People! Just want to say real quick, the obvious,
thank you so much for being here right now, listening
to this show. You're the best. You individually,
right there, the one on top of two, me and you.
You're the best. Enjoy. Storyteller Rune is not
here because school is in session. What does
that mean? Hang on. It's not loading. I don't
know. It's not loading. We also did make a school
is in session joke with the episode description
like two episodes ago. We're in a school. We
are in a school, but we've already used the school
is in session joke. Hey, you can't make that
same joke again. Yeah. Well, school is in session
a different way now. I was trying to load a bell
sound. It wouldn't happen. The fader's down.
That's the school bell. There it is. Where are
you? That was a school bell? I had the fader
turned down. You didn't tell me that I needed
it up the instant we started the show. Oh. It
was down. It just was muted. Damn it. Put the
thing back up. Let's do a school bell. You just
heard it. Ready? School is in session. Yeah!
Welcome to Fancy Pants School Edition. I don't
know. Because while we're running around the
school, I've got a little challenge for you both
and for me as well. I want you to teach us something.
And I want to teach you guys a little something.
I want to talk about some factoids here. Because
I found this fact, right, that I kind of came
across. It was more something I was looking into,
had a little shower thought, and got deep -dived
in. And I was like, my mind was blown. All right?
And I've been kind of living with this monkey
on my back of this wild, crazy, scientific fact,
and I want to share it with you and ruin your
lives too. Okay. Because it's awesome. And to
make it more interesting, how about we get a
button? A button for whoever drops the sickest
bit of knowledge will use audience applause as
a distinguisher. What? Yeah. I didn't know that
was the criteria. Check it out. Mine's kind of
cute. I don't think it's... Audience applause.
I'll load it up. I don't have like a global scale
or a universal scale. I can't wait. To use that
button against you that I'm going to earn for
myself. Jeremy's like Googling fun facts. I started
thinking of things earlier today and then stuff
with work happened and I completely fucking forgot.
But no, there's one specific fun fact that I'm
Googling right now just to double check exactly
how it's stated because it's really kind of weird.
I love weird, crazy science. We get a lot of
the weird, magical science of this world here,
but let's talk about the crazy fucking lore of
Earth. All right? Okay. Of our world. Get some
crazy lore. Mine's not super scientific. Do you
want to save? No, do yours because it's going
to suck. It's boring. No, I think it's kind of
fun. Hang on. Give me a second. Okay. I remember
what mine was. There it is. That's the weakest
applause. We'll do yours first. Dude, wait. Hold
on. Hold on. Oh, you got one too? He's got something
for this. He's got something for this. Yeah.
Damn. Yeah. I thought I controlled the applause.
Hold on. Hold on. Wait for it. Wait for it. Whoa,
damn. Dude, my fact's going to be sick now. Oh,
shit. All right. You're the hype man. Yeah. All
right. Cool, cool. So get this. That ruled. Next.
Continue. If you spell out numbers, like O -N
-E is how you spell one, T -W -O is how you spell
two, you don't encounter the letter A until 1
,000. Ooh. What? Ooh. Okay. Right? That kicks
ass. That's pretty cool, right? Yeah, we get
some applause. Hey, I've learned something today.
It's really funny because my fun fact is kind
of related, and I think it's kind of in the same
arena. Okay. At least. Let's duke these fun facts
out. If you count from zero, your lips do not
touch until you hit one million. What? Give me
a second to count to one million real quick.
Let's test this out. Give me a minute. Holy shit.
Counting from zero, your lips do not touch until
you hit one million. All right. That's crazy.
We got some, I was going to say math. I don't
know if that's count as math. I think it's math
world. More linguistic quirks, right? Yeah! Get
in there! For our international fans, it's maths.
All right, then. Here's mine. Mine's going to
leave the world of math and go into the world
of science, okay? Because this one kind of messed
me up a little bit. So, absolute zero is the
coldest possible... Right? Do you know what absolute
zero actually is? Do you know what the, it's
zero Kelvin. Yeah, we experienced it last weekend.
Yeah. Do you know what the actual degree is though?
Give me Fahrenheit, Celsius, whatever. Do you
have a guess? Give me a guess. No. No. Give me
a guess like, you want me to actually guess?
Give me a guess, yeah. Like negative 8 ,000 degrees.
You're actually way off. It's way less, this
is actually weird. It's less than you think is.
Negative 459 .67 degrees Fahrenheit or 273 degrees
Celsius. Negative 273. So it's only like less
than 500 degrees Fahrenheit negative is absolute
zero. And that is, again, the coldest you can
possibly get because it is the baseline for our
universe. You don't get cold. You just get less
hot. The universe is just that cold naturally.
So that's the floor. What do you think the ceiling
is? Jesus Christ. What is the hottest temperature
ever recorded on Earth? Another guess. Oh, on
Earth. Interesting. On Earth. Well, I mean, I
know that they've done scientific experiments
that clock temperatures hotter than the surface
of the sun. Dude, give me a degree. Like man
-made or natural? Man -made. Just the possible.
I'm talking like theoretical possibilities. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Jesus. In Fahrenheit? In Fahrenheit.
Probably like something billion. Okay, yeah,
billion. What do you got? I'm going to flip it.
I'm going to go 8 ,000 degrees. Oh. Scientists
have recorded experience resolving in temperatures
of 9 .9 trillion degrees in CERN's Hadron Collider.
That is 5 .5 trillion degrees Celsius for internationals.
I don't understand how the world doesn't turn
to ash. That's so unbelievably fucking hot. It's
not even close to Planck temperature. That's
the theorized absolute hot. I am more curious
about the science of how you create something
to hold that. Exactly, exactly. You'd think if
a spark of that hot happened, the whole world
would burn up in ash. It seems fundamentally
dangerous and irresponsible to even try to make
something that hot because if something goes
wrong, I think the world is gone. We don't have
it anymore. It's vaporized. That's so hot. And
it's not even close. So I'm not going to make
you guess this one, but the theorized absolute
hot is... 1 .42 times 10 to the 32nd power Kelvin.
Yeah, I mean, like, I didn't even comprehend
the first number, you know what I mean? So it's
about 100 million, million, million, million,
million degrees. Jesus. Yeah, that just doesn't
mean anything. It doesn't mean anything. But,
like, it's so ridiculous. Like, you wouldn't
think there's that much of a space between the
coldest you can get and the hottest you can get.
But it, like, I don't know, I read that, and
it was just like, that's... That doesn't even
make sense, right? That's crazy, right? Dude,
even the Earth's core is only 10 ,800 degrees
Fahrenheit. Like, holy shit. I'll give myself
applause. See, the thing is, it was like, it's
too big. It's too big to impress me. What? I
can't comprehend it. It's your small brain. Yeah.
I get no button. You get a two small brain. No,
you don't get a button. Well, I think that's,
I think that's one of the cool things about the
universe is we, our brains are so small that
there, there's no conceivable way for us to actually
fathom. My mind was more blown by the one million
thing than by the ten gajillion bazillion degrees.
It is pretty wild. It is pretty wild. It's crazy.
All those things are crazy. Yeah. Well, congratulations
to you all for teaching and congratulations to
all you listeners for learning. They didn't have
a choice. They didn't have a choice. They're
like, can you get to the dungeon crawl? That
also had no value. Get back to school. Sorry,
you can't. Here's your certificate of useless
knowledge. Speaking of useless knowledge. Well,
who gets a button? Huh? I don't know. Who gets
a button? Nobody. We all kind of fail. You write
it. We all get a button. What? You write it,
listeners. Tell us who gets a button and tell
them why it's me. I take back my we all get a
button. David doesn't get a button. Well, right.
See, that's the thing. When we put it in the
hands of the pants people, more often than I'm
comfortable with does it come back with David
gets a button. Dude, okay. It's out there. It's
out there. Pants people. Hey, hey. Shut up. This
is for me. Pants people. You know who I am. You
know I've been there for you. Like the biggest
dick on the podcast. In my class, there's never
any homework, fans people. And I always listen.
So give me a button. Roll deception. You guys
want to get back in the school of school school?
Yeah, let's do it. Recess is over. There you
go. There you go. Wait, hang on. Give him a button.
Hang on. Reset is over. I'm sorry. That sounds
more like a church bell than a school bell to
me. Yeah, it does. Let's do this thing. You step
out of the alchemy lab in Anissa Academy, walking
about into this sort of wide, 30 -foot wide hallway
that you have seen everything there is to see
west of this point. But there's still so much
to see to the east. There's a... door on the
other side the last door in this hall um and
then one more to the north and there's a hallway
that snakes farther north than that leading into
more long hallways more doors more undiscovered
locations and you know there are students out
there you know one has escaped you know one has
their mental form at least has died but do you
really understand what's happening here Do you
understand the mechanics of this? As you carry
this oil of sharpness, a final gift from someone
who may have died? What's going through your
mind? Blanche wants to find more information
about what these are, how they work. Because
you're right. We don't know. We don't know Diddley
Squat. She... Wants to know if she can save any
of these students. She knows that the suit can
bind the soul. But she doesn't know if there's
a way to break the binding. She doesn't know
if these students have bodies somewhere. If they
can be reunited. And there you find the grand
irony in all this, don't you? Because the place
where you imagine answers would most likely lie.
Isn't Kajal Kamal's secret workshop the one he
talked about, hinted at, in that final exam message
on the board, the rules of this killing game?
But to reach that place, you need to find four
stone tablets buried in the chest cavities of
these armors and place them in a certain location.
What do you do when you come to face these things?
You avoided the first encounter without having
to. potentially destroy any souls or release
them, but there are more awaiting you. Three
students unaccounted for, right? And one of them
is already killed. Do you think we can save them,
Dresden? What does your gut tell you? I don't
know anything at this point. We're just going
to have to find out. We keep moving. You're right.
We won't learn anything standing here in the
hall. Where do you go? Why do we go, Dresden?
Let's go across the hall here. See another door
just north of the conjuration hall room? You
gonna open it? Yeah. Boom. You open up to the
back of another lecture hall. You see a door
to the north. This leads right back into that
long hallway you came down from. Another door
to the east that opens, you know, nowhere. This
room is... Unlike the one, it's like the main
sort of speaking platform is on the eastern side
of the room. You see chairs lined up. It's kind
of down like this sort of sloped room, all looking
down at that one board. And you do see there's
something written on the board here. You're kind
of looking around. You see like, I think there
is actually a straight up. assigned word to the
classroom kind of scrawled in chalk on the top
of the chalkboard it just says transmutation
uh you've seen a number of the spell schools
here already and you're finding another one here
now but there's more on the board too you can
sort of make it out from where you stand you
guys want to read it yeah blanche wants to get
close enough so she can read the board it's so
funny we talked about numbers earlier because
You see a bunch of numbers on the board here
now. A number of numbers? A number of numbers.
Get ready. I'm sorry I do this to you guys. Get
ready for this. To be solved by first years only.
To transmute is to transform, and transformation
carries certain rules. One must understand the
means of transformation if one is to reach a
final product. This sequence below transforms
via a certain rule. Find it, finish it, and accept
your reward. And you see a number of numbers
beneath that. You see rows. First row is 1. Second
row is 1 -1. Third row is 2 -1. Fourth row is
1 -2 -1 -1. Fifth row is 1 -1 -1 -2 -2 -1. And
sixth row is 3 -1 -2 -2 -1 -1. Got all that?
No. No, send it to us. I'll send it to you. Well,
actually, no, I don't have Discord on this computer.
Yeah, I'm going to open a dock for it. Yeah.
All right, I'm going to pause. Okay, we have
everything written down. All written down. So
if you guys can figure it out, you can figure
it out. If you can't, maybe you can roll some
die. Your characters are pretty smart. I can
give you some hints. Yeah, Blanche has a bonkers
intelligence. Bonkers intelligence. Cool, yeah,
Dresden's going to roll as well. Okay. What do
we... Rolling for maths. I think, ooh, I guess
it's investigation. Give me straight intelligence.
Just straight intelligence. Okay. You sure you
don't want investigation? I'm sure. You sure
you don't want investigation? Eyes of my new
seeing, like, wait. I've written really small
over here. That's the answer. God damn it. Oh,
fuck. No, eight. Eight? God. Oh, no. I didn't
have advantage, so. This is not the kind of puzzle
you're good with. I mean, this is just like a
weird little logic puzzle, but when you're looking
at it, it's like. But all you can tell is there's
no mathematical relation, right? That's what
I'll say is the fact that Blanche can't figure
it out means that it's not just simple math.
There's something dumber, I guess, that's leading
to this. And that's what you're realizing. You're
like, this is too stupid and I can't quite grasp
what it is. But there is some kind of rule. Oh,
I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got
it. I got it. Stand by. Okay. I got it. I got
it. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. The last line
is 1 -3 -1 -1 -2 -4 -2 -1 -1 -1 -1. Or four ones.
Hold on. You know exactly where I'm going with
this. You're literally saying out each number.
So there's 1 -3 -1 -1 -1 -2 -1 -2 -4 -1. Or 1
-1 -1 -1. I might have gotten the last one wrong,
but you are correct. You do know what you're
doing. Holy shit. You know what's really funny?
I figured it out, but Dresden rolled a two. The
thing is, I love this because Blanche is almost
too smart to figure this out. Dresden looks at
it and he's like, oh, I see. He's pragmatic.
Well, and the thing is, what's really funny is
my die came down and it hit on a natural 20,
but then rolled over onto the two. Hell yes.
You got it. Yes, every line transforms based
on what the last line is. It's just saying the
last line out loud. So it's one. That is two
ones. There's one one. And there's two ones.
That is one two. One, two, and one, one. And
that's how it goes down over the end. Good shit.
Thank you. Jeremy. Thank you. You know what?
Take a button on top of that. Thank you. Thank
you, thank you, thank you. Do you write this
down on the board? Yes. I think Dresden just
doesn't even say anything. He'll just walk up
while Blanche is kind of sitting here. Yeah,
I'm like, even Steven is still working through
it. It's clearly impossible. We must leave. And
Dresden will just come up like Matt Damon in
Good Will Hunting. This is the start of it. And
he's just going to finish it. Door opens. Teacher
just kind of looks in and sort of nods. Single
tear drops. Like, finally. Finally. You write
this down. Damn. And as you write it down, you
see the entire sequence on the board fades. And
the entire chalkboard slides up. Pinned to the
wall behind it. There are two scrolls. A scroll
of stone skin and a scroll of arcane eye. Oh,
shit. Oh, I don't remember offhand arcane eye.
Yeah, I don't know what either of those are.
Do explain. Let's see. Scroll of stone skin.
This turns a flesh of a willing creature. You
touch as hard as stone until a spell ends. The
target has resistance to non -magical bludgeoning,
piercing, and slashing damage. Really good buff
spell. And then Arcane Eye. It kind of gives
you a better turbo. You create an invisible magical
eye within range that hovers in the air for the
duration. You mentally receive visual information
from the eye, which has normal vision and dark
vision out to 30 feet. It can look in every direction.
As an action, you can move it in any direction.
There's no limit to how far away it can move,
but it can't enter another plane of existence.
It can't pass through solid barriers, but it
can pass through an opening as small as one engine
diameter. okay so yeah kind of just a almost
a better turbo yeah upgrade to your turbo so
these are these are um just spell scrolls right
what level are they because like it doesn't let
me pull up scroll oh gotcha uh fourth level oh
shit and that's arcane eyes fourth level stone
skin is also fourth level damn good shit it's
good shit yeah that's great shit um okay Good
shit on Dresden, though. That's great. I can't
believe you figured it out so fast. Hell yeah,
dude. Yeah, that was wild. That's awesome. I
was, like, worried. I was kind of sweating, like,
this is going to be the worst audio ever. It's
been one hour saying numbers out loud, trying
to figure it out. And you know what? Good on
you. You saved the episode. Dude, for real. I
did my darndest to ruin this episode. Hold on.
Let me change the name of this. So, staring at
these spell scrolls on the wall. Blanche will
reach into her pocket and pull out the flask,
the vial that we made last episode and hand it
to Dresden. Well, I think this cool shit's for
me, so it's only fair that you should take this
one. It's a wizard school, man. I mean, I was
going to suggest that Dresden takes the Iowan.
What was it called? Can you use them? Can I use
them? Actually, I don't know if scrolls work.
Yeah, check that. I don't use scrolls, I'm a
DM. Because if it works for Dresden, my initial
thought was Dresden takes that, so we have two
that can do that, and then I was thinking about
giving the other one to, or suggesting the other
one go to Jean. Yeah, I think you might be able
to use them once, but you have to make a check.
Okay. But if Blanche has them, she can copy them
into her spellbook. And actually, it looks like
only someone who has access to the magic at the
school would be. There it is. It has to be. There
it is. So Dresden takes and goes, God damn it.
I get the next two. You get the next two scrolls?
But it's what? Isn't it like an hour or something?
Or is it an hour per level to learn the spell?
To copy it into her spell book? That's a fair
question. Let me look it up. Again, we don't
use scrolls very much. When a spell is copied
from a spell scroll, success is a check. Darn
it. I have to look up spell books to find them.
I think so. I think you're right. You might need
to take a break if you want to actually use them.
Either take a break or we just won't be able
to use them. And you do have components Jean
found earlier. Yeah, that's right. So you have
money worth. Yeah, I got those written down.
200 gold worth, I believe, so far. Yeah, but
isn't a fourth level spell like way more than
that? I don't remember what it is. I'm not going
to look it up right now. So knowing this, Dresden
will hand the vial back. Since you can't use
those. It's all right. I'll figure out a way.
I'll take all of them. Put it in my mouth. Well,
Dresden, should we go back to the hall or should
we continue through? Yeah. It's tough. There's
so much to see. You can go north or you can go
west. Either way is unknown. Okay, so we all...
We all know that he's still assuming two or one
room just to the north of us here. We need to
finish them off. Right. And Dresden would want
to. Between us and the spell training ground.
However, I think we should go into the south
door here because that way we can confirm that
the door, you know, if there's a door over here,
we can confirm that it just connects everything.
Let's confirm it. Okay. You open the door? Yep.
Boom. I'll give you some of this room because
there's a lot of obstructions to block your vision
as you peek in. You walk in, you open the door,
and you're looking into a massive library. You
see a number of long shelves lined with books
running long ways down this room, and you do
see it's all one room. As you said, all this
four doors, two doors connecting into the spell
training grounds, two doors connecting into the
hallway to the east of you. All connecting into
this one room. You've kind of now filled out
the entire sort of west half of the school with
this. You're looking at this number of tables
sitting out before you. Small tables with single
chairs. Looks like a place where people can go
and study together. Study separately. Grabbing
books. And we'll say one thing you know is there
is a book lying on the table. Sort of just before
you there, Dresden. Just in front of this door
as you walk in the room. Everything else. Totally
put away, but there's just a single book that
sort of seems like it's lying down, cover open,
and sort of like the hard cover up top, pages
kind of pressed against the table. You know when
you're walking through the grocery store and
you're looking for somebody? So you're just walking
down the aisles and you're looking down the aisles?
Yeah. Blanche wants to do that to kind of fill
up the rest of the room because it's longer than
it is wide by quite a big margin. Cool. So she
just wants to walk the like 40 or so feet. Sure,
to the right. Walk Blanche all the way over there?
Well, I mean, she would go bit by bit and look
down the aisle. Okay. While she's doing that,
Dresden is opening the book. In one last aisle.
And you see the room is clear? Just see books
and books and books. You walk over to the book,
Dresden? Yeah. You just see this book on the
table is simply called The Art of Potatoes. What?
Pulled from the hungry familiar bookworm zine.
Thank you, Meg. Oh, my God. Do you just ignore
it? Do you take a look at it or anything? I mean,
it couldn't hurt to look at it. You pick it up
and you look at the page. No, you can just grab
it and look. You kind of lift it and you see
it's already open to a page. Just press down.
You kind of pick it up and you see. There is
a line highlighted on this open page. Looks like
it's part of a chapter discussing the more spiritual
aspect of potato farming. It just says... This
is serious school for serious scholastic people.
It just says, one could be surprised by the rewards
reaped when one shows true care for the inanimate.
Oh. It's fucking deep for a potato book. Sounds
like a potato wrote it. But with that, nothing
looks out of place in this room. Just that weird
little book there. What do you want to do? Okay.
Gosh. Your call, Blanche. I'm trying to think
if there might be some book in here that could
help us. I wouldn't know where to begin looking,
though. You see in this room, I'll say, because
maybe you're kind of looking at the various subjects
in here. Right, exactly. And it looks like it's
involving history, more to the western side,
and then it kind of gets further into biology
and agriculture, and from there into kind of
like animal lore and care. Any like back corner
hidden bookshelves, maybe like a necromancy area?
No. I'll save you the roll. Nothing like that
in here. Wow. You can do a deep dive roll in
this room and see if you want to like really
comb it. That's fine. I will say you need to
actually roll. You can't take time on this one.
Sure. In a room like this, if there are secrets,
it's going to be hard to find them. You're going
to need to roll investigation and you're going
to need to roll high because there's so many
places to look in a library. Okay. I think Blanche
is comfortable in libraries. She's familiar with
libraries. That's her mind palace as a library.
I think she's going to use that familiarity,
throw her eyes up my new seeing on, and try an
investigation check. Okay. All right. Two and
a three on the die. Nope. Just an eight. Nothing
stands out. Yeah. She's distracted. I mean, she
would love to be able to take an afternoon and
really dive into these shelves and read and learn,
but it's just not what she can focus on right
now. I don't have time for this. It's too overwhelming.
There's too much here. We're wasting precious
time. I think we just need to try and see what
else we can find, Dresden. I'm sorry. I don't
want to stay here any longer. Then let's go.
Lead the way. You guys taking that potato book
with you? Yes, we'll take the potato book. Just
gonna leave it on the table. When this is all
over, I want to start a farm. He shoves it under
his shirt. I never knew that about you, Dresden.
I never knew that either. Until now. Dresden's
like, cool, I finally got a cool thing. I got
a potato book. If you read that, this is actually
by Meg. You get advantage on any agricultural
checks. Really? Knowledge checks around potatoes.
Fuck yeah. Yeah, you know your shit. Cool. Steven
is so mad that we're probably leaving some really
great nuggets of knowledge behind. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I mean... Who can
say? Certainly not me. The fact that it would
be so hard to find anything leads me to believe
it's not much. Well, that tells me the opposite.
It's probably not crucial to solving the puzzle,
but probably super helpful. So Blanche will bust
out into the hall through the eastern door. And
Justin will go, oh, shit. And he'll run around
the outside corner and chase after him. Gosh.
Two doors on this side and a hallway in the north.
Wait, where's the second door? I just see this
door here. It's probably because I didn't really
highlight it well enough. There you go. Oh. Ah,
there it is. Okay, I mean, that's the obvious
door. That's right in front of us. You're walking
out and you're okay? Yeah. You guys going into
the other room here? Yeah. I say we take this
one, Dresden. Dresden will pop it open. It's
another wing. of the library you open up and
immediately you just see uh four tables lined
up against the sort of western wall that you're
approaching in from and you see all these racks
uh yeah just like this like bookshelves going
far into the back of the room and it just goes
on and on and on there's a door right below you
there actually right to the south uh two doors
in fact as you walk into the room blanche is
gonna read the the like subject matter on the
Library shelves. Again, she wants to look to
see if there's anything that talks about necromancy.
Shorter shelf here. First one, just like combat
arts. And then you kind of look and then you
see a lot of these are more the dense magical
stuff, right? It's like your abjuration books,
conjuration. You don't immediately see anything
on necromancy. If there is necromancy, it's not.
publicly written down because you see signs immediately
pointing to different parts of the library where
you can find books on each major magical subject
alchemy and artifice and everything you've seen
so far here okay so i think she wants to maybe
like walk the walk the bookshelves and scan and
try to find where there might be like a quote
-unquote hidden section about necromancy maybe
it's not um you know prominently displayed Okay.
You go in and start moving. Where's everyone
else going while this is happening? Keo is following
Blanche close behind. Yeah. Dresden is following
in. I kind of want to crack this door. But I'm
scared to crack that door. Don't be scared of
a little crack. So you're going to the door.
Where's John? He's staying with you? Yeah. Where
is John? You've been... Oh, he's back in the
rope room. He's way over there. He's just panning
over to the rope room and John's just in his
mouth. So yeah, while she's going, Dresden will
crack that door. Alright, let's get John over
here. I suppose he stays by you, Dresden. I kind
of just want everyone to be separated. Alright,
you crack open the door down there. Blanche,
you go ahead and start moving. Yes. You're looking
in and it seems like some kind of personal quarters,
Dresden? Chepico, and then you see another small
shelf in here, a desk with a nameplate there.
It just says, Miss Rochelle. Our cartographer.
Sound Pukey Girl Maps, PhD. Sound Pukey Girl
PhD. It's a map on the table. And you're looking
and you see this little divider on the other
side of the room and you don't see what's beyond
that divider. Okay. You said there's, wait, where's
the divider? That little squiggly line. Squiggly
line. And I don't see behind it? You don't see
behind it. You need to move around it to see
behind it. Very effective divider. Yeah. Right.
Yeah. Sorry if this is stupid. I'm going to bring
John in with me and look behind the divider.
Okay. I don't think it's stupid. I thought something
could suck me in. Yeah, I mean, it's what we're
doing. We're crawling. We're dungeon crawling.
Move into the room. Move up to this divider.
You see it looks like a long sort of black curtain
on this side of the room, and you go to move
to the curtain to lift it to look beyond. As
you're reaching down, Blanche, you were doing
something? Oh, fuck. What are you doing? Yeah,
Blanche is going to find the bookshelf that,
well, she'll start with the left -hand bookshelf
here, just to the left of the door. Start to
peruse them. Try to see if she can find a section
that piques her interest. She's specifically
looking for books on necromancy. Just go ahead
and move your character. He just cares where
you're at. Scanning down it. Focusing in. You
don't see anything. Nothing on necromancy. This
is where it's all combat arts. Kind of stuff
that you would specialize in. It's like a low
shelf. Nothing that really stands out to you.
Okay. She'll... She'll move a few feet over to
check the shelf. You move over to an eastern
shelf that kind of snakes our elbows out, and
there's an alcove you can't quite see just north
of you. The beginning of the long darkness of
the unseen shelves of the library. We pan back
into the bedroom. You want to open that curtain?
Yeah. The bedroom? Oh, you said personal quarters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I misplaced personal quarters
with like an office. Gotcha, gotcha. It's a combo.
Is it something that could just be like ripped
down? Yeah. Okay. He just rips it down. I'm getting
changed. Empty bed. You see nothing. Anything
worth a check? Could be. I'm gone. Only a check
will tell. I know. All right. You're going to
start looking? Investigation? Yeah. Okay. Hold
your roll. You're not going to be finishing that
check. Right, right. Because as you go to look,
we pan back out into the main room. Oh, no. As
something slides out from the darkness of the
alcove. Holy shit. We see this gigantic scorpion.
with this translucent light blue shell like nothing
you've ever seen before. You see its tail is
dripping with this purple ichor, this venom.
It comes out to strike at Blanche and Akio. Roll
for initiative. Oh, God. Three rolls between...
Blanche and Akio. What do we got? Blanche got
a five. Akio got a nine. Big trouble. Big trouble.
Dresden is a 12. Jaune is a 15. Jaune's the fastest
one on the field. That's the first time that
has ever happened. Oh, let me roll. Once Blanche
notices, of course, she'll, you know, sail over
her shoulder. Ah. Dresden. You hear that, Dresden,
and you kind of turn. Blanche, I'll be the first
to go. This thing is going to run up to you.
It is going to attack you. It's going to attack
you three times. Oh, man. Holy shit. That's a
miss. That's a miss. Now the one that really
matters. Here comes the sting. You just two claws
come out and you kind of just parry, parry. And
the stinger flashes down at you. And then Akio
is going to use his defender reaction. Oh, wait
a minute. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Creature within five feet of, oh no, the creature's
not within five feet of Akio. You're within five
feet of Akio, so defender works for you. Okay.
Yep, he can defend you, basically. Gotcha. So
I believe, right? Maybe I'm wrong. It says it's
reaction to impose disadvantage on the attack
roll of a creature within five feet of it, whose
target is not the sidekick. So Defender doesn't
work, but Warding Bark does. Okay, all right.
So he's going to use the Warding Bark reaction.
Hell yeah. I mean, you see, like, this thing's
coming at you. That poison tail, and you think
about the puncture wounds and the armor just...
Down the side of the library, you see that same
purple ichor and you realize there's so much
more going on here than just this creature. What
does warding bark do? That imposes disadvantage,
causing a light to flare before the attacker.
Hell yeah. Yeah. Read the whole thing for me.
Yeah, it says, you like start to finish? Read
the end of it. An attacker that can't be blinded
is immune to this feature. What about an attacker
with blindsight? Is my question. I guess that
would count as can't be blinded. So I'm going
to say it does not actually ask flashes out.
It doesn't do anything. Fuck. Oh, let's just
roll. Miss. Okay. Still miss. Damn it. Dude,
I'm rolling so cold tonight, but it's going to
change. It's going to change. This thing, the
flashing light. And you see it still tries to
strike true at you, but you managed to parry
it at the last second, Blanche. That poison barbed
tail just by your eye gets sliding off to the
side. And now, oh, now, let's bring the others
out. Oh, God. Wait, others? Oh, no. With my 80
-foot movement doubled, the second one slides
out. Jesus. comes crawling down across the floor
from the north, slides on top of one of these
tables, looking over at Kiyo, not quite able
to strike, but it's poised aggressively to make
a move. And you see another one follows behind,
sliding down as well, just a short ways north
of the two. And suddenly you find yourself surrounded
by scorpions. And it's going to be Jean. Jean?
Stay back if you can. They're bunched up. I might
be able to do something here. So Jean will move
to Blanche, just behind her. And he will say,
are you sure? Are you sure, sir? Yeah, I don't
know that Jean has any ranged attack actions.
No, but he was going to go into shell defense
for a turn. If you really don't want him to do
anything. Well... Brace for Riptide? Brace for
Riptide? She'll kind of use some of their training
speak to sort of direct him to not get within
a certain area. She'll be like, stay within Snow
Crab's length of me. Snow Crab's length? They're
long, but not too long. Like a long crab reach.
Okay, so tell me what the fuck... Kind of like
in this corner here. That's the title of the
episode. Wait, she wants him to stay away, but
she wants him to go right next to this one? Well,
so that's away from, like, this center. This
is kind of what I'm... I'm trying to do something
here that's going to do... What about right here,
then? Yeah, but then he won't be able to attack
there. True. Okay, good point. Okay, say yes,
sir. Yes, sir! He slides up. moving up beside
the sort of combat art shelf you were looking
at before, moving up towards the scorpion that's
kind of staying on a table, and now you have
that one sort of in the range of Jaune and Akio.
So then he will go there and then go into your
shell defense? Hell yeah. And he wraps up in
the shell. This thing kind of turns to face him
and sees an immovable object. Hell yeah. And
that's going to be someone. Oh my god, what?
Didn't realize it was someone's turn. In a flash
of light, you see upon the bookshelf that you
are just sort of peering at Blanche, sort of
the northern end of the bookshelf, just standing
about 15 feet high, a black armored figure just
appears. You see Ozen's armor, another AG -6,
which looks down to all of you. And casts a spell.
Oh, I've been waiting for this. This is going
to be so awesome. Let me double check this one.
Oh, yeah, baby. Shit. Do I really want to do
this? You doing something? You got something
you're going to do? I don't know. I don't want
to. I don't want to. Speak in half or hold your
peace. What's your plan? No, it's fine. I don't
think I'm going to do it now. Okay. This creature
just appears and wordlessly, somatic gesture,
and it points forward right down towards you,
Blanche. And that's the last thing you see before
a fog cloud obscures the entire area around you.
And you remember this thing striking even after
the blinding light and realize the trap you've
stepped into. Oh, yeah. Everyone around these
creatures is now effectively blinded. Yep, definitely
should have used Counterspell then. Oh, that
would have been the time. But it's too late now.
But that's all I'm going to do. That's all I
can do this turn. So we're going to go on to
Dresden Kellig, who just so happened. Fuck. To
gained blindsight. Last episode. The one character.
Mr. One -Eye. The only eye here that can see.
Okay. So he will move out now. Hell yeah. You
just run out and you see again, full fog cloud.
Now that you're leaving the room, it's just like
everywhere. And you just charge into it. And
the second you step through it, you close your
eye. And you can see it all around you. I imagine
just like this vivid, almost like seeing white
lines on black, like charcoal sketches, you know,
moving slightly, painting all the characters.
Jaune just north of you, Akio just beside you,
Blanche beyond him, pinned against this bookshelf,
three massive scorpions. You can't see the figure
beyond them. Sweet, so... Who's between those
two scorpions? That's just a placeholder to have
the fall cloud effect, to be honest. Oh, okay,
okay, okay. I can't see the effect. I can just
see the... Oh, whoops. Okay. Let me get you guys
on that. Okay, there. Did you just say I can
see him or I can't see him? You can't. That figure's
not... He's behind... Okay. Oh, the figure that's
in here you cannot see. I believe your blind
sight has a range of 30 feet. Okay, cool. So
Dresden will manifest this echo behind the scorpion
nearest Blanche. Hell yeah. Is that enough for
flanking? Yes, the echo is targetable. It does
get flanking. It's going to appear right there.
Cool. He's going to go in. Stay on the shelf
there. Hell yeah, you go in and attack in the
sky. So flanking on the scorpion, the one that
just struck. You appear from whence it came next
to the bookshelf. I can open up more map. Go
ahead and strike. So that's a 22 and a 12. 22
hits, 12 misses. Fuck. Okay. That's with flanking?
14. Still misses. Fuck. I love that. 24 missed,
too? For 12. 12 damage. Yep. Hell yeah. You come
in, and again, just like the war pick, the perfect
one to break through this weird translucent light
blue chitin that you just crack as you break
through. But it still lives. That's your turn?
Yes. All right. That's Akio. And Akio is blinded.
Okay, so Akio can't see anything that's in front
of him? No. All right. He knows they were there.
The fog will happen after they appeared, so he
can roughly attack them. He would have disadvantage
in all attacks, though. Okay. We also established
that if creatures have keen smell, they can smell.
Right, yes, okay, yeah. So he definitely has
keen hearing and smell. He smells the fresh ichor
spilled by Dresden. Okay, so he's going to, he
knows where Blanche is. He can smell Blanche.
He's going to, hmm? Ew. Akio's going to step
up next to Blanche and attack the scorpion that's
in front of her. All right, give me that attack.
That same one that's already been struck once.
Does the flanking with the echo cancel out the
disadvantage? No, but it would give you a plus
two on the disadvantage. Okay. You can draw a
line through, so yeah. Okay. So 18 on the first.
And like a... 20 -something on the second. With
disadvantage? Holy shit. Yeah, dude, I rolled
an 18 and a 20 on the second. Those are two hits.
Yeah, excellent. Those are two hits. Oh, my God.
Let me grab my D8. And I'll grab this D8. Awful.
One and three on the D8s. So that's 14. 14. Still
up. Looking pretty damn bad. You just carve through
and... The huge gashes take from the face of
this thing. A bunch of its eyes ripped apart.
Good thing it has blind sight. Makes a scorpion
sound at you. That's the end of Akio's turn.
Okay, and that's Blanche. Ah, damn. 19 or 20
is important. Oh, wait, did you get a... No,
no, no, it was an 18. No, it was really close.
Okay, Blanche. Is... Yeah, I think she needs
to burn another blade song. She's going to enter
into blade song. And... Did I miss a blade song
previously? In one of the more recent episodes?
I don't think so. Have you used blade song yet
here? I had one checked off. I don't remember
you using it. It resets after a long rest, so...
If you didn't reset it or something. I feel like
you haven't used Bladesong. Okay. Well, if it
gets down to the nitty gritty, we can figure
it out. Yeah. Okay. So for now, all of us. Resources
are going to matter a lot. Yeah. That's for sure.
And the pants people tell us. I just thought
because I don't remember hearing it and then
putting in the Bladesong. Oh, sure. That's a
good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wonder if I just
missed it is the thing. If I was just going fast.
Right. And gosh. So I'm out of bonus actions,
unfortunately. So what she'll do is draw Paloma's
short sword and go for two swings against the...
Ooh, the Paloma's sword, hell yeah. Yeah, I think
it's the first time she's pulled it out. I think
so. And she'll join Akio in trying to take down
this scorpion. Okay, okay. So disadvantage, but
plus two. to the disadvantaged roll, right? Yeah.
So 17 for the first. Oh, yeah. And the second's
22. What are these rolls? Well, I just rolled
a 13, 14. Hot dog. Okay. Hey, they both hit.
Both hit. Okay, great. They both hit. It's like
almost the same damage roll. 15. 15 damage. You
can't even see what you're striking at. You just
know it was there. You could feel that barb so
close to you. The smoke fog just like fully encompasses
your vision. You feel action happening all around
you. You can feel a spurt of ichor or dresden
cuts, and you just drive forward, striking into
what you cannot see, and you feel your blade
cleaving through. Describe what you feel as you
kill this thing. Yeah, she hits the first time
and she can feel in that spot where two pieces
of its exoskeleton meet. So the second strike,
she hits the same spot, but harder at a different
angle. And she breaks through and cuts in between
two pieces of exoskeleton. Hell yeah. This thing
falls. And as it does so, others charge in. Akio
is standing the furthest to the north in this
room, slightly away from the rest. I'm going
to have these two kind of come up together, the
two remaining. You cannot see anything that happens
now. So let me tell you what you hear as I make.
Six attacks. Oh, no. Dude, Dresden is the only
one that can see this happening right now. All
of these attacks, by the way, have advantage.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? I guess
that'll maybe work. I'll be fair here. I'm going
to make a couple attacks on Jean because these
things don't know he's invincible. And he is
just as far north. He's just as far north. I'm
looking at it now. One of them can attack him.
So I'm going to make this first attack is on
Jaune. Okay. That is going to be a 19 to hit.
No. Okay. Now with shell defense. Bounce off
the shell. The claw is going at him. But hang
on. That's going to be an 18 to hit. Nope. Okay.
This thing tries twice to get Jaune. Now it knows
it can't get to him. Its stinger whirls around
towards Akio. That is a 22 to hit. 22 hits. Go
ahead and make for me a constitution saving throw.
Oh, no. It's a six. Okay. Akito takes six piercing
damage as this drives into him, as well as...
24 poison damage. You suck. How big are these
squares? 10 feet. So I'm 10 foot from Akio? You
are 10 feet from Akio. God damn it. And now the
second one's going to make some attacks on Akio.
Hold on, Hellish Reboot. Oh, oh, Hellish Reboot,
okay. So I need a dex save. Dex save, all right.
That is a two on the die. Nice, okay. So you'll
probably be taking 2d10 fire damage then. Oh,
the poison rips. You just hear the sound of Akio
crying out, and you just kind of hear this roaring.
Bark, flames sizzling. 12. 12, not bad. Hell
yeah. Now I get to kill him. 20 to hit in the
claw. Jesus. And another hit in the claw. At
least I get a crit on that. Jesus. I got a crit
on that. Oh, my God. Okay, let's do some math
here. So Akio takes six points of damage from
one claw followed by... It's low damage on the
claws. Eight points of damage from the crit.
So just kind of grabbed, grabbed. Just two legs
are grabbed and sort of yanked out from under
him. And he's sort of held, grappled, blinded
as a stinger rises up again. Oh, shit. Okay.
You can do two a day. Oh, my God. No, he needs
another reaction. That's right. All right. He
wants to. Next round. Smoke spewing from his
mouth. Yeah, I got excited. And it comes down.
And that's going to hit. Give me that con save.
Told you she was going to heat up, didn't I?
Didn't I tell you? Oh, baby. Ten. Dude, I really
wish I hadn't put Jaune in shell defense because
I could do Noble Sacrifice. That is 19 points
of poison damage. Plus five points of piercing
damage. Okay, still up, but not by much. Just
a huge jab right in his back as he's being held
fast, swarmed by these creatures. That's their
turn. That's going to be Jean. He's going to
bonus action, get out of his shell. He just pops
out. He took a couple hits there. I thought he
didn't take those hits. That might have taken
Akio out. Yeah, absolutely. But he's proven himself
to be too hard to hit, and so he has to get aggressive.
Okay. He will go in with his Kingspear. Just
flies in. I love the idea of Jean just gets super
defensive. Get away from my friend! Sliding towards
them, Akio's pained cries driving him forward.
Do you want to flank with Akio? Yes. Slides around.
This thing's holding Akio. It's distracted. He
slides to the back of this thing and goes to
strike. 14. With flanking? With flanking. That's
a miss. It's so hard you can't see anything!
Same. Same. This is so, so bad. He just tries
to drive him, but he moves around this thing.
He went to his tail and swings it. He's just
kind of just going right over it, scratching
the shell, but not getting into any of the good
points. He's kind of bouncing off the kite, and
it's so hard. And then he would use the rest
of his movement to come back around down to...
Oh, hell yeah. Right here. So he tries to attack.
He moves around to Akio's side, sliding up to
where he knows he is, kind of moving around this
creature. I think it's like Spear resting on
top of it, using that to kind of gauge how to
move around it. He slides up next to Akio. Spear
whirls. We see our four heroes, Dresden, Jaune,
Akio, and Blanche, all standing by each other,
though they cannot know it. They cannot see it.
And above the smoke, AG6. The armor of Ozen begins
to cast another spell. Blanche, you have a choice
to make. You don't know if killing these things
kills the students themselves. You don't know
what happens when these armors are destroyed.
But you may have to kill, because this thing
is certainly about to try to kill you. And we'll
call it there.