WEBVTT

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P -P -P -P -Pants, people! It's David here, and

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I'm here with the usual stuff. Give us a rating,

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like our Instagram, check us out. But also, I

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want to touch on something real, real quick.

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Because here at Fantasy Pants, as you probably

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know, we don't really shy away from a lot of

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the darker themes and sort of gritty narrative

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that we, as players and as a DM, love to see

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and love to play out. Here we are in what I'm

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calling the horror arc. There may be more like

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it to come. And I just want to put a quick content

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warning out there because we're going to have

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a little more gore, a little more violence, and

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maybe some tragedy discussed here on the show

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that might make some people uncomfortable. And

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that's totally fine if it's not your jam. But

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I just want to let you know, up ahead of the

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episode. Thank you so much. And hey, enjoy. Celebration

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of heroes, all of promise amazed. Though these

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joys had been muted for the heroes we praised.

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Jules nearly killed, said feeling he failed.

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His fear leaving scars far under his scale. Met

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with Proclaimer, who revealed highest stakes.

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Lady Dre has fled town towards Cradle Lace Lake.

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So they rode for the rattle towards terrible

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things. And as the quiet consumed them, Jules

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brought out his strings. And they sang. Oh, they

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sang. Excellent. Hard commitment. How you guys

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doing? Excellent. Good, good. We did sing, and

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I got you guys to sing, too. You did. That was...

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That was fun. That was a crazy, wild, drunken

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recording session. I wish we had the behind -the

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-scenes of that, because, yeah, we just had,

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like, disappointed Dad Jeremy making us go and

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do... Just like, do the line again. Do the line.

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It was awesome. It was awesome. That's what you

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do. You do it multiple times, so you have a shit

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-ton of material to work with, and you pick the

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best one, and you work with it. No complaint

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here. It was awesome. But the thing is, every

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single take... required one more can of beer.

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Well, yeah, exactly. I was like, okay, well,

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that one wasn't good enough. Let's try it after

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another beer. And then finally, finally, Stephen

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had the perfect take and literally like a split

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second after the last word just burped right

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into the mic. Fucked up the whole take. I thought

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there was plenty of time. I thought there was

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a breath between the word and the burp. There

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was a burp between the word and the burp. Funny

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story about that one, though. You started saying,

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am I singing this horny enough? And then... We

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took it. That's just the best way I know how

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to do it, I guess. And then we did a take. And

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then literally the same thing with the burp.

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A second after you stopped singing, you said,

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was that horny enough? And we said, no, that's

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a bad take. Well, when I went back and listened

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to them all again, I used that take. Amazing.

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I'm telling you. He just kept getting hornier

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and hornier to get better and better. It was

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the super duper horny take. We need more horny

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Zebulon. You're welcome. That's what we need

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in this podcast. You're welcome. That just sounds

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so wrong. I'm just a giver. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God.

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You're a giver and you're a friend, which I think

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brings us to what Stephen wants to talk about

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today. It's a transition because I'm a professional.

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Yeah, we got to talk about friends. Yeah. Capital

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F friends. I enjoy it. Why? Because my wife enjoys

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it. Okay. Fair point. So the problem I have with

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friends. is that you're watching Friends instead

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of watching Letterkenny. Let me rebut that with

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this. I could watch Friends alone on my couch,

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sadly, maybe with a cat on my shoulder, or I

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could watch Friends next to Cute. Now, I know

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what I would choose. Well, hold on, hold on,

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hold on. If you want to watch a group of straight

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white friends pretend that they're funny, then

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I have the podcast for you. Is it ours? It's

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ours. Excellent. Damn. You were waiting on that

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for like, that's probably like written down in

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your head. I had that one down at like 9 a .m.

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this morning. Yeah, I was, yeah. All right. Speaking

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of our podcast and Fanny's Pants, and Fanny's

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Pants listeners, David, I'm about to put you

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in the hot seat here. What? Listeners. But Chandler's

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funny. What's up? Steven and I, for Halloween

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this year, would like the three of us to dress

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up as the three from Letterkenny. Right. Let

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us know on Instagram. If you think David needs

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to fucking watch Letterkenny so that we can make

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this happen. All I'm saying is, the hills are

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alive with the sound of music. That sounds like

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a stupid Ross thing. No, it's Chandler, so ha!

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Watch the show, you'll get my humor. Dude, when

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I was in... Like, I've seen... I had already

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seen too many episodes of Friends. Was done with

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it, was sick and over with it. And then somebody

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in my family decided that they were going to

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rewatch. Friends. So I would come home from high

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school, and once I walked in the door, the show

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Friends was already playing. And it would continue

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to play until I went to bed. And that repeated

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for, I don't know, how long did Friends run?

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Too long? I will never willingly watch an episode

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of Friends again. If that happened to you with

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Letterkenny, you'd also be upset. Actually, I'm

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interested in re -watching Letterkenny because

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it's a good, funny show. I'm telling you, first

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two minutes, you will be hooked. David, we're

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in the platinum age of television. I got things

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to do. Dude. I got to write recap songs. Well,

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you got time for Friends. Make time for Letterkenny.

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That's the thing, is all the time you're spending

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on Friends is wasted when there are shows like

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Letterkenny and, I don't know, 10 ,000 other

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ones. Yes. 10 ,000. You've had 20 years to watch

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Friends. Put it to bed. Damn. Now I feel old.

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And do it before Halloween. All right. Or else

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we're going to replace you. We'll see. You can

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go. Well, no, you're going to hear from our listeners

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on Instagram, and they will decide. They'll decide,

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all right. They'll side with me. I'm just saying,

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no one's heard of your one pony show, but everyone

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knows of the show I like. I'm sure millions of

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people have watched this show. Yeah, there are

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lots of ponies in the show and lots of awards

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that it's won. Yes. Yeah. Take your small town

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silly fest. Get out of my face. That's the premise

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of the show. Okay. There's one thing that I think

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we can all still agree on, though, is this is

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a much better conversation than Heroes. That's

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important. Okay. All right. You know what? We're

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done with it, Enter. We're just not going to

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do it anymore. How about I kill you guys instead?

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Let's get to that. Oh, fuck. Because you guys

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are moving into the rattle, and that sucks. You

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want to know why it sucks? Open your ears. Here

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it comes. I almost choked. Because you guys are

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traveling in a wagon. And now you're entering

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dense fog and thick trees. You can immediately

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feel Proclaimer Ward, the rain start tensing

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up. You can see them eyeing every which way.

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You can see concern. mixed with drive in their

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features, because they want the story. They want

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to know what happened in Promise. They want to

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know where Lady Dre went, and I'm sure you do

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too. And the only clue you have is Cradle Lace

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Lake. Wart knows the way. And so you are moving

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into the fog, into the rattle, into the mist.

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And the air has taken on this metallic tang to

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its... Taste and its smell. It's filling your

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mouths. Jump freaking throw -ups again. Throws

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up again. It's weird. Leave it. Leave it. Oh,

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it's staying in. This air is thick, too. It's

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this cold, sticky humidity that's just everywhere,

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cloying. You can't get away from it. And that

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twilight sky is getting dangerously dark. You

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can see Ward's tensing about that, too, as this

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path is getting harder and harder to follow.

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There's a lot of stars lighting the sky and a

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great full moon overhead shining down, so it's

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not wholly dark. There isn't wholly obscured

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for you. But still, it is closing in around your

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small wagon. You see these skeletal trees. Greenery

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seems to be falling away the farther you go.

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These trees are reaching out over the path, shaking

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in a phantom breeze occasionally, reaching down

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this breeze, brushing the edge of the wagon,

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scraping against the drapery, whatever you call

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it. Now, as you're moving into this dangerous

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territory, I'd like to know what everyone's doing.

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Uh, Jules is staring out the window of the wagon.

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Out the front or back? You can look to the front

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over the ward's head, basically, or you can look

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out the back. I think he's sticking his head

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out the back. Okay. Zebulon. Hmm. As the wagon

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passes by these trees and branches that are reaching

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out, Zebulon's pulling little sticks off of them

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to play with. Such a child. This 19 -year -old.

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He's fidgeting. All right, yeah. No, I mean,

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that makes sense. Nervous fidgeting. Hell yeah.

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And Joan Franklin, he's already sick from the

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wagon ride now with all this, the air closing

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in on him. He just looks miserably sick. He just

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wants to get off so bad. You just kind of see

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him holding his stomach and, like, almost fetal

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position in the back, looking more miserable

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than you've ever seen the turtle before. And

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Chester, let me ask you, Jules, what is Chester

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doing? I think he's probably doing a mix of looking

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out the front and then looking back at Jules.

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Still waiting to have that conversation. Yeah,

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is there only... Is there only a window on the

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front and back, or are there windows on the sides?

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Yeah, it's a closed carriage on the sides, just

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the front and back. Okay. So actually, I think

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he's sitting back towards the back with Jules,

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kind of poking his head up, looking at the front,

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but then kind of looking back at Jules, kind

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of going back and forth, but he's next to Jules

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in the back. Okay. That's where we'll open up,

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as you're moving slowly down this trail, looking

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out the back, watching these skeletal branches.

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bow and shake at your departure, almost waving

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you goodbye and good luck. And Chester turns

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to you. Jules, hey, we never really got a chance

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to talk. He looks back at everybody else who

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seems kind of distracted. What happened back

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there, man? I mean, I know, you know, I know

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you got things going on, but like, this? Did

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you know about this? He gestures to your gloved

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hand. Chester, you know this is always a possibility.

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But... You know this is inside of me. Why is

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it happening now? I don't know. Is it going to

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keep happening? I don't know. Are you going to

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change? What is this? This is new, but Chester,

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I am in control still. Okay? I'm still Jules.

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I'm here. Okay. Okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry,

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yeah. You trust me, right? Of course. Yeah, Jules,

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yeah. If I ever feel like I am no longer Jules,

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I will tell you. Okay? Okay, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

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But I'm still here right now. I'm in control.

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Yeah. And I got you. And he... I won't say he

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settles down because he's still very much on

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edge. You see, he's... gripping his bow in his

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hand with white knuckles, an arrow in the other

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just ready to draw. But his focus moves away

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from you now. And he moves towards the front.

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And I'd like you to make a perception check for

00:12:54.149 --> 00:12:56.710
Chester. This is going to be with disadvantage

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because it is dark and he is human. Ten. He looks

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out. nods. Starts moving back. Proclaimer Ward

00:13:13.179 --> 00:13:18.220
is in the front. Alright, y 'all. Closing in

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soon on Cradle Ace Lake. It ain't too far on

00:13:20.620 --> 00:13:24.500
the rattle. Sad thing is, weren't always the

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rattle. Used to be a farm out in the ribbon.

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You see, it spreads. This fog, this land. Slowly

00:13:33.419 --> 00:13:38.759
closing in on all of us. Scary, ain't it? A little

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too loud for the situation. Zebulon goes, yeah,

00:13:43.820 --> 00:13:45.500
what do you guys think out there in the fog?

00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:53.440
Looks pretty scary. Almost in response. Get out.

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You just hear a as the wagon He comes to a shuddering

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halt. Horses whinnying, hey, hey, whoa, whoa,

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what are you, yeah, hey, come on. And Colonel

00:14:07.419 --> 00:14:08.860
Lawrence is trying to control them, and the horses

00:14:08.860 --> 00:14:13.179
are standing up, whinnying, panicking. Did you

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have to say that? You scared the horses. Well,

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I mean, I don't think they can understand me.

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You sound a little too excited to know what's

00:14:21.539 --> 00:14:24.679
in that fog. Well, I mean, come on, don't you

00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:28.509
wonder? You are. Kevin Ward's still trying to

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get control of the horses that just will not

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move. I don't understand. They're not... Hey.

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Y 'all see that? And you see they look out off

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the road. You see now the trees are less dense,

00:14:42.090 --> 00:14:45.169
a little more sparse. As you peek out, you can

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see your... So on this old sort of bumpy road,

00:14:49.090 --> 00:14:51.750
running through this sort of... this grove of

00:14:51.750 --> 00:14:55.759
trees, you see there's a large sort of... small,

00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:57.759
what do you call it, a plateau, a cliff, maybe

00:14:57.759 --> 00:14:59.899
10 feet high up, that kind of looks over this

00:14:59.899 --> 00:15:02.840
area. Then sort of just beyond that, the rising

00:15:02.840 --> 00:15:07.440
moon just shining down over the spot. It's like

00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:11.240
just flooding you. And do you guys want to take

00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:14.879
a look out the front? Yeah, absolutely. I think

00:15:14.879 --> 00:15:16.740
Chester looks out the front. I think Jules is

00:15:16.740 --> 00:15:18.679
still looking out the back. You can all make

00:15:18.679 --> 00:15:22.500
perception checks, this time without disadvantage.

00:15:23.299 --> 00:15:25.279
That's very generous of you. So you are now closer.

00:15:25.460 --> 00:15:33.580
Oh, benevolent DM. Well, that's a six. Jules

00:15:33.580 --> 00:15:37.519
got an eight. Chester got a 13. Okay. I needed

00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:40.279
a 12, so that's going to be good. Jules, you're

00:15:40.279 --> 00:15:41.740
looking out the back. Zeb, you're kind of looking

00:15:41.740 --> 00:15:44.820
around. You're looking the wrong direction. Hold

00:15:44.820 --> 00:15:48.879
on. Does Jean get a roll here? Sure, yeah. He

00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:53.340
gets up. What's happening? It's already intolerable

00:15:53.340 --> 00:15:55.679
enough when the horse is wet. What? Shh. What?

00:15:56.399 --> 00:15:59.919
We're percepting. Oh, sorry. It's only a 12,

00:16:00.019 --> 00:16:02.200
so I'll let Chester take it away. And a 12 actually

00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:03.899
works. He sees it, too. So he walks over like,

00:16:04.019 --> 00:16:07.419
what the hell? And Chester's like, holy shit,

00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:09.860
holy shit, holy shit. Jules, Jules, Seb, look,

00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.179
look. And he directs your eyes towards something.

00:16:12.820 --> 00:16:15.100
And you can see about 30 feet off the road in

00:16:15.100 --> 00:16:17.980
the direction of that sort of raised ground,

00:16:18.259 --> 00:16:24.240
you see blood shining against a boulder. You

00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:26.340
see the remains of a body lying crumpled at the

00:16:26.340 --> 00:16:30.519
stone's base, meat peeled away from a clean bone,

00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:33.259
jutting up sharply and standing out against those

00:16:33.259 --> 00:16:37.480
splotches of blood on rock. And then you hear

00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:47.779
the sounds of something like these yipping, barking

00:16:47.779 --> 00:16:51.769
howls, but loud. and bestial. And as you look

00:16:51.769 --> 00:16:54.669
out, you see a shadow cast across the ground

00:16:54.669 --> 00:16:59.889
as three massive figures move up to that high

00:16:59.889 --> 00:17:03.250
ground between you and the moon, just standing

00:17:03.250 --> 00:17:10.170
as silhouettes. You see three massive coyotes.

00:17:11.190 --> 00:17:14.829
And Tungsten even just goes, Oh shit! Shit! Die,

00:17:14.869 --> 00:17:18.069
coyotes! Oh shit! I want you guys to roll for

00:17:18.069 --> 00:17:23.789
initiative. Alright, here we go. Boy. Jules is

00:17:23.789 --> 00:17:31.109
13. And Chester got a 19. Okay. So, thanks to,

00:17:31.109 --> 00:17:35.069
uh, thanks to Regish Audacity, Zebulon got a

00:17:35.069 --> 00:17:41.509
22 for initiative. Nice. Okay, that's a 12 for

00:17:41.509 --> 00:17:46.470
Jean. Let me put you on the map! Uh... Once again,

00:17:46.670 --> 00:17:50.029
shout out to Sound, Pukie Girl, Rochelle. I asked

00:17:50.029 --> 00:17:54.109
for a dusty old trail through some wood. That

00:17:54.109 --> 00:17:57.410
is a killer map. And damn, did she deliver again.

00:17:57.769 --> 00:18:00.930
Here you have this sort of raised ground where

00:18:00.930 --> 00:18:03.430
these three dire coyotes have lined up against

00:18:03.430 --> 00:18:06.130
the light of the moon. Below them you have, and

00:18:06.130 --> 00:18:08.029
you can see it now more clearly as you step out,

00:18:08.069 --> 00:18:12.630
the corpse of a horse. torn apart, blood splattering

00:18:12.630 --> 00:18:15.250
the boulder just down below where they stand.

00:18:15.430 --> 00:18:17.130
As you move south from there, you see your own

00:18:17.130 --> 00:18:19.750
horses whinnying and panicking, Tungsten trying

00:18:19.750 --> 00:18:24.049
super hard to keep them, but they will not. They're

00:18:24.049 --> 00:18:25.849
in danger of just turning the wagon over. They're

00:18:25.849 --> 00:18:28.589
so panicked at the sight of these things. And

00:18:28.589 --> 00:18:31.369
you guys are in the wagon. Now, these coyotes

00:18:31.369 --> 00:18:35.750
are about 60 feet away from you, give or take.

00:18:35.869 --> 00:18:38.509
All three of them looming all over you over this

00:18:38.509 --> 00:18:41.420
cliff. And I want to ask everyone here one question

00:18:41.420 --> 00:18:44.440
before we really jump into initiative. Out the

00:18:44.440 --> 00:18:48.500
back, out the front, staying on the wagon. I've

00:18:48.500 --> 00:18:51.619
got to put you on this map. So we can exit the

00:18:51.619 --> 00:18:53.700
wagon from the front or the back? Yes, I'm going

00:18:53.700 --> 00:18:55.180
to put you where you say you are. I don't want

00:18:55.180 --> 00:18:56.740
to keep you in the wagon because that would just

00:18:56.740 --> 00:18:58.700
suck for me to keep track of you. So you get

00:18:58.700 --> 00:19:00.579
a free five -foot movement bonus despite your

00:19:00.579 --> 00:19:04.640
initiative. Yeah, I'll say front. Yeah, I think

00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:07.019
Jules and Chester are going out the back. Okay,

00:19:07.099 --> 00:19:10.220
then Zeb and... And Jean, we'll go out the front.

00:19:10.420 --> 00:19:13.279
Okay. Great, we'll do that. Okay, so you guys

00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:17.099
leap out the front, just jumping past a panicked

00:19:17.099 --> 00:19:20.099
tungsten. As you land down, these things stare

00:19:20.099 --> 00:19:22.859
down at you. And out the back, we just see curtain

00:19:22.859 --> 00:19:27.099
flies open. Jules and Chester land. Jules, you

00:19:27.099 --> 00:19:29.220
had a second there. You knew something was coming

00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:31.900
up. Your cloak is billowing. Damn straight it's

00:19:31.900 --> 00:19:34.700
billowing. In the phantom wind. What did you

00:19:34.700 --> 00:19:36.200
say that was? That's plus one to AC? Plus one

00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:38.019
to AC and saving throws. Remember that because

00:19:38.019 --> 00:19:41.420
it's going to come up in this fight. And so this

00:19:41.420 --> 00:19:44.400
battle begins. And you might think it begins

00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:47.740
with Zebulon with his 21 initiative. But you'd

00:19:47.740 --> 00:19:50.880
be wrong. It's going to begin with this dire

00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:54.960
coyote right here with his 22 initiative. Oh,

00:19:54.980 --> 00:19:59.099
my God. Yeah, I thought I rolled a 22, but just

00:19:59.099 --> 00:20:01.960
the way the character sheet was set up, it was

00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:06.240
really a plus four. So, came up to 21. Damn.

00:20:06.440 --> 00:20:09.940
With my 50 feet of movement, this one that's

00:20:09.940 --> 00:20:11.880
more... Did you just say 50 feet? Oh, yeah. This

00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:13.839
one that's more centrally located actually has

00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:17.240
enough movement speed to jump down from the high

00:20:17.240 --> 00:20:20.160
ground, just bouncing down the hill, charging

00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:22.460
past the corks of the horse, and running right

00:20:22.460 --> 00:20:26.839
up to Jean Franklin. And I'll make an attack.

00:20:29.619 --> 00:20:34.319
All right, that's a two on the die. So... Completely

00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:36.619
whiffs it. Jaune just spins around. This thing

00:20:36.619 --> 00:20:39.400
just rakes off the back of his shell. Jaune is

00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:42.619
completely unharmed. Spear in hand. Just, all

00:20:42.619 --> 00:20:47.039
right then, beast. Prepare yourself. And that's

00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:50.380
going to be Zebulon. All right. Zeb will step

00:20:50.380 --> 00:20:56.500
up to this coyote and draw his sabers and take

00:20:56.500 --> 00:21:02.380
a swing with each one. Okay. That's a 13 for

00:21:02.380 --> 00:21:07.119
the first swing. 13 does not hit. Okay, great.

00:21:07.660 --> 00:21:11.119
It weaves out of the way. Even worse for the

00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:14.220
second one. Wow, two whiffs. That's not good.

00:21:14.299 --> 00:21:17.599
Two whiffs. Wow. Okay, this thing weaves its

00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:19.839
own way, weaves the other, snarls towards you.

00:21:20.099 --> 00:21:25.819
You just made an enemy, Zebulon. Yeah, I'll take

00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:33.819
a bonus action. Disengage. Step. Step just five

00:21:33.819 --> 00:21:39.400
feet to the right. Okay. Just to the right. Gotcha.

00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:44.200
So you slide just a short ways away. And now

00:21:44.200 --> 00:21:46.859
it's my turn again. And I'm sorry to tell you,

00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:48.819
Zebulon, that despite that five foot movement,

00:21:48.980 --> 00:21:54.339
you are still in this one's range. as this thing

00:21:54.339 --> 00:21:58.039
just barely has enough space to plow down off

00:21:58.039 --> 00:22:00.539
that high ground, come running up to attack you.

00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:05.359
Do I attack you or do I attack the turtle? Wedgie.

00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:08.299
What's that? What? Two -weapon fighting as a

00:22:08.299 --> 00:22:10.660
bonus action. Oh, good move. Good thinking. Okay,

00:22:10.759 --> 00:22:13.140
yeah. Well, is it a wedgie if we correct it on

00:22:13.140 --> 00:22:15.400
the spot? It is not a wedgie. We can just cut

00:22:15.400 --> 00:22:17.660
it, right? As a reward. Maybe. No, not that we

00:22:17.660 --> 00:22:19.180
talked about wedgies. We can't cut it. No way

00:22:19.180 --> 00:22:21.079
in hell. Because as a reward for correcting that

00:22:21.079 --> 00:22:23.619
wedgie, for moving back to that spot, I now have

00:22:23.619 --> 00:22:26.440
pack tactics on both of you and John, which means

00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:28.559
I can roll with advantage against both of you.

00:22:29.140 --> 00:22:30.460
Now I'm going to roll a die to see which one.

00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:32.059
Isn't that fun? Excellent. Aren't you glad you

00:22:32.059 --> 00:22:33.339
corrected that? Yeah, that's great. Great, because

00:22:33.339 --> 00:22:35.579
these guys are both within five feet of you.

00:22:36.579 --> 00:22:38.480
They've got you surrounded. They know how to

00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:41.390
work together. Unlike your stupid party of stupid

00:22:41.390 --> 00:22:46.609
stupids. Got him. Got him. 1, 2, 3, Zebulon.

00:22:46.670 --> 00:22:50.930
4, 5, 6, Jaune. Here we go. That's a 1. Zebulon.

00:22:51.890 --> 00:22:56.349
How about a 20 to hit? Yeah, that's a hit. Oh,

00:22:56.349 --> 00:22:58.130
my God. I thought it might. I thought it might.

00:22:58.269 --> 00:23:04.369
Okay. Holy moly. That is 12 points of damage.

00:23:04.410 --> 00:23:06.710
Oh, we're dying tonight. Shit. We're dying tonight.

00:23:06.890 --> 00:23:10.849
I need you to make a strength saving throw. Holy

00:23:10.849 --> 00:23:13.190
fuck. Kip, let me take the damage first. Hold

00:23:13.190 --> 00:23:15.970
on. Wow. David, this is not the boss battle.

00:23:16.470 --> 00:23:19.029
Dude, yeah. This is bad. This is not okay. This

00:23:19.029 --> 00:23:22.490
is in the book. What can I tell you? Oh, my God.

00:23:22.509 --> 00:23:25.670
Yeah, I just, I crit. Zebulon crit everywhere

00:23:25.670 --> 00:23:28.329
with a natural one. Bad kind of crit. The liquid

00:23:28.329 --> 00:23:31.960
crit. Yeah, liquid crit. Oh, my God. Now, a saving

00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:33.640
throw isn't going to cause horses, even though

00:23:33.640 --> 00:23:35.380
there are panicked horses literally right next

00:23:35.380 --> 00:23:37.660
to you. Yeah. Well, that does mean you are prone.

00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:39.680
I guess I can kind of see why that guy wouldn't

00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.619
rent us his horses. As this thing brings you

00:23:41.619 --> 00:23:43.900
down with his bite, pulls you down to the ground,

00:23:43.940 --> 00:23:47.619
Zebulon, you come dropped to the earth below

00:23:47.619 --> 00:23:50.859
this snarling maw. There will be death this evening.

00:23:51.900 --> 00:23:53.799
Welcome to the rattle, gentlemen. That escalated

00:23:53.799 --> 00:23:57.220
fucking quickly. Welcome to the rattle. That's

00:23:57.220 --> 00:23:59.619
going to be Chester. We're going to die. Oh,

00:23:59.619 --> 00:24:04.109
my. God, there's three of those. Chester's going

00:24:04.109 --> 00:24:08.410
to go with a short bow to the dire coyote that

00:24:08.410 --> 00:24:10.470
just attacked Zeb. I believe that's this one,

00:24:10.509 --> 00:24:13.650
correct? Yes, the one closer to Chester. You're

00:24:13.650 --> 00:24:15.289
about ten feet away. You're kind of rounding

00:24:15.289 --> 00:24:16.750
around the edge of the wagon. You can see this

00:24:16.750 --> 00:24:19.390
thing bring Zeb down. Chester's got a clean shot.

00:24:20.230 --> 00:24:24.009
All right, he's going for it. Hell yeah. That's

00:24:24.009 --> 00:24:28.680
a 15 to hit. That's going to hit. Oh. Give me

00:24:28.680 --> 00:24:31.480
a quick second. I believe Chester has an ability

00:24:31.480 --> 00:24:33.640
that may allow him to attack the other one as

00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:36.279
well. Quick reload, baby. You want to go for

00:24:36.279 --> 00:24:38.220
a second? Chester fires one shot, and he can

00:24:38.220 --> 00:24:39.859
fire a shot at the one next to it. Let me just

00:24:39.859 --> 00:24:41.339
read this out for the listeners. Quick reload.

00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:44.859
Once on each of their turns when the archer makes

00:24:44.859 --> 00:24:46.500
a ranged weapon attack, they can make another

00:24:46.500 --> 00:24:48.259
attack with the same weapon against a different

00:24:48.259 --> 00:24:50.200
creature that is within five feet of the original

00:24:50.200 --> 00:24:52.630
target. Hell yeah. Damn straight. Thank you,

00:24:52.650 --> 00:24:54.750
Paul Metzger. So do we want to hit the damage

00:24:54.750 --> 00:24:56.250
first, or do we want to go for the second shot?

00:24:56.430 --> 00:24:58.029
Give me a second shot. I think narratively second

00:24:58.029 --> 00:25:01.630
shot first. Yeah, yeah. That sounds cool. It's

00:25:01.630 --> 00:25:03.990
not going to hit. It's a nine. Second one goes.

00:25:04.569 --> 00:25:06.769
Veers are over the second one's head. Roll that

00:25:06.769 --> 00:25:10.450
damage on the first one. Fuck, it's only a two.

00:25:11.549 --> 00:25:14.730
Plus? Oh, yeah. It's 1d6 plus two, so it's a

00:25:14.730 --> 00:25:19.519
four. Four damage. Okay. Yeah. It just scrapes

00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:22.059
over its back, leaves a bloody streak, starts

00:25:22.059 --> 00:25:26.140
to run. But this thing looks hungry. Did you

00:25:26.140 --> 00:25:28.359
say it starts to run? The blood starts to run.

00:25:28.539 --> 00:25:33.519
Oh. Yeah, you wish. I'm like, A -O -O's all around.

00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:35.960
He's like, oh, shit, I'm not messing with that

00:25:35.960 --> 00:25:37.940
kid. Just turns around, beats it. I mean, I'm

00:25:37.940 --> 00:25:40.599
okay with that. I bet you would be. Last one's

00:25:40.599 --> 00:25:43.259
going to go. Unfortunately, he can't reach anybody.

00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:48.509
Just use his entire movement to... If I don't

00:25:48.509 --> 00:25:50.349
move, I can get right next to the other one.

00:25:50.390 --> 00:25:52.289
I can't actually fit between Jean and this horse,

00:25:52.349 --> 00:25:53.710
though. So I can't actually get around to Jean

00:25:53.710 --> 00:25:55.509
Franklin. So this one's actually going to attack

00:25:55.509 --> 00:25:59.170
the horse. Just pounces on the first horse on

00:25:59.170 --> 00:26:01.509
the wagon's lead. I'm going to roll some. That's

00:26:01.509 --> 00:26:07.430
going to hit. Okay. You see this horse gets like

00:26:07.430 --> 00:26:11.109
a huge rip from its flesh of its shoulder. Still

00:26:11.109 --> 00:26:14.009
like screaming as this coyote leaps on top of

00:26:14.009 --> 00:26:16.369
it and begins to go to town. That's going to

00:26:16.369 --> 00:26:19.220
be Jules. I think he's going to move. Jules is

00:26:19.220 --> 00:26:21.519
going to move up next to Chester. Do you move

00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:24.119
up like out into the, you know, past the sort

00:26:24.119 --> 00:26:27.099
of wagons sort of range of safety and they kind

00:26:27.099 --> 00:26:29.960
of where the coyotes continue? I want to say

00:26:29.960 --> 00:26:32.680
coy dogs so bad every time because we are from

00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:35.759
New England. These dire coy dogs. That's when

00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:39.700
a regular dog has babies with a coyote. They're

00:26:39.700 --> 00:26:41.960
all coy dogs to me. I don't care. Then you get

00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:46.299
coy dogs. And then I'm going to cast Dissonant

00:26:46.299 --> 00:26:49.700
Whispers on the closest Dire Coyote. That would

00:26:49.700 --> 00:26:54.140
be clutch. That's a Wisdom save? Yeah, it's a

00:26:54.140 --> 00:26:57.480
Wisdom save. That's an absolute fail with a three

00:26:57.480 --> 00:27:00.279
on the die. That is a 100 % fail, so... Yeah,

00:27:00.279 --> 00:27:01.359
that's great. That's one that's already been

00:27:01.359 --> 00:27:03.880
hurt, too. Yep, you also take 3d6 psychic damage

00:27:03.880 --> 00:27:07.400
on that. That's not nothing. That's the play

00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:13.859
right there. Nice roll. That is a 14. 14 damage?

00:27:14.059 --> 00:27:17.920
14. That's huge. Okay, that is huge. Wow. Woof.

00:27:19.059 --> 00:27:22.339
Yeah, okay, you see this arrow shoots over, sinks

00:27:22.339 --> 00:27:25.019
into this thing's flesh, or just cuts right over,

00:27:25.079 --> 00:27:27.500
and then as this arrow goes by, you can see Jules

00:27:27.500 --> 00:27:29.059
steps out, and what's this look like again? As

00:27:29.059 --> 00:27:31.140
you cast this just behind Chester's attack? I

00:27:31.140 --> 00:27:33.319
think it's generally a white mist that comes

00:27:33.319 --> 00:27:36.440
out. Hell yeah. You hear the screams and the

00:27:36.440 --> 00:27:41.869
shrieks. So at home here in the rattle. It envelops

00:27:41.869 --> 00:27:47.710
him around the ears. God. And I must take my

00:27:47.710 --> 00:27:50.470
reaction to move 50 feet. As far as you can.

00:27:50.730 --> 00:27:52.890
As far as I can move in a movement. 50 feet away.

00:27:53.269 --> 00:27:55.049
He goes back to where he started this combat

00:27:55.049 --> 00:27:56.930
at the top of the hill. He's turning and running,

00:27:56.950 --> 00:27:59.470
leaping up. Yes, Zebulon. And I must take my

00:27:59.470 --> 00:28:02.509
reaction. To make an AOL. Yes, you must. And

00:28:02.509 --> 00:28:04.450
if you want, Jaune's as well. You're both doing

00:28:04.450 --> 00:28:06.930
5B. Wait, question. I've got to do this in honesty

00:28:06.930 --> 00:28:10.390
and transparency. Can you take an AOL when you're

00:28:10.390 --> 00:28:14.470
prone? Oh, shit. Zebulon is prone. We don't want

00:28:14.470 --> 00:28:18.650
another Wedgie. I hate to bring it up. I hate

00:28:18.650 --> 00:28:20.930
to, but... That was so good, because I was out

00:28:20.930 --> 00:28:24.369
for blood. Yeah. You may attack with disadvantage.

00:28:25.230 --> 00:28:28.230
Okay, great. Okay. Yeah, Zebulon will take that.

00:28:28.410 --> 00:28:31.049
Jaune is not going to take his. I'm saving Jaune's

00:28:31.049 --> 00:28:38.650
reaction. Ooh, okay. It's a 10. 10 does not hit.

00:28:38.849 --> 00:28:41.490
Okay. So you reach out where you are on the ground.

00:28:41.549 --> 00:28:43.390
You can't get purchased enough to hit this thing.

00:28:43.430 --> 00:28:45.849
As this fog envelopes it, it just shakes it,

00:28:45.930 --> 00:28:48.130
snarling. It just turns around and starts running

00:28:48.130 --> 00:28:52.750
away, whimpering. The coyotes look back at it,

00:28:52.829 --> 00:28:57.759
turn back to you. More ferocity. Well, lesson

00:28:57.759 --> 00:29:01.460
learned here. I should have done this first,

00:29:01.579 --> 00:29:04.619
and from now on I'm going to do it first. That

00:29:04.619 --> 00:29:06.839
was your first turn. I'm going to use my bonus

00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:08.660
action to cast Bardic Inspiration on Sebulon.

00:29:09.079 --> 00:29:12.500
Oh, there you go. Lesson learned. Okay. Welcome

00:29:12.500 --> 00:29:15.759
to playing a bard. Lesson learned. God damn it.

00:29:16.059 --> 00:29:19.740
Sebulon, what light hits him now from the loot?

00:29:20.339 --> 00:29:22.599
Is that familiar blue? I imagine it's sort of

00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:24.869
like a courage. It's always the blue. Hell yeah.

00:29:25.910 --> 00:29:29.410
Shines on you, Zebulon. You feel this. Maybe

00:29:29.410 --> 00:29:31.410
that same tingling fear was entering you as you

00:29:31.410 --> 00:29:33.509
took this heavy damage. You fell to the ground.

00:29:34.009 --> 00:29:37.190
But Jules has got your back. You're feeling a

00:29:37.190 --> 00:29:40.730
little better. As this thing turns and runs away,

00:29:41.250 --> 00:29:44.250
Jean Franklin steps up beside you. Spear at the

00:29:44.250 --> 00:29:46.130
ready. It's his turn. What do you want to do?

00:29:47.130 --> 00:29:50.259
Jean's just going to take a spear attack. At

00:29:50.259 --> 00:29:52.440
the coyote that's directly in front of him. Just

00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:53.900
saying, it might be evil. I want to do that one

00:29:53.900 --> 00:29:56.880
thing again. Yeah, I've learned my lesson. It's

00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:59.099
time to rebuke this evil beast. Thanks, bud.

00:29:59.220 --> 00:30:02.079
Thanks. I appreciate the opportunity to learn.

00:30:03.579 --> 00:30:08.859
But go fuck yourself. That's just another ten.

00:30:09.140 --> 00:30:11.099
That's another ten. Yeah, that's... Oh my god.

00:30:11.220 --> 00:30:13.880
You can't... These things are just weaving this

00:30:13.880 --> 00:30:16.599
way and that. They are fierce predators. These

00:30:16.599 --> 00:30:17.940
things are... Let me make this clear. These are

00:30:17.940 --> 00:30:21.140
huge. Coyotes, like... They're dire coyotes.

00:30:21.180 --> 00:30:22.900
They're dire coyotes, yeah. They are the size

00:30:22.900 --> 00:30:27.559
of a horse. Things are massive. Yeah, you cannot

00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:30.200
land that attack. Anything else you want to do,

00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:34.099
Jean Franklin? No, nothing useful Jean can do.

00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:36.779
No bonus actions or anything. All right. Then

00:30:36.779 --> 00:30:39.559
the coyote that was battling him is going to

00:30:39.559 --> 00:30:42.420
go. Now, there's a turtle standing in front of

00:30:42.420 --> 00:30:45.400
me that I just missed. And there's a blood...

00:30:45.810 --> 00:30:48.329
Covered half -dragon lying on the ground prone.

00:30:49.289 --> 00:30:52.069
I think I know who I want to hit. So that just

00:30:52.069 --> 00:30:55.289
gives you advantage? Yep. Okay. Cool. Great.

00:30:55.369 --> 00:31:02.250
Striking at Zebulon. It's going to hit. I'm sure

00:31:02.250 --> 00:31:05.309
you're right, but just so you know, he's AC 17

00:31:05.309 --> 00:31:08.069
now because he's got his swords out. 21. Okay.

00:31:08.390 --> 00:31:10.470
I figured if you said it was a hit, it was a

00:31:10.470 --> 00:31:13.109
hit. I want to give you the option because you

00:31:13.109 --> 00:31:14.529
left it open. I know you're forgetting. I know

00:31:14.529 --> 00:31:16.470
you want to do this. I just remembered that,

00:31:16.509 --> 00:31:17.670
and I want to give you the option if you want

00:31:17.670 --> 00:31:19.970
to use it. Yeah, I specifically said I was saving

00:31:19.970 --> 00:31:21.670
his reaction. That's why. I normally wouldn't

00:31:21.670 --> 00:31:23.410
do it, but you specifically saved it, and I was

00:31:23.410 --> 00:31:25.970
like, you're going to feel like a real sad person.

00:31:26.910 --> 00:31:29.349
I'll let you do this. Jean Franklin's going to

00:31:29.349 --> 00:31:34.369
use his reaction here. That's right. Okay, yeah.

00:31:34.809 --> 00:31:38.779
Which is called Noble Sacrifice. Yes, yes. Probably

00:31:38.779 --> 00:31:41.019
the coolest thing that this class has. Yeah,

00:31:41.059 --> 00:31:43.539
what is this? When a creature Jean Franklin can

00:31:43.539 --> 00:31:45.980
see targets an ally within five feet of him with

00:31:45.980 --> 00:31:48.119
an attack, Jean Franklin can swap places with

00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:50.400
the ally and become the target of the attack

00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:53.539
instead. So clutch. As you're lying there, Jean

00:31:53.539 --> 00:31:55.799
Franklin reaches down to your prone form and

00:31:55.799 --> 00:31:58.839
rips you away from this maw as he tumbles into

00:31:58.839 --> 00:32:02.039
the way himself. But that is a 21 against Jean

00:32:02.039 --> 00:32:03.859
Franklin. I believe that's still going to hit

00:32:03.859 --> 00:32:06.740
him. Yeah, that hits Jean. Okay, he takes the

00:32:06.740 --> 00:32:11.140
attack for you. And that's going to be 12 points

00:32:11.140 --> 00:32:14.299
of damage. Oh, man. That's half of Jaune's HP.

00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:17.200
And another strength save. I'll do the strength

00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:22.339
save. That's just a 10 for the strength save.

00:32:22.740 --> 00:32:25.579
Jaune Franklin goes prone. He's off his footing.

00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:27.460
He moved to save you, but it kind of put him

00:32:27.460 --> 00:32:30.400
out in the open. He gets struck. This thing ripes

00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:33.019
down his shoulder, and he goes falling down beneath

00:32:33.019 --> 00:32:35.740
it. The tables have turned. You've just seen

00:32:35.740 --> 00:32:40.359
your total ally. Take a blow for you. They've

00:32:40.359 --> 00:32:44.400
turned and then turned again. Zebulon! Save me!

00:32:46.339 --> 00:32:48.240
Hold on, John. I'm not done yet. Hold on, John.

00:32:48.660 --> 00:32:50.720
And if you're not done yet, let's see what you

00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:52.759
got, because it's your turn, Zebulon. All right.

00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:55.259
Zebulon's going to use, correct me if I'm wrong,

00:32:55.339 --> 00:32:57.259
half his movement to stand up. It's half your

00:32:57.259 --> 00:33:02.000
movement, yes. Then going to go in for a strike

00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:06.579
with his sword. Damn, wow, that's a hard miss.

00:33:07.019 --> 00:33:10.039
Oh, man. Bonus action, go for two -weapon fighting.

00:33:10.359 --> 00:33:12.420
Don't forget your body conspiration dies well.

00:33:12.460 --> 00:33:14.079
Yeah, but that wasn't even close. I know, I'm

00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:20.339
just reminding you. Damn, that's such a tweener.

00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:24.339
Got that mote of gold around you. I know. If

00:33:24.339 --> 00:33:26.279
you land it with an attack, you get extra damage,

00:33:26.359 --> 00:33:29.160
too. I'll let the listeners know that I rolled

00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:32.200
a 10. That's a plus 5. That's a 15. and I'm trying

00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:36.099
to decide if I should use... I mean, 15 is like...

00:33:36.099 --> 00:33:39.180
I'm going to stick with 15. Chester hit on a

00:33:39.180 --> 00:33:42.259
15. Oh, okay. Chester hit on a 15. Okay, I'll

00:33:42.259 --> 00:33:44.519
stick with 15. That's what I was leaning towards

00:33:44.519 --> 00:33:47.160
anyways, but I'm going to stick with 15. That

00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:50.559
does hit. Okay, great. So, hold on. Let me see

00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:55.160
the map here real fast. Okay, so I'm within five

00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:58.079
feet of an ally, so I get my sneak attack damage.

00:33:58.509 --> 00:34:01.170
Oh, yes, you do. Nice. You may be prone, but

00:34:01.170 --> 00:34:02.569
he's still giving you... He's, like, distracting.

00:34:02.730 --> 00:34:05.269
He's like, hey, you furry beast! Look at me!

00:34:05.470 --> 00:34:08.170
Look at me! How dare you turn away from Jean

00:34:08.170 --> 00:34:11.329
-Francois Montelio! Heir of the Golden Bay! Is

00:34:11.329 --> 00:34:13.309
he, like, on his back? Yes, he's on his back.

00:34:13.389 --> 00:34:16.210
He's just on his back, just waving his spear

00:34:16.210 --> 00:34:19.510
out. This thing looks at it for a second, and

00:34:19.510 --> 00:34:23.550
you see an opening, Zeb. All right, so... That's

00:34:23.550 --> 00:34:32.059
2d6 plus a d8 plus 3. That's 16. 16 points of

00:34:32.059 --> 00:34:36.360
damage. Holy shit. God. Yeah, you rake into this

00:34:36.360 --> 00:34:41.019
thing and it screams out. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's

00:34:41.019 --> 00:34:43.719
all Zebulon's got. That's the end of his turn.

00:34:43.940 --> 00:34:49.079
Okay. The Dire Cody that is now 30 feet away

00:34:49.079 --> 00:34:51.820
running back just stomps on its heels as its

00:34:51.820 --> 00:34:57.369
fog disperses. Its spell ends. In a rage, it

00:34:57.369 --> 00:35:01.389
whirls around and panting. Charges back down

00:35:01.389 --> 00:35:04.989
with just enough range to reach Jules. Oh, no.

00:35:05.389 --> 00:35:06.989
It's going for the backline. Oh, my God. This

00:35:06.989 --> 00:35:09.750
thing slides up in front of you, Jules, and it

00:35:09.750 --> 00:35:15.730
goes for a pouncing bite with a 19 to hit. You're

00:35:15.730 --> 00:35:18.590
fucking kidding me. I'm on rocks tonight. I'm

00:35:18.590 --> 00:35:21.110
going to need to borrow that die. And my damage

00:35:21.110 --> 00:35:24.510
numbers have been fantastic. Oh, no. That is...

00:35:24.510 --> 00:35:28.090
We all know Jules only has 14 HP. Holy shit.

00:35:28.730 --> 00:35:31.730
He does only have 14 HP. And I just did. Don't

00:35:31.730 --> 00:35:33.670
fucking tell me I'm unconscious again. 13 points

00:35:33.670 --> 00:35:37.349
of damage. Oh my god. What the fuck? That was

00:35:37.349 --> 00:35:42.650
a 10 plus 3 on that. Yeah. Holy shit. Holy shit.

00:35:43.449 --> 00:35:45.309
You guys done some damage. This thing rips into

00:35:45.309 --> 00:35:48.130
you. And I need, I'm sorry to say it, a strength

00:35:48.130 --> 00:35:51.199
save. Once again this thing is these things are

00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:53.880
huge you're being tackled and bit by this horse

00:35:53.880 --> 00:36:01.019
-sized coyote No, you are prone you go drop that

00:36:01.019 --> 00:36:05.239
just as just like pissed Jules you drop down

00:36:05.239 --> 00:36:11.300
below this thing That's all I can do though Nevermind

00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:21.699
No, no, that's gold That is beautiful. All right.

00:36:21.820 --> 00:36:25.059
Great. My turn again. No, wait. Never mind. It's

00:36:25.059 --> 00:36:26.980
Chester's turn. Jesus. Oh, thank God. Fuck off.

00:36:28.460 --> 00:36:30.340
Well, Chester's going for that one. Okay. Come

00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:33.039
on, Chester. Big hit. Big hit. With his short

00:36:33.039 --> 00:36:36.440
bow. This is the one you are doing a lot of damage

00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:41.639
to. Holy crit. There's just crit rolling down

00:36:41.639 --> 00:36:45.440
Chester's pant leg. Natural one. How is this

00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:48.929
going this badly? Okay, here's what I'll say.

00:36:49.070 --> 00:36:50.969
Well, because dire coyotes. Here's what I'll

00:36:50.969 --> 00:36:53.630
say. A dire coyote is attacking the one in the

00:36:53.630 --> 00:36:56.070
front. Or attacking the horse in the front. The

00:36:56.070 --> 00:36:57.949
horse behind it. They're both tethered. They're...

00:36:57.949 --> 00:37:00.250
And they're kicking back. And the one in the

00:37:00.250 --> 00:37:04.329
back kicks at the wagon. Which... Wham! Snacks

00:37:04.329 --> 00:37:06.230
into Chester. I need a strength save from Chester.

00:37:06.650 --> 00:37:09.679
Oh, okay. They're tethered. No, no, yeah, yeah,

00:37:09.739 --> 00:37:11.420
no, no, no. I would. I would love to trample

00:37:11.420 --> 00:37:12.739
Chester. But, like, it's going to be really weird

00:37:12.739 --> 00:37:13.940
to be like, they break their tether and happen

00:37:13.940 --> 00:37:15.320
to run all the way around the wagon in a circle,

00:37:15.340 --> 00:37:17.320
hit Chester, and leave. No, man, that's horses.

00:37:17.539 --> 00:37:20.420
Horse kicks wagon, wagon kicks Chester. 18. Holy

00:37:20.420 --> 00:37:23.340
shit! Chester, literally, this thing comes to

00:37:23.340 --> 00:37:27.639
hit, and he just, like, steals himself, like,

00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:31.090
legs grinding into the mud. But he holds his

00:37:31.090 --> 00:37:34.389
ground, still having his bow held, still at the

00:37:34.389 --> 00:37:36.210
ready. And you see that same fire, that same

00:37:36.210 --> 00:37:39.050
dark determination lighting in his eyes. Wait,

00:37:39.050 --> 00:37:42.329
so... He does not go down. Right, but quick question.

00:37:42.730 --> 00:37:46.329
Yeah. He didn't use his quick reload. Would that

00:37:46.329 --> 00:37:48.710
still have counted with the natural one on the

00:37:48.710 --> 00:37:50.650
first one? He wouldn't, unless he attacked the

00:37:50.650 --> 00:37:52.250
guys that are farther away, he wouldn't be able

00:37:52.250 --> 00:37:54.130
to use quick reload. So he attacked the one that

00:37:54.130 --> 00:37:56.489
was attacking you, right? That wasn't an attack,

00:37:56.510 --> 00:38:00.679
right? They'd be within five feet of an out of

00:38:00.679 --> 00:38:02.800
it the enemies need to be next to each other

00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:04.960
and you can shoot to their right That's yeah,

00:38:05.019 --> 00:38:07.340
that's right. So it's basically like he can aim,

00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:10.699
but you know it takes time. Yeah great So he

00:38:10.699 --> 00:38:13.099
goes over the top Jules is down these things

00:38:13.099 --> 00:38:15.659
ma Chester managed to hold himself looking strong

00:38:15.659 --> 00:38:19.360
This me dire wolf number three who's enjoying

00:38:19.360 --> 00:38:22.639
a tasty horse, and I'll keep on doing that For

00:38:22.639 --> 00:38:28.210
now till his horse is gone Finally rolled a bad

00:38:28.210 --> 00:38:31.469
damage roll on a horse. Go figure, huh? Yeah,

00:38:31.510 --> 00:38:33.570
excellent. This horse actually is still up, despite

00:38:33.570 --> 00:38:35.809
the fact that it defies logic for it to be. It

00:38:35.809 --> 00:38:37.550
just rips into the thing, and the horse is still

00:38:37.550 --> 00:38:43.329
like neighing. It's not good. But it gives you

00:38:43.329 --> 00:38:45.489
guys a little more time before this one enters

00:38:45.489 --> 00:38:48.130
the fray. And Jules, that's you beneath this

00:38:48.130 --> 00:38:51.929
thing. Please do something crazy. Can I reach

00:38:51.929 --> 00:38:55.050
out while I'm prone and grab this thing's ankle?

00:38:55.599 --> 00:38:57.119
the only thing that's going to happen is you

00:38:57.119 --> 00:38:59.820
have a disadvantage on attack rolls. So if you

00:38:59.820 --> 00:39:02.059
do a spell that causes me to have a save, it

00:39:02.059 --> 00:39:03.940
goes normally. If you do a spell that's a spell

00:39:03.940 --> 00:39:07.480
attack, that would basically mean that you'd

00:39:07.480 --> 00:39:09.480
have to roll a disadvantage. So I'll tell you

00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:12.239
that. Well, then I'm just going to stand up and

00:39:12.239 --> 00:39:15.719
do a normal. How dare you. That makes sense.

00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:18.239
Yeah, I was thinking more it was going to be

00:39:18.239 --> 00:39:21.179
the opposite, like I'd have advantage. That makes

00:39:21.179 --> 00:39:23.659
sense, I guess. So I'm going to stand up and

00:39:23.659 --> 00:39:27.190
inflict wounds. Oh, my God. Reaching out with

00:39:27.190 --> 00:39:34.050
that same hand. I love this. Waiting. Impatiently

00:39:34.050 --> 00:39:36.289
waiting. No, this is not an efficient use of

00:39:36.289 --> 00:39:40.570
Bardic Inspiration. Or a good use. No. You don't

00:39:40.570 --> 00:39:43.710
think so? No. Okay. No. So I'm just going to

00:39:43.710 --> 00:39:46.409
go for regular Inflict Wounds. Okay. You reach

00:39:46.409 --> 00:39:48.750
out at this thing. It's been hard, this fight.

00:39:48.809 --> 00:39:50.570
This thing's kind of out of nowhere. The rattle

00:39:50.570 --> 00:39:53.130
is just infecting you with its lingering dread.

00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:58.559
Seven on the die. What's the plus? Nothing. Oh.

00:39:59.300 --> 00:40:03.400
Oh. Wait. No. I didn't even notice. Thank you,

00:40:03.420 --> 00:40:06.780
Steven. I got you, buddy. I still highly doubt

00:40:06.780 --> 00:40:11.880
it's a hit. Twelve. Twelve does not quite land

00:40:11.880 --> 00:40:14.219
on this thing. It's got to be thirteen. You reach

00:40:14.219 --> 00:40:17.219
out, grazing its fur, this thing ducks under

00:40:17.219 --> 00:40:20.400
your hand, brimming with this magic power. And

00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:23.840
it feels strange in your hand now, Jules, that

00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:29.639
same hand pulsating with power. You feel whispers

00:40:29.639 --> 00:40:33.099
entering your mind, familiar whispers, dark whispers.

00:40:33.159 --> 00:40:35.739
There's no time for that now, Jules, because

00:40:35.739 --> 00:40:38.500
you're getting eaten. First things first. No,

00:40:38.519 --> 00:40:40.159
first things first. There's still time for me

00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:43.519
to cast Bardic Inspiration on Chester. All right,

00:40:43.539 --> 00:40:46.119
yeah, so you turn around. You're a loot. Blast

00:40:46.119 --> 00:40:48.219
Chester, who's still standing tall, standing

00:40:48.219 --> 00:40:53.659
cool. Bow out. John Franklin, you're up. Okay.

00:40:55.219 --> 00:40:59.539
John Franklin is going to use half his movement

00:40:59.539 --> 00:41:05.019
speed to stand up, cast Lay on Hands. All right.

00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:08.980
Yeah, let me check his pull real fast. He had

00:41:08.980 --> 00:41:11.980
a long rest, so he's currently 15. Okay, so.

00:41:13.889 --> 00:41:16.829
He'll top Zebulon off. That was what, 12 damage?

00:41:17.289 --> 00:41:19.550
I think it was 12. That'll bring Zebulon back

00:41:19.550 --> 00:41:23.369
to 21. He's got three more left in his pool of

00:41:23.369 --> 00:41:27.929
healing before he is out. And then with the rest

00:41:27.929 --> 00:41:32.150
of his movement, he's going to move 15 feet to

00:41:32.150 --> 00:41:35.489
the right so that he's standing next to Jules.

00:41:35.610 --> 00:41:37.349
Heading to the back of the wagon, leaving Zeb

00:41:37.349 --> 00:41:39.969
surrounded by two dire coyotes to back Jules

00:41:39.969 --> 00:41:44.400
up. Holy shit. How does this go exactly? Like,

00:41:44.420 --> 00:41:46.820
Jaune's staring down at you. I need you, Zebulon,

00:41:46.880 --> 00:41:50.260
to make that command to him. Jaune! Zeb's standing

00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:53.340
there. He's, you know, he's pretty weak. He's

00:41:53.340 --> 00:41:55.420
down more than half his HP. He grabs you and

00:41:55.420 --> 00:41:59.639
heals you. Feel better. That's okay. I'm doing

00:41:59.639 --> 00:42:03.840
all right. Please, Jaune, go help Jules. He looks

00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:07.440
over at Jules, looks back at you. Damn it! Fine!

00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:10.699
Don't you die! and he just turns and runs to

00:42:10.699 --> 00:42:13.619
the back of the wagon, slides beside Jules, spear

00:42:13.619 --> 00:42:17.059
twirling. All right, then. And that's going to

00:42:17.059 --> 00:42:22.059
be DireCoyote1 staring you down, Zebulon, growling,

00:42:22.099 --> 00:42:25.400
then pouncing, and then biting down. But you

00:42:25.400 --> 00:42:27.780
are not within five feet of any of his allies

00:42:27.780 --> 00:42:31.280
now. He does not get advantage, and he misses.

00:42:31.900 --> 00:42:36.070
I mean, what about the one... Oh, yeah, okay.

00:42:36.150 --> 00:42:37.610
There's a five -foot square between. He can't

00:42:37.610 --> 00:42:38.989
get in there. Yep, there's a five -foot square

00:42:38.989 --> 00:42:41.210
between. I will say he does move to the side.

00:42:41.289 --> 00:42:42.449
I think he's aware enough to know that he needs

00:42:42.449 --> 00:42:44.510
backup, so he misses you and then sort of slides

00:42:44.510 --> 00:42:47.070
to the side to create an opening for his ally

00:42:47.070 --> 00:42:48.750
to come in once he's finished with that tasty

00:42:48.750 --> 00:42:50.969
morsel of a horse. It's a very smart dire horse.

00:42:51.050 --> 00:42:53.150
Tasty horse. Dire coyote. There is a second horse

00:42:53.150 --> 00:42:55.969
there, too. Of a morse. There is a second horse.

00:42:55.989 --> 00:42:57.929
Maybe he's sick of horse. Just saying. Maybe

00:42:57.929 --> 00:43:00.150
he wants something reptilian. Something with

00:43:00.150 --> 00:43:05.849
a little crunch. Some little crunch. But yeah,

00:43:05.889 --> 00:43:09.949
he misses. Zebulon, you parry his teeth. And

00:43:09.949 --> 00:43:13.829
that's going to be you. All right. Yeah, Zebulon's

00:43:13.829 --> 00:43:16.929
going to use his rakish audacity to, if he hits,

00:43:17.030 --> 00:43:20.610
get sneak attack damage. What does it look like?

00:43:20.610 --> 00:43:25.389
What's rakish audacity look like? So he's staring

00:43:25.389 --> 00:43:29.789
this dire card down, mano a mano. And without

00:43:29.789 --> 00:43:32.849
somebody to his side, he's just got a little

00:43:32.849 --> 00:43:36.840
bit more room. to spread his elbows, to spread

00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:41.960
his swords out. Now he has full range of motion.

00:43:42.659 --> 00:43:44.920
No one's in his way. He doesn't have to worry

00:43:44.920 --> 00:43:47.760
about any of his friends. Holy shit. Remove the

00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:50.699
limiter. Let's see what Zeb can really do. Good

00:43:50.699 --> 00:43:53.360
thing I have advantage, because that was a one.

00:43:54.940 --> 00:43:56.960
That's not much better. Why is the dice jail

00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:59.739
so empty? Yeah, that's a really good idea. I'm

00:43:59.739 --> 00:44:02.940
waiting to put mine in there until my turn. Okay.

00:44:04.250 --> 00:44:08.889
Yeah, and I can't even use my Bardic Inspiration.

00:44:08.889 --> 00:44:11.630
It was just such a low roll. And I've used my

00:44:11.630 --> 00:44:16.369
bonus action. That's it. That's it for Zeb. You

00:44:16.369 --> 00:44:21.750
can still move, can't you? Yes, I could, but

00:44:21.750 --> 00:44:25.010
I have nowhere to really go. I'm just throwing

00:44:25.010 --> 00:44:28.110
that out there. Yeah, that's not even a terrible

00:44:28.110 --> 00:44:31.679
idea. Let me do a pinch of reading here. Okay,

00:44:31.719 --> 00:44:35.139
sure. Yeah. Because of fancy footwork, it doesn't

00:44:35.139 --> 00:44:37.239
say I have to land an attack. It just says if

00:44:37.239 --> 00:44:39.840
I make an attack against an opponent, that opponent

00:44:39.840 --> 00:44:43.880
can't take AOs against me. What? Nice. So Zeb

00:44:43.880 --> 00:44:47.300
is going to slip slide over all the way next

00:44:47.300 --> 00:44:49.920
to Jaune. Holy shit. All gathering up on the

00:44:49.920 --> 00:44:54.579
second coyote. Damn. Okay. Oh, yeah. So everyone's

00:44:54.579 --> 00:44:58.719
on one now. You got this one looming over between

00:44:58.719 --> 00:45:01.409
like... Jules, Jean, and Zebulon with Chester

00:45:01.409 --> 00:45:04.389
just behind Jean's back. Bowe still out. Mode

00:45:04.389 --> 00:45:06.489
of golden light around him from that Bardic Inspiration.

00:45:07.369 --> 00:45:10.909
This is cool as hell. And you know what? It's

00:45:10.909 --> 00:45:13.809
that coyote's turn. And I now have three potential

00:45:13.809 --> 00:45:16.650
targets to go for. So, hey, you know what? One,

00:45:16.690 --> 00:45:18.289
two, three, four, five, six. Five, six is Jean

00:45:18.289 --> 00:45:20.809
Franklin. You're doing a lot of pointing. Doesn't

00:45:20.809 --> 00:45:24.809
work great for audio. Yeah. They can guess. One,

00:45:24.829 --> 00:45:26.690
two, Jean Franklin. No. Yeah. One, two, Jean

00:45:26.690 --> 00:45:31.400
Franklin. 1, 2, Jean Franklin, 2, 3, 4, Debulon,

00:45:31.420 --> 00:45:33.539
5, 6, Jules. This is all staying in. I don't

00:45:33.539 --> 00:45:38.059
give a shit. I'm attacking everyone. Who is 2

00:45:38.059 --> 00:45:41.380
again? Jean Franklin. All right. Fuck that guy.

00:45:42.340 --> 00:45:45.500
No. No, I didn't hit him. Yeah. It's a 14. Yeah,

00:45:45.559 --> 00:45:47.639
no, he's got a 19 AC. Well, I chose the wrong.

00:45:47.860 --> 00:45:51.069
Damn it, die. You didn't choose anything. And

00:45:51.069 --> 00:45:53.090
he just goes up by each other and takes a spear

00:45:53.090 --> 00:45:55.909
out. Just a whole cool spear in the mouth trick.

00:45:55.989 --> 00:45:58.389
You know, like the shaft of the spear. Kind of

00:45:58.389 --> 00:46:00.469
holding this thing at bay. It's cool as hell.

00:46:00.550 --> 00:46:03.309
It looks awesome. And I hate it. Chester, you're

00:46:03.309 --> 00:46:07.110
up. If Chester were to pull up to the right side

00:46:07.110 --> 00:46:11.269
of the direwolf, would he have flanking? He'd

00:46:11.269 --> 00:46:13.590
need to get full on behind it. I don't like that.

00:46:14.429 --> 00:46:16.969
Shit. So he'd need to separate from all of you

00:46:16.969 --> 00:46:18.789
to get that plus two flanking bonus. Okay, he's

00:46:18.789 --> 00:46:21.420
just going to go up to the side of Jules. Okay.

00:46:21.420 --> 00:46:23.900
So still about 5 feet, 10 feet away from the

00:46:23.900 --> 00:46:25.320
dire wolf. We'll get a little gap between him

00:46:25.320 --> 00:46:27.579
and the creature. And he's going with a short

00:46:27.579 --> 00:46:30.679
bow. Okay. Actually, first off, this D20 that

00:46:30.679 --> 00:46:33.119
I've been using is going in dice jail. That sounds

00:46:33.119 --> 00:46:36.059
fair. Should I use the chonky? Yeah, man, we

00:46:36.059 --> 00:46:38.599
got a couple chonkers. That chonky's looking...

00:46:38.599 --> 00:46:41.519
Chonk it up. Looking beautiful. You guys deserve

00:46:41.519 --> 00:46:44.800
a crit. Oh, dude, Chester almost gets bowled

00:46:44.800 --> 00:46:46.820
over by the wagon. He's like, nope, and just

00:46:46.820 --> 00:46:49.320
walks away from it like... I'm getting some space.

00:46:50.960 --> 00:46:53.300
Like, I feel like I could probably drop this

00:46:53.300 --> 00:46:56.920
thing. I hope so. Potentially if I use my Bardic

00:46:56.920 --> 00:46:59.360
Inspiration on this attack roll, which would

00:46:59.360 --> 00:47:02.860
also mean that you would have to make a con save

00:47:02.860 --> 00:47:07.219
as well. Interesting. All right. Not yet. I'll

00:47:07.219 --> 00:47:09.920
play that little game. So I'm going to roll this.

00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:13.019
Okay. And I can choose to use my Bardic Inspiration

00:47:13.019 --> 00:47:14.820
die after I roll this, correct? Yes, before I

00:47:14.820 --> 00:47:16.840
tell you if it hits or misses. Okay. So I will

00:47:16.840 --> 00:47:23.860
hold my tongue. Let's go. How? How can you roll

00:47:23.860 --> 00:47:27.420
so many crit fails? Another crit fail? Is that

00:47:27.420 --> 00:47:31.219
the third tonight? Yeah, at this point, Body

00:47:31.219 --> 00:47:32.840
Conspiration wouldn't matter on that. How is

00:47:32.840 --> 00:47:35.579
it possible? Would it still make a difference?

00:47:36.039 --> 00:47:40.059
I mean, it wouldn't cause a hit, but would the

00:47:40.059 --> 00:47:42.539
effect still happen? And that one's a nat one.

00:47:42.699 --> 00:47:46.469
Yeah. Nat one. Okay. A couple things happen with

00:47:46.469 --> 00:47:49.710
that Nat 1. Of course a couple things do. The

00:47:49.710 --> 00:47:52.190
horse in the front that's being attacked breaks

00:47:52.190 --> 00:47:55.250
free of its reins as they've been gnawed at by

00:47:55.250 --> 00:47:57.550
this Dire Coyote that's on top of it and begins

00:47:57.550 --> 00:47:59.829
to move away. Here's what's going to happen.

00:48:00.429 --> 00:48:02.329
It is going to try to move as fast as it can

00:48:02.329 --> 00:48:04.829
away. It's not smart enough to disengage. It

00:48:04.829 --> 00:48:06.630
is going to run right through Chester's space

00:48:06.630 --> 00:48:12.250
if the Dire Coyote does not kill it with an AoO.

00:48:13.010 --> 00:48:16.299
That's what's going to happen. That's... Somehow

00:48:16.299 --> 00:48:19.619
twisted and fair. I hate it, but I fucking love

00:48:19.619 --> 00:48:22.260
it. I'm going to tell you right now what I need

00:48:22.260 --> 00:48:25.900
here. Let me go down. I need to get over a five.

00:48:26.380 --> 00:48:28.920
This battle is so back and forth and back and

00:48:28.920 --> 00:48:32.539
forth. Over a five on a D20 roll? It's a good

00:48:32.539 --> 00:48:33.860
chance I'm going to kill it. Yeah, sure. Yeah,

00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:38.269
that's great. Is that a six? Holy shit. Yeah,

00:48:38.349 --> 00:48:40.230
it's six. Which means I just barely made it.

00:48:40.309 --> 00:48:42.230
That's a good thing for you. Yeah, right. Because

00:48:42.230 --> 00:48:44.889
this horse goes away, and Diacoady gets his A

00:48:44.889 --> 00:48:47.269
.O .O., and as this thing is moving, preparing

00:48:47.269 --> 00:48:51.150
to trample right through Chester's space, throat

00:48:51.150 --> 00:48:56.969
taken out in those dagger -like teeth. And the

00:48:56.969 --> 00:49:00.250
first horse drops. Which Diacoady is this? That

00:49:00.250 --> 00:49:02.989
is the farthest one away. So basically, it was

00:49:02.989 --> 00:49:05.150
working on this horse. It's dropped its prey

00:49:05.150 --> 00:49:07.269
now. Which means it can now move on to other

00:49:07.269 --> 00:49:10.449
prey. Like that second horse. So the worst part

00:49:10.449 --> 00:49:13.849
of that fumble didn't happen. But this guy is

00:49:13.849 --> 00:49:17.130
now potentially in the fight. And that was only

00:49:17.130 --> 00:49:19.849
his A -O -O. Chester has the rest of his turn.

00:49:19.969 --> 00:49:21.349
Does anything else you want to do? There's nothing

00:49:21.349 --> 00:49:24.590
I can do. Then it's going to be that Dire Coyote's

00:49:24.590 --> 00:49:29.210
turn. So this guy leaps over the prone form of

00:49:29.210 --> 00:49:31.750
the dead horse and begins to work around the

00:49:31.750 --> 00:49:35.019
wagon. Behind your group. He cannot make it with

00:49:35.019 --> 00:49:37.199
his full movement speed. I have to move twice

00:49:37.199 --> 00:49:40.380
to get up behind you. But suddenly behind Jules

00:49:40.380 --> 00:49:42.800
and John Franklin, this coyote slides up there.

00:49:44.559 --> 00:49:48.820
But he cannot attack yet. That's Jules. Kill

00:49:48.820 --> 00:49:51.840
something. They're closing in on you. Hungry

00:49:51.840 --> 00:49:56.420
eyes surrounding you. Death in the very air here

00:49:56.420 --> 00:50:00.199
in the rattle. Jules. Jules. They're behind us.

00:50:00.300 --> 00:50:03.710
And in front of us. And Jules to the side of

00:50:03.710 --> 00:50:07.329
us. Yeah, we know, Zeb. We know. Jules is going

00:50:07.329 --> 00:50:11.150
to cast invisibility on himself. Oh, that's a

00:50:11.150 --> 00:50:14.309
good one. Okay. All right. All right. We're thinking

00:50:14.309 --> 00:50:16.070
outside the box. Oh, man. I like that a lot.

00:50:16.110 --> 00:50:17.630
Spend a little bit. Yeah. Spend a little bit.

00:50:17.730 --> 00:50:21.789
Yeah. Wow. And take me off the board. I'll tell

00:50:21.789 --> 00:50:24.269
you where I move. Oh, excellent. Okay. I will

00:50:24.269 --> 00:50:27.469
say the way this has to work is if you move,

00:50:27.610 --> 00:50:29.269
you'll have to use your action to hide to stay.

00:50:29.979 --> 00:50:33.440
I get to contest those checks with my sense of

00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:35.519
smell with these things. But I will tell you

00:50:35.519 --> 00:50:37.360
this. While you're invisible, any attack on you

00:50:37.360 --> 00:50:39.440
is at disadvantage, and I cannot take AOs on

00:50:39.440 --> 00:50:42.820
you. So, yeah, I will now move your character.

00:50:42.860 --> 00:50:44.440
Remember, five -foot squares. You tell me where

00:50:44.440 --> 00:50:47.239
you are when I put you back. Yep. But Jules,

00:50:47.340 --> 00:50:51.260
gone. I have moved. Hell yeah. So what do I need

00:50:51.260 --> 00:50:54.320
to roll? Are you taking the hide action? So you

00:50:54.320 --> 00:50:55.659
want to make sure you're not found, basically?

00:50:56.300 --> 00:50:57.860
And that's your action, then you can't attack.

00:50:58.219 --> 00:51:00.519
Well, that invisibility was my action. Oh, right,

00:51:00.579 --> 00:51:03.119
right. Okay. So you can move. These things might

00:51:03.119 --> 00:51:06.679
catch on to where you are, but they can smell

00:51:06.679 --> 00:51:08.820
the blood. They can see blood trail dripping

00:51:08.820 --> 00:51:10.719
behind you as you move since you can't really

00:51:10.719 --> 00:51:14.699
do the stuff to cover that up. But, I mean, you

00:51:14.699 --> 00:51:16.619
know that you're much safer now. They can't see

00:51:16.619 --> 00:51:19.559
you. It would be a lot harder to hit you. I will

00:51:19.559 --> 00:51:21.880
let you stay secret from where I am at this point

00:51:21.880 --> 00:51:24.219
in time. Okay. Unless I choose to attack you,

00:51:24.260 --> 00:51:26.150
in which case I'll ask where you are. I think

00:51:26.150 --> 00:51:28.829
it's fun. Okay. For you not to know. Yep. All

00:51:28.829 --> 00:51:31.989
right. That's John Franklin. John Franklin doesn't

00:51:31.989 --> 00:51:37.050
have a whole lot else to do aside from attack

00:51:37.050 --> 00:51:41.989
the dire coyote who is to the north of him. Okay.

00:51:42.610 --> 00:51:46.469
Rolling a different die now. Each side now. Yeah,

00:51:46.489 --> 00:51:50.610
and we're attacking north. That's just 11. How

00:51:50.610 --> 00:51:54.829
is this happening? Holy cow. Use your buttons.

00:51:55.469 --> 00:51:59.789
Goodness sake. Well, yeah, I hear you. Not on

00:51:59.789 --> 00:52:02.190
that roll, though. Oh, my gosh. You did so good

00:52:02.190 --> 00:52:03.730
at the start. These things are pretty beat up,

00:52:03.750 --> 00:52:05.369
but you haven't got a hit in in rounds. I think

00:52:05.369 --> 00:52:08.510
that's for Zeb, though. Oh, this is John. I don't

00:52:08.510 --> 00:52:13.349
know if I want to, yeah. That's all that John's

00:52:13.349 --> 00:52:17.670
got. So that's the end of John's turn. Top of

00:52:17.670 --> 00:52:20.710
the round. And this is looking real bad. These

00:52:20.710 --> 00:52:23.449
heroes need to shape up. Maybe land attack. at

00:52:23.449 --> 00:52:25.409
some point in this combat. That'd be nice. Yeah,

00:52:25.449 --> 00:52:27.369
one would be great. That'd be nice. I mean, you

00:52:27.369 --> 00:52:30.389
could also level this up to four or five. We

00:52:30.389 --> 00:52:34.769
are jokesters here on the show. So... Tungsten

00:52:34.769 --> 00:52:38.309
Ward still... Come on! Come on! Come on, horsey!

00:52:38.329 --> 00:52:40.469
Trying to get this last horse. The only one remaining

00:52:40.469 --> 00:52:42.690
to calm down as it's braying and nagging and

00:52:42.690 --> 00:52:44.570
kicking at the wagon. Things are shaking and

00:52:44.570 --> 00:52:49.050
rattling. Dire Coyote, that's sort of away from

00:52:49.050 --> 00:52:51.150
the combat, begins to move in as well. And you

00:52:51.150 --> 00:52:55.389
are now... truly surrounded. Zebulon, these two

00:52:55.389 --> 00:52:58.070
are holding in on you. I'm going to use my pack

00:52:58.070 --> 00:53:02.150
tactics to attack you with advantage. Excellent.

00:53:04.610 --> 00:53:07.110
That's actually iffy. That is only a 15 to hit.

00:53:07.170 --> 00:53:10.750
15 does not hit. Okay. Wow. Oh, my God. That

00:53:10.750 --> 00:53:13.369
did not roll well. Just tries to hit you and

00:53:13.369 --> 00:53:15.610
rakes the side of the wagon. Cloth rips as you

00:53:15.610 --> 00:53:18.889
kind of duck out of the way. Yeah. Hell yeah.

00:53:19.090 --> 00:53:20.630
And that's going to be that guy's turn. That's

00:53:20.630 --> 00:53:25.510
you, Zebulon. All right, sweet. So, David, there's

00:53:25.510 --> 00:53:30.489
a dire wolf to the left of Zebulon and a dire

00:53:30.489 --> 00:53:33.829
wolf, I guess we could say, above or to the north

00:53:33.829 --> 00:53:36.130
of Zebulon. Then you have, like, the wagon to

00:53:36.130 --> 00:53:38.429
your back, the wheel touching your tail. You

00:53:38.429 --> 00:53:41.349
have Jean Franklin just beside you. Dire wolf

00:53:41.349 --> 00:53:42.829
just south of him. Yeah, it's looking rough.

00:53:43.030 --> 00:53:48.510
So the dire wolf to Zebulon's north and to the

00:53:48.510 --> 00:53:54.000
west. Which one looks worse off? They're looking

00:53:54.000 --> 00:53:56.800
very similar. I would say the one to the north

00:53:56.800 --> 00:54:00.539
looks slightly worse. Okay. The one to the north

00:54:00.539 --> 00:54:05.980
would give me sneak attack damage. So... That's

00:54:05.980 --> 00:54:09.239
right. So I'm going to attack that one. Okay.

00:54:09.380 --> 00:54:14.610
With my sword. Okay. I'm going to use my Bardic

00:54:14.610 --> 00:54:18.909
Inspiration. Ooh, okay. So that's a 13. Let's

00:54:18.909 --> 00:54:22.210
see what I get on the d6. If you're using that

00:54:22.210 --> 00:54:25.550
on your attack roll, he has to make a con save

00:54:25.550 --> 00:54:27.650
or take thunder damage equal to that die as well.

00:54:27.769 --> 00:54:34.429
Excellent. Come on, orange die. I fucking knew

00:54:34.429 --> 00:54:36.800
it. I knew it was going to be a one. I just fucking

00:54:36.800 --> 00:54:38.880
knew it. I think that probably makes a hit, though.

00:54:38.960 --> 00:54:41.760
That's only a 14. That's a 14. Damn, that hits!

00:54:42.099 --> 00:54:46.579
Oh, yeah! Just barely hits, baby. Yeah, I now

00:54:46.579 --> 00:54:51.159
think it's 14. It is 14. DC is the 14. That was

00:54:51.159 --> 00:54:53.119
a clutchier Sabardic Inspiration. Yeah, that

00:54:53.119 --> 00:54:54.860
was great. But now you have to make a con save.

00:54:55.099 --> 00:54:57.440
Con save! Or take one thunder damage. Three on

00:54:57.440 --> 00:55:01.559
the die! Nope. Things are turning around! For

00:55:01.559 --> 00:55:03.579
our heroes. Slowly but surely. I'm a little excited.

00:55:03.719 --> 00:55:05.659
I'm excited for this. I was getting scared. What's

00:55:05.659 --> 00:55:07.579
your damage, Zebulon? I like this story. I don't

00:55:07.579 --> 00:55:10.699
want to end it. Gosh. With sneak attack, that's

00:55:10.699 --> 00:55:14.320
2d6 plus 1d8 plus 3. Again. Give me that damage.

00:55:14.860 --> 00:55:19.179
Where's the d8? I got one. Ooh, that sounds nice.

00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:25.099
That sounds nice. That's 14. 14 points of damage.

00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:27.099
Fingers crossed, fingers crossed, fingers crossed.

00:55:27.960 --> 00:55:33.539
By the book. This thing looks almost dead. And

00:55:33.539 --> 00:55:39.159
you see it actually begin to turn to run away.

00:55:39.519 --> 00:55:41.940
What? By the book. I'm going by the book for

00:55:41.940 --> 00:55:45.340
this one. What? That's what I'll say. Huh. There's

00:55:45.340 --> 00:55:49.159
got to be a threshold. Yeah. Are you saying it's

00:55:49.159 --> 00:55:51.340
moving away? Like, are we talking about taking

00:55:51.340 --> 00:55:54.800
reactions now? It's not using a reaction. But

00:55:54.800 --> 00:55:57.639
you get the impression it might be. Like, it's

00:55:57.639 --> 00:56:01.099
mouth closed, whimpers and screams. And you can

00:56:01.099 --> 00:56:03.380
see his paws scrambling up the dirt like it's

00:56:03.380 --> 00:56:06.760
trying to pull away from you. Like you are more

00:56:06.760 --> 00:56:09.019
than it bargained for when it came in for this

00:56:09.019 --> 00:56:12.519
meal. I'll tell you that. Okay. Interesting.

00:56:12.980 --> 00:56:15.320
Now it's... Oh, you know what? Now it is actually

00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:17.139
that dire wolf's turn. Are you doing anything

00:56:17.139 --> 00:56:21.059
else? Nope. I've used my bonus and that's all

00:56:21.059 --> 00:56:24.019
I can do. You may take an AOO as this dire wolf

00:56:24.019 --> 00:56:28.889
turns to run away. Okay. I'm going to... Do him

00:56:28.889 --> 00:56:31.090
and Jaune both get to take an AOL? They can both

00:56:31.090 --> 00:56:33.150
take one. Well, he can, yes. I'm trying to decide

00:56:33.150 --> 00:56:36.530
if Jaune should save it. No, yeah. I'm going

00:56:36.530 --> 00:56:40.010
to take both. I'm going to take Zeb's. Yeah,

00:56:40.150 --> 00:56:44.329
and we'll see what happens. No, that's only 11

00:56:44.329 --> 00:56:49.030
for Zeb. Okay. That's what Jaune gets. Yeah,

00:56:49.130 --> 00:56:51.989
that's a natural one for Jaune, so that's also

00:56:51.989 --> 00:56:55.460
a miss. I mean, can we put all of our D20s in

00:56:55.460 --> 00:56:58.179
dice trail? Like, how many natural ones is that

00:56:58.179 --> 00:57:01.119
in the last, like, two or three episodes? I don't

00:57:01.119 --> 00:57:03.119
know. I don't know. We're overdue. We're overdue

00:57:03.119 --> 00:57:05.280
for 20. Yeah. Because there's been, there's been

00:57:05.280 --> 00:57:07.820
what, four? This is absolutely fucking unreal.

00:57:07.920 --> 00:57:10.119
Tonight? Tell you what. With that natural one,

00:57:10.260 --> 00:57:13.739
tungsten wards over there, you hear a snap, snapping

00:57:13.739 --> 00:57:16.219
line as the horse is about to break free. You're

00:57:16.219 --> 00:57:18.239
one more natural one in this fight, and this

00:57:18.239 --> 00:57:20.420
horse is trampling everyone! I don't give a damn.

00:57:21.659 --> 00:57:23.179
Yeah. I think there's an argument against that,

00:57:23.239 --> 00:57:24.840
but that's okay. I don't give a shit. I'm on

00:57:24.840 --> 00:57:28.280
that side. I am on that side. Strambling someone.

00:57:29.780 --> 00:57:33.260
You hear rain snap, but this dire wolf takes

00:57:33.260 --> 00:57:36.659
off and begins to full -on sprint out of this

00:57:36.659 --> 00:57:40.679
combat. Okay. That's still a win. Yeah. That's

00:57:40.679 --> 00:57:42.780
still a win. It's still a win, but that's one

00:57:42.780 --> 00:57:44.920
out of three. There's still two more here. One

00:57:44.920 --> 00:57:46.340
of them has not been touched. That's true. This

00:57:46.340 --> 00:57:48.800
is still bad. Don't think I'm having mercy on

00:57:48.800 --> 00:57:51.119
you. I'm going by the book's balance here because

00:57:51.119 --> 00:57:53.059
I know this is fucking crazy. Oh, trust me. I

00:57:53.059 --> 00:57:55.059
know there's no mercy. I just feel like I'll

00:57:55.059 --> 00:57:56.460
be called out on some bullshit if I don't do

00:57:56.460 --> 00:57:58.679
what the book says here. What would Chandler

00:57:58.679 --> 00:58:02.920
think? What would Chandler think? It's time for

00:58:02.920 --> 00:58:06.440
these coyotes to kill you. Chester, you're up.

00:58:07.119 --> 00:58:11.320
Chester doesn't know where Jules went, so Chester's

00:58:11.320 --> 00:58:13.400
going to move a little closer and go for the

00:58:13.400 --> 00:58:17.170
dire wolf. Oh, to your south or to your west?

00:58:17.750 --> 00:58:21.909
And he's going to go with his crossbow. No, I

00:58:21.909 --> 00:58:23.909
had him where I wanted him. Oh, shoot, you removed

00:58:23.909 --> 00:58:26.150
him. I did not notice that. My bad. Nope, nope,

00:58:26.269 --> 00:58:29.269
a little more south. I want him slightly a little

00:58:29.269 --> 00:58:32.329
blocked. Where? He was right there. Okay, well,

00:58:32.349 --> 00:58:37.789
you have to be in a square. So? Fine, all right.

00:58:38.289 --> 00:58:40.110
All right, he's going to go with his crossbow

00:58:40.110 --> 00:58:43.619
to the dire wolf to the south. Alright, smart

00:58:43.619 --> 00:58:46.139
move, smart move, yeah. Oh, bow action, not crossbow.

00:58:46.980 --> 00:58:49.539
Short bow, yeah. Short bow. So you said south,

00:58:49.599 --> 00:58:51.820
but you pointed to the one to the west? What

00:58:51.820 --> 00:58:54.019
are the directions on this? I'm looking at this

00:58:54.019 --> 00:58:55.920
from a side angle. Never eat soggy wheat. Well,

00:58:56.019 --> 00:58:57.679
I'm looking at, I didn't know if, I thought this

00:58:57.679 --> 00:59:00.440
was south and that was north. No, north is up.

00:59:01.039 --> 00:59:03.239
Okay, so he's going west. The one to the west.

00:59:04.219 --> 00:59:08.710
Which way is which? Jules, help! We don't have

00:59:08.710 --> 00:59:10.309
any more good D20s. They're all in fucking jail.

00:59:10.309 --> 00:59:12.190
He shoots into the sky. Never eat soggy wheat.

00:59:12.289 --> 00:59:14.269
Never eat soggy wheat. Oh, thanks, Sam. Right.

00:59:14.349 --> 00:59:15.769
Okay, gotcha. He goes to the one on the left.

00:59:15.769 --> 00:59:18.250
To be fair, I'm looking at that screen sideways

00:59:18.250 --> 00:59:20.849
at a weird angle. I can see the screen is totally

00:59:20.849 --> 00:59:23.150
sideways, dude. Just a tablet, like, lazily thrown

00:59:23.150 --> 00:59:25.710
on the table. You guys have the worst setup.

00:59:25.710 --> 00:59:28.630
From my view, south was where I was pointing.

00:59:29.110 --> 00:59:32.050
All right, so he's going to go in with his short

00:59:32.050 --> 00:59:36.590
bow. There we go. What you get? Now we're rolling

00:59:36.590 --> 00:59:39.349
dice. 25. 25's gonna hit. Now we're rolling dice.

00:59:39.349 --> 00:59:46.349
Never eat soggy wheat, motherfucker! Boing! Holy

00:59:46.349 --> 00:59:49.809
shit. Hang on, let me double check his damage.

00:59:49.889 --> 00:59:53.769
I think it's 1d6 plus 1 or 2. Yeah, it's 1d6

00:59:53.769 --> 01:00:00.230
plus 2. Alright. Alright. 7. 7 damage. Okay.

01:00:00.889 --> 01:00:02.909
These are a little hot. Pretty good. Pretty good.

01:00:03.550 --> 01:00:05.650
Wolf's still up. He looks determined to stay

01:00:05.650 --> 01:00:09.090
right now. Feet planted as his arrow takes him

01:00:09.090 --> 01:00:12.150
in the back. He's sniffing dragon. Half dragon.

01:00:12.610 --> 01:00:16.230
He likes that smell. Bring it on. I can't go

01:00:16.230 --> 01:00:18.110
for you, Zebulon, because the wagon's sort of

01:00:18.110 --> 01:00:20.550
blocking me from this southern wolf's attacks.

01:00:21.230 --> 01:00:23.449
So I either need to break from Jaune to go for

01:00:23.449 --> 01:00:25.730
Chester or go for Jaune. He's going to stick

01:00:25.730 --> 01:00:27.550
on Jaune because that's kind of why he came up

01:00:27.550 --> 01:00:30.119
here. So yeah, we're going for Jaune. Yeah, if

01:00:30.119 --> 01:00:32.059
I can go for Chester, or Zebulon, I can get pack

01:00:32.059 --> 01:00:33.960
tactics, but I just can't justify hitting around

01:00:33.960 --> 01:00:36.079
the edge of that wagon. That'd be crazy. All

01:00:36.079 --> 01:00:40.340
right, Jaune, here we go. That is a 17 to hit?

01:00:40.460 --> 01:00:43.780
Nope. Damn it. 19 AC for Jaune. Oh, tortles.

01:00:44.059 --> 01:00:46.179
So Jaune, bing, takes it off with his shield.

01:00:47.420 --> 01:00:49.119
That's all that guy's going to do. All right,

01:00:49.139 --> 01:00:50.420
we're coming around. We're coming around. We

01:00:50.420 --> 01:00:51.900
got a chance here. You got a chance. Jules, that's

01:00:51.900 --> 01:00:53.880
you with one HP, and I don't know where you are.

01:00:56.159 --> 01:00:59.500
Invisible with one HP. Jules is going to bleed

01:00:59.500 --> 01:01:01.239
out and fall over somewhere. You're never going

01:01:01.239 --> 01:01:06.219
to find him. Okay. I did not move. Oh, shit.

01:01:06.400 --> 01:01:09.199
Instead, I turned around. So I've been invisible

01:01:09.199 --> 01:01:12.840
for a minute. Right? Right. Would I get any sort

01:01:12.840 --> 01:01:15.800
of advantage if I cast Dissonant Whispers and

01:01:15.800 --> 01:01:19.380
become un -invisible right in front of him? What's

01:01:19.380 --> 01:01:21.940
your game here? To, like, surprise it? Yeah.

01:01:22.239 --> 01:01:25.500
To kind of scare it? Yeah. At the same time that

01:01:25.500 --> 01:01:28.800
I'm casting Dysno Whispers, I appear. Okay, okay.

01:01:29.539 --> 01:01:32.780
It smells you. It does not see you. And as this

01:01:32.780 --> 01:01:35.219
fog hits them in this place known for horror,

01:01:35.320 --> 01:01:39.039
I will let you do this, but I need a performance

01:01:39.039 --> 01:01:44.019
or intimidation check. Performance. I want to

01:01:44.019 --> 01:01:47.179
see a DC 15. And if you get that, you get advantage

01:01:47.179 --> 01:01:48.760
on this because you're going to show up with

01:01:48.760 --> 01:01:50.539
such flair, you can surprise this thing. I'll

01:01:50.539 --> 01:01:52.159
allow it because I like the idea of that. Yeah,

01:01:52.159 --> 01:01:58.050
that's fun. Dirty 20. Yeah, you, whoo, suddenly

01:01:58.050 --> 01:02:00.170
out of nowhere, whoo, Jules, I mean, you just

01:02:00.170 --> 01:02:01.969
burst, you just level, invisibility spells a

01:02:01.969 --> 01:02:03.190
lot for this. Hell yeah, I'm gonna allow it.

01:02:03.289 --> 01:02:06.050
You appear in front of this thing. Wolf turns,

01:02:06.230 --> 01:02:09.829
or sorry, coyote, coy dog, big old doggo, turns

01:02:09.829 --> 01:02:18.030
its eyes. Describe this to me. The white smoke

01:02:18.030 --> 01:02:21.610
appears out of thin air. Hell yeah. And as it

01:02:21.610 --> 01:02:24.699
starts to envelop his face and his ears, my image

01:02:24.699 --> 01:02:29.820
forms. Also, how does this work with that advantage

01:02:29.820 --> 01:02:31.699
that I just rolled? Because this is a wisdom.

01:02:31.780 --> 01:02:33.139
This is a wisdom. I'm going to roll with disadvantage.

01:02:33.440 --> 01:02:36.719
Okay. Okay. You reach out with this and as you

01:02:36.719 --> 01:02:40.219
appear, as you're standing there, it's eyes linger

01:02:40.219 --> 01:02:47.099
on your hand. Let's roll quick. Okay. That is

01:02:47.099 --> 01:02:51.920
a 12. Nope. You reach out with your hand, your

01:02:51.920 --> 01:02:55.719
gloved hand. And as this covers his face, something

01:02:55.719 --> 01:02:59.019
interesting happens. This coyote sniffs at your

01:02:59.019 --> 01:03:00.820
hand. It's almost instinct. It's something you're

01:03:00.820 --> 01:03:05.019
surprised at. It sniffs out. As it sniffs, you

01:03:05.019 --> 01:03:10.320
see fear. Holy shit. Just this primal fear. Every

01:03:10.320 --> 01:03:17.079
hackle, raise, growling. As it leans back, it's

01:03:17.079 --> 01:03:19.460
going to turn around, and it's going to run from

01:03:19.460 --> 01:03:23.500
you as fast as it can. All right, good shit.

01:03:24.340 --> 01:03:26.179
I really want to figure out what the fuck is

01:03:26.179 --> 01:03:30.699
going on here. I have random ass ideas, but they're

01:03:30.699 --> 01:03:35.300
just thin air theories right now. You can take

01:03:35.300 --> 01:03:39.559
an AOO, Jules, and John Franklin. Damn straight.

01:03:40.619 --> 01:03:42.880
I think John already took his reaction. You did

01:03:42.880 --> 01:03:44.920
just now. That's right. You're right. Okay. Well,

01:03:45.059 --> 01:03:47.780
I will take one. And that's just my standard

01:03:47.780 --> 01:03:50.239
rapier, right? Standard rapier, yep. Grab it,

01:03:50.260 --> 01:03:52.880
slide it out. This thing moves. No, that's not

01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:55.559
going to do it. That's a nine. Okay. So it moves.

01:03:55.900 --> 01:03:58.000
It's full distance away as a reaction, but you

01:03:58.000 --> 01:03:59.820
got it out of there. Oh, roll damage, four distant

01:03:59.820 --> 01:04:03.260
whispers, though. Oh, that's right. Yes. I forgot.

01:04:03.519 --> 01:04:06.119
Yes. The full boy there. Thank you for picking

01:04:06.119 --> 01:04:08.139
that up, because I totally fucking forgot about

01:04:08.139 --> 01:04:10.800
that. I don't know how, but... Your hand outstretched,

01:04:10.920 --> 01:04:13.199
those, like, long nails at the end of your new

01:04:13.199 --> 01:04:16.679
necrotic fingers fitting strangely over this

01:04:16.679 --> 01:04:19.239
glove, or under this glove. And that's a fresh

01:04:19.239 --> 01:04:21.099
coyote. That one hasn't taken any damage yet.

01:04:21.099 --> 01:04:23.980
It's fresh. It's full of horse. It's only five.

01:04:24.559 --> 01:04:27.460
Five damage, hey. Not nothing. But he's got a

01:04:27.460 --> 01:04:30.079
bunch of horse in his belly, and it is not done

01:04:30.079 --> 01:04:33.260
yet. But for now, it is terrified. And that's

01:04:33.260 --> 01:04:35.599
going to be the top of the round once again.

01:04:36.639 --> 01:04:38.699
No, sorry. That's Jean -Francois first. We can

01:04:38.699 --> 01:04:41.199
skip that guy, right? Jean -Francois is going

01:04:41.199 --> 01:04:46.059
to start to step towards this coyote, and Zebulon's

01:04:46.059 --> 01:04:48.690
going to say, Jan, Jan, don't. Don't crowd me.

01:04:48.730 --> 01:04:52.050
I need some space here. And Jaune is going to

01:04:52.050 --> 01:04:55.610
step all the way up to the... Yeah, you got it.

01:04:55.889 --> 01:04:58.530
That's the spot. To the north of the coyote.

01:04:58.650 --> 01:05:00.969
He can also loop around it to give you a flanking

01:05:00.969 --> 01:05:04.489
if you want. Yeah, wow. That's very generous

01:05:04.489 --> 01:05:09.610
and smart of you, David. nods, and just runs,

01:05:09.730 --> 01:05:11.530
slides right behind it, and you guys are now

01:05:11.530 --> 01:05:13.650
surrounding this thing. Okay, excellent. The

01:05:13.650 --> 01:05:15.809
hunters become the hunted, one might say. Yeah,

01:05:15.889 --> 01:05:18.329
so now from there, he'll make his attack roll

01:05:18.329 --> 01:05:23.489
with a plus two. Okay. So that's an 18. It's

01:05:23.489 --> 01:05:26.429
gonna hit. Okay, so that's a D6 plus one. Jeremy,

01:05:26.570 --> 01:05:28.909
what's the best D6 we've got right now? Oh my

01:05:28.909 --> 01:05:31.289
god, I don't know. We have a bunch of them. How

01:05:31.289 --> 01:05:35.440
about this boy? A metal die? Alright. Clear the

01:05:35.440 --> 01:05:37.400
tray. Clear the tray. Just put them right here,

01:05:37.440 --> 01:05:38.739
though, so we don't lose them in here. Those

01:05:38.739 --> 01:05:42.320
are a little hot. That's a five plus one is six.

01:05:43.159 --> 01:05:48.940
Six damage on the coyote. Top of the round. It's

01:05:48.940 --> 01:05:52.719
that coyote's turn. He jumps behind it. He stabs

01:05:52.719 --> 01:05:55.699
into this thing deep into its gut. It screams

01:05:55.699 --> 01:05:58.860
out, stand between the two of you. And on its

01:05:58.860 --> 01:06:02.119
turn, it dashes and goes to run full on away.

01:06:02.340 --> 01:06:05.030
Okay. Great. What the fuck? You can take attacks

01:06:05.030 --> 01:06:07.750
of AoE. Yeah, now we can take two. You can take

01:06:07.750 --> 01:06:10.429
two if you want? Yeah. Okay, yeah, we're going

01:06:10.429 --> 01:06:13.429
to take two. I'll do Jaune's first with the plus

01:06:13.429 --> 01:06:15.289
three, then I'll do Zeb's with the plus five.

01:06:15.449 --> 01:06:22.050
Okay. That's just 11 for Jaune. Nope. Yep, 14

01:06:22.050 --> 01:06:26.550
for Zeb. That hits exactly. Okay, sweet. D8 plus

01:06:26.550 --> 01:06:28.090
three. Here we go. Let's see what we got. Give

01:06:28.090 --> 01:06:30.989
me that, give me that, give me that. Seven plus

01:06:30.989 --> 01:06:35.989
three. Ten. This thing dies. Excellent. What's

01:06:35.989 --> 01:06:37.610
it look like? It's trying to run away from you?

01:06:38.230 --> 01:06:43.250
Yeah, let's see. As it turns to run away, I guess

01:06:43.250 --> 01:06:49.389
Zeb kind of reaches out. Man, I don't want to

01:06:49.389 --> 01:06:53.090
be too graphic. It's kind of gross. Do it. Do

01:06:53.090 --> 01:06:56.250
it. Cuts it and dies. Cuts it and it dies. Cuts

01:06:56.250 --> 01:07:00.929
it and it drops down, blood pooling around it.

01:07:01.800 --> 01:07:03.480
And that's when you notice the collar around

01:07:03.480 --> 01:07:09.820
its neck. Yeah, okay, fuck you. Go to hell. You

01:07:09.820 --> 01:07:13.639
look over a tree and see, missing dog. Describe

01:07:13.639 --> 01:07:18.639
how you killed this puppy dog. You see a name

01:07:18.639 --> 01:07:23.699
tag. It says Fido. You're a terrible person.

01:07:23.780 --> 01:07:25.480
Okay, and that's actually going to be you now,

01:07:25.480 --> 01:07:30.500
Zebulon. So the... Coyote that ran last round?

01:07:30.619 --> 01:07:33.679
How far away is it at this point? That one is

01:07:33.679 --> 01:07:38.880
now 50 feet away from you. Okay. Zeb will drop

01:07:38.880 --> 01:07:43.579
his sabers, round the corner, and draw his bow.

01:07:43.920 --> 01:07:46.820
Okay. This one's going to the south, away from

01:07:46.820 --> 01:07:48.219
the wagon. You round this corner of the wagon.

01:07:48.280 --> 01:07:50.840
You see it in your sights. Give me an attack.

01:07:51.280 --> 01:07:54.199
Bonus action, steady aim. There you go. And make

01:07:54.199 --> 01:08:01.059
two attack rolls. No, it's not going to do it.

01:08:01.079 --> 01:08:04.800
It's a 10. Okay. 10 on that. What was really

01:08:04.800 --> 01:08:07.739
sad is that it was on 18, and then it started

01:08:07.739 --> 01:08:09.719
rolling backwards. It was a really funky roll.

01:08:09.780 --> 01:08:12.300
Yeah. I think I'm cursed. I think I need to do

01:08:12.300 --> 01:08:15.340
something. It looked like it, by force, went

01:08:15.340 --> 01:08:17.600
from the 18 and rolled to the 4. Yeah, by, like,

01:08:17.640 --> 01:08:20.939
supernatural force. Yeah. Yeah. All right, that's

01:08:20.939 --> 01:08:24.340
Chester. Thank you, spirits. Thank you, spirits.

01:08:24.840 --> 01:08:28.880
I'm going to fix that. Please do. Chester, you're

01:08:28.880 --> 01:08:32.180
up. I thought you were about to do something.

01:08:32.420 --> 01:08:37.500
Oh, no, not me personally. Chester's going to

01:08:37.500 --> 01:08:39.380
go for a short bow. Do I look like an exorcist

01:08:39.380 --> 01:08:44.319
to you? Give me that deck. Natural fucking 20.

01:08:44.439 --> 01:08:46.300
Do you really? What would you look at that? Holy

01:08:46.300 --> 01:08:50.180
shit. When we don't really need it. Oh, my God.

01:08:51.239 --> 01:08:52.600
I mean, hey, you can always use it. This thing

01:08:52.600 --> 01:08:55.220
has barely been touched. On the wounded, retreating,

01:08:55.220 --> 01:08:58.520
poor puppy dog. Yeah. How does it look when you

01:08:58.520 --> 01:09:00.319
kill this poor puppy dog? Remember, this one's

01:09:00.319 --> 01:09:01.720
only been Dissonant Whispered. It's coming back.

01:09:01.899 --> 01:09:04.220
That's true. That is true. That is very true.

01:09:04.380 --> 01:09:06.899
It's coming back. You got one hit on him, Mr.

01:09:07.039 --> 01:09:10.020
Cocky. I'm gonna wolf all over you. Hey. With

01:09:10.020 --> 01:09:11.819
a coyote. I just don't want to be the only one

01:09:11.819 --> 01:09:17.140
who kills a poor little puppy dog. That's 11

01:09:17.140 --> 01:09:21.840
points of damage. That's pretty good. Okay. Solid

01:09:21.840 --> 01:09:27.710
strike to hind this fleeing coyote. And now it's

01:09:27.710 --> 01:09:30.390
gonna be this thing's turn. It's gonna spin around.

01:09:31.069 --> 01:09:37.649
I'm charging back in. Jules or Zebulon? One,

01:09:37.710 --> 01:09:41.170
two, three, four, five, six. I probably should

01:09:41.170 --> 01:09:42.989
say that out loud. One, two, three, Zebulon,

01:09:42.989 --> 01:09:45.149
four, five, six, Jules. And that's gonna be a

01:09:45.149 --> 01:09:48.029
Zebulon with a one. So I'm gonna slide up to

01:09:48.029 --> 01:09:51.909
you. Goes to bite. Wants that delicious, tender

01:09:51.909 --> 01:09:56.340
half -dragon flesh. 17 on the die, so it definitely

01:09:56.340 --> 01:10:03.399
hits. That is going to be nine points of damage

01:10:03.399 --> 01:10:06.060
on Zebulon. Oh, fuck. All right, I can take that.

01:10:06.180 --> 01:10:08.560
You can? Whoa, all right, all right. Yeah, remember

01:10:08.560 --> 01:10:10.739
Jean built me up. That's right. He's back to

01:10:10.739 --> 01:10:14.460
full. Strength save. Oh, yeah. Pounces on you.

01:10:14.819 --> 01:10:16.720
Damn, I wish you still had that Bardic Inspiration

01:10:16.720 --> 01:10:17.899
die. Wish I still had the Bardic Inspiration.

01:10:17.899 --> 01:10:19.979
That's okay, that's okay. Fight's almost over

01:10:19.979 --> 01:10:25.130
here. That's a 16. 16. Okay, you're standing

01:10:25.130 --> 01:10:27.949
up. This thing bites you and you hold your ground.

01:10:28.329 --> 01:10:30.569
This thing's ripping on your arm. I imagine you're

01:10:30.569 --> 01:10:32.449
kind of just like trying to fight it. This horse

01:10:32.449 --> 01:10:34.930
-sized coyote cannot bring you to your knees.

01:10:35.869 --> 01:10:39.750
Things are looking pretty cool. Jules, are you

01:10:39.750 --> 01:10:42.149
going to keep looking cool? I think at this point

01:10:42.149 --> 01:10:43.569
Jules is just going to go in with his rapier.

01:10:43.869 --> 01:10:48.810
All right. Let's see what you've got. That says

01:10:48.810 --> 01:10:54.319
18. That's going to hit. Max damage, eight. Eight,

01:10:54.319 --> 01:10:57.100
okay. Excellent. Excellent. It's just a D8, no

01:10:57.100 --> 01:11:00.880
plus? No plus. Not for Rapier. Wow. He's not

01:11:00.880 --> 01:11:03.220
a melee guy. Yeah, that's true. You jab into

01:11:03.220 --> 01:11:04.859
this thing, rip through some of its cheek and

01:11:04.859 --> 01:11:07.939
its face, rips out. It screams. That's going

01:11:07.939 --> 01:11:11.300
to be Jean Franklin to end the round. All right.

01:11:11.579 --> 01:11:14.039
Let's see what we can do with a spear attack

01:11:14.039 --> 01:11:18.039
here. So he can move up. He can step in your

01:11:18.039 --> 01:11:19.920
space and then step back basically. Oh, yep.

01:11:19.979 --> 01:11:22.739
Sorry, I forgot that he was. Way over there.

01:11:22.899 --> 01:11:25.460
He leaves that one body, comes running over.

01:11:25.880 --> 01:11:28.779
What you got? Yeah, it's just an eight. Okay.

01:11:28.800 --> 01:11:31.460
It's a no -go. Staying behind you, not quite

01:11:31.460 --> 01:11:35.439
able to land that low. This thing looks really,

01:11:35.680 --> 01:11:41.020
really bad. Can Jaune actually take a step back

01:11:41.020 --> 01:11:43.279
behind Zebulon after his attack? Oh, yeah, so

01:11:43.279 --> 01:11:46.659
he's near, like... Nope. to the right one more

01:11:46.659 --> 01:11:50.079
space so that he's both five feet from Zeb. Oh,

01:11:50.079 --> 01:11:51.779
yeah, so he's next to everybody. Yeah, ready

01:11:51.779 --> 01:11:53.640
to guard. Okay, you see him ready. He's got his

01:11:53.640 --> 01:11:54.539
hands out. He's taking the defensive position.

01:11:54.840 --> 01:11:57.960
Hell, yeah. Zebulon, that's you. All right, yeah.

01:11:58.060 --> 01:12:03.840
Sweet. We're going to go in with a saber attack

01:12:03.840 --> 01:12:10.600
here. Fifteen for the first attack. Okay. Go

01:12:10.600 --> 01:12:12.380
ahead and give me that damage. Yeah, and you're

01:12:12.380 --> 01:12:15.159
going to get sneak attack damage because... Jules

01:12:15.159 --> 01:12:17.300
is right next to me. Okay, yeah. You see this

01:12:17.300 --> 01:12:19.359
corgi? This defenseless corgi in front of you,

01:12:19.399 --> 01:12:20.479
and you're going to go ahead and give it sneak

01:12:20.479 --> 01:12:22.439
attack damage? Yeah, yeah. That's going to be

01:12:22.439 --> 01:12:26.000
2d6 plus 1d8 plus 3 to the poor, cute little

01:12:26.000 --> 01:12:28.560
corgi. What's the corgi's name? Scooby -Doo.

01:12:28.699 --> 01:12:30.159
Scooby -Doo. All right, let's kill Scooby -Doo.

01:12:30.180 --> 01:12:34.880
And that's copyright. Well, that one's 10 damage.

01:12:35.159 --> 01:12:37.960
10 damage. Pretty low. Pretty low. I mean, he's

01:12:37.960 --> 01:12:41.239
already got 11 plus. 10 damage. You see this

01:12:41.239 --> 01:12:45.710
thing. Starts trying to backpedal. It wants to

01:12:45.710 --> 01:12:47.630
run away. Before it can, that's going to be Chester.

01:12:48.390 --> 01:12:51.029
He's going with a short bow again. Okay. Give

01:12:51.029 --> 01:12:58.090
me that attack. Raggy. Raggy, help. No, it's

01:12:58.090 --> 01:13:00.949
not going to do it. It's 10. Okay. Man, you guys

01:13:00.949 --> 01:13:04.189
are cold. Wait, is he actively running away?

01:13:04.329 --> 01:13:06.250
He is actively running away now. Now he's going

01:13:06.250 --> 01:13:07.630
to start moving. It's his turn after Chester.

01:13:07.630 --> 01:13:11.109
So Chester gets another AOL. Jules and Zebulon

01:13:11.109 --> 01:13:13.770
take AOLs. Oh, Jules and Zeb. Go ahead and take

01:13:13.770 --> 01:13:18.189
AOLs. This guy's leaving. 16 for Zeb. You are

01:13:18.189 --> 01:13:20.090
not making it into the dice tray at all tonight.

01:13:20.310 --> 01:13:23.869
Yeah, the dice tray's hard. No, it's not going

01:13:23.869 --> 01:13:26.069
to do it for Jules. Hey, they're rolling better

01:13:26.069 --> 01:13:28.829
outside the dice tray than in. Let me give you

01:13:28.829 --> 01:13:31.250
that D8 plus 3. I got the only nat 20 tonight

01:13:31.250 --> 01:13:35.369
in the dice tray. Ooh, fighting words. That's

01:13:35.369 --> 01:13:38.050
max damage, 10. That's twice getting max damage

01:13:38.050 --> 01:13:41.250
on a D8. In the dice tray. What's it look like

01:13:41.250 --> 01:13:44.069
when you kill this coyote? Oh, it's horrific

01:13:44.069 --> 01:13:47.329
and sad. I mean, however puppies are killed,

01:13:47.449 --> 01:13:49.829
I guess. I don't know. God. I don't know. David,

01:13:50.109 --> 01:13:57.970
voice Scooby -Doo dying. Jesus. Yeah, it's kind

01:13:57.970 --> 01:14:00.689
of like that, I guess. It's like that. It's a

01:14:00.689 --> 01:14:03.350
boar. Put some sound effects on there while you're

01:14:03.350 --> 01:14:07.539
at it. Jeremy editing. Oh, it's going to be gruesome.

01:14:07.680 --> 01:14:14.779
Give me an Oscar. This thing drops dead in front

01:14:14.779 --> 01:14:19.479
of you. And let's cut this music now. This thing

01:14:19.479 --> 01:14:26.220
drops on the ground before you. And you are standing

01:14:26.220 --> 01:14:31.640
here in the quiet, in the fog. The horse begins

01:14:31.640 --> 01:14:35.930
to... Just calm, just a little bit. Whoa, whoa,

01:14:35.930 --> 01:14:38.770
hey, hey there. Come on, come on. All right,

01:14:38.810 --> 01:14:42.489
all right. Hey, y 'all all right? Everyone all

01:14:42.489 --> 01:14:49.489
right? Well, we're all standing at least. Yeah,

01:14:50.369 --> 01:14:54.689
I think we're all right. Jules? Jules? Jules,

01:14:54.750 --> 01:14:58.609
what is that? Chester points towards the downed

01:14:58.609 --> 01:15:03.399
coyote. And you guys look. And see that the stomach

01:15:03.399 --> 01:15:09.140
of this fallen beast begins to writhe and move

01:15:09.140 --> 01:15:13.140
before you. And with a sound of tearing flesh,

01:15:13.300 --> 01:15:16.699
you watch as five fingers rip through this thing's

01:15:16.699 --> 01:15:20.659
stomach and leap out towards you. And we'll call

01:15:20.659 --> 01:15:21.119
it there!