Welcome to the Arcane Amphitheater, a Dungeons
& Dragons actual play centered around a cast
of morally ambiguous re -deviants. Join us as
our cast attempts to atone for the sins of their
past in this roleplay -heavy, character -driven
story. He's a really good friend. Are you all
really good friends? Our troupe is sure to bring
you laughter. I am in the position of magic -enhancing
drugs. Tears. The pain that I've endured. It
can't be for nothing, right? Hope. I did the
unthinkable, and you better believe I will do
the impossible. But most importantly, characters
worth rooting for. I summon a visage of a person
that I wish I could have become, but never could.
Don't miss out when the curtain rises at Arcane
Amphitheater, available anywhere you get your
podcasts, with new episodes dropping every Wednesday.
We hope to see you there. Gang ho. Storage Hall
Rune is... not here. Huh. I wonder why not. Well,
I suppose if we aren't going to hear from our
old buddy Rune, then we should probably check
up on him. And so we open on the opulent hallways
of the fourth floor of the House of Convalescence.
We see white tile, white walls, splashes of gold
and trim and decor, wildflowers from various
worlds, decorate hanging vases. All in all, we
take in a sight far closer to a palace than a
hospital. And we see Rune Rusong in a mint green
suit. It's awful. Surrounded by diva guards.
They move in unison around him, their marching
steps echoing down the hall. They reach a door,
magically reinforced wood with a gold nameplate
bearing the gnome's own name. We see Rune stealth
steps forward, placing his hand upon an arcane
symbol on the wall at Rune height. He speaks
a command, an audible click sounds from the doorknob.
He turns and looks up to the foremost of his
guard. After you. Just try to be quick about
it. I've got another recording in two hours,
and I need to do some digging into my files before
then. All right? With a silent nod, the angel
opens the door and moves inside, and we see Rune
watching and waiting, his usual sly smirk plastered
passively on his face. Up until he hears the
angel shout in alarm. And Rune's smile drops
as his eyes go wide as a few small figures come
bounding out of the open doorway, screeching.
He stares slack -jawed at the strange cat -rat
creatures with bony frames and razor teeth, all
fucked up looking. One of them spins its head
around and lets out a yelp of laughter towards
Rune. As the group scrambles away, we see the
D .Va guard burst out of the doorway behind them
and leads half of its security team in. And at
this, Rune finally snaps into focus. He calls
for the guards as they fly down the hall. Catch
the pests! Quick! Those are Gromishkas! Don't
let them hear anything magical! They are allergic
to magic! It might explode if... If... He trails
off and slowly turns his eyes towards the open
door. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
And Rune charges through the door, leaping out
of the protection of his very, very alarmed remaining
guards. He dives into his office, eyes wild,
taking in an absolute disaster. What had been
an office to match or even surpass the sheer
opulence of the hall outside has now been turned
into a torn ruin. Papers are scattered all around,
many chewed into wet pulp. His fine shag carpets
have been ripped into piles of stuffing. His
desk of fine mahogany reveals more scratched
surface than smooth. A portrait of Rune himself
lies just beside it, a yellowish liquid staining
the canvas and floor around. Rune takes this
all in, but seems to barely notice. He turns
instead to the far left wall, to an alcove cut
into it. An alcove that shouldn't be visible.
The etchings of illusory magic marking the wall
are laid bare, revealing marks of damage, recent
damage. The contents of the alcove, a variable
library of blackmail and secrets, some of which
belong to Rune himself, have been viciously destroyed.
A number of recording contents spilled into the
floor, and we see Rune slowly reach down for
one of the diamonds. He lifts to his eyes, wills
it to reveal its secrets, and sees no images.
Erased. All of it. He looks at the shelves and
the wet pulp that remains of the folders and
files. All of it. And he just stares at the wreckage.
Stares and stares and slowly his eyes move upwards
to a tiny vent near the ceiling, the cover hanging
open. And Runru Song screams his rage. We follow
that scream through the vent shaft and through
a network of shafts. It echoes all around and
finally it breaks free of this imprisonment outside.
And here it echoes around a singular gromishka
hanging on the wall outside of an external vent.
One ordered to return the way it came in. A gromishka
carrying a single diamond yet in its mouth. The
rat -cat creature scrambles up the exterior wall
of the House of Convalescence and into the presence
of a waiting figure on the roof. A halfling,
cloaked in black with a dark braid hanging down
her back. A blade of violet light swirls around
Luminary Shrike's fingers. The scream reaches
her ears very, very faintly, and she smiles.
And we follow the phantom with that scream even
further away, down the walls of the hospital
and into the surrounding streets, into an alley
on the street. Here we see a copper -skinned
tiefling wearing a trench coat and full -brimmed
hat. Plumer needs steadfast bright orange mustache,
parts, and a grin as he stares up at the layers
of the house of convalescence and places his
hand on an opened crate covered in anti -magic
runes. From there, we fade to a new scene. A
scene of the interior of a giant jet black gemstone.
The Obsidian Conquer Jewel. We see an excited
crowd bunch up all through this gemstone as it
makes its descent into a new world. And we see
a gap in this crowd. Around the figures of Blanche
Trudeau, Jules LaRoche, and Akio the Akita. Two
luminaries and a sidekick. For now, at least.
It is... Interesting that you've not had your
passports and privileges removed yet. You had
expected what happened earlier this week, at
least. Perhaps something has happened that has
distracted the powers that be? And perhaps, Blanche,
the message you now hold in your hand could explain
that. You remember distinctly moving through
the crowds and the passage of respite and having
something pressed into your hand. You looked
around. You could not see the figure that gave
it to you. But as you found a subtle place to
look at the scroll as you unfurled it, you see
a very simple note. Keep your eyes on the network.
Justice undying. The Shrike. Oh. There will be
more fallout from what we saw at the start of
this episode, but the first boon is that travel
is going to be easy for now. Whatever this might
mean, this message you receive might mean, however
it may relate to your continued ability to move
between the worlds, who can say? What matters
most now is that this situation allows you a
chance to travel between the worlds right now,
today, for a mission of vital, vital import.
But before we get to all that, let's level up.
You want to level up? You want to level up? Mail
time. What? You received a level in the mail.
No. Trumpets, maybe. You do trumpets. Oh, hell
yeah. You got that letter for strike. That's
mail. Yeah. um let's talk level eight because
there's a lot going on you guys just amped up
in more ways than one because uh yeah i just
finally have money yeah you guys have money uh
i did not i will say pants you don't let them
have all their money yet they've uh i will say
they're see that money it's been a little bit
of time they probably see the money about two
weeks following genito and it's been maybe two
weeks since then and so i allowed them each The
possibility of up to two magic items per player
to be received by psychic player, whatever, at
this point. The rest can happen over time. Magic
items, you know, they're hard to get a hold of.
They take time to gather them. So you don't get
them all at once because I'm mean. And I gave
you 50 ,000 gold. For the first time ever. Get
on the ground and worship me. Worship my feet.
I was talking with David about this today. And
I was like, wait a minute. You've nerfed me as
a wizard so hard because I've never been able
to afford spells. Look. So now I can finally
buy spells. You can't complain anymore. You're
rich. Not for long. No, I spent most of it already.
So let's talk level ups. Let's talk magic items.
And before we get to anything, let me do a Keo
because he's definitely the most boring one here.
They powered up. A Keo. And also, those are the
characters. I know. Other sidekicks. We'll get
to them. We'll get to them. We'll get to them.
But right now, these three are the ones that
matter. Huh. Something's happening. It's weird.
I bought Jean a little something something. Oh,
yeah. He threw it away. That would be hard. It
was gaudy. You are a lot kinder than I would
be to Jean -Francois. Ola Keogh. I'm just kidding.
I love Jean. Really only actually got an ASI
this level up. And I actually gave the choice
to Steven because he was sitting right next to
me and I was doing this sheet like an hour ago.
keo the akita has a bonus to his con bringing
from 12 to 14 so he's beefed up a little bit
he's been uh taking some heavy hits and maybe
it's time to survive a little better poor doggo's
gone down a lot yeah plus with his hp from leveling
up he is now at 68 hp nice oh yeah yeah uh uh
tougher beefy little boofer beefy little boofer
pretty tough for a nine going on 10 years old
akita that's uh it's old boy teddy's 10 Whoa.
A little Aussie. Teddy's got a, what's his con?
Low. I'm going to guess a nine. Oh, no. Oof.
Negative on those. Yeah, he's got a minus one.
When he levels up, it's like, oof. Hell yeah.
Hell no. I don't know. That was Akio. Let's talk.
Who wants to go first? Who wants to go first?
Steven. I don't mind going first. Go first. Tell
me about Blanche. Do you want to level up? Do
you want to roll HP first and tell me about Blanche?
Oh, no. Let me tell you about what I did first.
I got a couple spells from the level up. So I
got a couple new spells. And then since I actually
had money and time, I got a boatload more spells.
Nice. My spell is actually looking like a spell
book rather than a spell pamphlet. Are you going
to tell us all these spells? Are you going to
hide them? Oh, God, no. I'll give you a couple.
Let me see. A couple. I'm actually really excited
about a level one spell that I took. Yeah? I
took Chromatic Orb. Okay. I mean, it can be upcast.
I just think Chromatic Orb is great. Get that
elemental coverage, bro. Yeah. I did a couple
other elemental things. I'll kind of leave it
at that. Let's see. I'll give you one more because
I wanted to get some bonus action stuff going.
So I got Minute Meteors. Whoa. Okay. That's a
fun one. So I can pop that and then I've got
bonus actions for a little while because I feel
like a big weakness of Blanche's was that she
had her blade song. That was a bonus action,
and that was pretty much it. Sounds like a wizard
to me. So I wanted to start to expand that action
economy and get some more bonus actions in there.
So I got a couple things with that in mind. That's
a smart choice right there. Then I maxed out
intelligence. So I did the ASI up to 20 intelligence,
which is great. So that's a... Higher to hit.
My spell saves are a little higher. And yeah,
that's cool stuff. Higher history checks. That's
an exciting part of the game. Yeah, for real.
A plus five to history. Holy shit. Yeah, right?
Do you want to talk about magic items? Let's
talk about magic items. What did you get? I'm
really excited about both of these. This is like
the biggest, most substantial power -up you've
probably ever gotten. I mean, Ichigenko was pretty
decent. Ichigenko was fantastic, yeah. Now I
have a plus two of a different kind. Oh? I got
the plus two one of the War Mage. Hell yeah.
So now with that... And max intelligence, that's...
And max intelligence, we're talking plus 10 to
hit on those spells. Those minute meteors are
going to look like our meteors, if you know what
I'm saying. Ha ha, ha ha. Because it couldn't
hit so hard. And then you want to talk about
bonus actions and action economy. I spent a pretty
penny on Boots of Speed. Okay. So Blanche is
going to be one fast little tortle. Okay. Buzzing
around the battlefield. Hell yeah. I mean, battlefield
control. That's Blanche's bread and butter. I
mean, getting anywhere, being everywhere, solid.
Yeah, so now it'll be a lot easier. Bonus action,
click the heels, and boom, speed is doubled.
Hard thing is, which one did you use first? You
go into a fight, do you boot to speed? Do you
blade song? What do you do? Yeah, it's got to
be blade song first. Blade song is kind of what
Blanche is built upon. And then after that, it's
like, okay, do I need mobility? Boot to speed.
Do I need more damage? minute meteors never gonna
hit you again no never gonna hit you again no
i don't think sucks this sucks so now hopefully
i can just get a couple hit points because blanche
i'm pretty sure we mess this up every time i'm
pretty sure blanche is sitting at 50 hp from
level seven okay so uh i hope you're right i'm
i also hope i'm right we should get that in the
wiki get that in the wiki um you want to roll
that hp yeah i'll roll my uh Oh, D6, yeah. My
D6 is a wizard. Damn. Foie. Hey, pretty good.
What are you looking at me for? You're not doing
the thing anymore? You think a 9th level, 8th
level, whatever the fuck you are, needs a double
advantage on HP? You're not doing the thing anymore?
Your training wheels are off. Oh my god. Time
for the big kids to ride their bike on their
own. No more handouts from the David. You got
your 50 ,000 gold. Lame. You got your little
time skip to get your spells. No more hand holding.
Now I'm going to get mean. Hand punching. That's
what I do. Jeremy, let's level you up. Yeah.
You want to start with HP? Just when we thought
David couldn't get any harsher. Well, where my
HP is at currently is tied to my magical item.
Yes, yes, we're going to get to that first. I've
only got one magical item so far that I've decided
on, and that is the Amulet of Health, because
I'm already attuned. to the Amulet of Minor Health.
So all it is is just a little swap. And guess
what? A little swap. That brings my con up to
19. Jesus. Which brings Jules' HP up. Wait for
it. Wait for it. Two. 70 fucking two. Yeah. That's
so crazy. Jules is now the frontliner. He's actually,
we're getting into end game and he's actually
a contender now. Does Jules just put this thing
on and just like, boom, full abs? He's yoked.
Yeah, he's got the full abs and then maybe his
thighs grow like. Oh, man. They triple in size.
The bigger the dance is now. There's just lots
of veins on his neck. Boom. Yep. Yep. He's full
on Jim, bro. All right. So, yeah, 72. Do we want
to roll? Let's roll. Well, you can roll. You
get one fucking roll. I'm rolling for Jeremy
still. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No
one gets help. You know, I was nice to you for
the last time with that 50 ,000 goal. That's
it. It's over. Yeah. The first man last time.
Making up for lost ground. Yeah. You got the
pants people on your side. You don't need me.
Six. Six. Damn it. You guys are rolling good.
78. 78. That's crazy. Suck it. So, David, how
do I do this without fucking everything up? Go
to override? Yes, over HP and just, it'll say
72, go to 78. Because we had to do some weird
stuff because I couldn't figure out what was
happening to the sheet. 78, baby. 78, that is
nuts. And then I do get an extra spell. Oh, yes.
Ooh, and another fourth level spell slot. And
you had your ASI feat level. What'd you go for?
Oh, fuck yeah. So I had the ASI. I put both into
charisma, so my charisma is now maxed out. Our
casters are max casted. So my save DC is 16.
And yes, I do get an extra spell and I got an
added fourth level spell slot. I haven't decided
on a spell yet. I'm leaning toward Dimension
Door because I think that's just cool as hell
for 50 % of us to have Dimension Door on top
of Misty Step. It tells a story too because you
saw Chester use that magic. Right, exactly. So
Chester. It's very fitting. I'm not set on it
yet. I'm going to take the week to look around
and figure it out. But that's a front runner.
Okay. I love it. I actually feel powerful now.
It's great. It's wonderful. Yeah. Wait until
David gets to bring out his enemies. I know.
One shot. One shot. 80 damage. There you go.
Yeah. Now, I think we can agree that a lot has
happened in these last few weeks in the Concord
worlds. You've watched as Atash's control has
become unstoppable. You have trained in secret,
learned new spells, gathered powerful items,
carefully preparing yourselves for what comes
next. A lot has happened, but for Blanche Trudeau,
I think what has not happened is a matter of
great concern as well. You see, since your rumble
with the snake eaters in Danatu, Blanche has
been receiving regular letters from M 'rath.
detailing his adventures and his hunt for other
snake eater poachers it was one of these very
letters that tipped you off to the ogre clan
of hell's killing and their hunting ritual and
more known as say it with me mountain mania mountain
mania mountain mania all right let's move on
we did it steven yeah yeah post No. Don't you
dare. The most recent letter you received informed
you of a breakthrough in Emon Rath's investigation
into the leader of the Snake Eater Posters, though.
He and Bink found another one of the group's
leaders on the subterranean world of Rotham,
a prolific dark elf hunter named Rhea Chelray.
I forgot I wrote that. That's so stupid. Oh,
my God. That's so stupid. Never mind. Let's move
on. Before Rhea Chelray died, she left Emon Rath
and Bink with a few parting words. The obsidian
world, the world of fire, Teletopec, the head
of the snake eaters, is one of that world's gods.
Go there and die. Become my final offering to
the ultimate predator. He said he was going there
to investigate, to see his quest finished, him
and Bing together. That was weeks ago. Now, he
usually sends a letter every two weeks, and he's
about two weeks late for his last one. And so,
you find yourself in this situation. You have
perhaps one last chance to leave the world without
some trouble, right? I mean, perhaps there's
ways to slow yourselves off following this removal
of your passports, but it's going to be hard.
Your movements are going to be so difficult,
and you'll have to move in such secret. But right
now, For whatever reason, you are free. And your
friend, Emon Rath, a fellow disciple of Ozen,
someone who's saved you jewels on multiple occasions,
come to your help when you needed it, may be
in a dire situation himself. The others of your
group, Gabriella, Sean, Arhalon, and Dresden,
all stayed behind to take care of things to Coyote.
wanting to make sure security is as beefed up
as possible. But old Akio was very, very interested
in meeting another one of Ozen's disciples and
gave you the old puppy dog eyes, big, beautiful
eyes, until you said, all right, come with me.
And that's where we find ourselves now. Before
this jewel lands, do you want to make any checks
about this world? Do you want to make any history
checks? Want to answer any questions? this would
be the time as your investigation into Emon Roth's
movements into this apparently villainous god
of this world. I'll be down for a history check.
Yeah, now that I got a beefed up history bonus.
Alright, okay. Roll some beef on history. Oh
no. If there's anything to roll a natural one
on. I'm glad it's just a check. Probably a water
world. All oceans and stuff. Is that Kevin Costner
over there? Come on, you got it. Somebody's got
to get that. I heard Jules in a bathing suit
with a rubber blown up duck. Water wings, like.
Blanche did a little bit better. She got an 11.
11. You know the basics. Actually, you know what?
I'll give you a little more than the basics because
of one interesting detail that you would have
come across in your reading. And I'm going to
give you on that level and give you that. You
know it's called the World of Fire because it
is a world dominated by volcanoes and volcanic
activity. A world where the constant eruptions
and ash fall and lava flow is kind of destroying
and recreating life, creating sort of a verdant,
you know, climate. amidst all the flame and smoke.
And I'll give you this. You were researching,
some time ago, before the events of the Shrine
of Storms, the history of Mazir Drakon throughout
the worlds. And so one thing you would have come
back on tidbit is that the capital city of Tlalepac,
known as... You know what? Hang on. Let me double
check this pronunciation. I'm pretty sure...
I know what it is. I just don't like it. It goes
against my tongue, but I actually did it this
time. I looked up pronunciations. I'm going to
do this right. Z -O -Z -O -T -L -A, Xochotl.
X -O -X -O -T -L -A? Fuck. I want to say Z, because
Xochotl is what rolled off my tongue, but it's
Xochotl. Xochotl is the capital city of Tlalepic.
It was founded when a person seen as a great
hero to the people of Tlalepic. But someone that
history remembers as a Mazir Drakan named Metzli
essentially came to this place in the center
of this sort of world map and asked the gods
to create a plane untouched by flame and quake,
a place of stability and peace where they could
build a city. And the gods answered. The mountains
moved, and a great vast plain now sits amidst
the mountains of Tletepec. This is where the
jewel will be landing. But that's all you know.
With an eleven, I think you're not sure what
that means. The gods of this world. Whatever
Emonrath is chasing, you have some work to do.
To find his trail. And that brings us back. to
the obsidian conquer jewel as you finally land
and as the door slides open the crowds begin
to move again very much avoiding you just the
dark stairs that look your way the scowls a heavy
heat falls over all of you the air feels thick
with moisture and Even now, just like flowing
in through that open door, a thin white haze
just lingers all around. Like the world itself
is a natural sauna. You know what this haze carries?
A faint, kind of unpleasant scent. Vaguely sulfuric.
I take it you leave the jewel. You don't just
wait around and go and take it home. You gonna
give up? You done? No, we'll walk off the jewel.
And you... Walk off the jewel, seeing that it
comes to rest on the edge of a great flat plain
just outside the capital city of Shoshotla. Streaks
of colors paint the exterior walls of these stone
-wrought homes ahead of you. Paved streets stretch
beneath them, shadowed beneath the branches of
vine -covered decorative trees and the vibrant
canvas -covered of shop stalls. You see a good
crowd of folks milling about. Most are humans
and dwarves with brown skin and dark hair, their
clothing well adorned with jewels and colorful
dyes. There are also a few tieflings mixed among
the crowd, with skin that holds a sheen, not
unlike the gemstones that tend to dominate the
combined cultures of the conquered worlds. You
can see beyond the city, too. You find, looking
out over everything, that the world of fire is
surprisingly verdant. The skyline of the city
is dominated by mountains, many of which release
constant plumes of steam from their apex. You
see thick forests covering the sides of these
mountains. That good, good green stuff we love
so much on this show. And as you're taking this
in, you hear a voice from behind. A figure also
stepping down the ramp of the Obsidian Conquer
Jewel, one that doesn't seem to be afraid to
stand by you. Beautiful, isn't it? We are so
very blessed to live on Mitsli's plane of peace.
Observers of nature's miracles, yet untouched
by the scorn of our gods. You turn to see, as
the book actually notes, an impossible figure
to ignore. A tiefling with skin of shining jade.
You see, their features are masculine. Their
clothes are more feminine design, flowing and
free. They move with a natural grace that feels
so familiar to you both. Much like Gabriello's
own movements. A trained dancer's movements.
This tiefling, very tall, moves up towards you.
I'm Olin. just a simple fire dancer that occasionally
demonstrates their art to the people of the Radiant
Citadel. And you, well, I know who you are. You
are, slight smile, unpopular to most people of
these worlds. But you've done me no personal
wrong. I do hope you intend no trouble here on
Tletepec. Many will find your appearance here
to be a poor omen. But tragedy comes in the wake
of Ozen's wave. Neath the brackened midnight
sky, run and hide, scream and die. Luminaries,
branch and jewels are nigh. It's become a pretty
popular poem. A little apologetic smile and shrug.
You have popular poems here on Talatapak, eh?
That one's been shared throughout the worlds.
You have a reputation. I do hope you try to destroy
our world. If you can help it, I am not one who
is eager for the ash rice. We are more concerned
with saving worlds than destroying them. And,
uh, to that end... We may be more aligned than
you think. You seem to be one who loves nature
very much. I enjoy beautiful things. Then you
must detest the ruining of those beautiful things.
Of course. Only a monster would not. We're here
hunting pouches, she whispers. Poachers on Teletopec.
Has there been no word, no discovery of unsavory
acts in the forests here? Ah, nothing I am aware
of. But I do know of an inn nearby that may make
for a font of information. The Jory Katinga,
they call it. If you keep to this road heading
south, five blocks down, you won't be able to
miss it. Well, Jules, would you care to get jolly?
Yeah, I could jolly it up. Will we see you again?
Perhaps. I travel to the Citadel often, and it
seems very soon you'll be locked in place. Come
and see my shows sometime. If you get bored of
your captivity. Ta -ta. And they very elegantly
stroll away from you. Well, Jules, I don't know
about captivity. I think that's maybe a little...
It's not the point. I'm trying to drink, dammit.
Let me have my beer. That's not the point. I
think we should... It's the only lead we've got.
I think we should continue to do this in. Also,
side note, did they just say ta -ta? Perhaps
a common expression here on Toledopec. Yeah,
so we go, ta -ta! Ta -ta! We'll have to learn
the local vernacular. Well, let's go. Ta -ta,
Jules. Ta -ta! You can't say that! We get to
move down the busy streets. And again, as you
move, it's like a crowd parts around you. People
whispering. You hear that word a few more times.
People just like talking, whispering about you.
You, I imagine, ignore them and push on. Yeah.
You know, Blanche is very interested to hear
about what they think is coming. what they think
we are the heralds of. You've been the heralds
of a lot of things. You keep moving until your
eyes fall on a large square structure ahead,
single -floor building. You see bands of yellow
and red paint, the exterior stones, and a bird
-shaped sign hanging above and between the two
entrances showing the Jolly Katinga, which is
a bird, by the way. It's a bird. Cool. Nice.
Because you want to know which Katinga was. It's
a bird. Birds love them. As you're moving up
to it, actually, you do notice someone kind of
passes by you, crossing the road, carrying a
crate of fresh red peppers around, sort of going
around towards where they head to the back of
the building. As this person passes you, they
just look so familiar to you, Jules. A young
man, very handsome, dimpled cheeks, dark stubble,
wavy black hair. He's wearing sort of white robes,
bands of color wrapping all around. And there's
something in his eyes, almost sad or tender,
as you see him raise a particularly impressive
pepper up for inspection and then place it back
in the crate. What's the crate say? Peppers.
Nondescript. It doesn't say peppers, peppers?
You know what? No, I think they're grown here.
These are grown on this one. I want to give it
to you, but these are grown by this person. But
you're looking at this person, Jules, and you
just know that you know him. But this is an interesting
one because this is such a... The kind of thing
that I don't know if Jules would actually remember.
You don't want to just give the information for
free, but I think this is the kind of thing that's
so obscure. Okay. I want you to roll to see if
you can immediately catch on to this. I'm going
to give you a chance to be rolling intelligence
or wisdom because I don't know which one's more
fitting for just a memory, right? It's like how
much did you perceive in the moment of that way
back when versus, you know, remembering and activating
your neurons and going back there. Like, do your
instincts tell you who this is? Does your mind,
like, do you search it and find it? Your choice.
I'm going to go intelligence because that's a
plus zero. Wisdom is... you said wisdom yeah
yeah negative two i forgot you're terribly unwise
right yeah well actually with my stats now it's
like uh plus zero for strength dex and intelligence
negative two for wisdom plus five charisma plus
four con just that's weird oh lopsided the weirdest
bar anyways intelligence uh 14. 14 14 is pretty
good okay i want to start what i want to do is
i want to give you like clues with the 14. okay
you can guess it and if i give you a few clues
and you guess it i'm going to give you a button
oh are you maxed out no i don't have any then
yeah that's your button right steven yeah i have
one i have jeremy has zero we've done a lot of
really cool lately you don't do this because
first clue you weren't there well that's not
a clue blanche wasn't there I think Steven maybe
has an idea, though. You see this person, and
you feel very sad for some reason, Jules. That's
the first thing, this impression, this feeling
of sorrow. Okay. And you feel like this is someone
you did not meet personally. You never saw them,
but you saw an image of them. You look at the
peppers, and you're almost there. Do you know
what, Steven? I think so. Do you think you know
it? I'm 90%. This is a long -ass callback. Okay.
Is this somebody from Sonsonko? Sort of. Sort
of. You saw that image on Sonsonko. Do you mind
if I go pee while you think of it? Yeah. Go pee.
That'll tell you. Okay, Steven peed all by himself.
Like a big boy. Like a big boy you are. And I
have no clue. You're going to say it and I'm
going to be like, oh, duh. I'll give Steven a
chance for this button then. If you can recall
who this person is. I don't remember the kid's
name. I'm going to guess it's the kid that Zebulon
saved from the fire. Nope. I asked him, is it
related to the fire? And he said loosely. That
was a dragonborn child. It was either that or
I was thinking about the people that were fighting
over the, was it the green beans? It's not them.
Well, because wasn't there a kid that was working
with Pepper to pick Pepper's Peppers? Oh, my
gosh. What's his name? Something Young Goon.
Oh, the kid was... So not that kid. Not that
kid. Okay. My other guess was... If this is a
man, it hasn't been that long enough for a kid
to grow up. Yeah. Oh, I guess then this is probably
wrong, too. My other guess was... Remember when...
uh when zebulon died one of the um hostages that
didn't live was the mother and she was like oh
my son my son that's a fun one uh but no okay
so i remember lots of kids but i will tell you
because i think a 14 is still good enough he
wasn't on like some banner at the games no damn
in subsunko you arrested the uh sort of criminal,
sort of mischief -maker -turned -murderer Kasim
Arun. When you fought Kasim Arun, his brother,
Vi Arun, died. And what caused Kasim to go down
this path was concern because his twin brother
was leaving. That's right, with, um, what's his
face? Oh, son of a bitch. Oh, God. What was his
name? Fuck. I don't think I said his name, actually.
I think you said his name. Did I say his name?
You might as well say it. I hope not, because
the name I have is Yowali Aka. No, you didn't
say it. You don't have that name. You didn't
say it, but I remember what you're talking about.
This is, Jules realizes, Vaya Runes' former fiancée.
Yeah. Oh, that's what you meant when you said
we've seen a picture. You saw a picture. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I remember the locket. He held that
picture when he died. It should have been worth
like a thousand buttons. We never would have
got it. Yeah. I would have got it. I don't understand.
Yeah, of course. Hey, write in, pants people.
Show us in the Discord if you got it. Yeah, uh
-huh. After the fact. I got the world and the
Ark, right? Should I get a button for that? No.
Anyway, this figure passes by you heading around
the building. I don't know if you have an interest
in talking to them or if you want to just go
inside. No, I think... It's one of those things
where as he passes, Jules kind of does a double
take and is not quite sure, and then it kind
of hits him, but it's just a little too late,
and it would be a little too awkward to stop
him. You see him around the corner. And he wouldn't
even know what to say. Yeah. What do you say
to him? Yeah, it's... What kind of feelings?
You know, you were there, but you caught the
brother, didn't save the other. You guys going
in? Guys going into the building? No, we're just
going to loiter out front. Well, Blanche isn't
hesitating because Blanche didn't just see somebody
from her past. You're inside. Boom. You push
the guy over. After the way. Peppers go everywhere.
Move it, nerd. And so you push into the Jolly
Cotinga. You step inside and see a, I guess.
probably somewhat rowdy establishment kind of
earlier in the day but i think what you notice
immediately is there's a lot of off -worlders
in here it seems to be more of an off -worlder
catering uh in slash pub which is why you were
probably sent here if you're looking for poachers
um just peoples of all sorts you see dragonborns
you see you know gnomes you see halflings humans
all around various clothing skin tones uh this
is kind of a melting pot sort of city haha or
the fire joke and so you are sort of pushing
through all this push past these tables you notice
immediately the air is like heavy with spice.
And you kind of look at these tables, you see
like a lot of peppers everywhere. A lot of the
food is heavily peppered. I think you catch one
person just like falls over off his chair, almost
like choking. You see a black pepper bearing
a image of a skull on his table. Jules has full
war flashbacks. And you're just like smelling
a lot of this like pepper and a lot of the scent
of, do you pronounce it cacao? c -a -c -a -o
and it's more raw form yeah i think so okay yeah
a lot of those cacao um some people are enjoying
like these sort of looks like these strange almost
dried fruit uh cover coated candies uh that also
seem to have some form of peppers on them people
are eating those and their faces grow hot you
could tell this is spicy is the way of life here
um you're pushing past you do see a figure sitting
at the bar i think Standing kind of on a raised,
almost like bench behind the bar is a dwarf.
Sort of a couple feathered earrings in his hair.
He has a thick, thick, very curly black beard.
You know, brown skin. A lot of purple and red
sort of mingling in his outfit. And he's very
happily sort of sliding drinks down the bar to
other patrons. But there's a spot open on the
edge of the bar if you guys want to head over
and hit it up. Yeah, Blanche will walk over,
pull one stool out for Jules, and she'll sit
in the other. Figure steps up to you. Hello there.
What can I get you? I'll have what he's having.
What are you having? It's the fantasy version
of whiskey. Fantasy whiskey. I'll have a fantasy.
Coming right up. What do they call whiskey here
on Toledopec? Fuck. Uh, uh, hang on. They even
have whiskey? It's awful. No, you're not. I'll
make it easy. I'll have a boybin. After looking
around, there better not be any capsaicin in
that whiskey. Uh, uh, uh, I can't find anything.
So we're going to say they have whiskey because
it's an off -world bar and they got lots of stuff.
So he kind of turns around. He sighs. That's
kind of sad. Um, all right. I think we'll go
with it. Got some spicy candies that'll clear
you out. I got some of them, some Sunco skull
peppers. If you want to try one of those things.
I mean, I got dishes you wouldn't believe. Had
mole sauce. It's to die for. Splatter on everything.
I don't care. Ice cream, mole sauce. I have a
little bit of a lower constitution when it comes
to spice. Thank you all the same. How about you?
Your constitution looks ridiculously high now.
Look at those pecs! I've had my fill of spice.
I've had my fill of spice. I'm good. I'm good.
You could wrestle that black pepper now. Just
the whiskey, please. Slides over a couple of
whiskeys. Kind of turns like he's going to walk
away. You guys want to ask anything? Or you want
to just drink and get drunk and hang out? As
Blanche makes eye contact with the bartender,
she'll ask. Sort of in hushed tones. Do you...
I realize how this sounds. Yeah. Know who we
are? Seen you before. And I'm guessing there's
a reason why. Everyone near you just moved away.
You're a chair. It's great. Yep. But you're paying.
Look, if I wanted to throw you out of here, it's
a fight I'd lose. You're luminaries. Your money's
good, so... We've... had this sort of welcome
before on other worlds that we have saved. We're
here to save Teledipac. Would you help us? What
is your name? Tonali. Tonali. Would you like
to help us save Teledipac? Look, if you want
information, I can give it to you. You want me
to fight? No. You can leave the fighting to us.
We are looking for, hoping for, at least a lead.
I'll give you a lead. Look, let me be straight
with you. The faster you get out of this bar,
the faster I can fill up the tables that are
all vacated all around you. So, yeah, I'll help.
Cut to the chase then. Poachers. Poachers. Do
you know of any here on Toledopec scourging the
land? I'd like you to roll. Die for me. I want
to do a full -on luck die here. D100. Oh, D100.
Here, put it through my tower. It won't fit.
There's a 50 -50 chance he will have this be
a lead you can follow. If not, you may need to
find a different path to this goal. Okay, 0 -50
is good for me. 51 -100 is bad for me. Sure.
Okay. 50 -fucking -6. Thanks for the moment.
Yeah, I saw that. How about any... I saw that
guy there, you know, the one that you killed
with the spike ant, you know? He was a poacher,
but... Did you see him with anybody? No, no.
What about any outdoorsy types? Any hunters,
backwoods, hobos? Not hobos, what's the word?
That was a friend of yours, Luminary Emonrath.
He was here some time ago, too. I don't know
why I didn't just jump straight to that. But,
again, I don't know where he went. He's off kind
of private, you know? Who would know? I don't
know who would know. You dead -ended on this
one. Yeah. But perhaps there are other avenues
to ask. Evanrath did give you some information
in that letter. Can you remind me what the letter
said, specifically? I can. I will tell you. Uh,
the final words of... Rey Achelrey. The obsidian
world, the world of fire, Tledepec. The head
of the snake is one of that world's gods. Go
there and die. Become my final offering to the
ultimate predator. Can you tell me of the gods
here on Tledepec? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm sure
you've seen them. They're all around us. The
points. a window behind you, somewhat raised,
and you look out and you see a distant mountaintop
with a smoking plume. Volcanoes. Old lore states
they were once the heroes of our people, who
transformed themselves to keep vigil over our
world. So, uh, a lot of folks here worship them
like gods. Leave them offerings. You know, hope
they take care of us and don't, uh, you know.
Until you have an even more interesting question.
How can the head of the snake eaters be a volcano?
Be a volcano, yeah. We've got volcano, something
about predators, gods, sacrifices, or offerings
anyway. Blanche will ask, what sort of offerings
are made? Could be anything, really. Anything
unsavory? There are types that would, I'm sure,
but typically we just give what we can. It matters
more how much the offering means to you when
you give it, right? So rich man gives gold doesn't
mean much. Rich man gives a lot of gold, maybe.
A lot of people will give food. Hunters will
give game, things like that. I mean, food seems
to be a popular one, which is odd, but it kind
of harkens back to an old myth. What's the myth?
Does it have something to do with ash fall? Not
much with that. Have you heard of telethilatels?
It's an old word, our word. I can promise you
I have not. Some people believe that the volcanoes
themselves, the gods, held spirits. Fire elementals
that would dwell within their calderas. Like
I said. Old stories, no one's ever seen one of
the things, but not that I'm aware of, not that
anyone's said, but yeah, elementals. Supposed
to look like big -furred lizards or something.
Guess they sleep basically all the time, hundreds
of years. Supposed to be smart, though, at least
enough to carry stories and lessons from forgotten
times. My mom used to tell me all about them,
but that's what people do with food, anyway,
in case the, you know, the big lizards get hungry.
Blanche will knock back the rest of her whiskey.
Careful. So will you tell me about Ashfall over
another one, or should we move on? Ash. The Ashrise,
you're thinking of. Ashrise, Ashfall. I guess
it comes full circle, doesn't it? Ain't a fun
one to talk about on drinks. Basically, it's
our world's doomsday event. prophesized. A lot
of people believe in it. One day, the gods will
decide to end it all. Volcanoes will erupt, chain
reaction, and boom. There goes the world. Is
that what happens if the offerings stop? Some
people think so. And some people think it's a
good thing. The destruction beginning life. The
next life. We'll be moving on to something bigger
and better. I don't know. I'm not a religious
type, so... Well... let's pretend that you were,
or pretend that you were Emon Rath. Excuse me,
Emon Rath. Yeah, get it right, Blanche. If you
were to go to one of these volcanoes from here,
which one would you go to? What's the purpose
of the visit? Emon Rath's searching for a volcano.
What does he want with it? I mean, if you want
to find an easy one to get to, I mean, the...
Well, what about one with... The twins are just
up north. Easy path. Wide road. If you want to
have an impossible time, go to Jade Mount. Path
isn't blocked for an age. Elementals all over
the place. In cracks of molten lava scorching
the forest. Pockets of toxic gas. But, tons of
options. What if you were hunting valuable game?
Perhaps something forbidden? Well, if you don't
want to get caught, maybe you do go to Jade Mount.
Because nobody's going there these days. Blocked
by elementals, you say? That's what they say.
Seems like a hefty bet, Jules. Do we bet it all
and head for Jade? If you do, bring an offering.
Here's a favor. It's been a little rumbly lately.
Sounds just suspicious enough. Just enough. What's
an appropriate offering? Like I said, food's
always good. Goes with the old tales. But, uh,
get what you got. Here, actually. I was just
gonna say, what's your best dish here? I'll take
some of those spicy candies. He just puts a plate
down and smothers it in mole. You can see a bag
of mole. So much mole. Oh, I think they're offering
a whiskey, too. You should throw that in there.
He's, you know, a wise guy, kind of eyebrow -raised,
and he smiles and hands you his eye. Oh, sweet.
I was just about to roll persuasion. Deception,
rather. Well, tell them it comes from you and
you're in. Hell yeah. Now, uh, please leave.
Keep people behind you, just, like, staring.
Because he asked nicely. Blanche grabs a armful
of mole. An arm full of mollusks. Yeah, you know,
like, scoop it up. Each of the volcanoes has
temples built on them as you're kind of walking
away as they're calling over there. Oh, you're
not done? Do you have a map? You're the one that
said, please leave. Yeah, well, you probably
know this. If you're going to the offering, you
gotta leave it in the temple. You gotta find
the, uh, what's it called? Gate of Illumination.
That's the one on Jade Mount. You'll find it.
Keep taking the path. There should be steps leading
up and around towards the caldera. That's where
you're going to find it. Which path is this?
Can you draw us a map? There's a map store over
there. Are there trail signs, perhaps? No. Stephen,
I want to go to the map store and describe all
the maps. Let's role play that. Hello. Are you
here for the map? Here's one. Leave. There we
go. You have a map now. You spent money. How
much money did that map cost? No, no, no. We
bartered for mole. I don't care! You have a map.
Go on roll 20. It's right there. Check it out.
It's cool. Yeah, and none of them say anything
about... It's because it's on the GM layer, you
son of a bitch. Oh shit, I'm not logged in to
roll 20. I should probably do that. Yeah, well
now you can't go to the... Jade Mount. They actually
don't have Jade Mount on the... So this is actually
the map from the book. I did move some things
around because I wanted it to line up with my
view of things. You are in Shashotla. That's
what it is. Shashotla. Is that a question? I'm
so bad at pronunciation. On the edge of the Atiyali
Lake. As you look out, you see, if you travel
about 25 miles across the sort of mountainous
wilderness, you will reach the... mountain known
as jade mount in the temple known as the gate
of illumination and you're hoping this is what
eminrath went but i think as you're thinking
over this does make sense right if one of these
mountains is as he said some kind of leader i
mean if perhaps when he said this or when the
dark elf mentioned a god of this world being
the leader of the snake eaters Could it not be
one of these spirits, one of these elementals?
If that's the case, would it not be one that's
hard to reach? One that's out of the way? One
perhaps that exists in a land where quakes have
broken the road, where a harsh trek through magma
-streaked forests and poison gas sort of swamps
blocks your path? Stands to reason this is the
right direction to go. You are going to make
a very long trek. Are you sure of your choice?
What do you think, Akio? I'm here! Ruff! I was
waiting for someone to talk to me. I was staying
quiet. Because I don't like all the people. Ruff.
But yes, I can try to smell the trail as we go.
Perhaps I can catch a scent. Do you have anything?
I was actually just thinking about that. Does
Jules have anything? I actually don't know if
you do. Yeah. I'm not sure if there's ever been
an exchange. No. Damn. Yeah. No. Fuck. Bummer.
Well, I mean, you have our scent. You know what
I smell like and what Jules smells like, so perhaps
if you pick up on a third unique scent on this
oft -untraveled trail... Ah, yes. I shall do
my darndest as a disciple of Ozen to find this
other disciple of Ozen and tell him that he should
not call Master Ozen the Big O. How did you know
he says that? Do you have any business in the
city? Oh, almost certainly, but no, I'm anxious
to get on the trail. Okay. And so you push onwards.
Past people that scorn you. Outside of this city.
You leave Shishotla behind. Moving away from
the safety and comfort of Metzli's plane. Traveling
into the forest beset by spewing flame and shaking
earth. Traveling deeper into this world of fire.
And into the territory, perhaps, of a raging
god. And we'll call it there. Go there and die.
Become my final orphan. Words.