Welcome to Your Sidequest. Do you know what it
does, Farto? No, I'm just guessing it's bad.
He's replaced his arm with a small dragon. Are
you looking for a double date? Your Characters
Grongo stench. I'm a goblin. I'm Margaret Thatcher.
I have a goblin. I'm Tommy Fury. I'm Schnitzel
Von Crumb with a very low tongue. Your locations.
Welcome to the entrance to Butterland. In the
depths of the Belly Button Factory. In the quiet
little place of my mum's house. An interactive
fantasy comedy show. I had no idea what to expect
and I thought it was absolutely magnificent.
Cracks me up every time. You like Dungeons and
Dragons? Perfect. I haven't actually laughed
this hard in a very long time. But how well do
they slice with their teeth? How well do they
transform into a goat? Well, let's find out.
With a roll of the Dice of Fate, who would like
to roll it and find out? Chompy, throw it high.
Upsy -daisy. A six! Search SideQuest Show on
Instagram and TikTok. SideQuest Show. Choose
the adventure. Hey there, Pants people. Stephen
here. Just want to say real quick before the
episode, thank you for listening. Thank you for
hanging out with us. Thank you for being here.
We love you. Enjoy the episode. heroes, they
stand as symbols. Symbols that inspire the never
-ending fight against evil and suffering. And
there are few heroes that stand in this lie's
way as they knight the platinum rose. Now during
periods of great calamity or distress, this figure
is said to appear to see peace restored and justice
meted out through all our worlds. They say he
rides forth in a spectral steed, donning a white
cape and resplendent blade armor, including a
full helm that hides his identity. He wields
a civilly long sword and a shield emblazoned
with a figure of a noble dragon. He battles foes
with radiant light, and many attribute his power
to be a gift from a deific force such as Atash
or even the Sunweaver of Angkor and Sangar. Now,
what very few folks seem to know is the true
identity of this hero has seemingly been discovered
some time ago. While people all over are aware
of the Knight of the Platinum Rose, almost nobody's
aware of the humble hop farmer and brewer, Diamante
Cloudbreaker. He's a human man of middling years
who holds a solitary homestead in the world of
the mirror. He's no stranger to the city life
of the city, although, as he has a small brewery
right here in the lower trade discal. I've had
the pleasure of trying a few of his fine brews
in my friend Ada's establishment, namely Cloudbreaker
Judgment and the Volga Hopper. The latter of
which is said to be named for his hometown, though.
No such town name exists in our worlds as far
as our investigators can find out. So what events
caused this man to become a luminaire in secret?
So far, no motive has been uncovered. All we
know from interviews is that Diamante is a truly
somber soul. A quiet man that seems to hold a
lot behind his eyes. Y 'all now know that I have
faced true hardship and loss. And in my opinion,
the night of the platinum rose, this man named
Diamante is no stranger to this kind of pain
himself. If you're watching this, Diamante, I
don't mean to pry or make assumptions, but I
hope you too can find peace and forgiveness in
time. Thank you, Mike. Hell yeah. Let's go visit
Diamante. Hammer on the Discord if you know him
there, or as we know him. Mike, who works with
us at Reckless. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
He's the one that keeps giving the server a nice
boost. Oh, right, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we got
boosted. Yeah, thanks, Mike. This is actually
a lot of fun. This character, there's a lot unsaid
here because there's a lot Oren doesn't know
and a lot David does know. This actually is a
role we used to have a campaign at work. The
Repless campaign, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were doing
Shadow of the Dragon Queen and Diamante was the
paladin of the group. I knew I've heard that
name before. Owed by Paladine to like help. you
know, battle Lord Soth and bring peace, and basically
stop a second calamity, stop Tiamat, I forgot
her name in that setting, but Tiamat still, from
essentially overtaking the entire world post
the first calamity. And the campaign fell apart.
And kind of like the lore. As they so often do.
Yeah, kind of the lore we might kind of settle
on is, you know, that was the bad end. They failed.
Diamante failed. And so perhaps his story has
continued. Whist away by Paladine. Right here.
We've kind of touched on this in the live show,
but for particular reasons, only through the
acts of very powerful deities can the greater
multiverse touch on this version of the Radiant
Citadel. It's kind of disconnected from the greater
multiverse. But yeah. Was Demonte the one that
killed me in one fucking shot? He was! Yes! I
came in as a guest baddie for one night. I had
all these plans. It was awesome. Dude, I was
going to wipe so many people. And I almost did.
Oh my gosh. And then he comes in and like fucking
one shots me. It's even worse because it was
an AOL paladin crit. That's right. What? Yeah.
Oh God. Like an AOL paladin crit, like 50 slaying
damage. It was the dumbest shit. It was stupid.
It was stupid. Exploded. Oh, my God. I had Jeremy
come in as the main assassin. I remember, yeah.
And I had one other guy from the kitchen come
in, a man named Isaiah, and he was playing a
spider, a giant spider. Oh, yeah. It was kind
of just a fodder in the fight. We called it Spider
-Zayah. It was so funny because the big assassin
who was controlling all the spiders got killed
in one hit, like, super early in the fight. Jeremy
just pulled his thumbs. And then Spider -Zayah
almost wiped the party. True. D &D. The one spider
almost wipes everyone out. They're just like
attacking him. He's just biting them. He's just
rolling die like this. Oh, I do eight points
of damage and everyone's freaking out. Like,
no, no. Classic D &D. I miss that game. It's
a shame, you know. you know, games edit. It's
something that as a dungeon master, I had a really,
I had a hard time with at first. Now, I know
there's a lot of people who listen to the show
that are dungeon masters. They probably feel
the exact same way, but it's really hard to let
go of a game when you, you want to keep going.
You want to see it through its end. And that,
that first game that, that peers out, that dies,
you know, our first Frostmaiden game, the first
one we all played together, petered out. Our
candle game before we practiced with, before
we did this, petered out. I've gotten used to
it now. And honestly, it doesn't feel as bad
because it doesn't mean. It didn't happen. It
doesn't mean all those memories and good times
didn't happen. You know, it doesn't, it doesn't,
stories don't have to have endings to be meaningful.
To be fair, Candle Keep petered out because we
started Radiant Citadel. Yeah. Yeah. Which is
less good, but you know. And honestly, this has
been so, so much fun. And this one. Oh yeah.
This one's not going anywhere. This one's not
petering us. Don't you worry, pants people. This
story will have an ending. All the way to level
20. Please. Oh, goodness, no. Never. It's taken
us how many years to get to level seven? I don't...
In a few months, it will be three years. Yeah,
wow. Three fucking years. I don't think I ever
want to DM a level 20 party. Like two levels
a year? Yeah, pretty much. You're sick, David.
Speaking of levels... I hope you leveled up between
these last two sessions because your situation's
gotten real bad, real fast. No, we absolutely
didn't. Oh, you didn't? Fuck, you suck at this.
That's not good. Oh, wait. Yeah, no, I leveled
up a couple times, actually. You know who did
level up? We're level 10, right? Yeah. Give me
five minutes to update my sheet. You know who
did kind of level up is Chester because I finally
added misdirection to the sheet. It's done. Finally
added misdirection. And I actually got ahead
of the game. Akio already has his armor. So,
booyah. that's ahead of the game. I think that's
caught up with the game. Yeah. Shut up. That's
just what you should have normally done in this
real time. Ooh, scary scene. Ooh. You're not
plugged in, David. Damn it. It's in the same
spot. It's down below you. Where is it? It's
down below you. Just dangling there. Oh. Found
it. Hang on. No, we're good. Hang on. We're new
at this. Why is your wallet just on the table?
What do you want me to put on the floor? In your
pockets? Danny will eat it. What? I don't want
my phone in my pocket because it's too close
to the mic. If my phone's in one pocket, my wallet's...
If my phone's not in a pocket, my wallet's in
a pocket, then it's imbalanced. And that freaks
me out. So we're not doing that. Okay. So that's
why your phone's on... Or your wallet's on the
table. I apologize if Stephen is a psychopath.
I can't... Oh, yeah. There's music now. No, there's
not. It just cut out. What? Put that back on.
I didn't do anything. Shit, no, it wasn't you.
We're new at this. Forgive us. I have this on
a map. In case you wanted to see, but you stand
in a hallway about 25 feet ahead of you are the
forms of Ambassador Omid Pastar and Hyronix the
Diva Angel, his bodyguard. This hallway seems
surprisingly void of... sound or life apart from
that as if other guards have been ushered away
you feel like this palace has become a solitary
place a quiet place just for you as Ahmed makes
his declaration that he holds in his hand a writ
from the queen allowing him full judicial power
to to arrest you to take you into custody under
her authority and Atasha's in joint. I think
young Gi would be the first sort of step forward.
No, no, good ambassador. You are very much mistaken.
I disallow any action against my friends here.
They're only working to help our people. I can't
turn to look at you, Blanche. I should have seen
that sooner. I am afraid. Your words hold no
power here, Advisor Young Gi. Once I informed
the Queen that you were meeting with Blanche
in private, she was very clear. You are all to
be arrested. She gave Hieronyx and I full authority
to act alone in this endeavor. Young Gi, it may
be hard to understand this now, but we are quite
sure you are under the control of these ones'
dark magic. And until you are cured of this affliction,
you must be held in comfortable. Captivity, far
away from this vile scum. No, no, no, my niece
lies. Yes, yes, she has you fooled, good ambassador.
Jeanmy knows that these four are innocent of
any crimes. She only fears that the Dragon Clan's
crimes will be exposed. These four are heroes
that deserve our respect. We must not. Enough!
And you're right, he screams down a way like
the whole hallway echoes with his voice. Is this
something that's just broken? And Omid passed
Dar. And you won't be surprised to see the actual
tears begin to run down his cheeks. I weep for
you, young guy. A good man broken by their corruption.
I weep for those guards at the gate. Guards that
I pushed towards troubling this lot. I thought
these heathens would resist and be expelled from
the city, but I never thought those good soldiers
of Yanido would be killed. My fault. My oversight.
And through my following in action, the bodies
continue to pile. The good Magistrate Kunon June,
a man I thoroughly respected for his earnest
desire to hold to the law. Dead. Dead under your
supervision, he points to all of you. No more.
I will risk everything. My position as ambassador.
My very life to ensure the safety of the people
of Yanito. And see justice done. No more deaths.
I have played around with you long enough, scum.
Now, willing or not, you come with me. I think,
even with your passive insight, this seems to
be the real Ambassador Almond Pastar, his real
feelings, that sort of conniving, sly edge gone.
Just rage. Rage at injustice, rage at what he
perceives you to be. Monsters, what do you do?
Blanche chuckles a little bit. That was all very
flowery. I am, however, quite embarrassed for
you, Omed. And she reaches down to her shell
and she peels off some of the dried dirt and
mud on her shell to reveal a clean spot beneath.
What? Perhaps you didn't recognize without the
cucumbers over my eyes, but where I come from,
a common way of cleaning oneself is to cover
your shell in clay -rich soil. It absorbs the
oils and dirt and leaves one fresh and clean.
Holy shit. I will go with you to the queen. I
believe she would like to clear up this cultural
faux pas, which you have so foolishly stepped
in. I actually like that a lot. Not even a deception
check, I think, because you're right. It is canonical
that you guys take my best. The turtles take
my best. He is an ambassador. He should be aware
of other cultures and what they do. Even if he
is not like one. That goes to Noiri. I mean,
this... That's a cool move. Jules, what do you
think the new king of Zinda will have to say
about this? I don't know, Blanche. But I think
this guy's playing a little too hard with precedence
and decency. Go ahead and roll. This sounds more
like persuasion than deception, but you can choose.
What do you want to roll here? Well, for... Either
of you roll it. Oh. Did you unplug me or something?
No. Oh. Sorry, I sounded really quiet. You said
you'll let either of us roll? I'll let either
of you make the roll with advantage. Yeah. Okay.
Because you're both. I got plus 10. Yeah, I have
a plus zero for charisma. Except for Jeremy.
Either one of us, except for me. Except for Jeremy.
Shall we? Go ahead. 29. I rolled a 19 and a 17.
Oh, my gosh. And that's such a good move, too.
Gentlemen, I'm impressed. And you know what?
First things first. Never mind. I don't know
what the button jar is. New studio. No button
jar. No buttons for anybody. Sorry. I guess.
We have all the buttons there. Give me two buttons,
please. Whoa. Thank you. And now here's a button
for each of you. Yeah. All right. Yeah, buddy.
That is so fully earned. She points to one after
the other. Are you as dumb as he looks? I don't
know who's who. I don't know which one's funnier.
I'll take the ugly one. There's this whole thing,
Hyronix, again, just full deadpan stare. Like
there's just not a thought or emotion going through
that mind. But Ahmed looks deeply troubled as
you say this. He kind of bites his lower lip
and almost fits with his hand. As if he's, like,
like, like, like, his eyes that were before,
like, watering with tears, seem to, like, the
flow stops, the rage begins to leave his features.
Did he overreact? Is he overthinking this? He,
I, um, all right, yes, I suppose we should speak
to the queen. If I was hasty, I apologize. There
is a lot at stake, and... Luckily, while we're
all at dinner together, you can keep an eye on
us there. Yes. I suppose I can. Beans, like,
walk towards you. Heronics, slowly and step behind.
So then, I suppose we shall proceed together.
Would you mind if we... In the mist. God damn.
Now? Rolling in. Isn't it early? Or did we just
lose track of time? When you left the room, it
was very near six o 'clock. I think we were in
the last round of the game, like five minutes
close. It is just about on time. Criminy, criminy.
Did you say criminy, criminy? Yeah, I don't know.
I'm upset. No rolls this time. What? No damage.
What? Just blood. Fuck. What? Blood all over
you, Jules. Oh, goddammit. A spray of it all
over Chester beside you, who you have a protective
arm around. And the source of this blood is obvious.
Ambassador Almond's crumpled form lies just before
your feet. His throat has been brutally slashed
open. You see that the blood is still running
from the yawning wound, but the eyes above are
clearly void of life. The already gaunt man looks
practically mummified, dried out as all of his
life's essence has suddenly drained from his
body and onto your party and the palace floor.
Blanche, your arm is reaching unprotectively
toward Jules and Chester. Akio stands behind
you all, blatant mouth guarding the hall to the
rear. It seems, however, that there was no fight
for him. Ahead of you, though, maybe 15 feet
down the hall, stands Hyronix, the diva. He has
turned away from you multiple forms of crumbling
stone, turning to dust before him. And you realize
that he fought all of the assailants alone, and
yet looks practically unharmed. And so your own
states become explained. Blanche, your spellbook
is in hand. Do you read it? Yeah, she almost
reflexively now looks down to see if she's left
herself another note. So that's kind of a trick
question because you actually don't. Because
the page you've been writing on has been ripped
out and is gone. She looks to find Young Gi.
He stands behind you and behind Akio, between
the two of you. He is sort of, looks shaken.
And he just really sees, no, no. Ambassador,
no! Is there paper in anybody's hands? Not that
you see. Fuck. What? What? A voice down the hall,
trembling. UC Ironics has turned to see your
party. To see his fallen charge. No! No, no,
no, no! He comes moving up towards you. His eyes
showing plentiful emotion now, shimmering radiant
tears running down his cheeks. He reaches down
towards Omid, hands sort of shaking. And you
see, like, his shaking hands come together. His
head bows. And he sort of bursts this almost
dim light. There's this yellowing light filling
the space before you, and you can hear him speaking.
Atash! Your servant has died! Please! Let me
save him, please! Remove the binds! Remove the
oaths! Let me save him! A long breath, then.
I understand. Yes. I apologize. Then I will bring
you the perpetrators that saw him killed. His
eyes. Look to you. That light fades from him.
His hands move from this prayer, this communion.
If you are to face justice, then you may be killed
and resurrected. Surrender to me now, or you
will be faced with the unpleasantness of temporary
death. I'm going to rearrange the map now. brighter
note before we get to more bleak darkness and
all that uh if you look at our map you will find
that i have updated the chester and akio tokens
uh zilla has done some more art for us lately
and has updated chester with a sort of floral
shirt uh and akio going off of kevin's hero for
design she did an update on that so they're so
great i love seeing the growing sort of canonical
images like akio fully canonically is based on
this Hero Forge token that Kevin made and was,
like, sort of put into the same art style as
everybody else by Zealot. It's so cool. It's
so cool. Yeah, totally amazing. All right, now
let's kill you. Now, currently on this map, you
see, just before you all, we have Blanche, Jules,
Chester in a line at the sort of corner of this
hallway, the sort of elbow of the L, just behind
you. is Young Gi. Behind him is Akio. That's
his name. Yep, that's the name. I'm very tired.
Just before you all, before you, Blanche, you
see Ahmed Pastar is on the ground. Well, actually,
no, his bow is on Jules and Chester, so he'd
be one slot over. Just before you, Jules, Ahmed
Pastar is lying in a pool of spreading blood,
standing. His feet, just like the bloods were
flowing around his feet, is Hyronix, who has
turned from his deep sorrow at being unable to
save the already past Omed to just a pure rage
at those who he believes killed him. Down the
hallway away, as you can see, just like dust
where he had fought foes, but there is no dust
near you, other you notice. Oh, yeah, okay, sure.
Yeah, so what the hell did happen? Where's the
page? Yeah. You were so close to writing this
whole thing down, to figuring this out, and now
the page is gone. Last time you were interrupted
by writing the letters K -U -N. A message to
yourself. Did you leave yourself a message now?
Yeah. Does the wound on Omid look like the scratches
that we saw in the stone walls and other places?
At a bare glance, yeah. It looks like a... simple
slashing wound, I mean, but you could take your
time to investigate. It's going to require you
to figure out what to do about the more immediate
threat. Yeah, I'm not sure that there's really
anything that we can do to appease this guy,
but Blanche is going to try. She's got, she's
putting her hands up. She's, Hyronix, this has
happened before, you know, today. You know that
there has been blood all over the city. You know
we couldn't have possibly. This is not our doing.
You know that. You know you could take me. So
if it was me, then why am I not dead right now
too? Because I was fighting to protect you. When
it ended, I was standing over stone forms. Forms
I fought. I must have fought for you. And yes,
it has happened before. At the gate where you
stood. In the Tiger District where you stood.
In the Phoenix District where you stood. And
here, where you stand now, bodies every time.
And each time it happened other places in the
city. You could talk Omid down with your lies.
The good ambassador was a wise man, but a caring
one. He did not wish to offend. But I don't care
if I offend you. I don't care if I kill you.
Look at our weapons. And Jules will unsheath.
He'll nudge over to Chester. Oh, perfect. He'll
nudge over to Chester. Take out all your shit.
Yeah. All right, let's do it. Blanche pulls her
swords out to show there's no blood on it. You
see blood on anything. Akio's all like... And
drops his sword. Chester pulls out his bow, his
crossbow, all that. You guys pull out your weapons.
No blood. Use your martial mind. Chester pulls
out his dagger. This is happening to us just
as much as it's happening to you. And it is covered
in blood. Fuck! Roll a charisma saving throw,
David. Okay. You're not going to like this. No,
I bet I'm not because that's... It's a 21. Yeah,
okay. So that doesn't do anything. Great. I just
wasted my fourth level spell slot. Oh, no. What
were you doing? Banishment. Oh. Fuck. Fucking
hell. If only you thought to use those buttons
I gave you a minute ago. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yeah.
If only. You try casting a spell. Mm -hmm. You...
What's banishment look like as you cast this
thing? Hold on. I... Oh, no, you got to tell
me what this looks like. There's no holding on
now. You have fired the first shot, sir. I'm
not saying, hold on, let me back up. I'm saying,
hold on, let me collect my thoughts because this
just went from bad to worse to way worse. I think
she, okay. So Blanche tries to like Thanos snap
him. It just doesn't work. You see. Like his
form, he has a fuzz for a second. His hands,
like, you see he just flexes. A light burst from
his form, your spell fades and fizzles. And he
draws his mace. Yeah, we're just going to have
to kill this guy. To strike. Okay, well, while
this is happening, after Jules realizes that.
Jules, no, no, I didn't do it. I don't know what
this is. That once he realizes that banishment
has failed. He's going to reach over, touch Chester,
and make him invisible. Chester vanishes. You
want to roll for initiative? I mean, no, but...
Let's roll for initiative. God. Not great. Jules
is a 17. 11 for Blanche. Ooh. 21 for Akio. Chester
is a six. Is it 11 for Blanche? Yep. And Jules,
what was yours again? 16. No, it was 17. Sorry.
Oh, shit. Let's explain this scene. I'm so unhappy.
Right now in this hallway, you are faced with
a figure that is not only very powerful from
what you've gathered, but is an arbiter of law.
Hmm. This is serious. Covered in blood, sitting
in a pool of it. A drop from Omid's hands is
a scroll bearing the queen symbol. Oh, right.
Calling your arrest. Yeah. Fuck. And you, if
you kill this figure, will certainly have perpetrated
the crime. What happened to Omid? You have an
idea now. You can't say for sure what went down
during that short time in the fog, but... You
have an idea as you look at the bloody dagger
in Chester's hand. Before he vanished, you just
look down at it in some kind of, I guess, like
mild surprise. And he was gone. I don't know
what to do. Do we fight this? Do we fight this
fight? So let's think about what happens if we
win this fight. Nothing good. Right, exactly.
Then we still have to prove that we didn't kill
Omid. Which I'm guessing... I don't know. I'm
guessing that Omid did some sort of bullshit.
He tore the page out and he's got it in his pocket
or something like that. That's why I wanted to
try to get time to just delete Hieronics for
a minute and be able to go through and solve
this. I don't know if I have anything else to...
The only thing that... I don't want to say what
I want to do. I don't know what initiative is.
What initiative is first? First up will be Akio.
I'll tell you right now. It's Akio, then Jules.
Okay, cool. I might be able to buy us time if
I can blind him. Okay. That way, at least while
he's blind, he can reach down. Sure. And look
for the page. Okay. Or look for something that
would help. Yeah, let's roll with it. Let's roll
with it. Let's try to stall. I'll tell you right
now, too, I do also have a chase map planned
in case you feel like running. He looks fast,
though. You can see those wings unfurl, and they're
big, badass wings. Either way, you're dealing
with an uphill battle, a cliff of a battle. I've
got the sending, Sturge. Sturge, man, help us.
All right, sure. Let's see how this battle plays
out, I guess. I don't know. Let's see if we can
slow him down enough to get to Omid and try to
get... So Blanche will say out loud as she's
putting her spellbook down. She'll say, there's
a page missing from my spellbook. I think I might
have wrote something in it, but it's not here
anymore. If we can find that page, Chester, wink,
wink. Oh, yeah, he's invisible. Oh, it's Akio,
right? It's Akio, yeah. You hear Chester kind
of like, yeah, all right. Shut up, Chester. Gosh,
now I... Oh, how about this? Can Akio use his
keen hearing and smell to try and locate where
the missing spellbook page is? Ooh. That's interesting.
Isn't it just? I have to imagine the ink you
use is somewhat inscripted or something. The
book, she carries it around. Imagine an old book
that probably has a certain smell. You know what?
It's definitely at least got Blanche's smell
on it. Right, exactly. I'll let you roll on that.
Okay, and I'm going to use a button for this.
Wait a minute. No, I'm not, because I already
have advantage. But will this button give me
plus two on top of the advantage? Plus two on
top of it. Okay, that sounds like a good use
of a button. This might be a tricky one, so it
might be a good thing. Yeah, let's see. Yeah,
especially because our dog doesn't have a super
high wisdom score. First roll was a natural one.
Oh, no. Ooh, second roll is a dirty 21. Yeah,
21. 21. Okay. Was it like a 19 before the plus
two? It was an 18 before the plus three. He's
actually got a plus one wisdom. Ooh, nice. You
need to spend that button to get this. Oh, that's
pretty cool. He sniffs and it's so hard. The
scent of blood is everywhere. The book is so
close to you and it's such a faint scent to get
like that old other book in the midst of all
this blood. It's so hard. There's so much blood
everywhere. So many smells and that faint smell,
that page, so hard to pick up. But as Akio realizes
how bad the situation is, looks to Hyronix, who
is very slowly stepping over the body of Ahmed
very carefully, almost like reverently moving
around his fallen charge and moving up towards
you, Blanche, and you, Jules, weapon in hand,
and a fierce strength to the way he holds it.
Akio closes his eyes and sniffs with everything
he has. it's like it's like matrix vision like
you can see through akio's like scent mind and
like the the whole room is black but there's
like scent waves that are like made up of ones
and zeros i i love this too because he's looking
at the scent waves that make up four figures
in front of him young geese beside who he moves
past he moves up behind you blanche behind you
jewels and presses his nose to the invisible
form of Chester towards his pocket. Whoa, hey,
what? Fuck. Shut up and drop it, Chester. Can
Akio grab it? Do you want me to grab it? Yeah.
You hear a pocket tear, and I think as it drops
away from the invisible form, you see a crumpled
piece of paper roll, just splash into the blood
at Chester's feet. Is it a counterattack? No.
All right, fine. I can't imagine that Chester
would become un -invisible. I just meant for
him to pull it out of his pocket. If he wasn't
going to pull it out, Chester was going to drop
it anyway. Sure, yeah. Akio picks up the crumpled
ball. Yeah, boy. This is all happening very fast.
He just rips it open, grabs the ball, slides
it over into your hand, Blanche. That's his turn.
Yes. Okay. Unless he has any actions left. I
don't know how we want to... Seek check is an
action. Okay. So you'd have bonus action at this
point. Okay, so I'm not going to take any. Okay.
The cool thing with him now is because of his
armor, he has a lot of reactions. So there's
a lot of fun reactionary things he can do. Jules.
Jules is going to reach into the invisible air,
grab Chester, and throw him behind us. Okay.
rolls behind you can hear him i don't have control
of chester so you're gonna have to put him there
okay and should jules just pick it up yeah you
can just grab it out of her hand i guess right
yeah jules is gonna pick up pick up the paper
and open it up in the heat of combat i will say
the whole of everything that you're reading you
probably don't see all of it um you don't see
jules Jules is a known practiced speed reader.
We haven't gone over this part of the lore yet,
but... Oh, I forgot about this. In Tithos, yeah,
as a child, he... I was required to learn all
the ancient texts. Participated in speed reading
competitions. In two hours. Yes. You don't see
the continuation of the words spoken. You don't
have time to fully read this entire page. But
you see the obvious part. Down below where it
says Cun, where your upper notes were sort of
stopped, and you wrote this one letter to yourself,
this note of emergency to yourself, you see another
note that just says Chester. Huh. Huh. You realize
also in this moment that when he was looking
for his weapon, he would have reached into his
pocket and felt that, and he didn't say a word.
Maybe it's not Chester. Or is Chester a loose
cannon? I don't know. But. I love. Are you saying
that Blanche ripped it and shoved it into Chester's
pocket? I think the insinuation is that Chester
probably tore it out because it's incriminating
against him. That seems like a solid assumption.
You don't know because you can't remember. Fuck.
Okay, well. Do I get to hit you now or? No. Okay.
So, you know, he's still walking. He's slowly,
doom, doom. Jules is going to cast blindness,
deafness. Ooh, you just read that note, realize
how bad the situation is. How bad it looks. How
bad it looks. How bad it looks. And you just
turn towards the figure. Resist and die. And
he will come at you and you, what's it look like?
Just like that. Damn, that's cool. Shit. It looks
like. It looks like. I imagine like your hand
goes up. You got to do a con save though. Black
sword smog around the eyes. I think we've done
it before. Con save. Oh, well, that's. Yeah,
that's not going to go well. Actually, not the
biggest thing. Oh, I missed up earlier on. I
didn't roll a 21. I rolled a 26. I'm sorry. It's
your charisma save. Oh, damn. Stand by. I'm trying
to decide whether I want to use two buttons for
this or not. I don't know if it's important enough.
I think it is. I feel like it is. I'm not going
to tell you how to spend your buttons. Fuck.
Tell me how to spend my buttons, Steven. No.
God damn it. Two buttons for disadvantage. Oh!
Personally, I think it's that important. Yeah.
So, I think it's a good move. Okay. He's going
to pass it anyway. I just know it. It's very
tweener. Oh. The first one would have passed
absolutely the second one. I'm going to roll
them both at the same time. God damn it. It's
15. God damn it. Oh, so close. So close. Again,
this blackness and his eyes burst to light. Shimmering
tears drive away your darkness. Okay. Son of
a bitch. Son of a bitch. Nobody has bardic, right?
Right now? I don't think so. Bardic Inspiration
onto Blanche. Yay. This feels like the most evil
thing that's happened in so long. It's an impossible
situation. What do you do? I don't know. I'm
running low on spell slots. We both had the perfect
move in hand for this, and both of the saves
failed. Okay, so after that, Jules is going to
move behind Blanche. Honestly, though? Good move.
He's not close enough for an AOL, right? Not
yet, no. Perfect. Yeah, he's good. Jules is going
to move behind Akio. Oh, I big talk him walking
towards this whole time. He's actually in the
same spot because that's how D &D battle works.
He's real slowly walking. Protect Yungi. Oh,
don't worry. I have no reason to attack Yungi.
You, however, Blanche. Oh, Jules has the paper
with him, too. He shoved it in his pocket. Oh,
you know what I didn't do? Like a dummy dum -dum
-dum? Oh, wait. I didn't bonus action Bladesong.
Fuck. Hold on. Standby. I think I just fucked
us. Okay, never mind. I was looking at invisibility.
The spell ends when the target attacks or casts
a spell. Okay. I just had to make sure that it
wasn't if the caster has another spell. I had
the same thought earlier with the pocket. That's
when I was like, wait, does that? It doesn't
matter. And then, yeah, blindness, deafness is
not concentration, so it didn't break it from
the invisibility. Cool. All right, we're good.
All right. No wedgie. No wedgie. Blanche, I'm
about to give you a wedgie. Yeah, thanks. With
my mace. He finally just slides up to you, sees
that you have no intention to. Stop. You have
cast two spells now that have failed. And so
Hieronyx will use all extent of his power to
see his righteous judgment meted out. Here we
go. That is an 18 to hit. Are you going to do
damage one at a time or are you going to do the
hits first? I'll do damage one at a time. Okay.
Then... I guess it doesn't matter. I'm just going
to react and use shield. Okay. So it's a miss.
And also shield lasts, so you want to do it the
first time. Oh, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right. Okay, with that, it's going
to be pretty hard for me to hit you. That gets
me. He comes down at you hard and smashes your
shield. You can feel force, not just from the
force of his strength, but like a radiant light
bursts out sort of around the shield that you're
holding in front of him. The whole hallway just...
bursts into radiance, and he comes down with
another strike, which is a 19 to hit. It will
not break that shield. Holy shit. That would
have been so bad. Yeah. If you hadn't used shield.
Yeah, I forget every time that it lasts until
the end of the round there. And that is all I'm
going to do. And that's you, Blanche. Okay. Blanche
is... Bibbidi -bobbidi -boo. How about a wisdom
saving throw, David? Okay. Wisdom save. Just
fail it, please. Just fail it. I'm sorry, that
is a 28. 28. Okay, so slow fails. A 28? No, sorry,
27. My bad. Okay. But that's way different. Okay,
yeah, so that means his wisdom is at least a
plus seven. This isn't the final boss yet. What
the fuck? Of the arc. Again, you try this. You
have another burst of light. You just can't get
through this rage. You can't get through this
rage. Okay, she will bonus action go into Bladesong.
Whistle sound. Oh, it's so cool. There it is.
Akio. Yes, Master Blanche. Roof. What do we do?
I have literally no idea, but I guess stay close.
Master Yungi, I suppose you should see a way
out of this situation. No, no. I will not leave
you to fight alone. I cannot leave you here.
Not like this. Fetch the gods. Let them know
of this misunderstanding. Gods, gods, gods. He
does. He actually is going to move. He's going
to move past the diva who he knows will not strike
him. He has royalty after all. And Hyronix lets
him run by. He's moving towards the queen. And
you see this old form. is running with a speed
that it's going to hurt him later a lot. You
hear bones like creaking. Oh, God. You have to
be an asshole even to Yungi. Yeah, I do. I do.
He like trips and falls at one point, stumbles
and gets back up. No, no. And he's running down
the hall as fast as he possibly can. But will
he be fast enough? It's not your turn, Blanche.
Yeah, she's, um... Jules, I'll give you a head
start. Get Chester out of here. What? Holy shit.
Blanche is, like, untouchable, man. Yeah? I think
if we're gonna run, she's at least gonna give
Jules a head start. Damn. Damn. And then with
Akio next to her, like, it's even more untouchable.
Okay. So my plan, Blanche's plan, is to give
you like two or three rounds to get ahead of
us and then follow. Okay. All right. And that's
Chester. Jules, I didn't. It's not. It's a lie,
all right? Come on. Run. All right, yeah. Let's
go. He's just going to run. Chester books it
down the hall. If this turns into a chase. For
every round you are ahead, I will give you a
round off the chase. You'll be that much closer
to, like, done with it. Okay. Essentially, you'll
probably be out of the chase as you move. Sure.
You will have a different objective to clear,
though, as you get closer. First question, and
we'll get to this in a minute. I'll have to ask
you where you're running to. But again, we don't
need to get to that right now. Chester runs down
the hall. Vanishes. Already gone, actually. Visible.
You hear the steps as he moves. And that's Akio.
Um, gosh. Sorry, I wasn't prepared. Give me like
two seconds. You guys seem rattled for some reason.
Do you feel rattled? Yeah, a little bit. I'm
sorry, are you talking, David? How can you attack
me with a cute chihuahua in my arms? She's so
cute. Oh my god. Oh, yeah, for our listeners,
we have new dogs on the podcast. Yes, yes. Pondogs.
The other bark you've been hearing tonight is
Opal, a little cute as hell chihuahua. Truly
smaller than a cat. We have Danny in the studio
as well, and we also have Jasper just taking
a nap over there. Let me put that blanket over
Jasper again. Hang on. Oh, yeah. So Blanche is
going to instruct Akio to take the dodge action.
Oh, all right. I imagine he stands up beside
you. No, I think he's fine back there because
he's still within five feet of Blanche to be
able to do his reaction stuff. That's so cool.
Okay, yeah. All right. He goes into a stance.
What do you say to him? Give me a cool line here.
He's going to go into a combat stance, one that
Ozen would have taught him to sort of predict
and outmaneuver enemy attacks. Akio. Raise a
shell. Yes, master Blanche. Legs go wide. He
kind of drops down and his head low, sword out.
And almost like curved just in front of his left
paw in a sort of counter position. You ever step
on one of those at the beach? Those real long,
almost like a banana. What? They hurt a lot.
Never mind. All right, that's Akio's turn. Yes,
that's it for Kyo. That's you, Jules. Yeah, Jules
is going to run, but as he runs, he's going to
go for Blindness Deafness again. Oh, shit. That
would be nice. If this hits, seriously, it's
going to change the game. All right. Yeah, but
this guy is like, he's got stats to the max.
This is Khan, though, right? Yeah, it's Khan.
This is actually the best move you've been using.
No, this is the good one. I think Wisdom is the
highest. Well, you got 27 on a wisdom save. Well,
right. Sure. Damn it. Fuck. 19. God damn it.
I keep rolling so high. Atash, damn it. Atash,
damn it. Ah, fuck. That's all right. Fuck. Try
again. Eyes burst to light. Fog. The dark clouds
to piers. All right. He's going to use his last
bardic then to cast it onto Akio. Oh, nice. Oh,
so it's both Blanche and Akio glowing with these
golden modes of energy. Oh, that's so cool. Can
you run? Yeah. Jules, following the vanishing
steps of Chester ahead, begins to book it down
the hall, cloak billowing behind red walls. You've
got that same pattern of a long serpentine body
sort of moving beside you as you run, run, run,
feet pounding on wooden floors. Far behind you,
Blanche and Akio make their stand. And that's
me. That's going to be a miss. And a miss. I'll
play though. I do a high attack. I've just been
rolling really bad on my actual attacks. Right,
on everything but saves. Everything, all my saves,
I've been rolling crazy. My attacks have been
really meh. So, Agi comes flying in. Wham! Wham!
Tries a strike. in both ways. And remember, if
you want to use Protector with Akia, you've got
to do it before I roll. Not after. Right? No,
he's got something listed under reactions. Yeah,
it's a reaction. When I go to attack, you can
impose disadvantage. The psychic will use its
reaction to impose disadvantage on the attack
roll. A creature within five feet is targeted.
So if I hit, it's too late to actually use that.
So you might want to consider just using it on
one of my attacks. Oh, on the attack roll. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, that's fine. Which, I mean, you're
fine anyway. Just put it out there for future
rounds. He goes to slam at you, Blanche, and
with blade sound active, you weave dexterously
around. Like your katana scraping the edge of
his mace. It kind of flies from side to side,
again, to make these, you know. Bursts of holy
light. You can feel a heat coming off them. It's
a wave of force. But that's all he's going to
do, I think, right? No, you know what? He's going
to move between you and Akio. Once again, very
carefully stepping over Ahmed's body to stand
between the two of you. And that is my turn.
Again, I think that rage is starting to fade
from the face. And you see that very cold, emotionless
stare. looking right through you, deep into your
soul, deep into your sins. That's Blanche. Okay,
so Blanche is, you know, standing there with
her guard up. Akio, follow Jules. What? What?
No! I'll be right behind you. I... I... Master
Blanche, are you sure? That's a command. He kind
of looks like... He used to swallow that one.
It almost hurts. And he nods. And Blanche is
also going to take the dodge action. She's going
to move around. She'll move around the long way
to get on the other side of Hyronix. What makes
you think this is our responsibility? It could
have been anybody. There's something... There's
something going on here, and I... Why us? Why
are you so set on us causing this? You stand
by the side of the one chosen by Zalmati Shab.
You think we don't know? I know. I felt his darkness.
His vile stink fills this palace. I wanted to
strike at you sooner than Omid. He told me, no,
we need evidence. I don't care about evidence
anymore. Okay, yeah, I can see how that's a little
damning in his eyes. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Uh, that
is Akio. Akio's gonna withdraw and disengage,
sorry. I will take. No, he's gonna disengage.
Oh, right, okay. Yeah. I don't care. Gonna do
it anyways. He just, he moves like, just out
of range, sort of, as he goes to swing at Akio,
he dives out of range, still kind of in that
same stance, weaving the blade around, parrying
his attack as he disengages. As he slides out
of the way, Blanche, he looks at you one last
time. You see his eyes are shimmering. Blanche
winks at him. And he takes off down the hall.
And you are alone. against this figure figure
what are you gonna do blanche dodge action but
for how long can you hold out probably a while
this might be the worst radio we've ever done
yeah yeah well This is Steven's plan. If I make
the fight unlistenable, David will skip it. David
will have to do something different. You're probably
right. My plan now is for one or two rounds.
I was going to try to talk to Hyronix, but I
can tell that that's not going to get anywhere.
Yeah, you're getting that feeling. Yeah. Okay.
So do you want to, like, I don't know, fast forward
two rounds? No, I'm going to hit you. Okay, try
it. Burn spell slots at least. Here I come. No,
you're not going to burn spell slots. Hey, 27
to hit. Wait, yeah, but dodge action, so I get
advantage. Can I go? Well, you guys, I was going
to bet you guys, because you're currently just
full running, right? Yeah, but Jules' speed is
only 30 feet. You just moved closer to Jules.
I'm in range of a spell. No, when you moved,
I assumed you went full running, which would
be 60 feet. I had already used actions. Oh, you
had? Okay. Yeah, Jules is going to cast Blindness
Deafness again. Okay, all right. Oh, shit. Fucking
hell. Okay, all right. Yeah. Let's do this thing.
Yeah, let's do it. God damn it. I'm rolling so
high on these saves. What the hell? It's a non
-natural twine. Come on. I'm sorry. Come on.
I'd love for one of these to land. All right,
well, that's it then. That was my last shot for
that. I mean, Jules tries one more blast. It's
like... Thank you. Thank you, Jules. It's almost
like this figure's... sort of innate holy energy
is just completely countering your spells. It's
not technically what's happening, but the dice
are telling the story that you cannot touch this
radiant figure. It is almost your antithesis,
Jules. It is your counter in this universe. Also,
I didn't mean to sound like an asshole there.
I was just waiting for that turn. I was waiting
for that, that whole time. I wrote you off. I
was like, Jules is gone. No, hell yeah, you're
right, you're right. Does anybody else want to
go, or are you guys full running now? We're full
running now. There's no point in trying anything
with Jester. There will be something to do when
you... I guess depending on where you're going.
Cool. Okay. Let me attack. Take my second attack.
What was the first one again? You still have
to roll disadvantage on the first one. Oh, yeah.
Because I took the dodge action. That I missed.
Yeah. You jerk. I keep feeling so good and then
real bad. That's another 18. It's not going to
make it, right? Oh, 18 would, though. No, it
wouldn't. 18? Who do you think you're talking
to? All right. You know what? I'm the asshole.
You got me. Screw me. You see he's getting flustered.
He's swinging at you. Holy shit. I'm going to
do one more round of dodge action. Okay. Then
it's going to be me. We come around again to
me, to Hyronix. You, once again, take that same
position. What does your dodge action pose look
like? Her legs are spread wide, and she's in
a deep crouch with her blade held in front of
her. I just love it. Yeah, you're weaving side
to side, winging her as it attacks, countering.
He raises his weapon again to strike down. I
want to know where you're going, Jules. Where's
your group heading? You're not far. Even just
to find guards or something, you know what I
mean? Just to stop the fight was my sort of guess.
Unless Jules has other plans. You got a smirk
on your face. What are you cooking over there?
I want to go to Cholet. Oh, we're going to Mama's
house. Yeah. We're going to Mama's house. Yeah.
Oh, shit. We're going to Sholay. We're going
to Sholay. You are heading towards a banquet
hall. But you've done a full tour of this palace
when you're leading Hyronix around. You know
of a sort of side hallway from where you are
going now that can lead you kind of around to
that, what's it, the western wing ballroom where
Sholay is essentially taken to herself. Okay.
He'll take some time to get there. A few more
rounds. You have a direction now and you are
running. You're moving aside Chester, side of
Keo. You sort of spin around a corner and you
see a number of guards up ahead that look at
you and lower their spears as you run back to
the fight. I'm going to strike you now, Blanche.
Okie dokie. This time, I got you. 23 to hit.
Even with disadvantage? Yep. Okay, I'll cast
shield. You son of a bitch. Okay, here I go again.
Never mind, it's natural two. Okay. Smashes down
at you again. He like steps back with a natural
two just for flavor and like steps onto Ahmed's
leg like a crack. And he just looks down and
begins to visibly shake. Oh, no, no! That's you,
Blanche. Real quick, we skipped over it real
fast when you said about the guards put down
their weapons. As we're running by, Jules screams,
Hyronix, back there! He's going fucking crazy!
Hell yeah. You say this, your words sort of echoing
out down the hall. The guards at first. Don't
seem to break their stance as you run towards
them. Run towards her lowered spears. Blanche.
As a bonus action, Blanche is going to cast Expeditious
Retreat. Oh, shit. What does that do? So it allows
me to, as a bonus action, take the dash action.
Okay. So then for her action, she will disengage
and start running. Nice. That's amazing. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. That's why I did it. Somewhere
way ahead down the hall, perhaps you hear Jules
yelling his call, echoing back towards you down
this hallway, and you hit the ground running.
You are, boom, blasting the world, zooming around
you as you follow your allies. As you move, you
hear the maze canal one last time crash on the
floor behind you. You hear a scream. And we see
Hyronix on his turn. His great wings unfurl.
His feet rise from the floor. And he blasts down
the hallway at incredible speed, hunting you
down for good. And we'll call it there.