Hey friends, it's Jeremy. If you're enjoying
the show and having fun, I'd like to ask for
a brief moment of your time to leave us a rating
and review on whatever platform you're listening
on. And for the latest Fantasy Pants news, updates,
and other random shit, be sure to check out our
Instagram at FantasyPantsPod. On festival day,
trusted retainers of good Lady Dre. Though merriment
they sought, t 'was horror they found. When all
songs were silenced by a rattling sound. Their
eyes filled with blood, foul villains delivered.
Starved serpent of death, from carriage it slithered.
As crowds broke to veer. Forefaced the aggressors.
Zeppelin jewels. John Franklin Chester. And they
stood. Oh, they stood. Why do you guys always
do this to me? Why do I have to be surprised
every time? I mean, I love it. I do. I just feel
a little outside the loop. Welcome back. That
was better than I expected it to be. Dude, that
was excellent. Let me tell you, dear listeners,
just because we stretched up this intro this
time around, maybe for a few more times coming
up, that does not mean Storyteller Oren is going
away. We're just doing something new while he's
here with the party. Unless you jokers get him
killed as his bodyguards. He'll come back. That's
kind of on you. That's on me. That's on you.
If Storyteller Oren's gone, then I quit. Was
I hired as his bodyguard? Was I hired as his
bodyguard? No, but you led us into this arc here.
You led yourselves into the arc when you played
the game. You fools. I mean, that is fair. That's
fair. Look at this. She's taking a reel. I've
got Danny in one hand and a beer in the other.
I'm a happy boy. Danny looks pretty happy as
well. Man, oh, man. Are you guys ready? Yeah,
I'm ready. No. I actually wasn't even focusing
on you. I was just focusing on Danny. I couldn't
see you or the beer in that little reel. So this
is going to be just a Danny reel. Sorry. She
wants the spotlight. It looked like she was about
to roll a die or something. That's awesome. Oh,
look how sleepy she is. Well, she's actually
sleepy, but the second I put her down. Yeah,
she'll be all over the place. She'll be watching
for any dice that falls, like, food! And it's
a terrifying prospect. Speaking of terror, we've
entered the horror arc, as I've mentioned recently.
And just now you are faced with what I would
imagine to be many people's worst nightmare.
Not just a rattlesnake, but a 30 -foot monstrous
rattlesnake. You're skipping the floor play and
getting right into it, huh? No, no. I want to
ask you a question. This is our banter. This
is our banter. Buy us dinner first. What are
you guys afraid of? What's your biggest phobia
for getting into this? Heights. Okay. Elaborate.
Give me more. Interesting. What do you want to
know? I don't go on roller coasters. I don't
like to go on tall buildings. Renowned hiker.
Yep. Mountain hiker. Steven Rodriguez. Two feet
on the ground. I can handle that. You have done
Knife's Edge. Knife's Edge in Maine. Knife's
Edge in Maine in Baxter State Park was probably
the single most terrifying thing I've ever done.
I loved it. I loved it. Did it with my friend
Tia. We did it backwards. Should not do it backwards.
What? Yeah. Why? We went down Knife's Edge. Well,
because we had no intention of doing it. We climbed
up. Oh, gosh. I can't remember the name of the
trail we climbed up. We climbed up a slide. Just,
you know, our regular big group. We had even
a couple of young preteens with us. And we got
to the top and our friend Tia goes, hey, I want
to go down Knife's Edge. Because going to Baxter
State Park, I mean, like even where we live,
it's like five or six hours away. And she's like,
when am I going to come back here? I want to
go down Knife's Edge. And nobody else was going
down Knife's Edge. Everybody else had kids with
them. And me being the volunteer search and rescue
member, I was like, well, I'm not going to let
you go down Knife's Edge alone. I guess I'm going
down Knife's Edge. Oh, my God. Wow. Just Google
search it, Baxter State Park, Knife's Edge. It
was something. Yeah, you're standing on, there
are parts of the ridge where they're like, the
ridge is like three or four feet wide, and it's
just a steep, immediate, death -defying drop
on either side of you. Man. That sounds incredible.
We've got a fear, like a serious fear, and an
anecdote about facing that fear. Yeah. Cool as
hell. Follow it up, Jeremy. I am afraid of heights,
but I still do it. All right, all right. And
now I need to scrap the idea that I had of us
going on a fantasy pants group trip to Six Flags
this summer. Well, here's the problem, though.
I'll hold your purse. Steven already had heights.
You can't have Stevens. I go with a fanny pack.
You can't copy Stevens. Fanny packs at theme
parks. Oh, no. It's still a thing. Oh, no. But
you've got to wear it cool. You've got to wear
it to the side and not just right in the center
and the front. You've got to wear it to the side.
Then you're cool. You could wear a fanny pack
on Knife's Edge. We could go back to Baxter.
I would honestly be down for that. That sounds
incredible. I'd take you guys to Baxter. Yeah.
I can't be seen with two men with fanny packs.
I'm sorry. I've got an image to maintain. I'm
famous now. I'm popular. Bruh. Bruh. I'm even
talking about neon pink. Total 90s panty pack.
You got to keep your hands free. You need them
for climbing Knife's Edge. So I need to understand
something. You're afraid of heights. Yes. So
like just standing, is that terrifying for you?
Yes. Hey -o. Because he's like 8 '13". I am afraid
of heights, but I still go on roller coasters
and I still go up those heights and I still do
it all. It's terrifying and I shit my pants every
time. Oh my gosh. But I still do it because it's
fun as hell. Hell yeah. See, I don't have fun.
I've been on rides before, and it's just been
sheer panic to the point where I have stopped
the ride. I mean, the rides are safer than fucking
Knife's Edge. That's a fair point. I logically
believe you, but in the moment, I don't believe
you. Dude, I wonder if we were at Baxter again,
if I would even voluntarily do Knife's Edge.
Like there's a coal. There's this like really
steep, there's like a cliff that you have to
climb down and then back up. That very like sharp
geographic change is called a coal, C -O -L.
And we were climbing down this coal. And then,
like I said, you have to climb back up it. And
I got to a point in the climb where there was
like 10, 13 feet left. And it's pretty much straight
down. It's more like climbing a ladder than climbing
a mountain. And I couldn't move any further with
my backpack. So I had to take my backpack off.
And there was a couple of younger folks on the
other side who were coming up the trail. And
they were taking a break while we were climbing
down. And I had to shout out to them. I said,
hey, I'm not falling. I'm just about to drop
my backpack down 10 feet. And it's going to make
a really loud noise. So then I threw my bag down
and could climb down after it, barely. What if
we all went together? We went as a group. Then
I would be not just nervous about me, but I would
be nervous about you guys because I'm like a
shepherd sort of thing. He's a dad hiker. Oh,
my gosh. And I'm a reckless hiker, so we have
a kind of a thing back and forth when we go.
So we got about 25%. We had just started the
trail, and we came across this literal dad hiker.
It was a father, and I think he had two older
sons, and he was talking to one of them, and
we could overhear him, and he said, don't be
cavalier. So now that's one of my hiking mantras
is don't be cavalier. What an excellent thing
to just hear in the wild. I do love that. I do
really love that. Oh, man. All right, so we got
heights. We got heights. I mentioned last time
I am a severe arachnophobe. I mean, I'm with
you there, too. Yeah, they're awful. They're
terrible creatures. They really are. I despise
spiders more than anything. I don't want them
to touch me, but I'm not afraid of them like
the way you are. I have full -on... Panic attacks,
lose a strength in my leg and fall over kind
of thing, just seeing a big old spider. You know
what the worst is? What's that? When you get
in the shower and you're taking a shower. Oh,
the wolf spiders? Yeah, fuck those things. And
then you fucking look up and there's a spider
on the wall in the shower? Mm -hmm. Oh, my God.
Yeah. It's awful. While Google's open and you're
looking up Knife's Edge, Google wolf spider if
you haven't already. Had the pleasure. Oh. They're
pretty large. They're terrible. I mean, they're
not like Texas big. They're not like. Australia
big, but they're definitely New Hampshire big.
They love my house. Oh, God. They're everywhere
here. Yeah. I'll walk outside my door, and there's
a wolf spider above my doorknob. It's because
of your name. It's true. Oh, my God. They flock
to him. They flock to him. They know. They know.
A long lost kin. Well, gentlemen, anything else?
You want to discuss before we get to the beat
down? Yes, let's keep prolonging this, please.
I kind of, a little bit, have a little something.
All right, all right. We'll deal with a slaughter
later then. What do you got? I've been having
a lot of fun buying gifts, mostly, just from
people we have who mutually follow us on Instagram.
We have a blacksmith by the name of Hooli Forge.
and Hooli Forge makes hair sticks. So, you know,
you put your hair up in a bun, and in order to
keep it in that bun, you put, like, a stick into
it. I thought those were just chopsticks. Huh.
I mean, I think they can be, sort of. I mean,
like, but Hooli Forge makes them out of, I believe
they look like railroad ties. Whoa. So he heats
them and, like, stretches them and twists them
and puts a hook on the end. I don't know if my
wife Rachel is going to listen to this episode,
but I got her one for her birthday coming up
in June. That is so cool. Well, now what are
you going to do if she listens to this episode
now? Then I'll just use it. I got to see a Steven
bun. These things look pretty badass, and they're
like 20 bucks. Put it on the Insta. Absolutely.
If you got long hair and 20 bucks, do yourself
a favor. Go to Hooli Forge on Instagram. and
pick yourself up a hair stick. Makes me want
to grow my hair out just so I can get those.
Right? You were being sarcastic. I was being
genuine. We're doing shout -outs here, actually.
I want you guys to open up Roll20 for me. Would
you do that? Got it. It already is open. Oh,
you're looking at it? Okay, great. What I'm showing
you now, we're going to put this up on Instagram
later on. This is the town of Promise. Now, a
friend of the show, Rochelle, soundpukigirlinstagram
.com. Shout out. Shout out. Rochelle is amazing.
She's actually been making me maps kind of behind
the scenes. And this map here of the sort of
overall town that I'm showing you, there's a
point you see marked out, a little clearing area
not far from the entrance, if you can see that.
Yeah, I see a big white circle, if that's what
you're talking about. That's what I'm talking
about. Yeah, that's it. That is where things
are going down. And I'll keep that on the actual
image when we put it on Instagram. She also made,
let me show you this. Rochelle's a dude, by the
way. Shout out, Rochelle. What up? What? Yeah.
What? And she's a homie. Oh, really? You said
she before. Oh, no. I mean, I don't mean dudes
like gender dudes. This is so getting cut. God,
Steven. We have our first cut of deception. You
have to be careful. You just said Rochelle's
a dude. Yeah. By the way. No, no. It was like,
she's a dude? Yeah, a homie. Can you be possibly
more unclear? Possibly. It's the least clear
anyone's ever been in a statement in history.
I see it now. Guinness. Get over here. World
record. Maybe this isn't getting cut. No way.
Don't cut that. I was like, what? She's awesome.
I'm so terrified of misgendering. That broke
my hole. Say that broke my hole. That broke my
hole. My whole everything. What does that mean?
God. Steven. I'm going to veto. This cannot get
cut any longer. I know. David said broke my hole.
Well, now you have a great opportunity to both
embarrass me and David in one go. This is perfect.
This is perfect. And it's impossible to embarrass
me. But here you see Promise, this nice little
fenced -in town, all these sort of wooden structures
all over the place, a little river running through.
You see a clearing filled with these brightly
colored tents and wagons and such, a stage of
people. But we see panic. And as we're kind of
overlooking all this, I didn't do it this world.
I want to try to get into the habit of it. We
see on the top of the screen, overlaid title
card, Town of Promise, God's Breath, The Jasper
World. And let me bring you guys to our battle
map. Now, let me set the scene here. At the sort
of northern end of this plaza, we see a wagon
sort of parked off to the side. We see two figures
staying next to it, these two bloody -eyed, straw
hat -wearing, sort of leather armor, looks like
some kind of almost like rangers, people from
the wilds. So just south. and east of them where
the wagon sort of entrance is opened up. You
see this massive rattlesnake all coiled up, just
rattle going, hissing, staring down Jean Franklin
10 feet away to the south. You see Jean Franklin
standing tall. He's got like his metal spear
held, his shield, new shield now in hand. And
you see like something in his eyes you haven't
really seen before. Maybe once when the building
or when the tent was on fire. on uh so sunko
in the dancing night market and you saw him immediately
snap to attention and go to like lead the group
bringing water because as much of a pompous douche
as this turtle is he has the makings of a hero
and he's staring the snake down um blue eyes
staring boldly shield and spear drawn and at
the ready putting himself in front of the fleeing
crowds Zebulon, you're just south and east of
him where there's a building sort of stretched
out. You're tucked around the corner of the building,
fully hidden, ready to move in, strike whenever
you can, whenever you see an opening. And then
if we look far to the west here, not super far,
but 50 feet away from the snake itself, 30 feet
away from the two gentlemen with bloody eyes.
Jules and Chester are slowly kind of circling
around the tents where they can kind of stay
somewhat hidden, where they can move in on the
two strangers or the snake, whoever they choose.
They can pick their target. And far enough away,
they're not really noted here. And so I'd say
you have a pretty good opening as this combat
begins. Now, one thing I want to touch on bringing
up Jules is your cloak. Yes. So I... Love the
idea of your cloak of billowing protection, basically
combining two items together because cloak of
protection, great item, not super fun, not super
flavorful. Cloak of billowing, very flavorful,
not very good item. Slap them together, we get
an item that's pretty all right, pretty funny.
I love the idea of Jules, so down to earth, having
this self -billowing cloak. It just feels so
over the top. But what I'm going to do is in
any scenario like this, where you had time to
prepare yourself, it's a bonus action, make the
cloak billow for one minute. I'm assuming you've
already done that. I'm going to assume that in
the future, so we're not going to get into the
habit of you having to waste a bonus action,
starting the combat to make it below. I want
to see you do cool shit with those bonus actions.
I'm not interested in limiting you. I want to
see you do everything you can. I'll take that.
It's already going. You have that plus one to
AC. Remember that. Hooray. It's pretty good stuff.
It's pretty good stuff. Chester, right behind
you. I imagine you guys bow drawn, ready to go.
So you guys move up behind them. That being said,
gentlemen, I want you to roll for initiative.
Yeah, let's roll. Oh, boy. You want to go first?
Six. Okay. That's horrible. Zebulon got a 17.
Clutch. I need Chester. All right, so Chester's
16. Ooh, and that's a 14 for John Franklin. Okay.
So all in all, Jules, not the best. Everyone
else, pretty good. Pretty good. This might not
go too terribly after all. All right. All around
you, people are screaming. Charging down, you
see, like I said, there's a lot of humans on
God's breath. It's a mostly human -dominated
world. There are pockets of Haringans mixed in,
as well as a few outsiders from different worlds
rushing away. But you are the only people heading
towards the fray, towards this imminent danger,
this absolutely terrifying monstrosity from the
rattle. These people know what this is, where
it came from, and why they should fear it. And
maybe you're just fools. Or maybe you're heroes.
Guess we'll see. To the south, you see where
there's a stage in the southern end of the plaza,
fairly far away from this combat. One of these...
people in purple clothes uh basically jumps down
they're all humans in this in this group of this
choir that was singing uh the awakening song
all together just like back and forth that it's
sort of the main part of the low humming uh song
you heard moving in here uh one of these figures
uh sort of androgynous human uh with a small
frame and purple clothes and a puff of black
hair um they kind of run out to start directing
the crowds and bringing them on one way um so
you're kind of seeing that as people are as some
some orders being brought to chaos to the south,
but around you, it is chaos. And it's worth noting,
too, and I love this, we're on God's breath.
There are horses now, baby. I couldn't throw
a horse at you in a burning tent of some sunko.
I just couldn't do it. But here? Here? Oh, not
one horse is back. No natural ones here. No natural
ones. Except unless I roll, then it's still horses
on you. New rule. House rule. With that all being
said and done, let's get this thing started with
my turn. Here's what you see. One of these two
humans with their eyes just like seeing, but
like looking around the crowd. You don't know
how they can see through. There's this haze of
blood. There's this moving, pulsing liquid just
covering their vision. They're looking around
the crowd, and a slow smile starts to creep onto
his face, and he just says, Cully, Cully, come
out, come out. He's waiting for you. And this
figure doesn't move from where he stands, but
you see he draws his arrow forward. He takes
a vial from his pocket, pops the lid off, and
begins to coat. Oh, son of a bitch. Fucking asshole.
But that is an action. And now, now it's Zebulon.
Zebulon, you're hiding. You're seeing all this
happen. What do you want to do? So Zebulon has
his back against the corner of this building,
facing away from the giant snake who's behind
him over his shoulder. And he can see all the
people running. Everybody's scared. He reaches
down to his belt. Puts a hand on either of his
sabers. And he starts to breathe heavy. And after
the second or third breath, his exhale becomes
smoke. Black smoke. And with his hands on his
weapons, he steps around the corner and unleashes
his breath weapon. That is cool. On the snake.
So I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.
Dexterity? It's a pretty low save. I'm kind of
gambling here. Oh, my God. All right. Dex save.
And I'm saving my buttons. It's a natural 20.
Oh, my God. On the dex save. This thing, like,
you shoot this fire breath out, and you watch
as a serpent, like, immediately clocks you. It's
so fast. It just coils and slithers out of the
way. It just goes over him. Your fire breath
hits the carriage behind. The carriage starts
to light up in flame and start burning and crackling.
A backlight to this monstrous creature that's
now turned its gaze towards you. Shit, yeah.
Cool, but I'm going to take cunning action, disengage,
and just hop right back around the corner. You're
like, nope. Whoops, that didn't work. Oh, God.
I love it. All right, so you just, or cutting
action hide, it would probably be, right? Because
you're not within range, so you can get away,
but you just hide. Sure, yeah. Any stealth check.
Now that you've actually been noticed, only a
stealth check when you go back to hide. Oh, actually,
that's a really bad roll. That's only a 10. Okay.
So you move back around the corner. But where
are you going to hide? There's nowhere to go.
You see, like, the streets are empty. You see
no good spots to, like, really hold yourself.
And once again, you put your back to it, knowing
that if this thing turns the corner, you're right
there. It's going to see you. Luckily, you have
a total night between you and it. And that's
your turn? Yeah, that's Zebulon's turn. All righty.
And then we're going to go to Jesta. Jesta! Chester!
Chester's turn. So Chester's in range to make
a ranged attack with his short bow, correct?
Indeed he is. Yeah, from where Chester is right
now, you have line of sight on all three potential
targets. Okay, he's going for the snake. Okay.
With his short bow. So he looks over at you.
Hey, do me a favor. It smells weird in here.
It smells a little weird. What? Does this smell
odd? It smells like crit in here. What? No! No!
Is it because Chester just crit his pants? God!
I think it's because Chester just crit his pants.
Natural fucking 20. Natural 20. So Chester looks
over at you, draws his weapon. I think he's waiting.
He almost looks to you, Jules, for like, when
do I do it? Jules gives him a nod. You nod. And,
like, just then, his bow snaps up. He sees, like,
this exact moment. The snake, like, recoiling
back from Zebulon's fire, opens himself up in
the perfect place, his head sort of arcing up
above his body. And right as it's there, right
as it's open, arrow. First time he's shot this
bow. Oh, that's right. Chester's really showcasing
how his talent just, whoo, right in the head
of the snake. Give me some damage on this thing.
Eight. Eight is not bad. Not bad, not bad. Wow.
Yeah, so, like, this snake just dodges back from
Zebulon, gets pierced by an arrow, pisses its
fangs dripping. It is so pissed. And it's starving,
too. This thing looks mad hungry. You don't know
how long it's been in that carriage unfed. This
situation is getting more and more dangerous.
But also, you guys are starting to clean this
up. Starting to chip away. And next up is actually
going to be Jean Franklin, another hero. All
right. So I'll let you, obviously, I'm going
to let you role play this out. I'm thinking that
is there a way for Jean Franklin to know what
alignment these creatures have? You will need
to roll for that. I want you to roll either insight
or religion because you're not even really sure
what these things are. They look like they're
just humans with some strange stuff going on
with their eyes and strange mannerisms. What
does that mean? So that's a 15. 15 on religion.
Jean Franklin turns towards the two guys. Like
I said, he's kind of holding the shield up towards
the snake. But he knows there's more threat than
that. He looks over and then nods. They're under
some kind of control. I don't think they're evil.
It's hard to understand. Whatever's controlling
them likely is. Hmm. Well, it sounds to me like...
It sounds to me like Jean Franklin might not
be too keen on attacking these guys, at least
not yet. So I'll have him do a spear attack on
the snake. Okay. Which is a plus three to hit.
So I'll have him... He's got to step up in order
to get there. He's only got five foot reach.
So he just... Yeah, he just spear down, charge
up towards the snake. Thrusts out with the spear.
What happens? It's a good roll, but it's cracked.
It's wildly cracked. It was so cracked it was
on the sound mixer. That's another 15. 15 to
hit the snake. It's a hit. Nice. Really? Yeah.
It's a close hit. I'm okay with this. I'm okay
with this. It's a close hit. This thing is very
fast. So he's just got one hand on the spear.
His other hand's in his shield. So it's a D6
plus one for damage. Oh, that's max damage. That's
seven points. Seven more points. Wow. All right.
All right. Nice. Not too bad. Now, let's say
for anyone listening, this giant rattlesnake
is a homebrew creation, so you might have no
idea what's happening on my side. So it's nasty.
It's gross. Yeah. It's pretty gross. But it was
very surprised when one figure man not only stood
against it, but ran towards it and thrust. Take
seven more points of damage on top of the arrow
hit it just took. Rough stuff. You see, beside
the snake and behind it, where it's not really
focused, where it's not looking, the other one
of these figures, still standing where they are,
draws scimitar, pops another vial, and pours
this viscous yellow liquid all over the blade
of the scimitar. And that is going to be my turn.
Oh, wait. No, it's not. Because it's the snake's
turn. Of course it is. And Jean Franklin just
stepped right up to the bed. So here's the first
thing I'm going to do. I'm going to use my bonus
action. The snake lifts up its tail, feeling
threatened, and this loud rattling rings out.
And everyone within 30 feet, I believe that's
just me, Jean and Chester, begin to feel a...
Wait, what? Say that again? I think the enemy's
because of their... Count those squares. Count
those squares. Oh, sorry. I meant Jean and Zeb.
Hang on. Let me actually. There you go. I mean,
still terrible, but. You know, I realize this
in many ways. Everyone within 30 feet. I don't
think the mind control is going to stop this.
My guys included. Suddenly you, Zebulon, around
the corner, you hear this like ringing, rattling
sound. And something about it just activates.
Every fear sense in your body. Your bones go
stiff. Your scales stand on edge. It's very much
like being in the gaze of a massive predator.
I need you and Jean Franklin to both roll wisdom
saving throw. All right. Wisdom. I'll roll Jean
first because I've got his page up. I think it's
just a straight up D20 roll for him. That's a
seven for Jean. That's not good. Let me see.
And here we go. With the bad Zebulon stats. Oh,
yeah. Your wisdom is your lowest stat. Wisdom
is negative three for Zebulon. Are you shitting
me? Dear Lord. Here goes the roll. I'm going
to switch. I was using a chunky die my brother
got me. I'm going to switch to the metal die
that we got from Jason and Andrea at MF Designs.
Oh, it didn't do well. It didn't do well. That's
another. Seven on the die, minus three, that's
a four. Seven for Jaune, four for Zebulon. Okay.
Zebulon and Jules are now frightened. You mean
Jaune. You mean Jaune. Too many J names in this
campaign, I just realized. How many ciders did
you have tonight? Zebulon and Jaune are now frightened.
Now what this means... You have disadvantage
on ability checks and attack rolls while the
source of your fear, this rattlesnake, is within
your line of sight. You also cannot willingly
move closer to this thing. That sucks. You will
get more saves. On your turn, you get a chance
to break this. Right now, as you're standing
there, the fear is coursing through you. Something
unnatural. You know what's worse than that? It's
the fact that that was my... Bonus action. Oh,
my God. Now, we'll give you this. You don't see
it. Jules, you would. One of the figures, the
one with the arrow now covered in this viscous
liquid sort of bow drawn and ready also steps
back in fear. Awesome. Okay. So this thing scared
some of its own quote -unquote allies in this
combat as well. And now I'm going to roll to
attack Jean -Franck. This thing rears back its
head, fangs extend, and... Natty 19. Definite
hit. He's got a 19 AC. Natty 19. This is not
good. Doesn't sound good. I need you to make
a constitution saving throw. Oh, God. Before
we resolve the full extent of the damage you're
about to take. All right. Plus two to Jean Franklin's
con save. That's a dirty 20. Oh, really? Yeah.
Okay. John Franklin, so this thing snaps down.
It's fangs driving deep into his body. He takes
14 points of damage. Oh, no. How much? 14. I
rolled really good. What the hell? I rolled super
good. That's most of his HP. It's bad. This thing
is very strong, but as it's poisoned, sort of.
you know, goes into his body, and you kind of
see it, like, almost, like, swell up for a second.
He, like, and he's terrified. He's under the
frightening condition, too, so he's, like, shaking.
He's barely holding his weapon and shield in
hand, but you see him kind of flex, and the body's
swelling kind of, like, goes down. And he manages
to, his eyes blur for a second, but he kind of
regained focus. He's still standing, but he is
hurt. That's gonna be Jules. Jules Kass. Disson
whispers on the rattlesnake. You son of a bitch.
Make a wisdom save. All right, all right. I'm
so stressed right now that I'm having a fucking
charlie horse in my foot right now. It hurts.
It hurts so bad. This is huge. This is huge.
Now, like, I will say this. Last time you cast
this spell, it straight up took the big monster
out of the combat. Yeah. This time around, it's
not as easy because you are in a crowded town.
This thing walking away doesn't mean it's going
to walk back into the jungle and be gone. No.
But you might get rid of it for some time. And
that is huge. So let me roll this die. This is
such a tweener. Wow. It is literally a 10 on
the die. It's a wisdom save? Yes. It's a 10.
I have no bonus to my wisdom. You failed. No,
no! You fucking failed! Oh my god! Well, I mean,
yes, but also no. What's going to happen now?
Wait, hold on, hold on. Before it runs the fuck
away, you take 3d6 psychic damage. What? All
right, that's pretty big. That's a lot of damage.
Let's go for it. Six. Two ones in that. Yikes.
Two ones and a four. All right. Hey, you're chipping
away at this guy. Pretty good. And he has to
run away. So give me a visual image here. What's
it look like when you do this? Chester shot his
arrow beside you. He looks over to you. What
does he see? Jules LaRoche. I think he sees just
a bright flash of light. And coming from that
light, coming towards him, just the screams of
the undead. Whoa. Holy shit. Okay. And it just
starts, the snake just starts twitching and quivering.
Hell yeah. And turns around and books it. Yeah,
its rattle starts shaking violently. Like, it
is terrified. Does it have to move basically
as far away from you as possible? Move as far
as its speed allows. So you have to go your full
distance. So there's a building between you and
Al. So it's going to basically go to the north
because that way it can kind of move northwards
and try to get around that building as far as
its speed allows. So here's what we're going
to do. That snake basically walks off the map.
I will move it. I believe it's normal movement,
30 feet, so if it's going as far as it can allow.
Okay. Well, actually, no. It's reaction, right?
Yes. So that's 30 feet. Yeah, we'll just say
it's 30 feet. She takes it off the northern part
of the map, but we know how far away it is from
you guys currently. Okay, great. Solid move.
This thing just, like, roars back. Rattles, hisses,
and he's like, move away. Almost like bashing
its side against the burning wagon as it starts
slithering away. The crowds of the North Indians
are screaming, run. But the snake is not focused
on them. It's focused on getting the hell away
from whatever that just happened to him right
there. Damn straight it is. Hell yeah. Do you
want to move? Anything else you want to do, Jules?
Yeah. I'm going to move just to the south. I
can't. Okay, there we go. Just to the south of
the table there. So I'm now within eyesight of
Zebulon. Great. And I'm going to cast Bardic
Inspiration on Zebulon. Ooh. Hell yeah. And now
I got some buffs to Bardic Inspiration. That's
right. Which I shall reveal again if the time
comes up. Okay. Okay. Well, okay, hold on. Okay,
so I guess I'll reveal it now. So just remember
you have a mode of potential around you. which
is a nice shimmering little kind of circle around
your waist. Oh, it looks nice. So if you use
an ability to check and you use your Bardic Inspiration
die, you can roll it again and choose which roll
to use. For an attack roll, if a creature is
within five feet of you, it must succeed on a
con saving throw or take thunder damage equal
to the number of the Bardic Inspiration die.
Whoa. Or on a saving throw, you gain temporary
hit points equal to the number rolled on your
Bardic Inspiration die plus three. Holy shit.
What was the first one real fast again? First
one is the ability check. Okay, ability check.
Basically, pretty much advantage on an ability
check, which with what just happened, I believe
makes it just a flat ability check because he
has disadvantage on ability checks. This gives
him advantage. So now he's back to just flat.
Wow. That's pretty solid. Yeah. Okay. All right.
I believe that is Jules' turn. Okay, and with
that, I'm up again. You see one of these figures,
the one holding the bow. We'll call him David
Bowie with a Y. Okay, it was lame, but I acknowledge
the effort. He raises the bow up, and he's looking
around at all the running people kind of away.
He's just like the little liquid sort of glinting
off the arrow tab. And he's, Corley! Come on
out. Come on. This can all end. Corley, we know
you're here. Come out. These guys don't want
us. But as, funnily enough though, as you say
that, like he's like training around and he sees
one figure stepping back kind of out, getting
sight on Zebulon, casting this inspiration, and
you put yourself right where he can see you.
Closest figure around as everyone else is running.
And that arrow whirls towards you. He smiles
and fires. Will A. No, never mind. It won't.
What? It misses. What? No, no, no. The listeners
want to know. What did you roll? I rolled a seven.
Fuck off with that. You miss. Three on the die.
I was like, maybe it's a really good bonus. It's
not. I don't know why you entertained for a second.
I was going to hit you with a seven. Man, yeah,
so. Whirls right past you. And you are okay,
which is good because that could have been so
bad. Yeah, it could have. Yeah, just clings into
a table set up on a pink -covered tent behind
you. And Jules, you are okay. And that's all
this guy's going to do. He's basically just going
to draw another arrow, pull another vial out,
but he doesn't have time to do that again. Moving
on to Zebulon. Zebulon the snake is gone. You
only have these two figures to contend with at
the moment. So now that Zebulon is scared, can
you remind me at the beginning of my turn, do
I get that save? I'm also going to put this green
chunky D20 in the dice jail for a little while.
It's going to be at the end of your turn. Okay.
So remind me what that means for moving towards
the snake. The snake is technically to the north
of where you are, which means you wouldn't be
able to move. If you come out of hiding, I just
straight up can't move north. You can't move
towards it until you break the fear effect. So
you're just like, you turn the corner, you see
it's still there, but you feel that sensation
of just pure, raw fear in your body still, and
you can't move. So Zebulon turns the corner,
is paralyzed with fear, releases his hands from
his swords at his side, pulls out his bow, knocks
an arrow, and fires at the... closest bloody
eye boy over by the wagon. You had a bow. He's
got a short bow. You used that bow. That was
the first thing you ever attacked with was a
bow in the whole campaign. I full forgot about
that bow. Wow. Give me that attack roll. You're
attacking the one with the scimitar drawn right
now. Okay, the guy with the white icon? Yes.
Okay, yeah. So the one closer to you, he's got
the scimitar out. All right, that's a plus five.
Let's see what I got here. That's another dirty
20. Oh, my God. All right. All right. It's going
pretty good for you guys. Yeah. That's a D6 plus
three. Let's see what we get here. Don't try
and minimize this, David. Yeah. All right. That's
six damage. Six damage. Not too shippy. And shippy.
Not too shippy. As a bonus action, I'm going
to use steady aim. on that same enemy. So as
a bonus action, I give myself advantage on my
next attack roll. You can use bonus actions before
actions. Oh, okay. Do you want to roll against?
Roll against if you crit. Because you would have
used that before doing this. Here's your bow.
Your hand's still trembling, but as you kind
of focus on this guy, your trembling stops. You're
holding firm. Roll me against if you get a crit.
Yeah, but now I feel like it sounds weird. That's
the rules, man. You steady aim and then you attack.
That's the setup. That's the bonus action to
action setup. Damn. I've never played this class,
so I've never used steady aim before. Hey, D
&D is always a learning experience. Okay. And
learning is the best part of a plan. That's fine.
All right. I've never used steady aim before,
so I'm going to be cheesy about it and roll again.
It's not cheesy. It's CBA 20. You already hit.
Get the fuck out. Are you kidding me? Bullshit!
Dude, I'm not even joking. I take it back! Hands
in the air. I take it all back! Hands in the
air, come and look at it. Fuck! Dude, I just
crit all over the studio. Where's my crit? Dude,
I was not expecting to have to clean this room
tonight, but there's crit everywhere. It's like
you try to play Cool DM, because you're like,
5 % chance it's not going to happen anyway, and
then it happens, and you're like, God! Dude,
it feels extra dirty, though. No, you know what?
It's by the rules. All right, I'll give you another
D6 of damage. Steven, in a different world, you
would have absolutely, like, if you had known,
you would have done that and then your action.
Like, it's not cheesy. You're not doing anything
differently. I hear you. I appreciate it. So
here's your D6. Give me that D6, you son of a
bitch. Dude, that's max damage. That's another
six. Fuck yeah. That's 12 total damage. Well,
I'm still up and I hate you, so. The villain
just turns around the corner, fires twice. I'm
going to move you one, just so you can get better
sight. Oh, that's fine, because it's not closer
to the snake, so. Yeah, yeah, it's not closer
to the snake, technically, so you're fine. You're
just moving one. to the east so you're kind of
out of the shade of the building where you can
get a good view of these guys and fire a crit
just right in like the chest this guy's blood
pours out he barely he grunts and kind of like
almost the reaction like fades from his face
and he just kind of turns towards you his bloody
eyes focused on you not a fan you not a fan alright
that's gonna be Chester that's gonna be Chester
Chester Chester's going to go with his crossbow
again, or his shortbow. Hell yeah. Shit. He can
only hit that first guy, right? He can't hit
the one that's trained on Zebulon, correct? Oh,
you know what? I think from where Chester is,
what I'll say is the other guy's going to have
a plus two to his AC because he has partial cover
behind the guy in front of him. So basically,
David Bowie. with a Y, is blocking Michael Scimitar.
So... You can shoot, but Michael Scimitar gets
plus two. Okay, I'm going to go for David Bowie
then. Alright, go for David Bowie with a Y. That
makes sense to me. Steven, train your camera
on that die. Don't you fucking dare. Natural
one. Oh my god. Jules, you used... I love how
fast I thought of this. Jules, you sent the snake
rushing towards the north. And as it blasts upwards
in fear, you see it moves right past a horse.
What do you call them? A horse stand? A horse...
There we go. Come on. What do they call those
fucking things? You tie a horse up to it? Someone
knows a thing. Horse hitch. Boom. I love that.
I don't care. That sounds awesome. I mean, you
can hitch a horse. I like the word. Is it a verb
and a noun? I don't know. Linguists? We'll go
with it. Hitch. Equestrians? Fuck it. It slides
right past one of these, and as it moves past
this horse, it's like fighting past, and it moves
so hard, it pushes so hard against it, the reins
snap, and the horse turns, bolts away from the
snake, charging madly to the south, to the east,
charging, passing the tent, and Chester, blocked
by some brush where he can't really be seen,
this horse blasts through it. And runs him over.
Dexterity saving throw. Natural one is horses.
Yeah, but why does Chester take damage on this?
Natural one, buddy. Horses. Rolodex save. This
is horse shit. You get a save. You get a save.
This is horse shit. A lot of people are not a
fan of critical fumbles. And I have mixed feelings
on it. The only reason I'm so down with it in
this campaign is because... It's because horses.
It's because horses are funny. I mean, I can
see if it was like a fucking natural one in the
save, but... You get a save. When he's fucking
the one dealing the damage fucking 20 feet away.
The people want horses, Jeremy. They want horses.
They demanded horses. You could pass the save
and it'll be all over. The people also don't
want Chester dead. It's not a huge save. I'm
not going to punish you super hard. I'm going
to roll a save. But if you roll a natural one
on the save, there's going to be two horses.
I think that's a 14. Is that correct? Is that
a 14? It is a 14. It's a 14. The 14 will pass.
The 14, the brush besides Chester, begins to
rustle as the thing blasts through. And you see
he goes, oh, shit! And he just dives into a roll
as this thing just stomps down right where he
was and moves past, charging still to the south.
And Chester's, holy shit, Jules! Whoa! Did you
see that? That was close, buddy. Oh, shit. You
got to be a little more careful. Careful. A fucking
horse just came out of the. Chester, watch out
for that horse. Yeah, I know. Pay attention there.
Come on. Come on. Just redraws his bow. Holy
shit. All right. Do you want to move? No. Okay.
No. So he fires. As he's firing, this thing blasts
out from beside him. He dodges it barely. And
we're moving on to Jean Franklin. All so frightened.
So Jean Franklin is going to watch as this snake
slithers away, and with a sigh of relief, he'll
touch his hand to his chest and cast Lay on Hands
and replenishes his lost HP. Nice. Ooh, all of
it? Yeah, he has 15 in his pool, and he's 14
down. So you have one left in your pool. That's
a clutch one. Yeah. That one can bring someone
back from down. Okay. All right. That's his action.
He can't move towards the serpent. Yeah, and
I don't think he has any bonus actions. Okay.
So that is Jean Franklin's turn. Zebulon didn't
get his save at the end of his turn. Oh, right,
yes. And Jaune can also make his. Yeah, take
both your saves right now in succession. And
you said it's a wisdom save, right? It is a wisdom
save. Okay. So you have no chance. I've got Jaune's
page open, so I'll do his first. That's not going
to pass for Jaune. That is a three. Poor Jaune.
He's trying to be cool, but he can't. He's just
too scared. And here goes Zebulon's with a negative
three. That is negative, so it doesn't pass either.
You pee yourself. I mean, we already crit the
pants. Got to hit both. If it matters, it was
a critical fail. Oh, it matters. He horse peed
his pants. Jesus Christ. A horse peed in his
pants. No horses on this, because it's like a
random savior at the end of your turn. That'd
be weird at this point. Not going to force it.
I had my fun. But you Schrodinger's pee yourself.
You might have. Who knows? With that depressing,
unfortunate turn, I get to go. I want a good
turn this time. Now. Scimitar guy does not like
you. Sorry, Michael Scimitar does not like you,
Zebulon. But I can't get to you because there's
a turtle in the way. Thank goodness. So I'm going
to go for him. Come on, John. Tank, tank, tank.
Right beside him. Tank, tank. Oh, man. Yeah,
it just makes sense. I've got to go for him.
It would make more sense to go for Jules, but...
I've got to go for Jean. I want Zebulon. I want
Zebulon, but this guy's in the way. So he starts
charging towards you. Jean Franklin slides over,
steps in the way. This guy takes a scimitar,
swings out, and... Yes! It's a hit with a natty
18. Oh, yeah. Finally, something goes right for
me here. So that is going to be a hit. Roll some
damage. Oh, man. Pretty lame. Only three points
of damage. But you've got to roll a con save.
And that will do what real damage looks like.
Take my three points of damage. John Franklin
passed that last con save. Yeah. How lucky is
he going to get? He's got a plus two to his con
here. That's not bad. That's a 19. Yeah, fine.
Oh, I hate it. But he does pass. So, again, he
is slashed, and, like, his skin around the wound
begins to, like, puff up and swell up with, like,
veins kind of. thickening and then he just kind
of again just like flexes and you see it kind
of starts to smooth over like deflate and the
poison does not take hold and this figure once
again no actually I can't pop a vial he pops
a vial but he can't apply it yet in fact I can't
even pop a vial because I'm within range it's
going to be stupid to try to do it now he's just
going to keep on fighting oh I do have a second
attack of course you do that is going to hit
as well It's no longer poisoned, but it is going
to be decent damage. That is going to be eight
points of damage. Ooh, boy. Yeah. I'm right back
to where I started. So I just rather take another
second to take my range attack as well, but I
already fired the poison arrow. It's no fun in
it anymore. Get back to that later. All right,
cool. So he does some damage to you, and he is
standing tall. His weapon is no longer poisoned.
Now, I need, real quick, to look up the rules
for that. Dissonant Whispers. Actually, on that
note, I just realized something on that Dissonant
Whispers. I didn't roll advantage on my save.
What? I just had my save. Which save? The con
save from the snake. No, it's ability checks
and attack rolls, not saving throws. No, it is.
Well, let's settle this first. Or disadvantage.
Oh, did you roll, oh, use your inspiration? No,
saving throw the creature using bard, but you
didn't use your bardic inspiration die. Right.
I forgot about it. With inspiration. I'm sorry.
I forgot about the Bardic Inspiration with saving
throws. What does it do for me with a saving
throw? With a saving throw, you gain temporary
hit points equal to the Bardic Inspiration die
plus three. Okay. I'll use that. I think the
fact that you just forgot the Bardic Inspiration
die in general. But I fucked up Dissonant Whispers
a little bit because I didn't realize that I
had level one and level two Dissonant Whispers.
I cast Level 2 Dissonant Whispers, which adds
another 1d6 to damage for psychic damage. Okay.
All right. I will leave that up to you to decide
if I can add that now or not. I did cast it as
Level 2. You used a Level 2 slot. Go ahead and
add another d6. Okay. Nice. Thank you, Benevolent
DM. It's only a 1. Okay. Fuck me. Hey, sometimes
1 makes all the difference. Okay. Just make sure
you take that one off that damn snake. I don't
have, so I had to use my reaction to move away.
Yes. But actually, after that, it looks like
it's no longer affected, so it can now turn and
move back. Well, here's the issue, is the last
time we did Distant Whispers, we said the opposite.
I did. I didn't realize that was the case last
time. I just kind of looked more into it. So
it looks like it's not a continuous save. It's
a one -time save, and then it moves. as far as
it can with its reaction, which would be only
one action's worth, 30 feet. Basically, it gets
there, turns around, flies back, which makes
sense for a level one spell. That's fair. That's
fair. So the snake, after spooking that horse,
the horse goes running. Snake gets all excited
and starts chasing after it. Yeah. Yeah, it does.
A meal starts fleeing from it. It spins its head
around. And I'm not going to move my 30 feet.
I'm going to move 60 feet. Oh, no. It bursts
through the brush behind Chester. Are you shitting
me? Oh, shit! Jules! As this thing just rears
up above him. It followed the trace of the horse.
The horse is moving down to the south, long gone,
but a new prey has found itself in the gaze of
the serpent who rears back. But it cannot strike
now because it used everything. I will use my
bonus action to rattle, though. Oh, man, that's
bad news. Oh, it's so bad. I need a saving throw
from Chester and from Jules. Does he have any
modifier for this? What type of saving throw?
This is going to be a wisdom save. Chester. Is
the modifier the core stat? I want to make sure
he's not proficient. He's not. Okay, yeah, it's
core stat. Oh, my God. I'm negative two on wisdom.
Welcome to the negative. So Chester's plus two.
Jules is negative, too. Okay. You got to be shitting
me. Who are you riding first? Chester. 14 for
Chester. Chester sees this thing burst out, and
he looks absolutely terrified. He takes a step
back, and then you see, like, that same hardness
enter his features again. And of everyone here,
Chester, the 15 -year -old, the new warrior is
the one that stiffens his step. It looks just
fine. He's ready to go down. And Jules. 15. Jules
is fine. You see Chester in danger, and this
thing rings out. You feel that fear coursing
through you, and you don't fucking give a shit
because we weaponized Jules and Chester. I don't
give a shit. And maybe, just maybe, this rattlesnake's
about to learn. Hell yeah. That's all I can do.
I got up there, but that was my movement. It's
going to be you, Jules. Jules is going to cast
blindness and deafness. Oh, my God. On the snake.
Just crazy. What? Wisdom save, motherfucker.
Oh, please. I don't like this. I don't like this
at all. So if you fail this, I have to choose
between blindness and deafness, and it will be
blindness. Oh, my God. Do we get to know the
save before the roll? Nope. Okay. All right.
Nope. 90 -19. Oh, man. Fuck. Not even close.
Oh, sorry. It's a con save. And it doesn't matter.
It's still... God damn it. So, this thing, I
mean, what does it look like when you cast this?
Just so I know. I think a black smoke comes out
of Jules' hands and tries to engulf the face
of the snake. Oh, that's so cool. It, like, goes
right into its... Like, pushes itself right into
its eyes, and the snake just... Hisses, shakes
its head, and you see the smoke moves away. And
this thing is so mad. Man, that was a cool move,
though. And as a bonus action, I'm going to cast
Bardic Inspiration on Chester. Holy shit. Chester's
standing tall and strong, and you just light
him up, and this golden mote surrounds him. And
I think even in the face of this peril, Chester
smiles this nervous smile. He's ready to go.
All right. I've reapplied my arrow. I think these
two guys, this guy's going to run to the south.
towards the center of this plaza, past David
Bowie. He's going to run to the south, moving
deeper into the plaza. He's moving away from
where the rattlesnake is now engaged with Chester
and Jules, running past his ally, Michael Scimitar,
who's battling with Jean Franklin. And he's getting
a solid bead on Zebulon. And once again, he's
got poison on his arrow. He lifts it up to fire.
And misses again. Nice. Oh, my God. A different
fight. It twang. It was close. It was a seven
on the die. I know it's not going to hit you.
But it twings into the building beside you. And
you see, again, this little liquid running down
from where it sticks into the wood. I will fire
another arrow. Not poisoned. That will hit. For
three damage. Okay. I can take three. Yeah. Not
too terrifying. Not too exciting. Hey. It's something.
And from there, that's going to be your turn,
Zebulon. All right, so Zebulon leans back and
dodges out of the way of this arrow, looks across
the battlefield at Chester and Jules fighting
this snake. Hold on, Chester. We're coming. And
he centers himself and uses steady aim as a bonus
action. Okay, so I'm reminding you that you do
have bardic inspiration. Yeah. You don't have
to use it. I'm just going to remind you every
single time to make sure that you remember that
you have it. Do I have to elect to use it before
the roll? Or is it after the roll before the
result? Before the outcome. Okay. Yes. So I've
got advantage on this attack with the short bow.
I'm shooting at the guy who's in melee with Jaune.
Oh, okay. Let's see what the die says. Oh, it's
within five feet for that Bardic Inspiration
buff, though. You have to be within five feet
in order to use that attack buff. Oh, interesting.
Yeah. Oh, it's melee only. Interesting. Yeah.
Well, it's a good thing I have inspiration, because
the first was a 13. Ooh. Oh, no, the target and
each creature within five feet of it. So you
don't have to be within five feet of the creature.
Zebulon, you don't have advantage, though, because
the snake's within sight, and you're still frightened.
So it's evened out. Oh. Oh. You had advantage
from steady aim, but it was nullified by seeing
the snake and not passing that free air save,
so you only have a single shot, basically. Gotcha.
Okay, so the first roll was a 13. A 13. Hold
on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold
on. I'm going to use my Bardic Inspiration. Okay.
So that's an extra d6. Okay. That's 6, so that's
19 to hit. 19 to hit? Will hit. Okay. For sure.
And this creature is within five feet of an enemy,
so I get sneak attack damage. Hold on. Hold on.
You get the buff with the Bardic Inspiration
with the attack roll. The extra D6. So with the
attack roll, the target must also succeed on
a con saving throw or take thunder damage equal
to the number on the Bardic Inspiration die.
Wow. Which is six. So you have to succeed on
a con throw. I know the DC. Okay. All right.
It's cracked. And that is a 15. Fuck. All right.
Even without that, it's going to be pretty good.
With sneak attack damage, it's 3d6 plus 3. Holy
hell. Wow. Yeah, give me that damage. And this
is Michael Scimitar you're hitting, the one engaged
with Jean Franklin. He's currently locked with
him. You pull up. You shoot him in a vital spot
with that sneak attack bonus. This guy's already
hurting. All right, here we go. 3d6 plus three.
Wow. A two and two ones. So that's seven. Seven
damage with sneak attack. That really stinks.
It does stink. But also, what does it look like
when you kill? Oh, yes. This scout, I will say.
Excellent. The stat block of music. Because you
already hit this guy once with an arrow. He's
already bleeding from that. Yeah. So I'm going
to say that this next arrow just hits him in
the shoulder, and he just spins and falls face
first onto the ground. Okay. All right. So there's
one Neanderthal, one villain left, as well as
this rattlesnake. That's going to be Chester,
staring down the jaws of death. Just feet away
from these massive, fangs trained on him so what
i do here with chester is going to depend on
how we want to do this mechanically okay i'm
interested because he's been using a short bow
but he is now within melee range and he has a
warhammer I'll call switching an object to direct.
He basically, I'll just say he like slides the
bow, grabs the hammer. I'm not going to make
it into the nitty gritty. Perfect. Okay, because
then he's going to be wielding his warhammer
two -handed. Well, and like worst case scenario,
worst case scenario wouldn't nitty gritty just
be that he has to drop the bow on the ground?
Yeah, he can just drop the bow. Okay. I'm just
trying to play fair. Yeah, just trying to play
fair. He drops the bow, another horse runs out
and crashes it. God, broken. Cracked in half.
And then the... The string hits him in the eye.
There's an arrow knocked, and the horse perfectly
hits the bow, so the arrow stabs Chester in the
chin. Brutal. Okay, so let me just... Okay, so
Chester is going to take out his war hammer,
wielding it with two hands. Okay. And he is going
to go for it. I don't think I have to use Bardic
Inspiration, because that's a 22. Or a 21. Sorry.
That's pretty damn good. That's going to hit.
So because... He is wielding it with two hands.
Instead of 1d8, it is 1d10 plus 1. Oh, that's
nice. Roll this pretty d10. I will roll. Oh,
the beautiful. That's the, like, white rose.
Come on. This was meant to be. This one's for
Miskin. He just swings it out. Nine. Nine damage.
I'll take it. Wow. Not bad. And for the first
time, as a snake, unless a snake actually snaps
down towards him with its mouth, and Chester
just takes his hammer, swings out, cracks it
right on the side of the head, and sends his
mouth, like, veering off to the side, just missing
by this bite, and it sort of slides back up,
hissing. A little snake blood fly out of its
mouth. Oh, hell yeah. Damn straight. Oh, so good.
So good. Chester just draws a hair back, looking
bold as hell. That's going to be Jean. Still
frightened. Again, did I make my save at the
end of my turn? You didn't. You did not. We killed
the guy and we moved on. We're so bad at this.
I killed a guy and forgot my save again. Let
me roll Zebulon's wisdom save at minus three.
I didn't even need to pull up the sheet. It's
time to remember it. You did! No, I started to.
Okay. But it was a fail. All right. It was a
nine. Shocker. Zebulon, your knees are knocking
together. Now Jaune's save with a plus two. He
has to do his turn first. From last turn? I think
he did it last turn. Did he make his save last
turn? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he did,
yeah. Oh, no, yeah, because you forgot last time,
too, and you rolled both of them at the same
time. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, so he
can't move closer to... Cannot. Huh. It's rough.
This is rough. Yeah, I guess what he'll do is
he'll step between Zebulon and David Bowie to
take up a defensive position. All right. And
you have one option, I will tell you. It's a
risky one. I know. Okay, cool. You know what
it is? Fine. Yeah, I do. It just doesn't... It
doesn't make sense in the fight for him to be
like, oh, I'm going to go super defensive and
just drop on the ground and hide in my shell.
That's actually not my option I was thinking
of. Oh, what were you thinking of? His spear,
as all spears do, has the thrown property. You
could throw the weapon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. I mean, he's our tank. Right. Well, but
he won't give up any AC by throwing. He'll just
lose his weapon until he gets it back. Right.
He only has the one spear. Yeah, that's true,
but if he can't walk any closer, then he's no
good with or without it, I suppose. Okay, yeah,
it's the same to hit. It's a plus three to hit,
so sure. John will move, and then he'll go ahead
and throw his spear at David Bowie. With a Y.
That's a 13. 13? Just hit. Oh, wow. Thank goodness.
Oh, my God. Thank goodness. I really did not
want to lose that spear for nothing. So that's
a D6 plus one. Which D6 has been behaving? None
of these. No, let's throw all these in jail.
Yeah, you can put those in jail. Our dice jail
is going to fill up real fast. Yep. That's the
fun thing about our show. Oh, that's a five,
right? Yeah. Nice. So six damage. Six damage.
Okay. Not bad at all. So he's got his bow raised
up and trained again. And all of a sudden just
spear just ruffs into him. You guys are playing
the range game against David Bowie. And maybe,
just maybe, you're winning. Next would be the
other villain who is now dead on the ground.
I'll say dying. I'll make saves for them. I'm
going to start making that more of a standard
practice in this campaign. Just to make it harder.
Partially yes and partially because as superheroes,
if a fight cleans up, you might want the option
to potentially restore people. Okay, fair. Yeah.
And send them to 15 life sentence prison. As
Batman would, yes. Woof. Oh, brutal. So that
means it's my turn. Now you guys saved against
the rattle already. At this point, there's no
point in me doing it anymore because once you
save, you save. For the day. That's it. Okay.
Oh, go ahead and make your save. I'm rolling
Jaune's save right now. Make your save, Jaune.
That's a dirty 19. As the spear plows through
him, you see Jaune Franklin shrugs off his fear.
He's got his eyes trained towards a snake. He's
ready to run into the fray. That's very useful.
That's very good to know. Because now, zooming
across the plaza, past Jules, right in front
of Chester, the snake rears back to strike. Don't
you roll that dice. What? Two buttons for disadvantage.
Oh. Oh. All right. All right. Okay. That's a
really good move. That's a solid, solid move.
What's Chester's AC? Because of that move. Oh,
that's a great move. Right? Give me another D20.
Let me find the worst one. How dare you? All
right. You get the chunky one from the jail.
Two D20s dropped into this dice roller. Hold
on. I'm going to make a reel out of this. Yeah,
this is going to be good Instagram content. I'll
tell you right now. This thing could very possibly
drop Chester down in one hit. A crit? We're looking
at a Chester stain on the ground. Shit, I shouldn't
have said his AC. Did you already forget what
it was? No, you know what it is. Oh, I can see
it. Hey, this is a gentleman's game of trust.
Didn't we just discuss this earlier? He's got
access. He's got access. And here we go. Neither
of them hit. Well, one of them. Well, he's got
a big plus. He's got a big plus, so that's going
to be an 11 to hit. Nope. Not a 14. Nope. So,
again, this thing snaps down. Excellent use of
the double button. Yeah, Chester would have been
down if I didn't use it. Just for the sake of
it, do you want to roll damage to see what it
would have been on Chester? I mean, the answer
to that question also depends on whether he would
pass a very, very important Constitution statement.
Okay, we don't have to get too into it. But yeah,
I'll say this. Chester smashes this thing in
the head the last turn, and as a snake like whirls
back around to strike at him, it's still like
dizzy. It launches forward, and Chester kind
of steps backwards. The snake's head's still
scrambled, smashes into some crates beside of
him, its mouth filled with them, and they break
in its mouth, and it turns around again, screaming.
I still feel like this was a loss because I was
really hoping for a natural one and for a bunch
of horses to come and trap the fucking snake.
So many horses. How many buttons is that? It's
still facing Chester down. He's still standing
strong. Jules, that's going to be you to end
the round. What are you going to do? Jules is
going to move to the snake. Moving right up to
it, huh? Moving right up to it. I'm going to
cast Inflict Wounds. Oh, shit. Okay. All right.
Your hands reach out, snap out, and touch it.
I have to get at least a 13. I think his AC is
13. Right? Oh, no, that was the other guy. Holy
crit. Fail. A crit fail. Yep. Natural one. Yeah.
We'll call it there.