People! Just want to say, real quick, the obvious,
thank you so much for being here right now, listening
to this show. You're the best. You, individually,
right there, the one on top of two, me and you.
You're the best. Enjoy. talk lately around the
return of the mysterious singer of Anker and
Syngar. I suppose it is only right that I tell
you that these rumors are unfortunately true.
I weep for the poor souls of the turquoise world
who must live in constant fear once more. Now
for those of you who are not in the know, the
singer was a legendary terrorist that took command
of a group of criminals known as the Silent Roar
nearly 50 years ago. They first appeared after
Atash saved their world from demonic threats,
apparently holding some issues with his subsequent
rule. Under the singer's leadership, the Silent
Roar caused untold chaos and were responsible
for the planar release of many, many Celestials.
Atash was halted time and time again from taking
certain precautions against further demonic threats.
It was a sorrowful time for the angels. But around
33 years ago, it was said the singer was killed,
or at the very least, chased away. There was
an incident, all entirely classified by the governing
bodies of Anchor and Cingar, where the Silent
Roar was very nearly disbanded. Following that,
the singer vanished and the Silent Roar saw little
success as they went off to lick their wounds.
For all these years, we barely heard a thing
from the criminal gang. But now, just recently,
they've stepped back into the spotlight with
a singer at their head once more. But why? Why
now? Has all this justice -in -dying madness
inspired even more criminality? All we can say
for sure, as the singer, whoever they may be,
is certainly plotting something terrible. Now
I know what you're thinking. There's no way,
simply no way, that these idiots are going to
put a fourth arc in this arc. They'll be mad.
Insane, even. Well, to that I say, welcome to
Fancy Pants and welcome to Anchor and Sengar.
Yeah. Yeah, we're doing it. We're going there.
And while we're doing welcomes... Let's welcome
our special guest to the show tonight. You might
know him as Crow's Nest Craft, but we know him
simply as the Mysterious Mr. Crow. Or John is
good, too. Do you prefer John or the Mysterious
Mr. Crow? What's your... John is fine. Are you
sure? I'm sure. Damn. All right. Well, we tried.
So a little backstory here. We were collabing
with John. Eight months ago, nine months ago
on a Sci -Fi stream series. But that kind of
ended when my computer had a heart attack. I
had a kind of a panic attack. So this week we
were going to get together and record a continuation
of that little Monster of the Week adventure.
But of course the winds of whimsy kind of caught
me up in a storm. And now we're doing something
absolutely crazy instead. And if you don't like
it, it was Steven's idea. So John. Yeah. Tell
us. the pants, maybe a little bit about who you
are, what you do. I think we talked about you
on the show a bunch of times already, but still,
let's get back into it. All right. Let's hear
it from the horses, the crows mouth. all right
uh from the crows yeah yeah sure um i'm john
i uh live near these guys more or less and i
run a channel on youtube tiktok and instagram
that is mostly miniature painting and making
uh terrain and stuff like that out of cheap supplies
so how's it going if you haven't seen my stuff
So, yeah. What else do you want to know about
me, David? Anyone who's up there. We've talked
about it on the show, but we have an ugly coyote
made in miniature. It's on the Place of Honor
on the shelf behind me right now. There's a video
about making that. You want to see the ugly coyote
built? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wood panel. Wood panel.
Is it brick? Is it brick? It is brick. Brick
by brick. Then you've got to check out. John's
channel. You want to see me and Steven get taught
how to do some cool crafts? Because we don't
know anything because we're dumb. Yeah, Steven's
not up yet. Oh, wait. Spoilers for Steven. Keep
your eyes on the channel. You heard it here first,
folks. Yeah, yeah. Oh, but yeah, check it out.
Have a good time. Learn how to make some cool
crafts and have fun. Hell yeah. Welcome, John.
thanks do you guys want to have some fun tonight
you want to get into it tonight yeah what are
we doing uh do tell david so much there's so
much uh And honestly, better than telling you
anything, rather than getting into describing
of it, let's just dive right into a scene and
give nobody any idea what the hell is going on.
Perfect. I don't know what the fuck is going
on. We love to be convoluted. Proof that it was
not my idea. Yeah, I did not like that you lumped
Stephen and I in as the idiots at the beginning.
You're the idiot that came up with this. Yes.
But you know what? I had fun. Black screen. We
see a title card. Appears. Five weeks ago. Yeah.
I'm doing this. You are trapped in a nightmare.
You cannot move, speak, scream, hear. You can
only feel the cold crystal that encases you.
And you can see time. It moves wrong. The mind
does not comprehend everything locked in horror
and helpless fury as it is. It's all a haze,
a blur, moments bleeding into each other as your
reality is just slowly being torn apart before
you. You see the winding streets of the Radiant
Citadel, a parade on a busy thoroughfare, a parade
in which you are the star. Cheering crowds surround,
watching as you are dragged on and on and up
and up towards the turquoise conquered jewel
which hovers docked in a passive respite, waiting
eagerly to take you away. Another street in a
bustling desert bazaar. Through the space between
buildings you can make out a vast area of rolling
dunes. There's something else as well. A shadow
in the blue sky. Tall spires give the shadow
the look of a grand palace. And you know it is
Zendayane Saab's The Sky Prison. Your soon -to
-be -home for lifetimes. Horror churns at your
guts. Outside of you, something shifts and you
are angled towards the sky. The sun is so bright
it shines into your eyes with the crystal. It...
burns that you cannot look away. The occasional
shadow against the light brings moments of relief,
winged celestials flying above your guards and
your captors. You watch them circling within
the sunlight as you move on and on. And you catch
the moment when they stop circling. When their
shapes dart downwards with alarm shaking. You
have stopped moving. The light burns your eyes
with no reprieve now until a large figure appears
above you and it looks like a monster. A hulking
humanoid form with the head of a lion, body cut
and bleeding in several places, eyes dark. A
black cloth is drawn over your prison, plunging
you into darkness. You cannot move, speak, scream,
hear, or see. You can only feel the cold crystal
that encases you. And then, suddenly, that is
also gone. There's a voice. Easy. Easy now. You're
free. It'll be a minute before you can talk and
move, but you're free. The silent roar has saved
you. Torchlight. You're looking into a large
open space, walls of canvas. See crates are piled
up all around. You see racks filled with weapons,
shells filled with foodstuffs. And you see people.
A small militia packed into this space. Hardened
folks, battle -scarred and well -armed. Among
them stands that same lion man you saw before.
And John, would you better describe the physical
appearance of this figure for me? He is a large...
lion man uh blackened eyes he has uh kind of
like some darkened growths around where scars
should be on his like mostly bare upper body
except by he's adorned with a large black leather
um like apron that is just constantly bleeding
Oh, my God. Which is a wondrous item, by the
way. It's a real, like, a D &D. It's called the
Butcher's Bib, and it's awesome. Dude, it's awesome
on you in particular, too. Yeah, so it's, like,
this giant, and he's got, like, kind of, like,
this smell, like, a fungal smell to him, I think,
just, like, pollutes the room around. But, like,
not in, like, a really, like, rotting way, but
in a walking through a nice, like, forest, and
you have, like... the underlay of mushrooms growing
in a, like, moist environment. And he's got,
like, you know, for the most part, not wearing,
like, he's wearing pants and that apron, and
I'm like, that's it. He's got a ring on his finger,
but he's, like, pretty happy with his appearance.
He looks a bit older, but whereas, like, a living...
Being or something that's entirely living is
like, you know, youthful and the skin is nice
and like, you know, has a little bit of elasticity
to it. He's like fully like aged as if leather
almost. So he's like, he looks old, but in the
way that like a sack looks old. So it was like
really like a mummy. Freaking awful. I mean,
he looks like. I don't think you notice a lot
of that unless you're really close to him. He
just looks like a giant, muscular lion man with
all these scars. But as you start to look close,
it's like he's almost carved out of old leather
and mushrooms. We have tokens for our characters
tonight, and we just have a picture of Leomon
from Digimon. Fuck yeah, man. It's so good. It's
so right. What inspired this guy, because I'm
a little bit of a weeb, is Leomon from Digimon.
and Princess Mononoke, where they have the rotting
boar that bites. I think it kind of fucked me
up when I watched it. Because the food pulled
into the maggots. Yeah, so I was doing that,
but with mushrooms. So should I say what kind
of class I'm playing? What do you guys usually
do with that? Go right ahead. He's a barbarian,
Path of the Beast. Um, I believe I did five levels
of that. And then, oh, should I say how many
levels I am? You can say levels. Okay. I don't
know how kosher that is. And then he's split
with a, um, what's it called? Uh, the druid.
Um. Circle of Spores. Circle of Spores, dude.
And that's like six levels of that. So he let
me be very strong for you guys. Yeah, beefy boy.
Beefy boy. You are going to need all of that
stuff. Oh, no. Hooray. Hooray. So you see this
figure standing amongst this crowd. And you.
You, the other yous, the Stephen and Jeremy,
who are they playing? We'll find out. You feel
movement begin to return to you. You can turn
your heads. You can see that you are placed within
a line of others, and you recognize those beside
you, other former prisoners of the Celestials.
A figure steps out from the militia crowd, a
human man, middle -aged, with tan skin, long
white eyebrows, droop beneath a purple turban,
framing a stern, stony face. You're coming to
your senses. Good. Good, be at ease. It's the
same voice that spoke to you before. He turns
away from you, raising his hands in a reverent
gesture very suddenly. The singer will speak
with you now. Be respectful. Know that it is
by her command that you have been saved. And
at these words, at the sound of approaching steps,
chatter ceases all around. All eyes fall on a
figure moving into the space. Huge, powerful
build. A maw of razor teeth. Great, extending
wings. Scales of gleaming brass. Get out. Heya.
Um, hello. Hello there. Okay. We're bringing
it all out tonight. Oh my god. Wow. Alright.
I know. You all must be very confused right now.
You must remember being detained by celestials.
Your bodies being imprisoned in crystal. Your
fate some lifetime spent in the sky prison. Your
minds and souls rotting away as your bodies remain
fresh in captivity. I've been told it's horrible.
Like a lucid nightmare out of your control. It's
something I can understand. I can understand.
Some of you. might recognize me. You might know
me as the world's known me as Xenobras, wife
to Erethelon Brass. You all know him. But I was
not always Xenobras. Once, I was called the singer.
Fifty years ago, I founded the Silent Roar and
stood to defy Atash as he settled into power
here on Angor and Sengar. Thirty -three years
ago, I made a grave error and was nearly caught,
exposed. Only the intervention of Sholay Brass
saved me from Arthash's clutches. But the singer
had to go. Disappear. And Sholay was willing
to help me with that. She had only one condition.
A small smile on the half -dragon's lips. Just
a date. With her son. And so Xena fell in love
with Arathelon and became... A Brass. And she
was so happy for many years. All the worlds know
what happened to Arathelon, though. What they
cannot know is what his erasure did to me and
to my mind. He was my life for so long. The magic
of the serial cannot explain his absence easily,
and so he just restricted my thoughts entirely.
When the magic was lifted, my mind restored.
I had lost everything. My husband was rightfully
murdered and erased. My youngest son. My wonderful
little Zebulon was killed. My elder son gambles
with death every day. Too righteous to be talked
down. Too much his father. Even my mother -in
-law, my savior, has been locked away. Forever.
Deep breath. The eyes open, becoming fierce.
There was nobody left to protect me. And nobody
for me to protect. Not Azina. But I remember
now that I was not always Xena. I am the singer.
And I have chosen to return to the fight. And
now you all have a choice too. I tell you all
this because I need you to understand. I know
the horror of being trapped in your own mind,
bound by magic for years. It is a fate you have
been saved from by the silent roar. But I want
to be very clear here. You are not free. You
are criminals now. thrown away by the governing
powers of our worlds. But me? I've always loved
collecting unwanted things. Those of you who
wish to help me fight back, to clear your name
so you may feel free again, you will be welcome
among my ranks. Those of you who do not will
be well cared for in my prison. You have seen
me, so you cannot leave here under our current
regime. But I promise we are far more humane
than our adversaries in the sky. I will give
you all some time to think. To make the wise
choice. In the meantime, I will roast us a goat!
There it is. We see the delicious sort of watching
in horror as the half -dragon retreats. Oh, Sunweaver,
not again. We don't have to eat it, do we? Everybody
eats. Will you see how she... Everybody eats.
Just like shivering. It's like war -hardened
freedom fighters. See, our camera slides back
to finally reveal our POV character. Or characters.
So first, let's reintroduce Pepper. Named for
his volatile temperament he has, a kit, Pepper
grew up in the town of Promise, his family having
strayed from the war ends of the nightwater swamps.
All went well for the young Haringan until a
certain incident caused him to lash out and attack
some folks. And, uh, what do you think this was,
Jeremy Wolf? Pepper ran into his old schoolyard
bully. And even after they've graduated, he's
still on that shit. He fought back in self -defense,
but who's going to believe Pepper? Nobody. He's
got that temper everyone knows about, and so...
So he beat the shit out of him. But it was incomplete
self -defense. Oh, no! It's even sadder! So desperate
to escape the clutches of the local law, Pepper
fled to the Radiant Citadel, where he fell victim
to the manipulations of a certain gnomish agent.
Following some conflicts with our main party
of heroes, Pepper was convinced to leave Rune's
employ when he was even given his own business
to run as a sunko. Pepper's Peppers! The proud
sponsor of Luminary, Jules LaRoche. But of course,
even this new life was stripped from the poor
fella when the Celestials used his criminal record
as an excuse to shut his store down and have
him sent to the Sky Prison. So we see one of
our two characters here. He turns to the side
and looks. And let's introduce Paloma. Reintroduce
Paloma. Born as Pancho to a family of proud blacksmiths,
Paloma has never been one to feel restrained
by society. She shaped her own identity and lived
a happy life growing up in a Saint -Étienne that
never heard of the Radiant Citadel. She lived
in Saint -Étienne City when it was Los Cavallanes.
It was the old city. She saw everything happen.
She's an elderly dwarf about 300 years old. She
saw the connecting of the worlds, the founding
of the network. She watched uneasy as her city
grew and shifted into a hub for tourism. Then
she watched in horror as Marvel Ironworks came
along and seized power, pushing her community
into their empire of labor. And having watched
enough, Paloma took on a new calling, becoming
a head of the underground revolution. And let
me ask you, Stephen, was there a particular incident
that caused Paloma to join the good fight? Yeah,
it wasn't Paloma's own suffering under Marfil.
She's strong enough that she could find her way,
she could make it. What pushed her over the edge
was seeing her friends and neighbors struggle.
Small businesses close. Yeah. Children be put
to work. That was too much. And so she... formed
this rebellion. And after recruiting a certain
team of heroes, Paloma hatched a scheme to see
the leaders of Marfil and of Santatian City unseated.
Looking towards a bright new horizon for her
world, the elderly dwarf turned Marfil's resources
into Freedom Ironworks and became the proud sponsor
of luminary Dresden Kellig. But when a conspiracy
to use their magical forges and armaments brought
celestial forces to their doors, the leaders
of Freedom Ironworks found themselves to be anything
but butt free. And around these two are heroes,
secondary heroes, actually, I should say sidekicks
for tonight, a sidekick stat block's going on.
We see a few other recognizable faces. We see
the loyal, one -armed Grindy, the fierce mixed
Margus Ruba, no longer a king of coin. And ahead
of this group, who are slowly coming to their
senses, the lion man lingers, watching. It becomes
clear to you that this figure was one that had
fought to save you. You also might recognize
this figure as a long -time luminary, the one
that has not seen much spotlight in recent years.
And have we talked about your name? Have you
shared the... Like the full name? Full name.
I know we mentioned you way back in the spotlight,
but... I think so. If you want to introduce the
character, bring him up now. Here we have...
So we have RZA. Which I said Risa, because Oren
is bad at names. That's all right. It's Risa,
and his last name is Horicium, which I think
is a type of mushroom. Nice. And he goes by Lion's
Mane. I love that. Oh, yeah. Just for a little
bit of a pun there. Yeah, perfect. So, yeah,
Lion's Mane. Yeah. Yeah. The room is starting
to fill with acrid sort of smoke. Some kind of
heat wafting from the back somewhere that you
can't quite see. As you guys are sort of aware,
you can fully kind of move. You feel your throats
opening up and you can speak. Anything you want
to say, though? The only one that's kind of,
everyone else is kind of trailing back. A lot
of people are actually, you see them kind of
like ducking and running away as like the dinner
is being prepared. I think Rizzo's the hard -boiled
enough to just kind of stand his ground. So you
guys see Rizzo's still there. You guys want to
say anything? You want to take these character
voices for a spin? Paloma watches somebody who's
in the, shit, not silent verse. I said the wrong
thing. Silent Roar. There's two Silents. That's
in the book. Paloma watches somebody from the
Silent Roar walk by and she looks up and asks,
anything to smoke around here? I think assuming
Paloma's looking up at RZA will clear his throat
and just be like, yeah. And he will go through
his very bloody pouch in his apron and just dig
around in the butcher's bin. And he does have
a jar of whatever. Oh, thank God they're in a
jar. Yeah. Learn my lesson. He, like, opens the
jars. Like, envelopes just don't work the way
that they should. Gross. Especially with this
thing. And he, like, yeah, he opens a jar up,
and there's just, like, hand -rolled cigars in
there. Oh, my God. Like, leaf cigars. It's good
stuff. No, he's definitely a smoker. I mean,
a guy that is the lion version of, like, just
an old 60 -year -old man. that is really into
working out. But he has his one vice, and yeah,
for sure, cigars. And it's funny, at this point,
as you reach out with a cigar, and I imagine
you're reaching for it, you have this moment
of deep connection here, because we have two
souls that both old figures, figures who have
been around for a long time, both of you have
been around for probably a similar amount of
time, right? I don't know if he would be that
old. Yeah, actually, yeah. But, like, you've
both been the heads of sort of revolutionaries.
Oh, for sure. You've been working with them.
You've been with the Silent Roar for a while.
You worked with Xena back when she was the singer
originally, before everything went bad. Yeah,
so I think he would, like, clear his throat and
hand over, like, a cigar to her, assuming that's
what she's asking to smoke. He's like, if that's
not good enough, I got more stuff in here, too.
Thank you, honey. Thank you. Paloma, by the way.
Nice to meet you. RZA. And he's like a little
nervous for what you'd expect a giant lion man
to be. So he's like, it's like, it's very nice
to meet you. You can tell he doesn't talk to
people more than the people that are around him
all of the time and mostly just get spoken to.
So he's just like, how's it going? And like,
just like gives over a couple of cigars. And
it's like, if you guys have any questions, I'm
like one of the other, you know, I guess uppers
here. So if you can ask me a question, I'm a
little bit easier to talk to. You wouldn't be
able to tell by the looks, but. Yeah, it looks
like you had a pretty rough day, hon. Oh, fucking
years. Yeah. But yeah, no, believe it or not,
I'm the personality around here currently. You
hear the back. I am really excited about the
goat, though. So if we could get this going,
would a giant, rotting lion man not want to eat
a roast goat? I mean, come on. But no, yeah,
he's like, I'm really excited about the goat.
So the guys made decisions. I guess I could come
back. I mean, I'm kind of supposed to be equally
terrifying and also waiting for you to either
tell her that you're in or out. I mean, you being
terrifying aside, I'm in. Yeah, we pan over to
Pepper. Pepper's got this just wide -eyed look
of terror. Pepper is just frozen in fear. This
is not right. Something's wrong. Nothing's right.
Nothing's right. Who are you? Out of the skillet
and into the fire, kid. Who the fuck does that
mean? Bad to worse. Bad to worse. Oh my god,
this is awesome. This is all wrong. I'm not supposed
to be here. Well, welcome, kid. And he's like
very awkwardly like, you know. an adult that's
not used to talking to kids going up to him and
treating him as if he's a child be like so you're
part of a revolution possibly now would you like
to you know not be in prison anymore uh pepper
will turn to paloma why is it talking fight a
flight why does it talk well i mean what do you
mean why do why do i talk I mean, you're a talking
rabbit. Is it crazy that a talking lion exists?
That's not crazy at all. But a talking lion is
crazy? Yes, where am I? I mean, I don't think
I can tell you that unless you give me an answer
if you're, I mean, in or out. If it'll get me
out of here, then yes. Yeah, okay, sick. He's
dead, he's dead. That's all I need to hear. Yeah,
all right, that's it. You hear a voice, a singing
voice, loud steps get closer. They already ate.
More for us. Hey, good news. They're in. Oh,
good. Yeah, sick. We don't have to lock him up.
All right. I'll take one of the legs, please.
These other people, like you, kind of recruiters
that are talking to others. And you see Margus
and Grindy, obviously, also in. They're kind
of moving in. I think everyone starts to slide
in slowly to this platter that drops down. This
huge, two -handing overhead, this huge silver
platter puts it down. And it's just this absolutely
charred to the bone. The bones are black goat.
Oh, my God. Jeez. Paloma's been smoking for over
a hundred years, but even this is like, this
is going to taste like ash. The look of frozen
fear is on Pepper's face again. She grabs a piece
of charred meat on a bone and uh -oh, here comes
the airplane. Stop it, I love this. Paloma leans
over to Lion's Mane. What's the food like in
the prison? I don't think that they feed you.
Our prison or the other one? Oh, we do feed you.
It's pretty similar to this, actually. Picture
this in stew form. Blackened stew. Somehow worse.
Somehow worse. I don't think it's that bad. It's
bad. Let's go on a bit of a montage here. I want
to do a montage of the next five weeks as we
catch up to Modern Today. I'll put some stuff
out there. I always see some brief glimpses of
training efforts with a silent roar, like Pepper
maybe learning to better wield his rage or maybe
his panic, as it were, as he kind of comes to
get used to this strange new situation he finds
himself in. We'll see Paloma just sparring with
style. We see Margus and Grindy, they go to the
streets using their charisma and guile to sort
of head up recruitment efforts outside of the
kind of... I guess, mission -based structure.
We see gifts bestowed on our new recruits. A
fine magical maul for Pepper. Magical cutlass
and dagger for Paloma. It's worth noting that
Silent Roar has a pretty massive store of magic
items to be given out mission to mission. These
are yours to keep. But if you go on certain missions,
you might be equipped with certain pretty powerful
stuff to kind of get you through. Speaking of
missions, I imagine we see a few carried out.
We see Pepper and Paloma probably supporting
the ferocious RZA as, you know, kind of a small
squad unit. And you guys give me some ideas.
What kind of missions do you have going on? What
kind of scenes might we see? I'm not sure what
the landscape is like. Yeah. Are we only in the
desert planet? Right. Yeah, mostly you're sticking
on Anchor and Sengar. This is where the hall
of celestial activity really is and where you're
stricken at the heart of Atash's original kingdom.
So you're seeing, if you sit outside, you see
a desert world. There are some, if you look to
the kind of far, far west of what they call the
Burning Dunes, there are a few snow -capped mountains,
a range that seems to block everything, but most
of this world is just harsh, unrelenting, unforgiving
desert. There are a number of towns and bazaars,
outposts built around Oasis, sort of throughout,
like, dotting the map. And you'll probably be
taken to many of them, as Celestial Rule is kind
of all -encompassing here. Everything belongs
in Natasha's fist. If there's, like, a spot close
by, like, some sort of almost... So they're like
the celestial presence is like kind of full force
out here? I guess I'll say it is and isn't because
it used to be much heavier. But more recently,
they've been spreading pretty thin. They've been
sending celestials to every of the 25 worlds.
So where there was this overwhelming, overbearing
sort of policing force here, they've actually
been scattered, you know, into 20... How many
worlds are there now? How many did they kill?
Two? Three different directions. So I feel like
a few of them could be something like either...
a fantasy traffic stop pretty much where they're
just trying to like flag down anyone that might
have ties to the silent roar and then have three
actual like members come in and just bust it
up um if there's any sort of like retrievement
missions that the celestials are on like trying
to take their magical items from them i don't
know i do imagine i'm just seeing this all in
like comic panel form with just like some pepper
doing a pow The flying bunny kick. We're going
to call that on it. 22 different worlds because
the world of Tledebek is still holding out thanks
to your efforts. So if anyone with a sharp beard
wanted to get me, ha! You're welcome. You didn't
get me. Anyway. Any other scenes you want to
just dive into the modern day? I think that Paloma
is going to at least try to be operating as Lion
Mane's... scout through all this. I like that.
She's at least a little sneaky. That's kind of
where her strengths are. Hell yeah. For sure.
Pepper's taking up the second line. I think you
can see him in the montage early on. He's just
the guy that comes in and gets the last hit.
He's like, I did something. But then he gets
a little more involved later, but he's still
very much... I think Lion's Mane, considering
barbarians, would probably try to be like, all
right, you can be upset, but you've got to harness
it in a way. Giving him some tips as someone
who's tried to balance his rage over the years.
Yeah, that's awesome. And get a little bit more
control over it. And kind of keep him near him
during the raids. But if you see the way that,
like, Lion's Mane rages out, I think it would
probably terrify him again. It turns into a giant
fungus infested. Oh, my God. Yeah. Because you
get, like, a fungal form made out of mushrooms.
So it's a giant mushroom. That's so weird. Hardened
mushroom with huge claws and a tail. That's right.
It's insane. I remember all this from Spotlight,
but now it's like, oh, my God. I can't wait to
see it. Well, the classes are so fun to smash
together. It's like in every single fight, there's
at least one moment where you have to slap Pepper
out of the fear. Wake back up, kid. Come on.
Paloma has an intimidating leader feature where
she can yell insults at people to make them roll
better. Essentially a re -roll. Not roll better,
a re -roll. That's fun. And it's been pretty
cute to watch this mentor -mentee relationship.
Rules so hard. And we see this group over these
five weeks getting stronger, getting better equipped,
getting to know each other, to rely on each other,
becoming a true squad. And we cut to present
day. We cut to a vast cemetery set into the sands
of the desert. Rows and rows of ornate tombs
and sarcophagi, most carved of gray and white
marble. We see two plaques side by side against
an enormous monument of brass. And as our camera
slides past, we see they are marked with the
same name. Zebulon Brass. And looming high above
this resting ground of the dead, hundreds of
feet... My throat. I need beer. That'll help.
Hundreds of feet in the air, we see the Sky Prison
in all of its glory. A rounded structure built
on a platform of rough white crystal looking
to all the world like a cloud in the sky. Limestone
walls form a daunting fortress. Towers jut towards
the heavens, topped with rounded turquoise bulbs
pointed at their apex. We see grand mosaics of
yellow stones form images of blazing suns around
the fortress, matching red banners waving the
same emblem. We see no windows in the structure's
walls, only a few stone doorways carved into
the sides. And no stairs connect them, for this
fortress belongs only to the masters of the sky.
And we see such figures moving about. There are
celestials of the humanoid form, divas, pari,
you know these guys. Their number, one might
note, are relatively few here, and all concentrated
around the doors of the palace proper. But there
are other, less humanoid guardians as well. Figures
dancing around and below the fortress. Noble
pegasi that travel in flocks, darting around
with immaculate grace. Great winged mammoths
with shining golden fur. Their forms are simple,
almost like the fantasies of children. They could
look like harmless stuffed toys, were it not
for their massive forms and trumpeting call.
Hollyphants, they are called. Hanging amidst
all of this, stationary in the air, we see the
chief guardian of this place. A massive winged
lion, adorned by golden bands and jewels, grey
-furred with intricate turquoise patterns covering
the body. His white mane is gloriously braided,
spilling out from a handsome golden crown. His
wings, a breathtaking mix of pink, white, and
orange. He is a gray Arlen, sphinx of valor.
He who lingers between the land and the sky prison,
guardian of the dead below and the damned above.
And he is your target. Cool. Awesome. Great.
We pan away from this scene, away from the sky,
prison in the cemetery, trapped within the shadow
of the sun. We pan across burning dunes to a
place surrounded by a sea of sloping sand. And
we see three figures perched upon three flying
carpets. RZA. Paloma. Pepper. You are about to
engage in the most dangerous task you have ever
attempted. Very likely a suicide mission. How
do you all carry yourselves in this moment of
calm before the storm? RZA is sitting like crisscross
applesauce on the flying carpet, and he is calmly
flipping the pages over in a book, and he is
just reading. What book is this? I gotta know.
Sorry, I'm making it up. God, what is the fantasy
version of fantasy novels? Like, what would he
be reading? I guess sci -fi. I guess he's reading,
like, God, people going to space? That's crazy.
That's insane. Time travel? Nuts. He's reading
some, I just picture it as a gas station or an
airport novel. And he's just staying a little
calm, smoking one of his cigars while he's doing
it. And he's just kind of sitting there, crisscross
applesauce, chilling out. So mega chill. Yeah,
just really, before he has to rage out, just
really hanging out the whole time. Flips a page
over. You see as they get close, he probably
put it in a... a wax paper bag to keep it from
getting covered in blood. How about you, Paloma?
How you doing? How are you facing all of this
imminent death? Paloma's crouched on her carpet.
She looks like, you know, poised to make a move
in any direction. And she's kind of in... Some
sort of, like, resigned disbelief, like, this
is really the best crew they could find for this
mission. We can hear the mission. Us, this is
it. But yeah, we're the suicide crew. Yeah. And
hearing that, Pepper, what are you... Pepper
is sitting there very tense, very wide -eyed,
very just frozen again. However... He is a little
more composed this time. He's able to kind of
rein it in. Oh, shit. He's trembling a little
bit, but he's not. He's keeping it under control.
You're a ways away because you're looking towards
the sky. You know what you're facing. You know
what's coming. In fact, let me tell you what
you're actually dealing with here because this
is crazy. Before we get into the mission, though,
before we actually talk about it, what I want
to do before I forget is tell you this. This,
these, these are four buttons. This is your button
pool. I'm giving you a button pool tonight. You
get to decide who gets these buttons. How do
you want to divvy these things out? Oh, we're
divvying them out ahead of time? Oh yeah, you
gotta do it ahead of time. Yeah, I'm mean. I
want you to fight. Alright. Somebody gets three
buttons, somebody gets one button. I don't want
any buttons. I want John to have two buttons.
Holy schmoly. I'm the character that probably
doesn't matter to the story beyond this. I don't
need three buttons. He gets two. Sure. All right,
2 -1 -1. We've got to keep the beefy boy alive.
Okay, I like it. I like it. You are all going
to die. I feel like we need to keep Pepper alive.
He's like a fan favorite. Oh, dude, for sure.
David has no qualms killing fan favorites. I
know, he's going to kill him. Deeply gunning
for Pepper. I cannot wait. Jeremy hasn't had
a character die yet. It's coming. Oh, he already
killed one rabbit, so what's two? Yeah, exactly.
The thing is, I didn't choose this character,
so... Call me Elmer Fudd because it's wabbit
season. I mean, you're going to have to contend
with Jules if you kill Pepper. I'm killing him
too. But counter to my killing wishes, you each
are going to start this combat with a potion
of superior healing. You each get one. Nice.
Cool. Keep that in mind. You also have some magic
items provided. Pepper, I gifted you a wand of
fireballs matching your fiery nature or temperament.
So that might be helpful, a little ranged option.
Colum, what did you end up taking? The ring of
obscuring. I think that's a good idea. So it's
not a ring though, right? Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. So during the five weeks. Paloma
found a different supplier for cigars and she
got a cigar of obscuring. That's so awesome.
I thought it was going to be a piercing. And
she was also given a returning dagger from the
silent roar. Hell yeah. Okay. Okay. With that,
we see our characters on their carpets. All kind
of. waiting, waiting. We kind of pan out and
we see that each carpet has a hook driven through
it and a long line that leads down to the ground
below. We see cone -like devices looking almost
like brass bells rest against the sand. Boomhalers,
they are called. Every few moments, these boomhalers
buzz and shake violently. Dan, it's Dan. They
vibrate into the desert floor and the desert
vibrates back. This is so funny. This is deeply
connected to what our Monster of the Week monster
was. Remember the vibrating box with the switch
on it? Those deep cuts that listen to the monster.
Vaguely. You don't remember nine months ago?
Anyway. Was it only nine months ago? It was worms.
So anyway. It was two years ago. Is it the Mongolian
death worm? It was Mongolian. John New Edwards.
It was Mongolian death worm. These are bigger
than those. These are much bigger than those
because we see the first purple worm breaks the
surface in a cloud of dust. It is far from you
yet, maybe 300 feet out. It just begins driving
itself towards you with reckless abandon, desperate
to stop those insufferable vibrations. This creature
is gigantic beyond belief. It's segmented carapace
covered in spines. It's great opened maw lined
with point and venom -coated teeth shows only
a deep blackness within. The second worm appears
about 100 feet behind that and joins the charge.
A third appears just behind that. and you know
it is time to act. Zeno's plan is frankly insane.
Is it lure three purple worms into a giant lion's
lair? Pretty much. You're using these boomhalers
to lead whatever word you can get. It looks like
three purple worms are coming now towards the
Sky Prison and cause a scene of pure chaos in
the cemetery below. This will pull the guardian
beasts, the Celestials, into the fray and give
you a chance to strike at the leader of the guard,
Grealin, a figure powerful enough and fast enough
to pose a major threat to extraction efforts.
Meanwhile, Xena is going to lead a group to break
into the Sky Prison itself. With Celestial forces
posted on every world, the prison sees a much
lighter guard these days. maybe just light enough
to allow for the extraction of a few key revolutionary
figures. It's worth noting that the doors and
security systems of the prison are designed to
only open at the touch of a celestial. Thankfully,
it turns out that half -celestials stay pretty
well preserved after death. And the unfortunate
deceased Ramin Rasool certainly won't miss his
hands. Oh! Jesus Christ. What? A lot inspired,
perhaps, by the late, late Koli Jr. Wow. Can
I take your hand? Wow. Oh. Holy shit. Pretty
convenient that Ramin was entombed so close,
just beneath the fortress with all the honored
dead of Angkor and Sengar. And you guys thought,
this is being with a sweet, sweet lady. She's
cutting hands off. She's taking hands. I think
we just officially had the darkest moment. I
think it can get darker. And with all of that
said, we're caught up. It is time to do or die.
And in the doing, it's probably also going to
be dying. So let's go! Oh, God. So, let's get
into roll 20. If you don't need to roll 20, it's
not mandatory, John. I don't want 20 becoming
a Stephen. Sorry. I have, yeah, I have roll 20
up so we can... Because we're doing a good old
classic Fancy Pants chase sequence. But this
one's going to be a little weird. See, these
worms, you've got to let them get close enough,
right, that they can stay on the line. You are
not just running. You're also fishing. So sick.
Jesus Christ. The first thing I'm going to ask
is how close you let them get before you begin
to fly away. And know that your answer will determine
how many worms you manage to reel in. Okay, well,
I'm a fan of close, but without knowing a lot
of the mechanics, I don't know how close. You
want to roll a check about that? Sure, yeah.
I'll allow animal handling or nature. Anyone
can roll these. You're trying to get an idea
of how deep these vibrations are, how far they'll
travel, how much instinctually these creatures
will follow after them. Cool. That's intelligence.
Yeah, straight intelligence if you don't have
anything in those two. Yeah, it's only seven
for Pepper. So you're just blind guessing? Any
rolls to make still? Pull them a rolled 15. 15.
15's not bad. With a 15, you would think that
you'd want them, if you want to get all three
of them, you'd want to probably start off with
the first one, seeing how far away from each
other. Like the first one, we only get to land
50 feet away from you. No more 50 feet because
the other ones are sort of drawing back. They're
farther off. If you move now before it gets that
close, they might lose interest. Well, I was
briefed before we left, and I think we need to
let them get within 50 feet of us if we want
all three. Is that what you want? Starting off
on the 50 line? Pepper, lion? Yes, sure. Sorry,
looking at spells. So, even though you're on
carpets and not necessarily running, the way
this is going to work is I'm assuming, kind of
going to do with the rod of flying, that you
are just using your dash to recklessly fly and
keep a hold on it. If you can dash as a bonus
action, you have access to your actions. Otherwise,
you only have access to bonus actions during
the chase. If you use an action, you have disadvantage
on your next roll. Your rolls will be acrobatics.
You're going to take a plus six to them. based
on the move speed of 60 that the carpet of flying
has. You each have your own carpet. The worms
are 50 feet behind you. They're going to move
after you. If one touches you, it will destroy
your boom hailer and also kick your ass. If all
three boom halers are destroyed before the end
of these five rounds, no worms will follow you.
So, with all of that figured out, with all that
understood, I'm going to roll a check. Create
our baseline. We're going to be rolling yours,
be basing it off of what I roll. Let's see how
it goes. Okay. Everyone give me your acrobatics
checks with a plus six. It's a nat 20 and a waste
of it, I think. Maybe not. Maybe not. Harper's
got a dirty 20. Dirty 20, okay. 15. 15, all right.
Do you need the full number? Yeah, I actually
need the full number. Is it acrobatics right
here? Oh, you know what? I actually don't need
the full number. You, with a crit either way,
you gain 30 feet on it. All right, sick. So you
are now 80 feet ahead. That's huge. Pepper, no,
sorry, I moved Pepper. Well, but I don't want
to be that far ahead, right? It's okay now. They're
kind of chasing after you. You kind of got them
on the move. Don't leave, at this point, don't
leave the scale. Stay with 100 feet. But you
have, you get them in close. They're kind of
hooked on you. They're charging now, full force.
And you kind of zoom to 80 feet ahead. Pepper,
with a 20 dirty, you move up 10 feet. Just barely
edging this thing out. Paloma, you start to move
backwards just a bit. Oh, no. Only 10 feet back,
but you're falling behind. That's 40 feet. That's
round one. Oh, my God. A 15? Oh, yeah. I rolled
low. Next round. All right. Acrobatics checks.
Acrobatics, the plus six. Let's see what you
got. Will you fall into the maw of the worm?
Will you die before you even reach the combat?
Oh, crap! Oh, that's 30 feet ahead. So you're
just falling back, and you feel it, and you just
blast, surging forward. Hell yeah. That is a
19. A 19, okay. With a 19, Pepper manages to
once again get a little bit ahead. They're both
Paloma and Pepper reaching that 70 -foot -away
line, kind of once again side -by -side. RZA.
12. With a 12. they're mediocre actually yeah
you only fall back let me check this is it's
very much depends on what my what i wrote here
five or under difference is 10 feet okay uh with
a 12 with against my 17 you only go back 10 feet
now everybody is the 70 foot line uh everything's
going pretty good you're just like looking back
at the worms sliding towards you slowly gaining
but they're staying on you they're staying on
you you look ahead to see how far away you are
from your goal, see the sky prison, that obelisk
in the sky, you're moving towards it. When you
look ahead, what you see is a wall of billowing,
blowing sand. Those damn sudden sandstorms of
Anchor and Sangar always messing you up. You
are now locked in a sandstorm, and you're rolling
with disadvantage. But not me, because I'm not,
you know, flying. Isn't that great? Isn't that
awesome? So let's keep going. With disadvantage
on your rolls and me just doing my thing. And
it finally rolled good. Oh, no. It sounds bad.
What's going on over there? What'd you get, Pepper?
First roll was a 10. Second roll. It was a natural
one, so. So Paloma has Dash as a bonus action.
Her lowest roll was a 15. Can she use her bonus
action to try and help Pepper along? I'll give
you a help action. For Pepper for the next round,
is how I'll put it. Okay. So you're using a help
action as your action because you're dashing.
Yeah, I like that. You action, you see Pepper's
falling behind. Pepper, you drop 30 feet back.
Oh, no! Oh, no! The maw, open maw. Wait, wait,
wait, wait. And Paloma, you look back, what do
you say? This is, like, mean? Yeah, kind of.
You're going to have to get out of this yourself,
kid. I ain't pulling you out of that mouth. Did
you just hear that? What? You said 15? 15. Okay,
you still move back 10 feet. You're actually
also... Whoa, that's 20. Huh? You're at... Oh,
yeah, you're right. Wait. I was at 70. Sorry.
You put me at 50. I... Hang on. I think I messed
with the way this goes. Sorry, you're right.
No, it's 20 feet. My bad. It was 10 feet. It's
five. It's every five... You go back 10 more
feet. So you go back 10 feet. You're at 50. I'm...
Who made these rules? Damn it, Steven. Paloma
at 50 feet. Pepper at 40 feet. This thing's getting
closer. RZA. That was a 10 total. 10 total, which
puts you back with Paloma. Not crit bad, but
this thing's gaining on you suddenly. You can't
even see it. You look back and you just hear...
You might be able to vaguely... Pepper's probably
just far enough back to vaguely make out this...
Scoop and maw through the bits of sand rushing
over you. Next round. Two more to go. You're
getting close. You know that fortress is close.
And I rolled better than ever before. Oh, no.
Are we still at disadvantage? Oh, of course you
are. Great, great, great, great, great. You think
I'm nice? Ooh, first roll's good, though, so.
I'm going to eat you all. Fuck. Oh my goodness.
Wow, that's the same roll twice, which is...
No, no, no. 26. I needed a second to count anyways,
so... Jesus Christ. I rolled a natural 20 first.
Yeah. Yeah, second roll was a 2 for 10. Wait,
but what does Paloma give to Pepper? So then
you do that 20, because you would have gotten
your first roll. Oh, so it took away the disadvantage.
Great, excellent. So you say to Pepper, Pepper!
Surges ahead to 70 feet again. Paloma with a
25. Bunch of little bunny pellets dropping on
the sand. I'm sorry, I'm scared. Paloma, you
actually moved back 10 feet. With a 26? Yep.
Jeez, dude, you suck. I got 28. Hey, you're only
43 away. Dude, I rolled a 17. RZA, how you doing?
Am I done it wrong the first few times? Am I
adding my... decks to it as well. Yes, your acrobatics
plus the plus six. Mine plus six plus whatever
I roll. Yes. That's like 21. 21, okay. Also,
oh sorry, over five. You actually go back 20
feet to 30 feet away. I know, I'm rolling crazy.
That crit was amazing. This thing's going fast
and you just blast ahead. Pepper looks back now
and feels really guilty. Oh, but that puts us
in our last round. As you're moving, you're sliding
in. You begin to see something around you, kind
of down below you, structured. And you realize
you're reaching the very edge of the cemetery.
You're seeing the far -off graves, vague shapes
in the sand. You're so close. Let's give us one
more. And you're actually all in pretty good
shape, unless John rolls a one. In which case,
we're just getting munched. 22 for Paloma. 22.
You move back 10 feet, just a little closer.
Pepper? That was a 15 for Pepper. The second
roll is another crit, but Pepper's still starting
back 10 feet. You're 50 feet away. Back where
you started. This thing is gaining. Riz, you're
the closest to the maw. 21. 21. Actually is not.
Bad. It puts you only 10 feet. Just barely edging
out. You're 20 feet ahead of this thing. And
with that, as you're all just moving, moving,
none of your, what do you call them? Boom. They're
in the book. Boom. Boom. Boom. I can't do the
boom hour. I mean, either. Boom. You're close.
Boom. You're. still making that racket behind
you, and you move on the end of our fifth round
out of the sand and into more chaos. All hell
is breaking loose around you as the sandstone
falls behind, begins to dissipate as if touching
a magical field, and you are sliding into the
cemetery proper. You see as the worms... Break
out behind you swarms of Celestials Pegasi and
in Harley fence gonna dive down a lot as they
die there's a sound that echoes down from the
fortress above like a thousand trumpets blaring
in unison You see the white crystal that carries
a sky prison flash with a bright light, and the
entire prison is obscured by an arcane mirage.
Thick white clouds fill the sky for a mile around.
The sounds of trumpet sort of vanishes as if
muffled by the cloud cover. You know that somewhere
up there, Xena is making her move. Behind you,
the purple worms crash through the cemetery,
sending chunks of marble flying with sprays of
sand. You begin to slide upwards, knowing now
that your mission is accomplished. Maybe even
cut the boo -halers. You keep the boo -halers.
You're cutting them off. Do you want to have
them on you as you move up, away from the surface
towards the sky? Is there any reason to keep
them? That's up to you and your imaginations.
Sure, I guess I'll keep them. Ooh. Yeah, you
can reel them in, yeah. Yeah, sweet. Yeah, fuck
it, yeah. Just so we have a rope if we need it.
I love that. You're kind of reeling over the
shoulder as you're sliding up, the three of you
moving, and you see the Fjordwarn just crashing
down below through the cemetery, chunks of marble
flying, sprays of sand, and they are met with
an immediate resistance. Pegasi and Hollyfinch
dropping en masse to engage with them. Threaten
the worms, fight back. They're hissing, echoing
through the air above. And ahead of you and above
you, the guardian sphinx, Grelin, hovers in the
open sky, eyes locked on you, his mighty wings
beat once, and suddenly he is surging towards
you, and you hear something echoing through the
air, and you realize he is laughing. Yes! Glory!
Oh yes, I've not had a hunt in ages. Make it
fun for me, enemies of righteousness. I'll make
sure there's enough of your bodies left to rock
away once all is done. And we'll call it there.