Hey, Pants people, if you love the original music
we have in the podcast, you can find it all on
Spotify and I think Apple and like, you know,
the places you get music. Just search music from
the Fantasy Pants podcast. I bet if you just
search Fantasy Pants, it'll probably come up.
Check it out. In particular, luminescent luminary
for you folks today. You know who I'm talking
about, right? You know I'm talking about Sharique
Holmeson, the Black Lantern. Now, Sharique was
born in Zinda, a city of bright lights and careful
shadows. And the plates were influenced by it
more than truth. High folks were expected to
intimidate, not investigate. When Sharique proved
he'd been sued for breaking doors, he was assigned
to carry evidence instead. Ash, fibers, fractured
seals, and overlooked details filled his dales.
Sharique noticed everything. As the investigation
ended, Sharique uncovered a corruption ring tied
to powerful families and city officials. The
facts were complete. The conclusions were undeniable.
The case was declared closed before it was ever
opened. Sharique was dismissed quietly, advised
to forget what he had learned. He declined. Instead,
he decided to ascend beyond the law of his homeworld
and become a luminary of the Radiant Citadel.
When asked why he pledged himself to the Citadel,
he simply stated that knowledge survives there
and secrets do not. Now, we don't know the details
of those sensitive cases, but we do know that
Shurik has worked closely with the speakers of
the Ancestors, building case to case against
some powerful, powerful folks. They say he's
even partnered up with Sturge Man from time to
time, combining the words of the two most brilliant
deductive minds in the world. Now, you may see
him moving about from time to time. He's a tough
one to miss. Tall and broad -shouldered, moving
about in a manner of unnerving calm. The smell
of lantern oil ever following in his wake. Speaking
of which, Shriek is known to carry a hooded lantern
blackened by years of use, as well as a short
blade and a sap. He thinks there's restraint
over force and certainty over speed. His true
weapon is his observational abilities, though.
He believes darkness persists only when ignored.
The lantern is, of course, his namesake. I can
see now that we can't call him the Black Lantern
because his light did not comfort. It revealed.
When asked why he carries lantern in places already
lit, his simple reply is, light is the machine.
It's for making sure nothing has a place to hide.
Thank you, Horace! Oh, hell yeah. Mr. Scaly Iguana.
Nice. I was actually struggling to come up with
an opener for today. Like... Two hours ago, I
still hadn't thought of anything. I was kind
of stood right here staring at it. And then Horace
hit me right in the nick of time with this one.
Really? I actually took a lot of that word for
word. Wow. Yeah, hell yeah. Nice job, Horace.
The Black Lantern. Yeah, that was great. Yeah,
super cool, super cool. And so, so timely. Thank
you again. Thank you, Horace. Gotta love building
out this cast of luminaries. You know, more detectives
in our setting, more big heroes. God knows we
need them. Seriously. Seriously, a lot of bad
stuff going down. A lot of happening right in
front of you two right now. I gotta say, last
episode, I was so stoked at the pacing. I knew
this sort of mystery was gonna sort of unveil
itself over time as you went in, but it's all,
it's weird. The entire arc is made out in this
map. The notes are all right there. Everything
is preset, you know, as it should be. You chose
this one entrance. I didn't think you'd choose
this entrance, but you chose this perfect entrance
to have like the best pacing. You find the arm
and then you learn from that and you find the
chalkboard more centrally located in the school
and you learn kind of a big piece of the puzzle
from that. You find the body and then you find
yourselves in your first encounter on the inside
of Anissa Academy. I mean, oh, I'm so pumped.
I'm a little nervous for this one, but I don't
know. I might have a cool plan. All right. All
right. I'm excited to see. TBD. uh before we
get into this combat i want to bring up a little
thing to you guys here something i've been kind
of mulling over and i think it could be fun i
think you might have resistance to it now but
if i put it out there maybe it's a tool you will
utilize i don't know if you're following up on
on the new stuff going on with uh critical role
all that good stuff brendan's now running the
show i know i know that much for anyone that
lives under a rock brandley mulligan the the
big dm i don't i don't listen though who uh check
him out if you haven't he's amazing but he has
this rule that i kind of want to do a fancy pants
version of because i heard it and i uh the blood
rushed it was crazy i got so excited uh uh so
what he has the rule is essentially uh you can
spend death failures so when you die you already
have a preset failure in the bag that you do
not get back until you long rest. I think that's
how it works. And for him, he has a number of
mechanics you can gain by spending these. For
me, we have a simple mechanic already built into
our little show. A mechanic called buttons. My,
what I want to put out there in the world, you
can choose, take this option if you want. You
don't have to. You can spend a death failure
to gain. A button. Dude, this is going to do
this any time. This is going to throw the button
economy into even further in the shitter. This
is like a loan shark coming to you being like,
I know you can't pre -qualify for this loan,
but if you want to take a piece of your life
force. Dude, you poor bastards need what you
can get. The button economy has never been stable.
Right. Ever. Ever. Because he just keeps throwing
shit in it. This is awesome. This is awesome.
I think it could be awesome. You guys have an
opportunity. I mean, it's a scary cost. One button?
Hey, what are the chances that one little death
fail is going to cause you to meet your makers?
Two buttons, though? If I'm going to do a really
big bad thing and you need to make sure I fail
that big save or whatever attack I'm going to
make? Maybe you'll spend those two buttons. Maybe
you're going to feel safer than a counter and
you'll do it. Maybe I'll throw a lefty punch
at you. Wham, wham. Who knows? All I know is
I'm so pumped. Yeah, now David has zero incentive
to hand out buttons because we can just take
out buttons with collateral. I'll give you buttons.
You know what? I'll give you a button right now.
Jeremy, what was that line you said last time
that was cool when I was begging for one? Something
about showtime. It was cool. I don't know. You
remember the line? I like the line. Take a button
for that line. Here you go. See? I'm a nice guy.
Yeah, now everything's safe. Everything's safe
and fine now. You know what I'm just going to
do? You're going to kill your character. You
know what I'm just going to do? I'm going to
give up a save for a button, and I'm just going
to use the button for advantage on the next one.
You can do that. Pointless. Loophole. No, it's
pointless. It's completely pointless. If you
go down again, that save is still gone. Let's
be frank here. These saves, this fail is gone
until you come back. It just means you have an
easier chance of dying than reviving. If you
spend all three, now three buttons is a bartering
tool. It's already a set, you know, get up on
that 20. We've used it like that before. But
you can do a lot of stuff with three buttons.
You can ask. You want to spell a slot back? I
might just say yes. I don't care what level.
You want some big things to happen? Give me three
buttons. You want three buttons? Take three death
fails. And if you hit zero... permanent death
so so then like you said you said it really fuck
that yeah no you said it reset you said it resets
on a long rest though so like what's to stop
us from being like okay i know we're about to
rest i'm gonna take three buttons and do something
silly hang on let me just did i just break it
you may have broken it fuck i'll think of something
okay fuck that's so it's dumb that's so dumb
but you're right I mean, I guess what could happen
is one button could reset per long rest, but
then I don't even know if we're going to have
three long rests in the rest of this campaign.
Honestly, maybe that's a good one. One button
per long rest. I don't hate that. You might get
more long rests. You'll get long rests. I like
that because you can be cheesy, but what if I
wake you up after the long rest and you don't
get it back? That could happen. All right. I
feel like I just broke and fixed your system
at the same time. I'm going to break the door
down and just SWAT team you. I've done it before.
Okay? That is not an alien occurrence. I have
done it once before in this show. So, don't get
snarky with me, young man. Not sold yet. You
got some more work to do, bucko. Comb your fucking
hair. Oh, gosh. All right. With that all said
and out there, and probably canonized and in
the game now, I don't know. We'll make it up
as we go, as we always do. Because it's fun.
Let's get zany up in here. Let's make you burn
some. David, you are not plugged in. I should
plug my... Hang on. That's not me. That's all
you. Ooh, I still had it on mute, too. Oh, my
God. That would have been embarrassing. That
saved you. That would have been embarrassing.
That saved you. Oh, man. Okay. Couple of fucking
idiots up in here. All right, ready for this?
Here it comes. You are interlopers in a killing
game. Five young geniuses ensnared in shells
of magic metal and set to kill one another. Anissa
Academy, their battleground. One has already
fallen, and you have come upon their empty shell.
And very near to this, another has just sprung
a very carefully concocted trap. You are in the
Bardic Arts Department, the... band room, let's
say, of the academy. A solid metal cage had been
moved into the center of the western wall of
this room. Inside of it, a waiting AG -6. Turbo
has seen this looking down through the air holes
carved into the top of this cage, and he was
seen in return. A flash of fingers, a somatic
gesture, and a number of instruments are now
on the attack. A great gilded piano, two weighty
tubas, and two koras, their stringed necks pointed
towards you like spears. You are deafened as
this room screams with discordant battle cries
of these sudden foes. Inside the cage, a villain
forged into a mockery of Oshin Yoshikatsu of
the storm eye, black steel fingers working, spurring
on the violent cacophony. More water. I'm a line
conductor, orchestrating your requiem. Nailed
it. That completes my readied action as you enter
this room, as I become aware of you. So let's
roll for initiative. Unfortunately, the objects
go on their own turns following mine, so they
will not be able to strike, you know. on this
first sort of opening. I was kind of hoping for
it last turn and I'm kind of sad because I wanted
to hit you with a million guys at once. I'm turning
my button. Oh. Oh. You know, we had a little
talk about this. Initiative is going to be big.
That is not a bad idea. When I go, all of me
go. Yeah. I have a cool move and I just, I need
to go before you. Okay. I got essentially a free
button. Okay. I mean, up to you, man. No, it's
a good use of it, I think. Are you doing it too?
I'm getting right back at you. Shit, bro. Are
you both rolling advantage initiative? Yes. Holy
crap. Yes. I mean, you teed us up for it. I'm
going to roll Blanche's first. Wow, that fucking
sucks. Oh, no, not good? I mean, it's not great.
It's probably a little bit better than middling,
but... Keo definitely goes before Blanche does.
So, what do we got out there? 15 for Blanche,
22 for Keo. 22 for Keo, 15 for Blanche. 18 for
Dresden. 18 for Dresdy, Wessy, Bessy. And John
Franklin doesn't have a modifier for initiative,
right? No, he's a slow guy. Alright, so he is
15. 15 for Johnny Boy. I needed to roll better!
That is so very tragic. The instruments come
to life. I don't know what these sounds are making,
but they're coming at you, charging before they
can do anything. Akio. snaps to action. The sound,
boom, blasting his poor doggy ears. What's he
doing as he slides into this thing? Akio's going
to jump into the room in the bottom left -hand
corner. He's going to attack this whatever. String
does what it says. The Korra. You see one Korra
just rises up. Oh, yeah, right near the door.
One snaps awake and sort of turns towards you
again, spear tip, and Akio just comes flying
at it. Ichigenka, drawn in his maw. Two sword
attacks. Hell yeah. Oh, no. 14 and 16. Both hit.
Wow. Okay. Oh, wait. Okay. I'm sorry. Only 16
hits. I was looking for the wrong one. Okay.
yes 16 hits though that's okay let me find my
they are they're they're these ones are smaller
than the rest they're quite dexterous so as he
goes to hit it it kind of like weaves out of
the way uh but his sort of backslash takes it
cars right into the wood. Okay. And these, we
talked about this earlier in the Discord, these
now qualify as creatures, not objects anymore.
By rules as written, they should be considered
as creatures and constructs. Sweet. They would
not be objects. No, it's bad because Akio can
do max damage. Oh, no, no, no. But I think it
has to be unmoving to be an object. It's a whole
weird thing, but in the spell it says they become
creatures, which feels weird, right? Because,
like, this isn't a creature, but it is a creature,
I guess. Well, this creature takes 11 points
of slashing damage. Nice. Not bad. Nice. Rips
in, through strings, plucked, a huge carved sheath
of wood, sawdust, hits the wall. That's Akio's
turn? That's Akio's turn. Okay. That's going
to be Dresden. Okay. Dresden will... Manifest
his echo near that, right next to the piano there.
Oh, that's right. The echo. I got to put that
on the map. Uh -huh. Yeah. So that's the bonus
action. You see this huge, you know, Mario 64
piano gilded. The keys are like come at you like
teeth in a maw. It turns around to you. The top
wants to slam on you, but you just appear beside
it. What are you doing? He's just going in with
his war picks. Hell yeah. Two attacks. Two attacks.
Twelve? Twelve hits. What? Yep. Twelve, okay.
It's a piano. It's a big old piano. Alright,
twelve and twenty -five. I can probably hit that
thing. Twelve and twenty -five. Oh my gosh, twenty
-five misses. Alright, take some Warpick damage.
Let's do it. I love the image of Warpick coming
down and just like smashing keys. Yeah, keys
and splinters. It's like screaming in pain. This
is for only 12. Only 12 damage? Yeah. Two attacks?
Yeah. Holy moly. You should be leveled up or
something. I rolled a one and a four. Yeah, that's
rough, dude. Yeah. Well, be better. After that,
that's Dresden. Okay. Now. Hang on. What? Oh,
it's your turn now? Stop. What? Before we move
on. What? I'm actually going to use piercer.
I can reroll the damage. Oh, dude. Once per turn
when I hit a creature with an attack that deals
piercing damage, I can reroll one of the attack's
damage die. I must take the new roll. Great,
great. Hell yeah. Yeah, but with a one. Anything's
better. Yes. Anything's better. Reroll that one.
It's a one. Nuh -uh. Fuck. I knew it. I just,
in the back of my mind, I was like, what the
hell? That's stupid. It's the sound. You know,
it's just like, you're trying to go into this,
and like, I imagine it's just like crushing you.
Dresden's a man used to silence. This kind of
cacophony must be like, just brutally deafening.
I hate Mozart. Mozart, the famous palanoan. Yep.
Um, hell yeah. And with that. Fuck. We zoom over
to the cage in the center. No. We zoom to the
concert inside. That does nothing because it's
Blanche's turn. Oh, my God. Are you serious?
I got him. Are you serious? Yeah, you got me.
Oh, I think I'm going to do something really
cool. I didn't roll very good. Fuck, yeah. Oh,
this is awesome. I'm shaking. I didn't roll very
good. Are you going to do what you texted me
earlier? Yes. Yes, I am. You can't do this to
me. What is this? Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going
to cage. First, Blanche is going to... You're
back into that hole. Okay. I'm going to try.
No, no bat. All right. Blanche is going to...
Kill that bat. Blanche is going to click her
heels and activate her boots of speed. What?
Why? Stop it. I mean, really just for like extra.
Zoop. All right. So now she has a 60 foot movement
speed. It's 30 feet exactly to get to this corner
of the... You're at the corner of the cage. Where
Turbo is. Okay. So she's going to pick up Turbo
in her hand. And crush him. And she's going to
lean on the cage. She puts one hand on the cage.
And she says into it, you must be one of the
five. Don't waste your spell slots on us. We're
not part of the competition. And she activates
an object on top of the cage. And with Turbo
in her hand, turns around and uses the rest of
her speed to... What'd you do? Escape. What'd
you do? Blanche placed the immovable rod on top
of the cage. You... That's pretty gnarly. I might...
I might have... Okay. I suspected you might have
something weird to do, but... That's... I will
say this. That's really cool. And I want to give
you a button back. Hell yeah. That's really cool.
Hell yeah. That you... cruelly stole from Crispin's
corpse. And I got Turbo out of there. Actually,
Turbo gets its own initiative. I forgot about
that. Let me... I was gonna kill the shit out
of that bat. 10 for Turbo. Okay. I will try to
remember that. Turbo goes after Jaune. I just
want Turbo to get out of the room, so... Okay.
Speaking of go after Jaune, it's Jaune. So you
run in, place the rod. I think you just can't...
As, like, the metal sort of bends around it.
But, like, the movable rod is immovable. This
cage is not opening. That's pretty damn cool.
Hell yeah. And you fly out of the room, or back
to the front of the room. Jean. I've never been
a fan of the classics. I never saw the point.
He points to his spear tip. What? He looks at
you. new stand -up routine jean anyway yeah okay
he's going to go to the he's gonna follow dresden
to the piano okay and he's gonna go into the
king spear hell yeah how far can you get behind
it i don't think he can right no he can get next
to him you can't get flanking but he does fine
hell yeah i mean he can get close enough so yeah
Gold meets gold as the golden spear strikes the
piano. I forgot what hit last time, but I just
got a 12. I think 12 hits. 12 hits the piano.
You can burn a smite if you want. Does he generally
use two hands with this? He usually has a shield.
No, but his shield, he has the animated shield.
It hasn't been activated yet. You activate that,
but you can. If you activate the animated shield,
then he has two hands, which you can bonus action
do, I think, right? Okay. So he basically, he
goes in this room. If you want to do that, suddenly
his shield releases up from him. These are swirling
around him, like moving with his mind, essentially.
It's super cool. Okay, cool. Yeah, it's super
badass. So, yeah. It's then 1d8 plus 4. It was
bought by Blanche, so I assume it has the Golden
Bay banner engraved upon it or something. Hell
yeah. I love pulling this new shit. This is my
fourth d8 roll. It's another goddamn one. So
that's three ones that I've rolled on my d8 for
damage. That's so tough. What's that? It's 1d8
plus... Oh, so that's fucking five. Five, okay.
Oh, no, he has another attack, though. He does.
He does. Yeah, he's got two. Let's go. He's got
smites, too, but you did use them already. I
used three, right? Yeah, I used three. Yep. I'm
just going to keep going with this for now. Hell
yeah. Yeah, that's going to be a 24. 24 will
hit. Uh -huh. For 11. 11 damage. No, no, sorry.
Seven, sorry. Seven. Yeah. 11. Well, Piano, you're
off key. And that's going to be Turbo the Bat.
Okay. Wow, you rolled really bad. I rolled pretty
bad. All right. Turbo's just going to fly out
of the room. Okay. Turbo just leaves. You son
of a... I wanted to kill that bat. Yeah, I know.
I wanted Turbo to be terminated so badly. Oh,
my God. I can't stop. I'm sorry. All right. And
that is going to be my AG6. And she is going
to do... Let me think about this. This might
work. I can't do anything until this works, though.
So it did actually steal my turn, right? Yeah.
Okay. You don't see anything. She casts a spell.
Huh. I wonder... Damn. Okay. You emphasized she.
I did. And gave me a look. did. Could this be
Z? Who knows? Do we know if Z was in band? I
don't remember getting that information. I don't
think you know much about her from what you heard.
It's just the way that he said she and then he
looked up at me like, I like to be weird and
fun. Yeah, you do. Creepy. Alright, that is going
to be all of my objects now. Let's hit you guys
with some guys. First of all, These things are
under the basic command to just attack everyone.
So, let's start with the piano, who's going to
make a slam attack on Jean. Natural one. Hell
yeah. It just goes to move, and I think Jean
just got sort of pinned with the spear, and it's
sort of fighting against him, the two of you
kind of holding it back, and the piano kind of...
You hear like a galloping horse -like tune from
the keys. And that is that. Time for the tubas
to make their move. One of them is coming at
you, Blanche. I think the other one can just
reach you if I'm correct. Oh, yeah, yeah. Two
tubas on Blanche. Great, great, great, great.
Or I can go behind John. Hang on. Do you want
to get that switch to be flank -a -rooney? Tubas
are pretty smart, right? Yeah, and notoriously
intelligent. Notoriously tactical instruments.
We're going to go behind Jaune and get that sweet
flake. Oh, fuck. Oh, the other two was going
to go on the other side of the other thing that
is kind of near Blanche, and then we get flaking
on you, too. I don't care. So stupid. They're
working in tandem. They're a band. Yeah, yeah,
of course. You can't say this couldn't happen.
All right, tuba time. Natural 20 on Jaune. Dude,
no way. Oh, come on. Oh, baby. I was just about
to make a joke, but I don't want to make it now.
The battle of the bands. Okay, I said it. Let
me roll my sexy Andrew D6 here. Fuck. Yeah, that
is... Unfortunately, that's only going to be
12 points of bludgeoning damage on Joe Franklin.
That is not nothing. This tuba flies over and
just smashes into him. Other one going on Blanche.
Oh, wait, you didn't even roll to hit. Yeah,
it actually misses. Okay, great. I was thinking
flanking was advantage, and no, it's not. So,
yeah, six on the die. Misses you. So this tuba
comes at you, and even kind of between two things,
you just easily, I mean, you got haste on you
with your shoes. Not haste, you speed up with
your shoes. You kind of just easily, zoom, behind
it. Tuba flies over your head and cleaves a keo
in half. This is tough. All right now aside from
my last little guys here one's funny Akio and
the other one is pretty far away So I have to
make its way into the fray here Yeah, not quite
enough to reach Jean, but it's going to head
in the zone direction and get it's gonna double
move and get right on Okay Only one attack on
Akio here make it count buddy No. Three on the
die. Akio easily wheezes under it. And that is
all my guys. And that is top of the round with
Akio. Okay. Akio is going to stay focused on
this little stringed instrument. Going for more
Ichigenka attacks. Hell yeah. Oh, 18 and 19 on
the die. Nice. It's pretty slick. Let's see.
We need some good news, Steven. Ten on the first.
Seven on the second. Akio, I describe his kill.
Hell yeah. Nice. Gotta use his voice, though.
Akio! Oh no, is that what it sounds like? Cuts
straight through the fret and board thing and
the head of the whatever falls right off. I don't
know, instant terms. It falls apart. Ping! All
strings plucked. And it falls, not quite dead,
but certainly not alive. Ping! To the floor.
And then Akio is going to move into flanking
with Blanche against the tuba. Okay. Oh god,
makes me so happy! Oh god, flanking against the
tuba. Flanking against the tuba. I love D &D
so much. Dresden, that's you. So the Echo will
get into flanking position now. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. Yep. And he's going for his attacks. You'll
have to move a little bit into the room to be
within 30 feet, but that's pretty doable. Cool.
Attack number one is a 17. A 17 will hit. Four.
Fuck. Only eight. That was a two. Dude, you need
a new D8. What in the hell? Do you want my D8s?
What in the hell? I will say, they're light chip
hits, but you're spraying pieces of piano all
over the place. That's right. No, we have flanking,
so it's ten. No, it's to hit, not to damage.
Oh, fuck. Nice try. All right, hit number two.
Natural one. Oh, my God. Fuck me. Fuck me. Oh
my gosh. God damn it. That damn galloping tune.
A horse jumps out of the piano. Stand by. They
have a barn on campus. Oh. What? Yeah, okay,
cool. It's once per turn that I can reroll a
damage. Die. Oh, so you can reroll the two. Yeah,
I can reroll the two. Hell yeah, okay. Let's
give it a shot. Might as well. Two. That's so
funny. That's so funny. I'm swapping out that
d8. Yeah, for real. Let me find my other one
here. You can keep talking. I'm done. Blanche,
that's you then. Get over here. Blanche will
use her bonus action to now... Let me find it.
Activate blade song. Okay. So all the good stuff
happens. You guys are burning a lot in this fight.
I like it. Yeah, I think she kind of needs it.
And I think that's going to be it for burning.
I think we're going to go for two attacks on
the tuba with... See, that's the tricky part.
I think I'm just going to use Paloma's short
sword. Okay. Oh, Paloma Short. We even talked
about this, I don't think. That you had Paloma
before the unfortunate sort of arrest that she
suffered. You had her, you sent her your longsword,
your prior plus one Marfil longsword. It was
reforged in the same forge as it was made initially
into a plus one short sword. So it's still got
a great plus nine to hit. Damage is less than
Ichigenka, but most of the time Blanche will
be using Shadowblade. I don't know that it's
worth burning the spell slot for it right now.
So let's see. 17 and 11. 17 will hit, 11 will
miss. Okay, I figured as much. 10. 10 for the
short sword. Okay. resounding boom from inside
the tuna tuba. We're suddenly under the sea.
These things happen. And before she ends her
turn, she'll free action, say to the cage, we
don't want to fight you. We just want to talk.
Let's work this out. You don't have to die here.
And that's Jean. Okay, he's going to go in with...
His spear again. On that there panner? On the
panner. On the panner. So, yeah, first one's
going to hit with a 27. 27 will hit. Second one
probably won't hit with an 11. 11 will hit. Oh,
fuck. That piano's pretty hittable. Holy fuck.
It's a big, it's pretty tough. I had flanking
anyway, so it would have been a 13. Oh, sure.
Yeah. Cool. All right. New d8. Yay. Let's see
what happens. Actually, no, hold on. He's going
to use a smite point. Hell yeah. On this. Hell
yeah. You have, in that case, five left. Didn't
he have nine? Yep, he used three. I used three.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, math. Cool. So it's going to
be 2d8 plus four. Gnarly. All right. Ten. It's
getting better, his threes. That's better. They
were both threes. He's looking really, really
bad. He strikes, and again, just that light burst
through all the keys, all the fractures in the
wood. Zing! Fuck. Oh, wait, you have two. Oh,
sorry, because you had two attacks. I did the
two attacks, yeah. Okay, and you had one smite.
Oh, yeah, no, that was one smite, yeah, yeah.
So I have another attack. One more DA. Oh, baby.
I went back to the original D8. Because I was
like, it just needed the rest. That's going to
be a 6 plus 4, so that's another 10. Another
10. Describe Jean's kill, but use his voice.
Sir! What's this? And he jumps up on top of the
piano and takes his spear and rams it inside
the piano and then runs it along all the... Are
they strings? I don't know. Yeah, there's strings
in there. I don't know if they're strings or
cables or wires or strings. I don't know. Somebody
that knows a piano, correct me. He just takes
his spear and just takes it all along those and
they just snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap,
snap. And then he just jumps up in the air and
just like fucking suplexes. He does a wrestling
move. He turns to the camera and says, Ha! You
had piano chance. No, he didn't. Stop. No. No.
And the piano dies. One last... As it falls,
the legs cut the strings. Actually, there is
no sound. The strings are cut. It just... falls
sad and silently. Yeah, I just embarrassed myself
twice with suplex and strings. So two things
I apparently know nothing about. And somebody
out there is going to be like, what the fuck
is wrong with you? And then Jeremy's going to
cut in right here. No, no, I won't because you
just said that. I ruined it. Okay, good move
on Jean. Okay, piano's gone. And that's going
to be me. And I need something to happen this
turn or I'm going to be very sad. Very sad. Okay.
The thing doesn't happen. I like it when you
do. All you hear is like, like, ring, bam, bam.
Almost like a response to your words. The crate
is like shifting and moving, but it can't really,
it's like stuck against that rod. I can't get
out. Bam, bam. You see like, like dents in the
cage. This thing is strong, metal, punching metal,
joining the cacophony, but I cannot get out.
Actually, everyone's deafened, so Sean's been
saying all these one -liners and no one can hear
anything. It's so much more stupid. Okay, object's
time. Piano's gone. Two tubas are coming at...
Ooh, you know what? They're both pretty close
to Akio here. I'm going to have this one slide
up a little bit, not leaving Sean's range, and
they're both going to attack Akio with the flanking.
First misses. Second dude, a one and a two. Second
miss is two. Oh, wow. Akio just fully, like,
I think he just draws a sword in a circle. The
dude has come at him, and he just, like, bam,
bam, parries both of them. And they go kind of,
whoo, knocked back a short bit. This is so sad.
My last guy here is going to attack Jean with
a three. A one, two, and a three. Nothing happens
this turn. Top of the round. It's Akio. Dude,
fuck my dice. Is betraying me. He's at a high
level tonight. All right, I'm hoping that Akio
can finish off the tuba between himself and Blanche.
So I'm going to roll these one at a time, just
in case. You finish off that tuba. Oh, sweet.
Yeah, it's 18 to hit the tuba. Cannot believe.
10 on the tuba. 10 on the tuba. Still up? Still
up. Looking a little rough now. Okay. All right.
I think it's probably best to just go after that
one still. Sorry, Jean. We'll come for you later.
Ooh, 17 on the die, baby. So that's... Oh, my
God. 10 again. 10 again. Okay. Still up, but
looking real bad. Ah, the bastard. All right.
The bastard of the instrumentation. Yeah. That's
it for Kyo. You bastard! Hell yeah, and that
is going to be Dresden. Cool. Dresden is going
to move down here next to Jaune. I'm assuming
he can climb over the rubble. Yeah, he just climbs
over the piano pieces. Perfect, perfect. And
he's going to attack this thing. Okay. I mean,
his echo's still there, so it's technically his
echo. Side by side, the shadow and the turtle.
That's going to be a 19 for the first. 19 hits.
16 for the second. 16 also hits. Oh, yeah. Cracked
on a 7. Are you kidding me? Oh, no. Give me that
sweet, sweet 1. I'm going to re -roll the first
one. Okay. First one was a 2. Second one was
a 6. Damn it. That feat coming in. Yeah, for
real. Ooh. So that's 11 plus 12. What? Nice.
23. 23. Damn. This thing looks so bad in one...
Wait, you're talking about the little thing.
Yeah, next to it. Yeah, this thing looks so bad
in one hit. You literally cleave off the entire
spear point on it. Just... Strings cut, and you
just have this sort of bulbous bottom part still
floating there, looking real, real, real, real,
real sad. Okay, cool. That's it for now. That's
it for now. Okay. Hell yeah. In that case, Blanche,
that's you. All right. Blanche is going to try
to take out this tuba, hopefully. You take that
tuba out. I'm going to go one roll at a time.
Barry specifically chose this instrument because
it's the funniest sounding word. 17 for the first
hit. Two hit, not damage. Oh, baby. 11. Nice.
Describe your kill. Oh, yeah. That's great. The
bell of this tuba is all beaten and battered,
and Blanche just slices right through it vertically
and splits the bell sort of in two as it falls.
Good old Marfil Steel. Sorry, good old Freedom
Ironworks Steel. Paloma's master craftsmanship,
slicing through the brass like it's butter. Nice.
Then is there, there's not really a spot where
Blanche can flank with Jaune, is there? Oh, you
can right there. Okay, sweet. So for her second
attack, she'll flank on the other tuba. That's
a 24. That'll hit. So another Paloma's short
sword damage. Oh, my God. Max again, 11. Oh,
my God. Hell, yeah. Things looking bad. And she'll
say to the cage, still, bam, bam. This fight's
almost over. You're like any rusty blade found
in the bottom of a drawer with enough cleaning
and sharpening. You could be quite strong and
dangerous, but as you are now, you're more danger
to yourself than to those you're fighting against.
Stand down. There's a positive outcome for you
here. When you appeared to place that thing,
I imagined you were seen. Because of that, and
because of something you do not know. I'd like
you to roll persuasion with disadvantage here.
I'll give you this for free. You've had a few
turns now. You've been trying this. I want to
give you this free persuasion check. All right.
Plus zero to persuasion. Disadvantage. Because
something you don't know. Ten. The banging gets
louder. Okay. That is going to be Jean. Jean
is going to go after this little thing. Little
thing? Little Thing. Little Thing is barely,
barely a thing anymore. Yeah, he's gonna go in
with the Kingspear. It's a very little thing
now. Yeah. 10. 10 does not hit. Um, fuck. Second
attack. Natural fucking 20. You! It has 2 HP.
Don't even roll the damage. Describe the gnarliest
kill on a Korra. Jean just steps over to it.
Fuck you! And then just steps on it. Holy shit!
And squishes it. I don't know what a Korra is,
so I don't know if that actually works. That's
so funny. Alright, yeah, no, it works. Okay,
cool. He smashes it. It's gone. The thing is,
very dead, leaving old Lee. A single tuba. Okay,
I was going to say, I don't want to say this.
I don't want to jinx anything because David knows
what's happening, but this feels way too fucking
easy. Well, it's because the... Yeah. Everything
has gone against me. That's very true. In so
many ways. That's very true. Okay, continue.
That's my turn. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
on. I need this. Even if this works, though.
Let me... Is there anything else I can do here?
No. It has to be this. Because I literally can't
see him. It's cracked. I can't see anything outside.
So I can't do anything. Because all you see is
up. Right? Yeah. Finally. Fuck. Something happens.
And you don't see it. It might be too late. But
something happens. And that is going to be the
tuba. The last tuba. The last soldier standing
against an onslaught. I'm going to hit one of
you. I'm going to hit... It's stupid, but I'm
going to try to hit Blanche. Because this thing
just knows that Blanche is taking all these things
down. It's going to be a 16 to hit. No. It tries
to get you. You parry it. I can't always not
hit you. In the tuba. Very dejectedly kind of
looks down towards the floor. And that's going
to be Akio. Take a button. Take a button. That
cracked me up. Hell yeah. This is good shit.
All right. Oh, gosh. You know what? Take a button
for the Jean voice, too. I don't care. It's a
button party. All right. Burn a death save for
me. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Akio's going in with
Ichigenka twice. Oh, baby. Ooh. Does a 13 hit?
13 does hit. Okay, then both hit because the
other one was a 15. Hell yeah. So that's a D8
for Ichigenka. Nine and six. Nine and six. So
15. 15, still up, looking bad. Ding, dang, dong.
That's Dresden. Yeah, cool. Same thing. Echo's
going to flank him. Okay. Two shots. First one
is a 26. 26 will hit. All right, sorry. Flank
you, so 28. Thanks for that. Next one was a natural
one. Yeah, that doesn't work. Flanks up to three.
Yeah, got him. I crit. All right. Fucking Christ,
another one on my D8. You can reroll it. Fuck.
Oh, I can't. Getting some real mileage out of
that feet today. Eight. Hell yeah. So that's
fucking 14. I had 14 HP exactly. Wow. Describe
your kill. Wow. No, it's dead. I'm sick of this.
It's fucking dead. Fucking dead. Tuba falls.
Gone. God. Okay. All right. Hang on. Real Dresden
will move up more into the pack. Okay. Cool.
That's Blanche. Okay. I think Blanche is going
to look into the cage. You look into the cage
and see nothing. It's empty. Okay. Can I investigate
the room? Yeah. That'll be your action. You're
kind of looking around. Yeah. I'm not sure what
better to do. do is the trouble. I feel like
I'm going to waste it, but... 21. 21. You don't
see any indicator around you of where this figure
could have gone. The cage is very much, you can
look in there, it's very much solid. There's
no other way out. The instruments have all fallen.
Nothing is moving. Nothing else seems to be animated.
It seems like this trap perhaps has been dismantled.
Okay, so maybe they escaped rather than... Maybe.
Are we out of initiative? No. Fuck. So Blanche
will say to the room, We don't want to hurt you.
We're here to help you. I'm sorry for the way
you've been treated, but that's over now. I'm
here to help. Does Jean want to take a turn?
Don't look at me. I'm not Jean. Oh, right. Does
Jean want to take a turn? Turn my eyes to the...
Yeah, say something backing up Blanche. I mean,
he could take the dodge action, right? No, I
think, actually, yeah. He hears you speaking
out. Yeah. Listen to me. I saw what was on that
board. This, what Kato's doing is, it's wrong.
He's not a good mentor. Sir. Blanche, she can
forge you into something better, like she did
with me and the dog. Please, give her a chance.
That's my turn. One combatant left, one that
you cannot see, and I have to roll a very, very
important d8. Fuck. I've been rolling shit d8s
all night. I swear to God, if he gets a good
d8... I did get a good d8. The figure. does not
reappear. I don't know what happens now. So on
the fence. Party wants to tell you so badly what
actually was happening there, because it feels
like such a dropped thing to not know what was
going on this whole time. What was the prince's
name? Simbone. Simbone? Yes, Simbone. Can Dresden
say something? Sure. Say what you want, because
we are out of initiative. This combat is. Then
it might be just a Dresden realizes that it's
all lost and he might just give out one little
Simone is outside in hopes that maybe she's still
there. But it's probably for not. These words
ring out and suddenly you feel just how silent
this room has become. The instruments destroyed.
Your voices, your footsteps, your movements,
echoing strangely in a chamber built to have
good acoustics. You're just standing in silence,
hearing nothing, seeing nothing. So let me tell
you, the players, what you do not see. When my
blink spell... Finally activates over an 11,
which means when I finally was able to transport
to the ethereal plane, I could not see anything
around, which means the direction I would go
into is random, 10 foot in a random direction.
What you do not see is the wind picking up, the
swirling ethereal mist. against the sandy, gilded
walls of the outside of Anissa Academy, as Ozen
Yoshikatsu, or a being that looks just like him,
suddenly appears outside the school, and we hear
guards begin to scream. And we'll call it there.