Hey, haters. Next time you want to hate on our
show, I want you to remember that we know a real
-life Knight. Yes, sir. Don't mess with the fantasy
pass crew. Yeah, we love it. We got backup. We
got backup. Here he is. If you want to get boo
-hearted all over, leave us a bad review. We're
going to wrap up for you, boss. Hell yeah. Hell
yeah. Yeah, that's what happens when you leave
a bad review. Yeah. Go, Oden Knight. Oden Knight,
how you doing? How are you guys doing today?
Oh, just wonderful. Peachy keen. Peachy, ducky.
Thank you for coming back. Thank you for spreading
more boo -har all up in here. Boo -her, don't
get hurt. Boo -her, sorry, yeah, yeah. I said
it right, yes. Oh, you got it right. Points,
David. Button for David. Hell yeah, we were talking
about bringing things to the next level last
week. What is that alluding to? What's going
on? So we have a bunch of different collaborations
happening all at once right now. So in November,
we are partnered up with the Maker Effect Foundation.
It's a nonprofit that promotes STEM and artistry.
And we'll be over at the Central Florida Fairgrounds
in Orlando, Florida on November 8th and 9th.
And we will be doing all of the medieval combat
fighting that we can do, and the audience will
love it. Come out there, whack a knight, see
what we're doing, learn the history of it. I'm
going to be doing a little bit on the metallurgy
and the chemistry of making the armor and the
weapons, what type of steel grains there are
for all you nerds that are out there. And we're
also going to have a couple swordsmiths out there,
as well as some sword masters from the historical
European martial arts groups. Both Crossroads
Swords and Living Mire will be there as well.
And we're all going to argue why the longsword
is a dex weapon, not a strength weapon. Whoa.
Yes, sir. I'm interested. The Discord just caught
on fire. Everybody in the comment section, chill
out. It's the truth. I'm going to take your word
for it, to be honest. I've never held a long
sword. After that, we'll actually have, with
a four -armor combat, we'll be sponsoring a march
on Disney Springs in Orlando, Florida. Yes, on
Disney property. We'll get to see a bunch of
people in armor walking around. there and it'll
be another wonderful experience come out hang
out take pictures with us we'll be ending the
day over at raglan road having some dinner getting
some meat and a drink on and a nice long table
where we all can sit down and enjoy ourselves
in armor damn yes that sounds fantastic So I
understand that there is some connection between
you and David's alma mater at UCF. USF. USF,
excuse me. Yes, yes. Honestly. He's at USF. I
am an alma mater at UCF. My alma mater is over
at UCF. Okay. I'm sorry to hear that. That's
unfortunate for me. What we're going to have
is read Mission of the War on I -4. Yes. So what
we're doing here, UCF is the first official collegiate
program that has a Buhurt club in it. So they
are the first official night fighting team in
the United States. That's really, really cool.
And we're looking at either USF, FSU, FAMU, or
FIT to be the second. Depending on who can fill
out the paperwork first and get approved by the
student government for their university. David,
you missed it by like, what, 13 years? I know.
Turn the bowls into minotaurs. I would be so
down. So what would be fun, though, is that if
we actually have that war set up. Sorry, not
if, when. When we have the war set up. We need
you to come down so we can put you in armor.
And it'll be you representing USF, the Bulls,
versus the Golden Knights of UCF. Oh, man. You
know what? Yeah. All right. I would love to see
David in armor. The Minotaurs and the Golden
Knights. I am so into it. We'll make that happen.
You come down, we will make that happen. I do
go to Florida here and there. That is my one
place. I have friends there. I have family there.
And I know a knight there. So let's do this.
Oh, my gosh. I think that's a couple of things
that were going on over here in Florida. And
then, you know, once the collegiate leagues take
off and the pro leagues between Tampa and Orlando,
obviously there'll be some war there too. The
war on I -4 part two. And then from there, we'll
just keep fighting on. We'll send up teams over
to the stateside tournaments. And once we get
really good enough, we'll be able to go international
with our competition. Wow. And one of the things
I would love. this is actually be a little fantasy
over here for us to make a reality. Have our
guys. Yes. You see what happened there? Have
our guys in armor cast with you guys. When we're
all playing D and D, especially for some of our
noobs that never played D and D before. Oh yeah.
Give a good beginner's guide experience. The
why you were wearing this armor. Damn. Don't
threaten me with a good time. Oh, I'm threatening
you with a really good time. Well, let's see
if we can make it happen. Um, but Sean, Thank
you so much. I really appreciate you coming on.
And to all you pants people out there who are
maybe in college, going to college, about to
get there, I guess reach out and tell your school,
hey, man, I want to do some wallop. And maybe
you can be the next school who gets a armored
combat league. That's very cool. Thank you for
what you're doing, man. I appreciate it. Thank
you very much for just... hanging out with you
guys man this is awesome yeah awesome super inspirational
all right let's uh let's get into the next episode
hopefully we don't get walloped it's good it's
david we're gonna get walloped hey if anybody
wants you without my permission Cerberusium,
also known as Lion's Mane. Now the world of Otago
is a wild place filled with mystery. From the
burning jungles to the wide open plains. It is
on these plains that particular tribe of Leonin,
Lionfolk to the uninitiated, commit their lives
to the art of the hunt. The legend goes that
one such party of hunters, the best in the tribe,
were in pursuit of an ambitious foe, a colossal
boar. The boar in question had grown far beyond
its natural limits and was exhibiting extremely
aggressive behavior. The party tracked the beast
down. They found it covered in strange fungal
growths. Unperturbed, they struck at the boar,
and it struck back. In the ensuing struggle,
Razor was bitten by the infected beast and trampled.
The rest of the party, fearing what they could
not understand, fled, and left the poor soul
to die. But instead, Razor was reborn. The infection
combined with his existing primal rage, creating
a monstrous enraged lion man, empowered by the
mysterious parasite. Already a natural weapon
was enhanced beyond belief, with fungal armor
covering his shape and sharp and full growth
wrapping around his tail. He returned to his
tribe, donning the new title of Lion's Mane.
And for Lion's Mane, the plains of Otago would
prove to be too small a hunting ground. It would
expand his territory to all of our worlds, becoming
a luminary of the Radiant Citadel. Now the particulars
of Reese's power made for a, uh, controversial
figure. Folks saw his infection as a danger,
and his presence as tempo. Over time though,
Lion's made him prove himself a true hero, with
full control over his abilities. He specialized
in guard and rescue actions foremost, never wanting
to see another soul stranded and left behind.
Though we haven't heard much from Reezy about
current events, he tends to keep to himself and
doesn't much care for the flashy showmanship
of our more dominant blue and red veterans. Still,
for all those folks that find themselves lost
and alone in the wild, know that they may be
safe to be found, but need the protection of
the Lion's mane. And you see Lion's Mane itself
is a pun. Therefore, it's awesome. Thank you,
John. Crow's Nest Craft. You know, you love them.
Nice. Way to go, John. Good one. Yeah, it's a
solid one. Super cool. I actually like the idea
enough that it might inspire something down the
line, but we'll get there eventually. What does
that mean? You'll never know. You'll know, but
not for a while. Never a strong word there. Thank
you, John, so much. I'm so excited to have your
luminary in the world. And actually, Jeremy doesn't
know this, but John's already working on earning
some big buttons. You do know this. No, I don't.
Okay. John's already working on earning himself
some big buttons. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we
were at his place the other day. Can we talk
about that? Can we talk about that yet? Is that
some cool news coming out from the Crossroads
Craft world? I think there's cool stuff to come.
We'll talk about that when it comes out. We've
got a little more information. We've got a little
more time. I want to tickle the balls until I
get the full info. Yeah. Wait. You said my name.
Jeremy doesn't know. Don't tickle my balls. Oh,
well, no. It's a different thing. Oh, it's a
different thing. We're going on tangents after
tangents. So we're at John's place to do a cool,
mysterious thing. And while we were there, we
happened to see his studio where he does all
of his craft, the Crow's Nest craft craft. And
he had put together with his, as he puts a dollar
store build, he buys dollar store items and he
puts them together to create like cool things.
He was making, we saw a structure just sitting
on his desk. And he was like, hey, you recognize
this? And I looked at the structure. Super cool.
He had all these, you know, every little roof
shingle in place. I saw a sign hanging above
the door. The, wait for it, saloon door. It was
the ugly carry -on. It could be ugly too. He
pulled it up. He has the bar inside. He has all
the upstairs. Holy shit. He has everything. Well,
he has the map from the zine. Yes, yeah, yeah.
So he's using the map from the zine. Yeah. I
know, when he showed it to us and he was like,
oh, do you guys recognize this? I was like, there's
no way in hell. There's no way that I could ever
assume that somebody would put the time in to
do that. And so I was just like, oh, no, that's
really cool. And then David noticed the saloon
doors. The only pub that has them. Really and
truly, yeah. He's making a super legit ugly coyote
model. So cool. It's amazing. So, so cool. Yeah,
thank you, John, so much. And go find John on
Instagram, CrowsNestCraft. Hell yeah. If you're
local, keep your eyes out because he does a lot
of paint and sits. They are awesome. He is incredibly
informative. My wife has joined them. Stephen
has joined them. They're a ton of fun. So check
them out. Yeah. Oh, well. I think I've kept you
in trepidation, or maybe you've kept me in trepidation,
I should say, long enough, Steven. I want to
know if you're going to be a good little puppet
and read the words I wrote for you, or if you're
going to break your strings. This is such a weird
situation to do with a player. Like, it's kind
of like my thing. I'll just be watching, you
know. movies or whatever think about books or
story tropes and i'll be like man that would
be absolutely awful to experience i should do
that to steven and jeremy yeah i just wish somebody
would tell me what to do oh only you can tell
you what to do i'm telling you what to do right
yeah no i understand that word for word uh you
are about to give a speech let me get some music
hang on let me get some music yeah where's the
music david right there you are about to give
a speech that may change things may affect things
If you do not give this speech word for word,
you will seem very suspicious. If you do give
it word for word, you will get a little more
in with the baddies. But at what cost? Pantsy
people don't know what's written on the message
I sent to you. The scroll Salome has tucked away
as she stands before all these watching eyes.
But I know what's on it. And you know what's
on it. And everything has gone quiet. Salome
thinks to herself. Definitely, certainly does
not say this out loud. But she thinks. I am sorry,
Dresden Kellig. This tree still has fruit to
bear. What'd you say? Someone says in the front.
I didn't say that out loud. I know, I have to
take thoughts. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit,
guy's back. Oh, damn. Okay. Salome lowers her
hands onto the table in front of her. I will
make this brief. I will not be answering questions,
as I would like to stop remembering this battle.
The incident last night at the Ugly Coyote was
not what it seemed. On the surface, it appeared
to be an attack on innocents, so I intervened.
In reality, it was a nasty trick designed to
create a certain narrative, but everything is
not what it seems. I believe Jules LaRoche...
and Blanche Trudeau to be the masterminds behind
this illusion. They used magics and their co
-conspirator, Dresden Kellig, to make it look
like Captain Commander Ariat was leading an assault.
In reality, the Shieldbearers bear no responsibility.
Oh, shit! Why? Would the shield bearer, Captain
Commander, attack children in the night? What
motive could he have? We are being lied to. Only
today have we learned the full extent of Sholay
Brass' abuse against the minds of our world.
Thank Atash that she has been caught and will
face justice. Let her coming trial and sentencing
be a lesson to us all. We cannot let ourselves
be tricked again. We cannot let liars, schemers,
go unpunished, undying, or unrestricted. At this
moment, I cannot prove that Jules and Blanche
were the true masterminds behind last night's
attack, so I cannot ask for their arrest. I can,
however, still ask for some action to be taken.
That is why I am requesting the immediate removal
of their luminary privileges. and passports.
Our speakers need to stand up and protect us
all. No more leniency for false luminaries. This
may be the darkest age our worlds have ever known.
But do not fear. If you believe in the power
of our luminaries, our true... Luminaries, we
will get through this together. Thank you all.
Okay. Okay. Some words change, but I think you
will make your overseers very, very happy. The
crowd is cheering, roaring, flashing. lights
as you step away, perhaps take to the skies where
they cannot follow you. Yeah, certain exit strategy.
And we look upon that empty stage, that crowd
uproarious, and we pan away as our stage turns
into a screen on a wall, a projection of light.
We pan into the ugly coyote where Jules and Blanche
Just witnessed their downfall. That bitch. Fuck
yeah. Dresden, I imagine this was very interesting
for you. You know she had come last night. I
don't think you're the whole party. I don't know
if you guys have had a lot of time to discuss
everything that happened. Maybe that's something
that's going to happen now. But Dresden. You
know that Salome is on your side. At least she
seemed to be. Do we know that? She stood against
Ariat when he was trying to say, hey, your master,
Atash, is the one behind this. He wants this.
And she fought. Nearly died. Right there. Right
in front of those saloon doors. She almost fell.
Saving the kids. Saving you. There's more going
on here. You have to think. I will ask, has anything
else happened this night? Or will we pass through
some time? Okay, how are we watching this? Projectored
screen. Aether slides down a big old canvas screen.
He has an old dusty projector. He has to slap
it a few times to get it to activate. It's magic.
It makes no sense. Jules will get up, walk over
to the projector, pick it up, and throw it at
the wall. Wait, whoa, that's expensive. Oh, shit.
That's a diamond worth at least 300 gold. The
projection is actually just pure crystal. You
slot in little diamonds. So the diamond does
roll out because that's where you get the actual
images go through that. And they enhance the
diamond images that shine out. But yeah. And
you're just like, that projection's worth at
least five gold. And then he will exit through
the saloon doors. No, he slams them open. They
flop back and forth for like ten minutes straight.
And then he'll go just off to the side and sit
with his back against the wall. A couple moments
later, Jules can do whatever Jules wants to do.
Blanche will... Follow out. Gotta wait for those
saloon doors to calm down. Yeah. Jaune tries
to go out and goes, falls backwards. Those doors
were moving very fast, but I dexterously slipped
through. What's our next move, Jules? We don't
know how long we'll be able to move freely on
the Citadel. Or between worlds. Yeah, now you
don't know how long you'll be able to leave.
That's right. Will the speakers heed Artash's
call? Should we appeal to the speakers ourselves?
You know that Xolay, this entire last mission
you went on, was so she could get any control
back from him. And that mission horribly failed.
If you think there's any chance that one last
vote, Queen Jean Mee won't see you stripped of
your titles. You're kidding yourselves. I don't
know how we finish this righteously. How do we
do this without going to their level? Well...
What's the less righteous option? And we can
work backwards from there, perhaps. Kill them
all. I don't know that even we assembled here
could accomplish that. I think the most important
part, Jules, is making sure that the Cherry Delights
are safe. Can we make this place safe for them?
I think Jules is, like, short -circuiting. So
much bad. I think he's starting to worry that
he's not going to be able to do this without
getting his hands dirty. You had this moment
of empowerment in that last fight. This quenching
of the darkness. You felt free for just a moment
of that influence. And now, with Chester, with
this, with everything, you feel him creeping
back. Dark tendrils around your heart. waiting
for you to die, waiting for you to fuck up, waiting
for you to hate just enough. Sholay told us to
stay, right? She basically just told you to don't
do anything. The time will come. We can still
stop them, but wait for their instructions. Okay.
The only thing we have right now is Sholay. And
we gotta listen to her. We fucking stay put.
It's a big risk to take. Where else are we going
to go? You got a better fucking idea? Could we
take them to Zinda? Could we take them to God's
Breath? You just heard that. We can't go anywhere.
Well, we don't know if the door has finally...
If it's closed yet. They just are appealing to
the speakers. How are we going to get the kids
off here? Maybe Jean could help. Maybe we could
sneak them. A shipment of jelly wine. I'm just
afraid. I'm afraid that Sholay doesn't have any
more power. I... You don't know how she spent
her last few hours of freedom. She had, I think
she put it, she has a few more cards to play
before she leaves the table, but can you trust
that those cards were the royal flush you need?
How do you overcome this? How long do we wait?
When do we decide that? I don't know. Sholay
is the only thing we can trust right now. That
is it. Okay, well, I will stay here with you
and we'll make the coyote safe. And until we
hear something, the Cherry Delights are your
charge and I will do as you see best. I won't
let any harm come to them here. She may not have
the same power that she used to. But she still
knows a lot more than we'll ever dream of. I
hope we can do it without her. Do you know many
of Sholay's allies? She seemed to be very secretive
in the short time that I knew her. I love this,
too, because we as players know that Blanche
has been massaged by one of her best agents.
But Blanche has no idea. No idea. I know a few.
Do we fade to black on this night? is resolved
to stay and wait. I can see the same sort of
scenario at the bar. Jules, Blanche, and Dresden
sitting there planning a rotation over the course
of the night, planning a defense strategy, you
know, making a plan with the kids. If something
is to happen, this is what you're to do. And
you know, you have, you look around this room
and You have a force in here. Jean Franklin,
the Fisher King. You have Akio the Akita. You
have Gabriel Cortez, no longer Dance Macabre,
but still a fierce fighter. You have Arhalon
Brass sitting alone at a table, worried for his
mother who he couldn't find. But what do you
do? You have all of them. I was going to say,
for the record, the main... room of the coyote
the main downstairs is now the only place that
anybody sleeps and stays hell yeah particularly
when they sleep i think jewels set up like a
little uh you know maybe a bunch of sleeping
bags in the corner away from the door um so that
way they're all kind of contained right in the
corner there and then the rest of us are strategically
kind of placed blocking that corner i think like
throughout the night akio would full -on just
be at the door Kind of you're awake, aware, door
guard, sniffing at the air, waiting for trouble.
Does anybody in the coyote have any sort of carpentry
skill? That's a good question. Aether's got to
have something. You know what? He built a coyote.
You're right. He actually does have. Aether's
a carpenter. I think he built this place, essentially.
I think he bought the land. Do you think, Aether,
that we can build a solid door? Just for now.
You want to get rid of the saloon door. I don't
know. Well, it is difficult to lock it, and if
you don't remember... I just love when it makes
that sound, like the ba -doom, ba -doom, ba -doom,
you know? Yeah, lest you forget, you did almost
die here not long ago. Now, they didn't come
in through the saloon door. They came in through
the windows upstairs and my office door, which
was actually locked. So the windows upstairs,
can they be secured and locked? No, the saloon
windows. Sorry. It's not canon. But fuck, would
that be cool? No. Blanche is shocked and surprised
that Ader hasn't already started building a solid
door. No, he'll go do it. As a DM, I hate you
for this so much. You took everything from me.
No, no, I'm reacting. I was going to say, you
fuck us. You put me, you put us in the situation,
and we react to it. Pants people, riot. They've
gone too far this time. It'd be like going out
in negative 20 degrees and being like, yeah,
but shorts are kind of my thing. Like, I always
wear shorts no matter where I go. He's already
fixing it. He's like, did you see him walk over
there? Hang on, hang on. I think I have sad music
somewhere. Give me a second. I'm putting this
on. This is too sad not to. You got a little
tiny violin music over there. We watch on as
Ader, tears and eyes, approaches the saloon door
with one mighty heavey crack. rips the right
door off its hinges and tossed it into the street.
You don't have to break it. This will blow over,
I'm sure. It's okay. We'll get through this together.
With his mighty paws, he reaches the left door
and tears it off its hinges. As it falls, it
makes one last little patoo. And saloon doors
are gone. With Ichigenka and, um... its ability
to do a boatload of damage on items. Blanche.
Don't you fucking do it. No, come on. You son
of a bitch. Blanche cuts the saloon doors into
matchsticks. Good. Ada has a heart attack on
the spot. We can ban this now and cook over the
fire. Oh, God. No. You monsters. Goodbye, saloon
doors. Goodbye. Fade to black, so. Fade to black.
You hear the bolt slide shot. Wait, hold on,
hold on. Jules isn't done yet. Oh shit, what
are you doing now? Jules uses performance of
creation. God damn it! And animating performance
to animate the matchsticks. What, what, what?
It forms into a little hand and flips Ader off.
Betrayed by what I love most! By your own creation.
No! He has a second heart attack. And then we
fade to black. It's so stupid. Oh my god, okay.
I'm gonna have to call John. Let's, uh... Take
the doors off! I can't look at them! Second episode
energy, baby. God damn it. Okay. It's the dumbest
thing we've done in a good while. Finally. It's
the best thing we've done in like 150 episodes.
Get rid of those stupid doors. You know what?
Revenge time. Yeah, I bet. Let's start flashing
over the next week. Some days later, the votes
of Akron and Gar come in. Perhaps we just see
you sitting before the screen again, new projector
in place. Shiny new projector. Shiny new projector.
We got it from the sparkle shop or whatever.
Yeah, I was going to say, how much gold do I
actually need to subtract to get a new projector?
Five gold. That's probably about right. Perfect.
And we see a scene of excitement on the Radiant
Seydel as Atash has been made the speaker for
Ankar and Sengar, taking Sholay's position and
taking... Ultimate control over the Citadel.
Some days after that, following a trial we do
not see, we watch as Xolay is marched from her
holdings in a rural town. No fight. Too strongly
bound by crystalline magic, she just walks on
to booing crowds. Does not look at them. Her
eyes focused forward, her gaze proud. She wears
her human guise, her real self in her mind as
she moves. There is a veritable army of Celestials
surrounding her, including Atash. She speaks
no words as she is taken aboard the turquoise
conquered jewel and taken to the Sky Prison.
We see... Another news report some days after
that. It looks like the Gwishin attack has become
somewhat more known news now, and Queen Jinmi
has taken credit for ending it. Once again, perpetuating
this lie to make her house strong. She has also
made the shocking choice to bring in celestial
reinforcements to help guard her world from further
dangers. And as she does so, a number of other
worlds that we're holding out begin to fold as
well. Day after day, we see more worlds giving
in to the demand for Celestials. Afraid of losing
themselves, of being torn into the gloom of who
knows what. It's just a scary place now. And
Atash, his protection feels so safe. And so you
watch passively. waiting as Atash takes everything.
But it's not all bad. There are moments of levity,
moments of light within these coming days. For
one, as you wait, I imagine you are spending
your time working on yourselves, empowering yourselves
for what's to come. I'm going to say this right
now. all of your characters, the only ones we're
going to focus on for certain reasons right now,
level up. We can resolve those level ups next
episode, what you get, what you gain. And we'll
talk about like what you're doing to train at
that point. So we can kind of inform the level
ups, but you are, you've been through a lot.
You're going to get stronger. It just makes sense.
So you level up. We've got that much. We've got
to level up. There is a day during this dark
period, maybe like two weeks following the events
of Yanito and the attack on the coyote, where
you receive a package of the coyote. It seems
to just appear. It's going to say it's sliding
to the saloon doors, but I can't say that anymore.
Thank God. You hear a knock on the door, you
open it, and you see a package is sitting there.
No one is around. Whoever left it must be keeping
it quite secret. As you, I imagine, pry it open,
you would see a familiar emblem adorning the
bottom of the crate. The emblem of the mage,
Smith. Oh my god. And another one as well. I
don't know what this emblem looks like. I'm going
to have to ask on the Discord. Get in the Discord.
Beside it, the emblem of a luminary you would
know as the Fallman. A toy maker. Yes, yes, yes.
That's right. Yes. Thank you, Don. And as I imagine
you slide this inside, you want to look at what's
in it? Nah, it can't be that important. Okay.
Yes, very anxious. Some good news, finally. I
mean, being cooped up inside has been pretty
rough, so I think it's very heartening when you
see... A plethora of toys lying on the top of
this crate. Nice. I actually have a list of them.
Oh, my God. Yeah, cool. A pangolin that rolls
around on the floor. Oh, perfect. A cymbal monkey,
but it's a dragon with cymbal wings. That fucking
rules. Oh, yeah. A tiny walking butt that releases
smells. Perfect. A wind -up wagon big enough
for just round stuff and a pangolin and not much
more. Wearable bunny ears that twitch. You know
round stuff's all over those. A spatula, spoon,
fork, ladle, and more multi -tool that will mine
the stove. Mulligan is all over it. A magical
jobby? And maybe just a bag of spare parts. That's
essentially like Lego. It's a little Lego piece
you can slide together. I think Misty can kind
of take to that. Looks kind of excited, like,
this could be a trap. He's putting together a
little cabin. He just wants to play with it,
but he's trying to look cool. DM, I require a
small bit of clarity. Yeah. The wagon that is
big enough for round stuff and a pangolin and
nothing more. Yeah. Is that round stuff being
pulled by Jamal the pangolin? It is now. Okay,
great. Because that's adorable. And there's something
else as well. Resting wrapped at the bottom.
As you move the toys aside, there's a certain
hum, a buzz that seems to flood through this
crate. Power. Magical power. Something. Something
incredible waits at the bottom. I think you know
a little bit what it might look like, Mr. Jeremy
Wolf. A puppy. Yes! Yes! Yes! As you remove the
packaging of this long item and see a war pick.
Looking much like the one we have here. We see
this War pick. The head, uh, the black stone.
He's got it next to him. He's got it next to
him. Look at it. Look at that resin filler. Look
at that thing. Oh, we gotta swing it. We gotta
swing it at me. Swing it at Steven. Get him.
Get David's computer. It's got all his notes
on it. Hurry, fast. Yeah. David. What? Don't
fuck us. Ah! Yeah. You see, the head of this
pick, being remade of an old smithing hammer,
is wrought of adamantium, quenched in the blood
of a remorse. You don't see this. I just know
this. quenched in the blood of a morass, and
tempered by the heat of a dragon's breathing.
The wood came from the mageman's time on Godsworth,
where he worked with the Fallmen to educate the
Children of Promise, where they made these toys
for the Cherry Delights. It was one of those
tiny armored weapons to really up the hand as
a doll -selling game, because it's rad as hell.
Hell yeah, it is. You see, this wood is Stormfall,
both in and out of game, actually, but in -game
version. This is the wood of a pecan tree. and
treated with pecan oil crossed from the nuts
of that, no, it's not, of that same tree. And
Andrew tells me that pecan is a hickory, which
is one of the top class woods for handles and
walking sticks and fighting sticks. This might
even make sense. And also pecan trees are cool.
Super cool. The Jasper pecan tree was a cool
dude. Yeah, man. I'm going to tell you what this
is. This is, I can't believe I'm saying these
words, a plus two. Nice. Nice. Whoa. Nice. Holy
shit. It has an ability that I, there's a list
of them. I picked the one I kind of like the
most. I made some modifications to it because
it's a plus two. Can't make it too strong. Uh
-huh. Andrew called this ability Pick Your Family.
Get it? Puns. While using your weapon to defend
a loved one, your crit range expands by one and
you have advantage on opportunity attacks. Now,
before you get excited, The way I'm going to
interpret this, especially because it's plus
two, is that the expanded crit range will only
proc on opportunity attacks you take in defense
of a close ally. So AoEs and a foe go after someone
other than you or a proc of your sentinel feat
when someone you care about is attacked will
have an expanded crit range, 1920 crits. Nice.
And advantage on the attack, so more likely to
get that crit. Oh, yeah. So you'll never see
that crit. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Andrew. Nice
try. There's a note as well for Dresden. Okay.
Dresden. I happen to be keeping an eye on the
ugly coyote. It's a good place, and a certain
group of kids there is deserving of protection.
I saw what you did. A right display of loyalty
and purpose, fighting off that lot. It may be
something I've been working on. You see, I believe
a thing is not broken just because it fails once.
Sometimes a thing can be reforged and become
something new. Something better, even. That's
what I've been working on lately. Taking something
that was no longer useful and making it whole
again. The thing is hefty and has a nice weight
to it. The head is forged from a hammer that
broke its own handle, in the wood for the haft
of the thing of beauty, with its own flaws made
a part of the design. You see that resin glowing
as you pick it up. I don't know its full potential
yet, but a weapon like this feels like it belongs
in the hands of someone who doesn't shy away
from a brutal or tactical fight. I wanted you
to have it. It's a thank you for keeping those
kids safe, and a nod from one hero To another,
the mage smith. What's up? I was just, this was
me saying I want to speak next. Yeah, okay. What's
going on? You don't get one. Not for you. I have
something to say after you do. And sometimes,
just sometimes, if you believe in yourself enough,
you can smuggle weapons in a crate of children's
toys. We don't know how he did it. It was mysterious
and cool. We're thinking about names. I asked
Andrew what he thought about a name, and I don't
know. He said, you know, you can pick one, but
he did offer one option that I think is kind
of cool. You want to put it out there? Uh -huh.
Heart wrencher. Okay. Well, because it references
the feeling of seeing a loved one in peril, as
well as what this bad boy might do aimed at a
chest. Okay. Ah. You're going to wrench a heart.
All right. Sure, sure, sure. All right. Give
me the week to think about it. Hell yeah. Take
the week. That's fair. That's more than fair.
Take the week. And then Jules was reading this
note, and then he folds up the note, puts it
in his pocket, and then slips the war pick in
his back pocket and looks around like... Looks
over at Dresden and says just, I don't know,
there's nothing for you. Oh, bummer. That's kind
of shitty. Yeah. I think, Dresden, you were meant
to have this little stinky bot. Oh, God. I said
shitty before you said butt. So stupid. Dresden,
I imagine, does he take the weapon? Oh, God,
yeah. Does he accept it? Yeah, of course. Hell
yeah. Maybe we see him just holding this thing,
surrounded by this family he's chosen to protect,
all of them playing with their silly toys. If
you will allow this. No. Fuck. Dresden will take
out his old war pick and give it to Miskin. Whoa.
Oh, my gosh. It's huge for him, but he looks
so excited. Yeah. He, like, reaches out, like,
almost just fingers quivering as he wraps his
little hands around the half of it and pulls
it over. Whoa. You're a hero now. That's so cool.
You're so cool. I think the butt, like, is in
front of him and it farts. And he kind of...
He, like, looks down, does, like, a... And he
kind of looks at you like he shouldn't have laughed,
like, that's not cool. You guys are serious.
And then Dresden farts. This is just stupid.
So good. And Miskin laughs. Again. So Jamal is
like all over the rolling pangolin on the floor,
just trying to like romance that thing. Put the
saloon doors back on. This place smells like
a locker room. I told you that's what happened.
Oh my God. Oh my gosh. So cool. Thank you, Andrew.
That was an expensive one. Between the toys and
everything, Andrew and Don went on the toys and
Andrew went on the war pick and all of it. It
was like 20. Two buttons. Jesus Christ. It was
a lot, so. Wow. Yeah, Andrew ended up doing,
I can't remember how, but a lot of it, so it
was pretty wild. Believe it or not, gift time
isn't over yet. Oh, boy. Yeah, we have been building
up a couple of gifts. I got another one for you,
and this one's also very fun. Ready for this?
Yeah. Another day, you hear something strange
outside the door, some kind of whirring, buzzing
sound. Just sitting outside, just like it's hovering
there. Super subtle. Quick, we're under attack!
Someone opens the door at some point. You're
not afraid. And you see this hand -sized polyhedral
object gently hovering in the direction of the
party. A collection of parts whirring, buzzing,
and oscillating. I love this. Kevin wrote this.
Given the impression it is not as much flying
as being so ugly that the ground naturally repels
it. What? It's such a Kevin. You see this thing
sort of drops down a small burnished steel box.
And it sort of flies out of the room. The box
is just sitting there. Oh, great. A box. Anyone
want to go to that box? Who's touching the box?
Hey, Blanche, you should open it. Okay. Yeah,
sure. Blanche will open the box. I'll stand behind
you while you do. You probably do some magical
checks and you're like, okay, this seems like
it. You open the box and when you touch it, you
hear a voice sort of ring out. Just identity
confirmed. Blanche Trudeau, master of defense.
I feel like this thing's about to explode. And
the box opens through a tiny device in bright
yellow brass and dull red copper, followed by
a transparent image of a young man in armor and
goggles. Visible with a box who speaks a message.
Also, you might recognize this man as a luminary
named Sunlight. A luminary that was inspired
by Kevin's son's character. Oh, yeah, that's
right. A artificer. Hey, um, guys? You look to
be making a lot of big shots nervous, fellows
high -minded and heavy -handed. Me and mine don't
care much for big shot types, and we like to
hope that you'll keep up the good work. I've
crafted a little something that may be in handy
to keep close, just in case something goes wrong
and one of you falls. Using it on someone recently,
very recently deceased will deliver an energizing
and absolutely unpleasant jolt that should put
them back on their feet again. That being said,
I'd appreciate if you tried to keep it discreet.
You hear like a... As the drone gets stuck on
the side. Remember, what this device does might
look a lot like a particular type of magic. Powerful,
life -restoring magic that our friends in high
places don't seem to care for in unrestricted
use. Stay safe out there. And for security purposes,
this message will self -destruct in five seconds.
Wait, no, wait, three! Blanche throws it directly
at the pale moonlight. He just throws it out
the door. It blows up. You threw it. You don't
take damage. It's going to make you roll a d4.
Boom! Small little explosion, like a little gunshot
goes off. Someone on the street screams. Let's
talk about the item. This is an artificer spell
-storing item that an artificer can do with a
single use of Revivify. Built in. Wow. Casting
time, one action. Range, touch. You touch a creature
that has died within the last minute. That creature
returns to life with one hit point. Oh, jeez.
It can't return a creature to life that died
of old age, nor can it restore missing body parts.
So, pretty wild. I'm very stingy with this, but
this is the one you get. Because I'm curious
to see what you'll save it for and what you'll
use it on. It's very interesting. This is your
one. get a death -free card. And you have to
be very careful how you use it. And we have to
use it in the right, you know, it has to be the
right conditions. Can we use it retroactively
and bring Zeb back? No. 100 % no. It's been a
lot longer than a minute. I also like to imagine
this device you're looking at might look like
a little shock paddle because drama. And I've
been watching a lot of drama shows and it's just
clear! You know, it's awesome. It's cool. Right?
Is that not cool? Yeah, it's super cool. It sure
is. Hell yeah. And with that... Another device
tucked away. One to keep in mind, because I don't
know who's going to carry this thing, but it's
going to be a very big deal to decide. We'll
have to do some table talk about that later.
I do have one more thing for you. Oh my god!
Is it my birthday? This one's from me. Oh, okay.
I was just going to say thank you to the pants
people for being really nice to us, because David
is not. I'm going to be a little nice to you.
Just a little bit today. Just a tiny, teeny bit.
There is no knock on the door. At one point,
I think Ader just goes into his like back room
and he walks out kind of perplexed holding a
bag of holding in a note. It's a little sort
of purple dyed bag. We get a second bag of holding.
This was sitting on the bed. Um, it's a note
for you. He looks kind of perplexed. You know,
he's got a lot locked up and careful back there.
You look at the note and you see, I'm trying
to see if you would know. The handwriting. I'll
read it out. I wish I could offer you more support,
but my wealth is largely tied up in my information
network. I have paid my most trusted very well
to see a few final tasks through. They will be
in touch when the time is right. Do not act against
our foes before then. Just prepare yourselves
for the coming trials. Sholay. This note was
written... That day, you can see it's a few weeks
old. You have this bag of holding, and I think
you would know that to see what's inside a bag
of holding, you generally have to turn it inside
out and let the stuff inside just explode out
of it. Do you want to do that? I guess. I mean,
if there was no indication on the note, hey,
by the way, in case you don't want to blow your
shit up. So, okay. Blanche and Jules know it
just as well as Sholay knows it. So you find
a careful place to sort of step aside. Maybe
one of the rooms upstairs that's like empty.
So you just do whatever happens. You're not making
deal with a mess. Sure. And you pull it open.
And it begins to rain with gold and platinum
and gems. Oh, wow. Now that no one will sell
us anything and we are pariahs, David finally
is like, I'm going to give you guys some gold.
That's not true. Worthless. That's not true.
You can buy things. You're the trade discal,
baby. You're the main trading hub of all the
world. Hey, yeah. All the good stuff is here.
As long as they'll take our money. Anyone will
take your money. Okay, great. We live in America.
No, we don't. Oh, yeah. No one will take your
money. So how much is it? As this rains in, as
it finally, the last drops like platinum, you
have to stop and you're just looking at this
absolute mess. Either you just stare at each
other, probably just gawking towards it. You
take a long time to count this up. And when you
do, you count it and maybe somebody else counts
it. Maybe you count it again just to be absolutely
sure. You realize you were looking. At 50 ,000
gold. Oh, damn. Oh, damn. Oh, shit. I want to
be clear. This is total to be spent between your
four PCs and all sidekicks. Yeah, that's pretty
bonkers. Jules, Blanche, Dresden, Salome, Akio,
Jean, Gabriela, and Arhalon. I want to be open
with you on this. This will be the full party
or parties going into the next major arc. Or,
I should say. You're going to want to make everyone
as strong as you can for what is to come. So
think carefully how you want to spend. But this
is the big one. This is the payout. I've been
kind of building up to for a while. I didn't
give anything last time. The payout that we've
never gotten. That we've waited 150 episodes.
And Jeremy, this will be our last payout. Yep.
Yep. Yep. I'm going to be a little nice to you.
And with that, you staring at this payout, gifted
by your fellow luminaries, even in this darkest
time, there are people watching out for you,
people hoping to embolden you, to strengthen
you. And seeing that note, seeing this reward,
maybe you feel a little more hope in all this
darkness. We're going to pan away from that now.
We're going to go somewhere very dark. We hear
a chime ringing like a bell echoing through the
darkened, crystalline halls of an rural town
manor. The sound seems to pulse through the entire
building, surging through, accompanied by a dim
ring of light. And as this light reaches the
end of a long hall, as it shines into a dreary
living space, We see former speaker Cirilla LaRoche,
Jewel's unfortunate cousin, sitting upon her
bed. She stares down the hall, her hands shoot
to her temples, her body seems to collapse under
the wake of these chimes. Her breathing at first
rapid begins to slow. Her wide eyes begin to
settle with some realization. Six o 'clock. Six.
It's just six. It's dinner time. And she climbs
to her feet, wobbling a bit as she pushes away
from the bed. On unsteady legs, she begins to
move down the hall. And we see she looks different.
Her already pale skin is ghastly white now, her
blonde hair a loose mess. The robe of LaRoche
blue and white that covers her body is stained
with sweat. We watch her move through her once
pristine home. She passes by a dining table covered
in dishes, most of which hold barely touched
old meals. They are stacked upon each other,
the foodstuffs at the bottom of the stacks looking
bad. She passes receptacles overflowing with
garbage, a mess of letters spilling over a countertop.
She passes her office, where Jules once sat,
and a desk that has been utterly destroyed. A
fine chair sits untouched behind fractured, splintered
remains. A singular hatchet is still buried in
the surface wood. She passes this hall and reaches
the entrance of her manor just as another chime,
another light, moves through the building. Cirilla's
hands fall onto a series of gemstones that sit
beside the door. She touches one and whispers
a command. Transparent. The door seems to vanish
before her and she sees a single figure waiting
outside. A middle -aged, halfling woman with
dark braids and a white apron. A tray rests upon
her shoulder. silver with a lid, a match to a
number resting on the floor beside Cirilla's
dinner table that we saw. With a command, the
structure of the door fades back into sight.
Cirilla sighs, and then with another command,
lets the door slide open. Oh, evening, lady speaker.
I have your dinner for you. You'll like this
one. It's a... Thank you, Tamaris. Serla snaps
the platter off of the halfling's shoulder and
steps back into her home, her eyes scanning the
streets around, and we see a number of people
turn, a number of eyes fall on her, eyes full
of scorn or disgust, and she shrinks back from
them. And beneath and before those eyes, the
halfling, Tamaris, holds only concern in her
eyes. Are you okay, lady speaker? Just, it's
just, you look. I'm fine. Please go. Serla's
voice cracks. She whispers another command to
the gems beside the door and a wall of crystals.
slides into place before her and the world outside.
She breathes hard, her gaze locked down towards
the halfling chef, towards those eyes that she
can no longer see. Eyes that cared. Her hand
twitches towards the gentle side of her door,
mouth almost moving to form another command.
With a shaky sigh, she lets her hand drop, lets
her expression settle from desperate need to
cool scorn. She closes her eyes, collects herself,
and does not see the pool of black mist forming
in the entrance hall behind her. She only opens
her eyes again at the sound of a click. She turns
to see the gleam of a bolt loaded into a heavy
crossbow pointed at her chest. The teenage boy
behind wears a pink floral shirt over a chain
vest. An assortment of weapons, a dagger, a warhammer,
a bow, all hanging from the straps around his
body. His orange hair, tucked in a wide brim
hat, is messier even than Cirilla's. And his
freckled face might look innocent, if it wasn't
for the impassive eyes hanging over his gap -toothed
grin. Yo. Who? Cirilla steps back, stammering.
I'm a friend of Jules. He had me good on a sweet
and promise he made ya. Do you remember it? You're
gonna get what's coming to you. Though he was
a bit off when he said he'd be the one to do
it, huh? Shula's hands raise above her head and
she slowly steps back towards the door, towards
that panel of gems that sit beside it. You're
making a mistake. I'm no enemy to my cousin.
We have a common foe now. Atash, Atash, he's
gonna come after all of you. He ruined our family.
I just want to get back at him like you do. Justice
undying, right? And Chester just chuckles. Yeah,
Chester's undying, that's rich. Now if that's
true, why are you trying to reach that console,
huh? Gonna call for help? The crossbow raises,
pointing right between Cirilla's eyes. Say I
actually let you hit that alarm. Who's coming?
Your family hates you. And despite what the lady
at the door said, you ain't a speaker no more.
Face it, lady, you're just a ghost, haunting
your little home here all alone. And Troll's
expression kind of darkens as sudden hardness
returns to her forced smile. I'm still rich.
I still have shield barriers in my pocket. I
don't have to squash a brat like you. Oh, all
right. Go ahead. Go for the alarm. See if you
can move faster than my trigger finger. She bites
her lip, her eyes locked on the edge of that
loaded bolt. You could miss. And Chesta's eyes
flash a thick stalk of misdirection to the name
Chesta Trickshot inscribed into it, and his grin
grows too wide. Lady, you better pray I don't
miss. Shirella's muscles tense. Her eyes flicker
to the console behind her, then back to the edge
of the bolt, and... and... and she takes a step
away from the door. Her shoulders fall. Her eyes
settle. Please. Please, I can help you. I really
can help you. Oh, I suspect you can. So long
as you're done being brave and stupid, let's
take this into your office, huh? I got some questions
for you. And she looks back at the door one last
time, and she's ushered away, thinking of those
eyes outside, the help that is gone. With her
hands still raised, she moves down the hall,
Chester keeping a ten -foot distance behind,
his hands perfectly steady with every step. They
turn into a doorway moving into this ruined office.
Chet's eyes scan over the broken desk filled
with good humor. Woof! You really gotta take
better care of your place. It's been a bad few
months. Ha! No kidding. How's about you take
a seat, huh? Insula complies, moving past the
rectum of her desk and sitting in her lone chair,
her hands clenched to the edge of the armrest
with white knuckles, her composure swiftly melting
away as she stares ahead. Now, I want you to
tell me everything you know about your Auntie
Cerise. About the child you had the shield bears
kidnap from the coyote. I want to know where
the two of them are right now. Got it? I don't
know. I don't know, please. She would never tell
me that. And yet I feel like that would annoy
you. I feel like you'd look into it. So, let's
start with your best guess. And we're going to
cut here to a long while later. We cut to Chester
stepping out from the office doorway, whistling
a familiar tune. He turns back for a moment,
his eyes catching the splashes of red on crystalline
walls of the silent home. Just a ghost. And he
moves toward the entrance, a little dance in
his step. He passes by a cracked mirror hanging
from the dining room wall, and he flashes himself
a smile and says, Hey Jules! You're welcome!
And he moves away, whistling that tune.