Welcome aboard, pants people. Do they say welcome
aboard on a starship? Maybe I'll ask our new
friends of the Starship Tempest podcast. Starship
Tempest. A genre -bending Star Trek podcast set
between the times of Captains Kirk and Picard
that brings you an actual play campaign. Two,
three, four, five successes. Tell you what, in
retconning, you can make it a difficulty five.
With professionally designed audio drama elements.
Captain, we'll be within range of their weapons
in five seconds. With alacrity holding. Firing.
Hang on! Nick! All while a group of lifelong
friends foiled the GM's attempt at legitimate
storytelling. It's Muppet Man. If you had done
better on the sensor roll, then maybe your sisters
would tell you. Teal's best assessment is, I
think it's Muppet Man. Captain, we got Muppets.
Now rise for the Klingon anthem. Peace depends
on that power generator. So here we are. Remember
your training. Hold the line! Can you tell him
the tale of Gilgamesh? Does that help? Roll to
tell him the tale of Gilgamesh. Warning. Warp
containment critical. All hands abandon ship.
I repeat, all hands abandon ship. While this
is happening, I'm describing the complete plot
of the movie Jack to Governor Cerullo. It is
definitively not Jack. Okay, which is good because
Todd McCarthy of Variety called it tedious, uneventful
fantasy. He just prevented Tashi R from having
a really bad childhood. And fixed that planet,
which was still at war. Yeah. Starship Tempest.
Available wherever you get your podcasts. spice
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see. That was awful. This is like the stupidest
three episodes we've ever done. Dude, I have
one small thing that I want to say that I think
could have made that, however impossible, a little
bit better. What? When he's like, wouldn't you
want this coursing through all of your veins?
That's where I thought he was going. I thought
you were going to say veins. You said limbs,
and I was like, ah. Well, for Handsome Jai, it's
basically a third leg. Well, right. Oh, my God.
We are playing a family game, David. Hey. Hey.
It's still Valentine's Day as you record this
second half tonight, so I want to ask you guys,
have you been lackluster in your personal endeavors
lately? Oh, boy. Not a good banter? Oh, boy.
Well, damn. I'm not feeding into that one. Maybe
we'll have a sponsor someday. Who knows? An appropriate
sponsor someday. Let's avoid love on this day
of love. Instead, I want to talk about something
else. I want to talk about something that I actively
hate. All right? But to segue to I hate, I need
to talk about something that I really, really
like. I've been burning about this one. I want
to talk about this because it's been going on
for a while. NBC's Heroes. It's actually not.
It's worse. It's my most hated thing. But first,
I got to talk about something I really like,
which is also a TV show. It is a TV show, Lost.
All right. You've all seen Lost, right? No. I
know of Lost. You've seen Lost? It's actually
really good. So me and Gabby are watching Lost.
We've been watching it for a while lately. We're
into season two now. We watched it way back when
we were younger and, you know, when we weren't
together. Now we're watching it again together.
And honestly, honestly, season one was... Really
good. Really good. I think Lost at this Legacy
now, that's just like this crummy show, bad show,
because it kind of goes on a little too long,
more than they want it to go on. It gets pretty
convoluted. It's kind of, you know, weird. It's
real fantasy pants, you might say. But honestly,
it's really good. Seasons one and two are solid,
solid. So it upsets me that this is a show that
was created by J .J. Abrams. who is a person
that I currently am very upset with. Have you
seen The Rise of Skywalker? Have you seen The
Rise of Skywalker? Unfortunately, yes. Yes. Yes,
I have. Okay. I despise that movie. I'm so mad
at that movie. What do you mean? It's got the
single greatest line in all of cinema. They fly
now? No. Oh. Oh. So how about Palpatine Returned?
Which line are you talking about? Dude, there
is a treasure trove of bad lines to pick from.
The very last line of the movie. I don't even
want to utter it. I don't even want to. I'm so
mad at that movie. I'm so mad at that fucking
movie because they could have done something
good with it, right? I honestly, I watched the
movie like two years ago, whatever. I am up at
night sometimes just thinking, seething about
how I could have made that movie better. And
you know what? I don't even want to make movies.
I probably couldn't have made it any better,
but still I look at it and it's just so full
of unbelievable flaws, sheer cowardice, avoiding
trying to like do anything or fall upon anything.
It's like, When you're making up movie series
on the fly, right? When you're making a trilogy
up on the fly and you don't know what the fucking
plan is, that's called improv. And one rule of
improv is yes and. They just no -butted the entire
second movie. I didn't love The Last Jedi, but
don't no -butt the whole second movie. You make
the movie pointless, right? Sure, yeah. Stupid,
cowardly, vile, incompetent mess of a movie,
and they fly now. And I'm mad about it. Anyway,
anyway. What movie do you guys hate the most?
You know a movie like that? Some blood boil you?
I can't think of anything. Make you want to vomit
in the sheets. On the fly. But I bet you I can
remember one by next week. Okay. You know what?
All right. I'm not like a huge movie buff. And
even movies that I like, I can't like re -watch
a movie. If I see a movie, even if it's one that
I really love, it's got to be like a year or
two before I can watch it again. So if I come
across a movie that I don't like, I'm simply
just not going to watch it. Like I have a...
I have a fairly recent memory of a movie I went
to see with Rachel in the theater in Lancaster
within like the past year or two. And I remember
really disliking the movie. I already don't remember
what movie it was. How do you have that? I want
that level of zen where I can just let go of
the things I hate. Yeah, I already don't remember
what it was. You are truly a Jedi amongst us.
I'm going to try to look it up. You're just kind
of like, ah, feel the peace, let the force flow.
I'm just like, goo, let the hate flow through
you. The rise of Skywalker will bring you to
the dark side of the force. It brought me. It
brought me. What are you looking up? You don't
even know what the movie is called. Yeah, I know.
I literally am looking up movies that came out
in 2024. Okay. Let's give Steven a minute. We
got a vamp. No, I assumed you were going to say
something nonsensical. We can talk more about
The Rise of Skywalker, but we need about 30 minutes
for me to get through that one. I'm very mad
about it. I just don't understand why they didn't
continue Kylo Ren as the main villain, right?
I understand they want to have the redemption
arc, blah, blah, blah. He didn't need it, and
it was better if he didn't have it because they
built up so long that Kylo Ren was going to be
more powerful when he cut all the good out of
him, right? It's like the story of he killed
every person that mattered the most to him. He
only had to kill one more who died in the movie
anyway. He could have killed Leia, right? Boom.
Start the movie off with that. Bam. He goes full
dark side because he's finally cut the last string
of light from him. And then he gets more powerful
because the dark force is surging through him,
which makes him a serious villain again. Because
I understand he got beat twice. So how do you
make a villain scary when he's beaten twice?
You make him stronger. Sorry. You just double
down. Double down on that shit. Double down on
The Last Jedi. Don't be a coward. JJ. But I really
like Lost, so thank you for that. It's Rey. What?
Skywalker. Damn you. Mufasa was the movie that
I saw with Rachel in that theater and I didn't
like it. Oh, poo. Yeah. I remember coming in
the next day and complaining to you, Jeremy,
about all the reasons why I didn't like it. Yeah.
I don't really remember what any of those reasons
are anymore. I don't remember either. Yeah. So
anyway, we're sponsored by Disney tonight. The
animation was a little creepy to me. Shitting
on Disney movies. Yeah. So I don't know. Hate's
a strong word. I don't really hate movies, I
don't think, because they just don't bother me
that much because I forget them. But the missed
potential. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's totally there.
I mean, I don't know. There's like a gazillion
movies that come out every year. Just watch a
better one, I guess. Just watch a better one.
It's like D &D. I'm just trying to answer your
question. I don't hate any movies, really. I
don't have that same vitriol. Anyway, you're
standing in the... I think I gotta make a save
still, right? I think I'm blind. I think Blanche
is blind. Eh, fight's over. You're fine. Wow,
okay, for free? It goes away in a minute. You
just wipe it off. I don't care. I don't care.
Fight's over. You're in the club. You're in handsome
house. Honestly, we'll just pick up where we
left off. Blanche, you're standing, chair knocked
down behind you. Mimics are blabbing. I think
the one, like, people start rushing in. You see
cute Callie, the yuan -ti, sort of breaks from
the crowd and is kind of working with the mimic.
She, like, does some weird, like, touches it
and sort of moves her hand in a weird way on
its back and it kind of just splits out. Sexy
Avan, who comes rolling on the carpet, rolls
up next to Akio in the middle of the chairs,
still kind of blind and lying there. Breathing
hard. Well, that was humiliating. The mimics
actually, like, as sexy Callie sort of slithers
between all of them. Sorry, cute Callie. Get
them all mixed up. Kind of like does a soothing
touch and they all kind of go bleh and kind of
return back. And it looks like maybe these mimics
were more or less tamed as they kind of sort
of fold back into chairs. Tamed, but they did
a boatload of damage to that guy. Tamed by her.
He's playing the game. And that's the game. The
crowd is still cheering, going wild. Chester's
with him. Yeah! Whoa! Jules, did you see that?
You were in that! Oh, shit! I think you see,
like, as, like, everyone's cheering, Callie kind
of moves to the center, starts kind of, like,
fussing over sexy Avan, and maybe, like, flitting
up over the crowd, you do see, maybe it was watching
the whole time from above, this cat -sized purple
dragon with butterfly wings, kind of just still
glazed eyes, kind of, that was pretty good. slides
down and kind of join. And the three of them
kind of come together in the center of this circle
of chairs. I think there's a wave, and the crowd
kind of starts dispersing. That's the one. I
found the word. There you go. Boom. They start
dispersing out, kind of going back to the party.
The party lords have gathered. They've ushered
them away. And so we soon see a large sort of
gap moving here. around our characters. Akio
sleeping. Chester kind of moves up beside you,
Jules. Blanche, you're standing triumphantly
on the back of this chair. Your vision clears.
Wiping her eyes. Yeah. Just frantically. You've
been a bad time. I've had a lot of things in
my face tonight that I don't care for. Yeah.
Yeah. It seems like. As you're kind of recovering
from that, as you gather with Chester, the three
party lords kind of stand and wait. Blanche,
do you want healing? Do you need healing? Probably
not. Okay. Probably not. I'm going to hope not.
You see they're almost like in a huddle in the
middle of the chairs, kind of speaking quietly
to each other, nodding fervently. Yeah, maybe.
Right? Better safe than sorry? Yeah. Make your
second guess. Let's do 16 down. You're 16 down.
Okay. Let's do... Let's do level 2 cure wounds.
It's 2d8 plus 4. You're back at full. I got 17.
Oh, yeah, baby. Come here, Jules. Give me a kiss.
Don't have to tell me twice. It's almost Valentine's
Day. When this episode comes out, it'll be after
Valentine's Day. Two for... Two tonight, folks.
Oh, just cure wounds, you said? Yes. So you had
to move up. So you guys are all gathered together
now. Yeah. So you heal the plants. You're all
on that side by the chair. You look up. Chest
is with you, too. And again, literally just on
top of the sleeping Akio, they're all huddled.
They kind of stop huddling. They break away.
They look over at you. Three sets of eyes, a
fairy dragon, a snake lady. and a white -scaled
lizard folk. Handsome Jai's three sidekicks,
his old sort of guerrilla military squad. You
didn't know that. He did say, I think this actually
happened to mention to you about, he is my squad
leader, my captain, so you would gather that
there may be a history there. From the Civil
War. Yep. Now, sidekicks. Now, this, whatever
this is, party lords, these frivolous, wacky
roles they play, but I think as you look at these
people, As you see something dark in their expressions
as they take you in now, a lot of the humor you've
seen before, it seems to have evaporated. And
I think it strikes you now. You have to wonder,
who are they really? Who is Handsome Jai, really?
I think they've seen some shit. Yeah. What do
you want to do? Well, we won. Yes, what now?
Look at each other and then sexy app and steps
forward. Sorry, yeah, sexy app. Ah! Too many
prefixes. Adjectives. That's the one. You won.
I mean, you impressed all of us. That was something
else. I think you see... If he says but, Blanche
is going to punch him in the nose. Please. You
see he draws out and be like, it's hand -drawn
by Q. Callie. Maybe she was holding it there.
Draws out the lamp, this oil lamp with a constant
sort of rainbow flame flickering. Just this brilliant
bright flame shifting colors. He holds it up.
So, you're in. I don't want to derail this too
much, but do we know anything about Handsome
Jai's patron? Go ahead and roll me a history
check. Oh, yeah. I love rolling me some die,
especially when I've got a decent bonus. What?
22. 22, okay. There's a lot of mystery surrounding
this patron, more just because it's pretty hands
-off. But from what you know, essentially there
was an incident during the war. some great sort
of mission where Jai Raju was going to sacrifice
himself in some alchemically sort of based explosion,
taking out a lot of people with him. uh just
surrounded by enemy forces his squad had been
separated and they managed to get away and as
he did this as he committed this act as he was
essentially going to die he found that he was
instead of in the the fugue plane where you go
when you die his body was fine he was alive instead
somehow during the shockwave of this explosion
he found himself in the plane of earth one of
the four elemental planes that feeds into the
world and here he met In this moment, a great
genie, a Tao genie, a genie of the earth element,
these are grand spirits of the elements, who
offered him a wish. Jai asked for the power to
end the war. All he wanted was to end the war.
And the genie granted him its own power. Good
guy, Jai. Made him a powerful warlock of the
earth element, essentially. And so Jai was brought
back to the world, sent back by the genie, and
he did. Bring an end to that war. Little is known
about exactly what happened following that. I
mean, tales of grand battles have filtered out
from the new empire of Taib, essentially. All
his grand heroic deeds of handsome Jai and his
cohorts. And following all that, they were shoo
-ins to become Illuminarian sidekicks. You keep
talking about alchemical stuff. Is Jai like a...
warlock, artificer, multi -class sort of thing?
From what you know, it's a pretty good roll.
From what you know, he doesn't really make alchemical
things, but Taib is a pretty large world's font
for alchemical concoctions. That's why Karanar
is a big thing there. And he had a lot of backing.
Even during the war, he was able to use them
quite a bit to sort of turn the tide. Probably
used some pretty wild, horrible things. Okay,
that's all of the off -railing that I care to
do. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Lantern's being held.
Do you want to approach it? Or the lamp? That's
what we're here for. Yeah. Let's do it together,
Jules. And Blanche reaches her hand out. Jules
takes her hand. Just the two? Yeah. Just as it
goes in. And I think as you're reaching out,
Avan... kind of puts a hand up. And I think Callie's
the one that speaks. Before you take the plunge
and step into the VIP lounge, I think it's only
right we are transparent with you. Your friend,
Yara, did not approach us under that name. She
called herself Heather Skies. Now we're not idiots.
We'd wondered at the death or disappearance of
mesmerized. Never lies for some time. You seem
to be a compatriot of hers. We're going to warn
you. We know she's up to something. We know she's
come to assassinate Handsome Jai. He knows too.
We've been keeping you busy while he's been interrogating
her on the inside. We're happy to send you his
way, but it will not be a friendly party. If
you're looking for a peaceful end to this, then
you'll let us in now. We're looking for answers.
We've been in contact with Jai. She tried to
drug him. She's... wielding a dagger coated with
purple worm venom from anchoring Sengar. Deadly
stuff. You think we haven't dealt with assassins
before? We had our fun with you. But now it's
time for answers. And you're going to give that
to him. He's waiting. Blanche reaches to touch
the... Yeah. They sort of nod as you reach out.
And you feel a pull. Something as you touch the
lantern, almost like the flame you see, almost
like grows and spreads. You feel these flickering,
vibrant flames cover your body. They do not hurt.
They almost like tickle a little. And then you
feel your cells being yanked, ripped, pulled,
shrinking, growing smaller, smaller, being torn
from this reality almost and pulled into a smaller
pocket dimension in a display of vibrant light.
I don't think there's any way that, especially
now that we know that this is a little hostile,
that Blanche would have left without Akio. I
don't want to keep going and then all of a sudden
something bad happens and we soup back out and
it's like, oh, they've got Akio under a knife.
It's like, no. It's just Akio for your mom. They're
all with you. He can sleep in the corner here.
Hell yeah. You are in the VIP room. You see a
small dome of a cavern. Rough stone walls, meaning
a stone floor covered by a red rug. Lush, cushion
-covered couches line the walls, and a thick
haze fills the air, smelling funky. This does
not smell like cinnamon. Better or worse than
dragon farts? Probably worse. Sorry, fairy farts.
A full bar sort of spreads across one side of
the room, and an elaborate dancing stage dominates
the other. There are many crystalline lights
that hang from the ceiling, like shimmering,
glowing stalag... Fuck, I wrote mites. Is it
mites? Tites? Stalag? Tites grip tight to the
ceiling, right? Boom, stalag. Mites, you might
walk into them? Ah, alright, alright. Stalag,
tites. Anyway, I don't care. The lights seem
to be dimmed at the moment. There is no music
playing here, and very little sound at all. In
the center of the room, you see that the red
rug has been torn apart by spikes of stone closing
in around the body of a blonde -haired woman
in a voluptuous red gown. Though altered by illusion,
you can see familiar features on the woman's
face. The best lies, after all, do hold some
amount of truth. Sharpened into a stone, press
in around her pale neck, Yara's pale neck, though
she looks surprisingly unbothered as she takes
your appearance in with a raised eyebrow. And
besides her sort of entombed form, you see a
half -elven man. Youthful in brown skin, chiseled
chin, high cheeks, dark brown hair, perfectly
curled, hazel eyes, the color glossed over by
some form of stupor. Again, like, the pupils
look very small, and he's almost, like, swaying
as he takes you in. Small of stature, but well
-muscled. See, he's wearing a beige curtain,
blue and green checkered shawl, open -chested
to show a kind of... smooth, sexy chest. And
Handsome Jai's smile is charm itself as he nods
to you. As he snaps his fingers and you see the
stone walls of the dome become translucent for
a moment, muffled sounds of thumbing music resonating
through them. Almost like staring through crystal,
you see the inside of Handsome House surrounding
the space, looking titanic. It is almost sickening
to watch as this entire room you're in is being
carried in the swaying hands of Sexy Avin as
he returns to a table. Used to hear, have fun,
chief. And in a blur, the gray color returns,
the stone walls, the sound of the outside world
vanishing entirely. The curtains have been closed.
That was a fun show. Really kept us entertained.
Between questions, if you want to grab a drink,
you might need it. And don't mind my lovely day.
She's the shy, quiet type. barely said a thing,
though I have been a perfect gentleman, asking
her all about herself. He takes a long pull from
his own glass, and then just, you see it just
falls out of his fingers, showers on the floor,
yarr under his sky's foremost, twitches a little
at the sound, and whoops, whoops, sorry, my minded
limbs are a bit off. Heather here, spiked my
glass with some crazy shit. Unfortunately, for
her, I poison myself with better every morning.
And he kind of just looks at you. Jai, I am not
here for the girl. I frankly don't care about
her at all. I don't know her. I think she's made
her own bed. Is there someplace that we can just
talk without this charade? Soldier to soldier?
Something is... Parley, if you will? Yeah, I
think you see his eyes sort of like settle. The
soldier, he liked that. You could feel he liked
that. Does... Does... handsome jai not i mean
like i'm not trying to be like do you know who
i am but like literally does handsome jai not
know who blanche is he is a top -ranked luminary
you are probably the most prominent up -and -comers
that exist right now right it is crazy to think
that someone wouldn't know who you are he doesn't
know who you are Okay. He can see his eyes. He
just looks like he's... You're like, okay, this
guy just... He's so out of it. He's so out of
whatever's going on. Yeah. Then she'll introduce
herself. Wait. Jean was the first total luminary,
right? Not Blanche? Jean was the first. Right.
Okay. And you know, his sidekicks knew who you
were. He just seems like he's at a different
level of... Yeah. So she'll introduce herself.
I'm Blanche Trudeau. former Master of Defense
for the Montelio family of Nuwari. I am now the
second total luminary in existence, the first
being my pupil, John Franklin Montelio, who is
now King Montelio. I cut my teeth learning with
my master, Ozen Yoshikatsu. He puts a hand up
as you're kind of moving on. Your pupil is the
king. You put a king on the throne, huh? I do
know something about that. Come on, grab a drink.
What would you know about that? I mean, who do
you think put Empress Feruza on the throne, huh?
We are pretty similar. Loyalists, right? Do you
regret it yet? Your loyalty to your cause? You
will. Eventually, you'll be like me. I'm going
to grab a drink. and just very callously just
walks away from Yara, who's just still kind of
stuck in place. There's, like, this stone edging,
kind of, like, and just pressing around her neck.
He just walks casually over to the bar and sort
of grabs something from behind it and gets fully
loaded bar, glass, you know, all sorts of bottles.
Noire, right? I think I got some jelly wine.
Oh, yeah, of course. Pumps over to the jelly
wine and it's the black liquid pouring in a glass.
Slides one over where you are. He doesn't even
look to see if he can take it. He grabs one for
himself. I don't much have a taste for the stuff
anymore, but I suppose that loyalty can test
your honor. I think I've been tested in such
a way before. I'd like to think that I have acted
honorably. Do you feel differently? I want you
to roll a check here. I like this a lot. Give
me a persuasion check. See if he'll open up to
you. Persuasion's really shitty for Blanche,
but we'll go for it. I want to give you advantage
because he's pretty messed up right now. This
is stuff he doesn't want to talk about, but there's
something in his system that's bad. Oh, I probably
don't need the persuasion. Well, I mean, it's
an 18 on the die with a plus zero, so yeah, 18.
18. Okay. Yeah, he's pretty messed up. I think
this makes sense. You say that, do you feel differently?
He kind of just sways in front of the bar. His
hand kind of raises over it and you see it comes
down to the bar kind of hard. And when it does,
a tremor of violence runs through this entire
room. You see bits of stone crack and fall from
the ceiling. And you begin to realize just how
dangerous the situation is for you. A room of
stone and a powerful sort of earth -based...
A warlock. We're in his domain. You are, truly.
Not a place to mess around. You kind of... War
hero. That's what they call me, you know? But
do you know how one becomes a war hero? Yeah,
I'll tell you. You stop killing soldiers. You
start killing innocents. You start torturing
prisoners. You start poisoning wells and burning
enough food to feed a city. Thankfully, though,
when the war's over, the winners get to write
a story, right? So, boom, war hero. No one has
to know. Because the greater good is all that
matters, right? Right? You don't have to be that
way anymore, Jai. Oh, I'm not. I... Forget. I
choose to forget every day. But I am getting
off topic. Why are you here? Are you part of
the assassination? Clearly you can see I'm not
going to die. You can't get me. The assassination
is over, and while I would hate to see the girl
die, she's not a threat to you. Let her wave
the white flag. Let us talk. It doesn't involve
her anymore. She's nothing. Then why is she here?
What did I do? Miss Mesmerize? Sorry, Heather
Skyes? I frankly don't care why Mesmerize is
here, or whatever she chooses to call herself.
I'm here to talk to you about Rune, and I don't
have the time to figure out my problems. and
her problems in the same night. I have an appointment
at 11 o 'clock. His eyes actually do go wide
when you say Rune. Rune. Rune. What do you know
about Rune? Not much yet, but we're hoping that
you can teach us something. I told you. When
the war is over, the winners write the story,
they make all the bad stuff go away. Except,
you can't get rid of all the evidence. It's still
out there somewhere. Recordings and whatnot.
And if you're clever enough, like a certain gnome,
you might realize that a war hero's got a few
skeletons in his closet. I don't think I can
help you against Rune, because Rune's got me
by the throat. I mean, all I want to do is forget.
And if he lets it all out, if the worlds know
what I am, What my squad is. We'll never be able
to forget. No one will. Hell, Taib might blow
up in a civil war again. Back to the front lines,
soldier. I already know what you are. You're
a soldier who is following orders, who can turn
over a new leaf. You're a veteran. You deserve
some respect. You want to add anything to this?
Damn. This is a persuasion check. If you want
to give a view of help action, this is a... Uh,
yeah. Yeah, please, because Blanche is a plus
zero. Jules will say, you know, I don't think
we're all that dissimilar. Try to decide who
should... I want Blanche to make the check, because
she's built a rapport. But I'm going to give
you her advantage because of that. I think that
makes sense right now. You're the focus. You're
the one he's watching. But he hears your words,
kind of nods. We don't know what you've been
through, but we can relate. We understand. Natural
19. Well, I mean, it's a plus zero. So 19 on
the first roll. Let's see if we crit. Nope. 19
was the higher. 19's pretty good. 19's real good.
All right. Snaps his fingers and you see the
stone begins to... He whispers an enchantment
and all this going around. Yara fades away, breaking
deck. You see, like, as it slides back into the
floor, the carpet where it was torn apart kind
of just sort of is mended, perfectly sort of
cleared. Yara kind of takes a breath and sort
of collapses for a second, just... It is not
what he says. I am not here to kill him. He would
not... could not understand. It's the goblin.
I'm here for Triss. It sounds like we maybe all
have something in common, then. Trace. Oh, Trace.
What time is it right now? Blanche checks her
watch. I think we said things start off at 8
.30 when you got in. I'd say it's 9 .30 now.
It's probably been an hour out there. Okay. Makes
sense to me. All right. Moving around, doing
various things, probably a lot of in -between
stuff. So, yeah, call at 9 .30. Oh, 10 o 'clock.
He's... Do pretty soon. Goblin's got a way in.
Rune likes to, you know, collect, give orders,
blah, blah, blah. Needed his own way in, so he
just kind of appears right here. If you want
to talk to Rune, you can talk to the goblin.
What does he collect? Money. From me. Hmm, I
see. Just money. Though occasionally he wants
me to... Yeah. So if the money stops, he releases
footage? Yeah. All of it. And he, like, gets
as far of looking at his eyes. Like, you can
tell there's something unsaid, too. Like, maybe
he's done some bad stuff for Rune as well. Oh,
sure. Well, I think you and Heather over here,
or whatever, have even more in common than any
of us thought. She used to be just like you.
So I am? Kind of looks sort of confused. You
were one of Rune's. Huh. Oh. Why didn't you tell
me? Well, I guess I haven't been the most pleasant
host. I probably wouldn't have talked either.
I can respect that. So, it's a we all hate Rune
party then. I can get behind that. Do you hate
Rune? Cap points to Akio. I don't know him, but
I hate him. Ruff. Just, yeah, that guy sucks,
straight up. Okay, so... What's our... What's
our feeling about Trace? Like, when we last left
Trace... I think one of the last things we said
about him a few episodes ago was he owes us.
Right, yeah, because Jules and Zed let him go.
What are we hoping now to accomplish with Trace
that we couldn't accomplish with Jai? Maybe hope
to find out how we can get rid of the leverage
that Rune has over Jai. It's also worth noting,
Trace, like Jai, is... being blackmailed by Rune,
right? He's like Yara, like so many others, like
Sturgeman. Sturgeman actually was working with
him. His identity can be held over him, but Sturgeman
seems to be kind of somewhat confident in his
ability to kind of weasel out if he needs to.
He's scary enough. But Trace isn't being blackmailed.
Trace is just his number one thug, the only one
left to him from the original group you saw.
He might get in closer to anybody else. He might
know more than anybody else. He might be the
most instrumental pawn in this chess game. You
suddenly find yourselves playing. Yeah, so if
Jules can cash in the favor, not just the favor,
but also convince Trace that Rune is a bad dude
and that in this room is the power to stop him,
finally, quote -unquote, free Trace, you know,
Trace can get some redemption. He can honor the
debts owed to his, I don't want to say friend.
Yeah. But Jules literally saved his life. We
also need to convince Yara not to fucking kill
him. Yeah, I think that's easy at this point,
especially in this room, because Jai can control
it pretty easily. The biggest problem, we've
got an appointment at 11 o 'clock. Yeah, that's
true. He's coming at 10. It seems like it'll
all work out okay. You have time now. So I'll
ask you, like right now, the situation's somewhat
resolved. I think Jai just goes and takes a seat,
maybe like one of the couches, kind of thumps
down. Yara sort of... gingerly carefully begins
to slide over. I think the dagger, you see he
has a dagger at his hip. He kind of pulls it
out and looks it over. You can see there's a
purple sort of coating on the blade, and he's
kind of looking at that. Clearly probably the
one that she took. They mentioned that she had
a dagger coated with purple worm venom. That's
serious, serious shit. But he looks like he's
somewhat placated, so she kind of moves and slides
over kind of behind you all. Thank you for coming.
I was not sure what to do. I don't know how you
ended up here, too, but I suppose you have, right
now, more reason than I do, even, to want to
take Rune out. He's the one behind it, you know.
He's the one who's forcing Storyteller Oren,
your friend, Kully, to say these things. Oh,
I knew it. He's more powerful, more dangerous
than ever. He has been made Atash's sidekick.
Do you know what this means? What? Rune has?
Yeah, Sturgeon told you that. Oh, I forgot that.
He has the power now to arrest, to make charges
in Atash's name. And we can stop that. But you
need to do me a favor. Do not kill Trace. I have
no beef with the goblin. I just want to send
Rune a message that I'm here. Hopefully get him
to back off. But if this is your wish, then yes,
the goblin lives. He owes me. Thank God, in this
moment. Realizing she's kind of been caught,
her blonde hair fades away to long silver hair.
Her skin grows even paler. Her clothing, her
red dress kind of changes to a long, I think,
black gown covered in purple and orange eye symbols.
She takes on her true form. Again, elephant ears,
she is an elf. So let me ask you now, what do
you want to do? You know there's some time before
Trace appears. How do you want to, like, hands
are dry, he's gone quiet, sort of drinking. He's
kind of basically put out there, like, hey, you
can talk to Trace if you want when he shows up.
You're kind of here anyway, so. I don't think
there's much mechanics to be done here. I think
it's really going to be role play and improv.
That's how we're going to find our way through
this. Hell yeah. Yep. Okay. Yara, I think, moves
and takes a seat. Akio maybe like wanders over
by her and lies back down, still tired from his
dancing earlier. And she begins to sort of scratch
at his ears. And he's kind of, oh, I like you.
Chest is by your side, standing at guard, ready
to go. He's like in front of you like Secret
Service. Jules is kind of watching, waiting.
You've had a history with Trace back and forth.
He's, you know, very tense about this. What are
you guys doing while you wait? I think Jules
will ask. So what have you been up to? What have
you been seeing out there? I have been underground.
I had hoped to have a chance to strike at Rune,
take him out. But then this happened. This sudden
partnership with Atash. I never saw it coming.
It's madness. But he's so powerful now. And I
guess so is Atash. With Rune's connections, I
worry what they will do together. Truly. Oh,
I found my sister, by the way. She's here, actually,
outside at the party. I found Tonya. Thank you
again for helping. Has the Ring of Spell storing
been serving you well? It was old family heirloom,
but you earned it. Wait, what? I thought you
had it. Yeah. We've used it a couple times. I
haven't. You looked at me like, I'm like, yeah,
it's been working great for me. Oh, well, I don't
see Blanche in this conversation. I think Blanche
is talking with Jai. Kind of like swapping, you
know, war stories and, you know, talking about
her battles against the Sahagin and, you know,
complaining about field rations and trying to
relate and keep the situation de -escalated.
Yeah, yeah. So you just see that two sides of
the room, they separate from each other. So yeah,
Jules and Yara, Blanche and Jai, that's perfect.
It's been working out good. It's good. I'm glad.
Yes. I, uh, I'm sorry for all this. I thought
it was a good plan. I don't know. I was frustrated.
I could not find a way to strike out. Rudin's
untouchable, but the goblin... The goblin can
very much be touched. We're here now, and we
got a chance. What do you plan to do? You want
to kill him, you say? Will you try to turn him?
I think he's almost already there. You should
look surprised at that. Just... really. We've
had a couple run -ins with him. Let me ask you
this. You... have had your reputations tarnished
greatly. You, one might say, stand on the losing
side of a war. Rudner Song has become Atash's
sidekick. He has become one of the most powerful
people in the world. Now, if you were on his
side, would you shift? Would you change? I worry
that you are wrong. If you're on that side, you
lose no matter what. I agree. I hope. Truly,
I hope he does as well. Sorry I had to kill you.
You know, way back in the... Preserve of the
Ancestors. I do feel bad. That was... I almost
got you. Yeah, I am over it. I almost... But
you didn't. I didn't. You didn't. I'm sorry to
hear of Zebulon. He was cool. Yeah. He was. I
think we just kind of... The conversation continues.
Chatter on the side of the room. As you talk,
I think, like, Chester isn't in any kind of...
He's just kind of watching, waiting, waiting.
And then... You see, just like the lamp, a multicolored
flame suddenly comes down from, like, the center
of the sort of dome cavern, spiraling down, touching
the floor, and... A small figure is standing
in the center of the room. A goblin. You see
Trace looks. Better than before. His sort of
ratty armor's been changed over for like this
really nice, fine plate. Absolutely shining and
white. Red sort of cape coming down his goblin
back, sort of trailing on the floor. It's a little
too long, but it looks cool. His, you know, he
has the same goblin feature. He looks less ragged
somehow, less tired. And as he appears, his eyes
sort of like turn. He catches, like, one long,
like, across the room. Double take to you, Jules.
Double take over to Jai and Blanche. Back to
you, Jules. What in the fuck is this? Hey! Oi!
What is this, Jai? Are you going against his
back? You know what happens, right? If I don't
go back to him, you know what happens. And Jai,
like, stiffens beside you, Blanche. And you see
this feature suddenly get very sober and very
tense. What are you lying for? Here to take me
out, are you? You think I'm a fool still, don't
you? You think I'm nothing! If I wanted to take
you out, I could have done it multiple times
by now. Yeah. You know that's not what I want
to do. You know me. What do you want, Jules?
All I know is you've humiliated me time and time
again. At Rune's place, in the desert, outside.
I could have killed you, but I didn't. No, you
just left me humiliated. You treated me like
nothing. Well, I'm not nothing anymore, am I?
Now, I'm high up. Rune's our type of sidekick,
you know that. It's a secret, but I don't care.
It's true. Which means I'm practically there
myself. I may not be a luminary like you. I was
torn away from it. Unlike you were, but I'll
be even better soon. I'll be even higher. Everything
I ever wanted. I'm about to have it. And you
can't stop it. You can't get in my way. From
the... I think I have a good interjection. From
the couch, Blanche will say, I've heard the stories
about you, Trace. From what Jules has told me,
if he didn't set you free back there in the desert,
then you would be in Atasha's Sky Prison as we
speak. That's pretty good. That's really good.
I like that a lot. Let's do our first check here.
Let's do our first. We'll have a multiple sort
of check situation to see where this competition
flows. See, I see that as an assist, though.
I see that as an assist for Jules. Jules' role,
persuasion with advantage. Holy shit. There's
no way. I'm not going to jinx it. Blanche is
kind of sitting there with Jai. And, like, when
Jai gets all tense, Blanche just tries to, like,
chill him out. Just be like. I know that you're
scared, but there's nothing he can do to hurt
you. Just let Jules take care of this. This is
their kerfuffle to figure out. Kerfuffle. Ooh,
26. Maybe that's so. Maybe. But it's not the
case now. No, he respects me. You know deep down
they don't give a shit about you. You know that.
This, like, strikes a chord. You see, like, he
winces like that hurt. No, no, they never did.
Never gave me a chance. Because I'm a goblin.
I climbed here myself, though. Through my efforts,
I'm the only one that stayed. Only one that was
loyal to Rune, did what he asked. Everything
he asked. And I could have it. Everything I wanted,
I could have it. What do you want from me, eh?
Why are you actually here? You know what I want
from you. I've asked you every time we've met.
I want you to join us. Join me. You are strong.
You're admirable. And I know you know good from
evil. They're just using you. But over here,
we're a family. Everybody's accepted for who
they are. And you can have everything you want.
And you can get it. The right way. Not in the
way that's going to haunt you for the rest of
your life. Is that really a price you want to
pay? Oh, this is really good. Roll me a persuasion
check. Button for advantage. Nice. Okay. Nice.
24. Yeah. We zoom in towards Trace's face. Mouth
slightly open, eyes wide, hearing these words.
He's shaking. Because you have struck a chord.
A vein of thought that perhaps has been running
through his mind all this time. We zoom in to
the blackness, to the pupils in his eyes. In
that darkness, we find ourselves in a cave. A
memory of a cave. Small light flickering on the
edge of this room. Black caverns, not unlike
the room we stand in now, though much more narrow.
Furnishings are much more, uh, rough, you could
say. Looks like things fished from a garbage
pile. There is some kind of sofa here, though.
There's one, like, big kind of armchair. One
arm is missing on one side. It's, like, half
tilted. Uh, just looks patchy and gross. But
as we zoom up towards this chair, as we kind
of pan around it, we see an older goblin woman
in like a scrappy sort of sack of a dress. She's
got like a little book of one she found somewhere.
It looks like the pages are wet, almost molded
over. It would be like a comic scroll of some
sort, showing the exploits of perhaps the luminary
Ozen Yoshikatsu. She's reading a little story
and we see the goblin in her arms, this little
tiny goblin in her arms is staring at the pictures,
hearing her words, ears, giant ears sort of flickering,
taking it all in with this big smile. And as
the scroll closes, it's stowed by the side as
she rocks on this wobbling chair, this little
goblin child. We can hear him. Mom, I promise.
I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Me. I
promise. I'm going to be the first goblin luminary.
And we pan out from that cave. We pan out from
that scene. Back out from Trace's eyes and we
see now there are tears running from them. He
is crying. I won't. I tried it the right way.
They won't listen if I do this. I break my promise.
I give up everything. I... His hands curl into
fists. You see the shoulders of his brilliant
armor sort of slacken. His arms drop to his side.
His head lowers. Tears. Speckling the red carpet.
Okay. Okay. Fine. What do you want me to do?