Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening.
I don't know when you're listening, so I'm gonna
say all three of those just so you can't say
that I got it wrong. Jeremy here. Just popping
in before episode eight to ask that if you like
what you're hearing and you're having a blast
like we are, please go and leave us a rating
and review on whatever platform you're listening
on. We're trying to build a robust community
here of fellow nerds and fellow fun seekers,
and ratings and reviews help us immensely in
climbing the ladder of visibility, so to speak.
We want to thank you so, so much for your continued
listenership. We appreciate you more than you
know. Fantasy pants. does not exist without each
and every one of you, so I guess you could say
that you all are the real heroes of this story.
And without further ado, I'm going to shut the
fuck up, and we're going to get into Episode
8 of Fantasy Pants. Enjoy! Storyteller Orin here,
looking to fill you in on the latest excitement
to befall our heroes. After storming away from
the rather skeevy luminary agent named Rune Rusong,
our luminaries took a turn towards criminality
to see their goals met. After spending the day
at Zebulon's stepmother's, the two snuck back
into Rune's office and claimed many a prize.
A recording diamond. filled with footage of their
exploits on Tithos. Two writs of passage to the
world of Sosunko. A map of a place known as the
Densing Night Market. And finally, a potential
ally in the registered total sidekick, John Franklin.
Having pulled off their burglary, the two flee
the scene of the crime. But what is it they must
seek out in the world of Sosunko? Well... We'll
just have to wait and see. Well. So it's John
Franklin? You said it pretty hard, Juh. Yeah,
you did. He says it weird in the accent. John
Franklin, then. Look, I didn't say anything.
Storyteller Oren said it wrong, all right? Bring
up that guy. He's fired. Yeah, well. He's fired.
We have no way of knowing what's going on anymore.
It's true. It's true. All right. Hey, Steven.
David. Focus. I'm here. No banter. Sorry. No
distractions. We got a lot to get through. You're
still on the Radiant Citadel. Episode 17? 20?
Close. 26? 69. Yeah, just about. And you're still
here. That's eight, right? That's eight. We barely
even scratched the surface of the book. This
is eight. Yeah, it's eight. Eight. Eight episodes
too many in which you're still alive. So. Hopefully
we last a lot longer than eight. We almost didn't
last two. Right. I understand the character death
lurks around every corner, but yeah, let's get
through episode eight at least. All right. I'd
like that. We'll try. We'll get through it. I'm
sure the listeners would like that too. We ought
to touch base on a couple things before we really
get into it. First of all, I apologize everyone
for my. Terrible audio this week. I'm a bit under
the weather. But we are trying to meet a strict
timetable, so we're doing this anyway. Because
you know what? We're into it. We're having fun.
So, yeah. It's all for you guys. All for you
guys. Jeremy's going to have so much fun editing
this voice this week. And you look worse than
you sound. I'm just kidding. First of all, I
have a bit of an announcement. We are going to
have, and this is pretty exciting because, you
know, we are super fledgling, our first guest
star next week. Yeah, this is really exciting.
It's so exciting. Yeah, I'm pretty stoked. It's
going to be awesome. So look forward to hearing
Stomp on this. If you're aware of the Sounds
Like a Search and Rescue podcast, basically a
podcast discussing search and rescue efforts
and hiking in the White Mountains. It's fantastic.
Really cool energy. And Stomp is such a cool
guy. We're talking about luminaries and heroes
here. Now, there's a local luminary for you all.
Dedicates so much time and effort to search and
rescue. And Stephen here actually is a big part
of the search and rescue for the Pemiduasset
Valley. So really cool stuff. Definitely look
those guys up. You can find them if you search
for – sounds like a search and rescue podcast
or S -L -A -S -A -R. If you search that on your
podcatcher, they should come up. Hell yeah. And
next week, get ready to meet Stomp as we throw
him into our crazy world with us. He has no idea
what's coming. No idea. It is going to be a blast.
I think he's just as excited as we are, though.
We've been texting back and forth with him, and
he's pretty stoked. So he's got his character
rolled up, and yeah. Yeah, I can't wait. I can't
wait. It's going to be a blast. Yep. Hell yeah.
My other plug I need to bring up here, we discussed
this last time, and we've pretty much, at this
point, lifted the veil here on the fact that
we're going to be using sidekicks in this campaign.
We have two player characters, and I intend to
run them through the gauntlet, so to speak. So
I have given them both sidekick options. Jules
Laroche, as we've seen, has chosen Chester to
be his sidekick. And we'll get to that in a moment
because Chester, just so you know, has leveled
up. Hell yeah. Excellent. He's now going to be
a level two sidekick. He's basically playing
a sort of ranger archetype sidekick. Perfect.
Sort of off screen, we had some discussions,
and Jean Franklin was chosen of the three brigands
that attacked to be Zebulon's sidekick. That's
why last session, he's sort of out in the world
now to be grabbed up and join our quest at some
point. So I need to take a moment here to...
Shout out to Paul Metzger from DMs Guild because
I was using his sidekicks essentials. What would
the word be? Add -on? Sure. Yeah, add -on works.
Thank you, Paul. Yeah, thank you, Paul. Really
cool stuff. Check out DMs Guild if you're a dungeon
master who wants to freshen up the game. Normally
sidekicks come in three different flavors and
there's just not a lot to them. Paul Metzger
gives you a bunch of new options and they're
generally kind of more simplified versions of
the various classes. It's very fun, very cool.
Yeah, when you had mentioned sidekicks, I had
never really dealt with a sidekick, so I didn't
know that there were just those three very basic
forms of sidekick. And immediately my mind went
to, oh, great, maybe I'll choose a paladin class
that would work really well with Zebulon. So
when a paladin showed up as a choice, that was
my immediate pick. Hell yeah, hell yeah. And
stay tuned, because we might see those two other...
Two other runes goons at some point. Yeah, I
don't think we're done with those assholes. Nope.
They've now become. I don't believe so. I think
we've automatically made some. We've made some
enemies. Some enemies. Yeah. Or people that just
aren't going to leave us the fuck alone. Right.
Trying to get famous off us. Yeah, an enemy and
rune. I'm not super looking forward to that,
but I think we both did what we needed to do
to play our characters. I think we're going to
have a good time here tonight on Fantasy Pants.
And with that, I think it's time we. Switch gears.
You know, jump right back in and see where our
characters are at. So last we left off, you guys
found the diamond. You went into an alley. You
go and you sort of play it. So you're looking
into the facet of this diamond. You're watching
the footage of these events that occurred. You
see your heroic exploits during the tragedy of
Tythos, during the storm. Actually, I forgot
to mention, you even see, following it all up,
the moment you two meet. in the Sapphire. Basically,
you think that any footage of you guys during
the events has been transferred to this diamond,
which means only this diamond holds this footage.
Now, in order for this to see being broadcast
to the larger network as a whole, you need to
find a way to get... people in the Citadel, in
the Auroral Diamond, there's like a whole network
inside that can essentially upload footage and
broadcast them out. That's where you see characters
like Storyteller Orin, all this stuff, different
news networks and such. There's like one channel
that all worlds share, and you're going to need
to find a way to get that out. Now, Rune seemed
to imply that he had a means for you to do this.
And when you go to his office, you found these
papers to go to Sapsunko. You find the map of
Dinsing Night Market, and the implication that
the tortle Jean Franklin gave you was that Rune
had a plan for you there, and he knows the plan.
So your objective now is to get to the Dinsing
Night Market on the world of Sapsunko. This is
the first time you've ever really traveled between
worlds, and I guess in a way that, like, isn't
just going to the city of El Zebulon. You went
to Tithos once, and it was just... insanity,
calamity. You never had a moment to really just
think about the fact that this is your first
time off -world. Right. And Jules, you may have
gone to the Citadel, but there's 24 other worlds
out there that aren't yours. Are we trying to
take what he was trying to get us to do out from
under him and just do it ourselves without his...
That's the impression I got. Is that what's happening?
Well, we've at least cut him out. So, yeah, you
know, you know, you know, John Franklin knows
what he wants you to do there. And if he had
some kind of in for you into like the fame and
fortune of a luminary lifestyle. Well, the path
starts on some Sunco. I'm not sure that Zebulon
is smart enough to know what we're doing at some
Sunco. But I know that he's like, OK, we've got
this map and we've got these rits. He sees an
opportunity. Right. Yeah. He's just kind of like
following the puzzle pieces. If anybody's going
to be doing any thinking ahead and like, hey,
man, we got a plan for this, it's probably not
going to be Zebulon. And beyond following the
puzzle pieces, this is also the only piece you
have. It's the only direction you have to go
because unless you get a full passport, which
only can happen if you become luminaries or some
other sort of dignitary, you need a writ to go
between worlds. They don't just allow free passage
between all different worlds because, of course,
that would just be chaos. So when we go there.
it's basically a one -way ticket, at least for
the immediate time. You can get back. I think
going to the Citadel is basically something you
could do. Freebie? Yeah, I think they will monitor
traffic between worlds. Certain worlds are going
to be real careful about who they send in. It's
like getting a passport in real life, but you've
got to be someone who can earn a passport. Zebulon,
you may have a chance, but your family might
also get in the way. But Jules, on your own world,
you're... Well, let's face it, you're a criminal.
You're blacklisted, Jules. Yep, you're pretty
blacklisted. You're going to have a really hard
time. But I digress. Here we are. You've just
seen this footage, and you know what there's
to do next. What do you guys do now? Well, we've
got to find a place to stay the night. I don't
know where's the safe place anymore. I don't
know what to think about anybody. I mean, do
you think it's safe to go back? To see Xena?
Seems like it might be the safest place, yeah.
I mean, there's a chance that somebody will come
looking for me there. But we can't stay out on
the street, right? How would she feel about a
little more company than just the three of us?
What are you talking about? I don't know if I
want to leave my friends out in the cold either.
Well, I mean... I guess if that's where we're
going to go, then we can sure ask her. Out of
character. I have no idea where the fuck to go.
I haven't the slightest clue. It's hard. I mean,
like, you have a place at the Palace of Exile,
but... That doesn't feel safe. No, not at all.
Xena's doesn't really feel safe. There really
isn't anywhere that is truly safe. That's the
problem here. I mean, Xena... Xena can take care
of herself, but Xena's also not exactly a trustworthy
ally in her own way. Not out of any sort of spite,
but she's just a little off, you know? Well,
David, how much gold would Zebulon have on him?
Huh. Well, how much gold do you have as a starting
character? I mean, like, you're more dealing
with what they give you for... An allowance?
Yes. You get an allowance. You're not really
in charge of your own money. Starting character
gold, I've got 25 gold. Damn. All right. Wow.
I think I did that right. Yeah, yeah. Take your
25 gold. What do you want to do with it? So Zeb
will pull a couple coins out of his pocket. I
guess we could try to use this. And what does
Zebulon know about the area as far as like a
place to rent beds or something like that? Interesting.
Okay. So you guys are currently... probably around
the Court of Whispers, around the Great Iron
Doors, the Preserve of the Ancestors, all that's
sort of clustered together. There's a main road,
like a thoroughfare, that runs through this area
and kind of runs, spans all the way down the
spiral, known as the Trade Discal. This is where,
basically, you're going to see a lot of trade
between different worlds and a lot of, like,
touristy stuff, so to speak. If somebody wants
to get, like, the mini experience of a world,
but not go all the way. you're going to find
a little bit of everything from everywhere on
the Trade Discall. And you'll also find a couple
different inns, themed inns and such. Surely
you can find something, you know. Okay. Well,
give me a name of a place. All right. Let's say...
You monster. Who's on the spot now? Oh, my gosh.
I'm so... This is a bad date. I'm so sleep deprived,
you monster. We're walking down the street. We're
trying to find a place to stay. And we come across.
Come across. The pale. Damn it. Moonlight. Pale
moonlight. I hate it. Pale moonlight in. I hate
it so much. That's terrible. No, the pale moonlight
in. We're going with it. The rusty wagon. I didn't
think we were going to go in this direction.
So, are we staying at the pale moonlight inn
or the rusty wagon? I think we're staying at
the rusty moonlight inn. Oh, let's check. We
should check TripAdvisor first. So your intention
is to stay at an inn here. You do have the gold
to pay for one. Just trying to think this through,
because are you bringing the cherry delights?
Like, are you getting a bunch of rooms? Are you
going to leave them in the Palace of Exile? If
I can afford it, I want to get them a room. Why
don't you go get your friends? I don't know if
I can. Why don't you go get your friends, and
we'll see if we can stay at a place like this.
Well, I'll go in, and I'll check the place out.
I'll see what it looks like, see how many beds
they have. How many friends are you bringing?
Apart from me and Chester, we got six. Oh, six.
Yeah. Kind of inseparable. Inseparable? Yeah.
Yeah, we're tight. We're like a good family,
you know? Zeb's like counting his coins. How
much gold do you guys have? I got the... I got
25. Okay. So a normal starting amount of gold?
Normal level one. Chester, how much gold do you
have? I'm flat broke. Oh. I got nothing. I share
it with the big guy here. Your six friends? Are
they all broke? Most likely. Well, hopefully
there's bunk beds. You know, generally speaking,
a room overnight and then plus like a meal is
going to cost you one gold. Okay. Per night.
And that's for like, probably like a bed? Two
beds? Honestly, if I can get a room for the six
of them, it'll be good. Actually, strike that.
The eight of us. Some interesting friends you've
got there. I think you got this wrong, Zeb. Alright,
let me go get the gang. We'll come back here
and then we'll figure it out. Alright, I'll go
inside. The pale moonlight in, I guess. We're
going with that. My brain is so fried. I simply
cannot think of a name. I simply cannot. I don't
know. You put both of us on the spot last week,
so. Yeah. You monsters. I did not expect an inn
to happen when you have, like, multiple places
to sleep. You should just cut to tomorrow. I
don't know. Steven makes a good, or Zebulon makes
a good point. That makes sense. I mean, right
now, it's either we stay at an inn away from
any place where we would go. Or we just use our
writs and get the fuck out of there. Right. Because
not only is your family going to be looking for
you. I mean, Zebulon doesn't necessarily know
that. But Zebulon isn't probably like, oh, yeah,
I'm going to go sleep on the floor at the refugee
place. Sure. Right. He also doesn't want to sleep
on the street. So Zebulon is just thinking, I
need a place to sleep. But meta -wise, his family
is probably out looking for him. Your family's
out looking for you. And now we're criminals.
Yep. I mean, like... Well, we're criminals and
we got... Who knows how many people he knows.
Right. Yep. He's just spreading the fucking word.
I should note one more thing, actually. While
you are... One thing you'll notice, Jules, you
would have caught on to this in Zebulon. You've
been here forever. The rural diamond itself,
it's... You see many sort of smaller facets of
this diamond all over the place, sort of chaotically
spread around, and these giant sort of facets
can each kind of act almost as a different screen
here. Now, you'll see a number of them will showcase
kind of in the sky above you at all times, like
images from the crystal network. You can look
up, and like I said, as long as you see the image,
you can hear it. So you'll see like... Storyteller
Oren, or some talk show, or some news event from
a different world, anything like that is always
sort of playing in the background. But some of
these facets also show, like you'd see at an
airport, for instance, arrival and departure
times for the conquered jewels. Because there's
a set time each day that each jewel might come
down, dock at the passage of respite, that sort
of great crescent sort of... docking bay at the
top of the Citadel and then depart, you know,
maybe an hour afterwards, give people time to
load, you know that the Ruby Conqueror Jewel,
the one connected to Sipsanko, will next be departing
at noon the following day. Okay, so that gives
us just enough time. We can have a good night's
rest. We can lay low and get to the Ruby for
Sipsanko. Right? Yeah, that sounds about right.
Okay. I'm a little worried about actually being
able to get there and bored. Well, I guess we'll
cross that bridge when we come to it, but we're
still talking even though you already said and
I already said that we split off. Right, right.
Okay. Yes, hang up your cell phones. Now we're
splitting off. We're like shouting across the
road. And break. They're just so far away from
each other. It's the middle of the night. He's
like, shut up out there. We're trying to plan
our trip to Shevchenko. So, all right. Debulon,
you're moving around. You're trying to find an
inn you can stay at. And I think actually you
go to the first few places, given the late hour
and the fact that this is the Radiant Citadel
and that a lot of people, here's the thing, right?
A lot of people had money when they left Tithos.
And they didn't want to stay in the Palace of
Exile. So a lot of inns are totally booked full.
I think you're actually working your way all
the way down to the very end of the trade disc,
going from inn to inn and just seeing no vacancy,
no vacancy, no vacancy. Everything is booked
solid. But you do see one at the very, very end
called the Ugly Coyote. Who would name a business
the Ugly Coyote? You know, it doesn't look like
someone who... Who takes very good care of their
business, I'll tell you that. You look up and
see. But you don't think that they want to at
least put on a good front? They're just like,
hey, you know what? I know what we are. No, that's
it. But they know what they are. Their clientele
is a certain kind of person. The kind of person
that likes the idea of an inn called the Ugly
Coyote. I mean, you can at least be like the
Pretty Coyote. Right. Or the Coyote Inn. Yeah.
But I mean, you see a pretty, pretty like...
You know, pretty scarred, pretty barren looking
building. There's a guy out front with an eye
patch. Absolutely there is. Smoking a cigar,
his arms just loaded with fucking arm hair. Nice.
Yeah. And tattoos. Oh, yeah. Tattoos everywhere.
But if he's got so much arm hair, can you see
the tattoos? Yeah. We need these details, David.
You can see the underside of his arms. He shaves
his arms around the tattoos. Bam. Gotcha. Okay.
That's cool. That sounds like an ugly coyote.
Anyway. So you just can see there's this sign
above the end that's just like this coyote with
big snaggled teeth and patches of hair. But one
of the chains is broken, so it's hanging diagonally.
Oh, absolutely. It's probably on purpose. And
the chain's rusty. You look at this and you're
like, okay, well, this is my only option. So
I'll make it that way you will. But that is where
you can stay this night. All right. Zeb's going
to walk into the... Ugly coyote in. This has
been worse than the sapphire seat discussion.
You walk over and open like a saloon -style door.
Of course. That's what they sound like when they...
I'm so tired. You walk inside the main part of
the inn. You see, even though it's like the middle
of the night, there's still two or three people
in the corners of the room just very sadly drinking
themselves into a stupor. Oh, yeah. I get you.
It is like cheap whiskey. It's rank in here.
Just sweat, cheap whiskey, and tobacco. Just
smashes your nose the second you open those seesaw
doors. And there's a dog with mange on the floor
in front of the fireplace. A coyote with mange
on the floor. You fool. All right. Does Zebulon
see anybody who looks like a proprietor? You
do see someone up behind the bar. Just really...
Real big, real burly guy. It's because he had
an eye patch. We already gave a guy an eye patch.
No, no, he's got an eye patch on the other eye.
He's got an ear patch. And a peg leg. Hell yeah.
You see he's kind of wearing this sort of rustic
looking overalls, dark skin, very big rugged
black beard of just coarse, coarse hair and shaved
head. And he's just kind of scowling in your
direction when you walk in. I mean. You look
so out of place in this establishment. It is
ridiculous. All right, well, Sebulon wants nothing
more than to fit in. Oh, this will be good. So
he's going to go up to the bar, lean with one
arm. Oh, my God. Point to the patron at the other
end of the bar. I'll have what he's having. The
guy just like looks at you, gets real close.
You smell like his own whiskey breath. Like,
yo, just so close. It's hot in your face. He's
just, you sure about that, boy? And Zebulon takes
out, what's a drink cost? Like a copper or silver
or something like that? Here, probably a copper.
Okay, so Zebulon will take out a silver and put
it down on the bar. That's for my tab. I got
friends coming. They might be thirsty too. All
right. Oh, hell, okay. He just kind of, there's
a quick nod. It's like, all right, well, hope
you like it strong. As he's pouring the drink,
Zebulon will kind of start to make conversation.
We're looking to... We're looking to stay the
night. That's so... God damn it, Steven. I was
like... I was like, all right, we're going to
fucking book it. We're going to get through this
session. We're going to get all three idiots
to stand out. And then fucking Zebulon's in a
bar, and I don't know what to do. It's okay.
You can speed it up. God. No, I can't. This is
gold. All right. Really? That's so. We'll bring
someone back. God damn it, Steven. I can't look
you in the face right now. Do you want to pause
it for like two minutes? Yes, my stomach hurts.
Get composure. God. Oh, my God. We're back. And
she looks at you. Again, you're smelling this
hot whiskey breath. What brings someone like
you into my own fine establishment? Well, we
find ourselves a lot of places to stay tonight.
Thought this would fit the bill. So do you think
you have a place? I reckon I might. What's that
going to cost us? For you, friend, I'll say a
gold or rum. Looks like you might be good for
it. Just kind of eyeing your fine stud leather
armor and little swords at your hip. What's your
name, friend? You can call me Ader. Ader? How
many can we squeeze in a room? Depends on how
comfortable you want to be. Rooms are large enough.
Could probably fit four per. How about I give
you two gold now and we'll see what happens.
Alrighty. I'll take two rooms. I'll take two
gold. Let me just flux them from you. You got
a drink in front of you. You want to hit it?
Yeah, well, I guess my friends aren't here yet,
so bottom of the cup. He looks at you and he
looks at the drink and he's like, you gonna take
it? He's just like watching expectantly and kind
of excitedly to see how you handle this. Oh,
yeah. Letting it breathe. Alright. Yeah. Takes
a drink. All right, give me a constitution saving
throw. Oh, Jesus. It's plus zero, by the way.
Spoiler alert. Oh, hey, that's a 16. Wow. Zebulon,
you hold it well. You just pound this thing down.
It tastes like liquid hell. I imagine you take
this in, and there's a little bit of fire breath.
That was too much cough for a 16, though. I mean,
you're still Zebulon. All right. But he's not
wrong. So, yeah, you actually take that in. And
I think Ayer kind of looks at you, almost looks
impressed, nods, and moves down the bar to help
the other patrons. That guy's pounding around
asking for a drink. And I think some time passes.
You're just hanging out. And the doors, saloon
doors, that's what they sound like. And Jules
walks in with a bunch of children. in this establishment,
which seems like a good idea. It's a fantastic
idea. I'm going to say that Zebulon's face is
probably just as surprised as, what was the barkeep's
name again? Arn? Ader. Yeah, as I walk in, I
just kind of walk in and just kind of look around
frantically. Ah, there you are. There you are.
Okay. Hey, Zap. Zap. Oh, hey, guys. Oh. Hey,
guys. So you're just met by this pile of children,
essentially. I didn't realize you had kids, Jules.
What? Are these all your kids? Round Stuff, the
little tiefling girl, just jumps forward like,
yep, yeah, we are. What? Right? These are my
pals, my best friends. Yeah, we're kids and we're
his. Well, I'm Zebulon. All right, Zebulon, let
me introduce you. All right, well, you know Chester
right here. How you doing? Catching. Over here,
we got Fibro. Hey, how's it going? You see this
half -elf, very tall, very lanky. Fibro. We got
Mulligan's Folligan. A little copper -skinned
dwarf with a blonde, wispy beard who says, Oh,
hey, do they serve food here in this establishment?
Or Mully? Fully? Close enough. Close enough,
yeah. Got Paul. Oh, that was Paul. Yeah, small,
human, very vague expression. Small Paul. I think
he's nine years old. Just says, hi. Hi, hi, Paul.
Small Paul. Miskin's somewhere. I'm sure you'll
meet them at some point. At that point, you peek
up in the doorway and just like, in the doorway,
in the shadows, you see the green -skinned little
half -orc boy just like peek in, scan the room,
nod, and just kind of... Vanish. Hey, buddy.
Vanish. And this here is Roundstuff. Little tiefling
in a rabbit onesie, just, hi, oh my gosh, hi,
your name is Zebulon? Uh, yeah. I don't know
what you are, but you're a lizard, right? Hi,
Roundstuff. Uh, almost. Wow, you have nice wings.
Do they do anything? Uh, no, no, no. Nice to
meet you, Roundstuff. Wow, yeah. I really apologize
for bringing all this right to your doorstep.
It was a good thing I had a drink. Hello, folks.
Future Jeremy here, unfortunately, once again.
In all the zaniness of this little end scene
here, I completely spaced out and forgot to introduce
Jeans. I am so ashamed. So, uh, what, are you
able to get us a room? You want me to pitch in
a bit? I'm not sure what's going on here. We
got two rooms. He said that we could probably
squeeze four in a room. I mean, we only need
one room. That's plenty big. Oh, thank goodness.
I want to stay with Zebulon. No, let's... But
I want to stay with Zebulon. Let's give Zebulon
his space. Oh, thank goodness. I know this is
a little overwhelming. Zebulon's down the bar.
Just give him his space. One more, please. Yeah,
I mean, I think if you all... I don't know if
you guys stay and drink at all or if you head
right to sleep. It's already very late. You know
you have to be out of here at noon. Jules is
going to pound one. Okay. Give me a con save.
It's going to shape your tomorrow. Sabion, you
won another one. Give me another con save. Ah,
son of a... Yeah, you said it. I did. Too late
now. I'm not backing out now. I'm not going to
back out in front of Ada. Are you kidding me?
I got a nat 20. Oh, my gosh. I got a four. Zebulon
is, he takes a second one, and now it's like
that first one didn't quite hit you, but now
it all hits you at once. Okay. Drunk Zebulon.
Great. Probably fall off your stool. Great. This
will be fun. Chester is clapping. He's delighted.
Like, oh, Jules, you see this? I'm really glad
to have you on the room now. I didn't think I
was going to like these kids so much. I got to
tell you. You kids are all right, though. Who
was it that wanted to stay in Zug's room? Roundstuff.
Roundstuff is all over you right now. She's just
like, did you hear that? And she's playing with
her tail. Did you hear that? Did you hear that?
All right, Roundstuff, go ahead. Go ahead. Go
ahead. I'm kind of scared of this one, but...
Can I call you Uncle Zeb? Oh, my goodness. Wow.
Uncle Zeb. I never had an uncle before. Did you
know that? Yeah. What? What? Can you just...
Round stuff. Can I call you stuff? I would be
honored. Stuff, can you just take me to get some
sleep? Yeah. Okay. I'll tell you all about my...
I made a story today. Zebulon's not really listening,
but he's... It's about a princess who meets a
star. I'll tell you all about it on the way up.
Leaning a pretty considerable amount of weight
on round stuff. So yeah, you're just like being
pulled upstairs by this little tiefling who's
taking you to your room. Actually, I'm curious
about this. Chester looks over at your drink.
He's like, Jules, want to get me one of those?
Hey, bye. One more. He pours you one. Chester
takes a... I'm going to just... I slide it over
a little slowly, a little cautiously. I don't
know if you can handle this, but there you go.
He crushes it, actually. Oh, my God. He just,
boom, drinks it. He's just like, ooh, wow. I
haven't had one of those in a while. The 13 -year
-old child hasn't had one of those in a while.
That was nasty. You missed it. This is fantasy.
Yeah. Fantasy pants does not condone underage
drinking. Also, the night draws on. Have you
told them yet, Jules, that you're intending to
leave on the morrow? No. I think I'm waiting
until the morning. Okay. I think Chester... I
kind of want to have one night with them. I think
where everything's normal, everything's fine.
Yeah, they're all just having a good time. They
probably got some food. You know, Ader probably
wasn't really prepared to run the kitchen, but...
And I think most of the time, I'm not really
talking all that much. I think I'm just observing
and watching and smiling. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
Yes, you're just watching. Mulligan gets a big
plate full of probably older, I think it's probably
cold meats and breads and such, but he's just
powering them, going crazy. He's been living
off rations for a few days now. He is delighted.
You see Fibro's just going over his notes again.
He managed to accrue a little bit more while
he was here. He's actually spoken to a few mages
from Offworld, and he's been doing some of his
own research. He's very, very excitable. Nice.
Roundstuff's upstairs, of course. Paul just kind
of vacantly sitting next to Fibro and just seems
happy, seems to be enjoying himself. I'm curious
how Chester's doing. Chester is interesting.
Chester looks a little troubled. He knows that
you're planning on leaving tomorrow. He knows
that he's planning on going with you. And you
see he keeps on looking a few stools down. where
Jeans is sitting and looking away. She's kind
of just passively, you know, sitting, and she
looks pretty solemn. You know, a lot of bad stuff's
been going down lately. Maybe she doesn't really
know what's coming here, but... What you think
about, Justin? Huh? Oh, nothing, nothing, Jules.
Come on. We've known each other long enough.
What you thinking about? We're planning on going
tomorrow, right? Yeah, I think so. Off world.
You know I can't leave you. I'm going to be there
with you. I don't know how we're going to make
it work. I don't have a writ. But we'll find
a way, right? We'll get you there. I don't want
to go anywhere without you. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
And you see he smiles, and the smile kind of
seems to falter a little bit. It's not forever.
I know, I know. We'll be back quick. I worry,
you know? I know, me too. They'll be okay, right,
Jules? I think so. I think so. And we gotta do
this, yeah? For them. We gotta... And he just
looks right over at Jeans, and I think this time
she kind of notices and looks at him quizzically,
and he just turns his gaze away really fast.
We gotta do this. Chester. Yeah? You know everything
I do. It's all for you and them. Every single
thing. I know. I'm always going to back you up,
Jules. You can count on me. I know. I know. And
you just kind of sit there quietly for a while.
As the night draws on. Until everyone... starts
to go up to their rooms or their room and just
fall asleep. I'm not going to sleep. No? No.
I'm just going to sit there in the room. All
right. You know what? I have an idea for that
then. I'll drink a beer first though. Yeah, I
need to sip a beer after that. Jules, you...
Everyone else falls asleep. Everyone goes up.
I think the last one to go is Chester, except
for Jeans, who's still just sitting a few stools
down. And he gets up awkwardly, walks past her,
stops for a second. He wants to say something,
and then just keeps going. Goes up the stairs
and vanishes. Once he's gone, Gene looks over
at you, and at this point in the night, it is
late, late, late. Ader's staring at you like,
guys, what are you doing? And Gene sort of steps
off her stool, moves down to the one right beside
you, and just looks you in the eyes and says,
are you going to tell me what's going on, or
do I have to figure it all out myself? There's
no hiding nothing from you. No. I'll just come
out straight with it then. Chester and I have
to... We've got to be someplace in the morning.
And it's not here. She stares at you for a long
while, eyes narrowing a little bit. She just
purses her lips like she's thinking really hard
and says, This place, is it dangerous? Probably.
Why are you taking Chester? Jules, you can take
her yourself. I've seen it. Why him? Isn't it
better to let him stay? He's not like you, you
know. He acts tough, but he's... He's fragile.
He'll do anything for you. He'll die if you ask
him to. You know that. I don't want to do this
alone. And I need you guys with me. But I can't
take all of you. I need Chester. I need to be
close to you. She just nods. All right. It's
scary sometimes. This sort of power you have
over people. Even I feel like you can convince
me of anything, Jules, if it's you. It's not
all it seems to be. She just nods and slides
back the stool and just says, Well, if you're
going somewhere tomorrow, it's best we sleep.
I'm going anyway. Go get some rest. You take
care of him, Jules. Keep him safe. Always. And
she goes to the stairs and disappears. And you're
alone. You are alone. I order another drink.
Let's cut to the morning. Zebulon, you are...
Passed out. Is this the first time you've ever
had like a hard drink? I mean, at least in excess.
I think two drinks is excess for Zebulon. Okay.
You know, champagne at a party maybe or, you
know, a fantasy beer with his older brother.
Yeah, let's say that I'm going to say that this
is probably his first hangover. Okay. Yeah. So
you're probably really groaning as you're being
slapped awake repeatedly by a small tiefling.
Come on, come on. I don't think Zebulon immediately
remembers that he agreed to letting Roundstuff
sleep somewhere in his room on the other bed,
so he probably is. You just wake up and see a
rabbit in your bed, and you're like, what? Oh,
shit. Oh, you're awake. Roundstuff, right. And
maybe he's a little sick. You have to go, right?
Actually, she doesn't know that. I think I should
meet up with Jules and see what he's up to this
morning. We got some plans, so. Oh, plans? Yeah.
Jules and I were headed to Subway? Shebna. Shebsenko.
That's a different... That's a different world.
We're going off world. You're going off world?
And you're taking me? Oh, I didn't... I can't
believe... Guys! She just jumps off the bed and
runs to the door and just... Hold on a second.
And she's out in the hallway screaming, Guys,
guys, we're going to Samsanko! I don't think
that's what she said. Jules is taking all of
us to Samsanko! You just hear Chester. And as
you wake up to the sound of this and the sound
of Chester going, Oh, shit. Shit, Zebulon. I
didn't... I'm not waking up. I'm still at the
bar. Oh, shit. So you hear this upstairs as you're
sitting at the bar. You hear, like, suddenly
round stuff gets up, first one awake, and starts
screaming to everybody that they're going to
some sunko. What do you do? Just wait for them
to come down? Because I will say, you hear, like,
in a moment, just like, do -do -do -do -do -do
-do -do, a pitter -patter of many feet as a thunder...
a thunder of orphans? What does that mean? I
don't know. I think it's a murder. A murder of
orphans. Thunders down the stairs. As I hear
this, I order another drink. So you just made
Ader stay there all night long? Ader's gone now.
How much do I owe? Yeah, he just left you a bottle.
He just left the bottle. He left the bottle.
He went to sleep. Fuck it. Yeah, he just left
the bottle. He's got this small nook behind the,
like a little room behind the bar. He just goes
in. You can hear him snoring back there. You've
been listening to him snore for like three hours
now. But yeah, you just see that all the time.
That's where I'm at. I'm not going to move. You
pour another drink. I'm not going to move from
that spot. And you just kind of suddenly find
yourself in a ring of orphans as they all just
kind of surround you. Hands on hips and such.
Chester and Jeans are kind of off in the background.
Mortar's quietly sort of observing this and making
sort of their glances at each other. But yeah,
not great. I think Fyro speaks up first, just
like, is there something you want to tell us,
Jules? Sounds like you guys already know what's
going on. So it's true? You're leaving? You're
going off world? Yeah. What? Yeah. Why? Why are
we leaving? I mean, are we getting relocated?
Is that it? Sapsunco is nice. I've heard they've
got really nice local cuisine. The noodle shops
are fantastic. We are not leaving. What? Chester
and I, we're going away for a little bit. Just
a little bit. I think this is probably the time
when Zebulon finally makes his way down the stairs.
Yeah, you're kind of awkwardly walking into his
leg. He's just standing at the outskirts. Just
kind of the... Even Zeb can feel the tension
in the room. Yeah. You just hear it suddenly
right next to you. It wasn't there before, but
there's a presence just standing on the bar.
You see Miskin's just there like, it's just really
a good idea, Jules. You and Chester alone out
there, no backup. What could be worth it? You
all are worth it. And that's why we're doing
this. I wish I could take you all with us. Why
don't you? Roundstuff's just looking at you with
these big puppy dog eyes. Why don't we all just
go together? We always stay together. We left
Tythos together, and we were here together. And
we will be together. Just after we do what we
gotta do. How long will that take? I don't know.
I don't know. What do we do without you? You
love each other. You take care of each other.
And when we come back, it'll be good again. It'll
be great again. Right now, we gotta do what we
gotta do. And that's all we can do. I see a lot
of faces are looking down. I think Chester steps
forward like, Hey, guys, come on! It's Jules,
right? You know he'll be back. He'll be back
and better and stronger than ever. And yet, Jeans.
I mean, Jeans, look at her. She's so responsible
and smart. She'll take care of you. Uh, right,
Jeans? And she just kind of smiles at him and
smiles at the rest of them and they look a little
bit better about it. This is only for a little
while, guys. And then we're going to be, uh...
We're going to be better than ever. I promise
you that. And Zebulon, you are, I imagine, kind
of standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking
on through the railings and watching as Jules
LaRoche vanishes beneath a pile of orphans as
they just, what's the word? Pig pile? Pig pile.
Dog pile. Dog pile, that's the one. As they just
dog pile on him. Yeah, I think Zebulon's kind
of like standing there mouth agape. This isn't
really the... He doesn't have this kind of tenderness
with his own family. Never mind a ragtag group
of orphans who don't share blood relation. So
he's touched and confused at the same time. So
I think... Time is passing, and we're getting
close to when you guys got to get out. You stayed
up late. You have until noon, but you don't know
what the procedures are going to be once you
actually reach the site. I think it's time to
go, Zeb. Yeah, just give me one second. And Zeb
walks over to Ader's little office there. Is
Ader awake yet? He's still snoring. Okay, so...
Then Zeb will scratch a little note on a little
scratch of paper, scrap of paper, that just says,
you know, watch over the kids for as long as
you can. And he leaves them that note in five
gold pieces. Oh, okay. You know, kind of like
asking him to try to make a place for them there,
put them to work, whatever, to keep them safe.
Okay. Wow, the ugly coyote is now our home base.
I didn't... Didn't see that coming. Great. You
know this from last episode. We have taken over
this campaign. It's true. It's true. I have no
power now. Great. So you guys leave. I think
you're heading out, and I think the children
are going to follow you in a way. They want to
see you off, and Jeans starts grabbing. The ground
stuff is in the front, and Jeans kind of grabs
her and pulls her back. He's like, no, I think
it's best we stay here. I'm like, we're safe
here. Hey, hey, stuff. Come here, stuff. She
comes there. Stuff. She dances over. I don't
want you to worry so much about these guys. Uncle
Zebulon's going to be there to make sure they
come back safe. She starts crying. Just kidding.
I was going to say, I thought we had a good thing
coming. Oh, God. She just nods and looks at us
that way. She's wiping tears from her eyes like,
okay. And kind of like as a show of force, he
blows a little bit of black smoke out of his
nostrils. Whoa. I'll keep him safe. You have
dragon magic. He has dragon magic. And she's
like always running off to tell Paul, who's just
sort of staring blankly at you, Jules, and just
says, Safe. Be safe. YouTube ball. And I think
with that, Chester ushers you outside. And I
think we start walking down the road. Come on,
Chester. Sorry, I'm talking to myself. Come on,
Jules. We got to go. Goodbyes are awful. I'm
out of here. Let's get the show on the road.
All right. And you guys. are moving. You got
a ways to go, yo. Like I said, you're at the
very back bottom of the trade discol, as far
away from the passage of respite as possible,
because, I mean, nobody funnels down far enough
to go to the fucking ugly coyote, for good reason.
You're both very itchy today, by the way. Just
a side note. Bad bugs? Maybe. You don't know.
Didn't get a roll for that? No. Thanks. You made
the choice to stay at a place called the Ugly
Coyote. No, we didn't have a choice. Oh, my God.
You could have slept in the street like an idiot.
Would have been much cleaner in the street. What
do you call it? Probably. Are you calling me
and my own idiots? I mean, I'll accept that in
Zebulon's case. This DM's an asshole. Well, time
is short, but you know what? We're doing this
anyway. You guys are moving up the street. Past
the Court of Whispers. You pass the Preserve
of the Ancestors, the Great Iron Door that moves
into the Radiant Seydel itself, into the Ethereal
Diamond. What's that fucking word? Auroral Diamond.
Boom. We got it. That's it. All right. And you're
working your way up and up. And then you're passing
the Palace of Exile. And you hear a voice say,
Zebulon? Zebulon? Hey, Zebulon. Oh, shit. There
you are. Ah. Then you turn and see Arhalon. Oh,
hey. You see immediately that he has two arms.
Oh. Hey. And Zebulon runs over. Hey. Oh, what?
Hey, you look great. He goes and, like, tries
to grab you in a hug, and you see he only uses
one arm. The other one, like, twitches a little
bit. He's just like, do you see? I just came
back from the House of Convalescence. The Shoe
Bear's brought someone in to, well, rejuvenate
my lost limb. Oh, my goodness. Arhalon, that's,
wow, that's so great. Yes, it'll take some time.
Wow, look at you. Something about the lightning
magic that... Ozen carried on his blade. It severed
the nerves and burned them, so I... It's going
to take time to regain any sort of movement to
control all that, but I'm doing exercises, and
very soon, very soon your big brother's going
to be back to his old glory. I'm... I'm really
sorry, Arhalon. About everything. There's nothing
to be sorry about, Zeb. No, no, it's... I...
Everything's great, don't you see? I know. Wasn't
really my fault and there wasn't, I don't know,
maybe there was more I could do, but I just,
I didn't want to be at home for a little while
and I'm sorry about that. Hey, hey, it's fine.
I was unlivable and I apologize, but everything's
fine. It's all going to go back to normal now,
just like it was. Yeah. Who's your friend here?
I made some friends. Yes. We're going to, well,
we're just going to go hang out. For a little.
And I'll... And I'll... Key you. And it'll be
normal. Roll me a deception check. So, 17. That's
pretty good. Okay. Pretty good. He looks at you,
though, and there's still something like... I
think there's still a little something he doesn't
quite like. Something he doesn't trust. I think
he's just like... You see his eyes sort of...
wins for a second and he looks up and he's, who
is this? Introduce me. Please. Well, this is,
hey, guys, you want to come over here for just
a sec? This is my brother, Arhalon. Arhalon,
these are my friends. I drink whiskey now. Oh,
is that right? So, how fun, how fun. You're Zebulon's
friends then. Ar -ha -lan. That right? Yep. You
got it. Pleased to meet you. Jules LaRoche. You're
like the only one that's even close to his height.
That's not that close. He like grips it hard.
Almost a show of his pure strength. Jules LaRoche.
Are you that Jules LaRoche? Huh. Yeah. Interesting.
This is Chester. Hey, I'm Chester. You're a pretty
big guy. He's still watching, looking at you,
Jules, and he's shaking your hand for too long
and just kind of staring down at you. And I pull
my hand away after an uncomfortable length. He
kind of like that sort of snaps him out of it.
He's like, ah, yes, right. Sebulon, could we
walk for a moment, just you and I? Ah. Please,
just for a moment. Sure, yeah. We're going to
be late. We're going to be late, but yeah. Guys,
how about I, I'll meet you there. I'll catch
up. All right. All right, Zeb, we'll be there.
He sort of turns with you, Zeb, and you begin
to walk sort of off the main road and like off
to the sides, sort of deeper into the Palace
of Exile sort of area, like past where your apartment
is. I'm almost walking up to, like, the edge
of the city, at least in that direction. He's
just, as you go, he's talking. Well, how's Ebulon?
You're really moving up. Made friends with Jules
LaRoche. He's pretty famous, you know. Well,
yeah, we just kind of, it was happenstance. But
we're getting along, so, you know, what's this
about? I'm kind of anxious to... Get back to
my friends. Well, I just wanted to talk. Your
brother wants to talk. It's been a few days,
and a lot has happened between us. To tell you
the truth, it's been hard for me, Zebulon. I
mean, my arm is how it is, and... I know, and
it makes me feel a lot better to see you whole
again. I just... I don't have friends. I've never
had friends. You don't... You never needed friends.
Zebulon, we... Well, this is good, though. I
mean, you know... I do now. Yes. Yes, I understand.
Because I was gone for a bit there, and I understand
why you would look out for somebody else. But
Zebulon, it's... Well, it's always been us, you
know? Mother is... Well, you know how Mother
is. Likely to forget us when she sees a curious
bubble. Yes, and Father... Well, we... Father...
He almost gets this foggy, like... Distant look
in his eyes. Well, and with Grandmother as she
never has time for us, it's just always been
me and you. So, you know, why not have the day
together? You could hang out another day, right?
I mean... Well, we've got plans, though. And,
um... You know, I'm sorry. I understand, I do,
but Zebulon, I... And he just, I think he reached
a point now where he's like almost at the edge
of the Citadel. And he kind of climbs up on,
I imagine there's sort of a small like rocky
slope that borders it. And he sort of climbs
up on top of it and he's staring down, down at
the sort of ethereal fog all around the Citadel
and down at the keening gloom far below, just
still roaring. There's this constant cyclone.
He's staring down the bodies. It's been hard.
So be long night. You know I'm always going to
protect you, right? I'm your big brother. You
don't need to worry. You don't need anyone else.
I will always protect you, but I need your help
for that. Right now. I need you to do something
for me, okay? Well, I won't forget that, Arhan,
but I don't always need your protection. I mean,
sometimes I can just go be myself. No! No! Sebulon,
you almost died on Tythos. You almost died because
I wasn't there to protect you, but I'm going
to get stronger. Your big brother's going to
get stronger. He needs something from you to
do it, okay? I almost died because those crazy
people took a fucking carriage. Sorry. A thinking
carriage? Language. You never spoke like that
before. On the Sapphire. Sebulon, I just get
this impression that you're starting to become
someone that isn't you. And that maybe isn't...
I mean, it's not right for you. You're slipping
away. Look down there. Look at it. There's so
much out there. I haven't seen any of it. You
left this world once and almost died. We all
almost died. If the luminaries... If the luminaries
hadn't shown up when they did... Zebulon, I want
to be me again. Okay? And I need you to do something
for me. I need you to, as your brother, do something
for me. Will you? Will you? One request. Of course.
Arlon, what do you want? And he kind of takes
this breath, kind of calms, smiles a little bit
and says, I want you to throw your swords over.
I want you to toss them into the gloom. You don't
need them. You're not going to use them again.
Well, I'm not going to do that. He looks at you,
and you see, like, he is fucking serious. His
eyes bore into you, and they are just hot. I
think you are, Sebulon. Take your swords, and
toss them into the gloom. And then I'll protect
you, and it'll be just like it always was. Well,
how are we going to... train together if I don't
have any chores. You don't need to train anymore.
I don't need your help training. I just need
to know you're behind me. As long as I know that
you're there behind me, I can fight at my fullest.
Don't you want to help me? This is me helping
you. This is for you. I always do it for you.
I got these chores from you. I think I'd like
to keep them. And I would like you to destroy
them. I don't know why this is so hard. I made
a mistake. You shouldn't have them. This is a
really weird thing to ask. I don't ask you to
throw your stuff over the side of the... world.
No. No. It can be both ways. No, it can't. Not
anymore. You're scaring me, Arlon. I... You're
scaring me, Zebulon. Suddenly you're just changing.
You're swearing, you're hanging out with hooligans
like Jules LaRoche. Disappearing for nights,
going off on... I don't even know where. I see
you're heading towards the passage of respite.
Maybe it's about time that I... grew up. Xole
seems to think so. Thinks I'm nothing but a...
Fool kid. If that's what you want, I'll have
no part of it. What does that mean? It means
what it means, Zebulon. If you want to go, go.
Are you saying that I can't come back? He doesn't
answer you. He just keeps staring at you. Glaring
at you. Zebulon starts to take a couple of steps
back. But so much more. He just stares. Unmoved.
And Julie's a Julie's a pretty good guy. And
Zebulon's still backing up step by step as he's
talking. We got into a fight together. It was
pretty cool. And I I did alright. I have you
to thank. for that. He winces. I think maybe
I'll be stronger the next time I see you. But
don't worry or anything. I think Jules and I
are going to be... We're going to have a good
time. We're going to be okay. So I'll... I'll
see you around, big brother. Yeah, he turns to
leave. And you just start to move and you're
just here behind you. You're making a mistake.
It's a mistake, Zebulon. You're making a mistake.
Zebulon, get back here. Zebulon, get back here.
Zebulon! I'm not afraid to make mistakes anymore.
Oh, shit. And you dash back out to Jules and
Chester who are waiting in the street. And you
all turn. As you look ahead, you see up the road
from you the passage of respite, the great docking
bay. And you can see, breaking away from its
constant orbit, this great ruby begins to slowly
pull in to dock. Chester just looks over at him,
looks over at you, Jules. You ready? Let's do
it. And as the ruby comes and connects the land
ahead, we see these three figures moving down
the steps towards a new adventure and a new world.
And we'll call it there.