WEBVTT

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Hey everyone, Steven here. I just wanted to pop

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in before the show starts, ask you to leave us

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a review if you're enjoying the show, wherever

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you're listening. And if you feel so inclined,

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please let your friends know. We'd love to have

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them join us and enjoy episode six of Fantasy

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Pants. A few days have passed since the tragedy

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on the world of Tithos. While the 24 remaining

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Concord worlds are still struggling in the wake

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of this loss, our two luminaries have had some

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struggles of their own. Zebulon Brass, crushed

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beneath the weight of his family's legacy and

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heartbroken by their overbearance, plans to leave

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his life behind and find himself a new path.

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And Jules LaRoche, shouldering the safety and

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well -being of his people, the laborers and low

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folk, now refugees, waiting whatever future is

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chosen for them by the oppressive powers that

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be. Both of them receive a mysterious summons

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to an address within the Radiant Citadel's Court

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of Whispers. Promising opportunity. They meet

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once more at the noted destination. However,

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they soon find themselves caught in a trap as

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they are ambushed in a courtyard by two assailants

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who seem determined to throw down. Well, we're

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back. Let's throw down. Throw down. Yeah, we're

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ready. We can have slang in modern terms in our

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fictitious world. Yeah, no, I dig it. Yep, I

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think it sounded good. We're throwing fists.

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Is that a thing that the kids say nowadays? I

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think it's throwing hands. Throwing hands. Oh,

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throwing hands. I shouldn't throw hands. I am

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not cool. They're determined to throw hands.

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We should redo it. That sounds better. Let's

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go back. Cut this all. So it's autumn. It's really

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cold. That hit us. It is awesome, right? Yeah,

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leaves are starting to change. You guys love

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this as much as me? I don't know if that I was

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quite ready for summer to be over, but, but I

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do, I do really like the fall season. Yeah. Hoodie,

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hoodie and jeans weather is the best out of the

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whole year. It's so good. Absolutely. It's so

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good. And it's so brief because I mean, October

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is hands down the best, best time of the year,

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despite the fact that Columbus day is in October

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and anyone in the service industry in the North

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country hates Columbus day more than anything.

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But apart from that, we get Halloween. Yeah.

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I mean, Halloween started September 31st. I love

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it. I would argue it starts. No, actually. No,

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no, no. Yeah. No, I had that wrong. Sorry. Where's

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your Halloween spirit? You Grinch. So Jeremy,

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do you, do you get trick -or -treaters here?

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I don't remember getting them last year, but

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I'm, I'm also out with my family. Oh, okay. Gotcha.

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So I guess I wouldn't know whether I did or not.

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I think most people go to like, The more like

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neighborhood areas rather than, you know, like

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apartment complexes. We get swamped at my house

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every year, which is really difficult because

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I want to be the full -size candy bar house.

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Oh, hell yeah. But that means dropping literally

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hundreds of dollars on candy. And we, no matter

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how much candy we buy, like we spent like, I

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think at least $300 on candy last year and we

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were out of big bars. In 50 minutes. Oh my gosh.

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And by that time, everybody knows that you're

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the big candy bar house. Right. So everybody

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is coming expecting a big goddamn candy bar.

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Yeah. And I think this is probably the last Halloween

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we're going to be in the house. So I want to

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do it again, but I don't want to spend like,

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like, like even if I spend double that, like

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I'm still going to get through. Less than half

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of Trick or Treat. It's like, what are the good

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feelings really worth? Yeah. I don't know. Let

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me backpedal my statement a little bit just so

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I can reiterate something. I love Halloween.

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I love it. I hate that thing you just said. All

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that work, that's work. Yeah. For kids that aren't

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mine. I don't have kids. I don't want kids. I

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don't want kids in my house. I live in the woods

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and I don't get kids and it's great. I agree

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with almost the entire sentiment. I'm not a kids

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person. Um, I think, I think I just do it because

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I'm so nostalgic for Halloween and I loved being

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a kid going door to door and trick or treating

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that. I just like, I want that for somebody,

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even if they're a snot nose, a little brat. It

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makes sense. It makes sense. I think I've told,

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I think I've told David the story of the first

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Halloween in this house. In Lancaster, right?

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I don't recall. I don't recall. Okay. I'm pretty

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sure I haven't told Jeremy, so it'll be new for

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both of you then. All right. So we've done some

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changes to the house. We put walls up and taken

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walls down and blah, blah, blah, this and that.

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But when we first moved in, there was basically

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a straight line from the front door straight

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through the hall where there's now a closet straight

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into what is... Now the dining room used to be

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the living room. Really? And there was a couch

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right there where the breakfast bar is now. Used

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to be a couch there. So you could look left and

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straight out to the front door. So trick or treat

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had like just begun. I wasn't really expecting

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anybody yet. So I was just sitting on the couch

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watching TV. And all of a sudden I hear the door

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close. And so I look up to my left and there's

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this young girl, probably like a preteen. What?

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In like a really, like, I don't even remember

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what the Halloween costume was. She kind of just

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looked like she was in like jeans and had, I

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don't know, maybe like a wig on or something.

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Walks into my living room with her bag. Trick

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or treat. I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Holy

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shit. I'm home alone. Rachel's at work. So I

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get up and I like push her to the front door,

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get her on the front porch, give her her candy.

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And her parents are in the, like the van, their

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van parked out on the road. And they're like

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yelling at her and this and that. Bad start to

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Halloween. Ever since then, Halloween has been

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an expensive shit show at my house. Oh my gosh.

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Did they just let her walk in there? I guess

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so. They didn't get out of the car. They were

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still there in the car when we got out onto the

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front porch. Get out of the damn car and go stop

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your kid from going into some random stranger's

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house. Dude, I was terrified. What the hell?

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I was terrified. And yeah. Yeah, that's awful.

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That's terrifying. So keep a close eye on your

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kids, y 'all, because I'm not a bad guy. But

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there are lots of them. And kids walking into

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bad guys' houses, that's not a good thing. It's

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not a good thing. It's not a good thing. No,

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no. Jeremy, what do you do on Halloween? Mention

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going out. Probably going out trick -or -treating

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with my nephews and my niece. Nice, nice. Wishing

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I could get all the damn candy. You don't snag

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any? Yeah, you don't. Jeremy tax? Uncle tax?

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I mean, I do, but I can only get away with it

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once. Because they're smart. They're smart kids.

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I do it once, and then they're like, okay. Then

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I try again, and they're like, fuck you. See,

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that's why you're doing carrot, not stick. That's

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why the mob, they rough a place up, you know,

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break some kneecaps, and they're like, we're

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coming back for that candy. Push them in the

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mud just once, you'll get all the candy you ever

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want. I will say, there have been a couple times

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where I've wanted to actually just walk up to

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one of the houses with them. Just to see if whoever

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is handing out candy will just be like, oh, ha,

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ha, ha, ha. He's coming up with it. Here you

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go. I'll give you a little piece. And by the

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end of the night, I have a pillowcase full. Nice.

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Perfect. I'm going to try that this year. I was

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just thinking about our release schedule. We're

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recording a little bit ahead of time to get as

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big of a jump on this as we can so we're not

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stressed out, blah, blah, blah. Oh, we're stressed

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out. Planning on releasing biweekly. I think

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by the time this episode comes out, it's going

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to be closer to Thanksgiving. Oh, shoot. Yeah.

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That'll be interesting. Yeah, it'll be funny.

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Actually, well, this is episode six. It might

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be more towards Christmas. Yikes. Hope you guys

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had a great Halloween. I know. I know I did.

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The leaves are just changing. Excellent. Excellent.

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Well, on the bright side, all this talk managed

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to pad out some time since I lost half my notes

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again. This is fantastic. You have the most organized

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DM. Yeah. It's perfect. It's wonderful. I have

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like 16 different places to take notes on, a

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couple different notebooks, my phone, two computers,

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no, three computers. You bought a computer specifically

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so that we could do this? Yeah, but I broke it

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already, damn it. It doesn't take long. It's

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just chaos, all right? It is chaos. It's chaos.

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Outside, inside, everywhere. All chaos. You ever

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see those tablet cases that guys have on construction

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work sites where they wrap their tablets in?

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It's like an OtterBox, but for a tablet. It looks

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ridiculous. I have not seen this. Well, I'm going

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to get you one. That might be a good idea. Oh,

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boy. All this padding out. I should give you

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guys a hero point, but I won't. Or two or three.

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But speaking of hero points, hey, transition.

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We are about to enter a battle. A very, very

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important battle for a few different reasons.

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The first reason is that this is our first really,

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like, mechanically focused fight of this campaign,

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the last one. We got into combat, so to speak,

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but it was a little more flowy, a little more

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free. You know, it was a quick time event where

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this is going to be the nitty -gritty rules.

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We're getting this. Second reason this is important

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is because this is going to help me redeem myself

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in the eyes and ears of all the haters out there.

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Millions of haters, Jeremy. Millions? Millions.

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Wow. Because I made a couple errors. I take millions

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of haters. A couple errors in our first two sessions.

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One thing we should clarify, Zebulon. You are

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a brass dragonborn slash half -dragon combo hybrid,

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whatever the fuck. You... Well, yeah, for mechanics,

00:11:11.879 --> 00:11:14.580
he's a dragonborn. Yeah. Yeah, mechanically,

00:11:14.679 --> 00:11:18.419
dragonborn. He's got a tail and wings. Wings

00:11:18.419 --> 00:11:19.919
are too stubby to do anything. They're just kind

00:11:19.919 --> 00:11:22.779
of there for show. Or are they? Wink. Anyway.

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Zebulon, you're brass, not bronze. Bronze is

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electricity. Brass is fire. Sorry, everybody.

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Should have killed him. I didn't. I'll make it

00:11:32.389 --> 00:11:34.230
up to you right now. Seriously, this session,

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this guy, this Zebulon brass that you all hate,

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I know no one likes him. I'll take him down.

00:11:38.970 --> 00:11:40.149
We'll find a better character. We'll find a better

00:11:40.149 --> 00:11:43.490
actor. Not with his new fire powers. I'll promise

00:11:43.490 --> 00:11:46.169
you right now, if I kill Steven in this session,

00:11:46.309 --> 00:11:49.070
we'll fire him. Hey, I could take my Thursday

00:11:49.070 --> 00:11:53.629
nights back. Hey, be sadder. Anyway. I love how

00:11:53.629 --> 00:11:56.610
you say this on a Friday night. Oh, yes. This

00:11:56.610 --> 00:12:00.659
time it's Friday. I'm taking my dice and I'm

00:12:00.659 --> 00:12:06.620
going home. Your Fisher -Price dice? Yeah. Yeah,

00:12:06.620 --> 00:12:08.659
apart from that, you know, death throes, missed

00:12:08.659 --> 00:12:11.539
those. Not a big deal. But hey, you know what?

00:12:11.639 --> 00:12:14.000
It all works out because I brought you guys here

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to this little courtyard where shit's about to

00:12:18.679 --> 00:12:22.990
go down hard. Now we mentioned hero points. Let's

00:12:22.990 --> 00:12:24.769
talk about that for a second, because each of

00:12:24.769 --> 00:12:26.629
you are going to have two hero points going into

00:12:26.629 --> 00:12:30.850
this. Ooh, baby. Hey! Award to those hero points

00:12:30.850 --> 00:12:33.950
right here and now. Why is this? Because in episode

00:12:33.950 --> 00:12:37.669
four and episode five, your RP was fucking righteous.

00:12:38.330 --> 00:12:40.669
Good shit. Good shit. Both of you. Seriously.

00:12:40.809 --> 00:12:43.730
Thank you. Awesome. Thanks. You know, we had

00:12:43.730 --> 00:12:47.950
some combat light, sort of slower episodes, but

00:12:47.950 --> 00:12:49.610
a lot of drama, a lot of heavy shit, and that

00:12:49.610 --> 00:12:53.759
was... Sold by both of you. So let me... Aha!

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I have the buttons. Buttons. Ah, yes. Another

00:12:56.460 --> 00:12:59.419
point. Steven has made us some fantasy pants

00:12:59.419 --> 00:13:01.960
buttons to give out for hero points because,

00:13:02.039 --> 00:13:04.919
hey, flavor. Because it's a pants thing. Each

00:13:04.919 --> 00:13:08.899
of you receive two buttons. Huzzah. Sweet. I'm

00:13:08.899 --> 00:13:11.820
going to come at you swinging full fucking force

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today, gentlemen. Remember those things. Seriously.

00:13:14.820 --> 00:13:16.899
Use the buttons. Use the buttons. Use everything

00:13:16.899 --> 00:13:19.059
you've got. You got magic? Use that magic. You

00:13:19.059 --> 00:13:22.039
got secret racial abilities that you haven't

00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:24.159
revealed yet? Use that shit. I don't know. I'm

00:13:24.159 --> 00:13:27.419
not putting on blast here. Spoiler alert. Whoops.

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Anyway. So. That being said. That's it, right?

00:13:32.820 --> 00:13:35.360
We're doing this? We're in? I'm in. We're in?

00:13:35.379 --> 00:13:38.919
Let's rock and roll. Okay. You guys were moving

00:13:38.919 --> 00:13:42.120
into this courtyard. Sort of. looking for this

00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:45.240
mysterious messenger that that called you here

00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:48.620
you meet up again uh for the first real time

00:13:48.620 --> 00:13:50.820
you actually introduce yourselves to each other

00:13:50.820 --> 00:13:53.580
in this in this strange place and you're walking

00:13:53.580 --> 00:13:56.480
across this courtyard all walled on every side

00:13:56.480 --> 00:13:59.600
the tall brick walls some sort of run down looking

00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:02.120
building up ahead with a single closed door no

00:14:02.120 --> 00:14:04.139
windows you can see you don't know what's going

00:14:04.139 --> 00:14:07.169
on in there you're passing by this fountain Uh,

00:14:07.309 --> 00:14:09.289
the sort of dilapidated fountain, the statue

00:14:09.289 --> 00:14:11.710
no longer spouts water. Uh, let's just say it

00:14:11.710 --> 00:14:13.370
looks like it might've been a statue of, uh,

00:14:13.409 --> 00:14:16.149
of Atash. Um, though the head sort of worn down,

00:14:16.230 --> 00:14:18.169
you can't quite make out the face, but the, I

00:14:18.169 --> 00:14:21.549
mean the muscular crossed arms and the angelic

00:14:21.549 --> 00:14:23.490
wings off to the side. Steven has been trying

00:14:23.490 --> 00:14:26.289
to open a bottle of wine for like 10 goddamn

00:14:26.289 --> 00:14:29.549
minutes now. He is straining so hard. It's so

00:14:29.549 --> 00:14:33.850
funny. It's so funny. This one's on really. We

00:14:33.850 --> 00:14:37.769
got it. And it's everywhere. It's everywhere.

00:14:42.049 --> 00:14:46.190
Away from the electronics. Away from the electronics.

00:14:46.669 --> 00:14:52.870
Oh, man. This guy. This guy. Was it five minutes

00:14:52.870 --> 00:14:56.450
ago he was picking on me for my misuse of electronical

00:14:56.450 --> 00:14:59.929
devices? I think we're going to take a little

00:14:59.929 --> 00:15:03.110
two -minute cut here. We'll be right back, folks.

00:15:03.590 --> 00:15:09.080
See ya. All right. Back under control. Is it?

00:15:09.100 --> 00:15:14.379
Is it, Steven? So I was just opening a bottle

00:15:14.379 --> 00:15:18.740
of bourbon barrel -aged Imperial Stout. If you're

00:15:18.740 --> 00:15:23.179
a small brewery and you're bottling beer, get

00:15:23.179 --> 00:15:28.299
a hold of priming charge before you go distributing

00:15:28.299 --> 00:15:33.379
those. That bottle wasn't even a year old and

00:15:33.379 --> 00:15:37.289
went everywhere. I don't know. I suspected something

00:15:37.289 --> 00:15:40.470
was wrong when I was putting all my force into

00:15:40.470 --> 00:15:43.429
opening it, and it wasn't. It was pretty funny

00:15:43.429 --> 00:15:46.710
looking. After about 15 seconds of watching you

00:15:46.710 --> 00:15:48.490
struggle with that, I knew what was coming. I've

00:15:48.490 --> 00:15:50.950
opened a bottle or two in my day, and yeah, that

00:15:50.950 --> 00:15:53.350
one was definitely a little suspect. And the

00:15:53.350 --> 00:15:57.250
beer, while tasty, is definitely over -carbed.

00:15:57.690 --> 00:16:00.590
All right, well, now that disaster is over with.

00:16:00.710 --> 00:16:02.049
It was absolutely worth it, though, because this

00:16:02.049 --> 00:16:03.850
is really good fucking beer. It's tasty, yeah.

00:16:03.909 --> 00:16:05.570
And I only got a little bit on your rug and a

00:16:05.570 --> 00:16:08.970
little bit on David's notebook. That's okay.

00:16:09.269 --> 00:16:10.950
Some all over my face. And you saved the mics

00:16:10.950 --> 00:16:12.610
and the tablet. Yep. That could have been a lot

00:16:12.610 --> 00:16:14.529
more disastrous. Yeah, could have been worse.

00:16:14.710 --> 00:16:15.929
Could have been worse. But now let's take out

00:16:15.929 --> 00:16:18.950
that frustration on David's NPCs. Yes, on this

00:16:18.950 --> 00:16:22.710
rabbit humanoid, and I forget what they're called.

00:16:23.350 --> 00:16:25.610
Haringon. Haringon. We're getting to the Haringon.

00:16:25.690 --> 00:16:30.110
I was building up this scene. I was just getting

00:16:30.110 --> 00:16:32.750
some momentum going. I was fucking flame grilled

00:16:32.750 --> 00:16:35.570
burger patty hot. Now I'm turkey sandwich cold.

00:16:35.950 --> 00:16:38.429
Thanks to you, Steven. That's the way we want

00:16:38.429 --> 00:16:42.370
it. Perfect. Perfect. Damn it. It's a fucking

00:16:42.370 --> 00:16:44.950
statue. It's a fucking courtyard. You guys are

00:16:44.950 --> 00:16:47.149
in the middle of it. This better? You want this?

00:16:48.429 --> 00:16:51.919
Captivating. This is what you get. You're halfway

00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:55.019
down this damn courtyard, and two figures, boom,

00:16:55.100 --> 00:16:57.100
they appear behind you. What is this? Oh my gosh,

00:16:57.120 --> 00:16:59.539
it's a haranguan, shirtless, muscular. It's a

00:16:59.539 --> 00:17:01.360
rabbit guy, okay? They're fucking rabbit guys.

00:17:01.419 --> 00:17:03.779
They're kind of small. Dwarf -sized. I don't

00:17:03.779 --> 00:17:05.920
know. Anyway, he's scary. He's got a club, a

00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:08.140
beater club. Next to him is this goblin. He's

00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:10.400
got leather armor. He's got a shield and a scimitar.

00:17:11.819 --> 00:17:14.380
They don't like you very much. Why? You interrupted

00:17:14.380 --> 00:17:18.220
me. It's not going to kill you. That's why. You

00:17:18.220 --> 00:17:20.099
interrupted the DM. Now you're going to get it.

00:17:20.180 --> 00:17:22.259
That's what it's... Alien interrupted the DM,

00:17:22.339 --> 00:17:26.400
man. It's time for you to die. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

00:17:26.460 --> 00:17:27.920
you should have done that, you fucking moron.

00:17:28.359 --> 00:17:31.240
Was that the Haringan? That's the Haringan. That's

00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:33.339
his voice. I like it. All right, anyway. Boom,

00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:38.700
bam. Roll for initiative. Jeremy. That's a 20.

00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:41.940
20 for you? Not a natural 20. What does Chester

00:17:41.940 --> 00:17:45.509
get? Oh, Chester. Where's his sheet? Yeah, you

00:17:45.509 --> 00:17:47.430
took his sheet earlier. You took Chester's sheet.

00:17:47.589 --> 00:17:53.150
I lost Chester. Get out of town. If you weren't

00:17:53.150 --> 00:17:55.069
so goddamn talented, you'd be fucking fired.

00:17:55.410 --> 00:17:57.589
Oh, Chester. You look around. Where's Chester?

00:17:57.670 --> 00:18:02.450
He's gone. There's like a five -foot -wide pit,

00:18:02.609 --> 00:18:05.349
like a sewer drain. Chester's like, hey, Joe.

00:18:05.569 --> 00:18:09.640
Chester got a 19 as well, so. Nat 19? Yeah, Nat

00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:11.579
19. Okay, so he's up there. So we both got the

00:18:11.579 --> 00:18:15.339
same. But hold on. You guys talk about Zebulon's

00:18:15.339 --> 00:18:18.039
initiative while I go check his modifier. Hell

00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:21.000
yeah. Get that paper. Find it. We'll talk about

00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:24.019
Zebulon's initiative for about 45 seconds while

00:18:24.019 --> 00:18:26.839
Jeremy runs into the other room to try to find

00:18:26.839 --> 00:18:28.839
the sheet of paper. It's probably a bookmark

00:18:28.839 --> 00:18:31.539
in the book I was using. I got a 21. All right,

00:18:31.579 --> 00:18:34.569
21. That's pretty good. Yeah. You said he rolled

00:18:34.569 --> 00:18:36.869
19? Because he has a plus two deck, so that's

00:18:36.869 --> 00:18:39.210
21 as well then. Okay, so we didn't even need

00:18:39.210 --> 00:18:40.670
the sheet because we knew the stats. Oh, yeah.

00:18:40.769 --> 00:18:42.829
Well, I forgot I knew the stats. Thanks for wasting

00:18:42.829 --> 00:18:44.950
our time, dude. Jesus Christ. You don't deserve

00:18:44.950 --> 00:18:53.250
me. Fuck. Bring up that Sirenscape, would you?

00:18:53.609 --> 00:18:58.109
These figures come charging at you. The Goblin

00:18:58.109 --> 00:19:01.130
with the Haringan. They're moving towards you

00:19:01.130 --> 00:19:04.079
fast, but guess what, fellas? All three of you

00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:06.339
get the jump on them. We're going to start us

00:19:06.339 --> 00:19:08.880
off with Zebulon Brass. What are you doing, man?

00:19:09.359 --> 00:19:12.420
All right. Zebulon's going to... Oh, yeah. Do

00:19:12.420 --> 00:19:14.279
we have... Are we going to set up a map here?

00:19:14.460 --> 00:19:17.819
Oh, we have a map. We don't have tokens, so we're

00:19:17.819 --> 00:19:20.279
going to improv a token right now for everybody

00:19:20.279 --> 00:19:22.660
because our tokens are a little big for the grid

00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:25.140
I drew. What do you got, Steven? Reaching his

00:19:25.140 --> 00:19:28.799
pockets. He's got a candy wrapper. He's got another

00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:32.039
candy wrapper. No, this works. You reached into

00:19:32.039 --> 00:19:34.059
your back pocket, and I did not think you were

00:19:34.059 --> 00:19:35.539
reaching into your pocket there. Did you have

00:19:35.539 --> 00:19:37.900
a different candy wrapper in each back pocket?

00:19:38.039 --> 00:19:41.200
Yeah. Explain yourself, sir. When I go to Rachel's

00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:47.019
uncle's, dude's like 77, and he runs this farm.

00:19:47.079 --> 00:19:49.519
He has a small horse farm on his own, and the

00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:52.359
guy lives off nothing but candy. And in the tack

00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:56.430
room, he just has like... boxes and bags of candy.

00:19:56.630 --> 00:19:58.869
And I think it makes him happy if I have some.

00:19:59.269 --> 00:20:02.829
So I do every time. And I still got the wrappers

00:20:02.829 --> 00:20:05.470
in my back pocket. Okay. Still does not solve

00:20:05.470 --> 00:20:08.329
any of our problems. Nope. Not really. Okay.

00:20:09.410 --> 00:20:11.970
Oh. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Jeremy. These will work

00:20:11.970 --> 00:20:14.150
just fine. Let me just... What color do you want?

00:20:14.450 --> 00:20:17.329
Well... You're green. You took too long. No.

00:20:17.809 --> 00:20:20.250
Green's the one that I didn't want. Well... I

00:20:20.250 --> 00:20:22.109
want either one besides the green one. Yellow

00:20:22.109 --> 00:20:24.369
is Chester. Okay, I'll take red. I'll be green.

00:20:24.589 --> 00:20:26.250
All right, red, green. Okay, cool. Justin, go

00:20:26.250 --> 00:20:27.809
here then because he likes Jules more than you.

00:20:28.609 --> 00:20:31.309
Okay, so we're up in this courtyard. You guys

00:20:31.309 --> 00:20:33.750
are right by the fountain. You're about 35 feet

00:20:33.750 --> 00:20:35.849
away from the entrance, about 30 feet away from

00:20:35.849 --> 00:20:39.230
these two blokes who just strolled on in. They're

00:20:39.230 --> 00:20:41.650
moving at you. They look savage. They look angry.

00:20:41.890 --> 00:20:44.769
They look pissed at Steven in particular. What

00:20:44.769 --> 00:20:46.190
do you guys want to do about it? Well, Steven's

00:20:46.190 --> 00:20:50.130
not there. Take your damn turn. I don't know

00:20:50.130 --> 00:20:53.140
what we did to make them so angry. You don't

00:20:53.140 --> 00:20:55.259
know. It's weird. It's very weird. It's very

00:20:55.259 --> 00:20:58.380
weird. Do explain. Tell us. Who are they? Why

00:20:58.380 --> 00:21:00.319
are they here? Why are we here? But you earned

00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:02.619
your answers. Let's beat them up and find out.

00:21:02.680 --> 00:21:07.880
All right. So Zebulon's going to run up to...

00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:09.920
I mean, I just want to know. Which one's which?

00:21:10.579 --> 00:21:12.880
Green is Goblin. Yellow is Hargon. Obviously.

00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:16.220
Oh, duh. Green Goblin? Come on, man. How did

00:21:16.220 --> 00:21:18.900
you not know this? Okay. Then Zebulon's going

00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:22.859
to run right up to our... Goblin buddy here.

00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:26.400
Okay. Slide right up to this guy. He's kind of

00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:29.940
catching mid -charge. Fast. Swift. Get in there.

00:21:29.980 --> 00:21:32.420
What are you going to do? I'm going to swing

00:21:32.420 --> 00:21:36.140
my sabers at him. Okay. Give me that attack roll.

00:21:36.660 --> 00:21:41.059
Oh, man. You're kidding. Nat 20 on the first

00:21:41.059 --> 00:21:43.460
swing. You're kidding me. Nat 20 on the first

00:21:43.460 --> 00:21:45.920
swing. That is insane. I love it. All right.

00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:50.920
So the only bummer is. I hate that. I had thought

00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:54.539
about holding, knowing that Jules and Chester

00:21:54.539 --> 00:21:56.519
were going to be going up soon after. Oh, you

00:21:56.519 --> 00:21:58.079
get no sneak attack. I don't get sneak attack

00:21:58.079 --> 00:22:01.480
on this. No. I mean, mechanically it would have

00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:02.740
been the better move, but it just didn't feel

00:22:02.740 --> 00:22:05.079
right. Yeah, but it makes the fight better that

00:22:05.079 --> 00:22:08.180
you're going to lose now, so I like that. All

00:22:08.180 --> 00:22:09.779
right, I'm going to take my second swing, and

00:22:09.779 --> 00:22:12.599
then we'll roll damage. Do it. All right, that's

00:22:12.599 --> 00:22:13.759
just a 13 for the second swing. I thought I saw

00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:16.440
a 20 again on your page, and I was going to bop

00:22:16.440 --> 00:22:20.720
your nose. 13. That misses, actually. Clang,

00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:22.359
right off the shield. The first one strikes,

00:22:22.599 --> 00:22:24.200
but he goes to the second attack, and his shield

00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:26.900
comes and blocks you just right. Because it was

00:22:26.900 --> 00:22:30.259
close. It was close. That's 14 damage, though,

00:22:30.339 --> 00:22:33.299
for that crit. 14 damage. Ooh, not bad. That's

00:22:33.299 --> 00:22:37.400
not bad at all. That is, in fact, quite a lot.

00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:40.960
Okay, cool. So Zebulon runs up to these guys.

00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:44.279
I don't know who you are, but you're in my way!

00:22:44.990 --> 00:22:48.950
And he takes a swing. Damn. I'm just like. As

00:22:48.950 --> 00:22:53.009
you just like cleave. I mean, honestly, you get

00:22:53.009 --> 00:22:56.210
a deep, deep cut into this guy. He looks bad.

00:22:56.789 --> 00:23:00.650
Bad. Right off. And just shocked. I mean, this

00:23:00.650 --> 00:23:04.089
was like such a perfect vital strike. So quick.

00:23:04.170 --> 00:23:06.029
I don't think he even expected you to move this

00:23:06.029 --> 00:23:10.269
fast. Wow. Good opening move. I will punish you

00:23:10.269 --> 00:23:13.150
for that. But first, Chester, what are you doing?

00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:16.619
I think we've been shut up, guys. Ooh, what's

00:23:16.619 --> 00:23:19.140
Chester doing? What has he got? Oh, that's right.

00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:21.019
He's got his crossbow, doesn't he? He's got a

00:23:21.019 --> 00:23:23.400
sling currently. He's got a sling. He's got a

00:23:23.400 --> 00:23:25.839
dagger. He's got a sling. So I'll say, Chester,

00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:27.779
in these last few days, you've been sort of training,

00:23:27.940 --> 00:23:30.759
you know, learning some bardic magic and such.

00:23:31.539 --> 00:23:33.579
Chester's been, he's been training with a sling.

00:23:33.579 --> 00:23:36.640
He's been just kind of, he's knocking cans off

00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:40.839
of tent tops and shit. He's got a, you've always

00:23:40.839 --> 00:23:43.500
noticed, he's always had this sort of, talent

00:23:43.500 --> 00:23:47.119
for ranged abilities. He's sort of trying to

00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:49.759
experiment with that. Sorry, I have not had a

00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:52.619
lot of time with Chester's character sheet here.

00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:56.240
I understand. I just added a bunch to it like

00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.819
today. Alright, so he's going to sling it. Am

00:23:58.819 --> 00:24:01.039
I saying that right? It's a plus 6 to hit? It's

00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:04.200
a plus 6. He has a little feat that gives him

00:24:04.200 --> 00:24:08.380
a plus 2 on that. That would make it a 22. No,

00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:12.519
sorry, just a 20. My bad. 20. And who are you

00:24:12.519 --> 00:24:14.880
going for? Aurangon or Goblin? Which one does

00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:17.680
Zebulon go for? Goblin. The Goblin. Yeah, we're

00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:19.799
going to go for the Goblin. Okay. Try to finish

00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:23.940
it off. 22 does hit. Oh, yeah. What is that?

00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:30.900
1d4? Plus 2. 1d4 plus 2. 1. Minimum damage. 3

00:24:30.900 --> 00:24:34.059
points of damage? Yeah. All right. Three points

00:24:34.059 --> 00:24:37.859
of damage. This stone sails across. The goblin

00:24:37.859 --> 00:24:40.859
is still just kind of, like, reaching out, trying

00:24:40.859 --> 00:24:43.140
to, like, maybe get a hand around Zebulon's throat

00:24:43.140 --> 00:24:45.700
as they're just, like, meeting face to face,

00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:51.339
just bleeding down his blades. And this stone

00:24:51.339 --> 00:24:53.099
just strikes him right in the side of the head,

00:24:53.220 --> 00:24:56.059
and the goblin falls off your blade backwards,

00:24:56.440 --> 00:25:00.359
unconscious. Whoa. Oh. Yeah, that was a strong

00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:04.309
opening move. All right, sweet. Hell yeah. Nice

00:25:04.309 --> 00:25:06.430
move, Chester. Wait, I don't think I know Chester's

00:25:06.430 --> 00:25:10.490
name yet. No, you don't. Okay. Nice move, buddy.

00:25:10.950 --> 00:25:14.009
His name's Chester. My name's Chester. Come on.

00:25:14.150 --> 00:25:16.309
All right. You shrimp. Thanks for that, Chester.

00:25:17.670 --> 00:25:23.009
All right. Wow. Okay. Goblin is down. Don't worry.

00:25:23.390 --> 00:25:26.369
I'm not sweating yet. Jules. Yes. You're up.

00:25:26.990 --> 00:25:29.910
All right. How far are we? Are these five feet

00:25:29.910 --> 00:25:33.869
each? Yes, these are five feet. The Haringon's

00:25:33.869 --> 00:25:36.369
actually a little far. He's 35 feet away. Okay.

00:25:38.670 --> 00:25:40.950
It's for shits and giggles. I'm going to cast

00:25:40.950 --> 00:25:44.730
Tasha's Hideous Laughter. Okay. All right. Why

00:25:44.730 --> 00:25:47.950
not? We're a decent distance away. It's 30 feet.

00:25:49.369 --> 00:25:52.869
So you need to succeed on a wisdom saving throw.

00:25:52.950 --> 00:25:56.009
Or you fall prone, become incapacitated, and

00:25:56.009 --> 00:25:59.250
you are unable to stand. Okay. Wisdom saving

00:25:59.250 --> 00:26:03.650
throw. What's his intelligence? Uh, intelligence

00:26:03.650 --> 00:26:06.369
is, oh yeah, he's, he's, he's, he's sapient.

00:26:06.690 --> 00:26:10.069
It's a, it's 10. Okay. Is that intelligence under

00:26:10.069 --> 00:26:12.289
four? The spell doesn't affect. Yes. It's like,

00:26:12.309 --> 00:26:16.690
it's like won't affect a dog. Um, okay. So 12.

00:26:17.150 --> 00:26:20.210
That's a fail. Nice. That is a fail. Excellent.

00:26:20.430 --> 00:26:24.069
Okay. Uh, dude, earlier David was like, you guys

00:26:24.069 --> 00:26:25.509
probably aren't going to get through this combat.

00:26:25.750 --> 00:26:28.069
No, just you wait. I'm not done with you yet.

00:26:28.150 --> 00:26:31.210
Both of them are down. I'm not done with you.

00:26:31.630 --> 00:26:35.549
yet so this haranguan um just sees you drop his

00:26:35.549 --> 00:26:39.410
way he's like oh hell oh oh wait oh oh geez um

00:26:39.410 --> 00:26:42.730
what if we just and then uh something he just

00:26:42.730 --> 00:26:48.809
bursts out and just falls onto his back laughing

00:26:48.809 --> 00:26:53.069
his ass off and prone not great sorry listeners

00:26:53.069 --> 00:26:55.410
i gotta get better about actually reading what

00:26:55.410 --> 00:26:57.549
the actual spell does because i don't know if

00:26:57.549 --> 00:27:00.359
i actually explained it entirely Oh, right, yeah,

00:27:00.420 --> 00:27:02.579
yeah. It basically causes them to laugh, makes

00:27:02.579 --> 00:27:05.420
them prone for basically a... The duration, which

00:27:05.420 --> 00:27:07.420
is concentration for one minute. Yep, so I have

00:27:07.420 --> 00:27:10.019
to re -roll each round to see if I can free myself

00:27:10.019 --> 00:27:13.740
up. Yeah, at the end of each of your turn. Each

00:27:13.740 --> 00:27:16.079
of my turn, okay. Each of your turn or if you

00:27:16.079 --> 00:27:17.960
take damage. Yeah, okay. If you take damage,

00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:20.079
not if you attack. Oh, okay. If you take damage.

00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:24.400
Gotcha. Yep. All right, well, lucky for me...

00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:26.079
And you have advantage on ones that are triggered

00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:29.599
by damage. Lucky for me, it's my turn now. I

00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:32.079
know what you're thinking. Your turn, David.

00:27:32.259 --> 00:27:35.099
You already lost. You already lost. Well, you'll

00:27:35.099 --> 00:27:38.119
be wrong about that. You see a third figure.

00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:40.619
You had to wonder why I grabbed three tokens.

00:27:40.779 --> 00:27:42.880
Yeah, I did. And I heard you say, oops, I grabbed

00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:47.019
an extra one. From behind the brick. You see

00:27:47.019 --> 00:27:52.079
a, uh, you see a, a, a turtle, a turtle man.

00:27:52.650 --> 00:27:54.910
He's got just kind of like this sort of decoration

00:27:54.910 --> 00:27:57.650
on his shell, almost like a cape going down his

00:27:57.650 --> 00:28:00.690
shell, like a red with sort of a gold outline

00:28:00.690 --> 00:28:03.529
to it. Just looks down at the Laughing Hargon,

00:28:03.890 --> 00:28:06.730
the Downed Goblin, Zebulon, and Jules beyond

00:28:06.730 --> 00:28:12.269
them, and just like sighs and says, Well, well,

00:28:12.390 --> 00:28:14.769
well, well. Looks like my idiots did not hold

00:28:14.769 --> 00:28:19.529
up after all. That's all right. You see that

00:28:19.529 --> 00:28:24.869
this figure has a... spear he's holding, basically

00:28:24.869 --> 00:28:29.089
in two hands, and just sort of abruptly reaches

00:28:29.089 --> 00:28:33.269
down and touches the goblin, just says, lucky

00:28:33.269 --> 00:28:36.589
for them, I'm here. And he grabs the goblin by

00:28:36.589 --> 00:28:40.210
the ankle and lays on hands. This bitch. And

00:28:40.210 --> 00:28:43.569
the goblin snaps awake. You see its wounds begin

00:28:43.569 --> 00:28:47.869
to heal. And I think that's all I can currently

00:28:47.869 --> 00:28:52.859
do. With my third little brigand. Which brings

00:28:52.859 --> 00:28:56.859
us to the Haringan's turn, who is currently laughing,

00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:59.660
and that's very sad for me. So I'm going to try

00:28:59.660 --> 00:29:01.440
to break this because I don't think I can do

00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:06.000
anything else this round. Here we go. Does a

00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:10.759
14 break it? Yes. It does? Is that the end? No,

00:29:10.759 --> 00:29:14.210
that was the end of the turn, wasn't it? That

00:29:14.210 --> 00:29:15.670
was the end of his turn, yes. Son of a bitch.

00:29:15.849 --> 00:29:17.130
That's all he gets. I mean, he loses his whole

00:29:17.130 --> 00:29:18.970
turn, though. He just kind of... He's kind of...

00:29:18.970 --> 00:29:23.970
Oh, hell. Oh, sorry. Sorry. He just kind of climbs

00:29:23.970 --> 00:29:26.769
to his feet, gets his beater club ready, and

00:29:26.769 --> 00:29:28.210
that's all he can... Actually, he's probably

00:29:28.210 --> 00:29:29.910
still even prone because it's the end of his

00:29:29.910 --> 00:29:32.289
turn, so he just stops laughing on the ground.

00:29:32.789 --> 00:29:36.549
That's it. But the goblin gets to go now, and

00:29:36.549 --> 00:29:39.990
the goblin is back up. On top of the little bit

00:29:39.990 --> 00:29:42.230
he healed there, I'm going to first enact bonus

00:29:42.230 --> 00:29:45.150
action second wind. So let me do a quick roll

00:29:45.150 --> 00:29:48.869
for that. This isn't looking great. Yeah, I had

00:29:48.869 --> 00:29:51.710
shit up my sleeve. I don't think we were ever

00:29:51.710 --> 00:29:55.009
meant to have these characters long -term. Okay,

00:29:55.170 --> 00:29:58.990
with that, that is... Okay, so his HP is now

00:29:58.990 --> 00:30:04.029
here. Let me write this down. Okay, so now with

00:30:04.029 --> 00:30:07.309
that done, I am going to beat you up. Zebulon,

00:30:07.450 --> 00:30:11.130
you hit him. Now you're getting hit back. Goblin

00:30:11.130 --> 00:30:13.269
climbs to his feet, half his movement, but he's

00:30:13.269 --> 00:30:16.089
still got actions to go. Bonus action to heal

00:30:16.089 --> 00:30:18.309
himself. Normal action, takes a scimitar and

00:30:18.309 --> 00:30:23.569
swings at you. Don't forget, now I've got both

00:30:23.569 --> 00:30:26.789
my weapons out, so I have an extra plus one to

00:30:26.789 --> 00:30:30.869
AC. Plus one, does that beat a six? Yeah, that

00:30:30.869 --> 00:30:34.349
beats a six. Yeah, this is going great. Okay,

00:30:34.410 --> 00:30:39.910
so he swings at you, goes wide of you. And, right,

00:30:39.990 --> 00:30:42.089
that's all he is going to be able to do this

00:30:42.089 --> 00:30:45.009
round. So, yep, Lauren's actually going to do

00:30:45.009 --> 00:30:47.390
that. All right, sweet. We're back at the top

00:30:47.390 --> 00:30:51.750
of the round with Zebulon. All right. So, this

00:30:51.750 --> 00:30:53.630
guy gets back up in front of Zebulon, takes a

00:30:53.630 --> 00:30:57.069
swing. Why won't you just stay down? And I'm

00:30:57.069 --> 00:31:00.349
going to swing again at this guy, and I'm going

00:31:00.349 --> 00:31:04.230
to turn in one of my buttons. I gave you buttons.

00:31:04.690 --> 00:31:08.680
Yep. All right, all right. I didn't need it for

00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:11.119
that first roll, but that's okay. You guys and

00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:14.319
your rolls. Why are my rolls so bad? So 21 hits

00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:18.099
the first attack. Yeah, it does. Ooh, second

00:31:18.099 --> 00:31:22.059
attack's a 24. Nice. That hits two. Still get

00:31:22.059 --> 00:31:24.859
sneak attack, you joke. No, I don't. Oh, max

00:31:24.859 --> 00:31:29.640
damage for the first swing, 11. Ooh, 11 damage

00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:33.319
in the first swing. Oh, my God. Max again, eight

00:31:33.319 --> 00:31:37.059
for the second swing. Holy shit. You get him,

00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:40.700
kid. Yeah. Zebulon just like, I don't even, maybe

00:31:40.700 --> 00:31:42.660
the, oh, no, he got up because he got to swing,

00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:44.960
but he's still, maybe he's off balance. I don't

00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:48.839
know. And Zebulon just gets two perfect, just

00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.640
great licks right down this guy's sides. Well,

00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:55.779
this goblin was thoroughly, thoroughly unimpressive

00:31:55.779 --> 00:32:00.200
in so, so, so many ways. He stands up. He tries

00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:02.500
to swing at you again. He's off his guard. You

00:32:02.500 --> 00:32:05.069
just come in with both your blades. God, this

00:32:05.069 --> 00:32:11.910
guy down so fast once more. He just... And just

00:32:11.910 --> 00:32:14.809
falls backwards again. And then Zebulon does

00:32:14.809 --> 00:32:17.430
a little bonus action, disengage and shuffles

00:32:17.430 --> 00:32:22.150
back and levels his blades at the remaining two

00:32:22.150 --> 00:32:28.569
combatants. Who's next? Okay, okay. I'm going

00:32:28.569 --> 00:32:30.670
to turn over to Chester and say, I like this

00:32:30.670 --> 00:32:37.390
dude. Wow. That was heroic. That was cool. I

00:32:37.390 --> 00:32:41.990
hated it. Jules. Chester, that's you. The Haringan

00:32:41.990 --> 00:32:44.890
is still prone. Being prone actually means range

00:32:44.890 --> 00:32:47.829
attacks are a disadvantage, though. That's fine.

00:32:47.930 --> 00:32:49.809
I think Chester's going to run at him anyway.

00:32:50.029 --> 00:32:51.309
Yeah, that means I could have gotten advantage.

00:32:51.710 --> 00:32:54.430
I mean, he's prone, so I think Chester's going

00:32:54.430 --> 00:32:57.170
to use this opportunity to run in. Okay. Moving

00:32:57.170 --> 00:33:00.410
up. I hope I don't regret it. Oh, you'll regret

00:33:00.410 --> 00:33:03.279
it. That's fine, though. Was his movement 30?

00:33:03.400 --> 00:33:06.079
Oh, I can reach it. You might not be able to

00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:07.339
reach him exactly, but you might be able to get

00:33:07.339 --> 00:33:09.680
close this turn. You can double move to get right

00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:11.359
up to him, but you wouldn't be able to hit. Yeah,

00:33:11.380 --> 00:33:14.359
I'll fuck that. Get halfway and then do a slingshot.

00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:16.680
Yeah, I'm not sending Chester in there. Yeah,

00:33:16.859 --> 00:33:19.400
it's still disadvantage though. Right. Either

00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:22.180
way. You could go for the other guy. He's also

00:33:22.180 --> 00:33:24.319
30. They're both about 35 away. Oh, right, but

00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:26.779
he could still swing his sling at him. That's

00:33:26.779 --> 00:33:28.910
true. True. That's true. You can? Yeah, let's

00:33:28.910 --> 00:33:30.170
go with that. And I don't want to get too meta,

00:33:30.269 --> 00:33:33.250
but if you're in range, then I get sneak attack

00:33:33.250 --> 00:33:36.190
damage. Yeah, let's do that. So he's got to move

00:33:36.190 --> 00:33:37.730
up in order for me to get that. If he's within

00:33:37.730 --> 00:33:41.289
five feet, then I get it. But even if you're

00:33:41.289 --> 00:33:44.450
just moving in that direction... Okay. Okay?

00:33:44.589 --> 00:33:48.029
Yeah. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Chester's going

00:33:48.029 --> 00:33:50.690
in. Okay. Which one's Chester? Yellow? Yellow.

00:33:50.730 --> 00:33:52.309
Yellow is Chester, yes. All right, so you said

00:33:52.309 --> 00:33:55.210
I can get within five feet? You can get... You

00:33:55.210 --> 00:33:56.950
can get, like, halfway, probably. You can get

00:33:56.950 --> 00:33:59.049
to about here. So you're very close. You just

00:33:59.049 --> 00:34:00.549
need to move, like, basically five more feet

00:34:00.549 --> 00:34:02.069
next round to get it up to him. All right, cool.

00:34:03.930 --> 00:34:08.090
That's an eight. Eight to hit? Yep. Eight will

00:34:08.090 --> 00:34:11.110
not hit this turtle. I cannot believe that I

00:34:11.110 --> 00:34:13.389
just sent Chester into his death. Hey, Chester's

00:34:13.389 --> 00:34:15.909
bold. He's acting on his own, you know? I don't

00:34:15.909 --> 00:34:17.710
think this is him following Jules' orders. This

00:34:17.710 --> 00:34:20.110
is Chester like, ah, shit, I got him, Jules.

00:34:20.369 --> 00:34:22.269
I get in there, too. And he just runs forward,

00:34:22.329 --> 00:34:23.690
and you're probably just like, what are you doing?

00:34:24.010 --> 00:34:26.489
Zebulon's got his back. Does he? That's true.

00:34:27.130 --> 00:34:32.909
This is so not over yet. Which makes it my turn.

00:34:33.630 --> 00:34:35.510
Is it? No, sorry. Jules' turn. Jules, you're

00:34:35.510 --> 00:34:38.349
up. Yeah. Get in there, Jules, before I skip

00:34:38.349 --> 00:34:41.650
you. Shit, I can't really do much either. Tricky

00:34:41.650 --> 00:34:43.530
spot. Not at this distance. You got to get closer,

00:34:43.610 --> 00:34:46.309
yeah. Yeah, you're 35 away from both of them.

00:34:46.329 --> 00:34:49.349
I'm just going to get close. Yeah. That's all

00:34:49.349 --> 00:34:51.650
I can do. You want to double move and get all

00:34:51.650 --> 00:34:55.809
the way up to them? No. No? Okay. No. I don't

00:34:55.809 --> 00:34:59.869
want to deliberately put myself right next to...

00:34:59.869 --> 00:35:03.449
As Jules is running up, Sepion will say, Jules,

00:35:03.650 --> 00:35:06.630
or whoever you are, because I don't remember

00:35:06.630 --> 00:35:10.050
if I know your name or not yet, leave a path.

00:35:11.849 --> 00:35:13.630
Basically just saying don't stand right in front

00:35:13.630 --> 00:35:17.150
of him. Okay. That's badass. All right. I like

00:35:17.150 --> 00:35:20.650
it, Zim. Okay. So move where you want to move,

00:35:20.670 --> 00:35:23.250
and then I'm going to go. I'm moving right next

00:35:23.250 --> 00:35:25.260
to Chester. Okay. Here's what I'm going to do,

00:35:25.340 --> 00:35:28.239
actually. So I'm going to step over onto his

00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:30.320
space. He just kind of looks at him. And at first

00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:32.000
I think maybe he puts his hand up like he's going

00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:34.119
to heal him and then just kind of scoffs. It's

00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:38.440
like, pathetic. And he reaches down. And rather

00:35:38.440 --> 00:35:40.480
than healing him, he just uses a quick object

00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:43.300
interaction to snag the shield off the ground

00:35:43.300 --> 00:35:45.840
and bring it up with him. He's got a spear in

00:35:45.840 --> 00:35:48.360
one hand, shield in the other. Now we're going

00:35:48.360 --> 00:35:51.659
to get serious. With that, I guess I'm going

00:35:51.659 --> 00:35:54.980
to step forward and I'm going to attack. Chester,

00:35:54.980 --> 00:35:58.219
who is the closest? So that is going to be a...

00:35:58.219 --> 00:36:02.480
That is going to be a natural 20. Oh, no. That

00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:03.960
is going to be a natural 20 on Chester. You might

00:36:03.960 --> 00:36:05.940
have sent Chester into his death. I told you.

00:36:05.980 --> 00:36:08.119
Oh, boy, Chester's just, like, talking tough,

00:36:08.519 --> 00:36:11.139
and this thing just comes forward. This tortle

00:36:11.139 --> 00:36:13.159
just comes forward, grabs that shield, and just

00:36:13.159 --> 00:36:18.300
with, like, this absolute haughty arrogance easily

00:36:18.300 --> 00:36:22.019
just jabs forward right deep into Chester. I'm

00:36:22.019 --> 00:36:26.630
going to roll some damage on that. Okay, Chester

00:36:26.630 --> 00:36:30.449
just took nine points of damage. Chester is unconscious

00:36:30.449 --> 00:36:33.610
and dying. He's unconscious, yeah. Yeah, so you

00:36:33.610 --> 00:36:36.409
just see the tip of the spear punch through Chester's

00:36:36.409 --> 00:36:38.929
shoulder or something, rip out, and Chester just,

00:36:39.030 --> 00:36:43.190
ah, Jules, and just drops to the ground unconscious.

00:36:44.050 --> 00:36:50.389
Each group has lost one. 2v2 right now, and the

00:36:50.389 --> 00:36:54.389
Haringan is up. And he's able to stand up now.

00:36:55.039 --> 00:36:56.719
Last turn he had to waste the whole time, but

00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:59.559
this turn, oh, he's able to move. That first

00:36:59.559 --> 00:37:02.719
thing I do, he's just like, that wasn't very

00:37:02.719 --> 00:37:07.340
funny. That wasn't very funny! And he goes into

00:37:07.340 --> 00:37:13.099
a rage. Oh, no. Fuck. Oh, yeah. And he is moving

00:37:13.099 --> 00:37:15.280
up on Zebulon. Wait, isn't standing up his move

00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:18.599
action? Half his move action. Yep. When you're

00:37:18.599 --> 00:37:21.139
prone, it's half your movement to stand up. Oh,

00:37:21.139 --> 00:37:24.440
my gosh, these rolls. Okay. Yeah, that's not

00:37:24.440 --> 00:37:26.559
going to hit. Sweet. Yeah, that's going to be

00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:29.860
an eight to hit. All right, he just comes running

00:37:29.860 --> 00:37:33.639
at you. Just clumsily starts swinging around.

00:37:33.780 --> 00:37:37.460
You see his rabbit eyes are just gone wild and

00:37:37.460 --> 00:37:40.119
mad. He's just swinging crazily at you, and you're

00:37:40.119 --> 00:37:42.739
easily able to dodge out of the way. You've practiced

00:37:42.739 --> 00:37:47.480
this. Okay, yeah, and that is all of my guys

00:37:47.480 --> 00:37:49.320
now, and we're back to the top of the round with

00:37:49.320 --> 00:37:53.519
Zebulon. Okay, Chester's down. This isn't great.

00:37:54.079 --> 00:37:59.119
I'm going to, excuse me, Zebulon's going to take

00:37:59.119 --> 00:38:03.019
two swings on this rabbit guy. Okay. Give me

00:38:03.019 --> 00:38:07.920
those hits. So first swing's a 19. 19 will hit.

00:38:08.019 --> 00:38:14.159
Nice. 19 will hit. Second swing's a 17. 17 will

00:38:14.159 --> 00:38:17.420
also hit. Oh, nice. Yeah, it does. It also hits.

00:38:17.420 --> 00:38:20.420
Damn. Oh, my God. Dude, Zeb's on fire. He's unarmored.

00:38:20.420 --> 00:38:22.179
Yeah, you're just like, Zebulon is shredding

00:38:22.179 --> 00:38:24.699
these guys up. Yeah. So give me that damage.

00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:26.380
I don't know who you guys are, but you better

00:38:26.380 --> 00:38:30.860
stay away. Seven damage on the first roll. Okay.

00:38:32.179 --> 00:38:35.480
Max, eight damage on the second roll. Okay. So

00:38:35.480 --> 00:38:38.800
that is 15 total damage. Yeah. You go to swipe

00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:40.219
this thing, and I think your swords, like, hit

00:38:40.219 --> 00:38:42.659
it. And it's almost like the muscles themselves,

00:38:42.820 --> 00:38:45.079
they're, like, contracting as this thing's raging.

00:38:45.380 --> 00:38:48.980
It feels like it doesn't all get through. But

00:38:48.980 --> 00:38:51.960
you cut into this thing. It's, like, not fully.

00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:54.059
damaging him, but you definitely feel like you

00:38:54.059 --> 00:38:58.300
sink in a bit. And I'm going to bonus action

00:38:58.300 --> 00:39:04.320
disengage and come back this way, but yeah, I'll

00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:08.820
go right next to Jules. Okay, but not right up

00:39:08.820 --> 00:39:12.219
in the Tortle's business. Correct. Gotcha. Okay.

00:39:13.019 --> 00:39:15.400
And that brings us to Chester. Chester, I want

00:39:15.400 --> 00:39:18.829
you to roll a death save. I'm going to need another

00:39:18.829 --> 00:39:22.949
pour of that bottle soon. This is tense. Can

00:39:22.949 --> 00:39:25.570
I use one of my buttons on Chester, or does it

00:39:25.570 --> 00:39:29.030
have to be one of Jules' rolls? I think, yeah,

00:39:29.070 --> 00:39:31.530
your buttons can be used on your individual sidekicks.

00:39:31.570 --> 00:39:34.369
So for you, that would be Chester. You share

00:39:34.369 --> 00:39:36.889
them. Son of a bitch, you're taking my buttons

00:39:36.889 --> 00:39:39.590
back. Hell yeah. So what, straight up advantage?

00:39:39.969 --> 00:39:42.050
Straight up advantage. If he rolls a 20, he gets

00:39:42.050 --> 00:39:46.000
back up with one HP. That's a 14. That's a pass.

00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:48.019
Let me see if we get a 20. Let's see what we

00:39:48.019 --> 00:39:52.059
get. Nope. Nope. Okay. I'm not even going to

00:39:52.059 --> 00:39:56.159
say that one. 14. It's one point towards stabilizing,

00:39:56.239 --> 00:39:59.079
so Chestner might just be okay. You wrap things

00:39:59.079 --> 00:40:01.659
up fast. You might be able to heal him. Well,

00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:05.559
that's his turn, and now you're up, Jules. So,

00:40:05.579 --> 00:40:08.300
hey. Yeah. So I'm within 10 feet of this guy,

00:40:08.380 --> 00:40:11.559
right? You're within 5 feet of this guy. Cool.

00:40:12.920 --> 00:40:15.639
Guess what? What? What are you doing? Inflict

00:40:15.639 --> 00:40:19.199
wounds. Oh, yeah, man. That's what we needed.

00:40:19.400 --> 00:40:23.099
You got his AC, though, right? Yep, on the hit.

00:40:23.260 --> 00:40:25.599
Let's just say it's going to be a little tricky.

00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:28.019
Yeah, he picked up the shield, too. Son of a

00:40:28.019 --> 00:40:30.420
bitch. I didn't give him the shield for balance

00:40:30.420 --> 00:40:32.920
reasons. And then I was like, fuck balance reasons.

00:40:32.920 --> 00:40:35.579
I'm taking my shield. Straight up nat 20 to grab

00:40:35.579 --> 00:40:37.500
it. Right, for real. He's probably got like an

00:40:37.500 --> 00:40:41.250
18 AC. That won't do it. fuck all right so you

00:40:41.250 --> 00:40:44.809
go to like try to grab at him and uh ping he

00:40:44.809 --> 00:40:46.630
just kind of like puts a shield in the way blocks

00:40:46.630 --> 00:40:52.710
your attack it's nice try um damn hell yeah this

00:40:52.710 --> 00:40:55.670
is hype uh i think it's my round and guess what

00:40:55.670 --> 00:40:59.510
chicken butt fucking goblin that is now like

00:40:59.510 --> 00:41:02.570
beneath the the feet of this of this turtle this

00:41:02.570 --> 00:41:05.849
goblin gets back up with one hp barely alive

00:41:06.889 --> 00:41:08.250
Well, the natural 20 on his death save. I'm going

00:41:08.250 --> 00:41:10.829
to put that guy back down so fast. Oh, just you

00:41:10.829 --> 00:41:13.030
wait and see. This is very quickly turning into

00:41:13.030 --> 00:41:16.789
Zebulon show. Jules and Chester are just unprepared

00:41:16.789 --> 00:41:19.030
for this. You know what? I can move to Zebulon

00:41:19.030 --> 00:41:22.289
without taking an AOO, and this goblin hates

00:41:22.289 --> 00:41:26.190
you. Yeah. He's going for you. Okay. Okay. Great.

00:41:26.409 --> 00:41:30.230
Let's do some damage. All right. Okay. I think

00:41:30.230 --> 00:41:34.109
I might hit this time with a 17. That ties. Oh,

00:41:34.109 --> 00:41:36.349
yes. Okay. I actually do. This is the thing.

00:41:36.369 --> 00:41:38.230
I haven't actually done damage to you yet. Yeah,

00:41:38.409 --> 00:41:40.570
I know. I'm a little nervous about it now. That

00:41:40.570 --> 00:41:43.670
is going to be six points of slashing damage.

00:41:43.750 --> 00:41:47.789
Ouch. As a scimitar just comes at you. You just

00:41:47.789 --> 00:41:49.389
kind of see him suddenly abruptly out of nowhere.

00:41:50.159 --> 00:41:51.800
Breaks out of his sort of unconscious state.

00:41:52.039 --> 00:41:55.199
Goes into like a roll, into like a sort of run

00:41:55.199 --> 00:41:58.860
right towards you. Eyes furious. Like, you little

00:41:58.860 --> 00:42:02.380
bitch! And just slices at you. And Zebulon goes

00:42:02.380 --> 00:42:04.619
down to a knee for a second. That's almost half

00:42:04.619 --> 00:42:07.440
his HP. He's only got 14 HP right now. This is

00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:10.440
tense. So six of that. Yeah, that's it. That's

00:42:10.440 --> 00:42:13.099
all I'm going to do with him. Luckily, he's not

00:42:13.099 --> 00:42:17.199
my only card to play because I made a mistake.

00:42:17.260 --> 00:42:20.099
He goes third, but that's okay. I forgot. It's

00:42:20.099 --> 00:42:23.559
the tortle first. Who's going to go for jewels?

00:42:24.500 --> 00:42:27.639
So, tortles moving up. He's going to, I guess,

00:42:27.679 --> 00:42:29.940
branch the spear again and just go for the hit.

00:42:30.159 --> 00:42:35.820
Here we go. That looks like a hit to me. What

00:42:35.820 --> 00:42:46.590
you got? 20 to hit. No. Is that so? Very little

00:42:46.590 --> 00:42:48.210
damage. Well, actually no, that's a good roll,

00:42:48.429 --> 00:42:50.030
just not good to hit or bonus on that, but he

00:42:50.030 --> 00:42:53.989
gets six points damage on you. Oh no. Oh, jeez.

00:42:54.030 --> 00:42:56.090
That's more than half of his. Yeah, that's pretty

00:42:56.090 --> 00:42:57.889
bad. It's rough. It's rough. The goblin has no

00:42:57.889 --> 00:42:59.869
shield now. Remember, he's a lot more open than

00:42:59.869 --> 00:43:03.710
before. Yeah. But this isn't great. These guys

00:43:03.710 --> 00:43:08.969
are back up, back at it. You have buttons. Don't

00:43:08.969 --> 00:43:11.050
forget. Yeah. You may have abilities you haven't

00:43:11.050 --> 00:43:13.239
thought of yet. This shit's going down. Level

00:43:13.239 --> 00:43:16.719
two rogue. I'm pretty much tapped out. Haringan

00:43:16.719 --> 00:43:20.300
Barbarian is... Gosh, who am I attacking with?

00:43:20.300 --> 00:43:23.659
I guess I'm going for Zeb as well. You guys are

00:43:23.659 --> 00:43:25.940
just suddenly back to back, surrounded by these

00:43:25.940 --> 00:43:28.500
three guys. I love this image. Chester's on the

00:43:28.500 --> 00:43:31.760
ground, bleeding out. Jules and Zebulon both

00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:33.380
suddenly back to back, turning away from each

00:43:33.380 --> 00:43:35.900
other. You got these three guys all around you,

00:43:36.019 --> 00:43:40.119
just hammering down on you hard. I'm going to

00:43:40.119 --> 00:43:46.429
roll an attack on you. And that is a 16. 16 misses.

00:43:46.570 --> 00:43:49.130
Okay. With that extra plus one AC for the two

00:43:49.130 --> 00:43:51.469
swords. You parry it. Yeah. You literally, he

00:43:51.469 --> 00:43:52.829
goes to his club and you like, you just like,

00:43:52.889 --> 00:43:56.409
you know, push the cloth to the side. He looks

00:43:56.409 --> 00:44:00.130
astonished as his blow just goes wide of the

00:44:00.130 --> 00:44:03.110
mark. He thought he fucking had you. Yeah. I

00:44:03.110 --> 00:44:04.909
thought he did too. Now it's your turn. All right.

00:44:04.909 --> 00:44:08.920
Sweet. So yeah, Zebulon does that parry. He crosses

00:44:08.920 --> 00:44:12.380
his swords and catches the attack, and he goes

00:44:12.380 --> 00:44:15.059
and makes the first swing at the Haringan. So

00:44:15.059 --> 00:44:18.260
my plan here, if everything goes well, I'm going

00:44:18.260 --> 00:44:21.800
to, if I hit the Haringan, I then want to use

00:44:21.800 --> 00:44:23.780
my second attack on the orc, but we'll see how

00:44:23.780 --> 00:44:27.699
it goes first. Okay, goblin. Sorry, goblin. So

00:44:27.699 --> 00:44:29.840
I'm going to attack the Haringan first, and I'm

00:44:29.840 --> 00:44:33.119
going to turn in my final button. Okay. So I'm

00:44:33.119 --> 00:44:35.539
going to do two attacks, or two rolls on him.

00:44:35.900 --> 00:44:37.960
Okay, let's see those two rolls on this Argon.

00:44:38.500 --> 00:44:40.940
Oh, didn't need it. First one was a 23, but let's

00:44:40.940 --> 00:44:44.639
see if we crit. Did not crit. Okay. That was

00:44:44.639 --> 00:44:46.380
a nat one, so good thing. We'll use the nat one.

00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:48.360
Yeah, okay, that sounds fair. That's a fumble.

00:44:51.539 --> 00:44:55.119
And, ah, shucks. He doesn't get the sneak attack

00:44:55.119 --> 00:44:59.300
because he's, that's okay. Oh, yeah, that's right.

00:44:59.539 --> 00:45:02.260
Damage on that is eight. Eight damage, okay.

00:45:03.019 --> 00:45:06.719
And then, so he'll reach out and attack with

00:45:06.719 --> 00:45:09.039
one hand in front of him towards the Haringan,

00:45:09.119 --> 00:45:11.900
and then pull that attack back, and then turn

00:45:11.900 --> 00:45:15.340
and reach and attack the goblin with the other

00:45:15.340 --> 00:45:18.340
hand. Hell yeah. Yeah, right now we have the

00:45:18.340 --> 00:45:20.579
goblin and the Haringan are just right on top

00:45:20.579 --> 00:45:23.420
of Zebulon, who's right next to Jules. Jules

00:45:23.420 --> 00:45:26.739
is facing the tortle. It's a big cluster of people

00:45:26.739 --> 00:45:29.820
right here. It's wild. What'd you get? So he

00:45:29.820 --> 00:45:33.369
dropped that shield. Drop that shield. 14. 14

00:45:33.369 --> 00:45:36.110
hits. Oh, my God, yes. And he gets the sneak

00:45:36.110 --> 00:45:39.090
attack for this one because the goblin is within

00:45:39.090 --> 00:45:40.750
5 feet of Jules. That's right. Oh, my God, you're

00:45:40.750 --> 00:45:42.190
going to obliterate this goblin. All right, so

00:45:42.190 --> 00:45:45.769
a D8 and a D6. All right. I only got three for

00:45:45.769 --> 00:45:49.969
the D8, three for the D6, so six points. Could

00:45:49.969 --> 00:45:53.110
just overkill this guy, but he drops. Oh, that's

00:45:53.110 --> 00:45:54.869
right. Yeah, he only had one HP because, yeah,

00:45:54.909 --> 00:45:57.230
so I didn't need to use the. Okay. All right.

00:45:57.269 --> 00:45:58.929
Yeah, goblin, but you just turn over and the

00:45:58.929 --> 00:46:01.090
goblin had one last chance to really get you.

00:46:01.130 --> 00:46:03.329
He was just like, and then you just spin around,

00:46:03.530 --> 00:46:07.449
slice, and he turns to make this other attack

00:46:07.449 --> 00:46:09.630
on the goblin. How many times do I have to put

00:46:09.630 --> 00:46:19.170
you down? Yeah, right? And he just drops again.

00:46:20.130 --> 00:46:23.469
I think I'm going to, no, I don't want to leave.

00:46:23.570 --> 00:46:25.610
I was going to bonus action disengage, try to

00:46:25.610 --> 00:46:28.719
get, in range for a sneak attack, but I don't

00:46:28.719 --> 00:46:32.679
want to leave jewels open to attack. So I think

00:46:32.679 --> 00:46:35.960
I'm just going to stand tall and try to finish

00:46:35.960 --> 00:46:39.980
him off this way. Okay. Cool. That's the end

00:46:39.980 --> 00:46:42.659
of my turn. All right now, Chester. I'm going

00:46:42.659 --> 00:46:46.880
to need that death roll. Let's do it. That's

00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:50.119
a fail. That's a fail. One up, one down. And

00:46:50.119 --> 00:46:52.300
all you listeners out there, I know it might

00:46:52.300 --> 00:46:54.059
seem a little strange that my baddies are getting

00:46:54.059 --> 00:46:57.449
death saves. Trust me. There's a little something

00:46:57.449 --> 00:47:01.409
going on here. So anyway, with that being said,

00:47:01.670 --> 00:47:04.449
that's my turn. No, it's your turn. No, it's

00:47:04.449 --> 00:47:07.369
not your turn. Damn it. This is the second time

00:47:07.369 --> 00:47:09.349
you've done this to me. This is some shady shit.

00:47:09.449 --> 00:47:12.170
Why do you have turns? Explain yourself. Because

00:47:12.170 --> 00:47:14.130
I'm about to do this. Don't you have an initiative

00:47:14.130 --> 00:47:19.969
order? What? It's under my hat. So yes, I'm going

00:47:19.969 --> 00:47:23.809
to... Jules is going to bend down. Okay. And

00:47:23.809 --> 00:47:28.369
put his hands on Chester. Yeah, you can do that.

00:47:28.550 --> 00:47:33.949
Sweet. And he's going to say, Chester, you can

00:47:33.949 --> 00:47:36.469
thank Fibro for his hard work and research for

00:47:36.469 --> 00:47:40.489
this one. And I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on

00:47:40.489 --> 00:47:44.730
him. Hell yeah. Okay, roll me the HP. Is it 1d8

00:47:44.730 --> 00:47:47.550
plus spellcasting ability modifier? I have no

00:47:47.550 --> 00:47:48.929
idea what the fuck that is. I'll be honest. That

00:47:48.929 --> 00:47:50.750
is your charisma plus your proficiency bonus.

00:47:50.989 --> 00:47:55.000
Holy shit. No, wait. In your case, it's probably

00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:57.000
just your charisma bonus. Because it's not your

00:47:57.000 --> 00:48:00.139
two hits. Okay, so that, Jesus Christ, I think

00:48:00.139 --> 00:48:02.739
it's a plus three? Yep, plus three. So it's a

00:48:02.739 --> 00:48:06.980
D8 plus three? Yeah, D8 plus three. Not bad at

00:48:06.980 --> 00:48:09.119
all. We need that third body back in this fight.

00:48:09.380 --> 00:48:12.360
Who the hell's my D8? Is it that one? Yes, it's

00:48:12.360 --> 00:48:19.199
still in the dice tray. Shucks. Let's tell him

00:48:19.199 --> 00:48:21.670
he still gains four. Gee, thanks, Vi, bro. So

00:48:21.670 --> 00:48:27.110
that's four. Next time, try harder. Just the

00:48:27.110 --> 00:48:31.289
beggars can't be choosers, okay? I've been begging

00:48:31.289 --> 00:48:33.070
and choosing all my life. That's probably still,

00:48:33.150 --> 00:48:36.750
what, half his HP? Huh? I said that's probably

00:48:36.750 --> 00:48:39.329
still half his HP. It's half his HP, yeah. Pretty

00:48:39.329 --> 00:48:42.769
much, yeah. Yeah, it is, actually. It is. And

00:48:42.769 --> 00:48:46.409
then after I do that... All right, I'm going

00:48:46.409 --> 00:48:48.769
to turn around to Zebulon here and just say...

00:48:49.549 --> 00:48:53.050
Hey, little dude. Finish this off for us, all

00:48:53.050 --> 00:48:55.070
right? And I'm going to cast Bardic Inspiration.

00:48:55.730 --> 00:49:01.130
Ooh. Bardic Inspiration. That's pretty cool.

00:49:01.309 --> 00:49:03.809
Yeah, that's great. Okay. So you get an additional

00:49:03.809 --> 00:49:07.389
1d6 to an ability check, attack roll, or saving

00:49:07.389 --> 00:49:10.010
throw. Yeah, that's going to be sweet. Wow. That's

00:49:10.010 --> 00:49:11.409
going to be sweet. And you got this fucking invincible

00:49:11.409 --> 00:49:12.989
tortle over here. You're not going to hit him

00:49:12.989 --> 00:49:15.389
without it. Right. Okay. I know. I just got to

00:49:15.389 --> 00:49:18.550
put this Haringon down first. Yeah. He's just

00:49:18.550 --> 00:49:20.449
taking all these blows, and he's getting resistance

00:49:20.449 --> 00:49:24.949
to this damage, and he is a beast. Yeah. Speaking

00:49:24.949 --> 00:49:29.190
of he is a beast, it's the turtle's turn. Dude,

00:49:29.230 --> 00:49:32.090
if you bring that goblin back up one more time,

00:49:32.190 --> 00:49:36.949
I'm going to flip the table. So, you know, I

00:49:36.949 --> 00:49:38.550
won't take an AOO because the goblin's here.

00:49:38.869 --> 00:49:40.630
Jules was right here. I'm right here, so I can

00:49:40.630 --> 00:49:43.630
go one, two, three. Still in Jules' range, no

00:49:43.630 --> 00:49:47.329
AOO. He loops around Jules. and Zebulon to the

00:49:47.329 --> 00:49:50.250
Haringan side. He's going to stand by the Haringan

00:49:50.250 --> 00:49:53.170
side here. And actually... So he's still within

00:49:53.170 --> 00:49:56.030
five of Jules, so he's adjacent to me and the...

00:49:56.030 --> 00:49:59.050
Yeah, he's going to be adjacent to everyone.

00:49:59.409 --> 00:50:01.110
He's within five feet of the Haringan, five feet

00:50:01.110 --> 00:50:03.590
of Zebulon, five feet of Jules, basically standing

00:50:03.590 --> 00:50:05.590
on the corpse of the goblin. He kicks him. He's

00:50:05.590 --> 00:50:08.750
just like, get out of here, you useless slime.

00:50:09.449 --> 00:50:12.710
Then he just turns towards you again, Jules.

00:50:13.550 --> 00:50:16.769
And you, man. Let's see who liked the tip of

00:50:16.769 --> 00:50:22.090
my spear. A friend enjoyed it. And that is a

00:50:22.090 --> 00:50:27.789
15. Yeah. 15 hits. All right, then. Fibro's back

00:50:27.789 --> 00:50:30.449
up. Or not Fibro, sorry. Chester's back up. I

00:50:30.449 --> 00:50:31.829
don't know where he stands. Oh, yeah, he's right

00:50:31.829 --> 00:50:36.789
on. Yeah, right there. Thank you. Okay. That

00:50:36.789 --> 00:50:41.469
is... Ooh, wow. Another six points. I am unconscious.

00:50:41.769 --> 00:50:43.769
Great. Oh, my gosh. That was the unconscious

00:50:43.769 --> 00:50:47.429
point? He only had 11, yeah. Wow. Yep. I didn't

00:50:47.429 --> 00:50:50.809
realize. Damn. Yeah, so he punches through you

00:50:50.809 --> 00:50:54.429
again. Jules, you brought Chester back and then

00:50:54.429 --> 00:50:56.690
dropped. Chester is not within five feet of anybody,

00:50:56.789 --> 00:50:59.150
though. Chester can get out of there. I think,

00:50:59.250 --> 00:51:01.929
right? He just said, I didn't even realize. Like,

00:51:01.929 --> 00:51:03.469
you didn't fucking know what you were doing.

00:51:03.590 --> 00:51:06.730
Right, yeah, yeah. So tense. Another six, he

00:51:06.730 --> 00:51:08.849
said. He said another. He knew he already did

00:51:08.849 --> 00:51:13.630
one six. We're second level. Yeah, well. Maybe

00:51:13.630 --> 00:51:20.389
you should have tried harder. Oh, boy. Okay.

00:51:20.510 --> 00:51:24.190
So I'm going to make an attack with my Harngon

00:51:24.190 --> 00:51:27.789
onto you, Zeb. Great. Yep. Zeb's ready for it.

00:51:27.889 --> 00:51:32.210
That is another 16. Doesn't hit. Okay. No way.

00:51:32.329 --> 00:51:36.230
Thank goodness. So close. Jeez, Zeb is an MVP.

00:51:36.309 --> 00:51:38.849
I love it, too. It's another parry. He's coming

00:51:38.849 --> 00:51:40.809
down on you so hard. You keep ting -ting parrying

00:51:40.809 --> 00:51:43.860
these blows off of you. He's somehow keeping

00:51:43.860 --> 00:51:46.360
his cool. I mean, like, you know, he's so new

00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:49.320
to combat. Yeah. But he's been running drills

00:51:49.320 --> 00:51:54.059
with Arhuan, and he's chill. Wow. He's on his

00:51:54.059 --> 00:51:57.480
game. Ready and waiting for this. Yeah. Although

00:51:57.480 --> 00:52:00.500
Steven's not chill. This is a pretty bad situation.

00:52:00.739 --> 00:52:06.179
It is. It is. Yeah. You have Chester. Yeah, great.

00:52:06.179 --> 00:52:07.980
You have someone. Yeah, I got a guy who does

00:52:07.980 --> 00:52:15.340
a D4. Dare you. What do you want to do? Because

00:52:15.340 --> 00:52:18.019
it's your turn. Yeah, really the only thing that

00:52:18.019 --> 00:52:21.760
makes sense. Well, Jeremy, let me run this by

00:52:21.760 --> 00:52:23.980
you. I've got my breath weapon that I can try

00:52:23.980 --> 00:52:26.420
because I know that this guy, he's not taking

00:52:26.420 --> 00:52:31.780
all the damage to the swords. Okay. But it's

00:52:31.780 --> 00:52:37.099
not a huge save. He only has to get a 10 for

00:52:37.099 --> 00:52:41.280
a dex save. And he's a Haringan. I mean, he's

00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:44.460
a barbarian, so... You sure about that 10? Oh,

00:52:44.460 --> 00:52:46.280
yeah, you have terrible stats. I forgot you're

00:52:46.280 --> 00:52:49.619
a bad character. I mean, he's the only one that's

00:52:49.619 --> 00:52:54.019
still... DC for this is 8 plus your constitution

00:52:54.019 --> 00:52:56.719
modifier plus your proficiency bonus. You have

00:52:56.719 --> 00:53:01.360
no... Yeah, okay, so 10. Yep. Yeah. Damn. That's

00:53:01.360 --> 00:53:04.599
rough, man. Yep, sure is rough. So I think I'm

00:53:04.599 --> 00:53:07.619
just going to go for the safer bet and swing

00:53:07.619 --> 00:53:10.539
two swords at him again. Okay. First one's a

00:53:10.539 --> 00:53:14.820
miss. That's just a nine. That's a miss. Second

00:53:14.820 --> 00:53:17.840
one's a miss. Two nines. We are fucked. Oh, boy.

00:53:18.000 --> 00:53:22.260
Yeah. Wow. And I really don't want to take my

00:53:22.260 --> 00:53:24.559
bonus action disengage because then Chester will

00:53:24.559 --> 00:53:25.739
be dead. Well, the bonus action actually is the

00:53:25.739 --> 00:53:27.980
second hit. Not with the feet. Oh, it's not.

00:53:28.079 --> 00:53:30.199
Okay, gotcha, gotcha. Right, right. Okay, well,

00:53:30.219 --> 00:53:34.199
Chester goes next, so. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

00:53:34.280 --> 00:53:38.320
If I bonus action disengage, then we'll leave

00:53:38.320 --> 00:53:41.719
Jules to die. Let's try to fight this out, I

00:53:41.719 --> 00:53:43.599
guess. This is horse shit. That's what you want

00:53:43.599 --> 00:53:47.619
to do? Yeah, I mean, it's either bet it all and

00:53:47.619 --> 00:53:52.360
try to get these guys down or leave Jules behind.

00:53:52.820 --> 00:53:54.139
All right, and that's what's going to happen.

00:53:54.860 --> 00:53:57.699
You're standing your ground, and that's going

00:53:57.699 --> 00:54:00.440
to be Chester. Who's he closer to? Let me take

00:54:00.440 --> 00:54:03.500
a look. He's closer to the rabbit. Remember,

00:54:03.599 --> 00:54:05.179
he gets a higher modifier in his range attacks.

00:54:05.739 --> 00:54:08.179
Right. Is he at any disadvantage because he's

00:54:08.179 --> 00:54:11.099
close? You'd take an AOA at this point because

00:54:11.099 --> 00:54:12.920
you're within five feet of the Haringan. Oh,

00:54:12.920 --> 00:54:14.760
that's true. Yeah, you could disengage to not

00:54:14.760 --> 00:54:17.880
take that or you could attempt the AOA. It's

00:54:17.880 --> 00:54:20.280
up to you. Pretty sure he has terrible AC because

00:54:20.280 --> 00:54:22.960
he's not armored. Really bad. But you could disengage,

00:54:22.980 --> 00:54:26.179
get away, and... Son of a bitch. This doesn't

00:54:26.179 --> 00:54:28.300
look good. No, it doesn't. Not at all. It's tough.

00:54:28.659 --> 00:54:32.500
You got one button. I know. All right, I'm going

00:54:32.500 --> 00:54:35.000
to come at him with my dagger. Or Chester's dagger.

00:54:35.420 --> 00:54:38.610
Okay. All right, going for the bunny. Yeah, that's

00:54:38.610 --> 00:54:44.550
the only one you're adjacent to, so. It's a 15.

00:54:45.329 --> 00:54:50.429
15 on the bunny is a hit. Oh, sweet. Yep. That's

00:54:50.429 --> 00:54:52.929
a hit. Give it to us. Give it to us. I totally

00:54:52.929 --> 00:54:54.610
forgot. I was totally going to use a button there,

00:54:54.670 --> 00:54:56.690
but I didn't. Hey, good thing. Yeah, you know

00:54:56.690 --> 00:55:03.530
what? Good. So it's 1d4 plus 2. That's a 5. Nice.

00:55:03.550 --> 00:55:07.110
5 damage. Okay. He's actually still up, but he

00:55:07.110 --> 00:55:10.150
looks fine. It's something. He looks bad. He's

00:55:10.150 --> 00:55:15.030
finally kind of like wearing down. His fur's

00:55:15.030 --> 00:55:16.489
getting disheveled. He's just swinging around

00:55:16.489 --> 00:55:18.730
madly, but his swings are starting to slow. He's

00:55:18.730 --> 00:55:23.690
starting to bleed into his gray fur. But yeah,

00:55:23.809 --> 00:55:27.769
he's still able to attack. And now it's the turtle's

00:55:27.769 --> 00:55:30.929
turn. How do I want to do this? Who do I want

00:55:30.929 --> 00:55:33.449
to kill you? Yeah, okay. I'm going to go for

00:55:33.449 --> 00:55:35.769
you, Zebulon. Because I can't quite do that thing.

00:55:35.909 --> 00:55:39.559
Wait. I have to make a death saving throw. That's

00:55:39.559 --> 00:55:41.639
right. You do. You do. That's right. We don't

00:55:41.639 --> 00:55:44.840
pass Jules' turn. It's so important. I should

00:55:44.840 --> 00:55:48.760
have just let that slide. Oh, my gosh. I don't

00:55:48.760 --> 00:55:50.639
want to be let slide. I was going to say, yeah.

00:55:50.980 --> 00:55:53.960
It's not going to go away. Give me that death

00:55:53.960 --> 00:55:58.599
roll. That's a two. Okay. Yikes. That's one fail.

00:55:58.699 --> 00:56:02.159
One down. One fail. One down. Okay. Zebra, roll

00:56:02.159 --> 00:56:06.079
me an insight check. Okay. Oh, you mean at minus

00:56:06.079 --> 00:56:09.579
three? Yeah. So that's 11. Okay, that's actually

00:56:09.579 --> 00:56:13.900
enough. Looking for DC 10. So you do see that

00:56:13.900 --> 00:56:16.019
as Jules is kind of, like, on the ground bleeding

00:56:16.019 --> 00:56:17.739
out. The rabbit's just losing his mind, swinging

00:56:17.739 --> 00:56:21.440
around like a madman. The tortle actually glances

00:56:21.440 --> 00:56:23.519
down at Jules' body, looking kind of nervously.

00:56:24.239 --> 00:56:27.539
Like, bites his lip a little bit. And then turns

00:56:27.539 --> 00:56:30.039
back to you, and he looks like he's, like, going

00:56:30.039 --> 00:56:32.320
into this fast. Like, I gotta end this quick.

00:56:32.820 --> 00:56:38.059
So I'm gonna go attack you. And he was rushing

00:56:38.059 --> 00:56:41.280
too much because that is a natural six. That's

00:56:41.280 --> 00:56:44.199
not going to hit. Okay. So he just goes, I'll

00:56:44.199 --> 00:56:46.300
swing at you. This is completely. I'm having

00:56:46.300 --> 00:56:51.199
a hard time. Like, was he sent here by, by whoever

00:56:51.199 --> 00:56:54.420
called us? And he's like, oh shit, this is going

00:56:54.420 --> 00:56:58.559
bad. Or is he saying this fight's been drawing

00:56:58.559 --> 00:57:01.559
on too long. Somebody's on their way. It's tough.

00:57:02.059 --> 00:57:05.139
You don't know. Maybe he knows who I am. Right,

00:57:05.239 --> 00:57:08.420
and it's like, I could draw out the battle by

00:57:08.420 --> 00:57:11.659
disengaging and just running in circles kind

00:57:11.659 --> 00:57:14.679
of thing, but like I said, then Chester will

00:57:14.679 --> 00:57:19.059
certainly die. Right. I mean, if this table talk

00:57:19.059 --> 00:57:21.440
is not allowed, I can absolutely cut it. No,

00:57:21.460 --> 00:57:23.420
I think it's fine. Yeah, it's cool. But, I mean,

00:57:23.420 --> 00:57:26.079
what I got from that is almost like he doesn't

00:57:26.079 --> 00:57:29.320
want to kill me. Right. Like he's like, shit,

00:57:29.360 --> 00:57:32.480
I fucked up. Yeah, exactly. I kind of think the

00:57:32.480 --> 00:57:35.539
only way out is through. So I'm going to keep

00:57:35.539 --> 00:57:38.420
pushing through this Haringan. And I'm going

00:57:38.420 --> 00:57:40.820
to... The Haringan actually does go before you

00:57:40.820 --> 00:57:43.239
go. Oh, crap. Actually, while you're talking,

00:57:43.300 --> 00:57:46.199
I did roll an attack on Chester. On Chester.

00:57:46.280 --> 00:57:48.500
And I rolled a natural too. Okay, great. So the

00:57:48.500 --> 00:57:51.000
Haringan is just losing his mind. He's not thinking

00:57:51.000 --> 00:57:52.420
at all. He's just bashing at the ground. And

00:57:52.420 --> 00:57:54.659
Chester is sort of definitely dodging side to

00:57:54.659 --> 00:57:57.480
side, weaving around his attacks. And now you're

00:57:57.480 --> 00:57:59.559
up, Zebulon. Okay, now I'm going to take my two

00:57:59.559 --> 00:58:02.719
swings at this guy. Okay. First one does not

00:58:02.719 --> 00:58:05.199
hit. Still have one button, right? Uh, nope.

00:58:05.280 --> 00:58:07.500
I gave them both to you. Oh. But I don't need

00:58:07.500 --> 00:58:10.000
it. The second one is a 20, a dirty 20 to hit.

00:58:10.400 --> 00:58:13.300
Nice. Dirty 20 will hit. So I get that D8 plus

00:58:13.300 --> 00:58:17.159
a D6 because we got Chester nearby. Ooh, max

00:58:17.159 --> 00:58:20.039
on the D8. So we got 8 plus. Shit, that's right.

00:58:20.099 --> 00:58:22.840
You got the sneak attack. 8 plus 5. Fuck yeah.

00:58:23.159 --> 00:58:24.659
Hell yeah. What's it look like when you drop

00:58:24.659 --> 00:58:27.900
this bunny? Um, yeah. There's just all this frustration.

00:58:28.460 --> 00:58:30.039
He's been swinging at this guy, swinging at this

00:58:30.039 --> 00:58:33.800
guy. He missed a couple of times. And, uh. Finally

00:58:33.800 --> 00:58:39.519
says, just leave me and my friends alone. And

00:58:39.519 --> 00:58:42.280
swings twice and hits him on the second hit.

00:58:42.840 --> 00:58:45.659
Yeah, he's swinging and he barely sort of like

00:58:45.659 --> 00:58:48.579
weaves out of the way. He's just like madly swinging

00:58:48.579 --> 00:58:51.960
around. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm

00:58:51.960 --> 00:58:55.039
sorry. And then you just come in hard and like

00:58:55.039 --> 00:58:57.599
get him. Where do you get him? Why does he say

00:58:57.599 --> 00:59:01.239
I'm sorry? He's being crazy. He's just moving

00:59:01.239 --> 00:59:06.699
around. Oh, my God. Makes it sound like you just

00:59:06.699 --> 00:59:10.260
murdered somebody innocent. I know, yeah. I don't

00:59:10.260 --> 00:59:12.619
like that at all. Well, I guess if he's swinging

00:59:12.619 --> 00:59:15.960
wild and he's got his arms high, then Zeb strikes

00:59:15.960 --> 00:59:17.840
him kind of like under his arm, like in his pit

00:59:17.840 --> 00:59:22.599
sort of area. Yeah, yeah. Slash right into his

00:59:22.599 --> 00:59:25.699
pit, right across his chest as you kind of sweep

00:59:25.699 --> 00:59:29.400
right through him. And he just finally drops.

00:59:29.460 --> 00:59:31.659
Still, you know, muscles taut, muscles tough,

00:59:31.800 --> 00:59:35.500
but, you know. And then this time, he's going

00:59:35.500 --> 00:59:39.719
to bonus action disengage and stand next to Chester.

00:59:40.940 --> 00:59:43.940
Okay. Facing the turtle. Yeah, the worst part

00:59:43.940 --> 00:59:46.210
is I could have. Could have done something there,

00:59:46.329 --> 00:59:48.650
but I think the tortle isn't... You could have

00:59:48.650 --> 00:59:50.289
healed the Haringan. Yeah, that's why you went

00:59:50.289 --> 00:59:51.869
next to him. No, not that. There's actually something

00:59:51.869 --> 00:59:54.610
else I could have done, but one, I forgot, and

00:59:54.610 --> 00:59:56.849
two, I don't think this tortle is all that invested

00:59:56.849 --> 01:00:01.630
in protecting this Haringan. Okay. He just kind

01:00:01.630 --> 01:00:04.349
of... He's kind of still stressed. He's looking

01:00:04.349 --> 01:00:07.610
back at the goblin body, looking down at Jewel's

01:00:07.610 --> 01:00:09.550
body, and he just raises his spear and his shield,

01:00:09.650 --> 01:00:12.570
and he's like, I really need to finish this.

01:00:13.359 --> 01:00:16.519
And steps forward. Oh, actually, no. That's Chester.

01:00:16.579 --> 01:00:19.239
So he's getting ready, and Chester's being facedown.

01:00:19.280 --> 01:00:21.599
Chester, what do you want to do? I'm going to

01:00:21.599 --> 01:00:25.579
go for him again. Okay. Yeah. You are five feet

01:00:25.579 --> 01:00:27.860
away. You can go sling with disadvantage because

01:00:27.860 --> 01:00:32.400
you are ten feet away. Yes. That's going to happen.

01:00:32.519 --> 01:00:39.239
Okay. Yeah. Nat fucking 20. Did he really? Nat

01:00:39.239 --> 01:00:42.320
fucking 20. Chester with a crit. Hell yeah. Suck

01:00:42.320 --> 01:00:45.340
it. Oh my god, you might win this thing! Wait,

01:00:45.360 --> 01:00:47.960
how much damage have we done to him? Uh, you've

01:00:47.960 --> 01:00:49.420
done none to the turtle. I was gonna say, I was

01:00:49.420 --> 01:00:51.659
like... Turtle's still fine, but Nat 20's gonna

01:00:51.659 --> 01:00:53.519
do some damage. Oh, that's right, I went for

01:00:53.519 --> 01:00:55.820
the, uh... Yeah, it's just gonna be 2d4. I didn't

01:00:55.820 --> 01:00:58.079
go for the turtle the last time. Right. That's

01:00:58.079 --> 01:01:01.059
right. Yeah. I always lose my d4, it's so fucking

01:01:01.059 --> 01:01:03.639
small. It's a tricky little... It is. It blends

01:01:03.639 --> 01:01:06.860
in really easily. Alright, so I get 2d4 plus

01:01:06.860 --> 01:01:12.400
2. Ha ha! on the floor. I thought you had a bigger

01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:16.619
modifier with your sling. Both sling and dagger

01:01:16.619 --> 01:01:19.920
are plus two. Pure chaos. Didn't you say earlier

01:01:19.920 --> 01:01:23.139
that he had a different thing for his sling?

01:01:23.139 --> 01:01:28.500
His two hit. Oh. Can I borrow Zebulon's d4? David

01:01:28.500 --> 01:01:30.000
just put one there for you. There you are. I

01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:32.239
don't trust that day. Oh no, I blessed it with

01:01:32.239 --> 01:01:37.989
my David's sweat. I don't know where my dice

01:01:37.989 --> 01:01:41.250
is. Take my d4. Stephen's unprepared. He doesn't

01:01:41.250 --> 01:01:43.610
know what he's doing. I left my dice here. Stephen,

01:01:43.690 --> 01:01:46.349
you have like 18 dice and none of them are a

01:01:46.349 --> 01:01:49.170
d4. What is happening? I do not trust the DM's

01:01:49.170 --> 01:01:52.230
dice. So I found my d4 and I'm going to roll

01:01:52.230 --> 01:01:55.510
it. Heaven knows where. This is big. You've got

01:01:55.510 --> 01:02:00.250
to beat this guy. So it's 3, 2, 5 plus 2, that's

01:02:00.250 --> 01:02:06.739
7. 7 damage? Okay. Damn it, he's still up. He's

01:02:06.739 --> 01:02:09.260
still up, but that definitely made a mark on

01:02:09.260 --> 01:02:14.199
him. Great. Roll a death save, Jules. I don't

01:02:14.199 --> 01:02:16.059
want to. Where are you at right now? It's one

01:02:16.059 --> 01:02:18.039
fail, one success, right? You still got a button.

01:02:18.380 --> 01:02:20.420
Oh, my gosh. No, it's just one fail. Just one

01:02:20.420 --> 01:02:22.260
fail. Just one fail. That's it. That's really,

01:02:22.420 --> 01:02:24.539
really bad. If you're rolling that one. Yeah,

01:02:24.599 --> 01:02:28.699
I know. You have that button. I know. I'm well

01:02:28.699 --> 01:02:31.260
aware of how many buttons I have left. Hey, did

01:02:31.260 --> 01:02:33.099
you see the button you got over there? Look at

01:02:33.099 --> 01:02:36.579
that button. Where? Oh, shit. Where? Oh, he's

01:02:36.579 --> 01:02:38.159
turning it in. Smart move. That's what I would

01:02:38.159 --> 01:02:39.780
have done. There's your goddamn button back.

01:02:40.119 --> 01:02:41.820
Good. Good, you're good. Give me that button.

01:02:42.880 --> 01:02:44.139
It's good because that was a fail. Good thing,

01:02:44.320 --> 01:02:47.960
yeah. Actually, I kind of made... And that passed.

01:02:48.159 --> 01:02:52.320
Okay, cool. Cool. Yeah, all right. I'm glad I

01:02:52.320 --> 01:02:55.079
actually needed the button for that. Yeah. Well,

01:02:55.079 --> 01:02:57.739
it helped you anyway. It didn't... Yeah. Okay.

01:02:57.780 --> 01:02:59.500
I would have rather used it there than wait until

01:02:59.500 --> 01:03:03.119
the last one. For sure. Yeah, so you pass that.

01:03:03.739 --> 01:03:07.860
So... Zebulon's standing there, looking at this

01:03:07.860 --> 01:03:11.559
tortle. Jules is down on the ground to his right.

01:03:11.900 --> 01:03:16.559
Chester is beaten and bloody to his left. Zeb's

01:03:16.559 --> 01:03:21.719
got both of his sabers held out, and his mouth

01:03:21.719 --> 01:03:26.039
starts to spark as he begins to speak. Your friend

01:03:26.039 --> 01:03:29.300
here down. We're going to take you out if you

01:03:29.300 --> 01:03:33.679
don't get out of here. Zebulon, you are standing.

01:03:34.409 --> 01:03:38.110
tall and strong. You're standing by Chester's

01:03:38.110 --> 01:03:43.429
side, Jules down right by you. And this turtle's

01:03:43.429 --> 01:03:45.949
the only one standing, only one left. He's just

01:03:45.949 --> 01:03:47.690
standing kind of unsure, looking down at the

01:03:47.690 --> 01:03:50.269
bodies around him, holding a spear up, shaking.

01:03:51.150 --> 01:03:54.849
And then another voice rings out across the courtyard

01:03:54.849 --> 01:03:57.630
from the direction of the door, beyond the fountain.

01:03:57.809 --> 01:03:59.849
I think you look around, you're actually where

01:03:59.849 --> 01:04:01.429
you're standing. You can't make out across the

01:04:01.429 --> 01:04:04.210
fountain. You just hear someone. call out just

01:04:04.210 --> 01:04:08.030
like, all right, cut, cut. And the turtle just

01:04:08.030 --> 01:04:12.710
like drops his spear, just like, ah, shit. And

01:04:12.710 --> 01:04:17.070
you hear like a quick pitter patter of feet as

01:04:17.070 --> 01:04:22.909
this gnome rounds the corner towards you. Very

01:04:22.909 --> 01:04:25.889
peculiar looking gnome, I'll say. He's got this

01:04:25.889 --> 01:04:29.230
like perfect sort of side combed hair, kind of

01:04:29.230 --> 01:04:35.199
long. He's wearing this maroon, like, suit. Got

01:04:35.199 --> 01:04:38.599
this garish green tie. Just clashes with it horribly.

01:04:38.900 --> 01:04:44.159
Got these fuchsia lens, like, spectacles with

01:04:44.159 --> 01:04:47.900
gold rims. He's just beaming at you with his

01:04:47.900 --> 01:04:52.039
perfect white teeth. A little tiny brown beard.

01:04:52.179 --> 01:04:54.119
And he just kind of, like, moves on the corner.

01:04:54.280 --> 01:04:57.280
And I think he kind of smiles at you for a quick

01:04:57.280 --> 01:05:00.159
second and then, like, scowls towards the tortle

01:05:00.159 --> 01:05:04.599
and just says, Hand of the Sunweaver, what are

01:05:04.599 --> 01:05:06.920
you doing? I did not say, I said make it look

01:05:06.920 --> 01:05:09.219
real, not actually kill them. Get them up now.

01:05:09.519 --> 01:05:12.880
And the tortle's like, all right, yes, yes, sorry.

01:05:13.380 --> 01:05:17.579
And he spins around and immediately is going

01:05:17.579 --> 01:05:21.760
to lay on hands on Jules. This is even more horse

01:05:21.760 --> 01:05:27.820
shit. Zebulon doesn't get it. Yeah, and that's...

01:05:27.820 --> 01:05:31.380
What's going on here? What's going on? I want

01:05:31.380 --> 01:05:34.179
to say at this point in time, you can choose

01:05:34.179 --> 01:05:38.039
to end this combat if you want to. But like...

01:05:38.039 --> 01:05:41.300
So what Zebulon does as the tortle goes towards...

01:05:41.300 --> 01:05:42.960
You can still go. As the tortle goes towards

01:05:42.960 --> 01:05:47.940
Jules, Zeb puts his sword in front of him and

01:05:47.940 --> 01:05:51.860
asks, What's going on here? Tell me now or I'll

01:05:51.860 --> 01:05:55.699
cut you down. He just kind of raises up a hand,

01:05:55.900 --> 01:05:58.780
like this green scaly hand. You see it's radiating

01:05:58.780 --> 01:06:02.340
with this healing, warm energy, the energy you

01:06:02.340 --> 01:06:05.599
remember feeling yourself as you were saved a

01:06:05.599 --> 01:06:07.519
few days ago from the brink of death, and just

01:06:07.519 --> 01:06:11.320
says, maybe we can talk after I save your friend?

01:06:12.159 --> 01:06:15.639
I think it's going to click for Zebulon. He's

01:06:15.639 --> 01:06:19.039
going to drop his swords and walk over to the

01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:22.480
gnome and try to punch him in the face. Okay.

01:06:23.070 --> 01:06:25.429
Holy shit. Yeah, so in the background, we see,

01:06:25.469 --> 01:06:29.210
like, this turtle moves down and heals Jules.

01:06:29.289 --> 01:06:30.869
Jules, you wake up, and I think the first thing

01:06:30.869 --> 01:06:32.510
you see is you look over, and what did you roll

01:06:32.510 --> 01:06:35.809
on that? A natural 18 plus 2 for 20. Jules, the

01:06:35.809 --> 01:06:37.269
first thing that greets your ears as you snap

01:06:37.269 --> 01:06:41.590
back to consciousness is a wet slap as Zebulon

01:06:41.590 --> 01:06:45.889
just punches this gnome who I think he's, like,

01:06:45.889 --> 01:06:47.429
smiling towards you, and he's kind of, like,

01:06:47.449 --> 01:06:49.449
has a hand up like he's going to wave, and you

01:06:49.449 --> 01:06:53.300
walk over, and you just... hammer this guy right

01:06:53.300 --> 01:06:56.639
in the cheek. He goes flying off the pavement,

01:06:57.019 --> 01:06:59.420
probably moves like five feet, ten feet, just

01:06:59.420 --> 01:07:03.940
crumples down against the fountain. What is going

01:07:03.940 --> 01:07:07.900
on here? And Zebulon walks over and stands over

01:07:07.900 --> 01:07:10.860
top of him and pulls his fist back. To ready

01:07:10.860 --> 01:07:13.099
another punch. Oh, and he's just like, hey, hey,

01:07:13.119 --> 01:07:14.900
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, come on, come on.

01:07:15.059 --> 01:07:17.619
Look, I'm sorry about my idiots, all right? They

01:07:17.619 --> 01:07:19.699
weren't supposed to do so rough on you, okay?

01:07:19.860 --> 01:07:23.099
But look, look, look, look, look. My name is

01:07:23.099 --> 01:07:25.820
Ru -Ru -Sang, all right? And I'm going to make

01:07:25.820 --> 01:07:28.360
you both famous. I'm going to interject here

01:07:28.360 --> 01:07:34.440
and ask if Jules, after waking up, has the strength

01:07:34.440 --> 01:07:37.099
to do something, because I imagine Jules is going

01:07:37.099 --> 01:07:40.409
to wake up and go at the turtle, yeah. Jules

01:07:40.409 --> 01:07:41.869
doesn't know what the hell just happened. He's

01:07:41.869 --> 01:07:43.389
waking up. He's going to go after the fucking

01:07:43.389 --> 01:07:46.190
turtle. Yeah. Sounds good. Go for it. Perfect.

01:07:46.550 --> 01:07:48.909
You snap awake. You move. The turtle's turned

01:07:48.909 --> 01:07:52.030
away from you now. He's healing the goblin. He's

01:07:52.030 --> 01:07:53.329
just reaching down, healing people, and you just

01:07:53.329 --> 01:07:56.030
snap awake and get to move. Right, because all

01:07:56.030 --> 01:07:59.690
he can see and hear is more combat going on 20

01:07:59.690 --> 01:08:02.550
feet away from him. I think it's going to be

01:08:02.550 --> 01:08:04.750
an unarmed strike. Okay. I'm coming out of being

01:08:04.750 --> 01:08:06.210
unconscious. I'm not going to be in the right

01:08:06.210 --> 01:08:08.840
mind to really just... actually think about grabbing

01:08:08.840 --> 01:08:10.280
my shit. Right. Let me draw my weapon. I'm just

01:08:10.280 --> 01:08:12.840
going to get up and tackle this guy. All right.

01:08:14.780 --> 01:08:16.720
And it's not going to do anything. It's a four.

01:08:17.279 --> 01:08:20.340
Okay. You come and like swing at this turtle

01:08:20.340 --> 01:08:23.260
and he just sort of weaves out of the way. Maybe

01:08:23.260 --> 01:08:25.659
you just punch a shell and he's just like, excuse

01:08:25.659 --> 01:08:30.739
me. You stupid motherfucker. Chester kind of

01:08:30.739 --> 01:08:32.319
moves to the side. Jules, Jules, you all right?

01:08:32.779 --> 01:08:34.939
Yeah, I'm all right. But this guy's not about

01:08:34.939 --> 01:08:38.130
to be. Hey, hey, hey. Look. Something weird's

01:08:38.130 --> 01:08:40.470
going on here, all right? Yeah, something weird's

01:08:40.470 --> 01:08:43.430
going on. I think, let's just, let's just hear

01:08:43.430 --> 01:08:45.350
these guys out. The fuck are you talking about?

01:08:45.869 --> 01:08:48.350
Look, we don't want any murderers here, okay?

01:08:48.869 --> 01:08:50.729
They were about, they were just about to murder

01:08:50.729 --> 01:08:53.510
us. They were, they were, but look, we made it.

01:08:53.510 --> 01:08:55.529
Did I, did I miss something while I was out?

01:08:56.229 --> 01:08:59.029
Zebulon walks back over while this conversation's

01:08:59.029 --> 01:09:01.890
happening and picks his blades back up and sheathes

01:09:01.890 --> 01:09:04.590
them. What you doing? Let, let's get out of here.

01:09:05.250 --> 01:09:07.869
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, just, just,

01:09:07.909 --> 01:09:11.430
please, please, please, please. The gnome just

01:09:11.430 --> 01:09:13.029
like gets back up and is running towards you.

01:09:13.069 --> 01:09:14.869
Look, it was not supposed to go like this, all

01:09:14.869 --> 01:09:17.569
right? This was bad, but I needed to know if

01:09:17.569 --> 01:09:22.090
you were of strong make, right? Side Jeremy note,

01:09:22.409 --> 01:09:24.810
Jules does not feel up to snuff in that regard.

01:09:27.350 --> 01:09:30.270
We don't have anything to prove to you. But,

01:09:30.270 --> 01:09:34.500
but, but you do, you do. Look. Like I said, my

01:09:34.500 --> 01:09:37.720
name is Rune Rusang, okay? I'm what you might

01:09:37.720 --> 01:09:43.140
call an agent. A luminary agent, right? I've

01:09:43.140 --> 01:09:45.899
helped some of the big ones get up there. Sturge

01:09:45.899 --> 01:09:50.359
Man? That was me, okay? Now, I know my name's

01:09:50.359 --> 01:09:52.439
not really out there, but we try to keep a low

01:09:52.439 --> 01:09:55.279
profile behind the scenes, us guys, okay? But

01:09:55.279 --> 01:09:59.960
you two, you two, have something. Just talk to

01:09:59.960 --> 01:10:01.920
me. I'm sure there are plenty of agents out there.

01:10:02.270 --> 01:10:04.750
Who aren't going to try to kill us. Not a good

01:10:04.750 --> 01:10:07.970
first impression. Okay. All right. Well, let

01:10:07.970 --> 01:10:11.409
me ask you this. You want to make it big? You.

01:10:12.310 --> 01:10:16.250
Dragonborn. Mr. Brass. How does it feel being

01:10:16.250 --> 01:10:18.529
in the shadow of your family? The greats, huh?

01:10:19.029 --> 01:10:20.869
Except no one's heard of you. I've never even

01:10:20.869 --> 01:10:22.289
seen you. What have you been doing all your life?

01:10:22.569 --> 01:10:25.529
I can be great without the likes of you. Maybe.

01:10:26.289 --> 01:10:29.989
Maybe. Except... What's going to happen when

01:10:29.989 --> 01:10:32.090
you try to make moves, make waves out there,

01:10:32.149 --> 01:10:36.130
and Grandmother's watching? Think she's going

01:10:36.130 --> 01:10:37.350
to sit around and let you do what you want to

01:10:37.350 --> 01:10:41.210
do, huh? She's got power. Think you can leave

01:10:41.210 --> 01:10:44.430
the Citadel on your own? You need a writ to go

01:10:44.430 --> 01:10:46.789
anywhere. The Citadel's not a very big place.

01:10:47.289 --> 01:10:51.010
And Sholay? She's at the top. And you think you

01:10:51.010 --> 01:10:54.939
are stronger than Sholay? I think I'm craftier

01:10:54.939 --> 01:10:57.539
than Sholay. I think I'm a little dirtier than

01:10:57.539 --> 01:11:01.100
Sholay. And maybe that doesn't sound great. I

01:11:01.100 --> 01:11:02.899
think you seem like the bottom of the barrel.

01:11:03.100 --> 01:11:05.840
I think we could do better. I can make things

01:11:05.840 --> 01:11:08.319
happen. Friends in low places can be better than

01:11:08.319 --> 01:11:11.020
friends in high places. Look, just think about

01:11:11.020 --> 01:11:12.619
it. And you, you there. I'm not convinced, Jules.

01:11:12.920 --> 01:11:15.699
Let's get out of here. Look, I saw the recordings

01:11:15.699 --> 01:11:19.880
from Tythos, okay? I saw what you guys did. You.

01:11:20.079 --> 01:11:22.859
You cut that, that, whatever thing was it, that

01:11:22.859 --> 01:11:25.239
spark creature down. Yeah, you and everybody

01:11:25.239 --> 01:11:29.159
else. Not yet. What makes you special? You saw

01:11:29.159 --> 01:11:31.939
yourself being recorded then. You knew this was

01:11:31.939 --> 01:11:35.260
coming up. But you haven't seen it on the network,

01:11:35.380 --> 01:11:38.220
have you? Why do you think that is? I don't care.

01:11:38.619 --> 01:11:40.920
Sounds like he just wants to make money off us.

01:11:41.060 --> 01:11:44.140
Of course I want to make money off of you. That

01:11:44.140 --> 01:11:46.380
doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing. You there.

01:11:46.500 --> 01:11:49.420
You. Of course it's a bad thing. Mr. Jules LaRoche,

01:11:49.579 --> 01:11:52.619
I saw you too. You took out one of those things,

01:11:52.680 --> 01:11:56.720
went invisible, did some magic, huh? And? Well,

01:11:56.760 --> 01:11:59.199
I saw those cute little kids behind you. You

01:11:59.199 --> 01:12:01.920
seem close. Don't you fucking talk about them.

01:12:02.140 --> 01:12:03.520
What do you think's going to happen when those

01:12:03.520 --> 01:12:06.840
cute little kids get replaced somewhere else,

01:12:06.880 --> 01:12:08.760
hmm? You think you're all going to stay together?

01:12:09.699 --> 01:12:12.880
Yep. Yeah, you think your cousin's going to let

01:12:12.880 --> 01:12:15.340
that happen? Come on, I know the bad blood in

01:12:15.340 --> 01:12:19.729
your family. You know nothing about my relationship

01:12:19.729 --> 01:12:24.569
with my family. Look, this was a disaster. That's

01:12:24.569 --> 01:12:28.510
on me. But if you just sit down. Ten minutes.

01:12:29.289 --> 01:12:31.609
Ten minutes, gentlemen. We don't owe you ten

01:12:31.609 --> 01:12:34.369
minutes. And you haven't convinced us. Then let

01:12:34.369 --> 01:12:36.909
me. I can give you everything you've ever wanted.

01:12:36.989 --> 01:12:40.090
I can help you. I can help you protect your friends.

01:12:40.210 --> 01:12:44.470
All the low city folk. You need something. Were

01:12:44.470 --> 01:12:47.840
those kids? They're going to end up on a farm

01:12:47.840 --> 01:12:51.079
in the rattle, in God's breath. They're going

01:12:51.079 --> 01:12:53.939
to get torn apart out there. Come on. This kid

01:12:53.939 --> 01:12:57.319
was right. We don't owe you ten minutes. You

01:12:57.319 --> 01:13:08.119
owe us ten buttons. Then we'll talk. I don't

01:13:08.119 --> 01:13:11.720
know what that means. Out of character, I do

01:13:11.720 --> 01:13:16.239
have to say, Zebulon has zero reason. To give

01:13:16.239 --> 01:13:18.699
this guy the time of day and not walk away from

01:13:18.699 --> 01:13:20.699
this. Yeah, you're going to have to do a little

01:13:20.699 --> 01:13:24.659
more fucking convincing. Zebulon turns to this

01:13:24.659 --> 01:13:28.859
guy and says, next time you're going to have

01:13:28.859 --> 01:13:32.180
to try a little harder. And turns to walk away.

01:13:32.880 --> 01:13:36.180
Would that derail your... Derail me. I'll pull

01:13:36.180 --> 01:13:38.100
myself back on the rails. That's how shit works

01:13:38.100 --> 01:13:41.279
in this game. Jules is following suit too. None

01:13:41.279 --> 01:13:46.000
of us have any reason right now. to stay and

01:13:46.000 --> 01:13:48.680
listen to what this guy has to say. None whatsoever.

01:13:49.039 --> 01:13:51.380
If we want to find an agent, there's probably

01:13:51.380 --> 01:13:53.760
dozens of them on the Citadel. I mean, so you

01:13:53.760 --> 01:13:56.939
go to move away, and he's just like, Listen to

01:13:56.939 --> 01:14:00.600
me, guys. Do you want... I'm the only one. The

01:14:00.600 --> 01:14:01.760
only one that's going to help you, you know.

01:14:03.060 --> 01:14:04.680
Cirilla, Sholay, they're never going to let you

01:14:04.680 --> 01:14:06.880
see the light of day. You'll never make it to

01:14:06.880 --> 01:14:08.340
the Crystal Network. You'll never have power.

01:14:08.439 --> 01:14:11.399
Not without me. What are you... And then you

01:14:11.399 --> 01:14:12.960
guys are moving farther. Imagine the cameras

01:14:12.960 --> 01:14:15.270
moving farther. It's just like... Hear me out.

01:14:15.289 --> 01:14:19.310
Just get back here. Damn it. As we're walking

01:14:19.310 --> 01:14:22.069
out, I'm going to look over and hold out my hand

01:14:22.069 --> 01:14:25.050
and say, I'm Jules. Nice to meet you, Jules.

01:14:25.829 --> 01:14:28.649
Zebulon Brass. That was some nice work back there.

01:14:29.270 --> 01:14:32.189
Well, good thing for some of your quick healing.

01:14:32.770 --> 01:14:35.770
We would have been down a long time ago. Yeah,

01:14:35.789 --> 01:14:39.590
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I don't

01:14:39.590 --> 01:14:42.729
really know what this agent thinks he was doing,

01:14:42.810 --> 01:14:47.609
but... I'll watch your back if you watch mine.

01:14:48.109 --> 01:14:51.850
Deal. Let's get out of here and maybe find us

01:14:51.850 --> 01:14:55.090
a classier agent. And I think just like that,

01:14:55.149 --> 01:14:57.770
the two of you and Chester just behind, you turn,

01:14:57.930 --> 01:15:01.390
walk away from this shouting gnome from the battlefield

01:15:01.390 --> 01:15:04.350
where these three assailants are slowly climbing

01:15:04.350 --> 01:15:06.449
back to their feet as the tortles are helping

01:15:06.449 --> 01:15:09.949
everybody back up. And you can just hear the

01:15:09.949 --> 01:15:13.500
gnome reaming them out. But you don't make out

01:15:13.500 --> 01:15:15.619
the words because you're moving farther and farther

01:15:15.619 --> 01:15:19.960
away, side by side, deeper into the citadel.

01:15:21.380 --> 01:15:22.460
And we'll call it there.