WEBVTT

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Boobies! Now I have your attention. The Three

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Little Pigs podcast wants to ask you three very

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important questions. Do you like true crime stories

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and awful historic moments? Do you like cults

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and conspiracy theories? Do you like random as

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shit topics that generally have no connecting

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theme between them? Well, the Three Little Pigs

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podcast is for you then. Find them wherever you

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get your podcasts normally. Goodbye. Hey, pants

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people. Just want to say thank you for listening

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and thank you for your friendship. Check out

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the Discord. The infamous group of villains in

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our public spotlight. The Snake Eaters. Now I

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think everyone is aware of this notorious organization

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of poachers. Determined to hunt or tame beasts

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from all habitats and all worlds. And all levels

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of sapiens. They hold a mastery of the natural

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world. Absolutely no respect for it. Willing

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to bend and break the natural order in pursuit

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of money and power. What do they know of the

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Snake Eaters? We know the group is old. Much

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older than the founding of the Radiant City.

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Or the Gemstone Conqueror 250 years ago. They

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originated in the world of Moor and spread out

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like a wildfire from there. And, uh, unfortunately,

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that's really mostly it. We all have snake ears

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of a number of heads, but the identity of these

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leaders is a mystery. The only one of major note,

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Guy Safari, the criminal culinarian, was killed

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less than a month ago by Luminary and then wrapped

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in some, uh, assistance of little note. Which

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leads me to one last solid factoid about this

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group. The Snake Eaters are vengeful. They treat

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their upper -ranked members like a tight -knit

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pack or go to great lengths to get even for their

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losses. And, well, their advantage is known to

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be bloody and feral. Would be pretty, pretty

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stupid to cross these guys, huh? I'd be a couple

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of real bozos to cross these guys. Welcome, everybody,

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to our second -ever Fantasy Pants Live. This

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is a standalone but canonical adventure in the

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main setting for our podcast. We're going to

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be recording two episodes with a brief 10 -minute

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pee break in between. As far as content warning

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goes, we're not planning to get overly gross

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here. We should probably expect some violent

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descriptions and a good bit of swearing. We cannot

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help it, I promise. We'll also be using buttons

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to let you folks help whoever you decide is worthy

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of your support. One of these bad boys right

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here can grant advantage on a roll. Two can grant

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the enemy disadvantage. And three can bring someone

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back with one HP on a death save. Pretty big

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deal. These little guys are actually under some

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of your chairs out there. I think there's eight

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hanging around. So if you're under a chair, you

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may find a big orange button just hanging out

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down there. You can deliver it to the table here

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during the show and place it in front of whomever

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you think has earned a little love. Make them

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work for it. Make us work for it. Because don't

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forget that their malevolent dungeon master can

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take your buttons as well to give them a really,

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really bad time. Don't sleep on that. Yeah, if

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you reach straight down the middle between your

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legs, you should feel it there if there is one.

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Steve! If there's an empty seat next to you,

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check there too. Now before we get started here,

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let me introduce our crew. He's a big lovable

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goof and the source of that smelly smell that's

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been bothering you all since last night. It's

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Steven Rodriguez! Hey! Steven, you excited tonight?

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Yes, I'm Steven. I'm playing Blanche Trudeau,

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a war turtle wizard, and I'm regretting most

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of the spells that I picked today. I love to

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hear that. And now I know this isn't a horror

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show, but we still managed to book the Slender

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Man. It's Jeremy Wolf! He's tall. I'm Jeremy.

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I'm playing a human bard named Jules LaRoche.

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And I, too, am a little scared because I rely

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very much on Steven and his character to be our

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squishy tank. Well, luckily for you, we have

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a special guest tonight, the cartographer cleric

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in both game and life, who has a nasty little

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habit of bringing miracles into our stories all

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the time. It's Rochelle Thompson. Rochelle, how's

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it going? Hey, good, good, good. Glad to be here

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again. Oh, and I am David Monroe, the poor bastard's

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dungeon master for this adventure. I also need

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to thank a few people that have made this incredible

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situation possible. First, thank you, Burke Mountain

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Hotel, and thank you, Mountain Mania, and thank

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you, Siobhan and Farron. We really can't understate

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how much we appreciate what you've done here.

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It's unbelievable. I also want to thank Reckless

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Brewing Company, our gracious sponsors, who incidentally

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have the best food and beer in New Hampshire.

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Check them out. Bethlehem, New Hampshire. They

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let us borrow this entire crazy TV situation

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here. And thank you, Austin, who came all the

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way out here to record a video of the show so

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we can... Put it online. Knuckleheads, don't

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screw that up. So that's fantastic. Thank you,

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thank you. This terrain we're using tonight was

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lovingly built by a good buddy, Patrick. It is

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unbelievable. If you were just listening, then

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find us online somewhere. Probably YouTube. I

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don't know. So you can look at this glorious

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son of a bitch in all of its majesty. And don't

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just stop with the terrain. Take a long look

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at our amazing minis, almost all of which came

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from Danny Pirate Studios. Look at the paint

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job. Look at this guy. It's crazy. Get online.

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Find it. It's nuts. We're giving away a bunch

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of these minis actually at a raffle at show's

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end, so stick around for that. We're giving three

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different packs to these guys. And on the note

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of raffle prizes, I want to thank Black Bear

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Workshop, Stagmoon Studio, and Grey Duck Dice.

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If you have a winning ticket, you are going to

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love the dice sets and the tray that they have

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brought tonight. And if you don't have a ticket,

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please, please go check them out. Go buy some

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stuff. It's really cool. We have some Stagmoon

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dice we've been using for a while, and they are

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fantastic, so get out there. Now, without further

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ado... Let's get into it. I'm gonna hit that

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Fantasy Plus. We open on the snow -covered summit

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of a mountain. Wait, it didn't actually load.

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Hang on. It's not playing, David. Fantasy Plus,

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how are you? It's not me this time. Here we go.

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We open on the snow -covered summit. Of a mountain.

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Dramatic bird's eye view camera slowly spinning

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around. It's awesome. This mountain, we might

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note, does not stand in any solitary or singular

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way. It is, in fact, surrounded by many more,

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far more majestic peaks. This place seems a point

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of intersection where crisscrossing mountain

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ranges meet and carry on until it stands lost

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to both ground and sky with no civilization anywhere

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in sight. But upon closer inspection, one may

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find some clue to the true importance of this

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place. The peak is decorated by old ruins battered

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by millennia, yet mostly standing as they had

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long ago, dwarven stonecraft to be sure. The

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structures are shaped from the same dark granite

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that they stand upon, looking like a true extension

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of the barren rock beneath. We look upon these

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ruins, upon the craggy steep cliffs that border

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the mountaintop, upon the heavily forested slopes

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that bleed and twist up and up to it all. We

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look and we take in the sounds of howling wind

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above and the whispering and creaking of branches

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below. A sudden sound shatters this tranquility.

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The deep and sonorous sound of a horn. A single

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long... It seems to shake the very mountain in

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its entirety. But if the oppressive noise we

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see fresh snow sliding down empty slopes and

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falling heavily from the branches of trees. As

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this horn echoes towards our mental screen, and

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as the bass in our theater is going hog wild,

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a title card appears. Fantasy Pants Live, Become

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the Hunted. As those big, cool words vanish,

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we focus down on a spot in the pine forest, maybe

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half a mile from the mountain's summit. Here,

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the disturbed snow swirls about, glinting bright

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in the broken beams of sun, near blinding. And

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amidst this, another more supernatural flash

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of light. Suddenly, a figure appears, stumbling

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in the middle of this frosty forest, one that

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clearly does not belong in this setting. We see

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a young, strong turtle, a humanoid turtle man

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for those uninitiated, with vibrant green scales

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mauled with specks of yellow. He is almost entirely

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naked, apart from a towel wrapped awkwardly around

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his waist and lower shell, and a pair of cucumber

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slices laying over his eyes. There's a thin layer

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of silvery mud covering over his lower body,

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swiftly freezing in the cool mountain air. He

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steadies himself and shrieks out, What? The turtle

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shakes his head and the two cucumber slices fall

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away, revealing bright blue eyes wide and darting.

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What? He folds his arms and tucks in his shoulders.

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A brisk breeze cuts through him and slowly he

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takes a step forward. What do I do? We watch

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the turtle begins to move through the trees,

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his bare feet crunching softly on the snow. What

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do I do? Are you here? The snow around his right

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foot bursts apart as a rope snare tightens around

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his ankle, and instantly the turtle is thrown

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to the ground and lifted by the snare, suspended

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upside down, hanging from a thick branch above.

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He just stares, dumbfounded, swaying slowly side

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to side, his head five feet off the ground. The

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towel around his waist shifts, then uncoils,

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then falls free, dropping into the snow, and

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the turtle's eyes widen and follow it as it settles

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below. What?! And on this image, the hanging

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totem's feature is locked in complete outrage.

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We freeze frame. And we hear a voiceover. I suppose

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you're wondering how I got into this situation.

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Well, so am I! The last thing I remember, I was

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in my palace spa in the illustrious golden bay

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of Noiri. I just finished my pre -salt -soaked,

00:10:25.460 --> 00:10:27.700
post -waxed silverfish mud bath when I heard

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a strange sound like a far -off blowing horn.

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I felt the sound pulling at me, rippling the

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air all around, and then I was here, wherever

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here is. Now, who am I, you ask? I am Jean Franklin

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Montelio, formerly known as the Patriarch of

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House Montelio, Lord of the Nine Pools, and Seventh

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King of Coin of Zinda. So in the past, though,

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I've granted my royal title to my husband, Ledoux.

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Now I am simply Jean Franklin Montelio, the Luminary,

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known as the Fisher King. And what is a Luminary,

00:10:57.129 --> 00:10:59.850
you ask? Well, you might call us celebrity adventurers

00:10:59.850 --> 00:11:02.389
known across all the 25 conquered worlds connected

00:11:02.389 --> 00:11:05.590
by the Radiant Citadel. I myself am part of a

00:11:05.590 --> 00:11:07.409
team of renowned luminaries, though I have to

00:11:07.409 --> 00:11:09.490
spend some time away from the rest of the team.

00:11:10.269 --> 00:11:13.269
But before that, before I had to take my leave,

00:11:13.370 --> 00:11:15.350
I joined in a number of incredible adventures

00:11:15.350 --> 00:11:17.870
with my best friend Jules LaRoche, a .k .a. the

00:11:17.870 --> 00:11:21.490
Midnight Prince, and with my mentor Blanche Trudeau,

00:11:21.590 --> 00:11:24.629
a .k .a. the Master of Defense. And I'll tell

00:11:24.629 --> 00:11:26.389
you, we have all been prominently featured on

00:11:26.389 --> 00:11:28.620
the Crystal Network. And what is the crystal

00:11:28.620 --> 00:11:30.980
network, you ask? Well, yeah, never mind that.

00:11:31.019 --> 00:11:33.220
It's not important to this story. If you want

00:11:33.220 --> 00:11:34.659
to know, listen to the show. It's very, very

00:11:34.659 --> 00:11:39.000
good. Having good authority. Anyways, now I'm

00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:40.899
hanging upside down and naked in some frigid,

00:11:40.899 --> 00:11:43.379
dirty hellscape. I have no idea how I got here,

00:11:43.460 --> 00:11:46.080
where I am, and how I'm going to get home. And

00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:48.019
worst of all, when I do get home, I'm going to

00:11:48.019 --> 00:11:49.960
restart the entire bathing ritual I was hours

00:11:49.960 --> 00:11:53.220
in. But at the very least, I know this situation

00:11:53.220 --> 00:11:58.639
can possibly, possibly get... N .A. West. Right?

00:11:59.500 --> 00:12:03.460
And our screen unfreezes as John Franklin continues

00:12:03.460 --> 00:12:10.519
his swinging and his struggling. The sound of

00:12:10.519 --> 00:12:14.720
rustling brush. The turtle goes still, turns

00:12:14.720 --> 00:12:19.720
his head, and we see what he sees. Two pony -sized

00:12:19.720 --> 00:12:22.379
boars, their bodies adorned by armored plates,

00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:25.320
pushing through the brush 30 feet away. They

00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:27.740
lock eyes with Jean, then stomp their hooves

00:12:27.740 --> 00:12:34.659
into the snow and snort. Ah, well, shit. Good

00:12:34.659 --> 00:12:39.940
piggies. Gentle piggies. And the boars charge

00:12:39.940 --> 00:12:42.539
forward. They toss proffer towards the hanging

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turtle's head. And we see, as he sees these boars

00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:51.600
coming, as he's, wait, wait, wait, wait, no,

00:12:51.659 --> 00:12:54.080
no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. We see two heroic

00:12:54.080 --> 00:12:56.620
figures rush by the hanging turtle coming from

00:12:56.620 --> 00:12:59.600
the opposite direction of the boars. The first

00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:02.320
we see is another turtle, the one much older

00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:04.860
than the Fisher King. Stephen Rodriguez, you

00:13:04.860 --> 00:13:06.440
were the first to move in my made -up initiative.

00:13:06.899 --> 00:13:09.259
Will you please describe your character and then

00:13:09.259 --> 00:13:12.840
probably kick some ass? Okay, yeah. Blanche Trudeau,

00:13:12.840 --> 00:13:17.779
like Jean Franklin, is a turtle. Her scales are

00:13:17.779 --> 00:13:20.559
not as vibrant and green as Jean's are. She's

00:13:20.559 --> 00:13:28.309
a bit older. And she wields her badass saber

00:13:28.309 --> 00:13:33.309
sort of katana sword, we call it. And with Ichigenka,

00:13:33.470 --> 00:13:36.509
the sword's name, she's going to take a swipe

00:13:36.509 --> 00:13:40.370
at the closest boar, if she can reach it. Okay,

00:13:40.409 --> 00:13:41.769
let's say they're 20 feet away. You're moving

00:13:41.769 --> 00:13:44.350
20 feet, sliding ahead. You're going to strike.

00:13:44.370 --> 00:13:47.250
You hear behind you, sah, sah, from the hanging

00:13:47.250 --> 00:13:48.909
turtle. But you go and attack. Give me that attack

00:13:48.909 --> 00:13:56.899
roll. Just a 15 is the first roll? 15. Hits.

00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:00.039
Okay, great. Let's do the second attack first.

00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:08.440
Nope, that's a natural one. Oh! So, no hit. We'll

00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:09.620
resolve that. Do your attack first. I was going

00:14:09.620 --> 00:14:11.379
to say, are you going to hurt me? Boars are kind

00:14:11.379 --> 00:14:15.799
of like horses. So... If you know what that means,

00:14:15.860 --> 00:14:17.179
don't worry about it. You'll figure it out. Listen

00:14:17.179 --> 00:14:20.830
to the show. It's great. 11 points of damage.

00:14:21.210 --> 00:14:26.450
Okay. And gosh, I'm so unsure if it's too early

00:14:26.450 --> 00:14:30.470
to do this, but as a bonus action, Blanche will

00:14:30.470 --> 00:14:37.009
use her blade song ability and enter that stance.

00:14:37.330 --> 00:14:42.590
So she'll get a boost to AC and movement. Okay.

00:14:42.909 --> 00:14:47.700
All right. You're going to blade song. You go

00:14:47.700 --> 00:14:49.379
into it a little bit too late. That natural one,

00:14:49.460 --> 00:14:51.440
we're going to say, because I love to have a

00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:52.860
little fun with natural ones, but it makes sense.

00:14:53.039 --> 00:14:54.960
You slide up, you hit this board. It was kind

00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:57.559
of mid -charge. It's not slowing down fast enough,

00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:00.539
and this thing is going to fully move up. Who's

00:15:00.539 --> 00:15:02.720
stomping you down? I'm going to roll a little

00:15:02.720 --> 00:15:06.220
bit of damage on you here. Nothing to craze.

00:15:06.259 --> 00:15:07.759
Only six points of bludgeoning damage for this

00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:09.779
opening. Oh my goodness. You're sweeping out

00:15:09.779 --> 00:15:11.419
of the way just in time. It crushes down on your

00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:14.700
foot, your lower leg. A little bit of horse boar

00:15:14.700 --> 00:15:19.139
trampling. but you stand firm. This hits you.

00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:21.779
You go into blade song. We hear this singing

00:15:21.779 --> 00:15:25.340
of a ringing metal as your sword is drawn as

00:15:25.340 --> 00:15:29.120
your bonus to your armor as you stand tall and

00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:33.320
firm before your pupil. John, can you get down

00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:35.080
yourself or do you need my help with that too?

00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:37.580
I don't, I have nothing. I'm naked. Why do I,

00:15:37.620 --> 00:15:42.139
I can't, yeah, yes, sir. Now, as you're having

00:15:42.139 --> 00:15:44.200
this little conversation, the second figure to

00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:48.320
rush by we see is moving now. Just a hair behind

00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:50.740
Blanche Trudeau. We see a tall and lanky man

00:15:50.740 --> 00:15:53.320
with a lute strapped to his back. Mr. Jeremy

00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:55.320
Wolf, you are the second act. Would you please

00:15:55.320 --> 00:15:58.100
describe your character and cool opening move?

00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:00.899
Yeah, Jules LaRoche is a tall, skinny guy. Really

00:16:00.899 --> 00:16:06.960
cocky eyes. Cocky eyes. He's got a dark brown

00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:10.460
pompadour on top of his head. And he wears a

00:16:10.460 --> 00:16:14.100
hood and cloak, which is very dark, purpley,

00:16:14.100 --> 00:16:18.200
blue, starry. And his trademark is the lute strapped

00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:20.840
to his back, in which he plays music and also

00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:23.200
casts some magic out of, too. You cast some magic

00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:24.500
now. You're here behind you. The turtle just,

00:16:24.580 --> 00:16:31.600
Jules! Man, I got you. I got you. Jules, we'll

00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:33.659
first start with bonus action. Cast Botic Inspiration

00:16:33.659 --> 00:16:39.929
onto Blanche. So that's an added D8. And... Thank

00:16:39.929 --> 00:16:42.789
you for that. Yeah. And then we'll just have

00:16:42.789 --> 00:16:45.009
some fun to start. He's going to cast Tasha's

00:16:45.009 --> 00:16:46.750
Hideous Laughter onto this thing. On a boar?

00:16:47.330 --> 00:16:50.470
Yeah. What does that mean? Yeah. All right. Start

00:16:50.470 --> 00:16:52.970
off fun. I'm in it. One that was hit, the one

00:16:52.970 --> 00:16:55.289
that was not hit. There's two. Let's go with

00:16:55.289 --> 00:16:57.250
the one that was not hit. All right. Yeah. And

00:16:57.250 --> 00:16:59.049
I'm rolling a save on this boar. Wisdom save

00:16:59.049 --> 00:17:04.289
on that. Okay. Oh, boars. Famously wise. Yeah.

00:17:04.490 --> 00:17:12.180
Oops. That's not my tower. It's an 11. No. All

00:17:12.180 --> 00:17:15.559
right. Nope. Hang on. More laughs, please. Give

00:17:15.559 --> 00:17:18.859
me a second. Yes, go ahead. Yeah. So it's got...

00:17:18.859 --> 00:17:24.480
It just falls down doing that horrible sound.

00:17:24.740 --> 00:17:30.779
You regret all your actions, Jeremy. Just convulsing

00:17:30.779 --> 00:17:32.680
on the ground. Again, 20 feet away, just drops.

00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:34.480
How close are you to Jean? Are you standing right

00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:38.210
behind him? Yeah. Hell yeah. She just blanched

00:17:38.210 --> 00:17:41.109
her head next to one boar that just crushed her

00:17:41.109 --> 00:17:44.450
foot and one boar that's on the ground squealing

00:17:44.450 --> 00:17:49.950
for its life joyously. I don't know. Hell yeah.

00:17:50.470 --> 00:17:55.529
And as you stand there, Jules, your cocky eyes

00:17:55.529 --> 00:17:58.490
and the eyes of Blanche and the hanging Jean

00:17:58.490 --> 00:18:00.930
Franklin are drawn to his face behind the boars

00:18:00.930 --> 00:18:03.529
just in front of the bush they charged in from.

00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:06.859
They are drawn to a trail of flowing shadow like

00:18:06.859 --> 00:18:09.200
a lightless black flame that needs to trickle

00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:11.119
down from the treetops and coalesce into a short,

00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:15.099
stout form. It is a phenomenon you have seen

00:18:15.099 --> 00:18:19.059
only once before. As the boars, or the one standing

00:18:19.059 --> 00:18:21.539
boar, kind of gears up to strike again, that

00:18:21.539 --> 00:18:24.400
form fully materializes into a dwarven woman

00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:27.500
clad in black feathers. Rochelle, you are the

00:18:27.500 --> 00:18:29.960
last of the party, but certainly not the least.

00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:31.839
Would you kindly describe your character and

00:18:31.839 --> 00:18:34.819
then get to the slaughter? Absolutely, absolutely.

00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:38.099
Rimble is tall for dwarven standards. She's got

00:18:38.099 --> 00:18:41.099
somewhere between chestnut and auburn hair with

00:18:41.099 --> 00:18:46.779
a clean, stark white forelock and silvered raven

00:18:46.779 --> 00:18:49.720
skull pauldrons and feathered chossable over

00:18:49.720 --> 00:18:54.920
black leather armor. Hell yeah. What are you

00:18:54.920 --> 00:18:56.339
going to do to me? We've already proven that

00:18:56.339 --> 00:18:58.640
a pig isn't particularly wise. Can I get a wisdom

00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:01.420
save, please? Oh, no. I guess it doesn't matter.

00:19:01.500 --> 00:19:03.450
Which pig are you going for? The one that's already

00:19:03.450 --> 00:19:09.650
injured. Okay. All right. That's a natural 20.

00:19:09.930 --> 00:19:15.670
No. Oh. Shit. Sporking's ass. Apparently this

00:19:15.670 --> 00:19:18.910
pig is extra wise, so nothing happens. It's quite

00:19:18.910 --> 00:19:23.589
disappointing. Dramatic flame. The ear coalesces.

00:19:23.630 --> 00:19:25.890
Hand outstretched towards the boar. What's it

00:19:25.890 --> 00:19:27.589
look like when you try to cast this cool spell?

00:19:27.970 --> 00:19:32.579
You hear a distant bell. Nothing happens. The

00:19:32.579 --> 00:19:39.039
boar's just like, and that's that. Hell yeah.

00:19:39.160 --> 00:19:43.299
And with that, as you stand all together, three

00:19:43.299 --> 00:19:47.259
heroes gathered in one place. Let's get into

00:19:47.259 --> 00:19:52.000
this combat for reals. Because the boars turn.

00:19:52.980 --> 00:19:56.180
Oh, boars. Let's see. Well, one's laughing on

00:19:56.180 --> 00:19:58.160
the floor. One's going to attack Blanche. Does

00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:02.779
Jaune get a turn? What's he going to do? Explain.

00:20:03.099 --> 00:20:04.960
I have a question. Let me explain Jean Flanagan.

00:20:05.019 --> 00:20:06.839
Jean Flanagan is a sidekick played by Steven

00:20:06.839 --> 00:20:08.440
Rodriguez. We have sidekicks in this campaign.

00:20:08.700 --> 00:20:10.759
Voiced by me, played by him. Steven's going to

00:20:10.759 --> 00:20:12.240
explain to us all how he's going to get out of

00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:17.220
the snare trap naked. I'm so excited to hear

00:20:17.220 --> 00:20:21.619
this. Jean, as a turtle, has an action called

00:20:21.619 --> 00:20:24.619
shell defense where he can withdraw himself into

00:20:24.619 --> 00:20:28.420
a shell as an action. I don't know if there's

00:20:28.420 --> 00:20:32.140
a... weak argument to be made that he could somehow

00:20:32.140 --> 00:20:37.619
like inside of his shell get out of that rope

00:20:37.619 --> 00:20:39.900
somehow. Okay. I don't know. Let's raise the

00:20:39.900 --> 00:20:41.559
audience. What do you think? I gotta try. I gotta

00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:44.119
try. It's baloney. We got two thumbs up. We got

00:20:44.119 --> 00:20:46.140
three thumbs up. We got five thumbs up. I need

00:20:46.140 --> 00:20:47.200
ten thumbs up at least. What do you want? Do

00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:48.559
you want to roll dice about it? I got ten thumbs

00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:51.859
up. All right. No, there's ten thumbs up. Dice?

00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:58.660
It's a live show. Okay. You use shell defense.

00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:02.079
Jaune scoops up into his shell. Wait, actually.

00:21:02.200 --> 00:21:03.819
Well, it's like a magic trick, you know? He goes

00:21:03.819 --> 00:21:06.119
into his shell, and then he comes out without

00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:08.660
the rope attached to him. Jaune isn't smart enough

00:21:08.660 --> 00:21:10.980
to do that on his own. You gotta say the thing.

00:21:12.140 --> 00:21:16.900
Say the thing? Say the thing! Oh. Yeah, yeah,

00:21:16.920 --> 00:21:19.890
yeah. Jaune! Brace for riptide! He said the thing!

00:21:20.309 --> 00:21:24.289
Yes, sir! The turtle snaps into its shell, realizing

00:21:24.289 --> 00:21:27.690
suddenly that this bullshit can work. And snap!

00:21:27.789 --> 00:21:32.190
The rope snaps down as John retracts to his shell

00:21:32.190 --> 00:21:36.309
so forcefully that it does that. Boom! Falls

00:21:36.309 --> 00:21:40.670
down. I got thumbs up. I don't care. He drops

00:21:40.670 --> 00:21:43.230
into the snow, fully in his shell, landing on

00:21:43.230 --> 00:21:46.210
his back, kind of sort of twisting, settling

00:21:46.210 --> 00:21:49.579
into place. What's he doing now? Jean will get

00:21:49.579 --> 00:21:53.900
up then, and if he's close enough to one of these,

00:21:54.059 --> 00:21:59.599
so if he's close enough to a boar, he'll take

00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:03.799
a swing at it. Shell defense is in action. Oh,

00:22:03.819 --> 00:22:05.819
sure. Yep, that's right. Okay, so he's just going

00:22:05.819 --> 00:22:09.039
to stand behind Blanche. He'll move and stand

00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:11.339
behind Blanche. He stumbles back to his feet.

00:22:11.400 --> 00:22:17.670
Yes, yes, I am here too. That's his turn. Can

00:22:17.670 --> 00:22:20.329
I boar you now? Yeah, go for it, yeah. All right,

00:22:20.329 --> 00:22:23.829
cool. We're doing this thing. One boar is laughing.

00:22:24.029 --> 00:22:26.210
I get to make a save, a wisdom save, famously

00:22:26.210 --> 00:22:30.930
high. Give me that nat 20 again. Come on. Yeah,

00:22:30.930 --> 00:22:33.569
boar's still laughing. Great. Other boar. Nice.

00:22:34.190 --> 00:22:36.670
It's going to beat you up, Blanche. Here it comes.

00:22:36.849 --> 00:22:41.809
Bring it on. It's a natural one. Yeah, that's

00:22:41.809 --> 00:22:43.529
not going to work. He tramples the other boar.

00:22:45.800 --> 00:22:47.019
I'm going to do some damage to the other guy.

00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:50.000
I'm going to roll damage to the computer tonight

00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:52.859
because if I do that much mental math, we will

00:22:52.859 --> 00:22:59.279
be here forever. Okay. That's both my boars turn,

00:22:59.480 --> 00:23:01.759
actually, so that was the saddest situation.

00:23:02.539 --> 00:23:05.119
Other boars got totally stomped. This guy kind

00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:07.380
of goes to move, completely misses, whiffs it,

00:23:07.480 --> 00:23:09.900
steps on his friend's head, and we are back at

00:23:09.900 --> 00:23:11.759
the top of the round with Blanche Trudeau. Okay.

00:23:12.839 --> 00:23:17.839
Blanche is... I'm unsure that this is going to

00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:20.660
be all that we've got tonight. So I'm going to

00:23:20.660 --> 00:23:24.119
rinse and repeat and take two more swipes. I

00:23:24.119 --> 00:23:26.539
know I've got my bardic if I need it. Two more

00:23:26.539 --> 00:23:30.140
hits on the damaged boar. That's a 17 on the

00:23:30.140 --> 00:23:36.500
die for the first and a 19 for the second. Both

00:23:36.500 --> 00:23:44.000
are going to hit. So that's 22 points of damage.

00:23:45.589 --> 00:23:50.549
22. Go ahead and describe your boar kill. Jeez,

00:23:50.769 --> 00:23:53.029
I hate describing killing animals, especially

00:23:53.029 --> 00:23:57.049
in front of people. Describe your slaughter.

00:23:58.730 --> 00:24:03.390
Make it disgusting. Okay, Blanche, make it disgusting?

00:24:03.670 --> 00:24:05.410
No, wait, don't. I'll take it back, hang on.

00:24:05.529 --> 00:24:07.170
I put a disclaimer at the start so it wouldn't

00:24:07.170 --> 00:24:11.440
be overly gross. Blanche will... She'll go around

00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:15.140
the side of the boar. She steps swiftly and smoothly

00:24:15.140 --> 00:24:18.940
and lops his head off. Okay, all right. Just

00:24:18.940 --> 00:24:20.720
one downward swing. Oh, no, they're pony -sized.

00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:26.220
Downward swing, yeah. All right. Curly cut. The

00:24:26.220 --> 00:24:30.319
laughing boar's like... Eyes go wide, looking

00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:32.119
at his buddy's head just split right off. The

00:24:32.119 --> 00:24:34.539
buddy just stepped on him. Whole situation here.

00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:37.460
And with that, Blanche, that's your turn, right?

00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:40.059
That's my turn. Hey, Mr. Jules LaRoche, what

00:24:40.059 --> 00:24:42.619
are you doing? He's going to go to the one who's

00:24:42.619 --> 00:24:45.019
laughing on the ground. Oh, no. And he's just

00:24:45.019 --> 00:24:48.339
going to go in with David, the Sturge Sword.

00:24:48.819 --> 00:24:52.240
Oh, the Sturge Sword! It's really cool. Trust

00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:56.220
me. A magic mosquito -looking sword with a big

00:24:56.220 --> 00:24:59.680
Roboscis blade, rapier kind of deal. Get in there

00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:02.000
with the Sturge Sword. And to be clear with the

00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:04.519
Sturge Sword, if I roll an actual 20, it takes

00:25:04.519 --> 00:25:07.819
an extra 10 necrotic damage. Okay. Well, that's

00:25:07.819 --> 00:25:13.859
going to happen. Out of the box. Good thing you

00:25:13.859 --> 00:25:17.259
got four sets of dice over here. Jeremy's got,

00:25:17.380 --> 00:25:19.420
yeah, two over there, two over here. Oh, that's

00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:21.960
an 18 on the die plus three. Oh, that will hit.

00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:26.980
Oh, wait. Advantage. Because it's... Yeah. Yeah.

00:25:27.019 --> 00:25:34.380
Yeah. That's a 15. Okay. Still hits. For only

00:25:34.380 --> 00:25:39.329
two damage. I'm going to give you a turn. Hey,

00:25:39.349 --> 00:25:42.269
Bard, it's not great with a sword. No, no. I'm

00:25:42.269 --> 00:25:43.430
not going to use more spell slots right now.

00:25:43.430 --> 00:25:46.009
Exactly. We got a long battle, I think. She walks

00:25:46.009 --> 00:25:48.390
over and nicks the boar a little bit, tickles

00:25:48.390 --> 00:25:52.009
it with a stirred sword. Yeah, take that. I was

00:25:52.009 --> 00:25:53.509
going to say Rinbell, show them how it's done,

00:25:53.609 --> 00:25:56.029
but we saw that last turn. Can you redeem yourself

00:25:56.029 --> 00:25:59.650
in front of the audience? Probably not, but we'll

00:25:59.650 --> 00:26:05.549
try anyway. Being surprised at the innate wisdom

00:26:05.549 --> 00:26:07.920
of this animal. She's going to ask for a dex

00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:10.680
save instead. Okay. All right. I just wanted

00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:12.819
to see if that attack stopped my laughing. It

00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:17.839
did not. Dex save. Natural one again. Wow. Get

00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:20.839
him out early, me. Get him out early, me. Yeah,

00:26:20.900 --> 00:26:23.700
fully. I mean, it's on the ground laughing. I

00:26:23.700 --> 00:26:24.960
don't think I should have even rolled that, so

00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:29.259
this is fine. This is fine. Takes 21 points of

00:26:29.259 --> 00:26:31.119
radiant damage. 21 points of radiant damage.

00:26:31.359 --> 00:26:34.099
I'll tell you what. It's looking pretty bad.

00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:38.019
It's looking pretty bad. But it's still up. I'm

00:26:38.019 --> 00:26:39.160
going to roll to see if I break that laughter.

00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:45.259
Come on! I think that'll do it with a 15? Yeah,

00:26:45.259 --> 00:26:47.539
that'll do it. Yes! Does that meet it? It's a

00:26:47.539 --> 00:26:51.960
DC 14. So just full flame lights up this boar

00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:54.740
in the middle of this snow field. It actually

00:26:54.740 --> 00:26:57.900
was dead friend. It roars. It sort of stops.

00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:00.859
It's sort of boar laughter. Eyes go wide. It

00:27:00.859 --> 00:27:03.220
starts to move to stand up. It's not able to

00:27:03.220 --> 00:27:06.039
stand up quite yet. Still prone. You know what's

00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:09.720
coming at you hard now. And only Jean -Franc

00:27:09.720 --> 00:27:11.640
on his left before this boar gets to move. Yeah,

00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:14.640
let me find his. You said he's naked. I'm trying

00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:18.539
to see what he has for a hit now. He has no weapon

00:27:18.539 --> 00:27:21.779
right now. If he does damage, he only does a

00:27:21.779 --> 00:27:24.339
strength modifier on an attack. Okay, strength

00:27:24.339 --> 00:27:26.299
modifier. You can punch this thing. You can punch

00:27:26.299 --> 00:27:27.980
the boar in the head. Jean's going to run up

00:27:27.980 --> 00:27:30.160
and punch it. He still gets two attacks. Okay.

00:27:31.240 --> 00:27:33.819
So this goes. Nope, that first roll's a three.

00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:39.859
Stupid. It's only 13. It does not hit. No. He

00:27:39.859 --> 00:27:41.880
missed twice. Oh, poor John. Yeah, he missed

00:27:41.880 --> 00:27:45.559
twice. He's bouncing off the armor. Ow, ow. Damn

00:27:45.559 --> 00:27:48.799
it. Okay, that's his turn. I get to go now. I'm

00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:50.160
going to hit John Franklin because he just punched

00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:52.359
me. I can see you haven't been training unarmed.

00:27:53.240 --> 00:28:01.950
I just crit. Oh, shit. This is awesome. David,

00:28:01.970 --> 00:28:04.809
no, it is not. What? Oh. What? Explain yourself.

00:28:04.849 --> 00:28:06.529
We have a Grave Cleric. Grave Cleric Sentinel.

00:28:06.650 --> 00:28:08.670
It is not a critical hit. What does it look like?

00:28:09.089 --> 00:28:11.730
It looks like a feather that starts out from

00:28:11.730 --> 00:28:14.650
Ren Bell's finger and then dips in front of the

00:28:14.650 --> 00:28:18.559
attack to knock it off. It's true. Holy shit.

00:28:18.660 --> 00:28:21.400
Okay, so this boar goes in. Jean misses, leaves

00:28:21.400 --> 00:28:23.619
it wide open. You see, as you say that line about

00:28:23.619 --> 00:28:25.500
missing, he turns to you like, no, sir, I promise.

00:28:25.559 --> 00:28:28.099
And completely, like an idiot, lets down his

00:28:28.099 --> 00:28:30.859
guard. Boar stands back up. He has come at him

00:28:30.859 --> 00:28:33.559
with his tusks. Rainbow, you see disaster. And

00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:35.640
Feather flits out, whacks the boar in the eye.

00:28:35.700 --> 00:28:37.720
It kind of turns to the side. Is it a normal

00:28:37.720 --> 00:28:41.859
hit? Yes. Okay. All right. Unfortunately, I rolled

00:28:41.859 --> 00:28:43.759
super low on the first set of die there. So that's

00:28:43.759 --> 00:28:46.579
only going to be six damage to Jean Franklin.

00:28:47.950 --> 00:28:54.109
Pretty rough for me. And that is my boar, right?

00:28:54.210 --> 00:28:56.690
Yeah, only one left. We roll back onto Blanche.

00:28:56.869 --> 00:29:00.069
Okay, time to hopefully end this, and my best

00:29:00.069 --> 00:29:06.710
chance of hitting is another sword swing. That's

00:29:06.710 --> 00:29:11.369
19 for the first. and a natural 19 for the second.

00:29:11.549 --> 00:29:13.890
You can't possibly not kill this thing. Right,

00:29:13.890 --> 00:29:16.789
okay, perfect. Go ahead and describe what it

00:29:16.789 --> 00:29:19.069
looks like. It had 2 HP. If Jean punched it,

00:29:19.150 --> 00:29:21.470
he would have finished it off. He's too useless.

00:29:23.569 --> 00:29:30.069
So Blanche will run up and... Two boar heads.

00:29:30.329 --> 00:29:31.869
We've got two boar heads laying on the ground.

00:29:32.130 --> 00:29:36.309
Make it awful. No, stop. Slides up next to his

00:29:36.309 --> 00:29:38.549
buddies. Two boar heads, which, yeah, it's not

00:29:38.549 --> 00:29:41.690
all... Horrific. You really beat out that one.

00:29:42.710 --> 00:29:47.950
Okay, and with that, with that, the forest goes

00:29:47.950 --> 00:29:55.430
silent. Well, lucky thing for that feather, huh?

00:29:56.950 --> 00:29:59.930
Let me catch you guys up on what you know. Jules

00:29:59.930 --> 00:30:02.869
and Blanche, you were in the lowbrow tavern inn

00:30:02.869 --> 00:30:05.410
hybrid known as the Ugly Coyote on the third

00:30:05.410 --> 00:30:07.650
of five days you had to prepare to embark on

00:30:07.650 --> 00:30:10.759
a new adventure. You are both fully armed, as

00:30:10.759 --> 00:30:13.240
your recent situation is one of great uncertainty,

00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:15.440
and you have been careful to keep up your guards.

00:30:15.740 --> 00:30:17.519
Though even you could not be expected to be pulled

00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:19.359
from the Radiant Citadel by the sound of a far

00:30:19.359 --> 00:30:22.000
-off horn, you appeared here just moments ago

00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:23.779
and heard the familiar voice of Jean Franklin,

00:30:23.900 --> 00:30:26.380
your old ally, yelling out through the trees

00:30:26.380 --> 00:30:32.079
nearby. And you came running. Rinbell. As ever,

00:30:32.119 --> 00:30:34.819
your situation is a bit more complicated to describe.

00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:37.980
You are not from this system of worlds, or as

00:30:37.980 --> 00:30:40.799
you are aware, these broken fragments of one

00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:42.960
world spread across the borders of the material

00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:45.740
plane. A city floating in an ethereal plane known

00:30:45.740 --> 00:30:47.380
as the Radiant Citadel is a force that broke

00:30:47.380 --> 00:30:49.039
this world, that keeps the pieces separated,

00:30:49.180 --> 00:30:51.039
and that keeps them locked away from the greater

00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:53.779
multiverse outside. Basically, this city is a

00:30:53.779 --> 00:30:56.380
cosmic prison, and you're one of the only figures

00:30:56.380 --> 00:31:00.059
in the multiverse with a tunnel in and out. You

00:31:00.059 --> 00:31:02.460
serve both the Raven Queen's agenda and your

00:31:02.460 --> 00:31:05.289
own curiosity. They go on occasional expeditions

00:31:05.289 --> 00:31:07.890
into the fragments of Shadrakhan and seeking

00:31:07.890 --> 00:31:10.089
out ancient ruins of deep historical significance.

00:31:10.910 --> 00:31:13.329
And for some time now, you've been working in

00:31:13.329 --> 00:31:17.329
pursuit of a particular mystery. Once every Citadel

00:31:17.329 --> 00:31:20.210
calendar year, upon the same date, a strange

00:31:20.210 --> 00:31:22.849
magical phenomenon has been noticed by the Raven

00:31:22.849 --> 00:31:25.750
Queen. A powerful spell ripping open multiple

00:31:25.750 --> 00:31:28.170
transdimensional gates and feeding them to a

00:31:28.170 --> 00:31:31.529
particular location. The raw power of this magic

00:31:31.529 --> 00:31:34.150
reveals it to be the work of the ancient slain

00:31:34.150 --> 00:31:37.329
deities of Shadrakhan. Almost certainly some

00:31:37.329 --> 00:31:39.829
ancient ruin at the heart of all this, some great

00:31:39.829 --> 00:31:43.990
artifact. Now it took time, but you have keyed

00:31:43.990 --> 00:31:46.250
into the sorcery for this spell, attuning your

00:31:46.250 --> 00:31:49.390
own ring of gate to react and draw you to its

00:31:49.390 --> 00:31:52.150
destination. As the spell went off and as you

00:31:52.150 --> 00:31:53.970
activated your own gate, you were pulled along

00:31:53.970 --> 00:31:56.690
with the sound of a blaring horn. And you felt

00:31:56.690 --> 00:31:59.130
a strange enchantment take hold of your body.

00:31:59.970 --> 00:32:02.130
And then you appeared here in this forest looking

00:32:02.130 --> 00:32:04.690
upon three allies that always seem to get themselves

00:32:04.690 --> 00:32:06.890
caught up in the absolute worst kind of shit.

00:32:07.670 --> 00:32:09.630
The last you saw these three some weeks ago,

00:32:09.710 --> 00:32:11.730
they were on an adventure involving a sail -slay

00:32:11.730 --> 00:32:17.109
race in a world of endless wind. And now you're

00:32:17.109 --> 00:32:23.069
here. Now they're here. And I finally shut up.

00:32:23.150 --> 00:32:25.490
You guys can talk. Last year was only weeks ago.

00:32:26.109 --> 00:32:27.630
It actually was. Cannot have pleased about a

00:32:27.630 --> 00:32:30.450
month ago. Yeah. Weird, right? We have not taken

00:32:30.450 --> 00:32:32.710
much break time between arcs lately. But yes.

00:32:34.410 --> 00:32:36.309
You should have picked a convenient time to show

00:32:36.309 --> 00:32:39.049
up. Kind of happens that way. John Franklin,

00:32:39.210 --> 00:32:43.730
where are your pants? I would love to know. If

00:32:43.730 --> 00:32:46.569
you could help me find some pants, I'd be grateful.

00:32:48.170 --> 00:32:51.750
Some. Yeah, keep warm with this fan. Fantasy.

00:32:52.710 --> 00:32:56.490
Wow. He did it. I did it. Jules is going to take

00:32:56.490 --> 00:32:59.009
off his cloak and wrap it around John Franklin.

00:32:59.250 --> 00:33:02.710
That's a cloak of protection. Yeah. Cool. All

00:33:02.710 --> 00:33:04.329
right. I'll take it. For now, you still got the

00:33:04.329 --> 00:33:07.269
fine fucking pants. Jules, thank you. Just to

00:33:07.269 --> 00:33:09.470
keep you warm. His old towel is just in the mud.

00:33:09.509 --> 00:33:11.309
It looks wet and sad now. He doesn't want it.

00:33:12.589 --> 00:33:15.950
I don't know what happened. I was in the sandcastle

00:33:15.950 --> 00:33:17.529
in the Golden Bay. I was in the spa. I was in

00:33:17.529 --> 00:33:19.769
the middle of my treatment. The beginning middle.

00:33:19.930 --> 00:33:22.869
And I was just here. I heard a horn. Did you

00:33:22.869 --> 00:33:26.769
hear a horn? Everyone a horn? Did we hear a horn?

00:33:26.910 --> 00:33:29.690
You did. Yes, yeah, we heard the horn. Yeah,

00:33:29.690 --> 00:33:34.569
yeah. Do you know why we're here? What happened?

00:33:36.670 --> 00:33:40.029
Blanche, as the situation becomes clear, you

00:33:40.029 --> 00:33:42.049
actually might know a little more about what

00:33:42.049 --> 00:33:43.769
is going on here. Sorry, I'm going to talk again.

00:33:44.089 --> 00:33:48.329
I'm back. Let's catch up a little more. Because

00:33:48.329 --> 00:33:49.950
you recently received a letter from an old friend,

00:33:50.210 --> 00:33:53.420
a luminary ranger known as... The last time you

00:33:53.420 --> 00:33:55.559
saw Eminem, you, Jules, and Jean helped them

00:33:55.559 --> 00:33:58.720
defeat a member of the infamous Snake Eater poaching

00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:01.940
organization, a crazed criminal culinarian named

00:34:01.940 --> 00:34:04.980
Guy Safari. Now, following this mission, Eminem

00:34:04.980 --> 00:34:06.559
wrapped in his psychic bank went deep undercover

00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:08.480
within the Snake Eaters on the hunt for the remaining

00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:10.760
heads of the snake. And he sent you a couple

00:34:10.760 --> 00:34:13.099
of updates on his progress via coded letters.

00:34:13.579 --> 00:34:16.639
And written in the last one, some very interesting

00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:19.860
information. He had heard talk of an annual ritual

00:34:19.860 --> 00:34:22.539
of one sect of the Snake Ears, a group of ogres

00:34:22.539 --> 00:34:25.840
known as Hell's Killin'. This group would partake

00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:28.300
in a hunting ritual every year, referred to by

00:34:28.300 --> 00:34:31.599
the wider organization as Mountain Mania. Uh,

00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:34.320
what do you know? Emin Rath didn't know the nature

00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:36.800
of the ritual or the exact date, only that it

00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:38.980
involved a magical artifact and some remote mountaintop

00:34:38.980 --> 00:34:42.099
ruins on the world of Mor. It was going to happen

00:34:42.099 --> 00:34:46.500
soon. Given the... Floor and fauna you have witnessed

00:34:46.500 --> 00:34:48.219
around you, Blanche, you have a deep suspicion

00:34:48.219 --> 00:34:53.719
that the world you stand on now is more. And

00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:56.179
as you're taking in the forest around you, seeing

00:34:56.179 --> 00:34:58.880
any other sign of evidence for your theory, you'd

00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:02.099
note two dark figures, two crows, dropping in

00:35:02.099 --> 00:35:04.280
from above and perching on the end of a low branch.

00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:06.820
Their eyes, you see, seem to glow with some kind

00:35:06.820 --> 00:35:10.360
of enchantment. And one opens its beak and speaks.

00:35:11.920 --> 00:35:15.900
Go, Sephora's killers! He closely the rules of

00:35:15.900 --> 00:35:19.239
this hut. You are enchanted by the horn of Erekard

00:35:19.239 --> 00:35:22.599
and shackled upon the mountain's surface. Beak

00:35:22.599 --> 00:35:25.039
closes, the crow goes silent, and the other crow

00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:29.599
speaks. My death alone can free you. I await

00:35:29.599 --> 00:35:32.199
at the summit. Strike while strong, or I will

00:35:32.199 --> 00:35:36.699
slaughter you when you are weak. Gordo Ramseer.

00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:41.909
The crows. It's a serious bad guy. The glow fades

00:35:41.909 --> 00:35:43.429
from the crow's eyes, and they continue to look

00:35:43.429 --> 00:35:47.570
down at you, heads caught, and just... Can someone

00:35:47.570 --> 00:35:50.570
tell me what the devil is going on? It seems

00:35:50.570 --> 00:35:54.809
like we're in the snake -eater's poaching ritual,

00:35:54.949 --> 00:36:01.130
and this year, we're the hunter. I see. Because

00:36:01.130 --> 00:36:03.550
the guy we killed, the frosted -tipped dwarf

00:36:03.550 --> 00:36:06.329
fella? Last year. That's right. Last week. A

00:36:06.329 --> 00:36:09.690
couple weeks ago. Some number of weeks ago. The

00:36:09.690 --> 00:36:14.449
last time Renbel was here. Why are you here?

00:36:14.570 --> 00:36:19.110
What do you, Renbel? Renbel sort of shrugs. Where

00:36:19.110 --> 00:36:23.869
else would I be? What? Can you help us get to

00:36:23.869 --> 00:36:26.369
the top of the mountain fast enough that, well,

00:36:26.469 --> 00:36:28.909
like you said, we need to keep our strength?

00:36:29.409 --> 00:36:33.809
That I can do. I've got my blade song for another

00:36:33.809 --> 00:36:39.989
minute. And Blanche pulls out the broom of flying

00:36:39.989 --> 00:36:43.929
that she has. She can pass that off to probably

00:36:43.929 --> 00:36:47.829
Jean would be smartest to ride that. Oh, yes.

00:36:48.090 --> 00:36:50.590
You see it also shivering as he takes it. Like

00:36:50.590 --> 00:36:53.349
he's like truly sort of shaking. Damn, it's cold.

00:36:53.730 --> 00:36:55.190
Suppose the two of you still have those rings

00:36:55.190 --> 00:36:57.949
of warmth from mesmerized. I don't have mine,

00:36:57.949 --> 00:37:00.309
unfortunately. I took it off with a mani -pedi.

00:37:01.530 --> 00:37:04.469
His hand like freezes on the metal pole and he

00:37:04.469 --> 00:37:07.530
kind of slides under and it's not working. It's

00:37:07.530 --> 00:37:12.769
not working. And the words of the message from

00:37:12.769 --> 00:37:15.090
the animals comes back to you. You are shackled

00:37:15.090 --> 00:37:20.050
upon the mountain's surface. Oh, that's just

00:37:20.050 --> 00:37:27.170
so rude. Yeah. Okay, so no flying, Rinbell. Or

00:37:27.170 --> 00:37:33.210
bruma flying. Okay, that's great. What do we

00:37:33.210 --> 00:37:40.190
have to move fast? I can do... I can cast Expeditious

00:37:40.190 --> 00:37:44.469
Retreat. That'll be Concentration, though. So

00:37:44.469 --> 00:37:47.150
I can cast... Blanche will cast Expeditious Retreat

00:37:47.150 --> 00:37:52.409
on Jaune to keep him moving faster. How long

00:37:52.409 --> 00:37:54.789
does that last? Ten minutes. Oh, not bad. Okay.

00:37:54.949 --> 00:37:56.929
Yeah. Okay, we'll say, just to give you the stakes

00:37:56.929 --> 00:38:00.300
here. Every hour spent, he has to roll a con

00:38:00.300 --> 00:38:03.400
save or take an exhaustion. Six exhaustion, death.

00:38:03.619 --> 00:38:05.559
And every exhaustion is a negative one to all

00:38:05.559 --> 00:38:08.019
d20 rolls. So it's pretty serious. Even one can

00:38:08.019 --> 00:38:10.400
be detrimental in combat. Well, if we're measuring

00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:12.960
in hours, then a 10 -minute spell isn't going

00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:16.579
to help us a whole lot, I'm thinking. But let's

00:38:16.579 --> 00:38:18.659
try and see how far we can get. Also, you don't

00:38:18.659 --> 00:38:20.900
even know how far down you are. You don't feel

00:38:20.900 --> 00:38:22.400
like you're particularly high up on this mountain.

00:38:23.179 --> 00:38:24.860
You don't know how large it is. You just know

00:38:24.860 --> 00:38:26.559
you're apparently on a mountain. There is a summit.

00:38:26.619 --> 00:38:28.420
You can feel yourself standing upon a slope,

00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:32.320
looking just upwards, upwards into the whiteness

00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:35.000
in the trees. You cast that, and you guys begin

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:38.760
to move. Begin to move. Before we do, were there

00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:41.500
anything on the boars that we thought might be

00:38:41.500 --> 00:38:44.320
useful as far as a weapon for Jean Franklin?

00:38:45.619 --> 00:38:48.400
That's interesting. A particularly long tusk

00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:52.039
or something? Hmm. Give me A. Oh, boy. I think

00:38:52.039 --> 00:38:56.400
here. Survival or investigation? Your choice.

00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:07.559
18. Investigation. Investigation, okay. The tusks,

00:39:07.579 --> 00:39:09.840
if you were to take one off and tie it to a spear,

00:39:09.940 --> 00:39:11.460
you're not gonna make a makeshift weapon, makeshift

00:39:11.460 --> 00:39:14.380
spear, tied to a stick, I mean, just solid lumber

00:39:14.380 --> 00:39:16.760
all around, you can find something. You also,

00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:19.280
looking around, you might be able to take one

00:39:19.280 --> 00:39:21.360
of these sort of plates of armor and use it as

00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:24.079
a makeshift shield. Like a pauldron or something.

00:39:24.260 --> 00:39:26.440
Yeah, let me get a plus one to AC. Okay. Not

00:39:26.440 --> 00:39:29.000
a full plus two for a shield, but... Okay, yeah.

00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:32.440
So we'll lash that... So take a little time.

00:39:32.539 --> 00:39:33.659
This will take some time. We'll say it's going

00:39:33.659 --> 00:39:35.420
to take at least 15, 20 minutes to get this sort

00:39:35.420 --> 00:39:38.000
of set up. Okay. As you are pulling the armor

00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:42.300
off, too, you do note the sort of coiled serpent

00:39:42.300 --> 00:39:45.460
brand of the snake eaters is branded onto both

00:39:45.460 --> 00:39:48.960
of these boar. Okay, gotcha. So we can confirm

00:39:48.960 --> 00:39:52.789
that this is the snake eaters. David, will you

00:39:52.789 --> 00:39:55.670
let me cast Expeditions Retreat after the 15

00:39:55.670 --> 00:39:59.190
-20 minute crafting project? Sure. Thank you.

00:39:59.849 --> 00:40:01.590
I love the idea of Jean -Bernard just blazing

00:40:01.590 --> 00:40:04.469
up ahead of you, just going so fast. That's the

00:40:04.469 --> 00:40:07.730
idea. He would be getting ahead before you. Are

00:40:07.730 --> 00:40:09.929
you cool with that? I'm guessing that we'll probably

00:40:09.929 --> 00:40:12.269
try to travel in a group. Okay, because Expeditions

00:40:12.269 --> 00:40:13.429
Retreat makes him go faster. It doesn't make

00:40:13.429 --> 00:40:16.150
you go faster. Yeah, Blanche has a little further

00:40:16.150 --> 00:40:18.090
than that. She doesn't anymore because the minute's

00:40:18.090 --> 00:40:21.909
gone. So... Rimble has small, dwarven, stubby

00:40:21.909 --> 00:40:26.989
legs and probably 25 feet of speed. Okay, then

00:40:26.989 --> 00:40:29.329
if nobody else has anything to move faster...

00:40:29.329 --> 00:40:30.809
If you want y 'all to take on the entire enemy

00:40:30.809 --> 00:40:32.610
front naked 10 minutes ahead of you, that's fine.

00:40:32.730 --> 00:40:35.070
I'm totally down with running that. I wasn't

00:40:35.070 --> 00:40:36.650
sure if anybody else had anything to move fast.

00:40:37.510 --> 00:40:40.130
We'll move at normal speed as a group. Okay.

00:40:41.170 --> 00:40:43.170
Are you guys beginning to move up the mountain?

00:40:43.869 --> 00:40:48.550
And as we do, Rin is going to, she's going to

00:40:48.550 --> 00:40:53.309
say, I remember that we're all a little squishy.

00:40:53.849 --> 00:40:56.329
How about I do something about that? And she

00:40:56.329 --> 00:40:59.570
casts aid and gives everybody an extra 15 HP.

00:40:59.929 --> 00:41:02.789
Oh, excellent. That is amazing. Is that temp

00:41:02.789 --> 00:41:06.469
HP? No, that is max HP. What? For eight hours.

00:41:07.710 --> 00:41:11.469
Whoa. Okay. That's crazy. Okay. I did it last

00:41:11.469 --> 00:41:16.250
time, just not that level. All right. You cast

00:41:16.250 --> 00:41:18.730
this spell. Everyone feels invigorated, vitality

00:41:18.730 --> 00:41:20.449
growing. Jaune's shivering seems to cool down

00:41:20.449 --> 00:41:23.730
just a little bit. Still cold, but this is emboldening

00:41:23.730 --> 00:41:25.989
him, and you're all moving together, moving up.

00:41:26.130 --> 00:41:28.530
You don't know the best way to the actual top

00:41:28.530 --> 00:41:29.909
of this thing, but you know if you go up the

00:41:29.909 --> 00:41:32.230
slope, you'll find the summit, right? And you

00:41:32.230 --> 00:41:38.530
have to. And so you move and move. Rinbell breaking

00:41:38.530 --> 00:41:40.530
the whole encounter with her 15 HP and everybody,

00:41:40.769 --> 00:41:42.730
and also breaking the whole way to the encounter,

00:41:42.929 --> 00:41:44.449
because I found out before this that you have

00:41:44.449 --> 00:41:48.849
a 20 passive perception. So as Rinbell's moving

00:41:48.849 --> 00:41:53.369
along, he's like, hey, stop there. Give me a,

00:41:53.369 --> 00:41:56.409
give me a, oh, stop right there. Can't do your

00:41:56.409 --> 00:42:02.579
voice. Stop right there. You see a pitfall trap

00:42:02.579 --> 00:42:05.639
covered in snow and leaves just ahead. Moving

00:42:05.639 --> 00:42:09.099
along, you see like a line across the trees that

00:42:09.099 --> 00:42:10.360
as you kind of take it in, you realize would

00:42:10.360 --> 00:42:14.820
activate a swinging log trap. You just see a

00:42:14.820 --> 00:42:17.320
number of traps like nets and more snares along

00:42:17.320 --> 00:42:19.280
the way. With your 20 perception, we're not going

00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:21.500
to do any rolls because that would just automatically

00:42:21.500 --> 00:42:23.300
kind of catch them all out. You have an eagle

00:42:23.300 --> 00:42:25.679
eye for this. Once again, the whole party saved

00:42:25.679 --> 00:42:32.739
because Rinbell. happen to show up. And you move.

00:42:34.380 --> 00:42:39.480
Give me a con save for the first hour. For Jaune

00:42:39.480 --> 00:42:41.300
or for all of us? For Jaune. You guys have two

00:42:41.300 --> 00:42:42.820
rings of war with the rim bells covered in feathers.

00:42:42.980 --> 00:42:44.639
I'm not going to count that. Let me just make

00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:52.780
sure I have his... Oh no. Five. Okay. Take an

00:42:52.780 --> 00:42:56.980
exhaustion token. Oh gosh. Oof. Poor Jaune. Put

00:42:56.980 --> 00:42:58.639
it on Jaune before the encounter. That's fun.

00:42:59.940 --> 00:43:01.980
He's getting a little, slowing down just a little

00:43:01.980 --> 00:43:06.260
bit. I'm coming. I sure can't wait to get back

00:43:06.260 --> 00:43:10.039
to the bath. He's just moving along behind you.

00:43:11.139 --> 00:43:13.539
I'm sorry, Jaune. I don't have anything for you.

00:43:13.599 --> 00:43:15.900
No, I'm fine. Looking through my inventory. I

00:43:15.900 --> 00:43:17.239
don't need anything. I don't need help. I'm fine.

00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:20.280
I'm wonderful. I feel great. Teeth chattering

00:43:20.280 --> 00:43:23.420
as he smiles. Teeth? Tortles? I don't know. Anyway.

00:43:25.969 --> 00:43:30.389
Give me a second hour. And minus one on this

00:43:30.389 --> 00:43:34.030
because of exhaustion. Minus one, you said? Yeah.

00:43:34.110 --> 00:43:39.809
Okay, so 13. He's all right. All right. He kind

00:43:39.809 --> 00:43:42.090
of grits himself. He wants to stand up now because

00:43:42.090 --> 00:43:44.030
you picked on him until that. He's like, no,

00:43:44.090 --> 00:43:46.590
I can do this. I can do this. So he kind of like

00:43:46.590 --> 00:43:50.349
holds firm and he does not grow any more tired,

00:43:50.449 --> 00:43:52.670
any more weakened as you begin to approach the

00:43:52.670 --> 00:43:56.420
point where the trees fall away. The snow picking

00:43:56.420 --> 00:43:59.539
up in flurries. You're moving over looser ground.

00:43:59.880 --> 00:44:02.480
Who's leading this thing? We're hikers. Who's

00:44:02.480 --> 00:44:05.699
the trail breaker? Because that sucks. Yeah,

00:44:05.699 --> 00:44:09.480
I guess Blanche is probably in the lead with

00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:12.739
Sean behind, maybe. Oh, yeah. And Rendell kind

00:44:12.739 --> 00:44:15.000
of moving around the sides, watching for traps,

00:44:15.079 --> 00:44:17.500
keeping you guys updated with that high passive

00:44:17.500 --> 00:44:20.099
perception. And Jeremy's strumming on his lute.

00:44:20.980 --> 00:44:23.920
Yeah. Hey. Just thought, can I use Performance

00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:27.219
of Creation to make something for Jean? Yes,

00:44:27.219 --> 00:44:29.760
you can. Yeah. Medium size or large size item.

00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:32.500
That's fun. What are you making? Yeah. What about

00:44:32.500 --> 00:44:34.119
cold weather gear? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

00:44:34.340 --> 00:44:37.219
What's it look like? Yeah. Santa Claus? You know

00:44:37.219 --> 00:44:40.800
what? Fuck it. Yeah. Jean Franklin dressed as

00:44:40.800 --> 00:44:43.179
Santa Claus. I feel like a jolly. This is wonderful.

00:44:43.900 --> 00:44:46.659
Maybe a little more functional. Okay. Yeah. All

00:44:46.659 --> 00:44:51.300
right. So give me my cloak back. What? Take this.

00:44:53.250 --> 00:44:57.829
He kind of, oh, damn, this is kind of stylish,

00:44:57.929 --> 00:44:59.909
actually. There's coming different colors. Red's

00:44:59.909 --> 00:45:01.610
really not mine. I'm kind of more of a winter.

00:45:02.730 --> 00:45:04.869
It works well with the grain of your skin, John.

00:45:05.670 --> 00:45:08.090
You know what? You might be right. Let's see

00:45:08.090 --> 00:45:10.030
what that damn little Jew has to say about it

00:45:10.030 --> 00:45:11.630
when I get back home. And we will get back home,

00:45:11.710 --> 00:45:16.110
damn it. Just almost there. You're moving up.

00:45:16.610 --> 00:45:19.630
You're moving up. Jaune is no longer shivering,

00:45:19.690 --> 00:45:21.409
feeling a little more confident. He's got his

00:45:21.409 --> 00:45:24.670
makeshift spear and shield. So remember, it's

00:45:24.670 --> 00:45:30.610
going to be 18 AC. Okay, AC 18. And you hit the

00:45:30.610 --> 00:45:32.369
point where you can see the top of the mountain.

00:45:32.570 --> 00:45:35.070
You can see the sky looming above it. You can

00:45:35.070 --> 00:45:39.730
see the end in sight. And you know, and you fully

00:45:39.730 --> 00:45:42.510
know this is a trap, right? I mean, the only

00:45:42.510 --> 00:45:44.190
reason they're calling you out here rather than

00:45:44.190 --> 00:45:46.050
hunting you down is because they are fully ready

00:45:46.050 --> 00:45:48.860
for you. And you're going to have a bad time.

00:45:48.900 --> 00:45:50.059
So as you're looking at the top of this mountain,

00:45:50.099 --> 00:45:52.780
you can see a winding path leads up the front.

00:45:53.500 --> 00:45:55.119
And you can see any other way you're going to

00:45:55.119 --> 00:45:57.460
go. And maybe it's reversible, but there's basically

00:45:57.460 --> 00:46:02.280
a sheer rock granite cliff, a straight drop you

00:46:02.280 --> 00:46:05.360
need to climb. Now, Blanche, you're a tactician.

00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:06.820
You know that if it's a trap, they're going to

00:46:06.820 --> 00:46:08.480
have everyone set towards the easy path, right?

00:46:09.079 --> 00:46:11.039
Because that's the way these things go. They're

00:46:11.039 --> 00:46:12.579
not going to need to climb up the rock wall because

00:46:12.579 --> 00:46:16.210
they don't realize how insane you might be. Let

00:46:16.210 --> 00:46:17.710
me ask you guys what you want to do as you're

00:46:17.710 --> 00:46:20.050
getting close to this. How do you want to proceed?

00:46:20.590 --> 00:46:22.789
You're looking out and you can see the terrain

00:46:22.789 --> 00:46:24.849
right here. You can look at it from the bottom.

00:46:25.429 --> 00:46:27.809
You are too far away to make out every single

00:46:27.809 --> 00:46:29.769
thing or figure on it, so keep that in mind.

00:46:30.369 --> 00:46:33.389
But you are aware of the shape of it. You can

00:46:33.389 --> 00:46:36.730
see vaguely the ruins above, the tips of the

00:46:36.730 --> 00:46:39.690
rooftops protruding out beneath the snowfall.

00:46:41.289 --> 00:46:44.710
As we get closer, if... We realize that we're

00:46:44.710 --> 00:46:49.769
starting to reach the top here. I want to try

00:46:49.769 --> 00:46:56.429
casting Find Familiar. I want to see if Turbo,

00:46:56.690 --> 00:47:00.989
Blanche's little bat familiar, can fly. Oh, that's

00:47:00.989 --> 00:47:03.110
interesting. So you stop for a moment, cast the

00:47:03.110 --> 00:47:10.030
spell. Bat appears. I like that a lot. Now, you

00:47:10.030 --> 00:47:12.289
were affected by the Horn of Erekard, and so

00:47:12.289 --> 00:47:17.449
you are essentially groundlocked. But Turbo did

00:47:17.449 --> 00:47:19.269
not. It doesn't apply to Turbo. You're right.

00:47:19.329 --> 00:47:22.389
No, I like it. I like it. Turbo is able to take

00:47:22.389 --> 00:47:25.590
off and fly above. You see through Turbo's eyes?

00:47:26.250 --> 00:47:29.409
Yeah. So Turbo can get as far as 100 feet away.

00:47:31.750 --> 00:47:34.489
And I want to see if we can just get a look at

00:47:34.489 --> 00:47:39.389
our map, essentially. You flip up. Turbo flits

00:47:39.389 --> 00:47:42.010
up, moving above all this sort of mountaintop.

00:47:42.010 --> 00:47:44.050
He's looking down. You're looking down. You see

00:47:44.050 --> 00:47:49.349
a figure standing upon the very top of the mountaintop,

00:47:49.449 --> 00:47:51.909
this like wide platform that builds up the roof

00:47:51.909 --> 00:47:55.769
of sort of a main structure, a main ruin. There's

00:47:55.769 --> 00:47:58.429
another ruin sort of down below that, all kind

00:47:58.429 --> 00:48:01.389
of like sliding down layer by layer to a pathway

00:48:01.389 --> 00:48:05.349
that winds up in the front. You see three. large

00:48:05.349 --> 00:48:07.489
figures, ogres it seems, each with different

00:48:07.489 --> 00:48:10.130
very nasty looking huge weapons all riding upon

00:48:10.130 --> 00:48:13.250
these ripper hogs. I'll say you know what they're

00:48:13.250 --> 00:48:15.550
called because I want to play that game of saying

00:48:15.550 --> 00:48:20.250
other words. These huge nasty looking half hog

00:48:20.250 --> 00:48:22.969
creatures with these spines jutting out the front.

00:48:23.130 --> 00:48:27.010
They look vicious as do their riders. It's a

00:48:27.010 --> 00:48:30.639
three of each. You also see, as you're zooming

00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:34.199
around, six more boars, armored boars, most of

00:48:34.199 --> 00:48:36.460
which seem to be focused on the back and sides,

00:48:36.639 --> 00:48:38.900
kind of watching over the cliffs in case anyone

00:48:38.900 --> 00:48:42.539
wants to move up that way. So small guys are

00:48:42.539 --> 00:48:44.389
on the back where it's harder to get to. Big

00:48:44.389 --> 00:48:46.570
guys front loaded. And the very top of all on

00:48:46.570 --> 00:48:48.650
that platform, the very, very apex of the mountain,

00:48:48.809 --> 00:48:53.909
you see a figure, big orange beard, huge ogre

00:48:53.909 --> 00:48:57.750
frame, nasty looking chain sickle kind of hanging

00:48:57.750 --> 00:49:02.150
out of the side, huge crossbow on his back, nasty

00:49:02.150 --> 00:49:05.929
looking smile as he takes it all in. You can

00:49:05.929 --> 00:49:10.030
see and hear, correct? Yes. Okay. I think it's

00:49:10.030 --> 00:49:13.760
either or. But yeah, basically. Okay, let's say

00:49:13.760 --> 00:49:16.980
we're switching back and forth. Maybe you see

00:49:16.980 --> 00:49:19.420
that the figure begins to speak, and so you're

00:49:19.420 --> 00:49:22.179
hearing to listen to what's going on. You can

00:49:22.179 --> 00:49:24.960
hear the one on top. The one you must imagine

00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:28.079
to be this Gordo Ramseer begins to shout out,

00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:32.079
How's killing? Listen up for a briot! You hear

00:49:32.079 --> 00:49:35.280
down below, Yes, chief! Our prize should be coming

00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:37.980
upon us soon. Last I checked, they said we've

00:49:37.980 --> 00:49:40.199
got another in their party, a dwarf. Keep your

00:49:40.199 --> 00:49:43.099
eyes on her and take her eyes when you can. Ha,

00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:46.099
ha, ha, ha. I want a good messy hunt. Keep it

00:49:46.099 --> 00:49:48.699
bloody, keep it painful. No poisons, no meat

00:49:48.699 --> 00:49:51.099
spoilage. Got it? You ruin a carcass, you don't

00:49:51.099 --> 00:49:53.480
get to join the feast. Take special care with

00:49:53.480 --> 00:49:55.219
the turtles. I've got the broth already boiled

00:49:55.219 --> 00:49:58.320
inside for the turtle soup. Now prove to me you're

00:49:58.320 --> 00:50:01.800
not a useless lot of oafs, eh? Focus up and follow

00:50:01.800 --> 00:50:05.019
the lead of your Sioux chief. Yes, chief! Ah,

00:50:05.159 --> 00:50:08.500
you hear this echoing out. Figures kind of...

00:50:08.800 --> 00:50:12.400
Getting focused. You can hear the confidence,

00:50:12.659 --> 00:50:16.440
the vitriol, and that voice blanch. You focus

00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:19.820
back to sight. Everyone standing in position.

00:50:19.880 --> 00:50:26.139
They are ready for you. And you return. So...

00:50:26.139 --> 00:50:31.559
I'm thinking... Well, I guess I don't know. I'd

00:50:31.559 --> 00:50:35.559
like to ask, should we sneak around and try to

00:50:35.559 --> 00:50:38.920
get Gordo? Because once he's down, the rest will

00:50:38.920 --> 00:50:42.619
give up. He said the hunt will end. Yeah, you

00:50:42.619 --> 00:50:44.199
don't know what that means necessarily, but yeah.

00:50:44.300 --> 00:50:46.300
He said he believes that you are trapped here

00:50:46.300 --> 00:50:50.059
until he is killed. So perhaps whatever spell

00:50:50.059 --> 00:50:53.760
has brought you here could end if he dies. Should

00:50:53.760 --> 00:50:59.699
we try to skip over his hunters or go at them

00:50:59.699 --> 00:51:04.860
head on? Maybe while we're still strong. Maybe

00:51:04.860 --> 00:51:06.320
go at them head on while we're still strong?

00:51:08.409 --> 00:51:11.050
Okay. Hell yeah, going head on. Do anyone want

00:51:11.050 --> 00:51:12.789
to roll Arcana check? I'd give a Rinbell advantage

00:51:12.789 --> 00:51:15.110
on this because you are a little more aware of

00:51:15.110 --> 00:51:21.929
everything going on here. 16 for Blanche. 24

00:51:21.929 --> 00:51:28.550
for Rinbell. Woof! Okay. Rinbell. This artifact

00:51:28.550 --> 00:51:31.050
you've been seeking, it must be this Horn of

00:51:31.050 --> 00:51:33.920
Erekard mentioned. Now, you all heard the horn

00:51:33.920 --> 00:51:35.800
as you were drawn in. Obviously, if there's a

00:51:35.800 --> 00:51:38.599
horn, someone had to have blown the horn, which

00:51:38.599 --> 00:51:40.360
must have cast the spell, the Transcendental

00:51:40.360 --> 00:51:42.880
Magic that brought you here, that landlocked

00:51:42.880 --> 00:51:47.039
you to the surface of the mountain. So, based

00:51:47.039 --> 00:51:49.139
on the nature of this magic, this enchantment

00:51:49.139 --> 00:51:52.039
that covers you and your allies, and based on

00:51:52.039 --> 00:51:54.739
what was said, you'd think that Gordo Ramseer

00:51:54.739 --> 00:51:57.059
is the one that called you here. And in some

00:51:57.059 --> 00:52:00.260
way, he is holding the spell together. To kill

00:52:00.260 --> 00:52:03.719
him would free you. And it might just send you

00:52:03.719 --> 00:52:07.320
back. You don't know time -wise how that looks.

00:52:07.320 --> 00:52:09.019
There's a cooldown before you get sent back.

00:52:09.099 --> 00:52:11.480
But you know that if you kill him, you probably

00:52:11.480 --> 00:52:14.139
can get out of here scot -free. There's only

00:52:14.139 --> 00:52:17.280
one target that needs to die here. But it is

00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:20.639
the hardest one to reach. Obviously, Rainbow

00:52:20.639 --> 00:52:24.360
shares that information. Tell everybody. All

00:52:24.360 --> 00:52:29.829
right. You're all on the same page. Yeah. Let's

00:52:29.829 --> 00:52:33.550
keep moving forward. John, stay behind me. Let's

00:52:33.550 --> 00:52:36.869
see if we can get through these first few riders

00:52:36.869 --> 00:52:43.010
quickly. You continue moving up the path. Hell

00:52:43.010 --> 00:52:49.750
yeah, I love this. You move up towards the open

00:52:49.750 --> 00:52:53.130
sky, towards that sloped summit, towards those

00:52:53.130 --> 00:52:57.449
ruins, towards your deaths. And as you hit the

00:52:57.449 --> 00:53:00.739
very bottom of this, Touch the edge of this map

00:53:00.739 --> 00:53:04.000
as it curves around the front. This long trail

00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:07.699
that leads around and up. You can hear behind

00:53:07.699 --> 00:53:12.800
of you just like... The sound of some beast snarling.

00:53:12.820 --> 00:53:16.099
You look up and see one of these figures looking

00:53:16.099 --> 00:53:22.619
down at you. A figure wearing a large mall. Smiles.

00:53:22.619 --> 00:53:27.579
Oh, good. Me first then. And beyond him, above

00:53:27.579 --> 00:53:29.599
him, on top of a rooftop, another one of these

00:53:29.599 --> 00:53:33.800
ogre riders holds a war horn to his lips and

00:53:33.800 --> 00:53:41.440
they're ready for you. It's time to fight. Roll

00:53:41.440 --> 00:53:49.139
for initiative. All right. Ooh. 22 for Blanche.

00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:55.679
That is a three. For Jules. Oh, no. Woof. Oof.

00:53:56.659 --> 00:53:59.760
That is an eight for Rimbaud. Okay. I got you.

00:53:59.760 --> 00:54:02.239
All right. That's a two for Jean. Oh, my God.

00:54:02.239 --> 00:54:04.139
Blanche is fighting alone. This is good. I like

00:54:04.139 --> 00:54:15.260
this. Oh, no. Okay, then. With that, we're going

00:54:15.260 --> 00:54:17.059
to start initiative. Where the heck is Blanche?

00:54:17.760 --> 00:54:21.409
Blanche, let's put you guys on the map. Rinbell,

00:54:21.530 --> 00:54:24.469
would you have anything to lower their strength

00:54:24.469 --> 00:54:30.730
score, perhaps? Potentially. I fear these riders

00:54:30.730 --> 00:54:35.829
are going to be quite strong. You can't see yourselves

00:54:35.829 --> 00:54:37.630
where you are sitting right now, but you are

00:54:37.630 --> 00:54:39.969
on a small path leading up around the edge. The

00:54:39.969 --> 00:54:44.670
figure that spoke to you, the ogre rider, is...

00:54:45.519 --> 00:54:48.119
about 40 feet above, looking down upon you. So

00:54:48.119 --> 00:54:49.619
as you have a little bit of time getting to where

00:54:49.619 --> 00:54:52.019
you are right now, you have the initiative here,

00:54:52.099 --> 00:54:53.760
Blanche. How do you want to handle this? You

00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:55.139
can move around the front, try to get a view

00:54:55.139 --> 00:54:57.300
on everybody else. You can try climbing the rock

00:54:57.300 --> 00:54:59.260
wall to get up to this figure. What do you want

00:54:59.260 --> 00:55:03.619
to do? Yeah. What would it take for Blanche to

00:55:03.619 --> 00:55:08.099
get further up the wall towards this guy? The

00:55:08.099 --> 00:55:11.610
wall next to you is about 25 feet high. It's

00:55:11.610 --> 00:55:13.969
pretty open, pretty craggy, snowy and icy in

00:55:13.969 --> 00:55:15.489
some parts, but I think you can climb this thing

00:55:15.489 --> 00:55:18.650
with a DC 16 athletics check. Okay. Take your

00:55:18.650 --> 00:55:20.210
full movement to reach the top of the first sort

00:55:20.210 --> 00:55:23.409
of bound. He'd be close to you still, but you

00:55:23.409 --> 00:55:28.010
wouldn't be on him yet. Okay. I can do something

00:55:28.010 --> 00:55:31.230
really cool if I can get up there. So let's try

00:55:31.230 --> 00:55:38.230
it. And I've got my bardic that I can add. So

00:55:38.230 --> 00:55:43.769
acrobatics. Oh, and the music stopped. Oh, no.

00:55:45.070 --> 00:55:47.550
I'm going to have to almost max this die out

00:55:47.550 --> 00:55:50.630
to get it. No, I will. No, yeah, almost. I'm

00:55:50.630 --> 00:55:54.550
going to six. I got a seven. Seventeen. Oh, shoot.

00:55:54.650 --> 00:56:00.550
Okay. Yeah. Okay. Oh, hell yeah. Glitch. Seeing

00:56:00.550 --> 00:56:03.250
this guy leaps up against boom, boom. Climbing

00:56:03.250 --> 00:56:06.739
the wall. Muscles flexing. So now here's the

00:56:06.739 --> 00:56:08.900
hard part. You have 10 more feet of speed because

00:56:08.900 --> 00:56:10.320
of Bladesong? No, you didn't Bladesong yet. Never

00:56:10.320 --> 00:56:11.679
mind. Yeah, Bladesong's only a minute long. Let's

00:56:11.679 --> 00:56:15.539
go on. Hell yeah. So this is the hard part because

00:56:15.539 --> 00:56:17.119
I'm guessing this guy's strength save is going

00:56:17.119 --> 00:56:19.940
to be really high. But I really want to try this.

00:56:20.980 --> 00:56:24.739
I'm going to cast Lightning Lore and try to pull

00:56:24.739 --> 00:56:27.699
him down the cliff. Here's the weird question.

00:56:28.159 --> 00:56:31.579
Who are you counting on? The Ripper Hog or the

00:56:31.579 --> 00:56:34.900
Rider? So you have this nasty little snarling

00:56:34.900 --> 00:56:38.960
creature, stamping, looking at you, slobbering

00:56:38.960 --> 00:56:41.159
down. You have the rider kind of smiling under

00:56:41.159 --> 00:56:44.440
a helm, brutal -looking spiked armor kind of

00:56:44.440 --> 00:56:48.000
facing you down. Who do you hit? Well, what do

00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:50.980
we think? If it's the Ripper Hog, the Ripper

00:56:50.980 --> 00:56:52.780
Hog, I'm going to guess, has a higher strength

00:56:52.780 --> 00:56:56.179
save. But if we pull the Ripper Hog, we pull

00:56:56.179 --> 00:56:58.619
them both down the cliff and do damage to both.

00:56:59.559 --> 00:57:01.960
Let's go for broke. Let's pull the Ripper Hog.

00:57:02.400 --> 00:57:08.420
Okay. So, strength save, or they get pulled 10

00:57:08.420 --> 00:57:10.480
feet in a straight line towards me. It's pretty

00:57:10.480 --> 00:57:12.639
high. Which I'm guessing and hoping is falling

00:57:12.639 --> 00:57:13.780
down the cliff here. It's pretty high. You have

00:57:13.780 --> 00:57:19.460
no buttons yet to save you. 21. Yeah, it's not

00:57:19.460 --> 00:57:23.519
even close. Shoot out, hit the river hog, kind

00:57:23.519 --> 00:57:27.480
of snarls, as sparks go off of it, and the guy

00:57:27.480 --> 00:57:31.480
just smiles. Is that all you got? This is going

00:57:31.480 --> 00:57:36.000
to be easy. If there's anything anybody can do

00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:38.380
to help me get that Ripper Hog down here, maybe

00:57:38.380 --> 00:57:41.760
next turn. You forget, they don't get turns.

00:57:41.900 --> 00:57:44.500
They're way back on. Anything else you can do,

00:57:44.599 --> 00:57:47.699
Blanche? I can't reach for a Sword Strike, so

00:57:47.699 --> 00:57:50.460
no. That's it for Blanche. This is going to suck

00:57:50.460 --> 00:57:53.940
for you. Yes, you'll be bad. Oh, okay. Sorry,

00:57:54.079 --> 00:57:56.099
sorry. Bonus action. Bonus action. I'm going

00:57:56.099 --> 00:57:59.719
to use my Blade Song again. Back into Blade Song.

00:57:59.940 --> 00:58:02.550
Get that AC boost. I feel like I'm going to need

00:58:02.550 --> 00:58:05.309
it. That would be a very, very good move because

00:58:05.309 --> 00:58:08.309
next up, as the horn, ooh, the blade song sound.

00:58:09.210 --> 00:58:12.909
Hell yeah. As that smaller war horn blares out,

00:58:13.090 --> 00:58:15.349
as people begin to shout, as you are fully made

00:58:15.349 --> 00:58:18.409
aware of here, you can see a figure begins to

00:58:18.409 --> 00:58:21.909
step up towards the edge at the top of this cliff,

00:58:21.989 --> 00:58:24.269
looking down upon you where you stand, multiple

00:58:24.269 --> 00:58:29.050
layers below. Gordo Ramseer looks down at you.

00:58:29.940 --> 00:58:33.760
Oi, stop joking and get him killed, yeah? Here,

00:58:33.960 --> 00:58:37.599
let me show you how it's done. Draws out the

00:58:37.599 --> 00:58:40.079
massive crossbow, the bolt launcher from his

00:58:40.079 --> 00:58:43.400
back and looks down to you. Luckily, I can only

00:58:43.400 --> 00:58:45.019
do this once per turn. Everything else is out

00:58:45.019 --> 00:58:49.500
of my range. So, but I do have 120 feet, let

00:58:49.500 --> 00:58:51.659
me check. I was gonna ask you how far this was,

00:58:51.800 --> 00:58:54.960
yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're done for. Oh, this is

00:58:54.960 --> 00:58:58.570
so much fun at this heads. Okay. Ready for this?

00:58:58.570 --> 00:59:03.889
Ready for this? Come on. That's going to be an

00:59:03.889 --> 00:59:07.969
11? Yeah. Not even close. Okay. Full blast out.

00:59:08.710 --> 00:59:11.690
Foley over your head. Smashes down into the snow.

00:59:12.170 --> 00:59:15.349
The ogre kind of laughs. And the one on top is

00:59:15.349 --> 00:59:18.369
kind of like, Hey! Quit your joking, idiot. Fight

00:59:18.369 --> 00:59:21.010
them. Hunt them down. Make it bloody. Remember

00:59:21.010 --> 00:59:24.150
the plan. Guy's just like staring down at you.

00:59:24.800 --> 00:59:26.619
You're okay. I can't do anything else to you

00:59:26.619 --> 00:59:30.360
right now. But your buddy here, right beside

00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:33.579
you, can. This is fun because everyone is going

00:59:33.579 --> 00:59:38.940
to go before anyone else. All right. So. Hog

00:59:38.940 --> 00:59:41.900
first. That's going to be a 13 to hit. Not going

00:59:41.900 --> 00:59:44.940
to hit. Was that a question? Oh, no. Yeah, definitely

00:59:44.940 --> 00:59:48.079
not. He's going to drop down to reach you. So

00:59:48.079 --> 00:59:52.900
I actually... It's about... just under where

00:59:52.900 --> 00:59:54.320
it would take damage to come down. I'm doing

00:59:54.320 --> 00:59:56.380
it more like purposefully, so. So now he's at

00:59:56.380 --> 01:00:00.000
the top of the 25 -foot cliff? Yes. Now at the

01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.360
very edge of the 25 -foot cliff, moves up towards

01:00:02.360 --> 01:00:04.500
you, Blanche, where you stand. Your allies are

01:00:04.500 --> 01:00:06.059
looking up and you see this huge figure slide

01:00:06.059 --> 01:00:09.500
up next to you, this big shadow above. I'm going

01:00:09.500 --> 01:00:12.340
to make two attacks on the other guy because

01:00:12.340 --> 01:00:21.650
the hog missed. So bad. Okay. All right. Wow.

01:00:23.110 --> 01:00:24.949
Misses you twice. Tries to slide in with his

01:00:24.949 --> 01:00:29.429
hammer. You hold against it. It's going to be

01:00:29.429 --> 01:00:31.789
so much fun. I don't know what I can do because

01:00:31.789 --> 01:00:37.269
it's really fun. But I don't do it. They're going

01:00:37.269 --> 01:00:41.630
to start moving. Oh, they're all going to come

01:00:41.630 --> 01:00:46.690
closer. Okay. So all at once. Oh, lovely. What

01:00:46.690 --> 01:00:48.500
did you think was going to happen? I don't know.

01:00:48.579 --> 01:00:49.880
I was hoping they would wait their turns. Just

01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:52.119
chill out and party? I was hoping they'd be real

01:00:52.119 --> 01:00:55.719
polite and honorable. There's a boar next to

01:00:55.719 --> 01:00:58.440
you. Snort, snort. It's right next to you now.

01:00:58.940 --> 01:01:01.820
Put it behind you. Going to get that wonderful,

01:01:02.099 --> 01:01:04.099
beautiful flanking plus two. How many baddies

01:01:04.099 --> 01:01:08.440
can fit on that ledge, huh? Yikes. Yeah, you're

01:01:08.440 --> 01:01:11.030
done for. Let me do this so that guy holding

01:01:11.030 --> 01:01:13.010
this, everyone starts moving closer. So one guy's

01:01:13.010 --> 01:01:15.170
just rounding the slope, coming around charging.

01:01:15.269 --> 01:01:17.150
One guy's going to move off the, the horn guy's

01:01:17.150 --> 01:01:19.210
moving off the rooftop above you and moving around

01:01:19.210 --> 01:01:21.630
the long way because I don't want to jump down,

01:01:21.690 --> 01:01:23.969
you know, 15, 20 feet and get hurt and break

01:01:23.969 --> 01:01:25.670
my boar's legs. So I'm not going to do that.

01:01:26.349 --> 01:01:28.909
But don't worry, they'll be on you soon. Oh,

01:01:28.909 --> 01:01:31.869
that boar can't actually move yet because Rinbell

01:01:31.869 --> 01:01:35.349
goes first. It's a small actual armored boar.

01:01:35.639 --> 01:01:37.860
Stays where it was. Rinbell, you're up. Everyone's

01:01:37.860 --> 01:01:39.500
moving in. You see things are opening up to a

01:01:39.500 --> 01:01:43.320
pretty bad start. Okay, so where am I? You are

01:01:43.320 --> 01:01:45.820
25 feet below where Blanche stands on this cliff.

01:01:46.280 --> 01:01:48.500
Around this corner right now where my finger's

01:01:48.500 --> 01:01:52.840
pointing. Behind this tree. Not having any idea

01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:55.940
if this is going to work or not, Rin's going

01:01:55.940 --> 01:01:58.079
to misty step next to Blanche if she can. Oh,

01:01:58.079 --> 01:02:01.300
cool. Nice. That's good. 30 feet. Yeah, no, that's

01:02:01.300 --> 01:02:05.949
fine. Okay. You'll have to move a little bit

01:02:05.949 --> 01:02:07.489
to get there, but I believe, yeah. Yeah, sure.

01:02:07.570 --> 01:02:09.630
Whatever I need to get and then get the 30 plus

01:02:09.630 --> 01:02:12.710
30 to get by Blanche. Hell yeah. Two figures

01:02:12.710 --> 01:02:15.670
now staying 30 feet off the top. Getting to the

01:02:15.670 --> 01:02:18.829
first open layer of this multi -layered cliff

01:02:18.829 --> 01:02:20.989
facing down. This guy, what are you doing now?

01:02:21.409 --> 01:02:24.230
That's a purpose action, right? Yes. And then

01:02:24.230 --> 01:02:27.929
she's going to reach over to Blanche and touch

01:02:27.929 --> 01:02:35.250
her sword and cast Holy Weapon. Whoa. Okay. Extra

01:02:35.250 --> 01:02:39.329
2d8. Okay, that's going to be great. Oh, now

01:02:39.329 --> 01:02:42.329
I've got a plan. Now I've got a plan. That sounds

01:02:42.329 --> 01:02:47.150
amazing. Okay. Is that me? That's it for her.

01:02:49.269 --> 01:02:51.349
So now we're dropping down right next to Rinbell.

01:02:51.869 --> 01:02:53.789
Here's what I'm going to do. My boar is going

01:02:53.789 --> 01:02:55.829
to drop down. It's going to land sort of diagonal

01:02:55.829 --> 01:02:57.809
to you, Rinbell, kind of facing more inwards

01:02:57.809 --> 01:03:00.530
into the cliff. Kind of moving into some brush

01:03:00.530 --> 01:03:06.119
here. I'm going to look down at you. And this

01:03:06.119 --> 01:03:08.599
boar is going to do something fun. It's going

01:03:08.599 --> 01:03:12.679
to do something really, really, really fun. Because

01:03:12.679 --> 01:03:16.079
instead of my usual attack action, these guys

01:03:16.079 --> 01:03:17.699
are trained. They know what's up. They're good

01:03:17.699 --> 01:03:21.539
hunters. I'm going to use a shove action. No.

01:03:22.699 --> 01:03:25.659
Shit. I'm going to send you 30 feet down that

01:03:25.659 --> 01:03:29.539
cliff. On who? Rin. On Rin? Oh, yeah. On Rin.

01:03:31.139 --> 01:03:32.579
So what was it going to be? Is it going to be

01:03:32.579 --> 01:03:36.980
an athletics check against your acrobatics? Of

01:03:36.980 --> 01:03:40.619
course it's against acrobatics. Sorry, but thank

01:03:40.619 --> 01:03:42.079
you for what you did for me. You're welcome.

01:03:42.159 --> 01:03:48.360
It was worth it. This is going to be fun. That's

01:03:48.360 --> 01:03:52.559
a three. A three. I wonder if I can beat a three.

01:03:53.860 --> 01:03:57.340
This will be interesting. Let's find out. You

01:03:57.340 --> 01:04:00.610
stand upon this mountain summit. You find yourselves

01:04:00.610 --> 01:04:03.429
very suddenly in this dire situation. Teleported

01:04:03.429 --> 01:04:05.469
this place. Only a few hours have passed since

01:04:05.469 --> 01:04:09.889
you came. Boars striking at you. This chieftain

01:04:09.889 --> 01:04:14.389
stands far above you. Looming over you. Firing

01:04:14.389 --> 01:04:16.630
crossbow bolts down. Your one target you must

01:04:16.630 --> 01:04:20.050
reach. Between you and him is a veritable army.

01:04:20.989 --> 01:04:24.590
Ogres riding these tusk monstrosities. Charging

01:04:24.590 --> 01:04:27.289
you down and they're all coming at you at once.

01:04:28.110 --> 01:04:30.769
Rimbell, you stand up. You cast this spell, giving

01:04:30.769 --> 01:04:32.610
you guys an opening shot to go against this.

01:04:32.710 --> 01:04:35.789
But as you, this magic sort of locks into Blanche's

01:04:35.789 --> 01:04:39.090
blade. As you stand tall, an armor board drops

01:04:39.090 --> 01:04:42.769
down beside you and moves in to shove you off

01:04:42.769 --> 01:04:47.269
the mountainside. And you feel particularly unstable

01:04:47.269 --> 01:04:50.570
as the attack comes. You feel your feet slip.

01:04:50.750 --> 01:04:53.369
You feel the endless abyss sort of falling below

01:04:53.369 --> 01:04:57.210
you. And that's... We're gonna take our 10 minute

01:04:57.210 --> 01:04:59.389
break. So come on back after you done peeing,

01:04:59.389 --> 01:05:01.150
know what you gotta do, because right now, we'll

01:05:01.150 --> 01:05:01.789
call it there!