's not good. Our demise. But yeah,
he'll wait there at the fork for the rest of
the crew to catch up. And the crew break from
the trees as well, entering this sort of open
territory. As you look ahead, you see the trees
go along the road, get more and more sparse to
the point where it's just sort of open plains
once again. Red mud and yellow grass under a
burning red sky. Black clouds sort of slowly
moving above you. You can just feel it. The malevolence.
The darkness waiting for you ahead. What do you
guys think is up there? I don't know. But I know
who's up there. Kiana, this is it. We're close.
Just up this road, we're going to see many homes.
There's various farmhouses laid out over large
territory. But they're all alongside the road.
I don't know which one's Kiana's. I need to search
them all. When we find her, Oren, you and Kiana
are going to get on this horse, and you're going
to get out of here. He doesn't look at you. His
eyes narrow a bit, but he is focused wholly on
what's ahead. You can still save her. He's my
boy. And I can't be sure I can't save him too.
You can't be sure. Is it any better if all three
of you are dead? Sometimes I feel like I died
a long time ago. You can still live a long life.
You and Kiana. We're going to make sure you do.
That's our job. That's what we're here for. Damn
it. All right. Sure. But I ain't leaving till
we find her. I'm staying with you. I don't know
if she's going to come with y 'all, but she'll
come with me. That's all we want. This time,
I'm making damn sure she comes with me. And he
begins to move. Let's go. Let's do it. Staying
on horseback? Yeah, Zebulon's going to stay on
horseback, at least for now. I think Jules...
is kind of staying just behind the group, and
he's watching behind him, but he's also kind
of just keeping a really close eye on Cully,
ready to jump at any moment. All right. As you
move, maybe half a mile up the road, you see
the first farmhouse. It's off to your left. Not
far off the road at all, maybe 100 feet. Um...
Anything we can tell from the outside? A few
things. I'll make a check for this. Your passives
will get you this. The door looks like it's been
broken open. It's sort of flapping lazily against
the rim. It looks like there's a pattern on it,
like an X, made out in small handprints. Oh,
I hate that. In sort of a rusty... Brownish red.
And that smell of metal. Oh, it's strong now.
The air reeks of it, and it feels so thick, so
heavy. You also see this house is nothing like
the one you just left. That house had reinforced
everything. Reinforced windows, all stone home.
The door was, like, strong. And, I mean, you
heard Polder say. Actually, Polder, I will say
he broke off when you guys got out to go ahead
straight towards Promise to get back up. Got
to touch on Polder. He thanked you profusely,
Jules, but his sort of objective was, I'm getting
help. I'm going right now, hitting the promise.
I'm going to run as fast as I can, and I'll get
people to come. If y 'all need people, they'll
be on this road heading to that farmhouse, all
right? I mean to go all this time, but I couldn't
leave. Thank you. Thank you so much. And he took
off. So he's out of the way. But you see, these
homes are nothing like his, where his was reinforced,
built to survive the rattle. These homes are
new, new made and cheap. The windows, you see
this one, are shattered. So, I don't think, Jeremy,
that we're going to need to go inside and clear
every home that we come by. Right. Here's my
thought, and you tell me what you think. Zebulon
on the horse can kind of like go around the perimeter
of the house and kind of like, not like very
loudly, but kind of call out to see if anyone's,
you know, say, Hey, we're here to help. Come
on out. Okay. Can we give it a shot? Yeah. And
I think while, while you do that, I think Jules
is going to be going up to the front door, not
going in, but just kind of listening. Okay. Yeah,
so Zeb will trot around the perimeter. Hello?
Is anybody home? We'd like to help. Please come
on out and speak to us if you're here. You move
around the house. Jules, you're moving up closer
to the door you said to. Correct. So as you approach
the front, Jules, you notice there's dried blood
all over the broken glass. And... As you move
around back to Milan, you see there's clothing
and belongings lying in the mud all around. Left
sort of blowing and moving faintly in the breeze.
No sign of people, no sign of life. But as you
call out, in a back window shattered that you
can see, in one of the front windows that you're
looking at, Jules, you both see a severed hand.
Fingers. wrapping around the sort of window pane,
crawls up, almost like watching you, and just
sits there. And as your eyes fall on it, in both
your cases, you see these fingers, the pointer
finger in each hand, slowly raises, pointing
north. And they just sit there, frozen in this
pose, pointing you onwards. Wow. I feel like
we're in a horror movie. That's unsettling. Very
unsettling. Zebulon is very unsettled. He'll
trot the rest of the way back to the front of
the house. I think as you come around the corner,
say, hey, Zeb, look at this. Yeah, I saw the
same thing out back. Let's keep going. And you
move on. I'm with you. You return to your little
group. And you push onwards up the road. Another
farmhouse off to your right. These houses, I
think they're all empty. Does this one have the
red X on the door? You see another red X on a
broken door. You see more clothing and a belongings
just thrown around the yard. And you vaguely
think you see something on the roof. Small. raising
an index finger, and pointing. You keep moving?
Yeah, let's keep going. Okay. It's getting dark.
It is, indeed. Getting dark. Above you, you see
crows circling. Every once in a while, one seems
to drop down like it's looking for something,
and then just pulling away as if terrified, as
if it just can't land here. You move on. Another
house off to your left. Another red X. Keep moving.
Keep trotting. And as you get close, you watch
as suddenly the ground besides you shifts in
a few spots. So you have one hand to the left,
one a little farther to your right. These severed
hands digging their way out from the ground,
lining the road on both sides. And they raise
their pointer fingers and they point north. Imagine
all the epic loot we're missing in all those
houses. Things that could probably save our asses
in the fight that's to come. You totally missed
the Vorpal Sword. Right, yeah. A plus three Vorpal
Blade of hand -killing. Yeah, we're going to
keep moving. And you trot. Koli's just eyes on
every single one of them. Huge. Chester is, like,
close. He's, like, every time he walks by one,
he pushes a little bit, like, away from it towards
you, Jules. Yeah, I think Jules is actually kind
of, I think Jules has his hand on Chester. And
Jean Franklin's just so, looking at him with
such detest, just disgust. Well, I will say you're
both right about one thing. I'm actually starting
to miss that little town. I'm going to enjoy
myself when we get back there. If we get back
there. Gulps. We're going to get back, Sean.
Just remember what I asked you to do. And he
kind of nods his head in Orin's direction. Sean
nods, blue eyes, fierce. Fierce and frankly scared.
Hey, it's a pun, frankly. Sean frankly scared.
Sorry. Anyway. It's a serious mode for serious.
As you crest. A hill on this old, destroyed road.
And you see a large farmhouse. It appears abandoned
like the smaller houses, but there's no X marking
this one. You can see that along the road and
in the fields around it, there's farming implements
lying abandoned in the mud. You see sickly crops
in the field starting to die. You know this is
a new farm. It shouldn't be dying. Not yet. You
see the same clothes and possessions strewn around,
but not as many here. Just a few. And you see
another large burrow. Looks like it's right in
front of this building. And you see tracks. You
know what you're looking for. Hands moving closer
to it. Vanishing down one more time somewhere
beneath. the house. And I'll say this building
is probably about a squared building. I say large
farmhouse, but it isn't large like you would
be used to on the cities you're from. It's probably
about 50 feet by 50 feet. Squared building with
a wraparound porch. It seems like it's set pretty
much right on the road. You're about 500 feet
from it now. You can sort of make it out as you
get closer. What do you want to do? Oh, I should
also add, What you don't see. Because you don't
see a red X on this door. I don't know, Jeremy.
I kind of feel safe outside. Yeah, same. I don't
know if anybody's going to come out, but I think
we should at least give it a shot. Yeah. I don't
think we should split up and go around each side.
No. I think we need to stay as a group as we
approach the porch. Is it two stories or one?
One story. One story? Okay. Zebulon's going to
dismount at this point and maybe hand the reins
to Jaune. Kully, why don't you call out and see
if anyone's inside? And I don't think you even
need to ask him. He's already sort of trotting
down towards it, just a man on a mission. I don't
think Zebulon's going to let him get close. Did
you get in his way? Yeah, I think he's just going
to, like, grab his arm. How close do you let
him get? I don't think I let him leave the street.
Like, if the house is on the road. So you guys
get basically up towards the house, and he's
moving towards the porch. You grab him? Yeah.
Just call from here. If anyone's in there, they'll
respond. Yeah, Jules is going to come up on the
other side of him, too. He looks over at both
of you, and you can see, like, his eyes so panicked.
And they calm just a little bit, taking both
of you in. He nods. Keona! Keona, come on out!
It's your uncle. It's Uncle Oren, huh? No. It's
Uncle Kool -Aid. Kool -Aid, I'm back. Keona!
Silence. You guys are looking around. You can
see that some of these farm tools lying around
you. There's like a pitchfork where it's right
through a severed hand, which is no longer animate.
You can see another hand a little ways off. It's
like chopped. Some fingers lying sort of away
from it. Where a hoe is lying on the ground.
Looks like there was a battle here. And no sign
of victors. Zebulon's going to draw his weapons
at this point. Stay here. Kali, stay here. No.
We don't know what's in there. Ah, no. Who's
in there? I know. I know who you are. Colin Jr.
Come on out, son. Come on out. Come talk to your
pa. I came a long way. I came a long way to see
you, boy. You'll come out. You'll come out right
now. And more scratching in the mud and dirt.
His two hands. crawl up and point towards the
door. Oh, my God. I so don't want to go in there.
Fuck, I saw that coming, though. I knew that
was coming. You, like, look around behind you.
You can see, like, these hands still exactly
as you left them, inanimate in place, all pointing
all the way down the road. All right. Um, maybe
let's all stick together and let's... Let's walk
around on the porch. The porch goes all the way
around. We can look through the windows, see
what's going on before we go in. We stay as a
group. Yeah. Let's go. All right. Let's go. I
think at this point, Jules is now holding on
to Chester's arm. He's squeezing. I think you
grab his arm and he, like, a hand. Beaches out
to grab yours as well, squeezing tight. You've
never seen Chester so scared, and you've never
seen Chester so brave as he marches towards this
abandoned farmhouse. You guys move on to the
porch, the board squeaking beneath you, and you
pass by the front door. Yeah, I think... we'd
like to take a loop around. You said the porch
goes all the way around? It actually goes around
about half the home. I do have a map. I'm going
to go full theater of the mind for this, though,
because I think that's a little better for what
we're doing here. Okay, cool. Yeah, let's get
all the information we can, I suppose. So it's
going to wrap around to the left, basically,
so you can go around that. Okay, okay. You see
there's actually in the front of the home, there's
no windows, but as you loop around to the side,
you do see A large window. You want to peek in?
Yeah, definitely. You look in to see a living
room of some sort. You see the furniture in this
room is haphazardly arranged. Looks close to
falling apart. And beneath, the floor is covered
in hundreds of handprints. Looks like they're
painted using the crimson mud from outside. And
as you look in, give me a perception check. It's
a nine. Natural 20. Oh, excellent. Thank you.
You were looking into this, and you actually
kind of noticed that these hands seem to form
like a pattern almost swirling around the room.
But there's a break in the pattern where sort
of a large sofa chair is sort of knocked over
it. And it looks like there's an image under
there, something drawn on the floor. But you
can't make it out from here. You have to go inside.
And as you're sort of staring at this, looking
at that, wham! A hand slaps onto the glass in
front of you, scraping against it, and then one
finger points deeper inside, gesturing you, almost
beckoning you to enter. Come in. Come in. There's
another door just down the porch from where you
stand. Oh, okay. All right. It's at least a little
different than walking right through the front
door. Yeah. I mean, there's no way we... are
not going into this house. Right, yeah. Can we
look around back? Is there, like, a basement
entrance? You want to go into the basement? I'm
gathering all of the information I can. I get
it, but in the basement? I'm not saying go in.
It could be. Oh, my God, incredible. It could
be a spot to run out of. That's fair. I'm just
looking at all of our possible entrances and
exits. That's fair. I'm just as scared. Me too.
I have a little piddle in my pants right now.
So you move past the door on the left side of
the house to go around to the back. All right.
Just to kind of peek around. I don't think we're
like walking all the way around. I just kind
of want to peek around the back just to see.
You move around the back, outside, out back.
You can see the farmland stretching out. You
can see the sun is about to disappear over the
edge of the horizon. Thick mist. filling the
area down below. You see more farming tools just
laying there. You don't see an entrance into
the basement, but you do see another window looking
in. Some back room there. All right. I guess
let's take a quick peek. Yeah, might as well.
Okay. You peek in, and you're looking at a small
kitchen. You see this kitchen has been torn apart.
You see pots and pans are scattered everywhere
and rotting food streaks the floorboards. And
you see the backs of four human figures standing
still and motionless in the middle of the room,
swaying just the tiniest bit back and forth.
Jules. Jules, get over here. Do you see this?
Who the fuck is that? I bet they're like the
guys from the wagon in Promise. Well, you can
make out. You see simple rustic farming clothing,
overalls, hefty boots, no armor. I really want
to and don't want to knock on the window. I was
thinking the same thing. I don't know which one
it is. Right. Well, John said that they seem
to be controlled by something. Maybe whatever's
controlling them is in there waiting for us.
Maybe we can just leave them here and maybe they
won't. Maybe they don't have to die? I guess,
I don't know. Well, right now, whatever this
hand thing is isn't being outwardly aggressive
in a surefire way. To change that is to attack
these guys. So you're saying we don't knock on
the window? I think it's time to go inside and
see what this is all about. All right. There
are fewer surprises now. We know they're there.
Are you guys going in? Front or the side? I like
the idea of the side door. Same. And maybe Zeb
and Jean go in first. And then I think, yeah.
I think Chester and Jules are right behind them
because I think Jules wants to kind of keep Orn,
or, uh, Cully, kind of in the back. He's just
impatient, like, what do y 'all see? She in there.
Do you see Kiana? We're going in. We're going
in. Hell yeah, we are. We didn't see Kiana. Let,
um, let John and I go in first. You guys come
in behind us. We're going to keep you safe. When
it goes down to it, I need you to say you promise.
He's got her. He's got Kiana, and you know it.
We all know it. It's a trap. But if it's me or
her, I know, I know the value I have to you.
I need you to promise me you choose her. Promise
me, damn it! I promise we're going to do everything
we can to save Kiana. And you. And that's the
only option. He looks at you, Jules. That's what
we came here for. And that's what we're going
to do. All right. Let's go. All right. Zebulon
opens the door. Push the door open. Staring into
just the fading light above you is spilling out
into this black hallway. Scratches and handprints
lining the floors and walls. The sun in the sky
finally fully sinks. As darkness begins to overtake
your little group, as mist begins to rise and
cover the land surrounding you, and you begin
to move deeper into the building, taking your
first steps to Kiana's farmhouse and into Coley
Jr.'s trap. And we'll call it there. The sound
of my voice in this mic. Good. We're on it. One
minute. We're good. Hell yes. Fuck. I was watching
Steven. That phone's down. I'm safe. That is
some quality post -credit shit right there. Shit.